summary - This is Harry's story of his relationship with an abusive woman.
warnings - ABUSE AND ATTEMPTED MURDER, swearing, my terrible writing, mental health issues
Harry looked at his bruised chest and the new handprint on his face. He had quickly escaped from the rage of his drunk girlfriend in her bathroom. He sat in front of her bathroom mirror and tried to clean up any recent cuts and wounds.
Harry had arrived at her flat and seen her a few too many glasses in and decided to try and stop her. She wasn't having it though. Yelling how he had ruined her evening, that he wasn't funny, and that he didn't deserve his successful career. Harry believed her, he always believed her.
Harry knew she was going through a tough time, she has just lost her job and so Harry was paying for stuff for her. At first, she yelled at him because "you don't think I can handle myself!". Harry had stopped paying out for her until she had told him, "I can't believe you expect me to be able to behave for my food when I can't afford it!".
As punishment, she told Harry he had to sleep on the cold hardwood floor to prove he loved her. Harry did and only slept for an hour because it was the middle of winter and he couldn't sleep without shivering.
Harry stopped going to a night out with the boys after hearing her cry about how he could easily leave her for a more beautiful woman. Harry tried to convince her otherwise but she wouldn't listen, so Harry stayed at home with her.
Harry's friends and family noticed a change in him. From cancelling plans last minute to the slow descends to silence, something about Harry was changing. Harry wasn't himself anymore and no one knew why.
It wasn't until Harry had the police come over to his flat that shit truly hit the fan. Harry had the other Sidemen round to watch a game when the police knocked on the door. Harry immediately opened the door and welcomed them in bringing them both a cup of tea. Harry sat down with his mug as the police spoke.
"We're here because someone has reported your partner." The black-haired one spoke. Harry tensed slightly but nodded.
"We were shown a video of the two of you outside of a club a few nights ago and it appeared that she was punching you." The blonde-haired one said.
Harry felt his grip loosen, and the mug slipped from his hands. He flinched at the sound and started to use his hand to scoop up the pieces.
The black-haired police officer stopped him, telling him that he could harm himself picking glass up like that. Harry nodded obediently, quickly grabbing the cleaning supplies.
As he swept up the glass, Harry let out a shaky laugh, "sorry, it's not every day someone tells you, your girlfriend has been reported."
The officers frowned at Harry.
"Harry, is that video of you real?" The blonde-haired officer asked.
Harry stood for a few seconds, debating outcomes in his head before nodding.
"It's not like she's abusive." Harry jumped. "She just doesn't know how to show love."
"How does she show her love?" The black-haired one asked.
Harry looked down at his hands. "It's not her fault. She has trust issues and doesn't know how to handle affection. She loves me."
"Harry do you have any proof that she has physically harmed you?" The black-haired officer continued.
Harry swallowed thickly and played with the hem of his top.
"Harry, we would appreciate it if you come down to the station with us." Th blonde haired one whispered.
"I can't." Harry choked out. "She's not abusing me."
"Harry, would you like to report her?" The blonde officer asked.
Harry shook his head. "It's just me being overdramatic."
The officers frowned but left a card for Harry just in case before leaving. When Harry returned to his friends, they questioned him. Harry simply shrugged and told them bullshit lies about a neighbour.
Now, as Harry listened to her drunken screams about how he's a worthless sack of shit, he wished he had reported it that day. Harry pulled out his phone and dialled 999. He panicked as someone responded and hung up. He felt himself panic and quickly sent a text to the sidemen group chat.
H - someone calls the police and tell them to come to my girlfriend's flat.
T - On the phone to them, what's going on
H - just tell them to get here quick.
J - Why can't you just call them???
H - if they hear me they'll do something
JJ - Harry what's going on, should we come over
S - Harry me and JJ are on our way over
Harry heard her banging increase on the door and he quickly put his phone away.
"Come out! I love you, Harry!" Her voice rang in Harry's ears. He clamped his hands over her ears to block her out.
Harry jumped up at the sound of a bang on the door. Her foot connected to the door as she tried to kick the door in. Harry pushed himself against the opposite wall. The door burst open and she stumbled in. She sat on Harry's lap and kissed his lips.
