❛ you seem stressed . ❜ lips pursed , rosebud hue , a gentle form ‘neath hand that strokes at chin in intrigue : but eyne do not falter , do not rise nor fall , rather , they stay at a steady level to meet ice / ice . discretion links lip to finger , eyne drawn down in an art of faux modesty . chin turns to shoulder now , resting ‘pon curvature . ( and i will become : lilies ‘pon the veranda tickling at your youth / make you think of me , always ) ❛ need someone to listen ? ❜ @medicative
❛ THEY DESERVE BETTER . ❜ will a woman's fan the ocean smooth ? or prayers the stony parcæ soothe , or coax the thunder from its mark ? or tapers light the chaos dark ? in spite of virtue and the muse , nemesis will have her dues , and all our struggles and our toils tighter wind the giant coils . the hallow of his eyne winces , tethers to flesh and bone , and to the ichor that threatens to spill ... o’mother , o’justice that binds , do you feel his pain ? the end of his breathlessness -- is this what you had planned ? hark -- another choked hymn ! blood spills down a peach chin , dribbles like a tacky juice . did you punish his hubris though it never met it’s peak ? ( i have plunged like a deer through the arches of the hoary primordial grove , and here the oaks feel the presence that marches two - by - two -- soon i will taste pomegranates and god flesh , flashing neon lights now on the horizon of my path to dispense a special kind of balance ) . ❛ we all do . and that’s why they have to pay . ❜ @savieour
Trump's Executive Order to Ban Muslims from entering this country is horrible and devasting to the Muslim community and for many refugees fleeing their war-torn countries, such as the Syrian Refugees who are in dire need of our help. I can't afford to give to charity. I'm poorer than dirt, but I want to help.
So if you give donate money to the ACLU and submit or PM me a screenshot or a copy of your receipt I will give you free cover art for your fanfic or a free book cover for your original book.
❛ jeez ! you really are a dog . ❜ digits , slender and white , rake through sericate strands like a comb -- and the halcyon mien is not missed on him , nor the zephyr that passes through empty crux . ( and a reminder that you needn’t breath , and you needn’t speak / not for the presence of this jacinth spirit or his / your damask lips , nor the blinding cantor of your tone , but for the fact that he , too , is one of many pneumas sent to the sierra to heal ) the eutony of his voice settles into something glowing now , a gentle thing undeserving of this greedling’s pith . ❛ i missed talking to you . i got lonely . ❜ @noshish
❛ you know , ❜ the gingered flesh of whelps deracinating , let not the ruddy - tinted cheeks of him shy ‘way from that dwelling thought . ( the recurring vista of : what if i was to dip her morning beads in cherries / sweet almond first ? would i have fallen from grace ? would she live on in spite of me / would she have met this saviour ? ) a lilt of grandiose / morning glory climbs under the pondweed , dragon flies and , a drowsy midnight heat that squirms . it makes his words seem sticky -- and he clings to the other’s arm still despite the heat , as if to seek in a jejune tone : don’t leave . ❛ sometimes i think it would be best if it were just you and i in the whole wide world . then you wouldn’t have to go chasing down ugly little kekkais . those things are disgusting ! ❜ @noshish
content warning : car crash
appearance/s from : jang do-hyun in reference to this
"― and if all things go well, there might be a wedding invitation for you too," the delighted grin falters for a moment, contemplating her own words as if confusing even herself. "are you allowed to come to patient's weddings or is that another boundary crossing rule?"
melia smiles, almost apologetically, "that is another boundary that's best not to cross. i appreciate the thought though."
clicking away on the keyboard, she wonders what about her seems to unintentionally invite others to latch on, especially at work. she'll mostly get harmless comments like that; patients seemingly forgetting they're talking to a medical professional and instead treating her as a friend. on one hand, it is a sign that they're comfortable and trust her, which is a good thing, especially with this population. on the other, she can't help but wonder if she's giving off the wrong impressions...
"so, we're okay with leaving things where they're at, right?" melia steers the conversation back to wrapping up their appointment when she looks at her screen and sees the girl's dejected expression.
"...yes,that's okay."
"perfect. i'm thinking we can also check back in a bit later than a month, since things are going well... what about in january?"
────── 〔✿〕 ──────
she stretches a bit after closing her laptop and glances at the clock. a little break before the next session won't hurt and she wants to check-in on yeonu anyways. she ventures out the office and down the hall to the living room, but before she can make it there, melia feels a hand circle around her wrist and tug her backwards, sending her stumbling into a pair of arms.
"jang do-hyun, you scared me half to death!" the scolding she wants to give him doesn't quite land, failing to resist the urge to giggle when he does his usual greeting of lightly bumping his head against hers.
"sorry, i was just about to let you know i'll be gone for a few hours."
"to see your friend, yes?"
he nods. he had been getting out quite often lately— not that she has complaints. as much as melia would love to spend all day snuggling up with her baby and boyfriend, maintaining healthy boundaries was important. she raises herself on her tiptoes to kiss him goodbye but the moment lips touch, a stabbing pain erupts in her head. she gasps, almost doubling over while clutching the right side of face.
