Wrong From Right (4/4)
Summary: Killian finds himself travelling alone to Houston for check-ups and therapy on his injured hand as Emma, Henry and Alice stay in Lubbock for work and school. But none of them realise just how far Walsh Ozman is willing to go to get what he wants, and what he wants hasn’t changed since the last time they saw him...
Rating: Explicit (Attempted non-con, Graphic descriptions of violence, threat)
Notes: I promise, this fixes everything. Thank you so much for reading this, for sticking with it through all the shit I've put our favourite couple through. Hopefully, I've wrapped everything in a nice little bow for you, and that you think everyone gets what they deserve. A huge, huge thank you to @snowbellewells, I don't think she was expecting it to be quite this long when she agreed to take a look at the first part, but she's been an amazing sounding board, and I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so, so much. Again, the artwork is by me, with a huge thank you to @kaeleemac for the Silver!David manip! It’s so ruggedly wonderful, thanks you! Thank you all for the kudos and the comments throughout this series, they have made the drive to keep writing grow and grow and I can't thank you enough. I hope you're all happy with the final chapter! This is also the longest chapter of the entire series so, have fun...
Taglist: @jrob64 @xhookswenchx @kmomof4 @wefoundloveunderthelight @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @teamhook @jonesfandomfanatic @tiganasummertree @onceratheart18 @karlyfr13s @itsfabianadocarmo @ouatpost @ultraluckycatnd @winterbaby89 @thepirateandhisson @xarandomdreamx @xsajx @captainswan21
As always, please let me know if you would like to be added or taken off, thank you!
Read on the first two parts on AO3: Look Behind You | Unsuspecting Stranger
Read on AO3: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four
- - - - -
Walsh continued to rock his hips into her, murmuring about what he was going to do once Killian got here, how he was going to shoot him, and that all Killian was going to see in his final moments was her, coming on Walsh’s cock.
She wanted to tell him that wasn’t going to happen, that Killian was going to kill him, and if he didn’t, she would.
But she didn’t.
She let him carry on touching her.
She let him thrust against her backside and tease her nipple with the barrel of his gun. Her fists clenched at her sides because she couldn’t let him hurt anyone else. She couldn’t fight any more. She couldn’t make her son an orphan and she should have thought of that sooner. She let it happen.
And then, with an almighty crash, the enormous wooden doors burst open. The bar holding it shut splintered and fell by the wayside as the huge wooden panels shook with the force of the battering ram.
Emma’s eyes snapped open as the women in the benches screamed.
Killian stood in the middle of the open doorway. His expression was thunderous as he took in the scene before him.
“Let her go, Ozman!”
Behind her, Emma felt Walsh move, releasing her, pushing down on her shoulder as he rose to his feet.
“No, I’m going to make you watch as I make her mine! Your last moments will be you realising that you can’t save her!”
“Like hell I can’t!” Killian shouted back, raising his gun to show Walsh he was armed. “How about it, Walsh, one bullet each?”
With a snarl, Walsh raised the gun in his hand, and Emma saw what gun it was. A Glock 26, which she knew only held ten rounds, and he had not reloaded.
She kicked out at him and, in his surprise, he squeezed the trigger just enough that his last shot rang out through the room and embedded itself in the wall.
“NO!” he screamed, and Killian didn’t hesitate.
Emma watched as he squeezed the trigger of his own gun, but he didn’t just do it once. He kept on pulling the trigger, and Emma flinched as she felt the spray of Walsh’s blood hitting her skin.
Killian let the fury pour through him as he kept firing; Walsh’s body not having time to fall as he fired until the bangs became clicks and he watched as Walsh crumpled to the floor, gargling screams filling the room.
He took a couple of steps forward, stopping short when he saw the way Emma was trembling on the floor.
“Swan?” he said, his voice low, careful not to startle her.
“Princess?” Walsh rasped, coughing up blood, reaching for Emma’s leg, bloodied fingers snatching at the hem of her trousers.
With a feral, desperate snarl, she kicked out at him, her heel connecting with his face and breaking his nose. She curled in on herself then, with Ozman no longer touching her, trying to cover herself with her arms, her entire body shaking.