"You don't need to be scared of me." She whispered. "I love you."
Harry stared at her in disbelief. Suddenly her fist connected with his cheek.
"That's for being a dickhead!" She yelled at him, fist colliding with his other cheek. After four more punches, Harry slumped to the floor. A bruise was forming on his jaw and his nose was broken, blood pouring steadily out of his nostrils.
But she wasn't finished, she kicked at his head, heels still on. Her foot connected with his ear and all of a sudden he heard a constant ring in his ear as he lost consciousness.
All he knows was that when the police arrived, an ambulance was called and his girlfriend was taken to a holding cell. He knows that his friends showed up. JJ and Simon got there as the ambulance arrived and his other friends arrived at the same time as he was getting carried in by the paramedics.
Harry's family had flown in from Guernsey to support him after Ethan had called them with the news.
When Harry woke up in the hospital bed, he was two things. High on painkillers and embarrassed. He had never thought he'd be in a scenario where he'd end in the hospital. He didn't have a chance to tell anyone what happened because the police walked in and asked to talk to Harry.
"Harry, we know your partner did this to you." The male officer said. "You just need to tell us what happened and we can take her down."
Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "What if they don't believe me?" He asked.
"Harry, there is a small chance they don't. You have us as witnesses, injuries, and chances are she will just confess." The female officer said. "Take a few moments and you can tell us what happened when you're ready."
Harry sighed and looked at his hands. He let out a few tears and started to tell his story. He told the officers that the abuse had only started a few months into their relationship. He noted how it started with small things. "She took money from me because I told her I was going out with friends. She wasn't too happy and when I got home she was drunk and slapped me."
The male officer jotted down notes as the female officer passed him a cup of water. Harry took a sip and looked out the window.
"It started to increase. She shoved my head in the sink to try and drown me. She smashed my TV and my laptop. I left to go away for two nights for my job and she went ballistic. She ripped my clothes to pieces and told me she would cut me to pieces. She locked me in her bedroom with one glass of water for a day and a half. When she let me out, she said I could only eat if I cleaned the flat up. Every time I cleaned something up, she smashed glass to the floor and made me clean it up with my hands." Harry sobs as he shows the officers his hands. When the officers look, they see a large scar across his palm.
"You are doing so well, Harry." The female officer smiled.
Harry took a deep breath and let out another sob. "Can we stop, please? I can't do this anymore."
The officers nodded sympathetically and the male officer said, "Yes, we'll see you soon. Would you like anyone to come in specifically, or are you okay being by yourself?"
"Um, can you send in my friends please?" Harry asked. The officers nodded and walked out and within a few seconds, the Sidemen walked in. They all stood silently for a moment, not knowing how to act around the vulnerable friend.
Ethan eventually spoke first. "We would've bought your phone but they took it. You can borrow my phone though."
Harry huffed out a laugh as Ethan grinned.
Tobi sat on the chair next to Harry and smiled at him. "It was well boring whilst you were out," he said. "Had to listen to JJ."
"Aye!" JJ exclaimed. The men laughed softly.
"You could've told us," Simon whispered after a minute or two which caused Harry to suddenly take interest in his hands. Vik quickly scolded Simon who just continued.
"We would've helped and stopped it before it got too bad." He said. "We noticed something was up but we never talked to you about it."
Harry swallowed thickly as tears filled his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"No, you don't have to feel sorry. She abused you, not the other way round." Vik whispered. "You don't have to be afraid anymore. We're here."
Harry stayed quiet for a few minutes. "Did you see what my injuries were like?" He asked.
"Yeah," JJ stated. "She got a few good punches in man, she'd be a great competition!"
The men were about to scold him but were interrupted by Harry laughing. They smiled.
"She, um, she tried to kill me at one point." Harry sighed. "It was the day before the monopoly shoot and she put my head in the bath and held it down with her foot."
"Fuck Harry. And you came in as nothing had happened." Josh ran a hand through his hair. "You'll probably need to take a few days off and that is fine. We'll tell the audience you're busy whilst you recover."
"I don't want to stop filming." Harry pointed out. "If I stop filming, I'll fall apart."
"But would you want the viewers asking why your face has a fat bruise on it and why your nose is broken?" Vik asked.
