#wr anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

ok so i've never done this before, so sorry if I do it wrong or something.

first off (this unrelated), I just wanted to say I love love love your writing and you really inspired me to start writing fanfiction! mine isn't that good, but it's really fun and you're such a big inspiration for me.

anyway, to the problem.

i don't really want to get into specifics bc I don't want the person this is about to realize it's about them, but basically I have a partner (called W) and I really love them. they have other partners, which is fine with me. I am friendly with their other partners. we talked about it and stuff and they asked me if it was okay if they had different partners. I don't have any other partners because I personally don't feel like I need any others. (btw, these are all QPRs. we are in a QPR).

recently, a person close to me (called R) asked my W if they wanted to be partners. I was kinda upset because R didn't even really talk to me about it? like, I'm not saying R had to ask for permission, but I feel like a heads-up would have been nice? anyway, me and W talked about it and I told them it was fine, because I did end up accepting it. or I thought I did.

but now, I feel weird every time me and W talk. and they said something to me that kinda rubbed me the wrong way the other day about my physical appearance. I know it wasn't on purpose, but I just feel weird. And R hasn't talked to me in a couple days.

i just feel left out, if that makes sense? R and I were really close and I thought R would have told me.

i don't even know why I told you all of this, I just wanted to vent, I guess? but I really don't know what to do. I feel like talking to W would be worse because I told them it was fine, which I wasn't lying when I said that. i just started feeling weird about it.

i'm sorry if this doesn't make sense

Hi!

This definitely makes sense. I think the thing is, with any relationship, no matter the type, communication is important. I know you're worried saying something is going to make it worse, but the alternative is to just let the emotions fester, you know? I think you need to sit down with both R and W separately and share your feelings. Make sure to be calm and respectful (you can write things out beforehand if needed) but it's important to communicate your feelings, needs, and boundaries. If you can't, the relationships will never be healthy, and that's not fair to anyone.

Naming you WR anon!

[mor-beck-more-problems]

[Meta] What does your character think is the primary conflict in their life at the moment? -Versus- What do you as an author perceive as the primary conflict?

// Right now, Morgan thinks her biggest problem is her personal relationship to violence and the extent to which she can invent, envision, and enforce alternatives. She had a cozy few months after being responsible by proxy for a lot of death and carnage, befriending saetimps with Mina, getting ghost allies to run interference to save Erin, negotiating with pixies with Leah, and trying to flee rather than fight in the face of leprechauns and face-stealers. However, the arrival of the stymphalian bird, and Morgan’s difficult decision about what to do with it, served as a grim reminder that the world will always take. Having conceded that some creatures must die, even if they’re only behaving the way they were made to, Morgan’s hope now rests on finding the peace she hopes for in her dealings with people, most recently seen in her insistence that Kyle not be harmed after the events that transpired with Bex. Morgan is not wrong in centering her chatoic ethos as a point of concern, but her approach is individualistic, dealing with her own actions and trying to influence and help individuals on a case-by-case basis as she meets them, nothing else. There’s a bigger sociological dynamic at play that runs on irresolvable tension checked with the kinds of bloody choices she is earnestly trying to avoid. So, the questions that arise from this are: at what point will Morgan realize that she cannot turn her grey existence black and white? How will conceding the necessity of violence affect her capacity for hope, her efforts for peace, and personal self-restraint? What role will she give herself, and her violence, in her community (i.e. under what circumstances does she deem it permissible, for which causes, which people, will she break herself a little by taking a life)?

Some of these questions will be addressed in the near future. To quote one of my collaborators: “YO THAT SHIT'S GONNA MAIM SO FUCKING HARD” 

:-------) The rest I am excited to vibe with as the story unfolds.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

What is the best day your character can imagine having?

// Hope springs eternal for Morgan, so her best and sappiest visions are all of the future. Also, this got long. Peace, love, and friendship dreams under the cut. So...

Deirdre wakes up from the glare of the sun pouring through their bedroom windows. She smiles, having had no nightmares, and looks up into Morgan’s eyes because Morgan, for a change, is holding her in their bed. 

