YOU JUST LOVE TO REMIND ME THAT I’M GAAAARBAGE
immediately begins to shimmy when maroon 5 comes on: Alex. Jefferson just rolls his eyes (but he’s not gonna look away...)
wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes: Jefferson because he doesn’t CARE that Hamilton is asleep for the first time in half a week, that’s his own fault anyway, Thomas just woke up from a dream about IHOP and by god, if he’s letting this immigrant sleep in his bed, he’s going to be put to use.
sends the other unsolicited nudes: Thomas Jefferson: America’s First Fuckboy (turned modern AU)
brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt: Jefferson went to the best martial arts school his parents could afford, which was the literal best. Of COURSE he knows karate. (It’s just a threat he dangles over people’s head. He doesn’t even remember how to properly kick)
comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops: Alex!! Jefferson doesn’t even notice until he’s half a block ahead. When he finally does turn around he rolls his eyes, walks back to the shop and mutters “Why did we start fucking, again?” But he’s already opening the door and gesturing for Alex to go inside and pick something out. Alex picks out something that doesn’t even cost five dollars but Jefferson still bitches about the price. Then glares when Alex says they don’t have to buy it.
blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit: Both of them but it’s more when they’re being little shits to each other at work. And they aren’t blown kisses but middle fingers..... When they aren’t at work they’re sarcastic kisses tho!
killed the guy (also, which hid the body): Alex killed the guy, Jefferson hid the body.
wears the least clothing around the house: Jefferson because it’s his damn house and he can do what he wants.
has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason: Alex when they’re just sitting around, and Jefferson shoves him away. But then five minutes later he’ll grab Alex’s arm and yank him over and have the sentimental moment. It’s different this time, because HE wanted it.
....Jefferson is more like a cat than alex realized and the man hates it when it’s brought to attention.