“Emma.”
She flinched, and he thought his heart might break.
“Emma, please look at me,” Killian pleaded.
She dragged her gaze off the floor, and the look in her eyes told him she didn’t believe what she was seeing.
“Killian?” she whispered, her voice a hoarse, timid, squeak.
“It’s alright, Emma, it’s over,” he said, dropping his empty gun and holding out his hand. “I promise, he’s not going to hurt you again.”
She looked over her shoulder at Walsh, who was lying in a pool of his own blood with his breaths becoming shallower and shallower. She looked back at Killian and crawled towards him until she could put her hand in his.
He pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her as she started to sob into his chest.
“I’m here Love, it’s alright,” he whispered, holding her tight. Over the top of her head, he caught Will’s eye, who nodded.
Around them, the SWAT team started escorting the women out of the room, and the paramedics moved in to attend to Felix and Walsh… but within a few moments both bodies were covered with sheets as they waited for body bags. Graham rushed over to Will with a set of keys and let him out.
Even with all that movement around them, Emma and Killian simply stood there and held onto each other.
Emma sobbed so hard her chest hurt as she used his body to shield herself from prying eyes while adjusting her clothing to recover herself.
At least this time none of it was ripped. Not that she’d mind wearing Killian’s jacket again.
She didn’t even have to ask for it.
She froze as his arms released her, clutching at the front of his shirt. But then the gentling tones of his voice settled in her ears, the weight of his jacket settled around her shoulders, his scent enveloping her, soothing her. His arms wrapped around her again and she leaned into him.
“I love you,” she whispered.
Killian smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you too,” he murmured.
This time it was Will’s wrists that needed bandaging by the paramedics, as the other ambulance took Ozman and Foxx straight to the morgue.
Emma had insisted that they check Killian’s hand because of the way he was holding it, even as he insisted he’d just put it through a hard day. So, while they checked her over, Emma sat across Killian’s lap in the back of the ambulance and carefully massaged his hand as the other one stroked her hair, murmuring soothingly every time she flinched at something they did.
It was nearly an hour before Emma let go of Killian long enough to hug her dad. She knew it was hard, no longer being the person she ran to when she was scared or hurting, but he understood and that meant so much.
“I love you, Pumpkin,” he said quietly, and she could tell he was crying.
“I’m okay, Dad, I love you too,” she said as she pulled back.
“Your mother and the kids are at the bar, when you’re ready. We can take them if you need us to…” he said, trailing off as Emma shook her head.
“I need to be with as much of my family as possible tonight,” she said with a soft smile, stepping back as Will came over.
“Emma, I…” he started, but she stopped him with a shake of her head.
“Don’t, please don’t blame yourself,” she said gently as she hugged him. “He’d have killed you too if you’d been in there to start with, because you’d have tried to stop him.” She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. “I would not have survived watching that.”
He nodded and looked down at the floor. Emma knew the guilt was going to plague him for a while, but he would get past it, and she would help him all she could. She did have an idea about how to help him a little more; she just had to talk to someone about it first.
- - - - -
The bar was quiet when they walked in, hand in hand, but soon the low murmur faded to silence, and a beat later that was broken by Henry.
“Mom!” he leapt out of his seat and had little care for obstacles as he ran across the room and threw himself into her arms.
“It’s alright, Kid. I’m safe, we’re all safe now,” she said, hugging him tightly.
Alice’s approach was slower, more cautious, and Emma was worried that she understood more about what had happened today than any of them wanted to admit.
“Emma?” she shifted awkwardly on her feet.
“Come here, Sweetheart,” Emma said, holding her arm out and Alice stepped into her embrace, starting to cry.
Killian stepped up next to Emma and wrapped all three of them in his arms.
They were safe, Walsh was dead, he couldn’t hurt them anymore.
- - - - -
Killian was roused from sleep by the jostling of the mattress; they’d drifted apart as they slept. Emma needed a little more space to sleep comfortably these days, not always, but it was happening more frequently now. Killian didn’t mind; he was happy if she was, as long as she was sleeping soundly.
