"Do you want me to leave?!" pour Xal et Dorian :^D
Oh. I know what you want Ü And you’ll get it huhuhu… I’m gonna break some hearts… Part under the cut !
1. “Do you want me to leave?” - Xalynir x Dorian, angst, ~610 words [notes at the end]
Tevinter, 9:45 Dragon. People murmuring near the gates of the magisterium, where the daily council has been postponed. On the stairs leading to the first floor, magisters were speaking quietly while looking at the incessant coming and going of guards. The latters were rushing in Magister Pavus’ office ; blood coloured the marble floor and a body was laying not far from the pool of blood, a staff blade still stuck in his side. On the balcony, two men were facing each other, one of them trying to clean the blood off of himself. “What are you doing here Amatus ?”Dorian’s voice was shaking, as he examined his lover, looking for any wound. In front of him, the Inquisitor smiled while rearranging his clothes. “I learned about an assassination attempt here, in Tevinter, from Leliana. We got confirmation that you were targeted and…”Dorian shook his head - Xalynir was unsufferable. He will never learn, will he. “I know that, Xal. I have quite a network too. I thought I told you that. -But you were in danger Dorian ! Imagine if your men couldn’t make it on time. I couldn’t let that happen Dorian I- -Are you underestimating my men’s abilities, my network ? Dorian raised his voice, trying to conceel the shaking tone. -No, of course not but I--Then why did you come.”
The room went dead silence for what seemed like hours. Xalynir looked at the floor, while Dorian took a deep breath. This last month has been very stressful for Dorian, between the councils, the assassination attempts, trying to reform this bloody country. He didn’t need to worry about Xalynir being in Tevinter. But here he was. “I thought you made a promise, amatus. I thought you agreed to let me do this on my own. - he sighed- I can’t worry about Tevinter, the Lucerni and you. -I can manage myself Dorian. I am not a delicate flower. -But you know nothing of Tevinter, Xalynir. Here, you are a delicate and fragile thing. You’re the Inquisitor. You’re still a target. Kaffas can’t you understand that ?! I don’t want to lose you, Xal ! Could you stop being a stubborn child for a moment and running to help everyone ? You can’t stay here. ”Xalynir’s heart stopped. Dorian was angry and scared and frustrated. But he couldn’t be meaning that, could he ? With a trembling voice he asked : “Do-do you want me to leave ?” His eyes seeking Dorian’s, desperate to be wrong, that he didn’t mess it all up this much. Dorian’s jaw clenched.
“Yes.”
The words resonated in Xal’s head. He barely heard Maevaris in the room. “Dorian, don’t do anything stupid”, she began. Dorian dismissed her comment with a flick of the hand and looked at Xalynir in the eyes. “I can’t work in these conditions, Xalynir. I can’t work while you’re here. And you broke a promise you made. I think we’re both in a difficult moment in our lives and I… I think we should take some time for ourselves.”Xalynir’s world fell apart on these simple words. Emotions boiled inside of him - he wanted to scream, to lose it, to let out everything he held up since the last time he saw Dorian, to tell him how miserable he was, that he felt lonely and scared and desperate.
But he did none of that. Tears rolled down his cheeks, and not saying a word he grabbed his staff and left the room.
Dorian gripped on the balcony’s railing as he watched his amatus get on his hart and leave the city. Words went out too fast, but they were true. And now, everything felt much darker.
[Oooookay some context x) this is set post Trespasser and is canon in their story. Xalynir is miserable since the end of Trespasser, he suffers from losing his arm, almost everyone left to begin their new lives. He doesn’t blame them, but he feels so alone and he still doesn’t talk about his problems and needs and emotions. He misses Dorian and he held onto this promise until he came across this assassination attempt.]