After sexy enjoying one another’s company with no rush at all, the two of them go downstairs to the kitchen, and Morgan starts making breakfast. Deirdre sits on the counter, watches, admires, and occasionally licks the spoon. Before they finish, Bex and Mina come down, and there’s noise all over the room while Bex helps Morgan finish cooking and Mina and Deirdre confound each other with conversation. 

The dishes can wait. Morgan kisses her family goodbye and goes to work, where she takes upper-division students on a deep dive through contemporary supernatural literature, and then does a big lecture event where she does a presentation about existential dread and immortality in zombie media. Because as a newly-minted tenure track professor, that’s stuff she gets to do now. Later, she visits Leah at the library, where the supernatural education scheme has grown into a large underground operation with mentorship and mutual aid between supernatural species thrown in. As a treat.

As the sun sets, Deirdre comes to pick her up, and Morgan delights in greeting her, being seen with her, in this peaceful community space. As they leave, she sees Griffin and Miriam going inside with the rest of the undead reading group she’s started. It’s only Griffin’s second time, but when their eyes meet, they both smile like they’re more okay than they’ve been in a while.  Deirdre drives them up Hambry Park for a picnic, and Morgan savors the bite of too-sweet wine on her teeth and the burn of spicy fried brains. They talk until the stars come out, and then they talk some more, and when they get tired of the ghosts snarking at their happiness, they go home and join the girls for part of their umpteenth movie night, and then excuse themselves smugly to their room so Bex and Mina can do what Bex and Mina like to do. 

And for once, Morgan doesn’t resent the sharp clarity of her mind as she hears Deirdre’s slow banshee breath grow into sighs only she knows the rhythm of. For once, Morgan is grateful for the chance to play it all back in her head: the glare of the sun, the hum of a packed lecture all, the smiles of her friends, the butterfly tickle of her partner’s lips. And so, bundling herself into Deirdre’s arms, that’s just what Morgan does. ​

[mor-beck-more-problems]

What's a plot or arc you're itching to explore with your character?

All I want for Plotmas is...

Being put in a situation where she is challenged/incentivized to kill or seriously harm a person-y supernatural.

Put in a situation where she has the opportunity and incentive to be physically violent to a normie. Ditto hunters. She’s done the latter before, but not since trying to be less casual about murder and maiming.

Having a zombie adversary, someone up to things she either does not understand or feels compelled to stop or both. 

Discovering reanimator.

Having to work with a hunter she is not already on good terms with.

Having her trust and faith in someone being shattered and/or confronted with someone who refuses to change

More attempts at supernatural education. Some working really well, some working really not. And speaking of...

Shenanigans (very silly and also very not) that arise as a consequence of teaching pixies how to read.

Other fae nonsense.

Someone is interested in being zombie’d, Morgan is not amused.

Morgan zombies or attempts to zombie someone as a punishment, they are not amused.

Being the world’s worst detective again.

More supernatural youngins brought into her weird deathly brood

More grown-up friends and allies

Questioning what’s so great about humans and hiding from them anyway

Peace, love, and happiness for the zombie, as always <3 <3 <3

[mor-beck-more-problems]

[meta] What's an hc for your character you developed in a spur of the moment? What's one you planned in advance?

// Spur of the moment: Morgan genuinely believes in balance and seeing the best in people/things.

Planned out: Morgan worked at The Magick Cauldron in Houston as one of her cycle of shitty retail jobs. Also, The Gap.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

What song or book do you associate with your character?

// I’m lousy at picking one thing. I hope you were expecting a collage of media.  Maybe This Time is a nice summation of the Classic TM Morgan mood but Sky Full of Song has that nice soul-tired and acting-out-about-it vibe that’s colored a good chunk of her narrative too. And not a book, but I can’t look at anything by Mary Oliver without thinking of Morgan anymore. Especially Wild Geese. You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting - over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Would you character ever sacrifice someone they care about to save the world? And no, they can't sacrifice themselves instead.

// That is a very hard no. Even if it meant that she and whoever will die anyway. She’s not letting go of someone she loves, so the world can burn baby burn. :/

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Do you have any recurring nightmares?

I used to. Trauma's a real bitch.