But tonight, it appeared she wasn’t.
He shivered, realising her thrashing had pulled the sheets half off his body. If the movement hadn’t woken him, that soon would have. But more than the movement or the cold, she was talking in her sleep, her voice soft but the panic and fear in her tone clear. He pushed himself up onto his elbow, not sure if he should reach out and shake her awake or…
“Emma?” he tried gently.
Her mumbled protests grew louder, clearer, and Killian realised she was crying.
“No… Walsh please… leave him alone…” her voice was wrecked with desperation, and it made his heart ache.
“Emma, wake up,” he tried again.
“Get away from them!” she almost shouted, reaching for something he couldn’t see.
Killian had to blink back tears of his own as he shifted closer, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.
“Wake up, Love. You’re safe, I’m here…”
“No… Please…” she sobbed.
Killian didn’t know what she was seeing, what horrific images her head was conjuring, but he could take a pretty good guess.
“Killian, no!” It was croaked, terrified and desperate, and Killian had to shut his eyes for a moment as he fought the anger that surged through him at the thought of what her subconscious was putting her through.
“Emma please, I’m here…” he said, grabbing her wrists as she shifted violently in his arms, holding her tight so that she didn’t hit her arm on the bedside table or headbutt him and knock him out.
Emma tensed, waking up with a start, Killian’s name a frantic plea on her lips.
“It’s alright, Love, I’m here. We’re safe, I promise,” he forced himself to keep his voice low and calm, even as he felt her panicked heartbeat through her chest. “I’ve got you.”
She was breathing deeply, her head swimming with the increased oxygen flooding her brain.
“Killian?” she whispered, a broken echo of the same way she’d said his name in the courtroom almost a month ago.
“I’m here,” he said gently.
She started to tremble in his arms and turned to sob into his chest, her whole body shaking with fear.
With her eyes closed she could still see Walsh threatening her the way he had in her dream, all the threats and promises he’d made coming true before her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered as he stroked her hair.
“It’s alright, love, it was just a dream,” he murmured, letting her cry herself out. Letting the emotions out as he held her, tangible proof that the images from her subconscious were not real.
Emma’s eyes stung from the crying, her lungs ached from the shuddering breaths she was forcing herself to take. Slowly, the panic, fear, and desperation started to fade.
“They’re getting worse, I couldn’t wake up…” she admitted.
“Worse?” he asked, pulling back to look at her, his forehead creased in confusion.
Emma didn’t look up at him, unable to face the concern in his gaze.
“I’ve been waking up before they even really start and going and making hot chocolate until I’ve calmed down, so I didn’t wake you,” she said, her gaze firmly on his chest as her fingers trailed through his chest hair.
“Emma,” Killian said with a sigh. Her admission that she had been keeping this from him hurt, and he finally understood how she had felt when she found out he’d been hiding his pain from her. But he would not get angry about it; he couldn’t push her like that when they were both doing so well with being honest about things normally.
“I’m sorry, I should have said something but…” she finally looked up at him then, and the look on his face made her feel so guilty she dropped her gaze almost immediately.
“But?” he asked gently. He just wanted answers, and to know that she wasn’t going to hide this again, just like she’d wanted from him.
“You’re already dealing with so much and,” she paused and sighed, “I was being stupid, and I should have told you I was struggling,” she said quietly. There was no excuse, not one that she could hope to explain. “I’m such a fucking hypocrite.”
“No, you’re hurting, and you didn’t know what to say,” he reasoned. “Neither of us relish the thought of being vulnerable, even with people we know won’t judge us for it.”
She looked up at him, confusion in her eyes.
“I was so upset when you… and I… I get it now… I’m sorry,” she said, her eyes flooding with tears again.
“Enough, love, please,” he said, cupping her cheek and wiping the tears away. “We’ve both been hurt enough by this, let’s not hurt each other more,” he suggested gently, holding her close.
Emma looked at him, with tears clinging to her eyelashes, and a small smile curled onto her lips. She took a deep breath, and let herself feel his warmth around her, his love radiating in his gaze.