"Well, we don't have to tell them." Harry shrugged.
"Harry, I think it's safer if we wait until your trial is over," Simon said softly.
"Trial?" Harry laughed disbelievingly. "I'm not going to trial."
"You might have to, mate," Ethan said. "If she pleads not guilty then you'll have to go to trial."
"I'm not going on trial."
"Mate, if you don't do this then someone else will get hurt by her because you didn't take that chance to lock her up," JJ said sternly.
Harry looked down at his hands. "Get out. Please. I want my mum."
The men wanted to protest but they knew it would distress Harry even more. They nodded and walked silently out the room except for Josh who stopped at the doorway. "We hope you get better soon. Just think about it, okay?" Harry nodded and Josh left the room.
When his family came in, his mum let out an "Oh, my beautiful boy! It's okay now. We're here for you. I never liked that girl." It was true when they had first met Harry's girlfriend, his mum openly told him she wasn't sure about the way she acted.
Harry enjoyed the embrace from his mum, he felt safe in her arms.
Soon enough, Harry was stood in court as she pleaded not guilty. Harry had his parents and friends come along. Harry couldn't help but feel embarrassed about the photos that came up of him laying on the bathroom floor surrounded by blood. The video of her punching him outside a club, and the picture he took of himself after she had attempted to kill him. At one point she laughed at the photo of Harry's injuries. Harry gulped and looked down.
She had got prosecuted for actual bodily harm, attempted murder through drowning, and domestic violence, which resulted in her getting life in prison. When Harry heard the charges he turned to his lawyer and hugged him and let out a sob of joy. Harry didn't feel one hundred per cent better but he felt free.
Of course, news spread quickly because, somehow, someone found out Harry was in court because he was involved in a domestic abuse situation. Word spread quickly and everyone believed Harry was the culprit and beat his girlfriend or some shit. He lost two million subscribers within two days and he crashed.
He told his friends and family not to speak about it until he had a statement out. He quickly took to Twitter to release screenshots of his full statements and the picture of his face after it was beaten.
'Sometimes, you think you know and love a person and then they show their full and evil self. I'm sure, based on the rumours going around, you guys think a similar thing with me. I thought the same about my girlfriend. Turns out she was not as kind and loving as I believed. She would physically, verbally, and financially abuse me. She even went as far as to try and take my life. Now, I won't go into too much detail over what happened. I won't ask for your sympathy or anything, just a small request that you leave my personal life and the people in it alone. Especially my ex-girlfriend's family. They were not the abusers. If you have any respect for me, then you should have even more respect for my friends and family. This may be the only time I speak about this situation and it may not, I just hope you guys can allow me to grow from this time in my life. My friends and family have been so supportive in this painful time and have given me a shoulder to cry on and someone to hold me up when I fall. I want to stress that my family and friends did not know of the abuse because my girlfriend and I were good at hiding it. I know for a fact that if it was a bit more obvious, they would not have hesitated to step in. Chances are, I will appear in Sidemen and other videos but I'll look like a mess so please comment on the video, not the way I look. I want to finish this statement by saying that no one is alone. If you feel like you are being abused, tell anyone. And if you think you are the abusive, help is out there. Violence is not the answer. I love you all and hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for this mess.'
Immediate support flooded in. His subscribers went up and supportive tweets were coming in telling him that he was strong. He trended on Twitter, the phrase 'We Love Harry' was top ten, and his family flooded him with support. Harry was slowly getting better. He had the support of thousands, if not millions, of people, he was finally getting inspiration to post on his channel, and he was talking to a therapist. His life was finally piecing together.
He had his moments. Nightmares plagued his sleep for months, there were days when he would physically harm himself because that's all he knew for the months of his relationship, and sometimes he would ask his friends to hurt him. They knew otherwise. They would come round and Harry would flinch at any sudden movements and he would wait for them to hit him. But instead, he was pulled into a hug and was comforted during his tough time. Shoots would need to be stopped for a couple of minutes when Harry got overwhelmed. And they stopped during physical punishments.
But overall, Harry was getting better. Especially with a group of loving friends and family surrounding him. Step by step, moment by moment, Harry was recovering from a trauma that changed his life. He wasn't suffering alone anymore.