"mel?!" dohyun’s frantic voice sounds muffled and far away, though she knows he’s right there. she can feel him his arms tightening around her waist to keep her upright, "are you okay? what's happening?!"
it only lasts a few seconds, subsiding to a dull throbbing, but the pain is so excruciating it felt like hours of torture. something is very wrong, something to do with him. her head was spinning with waves of emotions as he holds her at arms-length to examine her. "i-i'm... fine," she answers weakly, doing her best to straighten up and give him a reassuring smile. "it's just a migraine. i get them a lot." and when the look on his face makes his concern obvious, she waves him away dismissively, "seriously, i'm okay! i'll take some medicine and lay down for a bit... but you should get going."
those words leave a bitter taste in her mouth and her throat dry but she choose to ignore it. it was likely some kind of sickness, her body still recovering from giving birth. dohyun is clearly not convinced, so she all but shove him out the front door. "your friend is probably waiting, hyun! just... be careful, okay?"
he hesitates for a moment but knew better than to argue with her, and mutters a "of course" while leaning down to give her one last kiss on the top of the head before heading out the door. "i love you."
"love you too."
as soon as the lock turns, melia is stumbling back down the hall, shearing pain returning in full force. vision is blurry and her mouth tastes like pennies. her stomach churns and threatens to come up. half-blind, she rummages through the bathroom's medicine cabinet until she makes out the label of the right bottle, struggling with the cap for a second too long before throwing back two pills dry. she then leans over the sink, turning the faucet on so cold water gushes out and greedily drinks straight from the tap until the thirst finally subsides.
breathing heavily, she slowly raises her head but is no longer in her bathroom and instead on a street. all around her, there's debris, smoking pieces of various vehicles, people screaming in agony. the ones who weren’t crying out for help are crowded on the sidewalks, trying to catch a glimpse of the scene with some morbid curiosity, gawking like a mindless mob. she shoves her way through the crowd, no one really paying her any mind, and stumbles into a smaller street, only to be met with something that makes her blood run cold. in front of her, there's a familiar car flipped over and without really thinking, her foot takes a step forward. glass crunches beneath her feet and smell the scent of blood is invading her nose. her whole body feels like it's weighed down, making ever step harder and harder to make.
she doesn't want to see who's in the driver seat, but she has to. she already knows who it is, but she has to look.
eyes are burning, either from smoke or tears, and breath is rapid and shallow with a growing sense of panic as she inches forward. she doesn't want to see, but she leans forward anyways and the driver's lifeless corpse comes into view.
her mouth opens to scream.
"ms. chu?" a voice snaps her back to the present. melia is in the bathroom again, faucet running on full blast; no wreckage, no fires, no image of dohyun's unmoving body bent in odd ways inside a totaled car. the nanny is standing in the doorway holding yeonu, and she meets her disturbed gaze in the mirror. "are you alright, ms. chu?"
she couldn't answer at first, her body still in frozen as she turns her attention back to the reflection. she's pale as a ghost, eyes tinged with red and blood that she hadn't noticed until then trickling down her nose. cursing and grabbing a handful of toilet paper to stop the bleeding, she answers forcefully while fumbling to turn the sink off, "yes, i'm fine! it happens sometimes." grabbing a second wad of toilet paper, melia begins to wipe up the blood that had dripped onto the counter but the nanny stops her.
"you need to go lay down. i'll clean this up."
"but―"
"go. lay. down." the older woman's tone makes her shrinks away and shuffles back down the hall to the master bedroom, hearing her call after, "and change out of that shirt and leave it in the hall! you got blood on it too!"
sure enough, there are bright red splotches dotting the front of the blouse, causing her to curse again. she stops at the vanity mirror and cautiously pulls the paper away from her face. it looks like the bleeding has stopped as quickly as it started, only leaving behind its smears across her lips. she sighs and tosses the soiled wad into the wastebin, then reaches a few more tissues to gently blow her nose with. the pain she felt in her head is now just a normal headache, but it left behind a realization that is even more agonizing.
something is going to happen to him, something bad (she should've said something. she should've stopped this. she could've saved him).
melia isn't sure how much time has passed with her laying numbly in bed. it felt like mere seconds and also eternity at the same time. there's a sudden flash of light, followed by the sound of her phone vibrating against the nightstand. it takes a second for her body to respond to her brain trying to make her arm move, reaching out for the device then frowning when she sees the caller id, "soyi?"
"hayoon! oh my god, it's bad... it's so very bad―"
"what? what's―"
"it's dohyun, there's been a huge wreck! people are hurt and..." his sister's voice fades away and so does everything else. it feels like the wind has been knocked out of her and she can't get enough air in her lungs. all she could do was face the horrors of the same thought over and over again.
content warning: gaslighting, violence, emotional and physical abuse, etc. all the makings of a toxic relationship that would probably be defended by some creep that knows the age of consent in various places off the top of their head.
he was everything she wasn't. the stereotypical brooding, 'bad boy'; complete with an old beat up pickup, four-man rock band and the means to provide alcohol to the underage. he was as much charming as he was unconventional; despite his drab appearance, there was a glimmer in his eyes that was playful, inviting even.
she wasn't immune to it.