“Okay,” she replied quietly, and tilted her head to bring her lips to his.
It was chaste, and sweet, and Killian pulled back quickly, running his nose along hers with a gentle sigh.
“Stop holding back, please…” she whispered, shifting against him to bring her lips back to his. “I need to feel all of you…” she said, blushing a little.
It wasn’t until then that Killian realised they hadn’t done more than cuddle and exchange soft kisses since the courtroom. He frowned and looked her in the eyes. She hadn’t made any kind of hint that she was unhappy that they hadn’t or expressed a desire to want to… but she’d always been pretty insistent that she knew the difference between Killian and Walsh and how their bodies felt against hers. But he had been the one who’d been stepping away, rather than her. Maybe that hadn’t been helping, maybe he had been holding back when he shouldn’t have.
Killian opened his mouth to speak.
“If you ask if I’m sure, I will be pissed,” she growled.
Kilian grinned. “I wouldn’t dare, Swan,” he promised. For a beat they held each other’s gaze, making an unspoken agreement that they needed to be quiet so as not to wake the kids before he leaned in to kiss her again.
Emma wound her arm around his back, tangling her fingers in his hair as she shifted against him, kissing him harder as her other hand reached down to start pushing their pyjamas out of the way. He helped eagerly, shoving the elastic waist past his ass, as Emma pulled one leg out of her sleep shorts.
His weak hand moved between them, thumb finding her clit, and his fingers slipped through her folds, already slick with her arousal as they speared inside her, causing her to gasp into his mouth. She opened her eyes when she realised which hand he was using and beamed at him before kissing him harder.
Fuck, if using this hand was going to earn him kisses like that…
“I love you, Emma,” he hummed, as he kissed down her neck.
“I love you too,” she replied breathily as her hand found his cock, already well on its way to hard but immediately spurred on by her touch.
He groaned against her neck and slowly rolled his hips, thrusting into her hand.
“Fuck, Emma,” he hissed as she squeezed him.
“I’ve missed this too,” she replied, pulling him up for a kiss by his hair.
He smirked against her lips and kissed her harder.
His shaft was hard and heavy in her hand, the silky skin smooth against her fingers as she moved her hand over it, twisting and squeezing and drawing as many gasps and moans out of him as he was out of her.
“Need you, please,” she murmured against his lips as she hooked her leg over his hip.
“But you haven’t…”
“I don’t care, I need to feel you, please,” she hissed, kissing him hard.
“As you wish, my love,” he said, drawing his hand back and helping her line him up, pulling her body closer and driving his hips up.
Emma bit down on her bottom lip to stifle her cry as he sank into her, not caring about the awkward angle as his thumb returned to her clit. She hooked her leg around the back of his thigh and rolled into him, kissing him hard as she wound her arms around him.
It was quick, and dirty, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t just as loving and caring as every other time. With their breath hot on each other’s faces, tongues dancing and hands caressing, the need to feel each other overtook everything else as they whispered loving words in the darkness, chasing their fears away.
Emma came not long before Kilian, crying out into his mouth, gasping for air when he groaned into hers, his hips stuttering. He stilled inside her, eyes closed and panting for breath.
“Let’s not wait so long next time?” he suggested with a smile.
Emma nodded and just held him close, pressing kisses to his collarbone as his fingers tangled in her hair. Suddenly she held him closer, holding onto him for dear life as emotion overwhelmed her again.
“What is it?” he sounded concerned, and Emma wasn’t sure if she was ready to face what she was feeling yet.
Emma shook her head, tucking her nose into the crook of his neck, fighting against the sudden overwhelming negativity. Fuck, how did she explain this, when his cock was still softening inside her, that she was still scared she was going to wake up and find that her nightmares were the reality?
She shifted, and he slipped out of her.
“I need a minute,” she said quietly, slipping out of his arms and the bed and heading for the bathroom. He heard the water running and sighed as he rolled onto his back.
Emma turned on the light above the mirror and sighed as she looked at her reflection. Part of her didn’t recognise herself. There was a haunted look in her eyes now that she knew had not been there a month ago. Not even when she’d been going through the stress and trauma of Walsh’s first trial. Not after his last bid for freedom and revenge, and she had to wonder what had changed. Could she bear to look at herself that deeply and have a hope of finding out? But she had to, because if she didn’t, how the hell could she even hope to be the woman that Killian had fallen in love with? How could she be the kind of parent that Henry and Alice deserved? If she didn’t try to work this out, she wouldn’t deserve this family, and she certainly wouldn’t be able to face them.
She turned on the tap and grabbed her flannel, dropping her gaze and cleaning herself up, shivering at the temperature of the water. Drying herself off, she pulled her shorts back on properly, washed her face once the water had warmed up a little, and then went back into the bedroom, holding out her flannel to Killian who took it with a smile.
“Thanks, Love.”
She took it back to the bathroom when he was done. Washing it out and setting it on the side to dry, she paused to take one last look in the mirror, giving herself a stern talking to with just the look in her eyes. She switched off the light before walking back to the bed. Killian was resting against the pillows when she returned, having rearranged the covers. She didn’t climb in with him, but sat down on top of the covers, legs crossed as she looked at him.
“I think I need counselling,” she said with a sigh.
“I think that’s a very sensible opinion,” he said, sounding a little reserved about it, but only because he didn't want to push her if it wasn’t right for her.
“It’s helped you, right?” she asked, and Killian noticed the way she fiddled with the hem of her top.
He shifted in bed and took her hands in his, noting how she smiled a little when he linked the fingers of both their hands. “Aye, it has,” he agreed.
“And I think we should encourage Alice to talk to someone too,” she pressed. “I’m worried about her, she’s…”
“There’s something wrong, yes, but I don’t think she’s going to talk to us,” he agreed.
“I think she understands more of what we went through than we’d like,” Emma suggested. “And I don’t want it to haunt her.”
“Like it’s haunting you?” he asked, unable to help his curiosity.
“Yes,” she said simply.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked, his thumb grazing across the back of her hand.
“All the things he said to me that day, all those things he made me say…” her fingers danced across the palm of his injured hand. “The look in his eyes when I did what he wanted… In the end I just… let him do it. In front of a room full of people, I just knelt there and let it happen… I gave up. I’ve never given up before, no matter what he did, and this time I… I stopped believing you would come for me.”
“He was threatening a room full of people, including your best friend, and you survived. Hell, you made him waste his last chance at walking out of there alive…” Killian insisted, hating the fact that she was admitting that she’d given up. For Walsh to have driven her to that, the things he must have said to her, what he must have done in those hours of prolonged torment. “The truth is, Emma, you are the strongest person I know, and I wish I was that strong….” he assured her.
“I think you are… you haven’t given up on this…” she said, her thumb tapping the side of his injured hand.
“Because I could never look you or the kids in the eye if I did…”
“And you think I’m finding that any easier right now?” she asked, and he looked her in the eyes a little surprised.
He hadn’t realised how much she was struggling. How could he not have realised? Had he overestimated her strength? Was he projecting his admiration of her and putting her under pressure to appear okay even if she wasn’t?
“I’ve told you before, Emma, holding it together all the time is exhausting,” he said, his desire to mend any damage he might have done was immediate. “I’m only ever going to ask that you try and keep going, even if you have to drag yourself through the day bawling your eyes out. Let us be there for you…”
“I can’t put that kind of pressure on the kids, Killian,” she resisted the idea.
“I know, but they don’t like you hiding this any more than I do…” he informed her, gently. “If you don’t let them know you might need an extra hug, they can’t help.”
Emma let out a breath of laughter as Killian turned her own words from a few months ago back on her in the kindest way she could imagine.
“I think you’re stronger than me. You never gave up. Not giving up no matter what your reasoning is brave…” She let go of his good hand and threaded her fingers into the hair at the back of his neck. “I am so proud of you, and so are the kids. You wouldn’t have gotten this far without being strong yourself,” she insisted.
“Thank you, Love,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I still feel useless sometimes.”