"what's your name?" he had asked at the party where they first met― one she had organized. he sounded impressed. the place was packed with happily drunken young adults and yet, none were too rowdy. a group of boys even asked her if they could use the pool table downstairs before running off gleefully when she approved.
"my friends call me mel," she answered, keeping it cool though her heart fluttered like the wings of a hummingbird within her ribcage. and why wouldn't she be a bit enticed? here she was at seventeen; it had been a year since she was approved to stop attending academy and go on to study independently (possibly because of the countless challenges and corrections faculty receive from her. as if it were her fault they didn't know how to teach), and she excelled on her own― but being so far ahead meant being so alone. this was the only way she could stay connected, the only way people seemed to see her without that look of judgement or annoyance or, worst of all, pity.
"are we friends?" he had asked. she could see the corner of his mouth threatening to lift and it felt like a rush of adrenaline was coursing through her veins. they were pulling together like magnets and she knows he feels it too. she looked up at him coyly and lifts her cup to her lips.
"we could be, if you like,"
"i think i would like that, mel."
────── 〔✿〕 ──────
six months. six months was all it took for isaac to reveal his true nature, and for melia to have enough. what seemed like a gradual buildup, suddenly sent her hurling towards an inevitable end at terrifying speeds. she knew if she didn't get away, she would end up dead. his bandmates made many attempts to placate him when his frustration with melia reached violent levels, only to become collateral damage by his rage.
"do these look like what i fucking asked for, mel?!" he was everything she wasn't; loud and cruel as he towered over her, throwing the bundle of cables in her direction. she hardly had time to raise her hands in front of her face to block, a sting left on her palms when it made contact.
"hey, man. it was just a mistake—" she hears someone say, only to quickly shut up when isaac turns his rage towards them.
"oh, right. she conveniently makes a stupid 'mistake' on the biggest night of our lives—"
"you didn’t tell me which one you needed," she finally speaks, her voice soft and thick with emotion.
isaac's outburst stopped abruptly, turning so that his gaze falls on her once again. that look he gave her felt heavy as lead and cold as ice. she wanted to fold, wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear until his anger passed and he is softly coaxing her back to a false fantasy that he just lost his temper, that he won't do it again...
he took a step closer, jaw clenched, "what did you say?"
"i said," she took a deep but shaky breath, raising her face so she could lock eyes with him. the entire room was silent, still, as if afraid that any sudden movements might shatter the delicate space they were balanced on. "you didn’t tell me which one you needed. i tried to call and text but you weren’t answering so i just picked the one that—"
"jesus christ. i had a million things to do to prep for this show. i don’t have time to hold your fucking hand all day, everyday."
something about his tone, and his eyes… she swears there's a hint of a different emotion in them than just frustration. something close to amusement, like he found it funny to watch her flinch every time he raised his voice. it snaps something inside of her. something that was the last thing holding her together.
“how was i suppose to know you needed something different?!” with every word, her voice became louder, angrier, borderline hysterical. she snatched the bundle of cables off the ground and shoved them roughly into his chest. “i got the one you always use! i know i did, you fucking piece of sh—“
SMACK!
it took a few seconds for melia to comprehend what had happened. she stumbled back a half-step, holding the left side of her face which was now stinging and hot in pain. her eyes are wide and watering, and mouth was hanging open in stunned silence. in contrast, isaac looked completely unfazed, his hand hand back at his side as if he never hit her at all. for a heartbeat, no one dared to move, not even a breath could be heard in that room.
“you need to calm down, mel. you’re acting insane when you’re not even the one whose career is on the line,” he was strangely indifferent in that moment, holding the cables out for her to take back. she numbly takes them without protest. “return these. i’ll send you a picture of the ones we need since you can’t seem to remember simple instructions.” and he took out his phone, mumbling something under his breath.
then, everything goes red.
to this day, she still isn't quite sure how it happened. one second, she was standing, trembling, furiously fighting back tears; the next, she had isaac pinned to the floor, a flurry of punches and scratches being delivered straight to his face. he was, by no means, a small man but she must have caught him by surprise to have taken him down like that— and judging by the way it took the others a minute to jump into action, they had also been shocked by the events that just unfolded in front of them. by the time she was pulled off of him, her hands were firmly circled around his neck, choking him until he was going red. she had gotten him pretty good, bruises already forming in various places and several angry red lines littered across his face. there was even blood trickling from his brow.
“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” she screamed and fought the entire time one of his bandmates dragged her away and out of the room. there was a small sense of satisfaction to see the damage she had left, watching isaac unsteadily picking himself off the floor while the others check on him and she hurled insult after insult at him. he lifts his head and the fight she had died the moment their eyes met.
her blood ran cold, disconcerted by how he watched her get pulled away— like he was pleased by the outcome. like he had won somehow. a wave of nausea suddenly came over her, and he flashes her an almost playful grin just before the door shut in front of her.