“And you think I don’t?” she sighed. “I would have given anything to have had a gun on me that day and shot him the moment he got up off the floor.”
“That’s not you, Emma,” Killian said gently.
“And I didn’t think you were an ‘unloading your whole clip into a man’s chest’ kind of guy…”
“You make that sound like a whole lot more bullets than it was,” he said with an amused smile.
“Sixteen more than he had left, and you made every single one count.”
“Always do.”
They sat there in silence, with their foreheads resting together for a while. Both of them were content just to sit and feel the other person there in the moment with them. Demons, for now at least, kept at bay by the other’s presence.
“I think I’m ready to try sleeping again now,” Emma said tentatively.
“Aye, the kids will be up and about as normal for school in a few hours,” Killian replied with a heavy sigh. Reluctantly, he unlaced their fingers and lay back on the mattress.
Emma shifted up the bed and slipped under the covers, tucking herself in beside him and pulling his arms around her. She pressed a kiss to his bare chest and sighed contentedly.
No more running to the kitchen in the middle of the night to drown her fears in hot chocolate.
- - - - -
The truck slowed to a halt, and Emma could hear Killian turning off the engine and getting out, feeling the vehicle rock as he shut his door. His footsteps crunched a little as he made his way around it and opened her door.
“Killian, what is going on?” Emma asked with a giggle as she felt his arm slip around her shoulders and under her knees to lift her out of her seat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him move her around. He helped her plant her feet securely on Terra Firma before taking her hands and guiding her towards the back of the truck, at least she thought that was where he was taking her.
He’d blindfolded her with a cheeky “Trust me, Swan?” once Henry was out of the truck and had headed into the Golden Arrow to spend the day and the following night with Roland and Robin. Emma was normally happy to let her son trail around after Killian’s hired hands at the ranch all weekend and only see him at mealtimes. But with everything that had happened, and Killian telling her they had ‘plans’ that Emma wasn’t privy to, they’d made other arrangements.
“Alright, Love?” Killian asked, dropping her hands and stepping up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist and rest his chin on her shoulder.
Her heart was pounding a little harder than she’d have liked; the anticipation created by the secrecy and the blindfold, and the way it heightened her other senses, meant that she was a little on edge by this point. “Yeah..?” she replied, a little uncertainly, wondering what was in store for them today. “The blindfold is going to need to come off soon,” she admitted.
“Understood, good thing we’re here…” he said, pulling back to untie the blindfold.
Emma blinked at the onslaught of sunlight for a moment, but when the world came back into focus she turned to Killian with narrowed eyes. He was grinning, but at least attempting to look contrite.
“What did you do? Drive around in circles for nearly an hour?” she asked with a playful shove.
“Forty minutes tops…” Killian protested, matching her playfulness with his own reaction, pulling her closer as he let the shove move him a pace or two, his contriteness vanishing when he realised he wasn’t actually in serious trouble. “I had to give Alice and Grace time to make themselves scarce, didn’t I?” he asked with a lascivious waggle of his eyebrows that had Emma rolling her eyes and blushing a little as she smiled.
“So, apart from wasting time on subterfuge, what are we doing that requires Alice and Grace to make themselves scarce?” Emma asked, as her arms slipped around Killian’s waist and she pulled herself closer and looked up at him.
Killian leaned in and pressed his lips to Emma’s with a contented hum. Emma tilted hers to meet his and wondered if he would be amenable to her distracting him from his plans, but then he pulled back with a sigh and a smirk on his lips as he shook his head. It almost seemed as though he knew exactly what she’d been thinking, and probably that he wished he could let her.
“Now, this was just an idea, Swan, so no pressure,” Killian started and Emma’s forehead creased a little in concern. “But I was thinking that you might be a little less nervous during Henry’s riding lessons if you felt less nervous around horses yourself.”
Emma froze, the smile falling from her face as she looked at him like he’d grown an extra head.
“You want me to ride a horse?” she asked incredulously.
“I would like you to consider giving it a go… but going near one would be a start,” he said with an encouraging smile.
“I don’t know, Killian, I…” she paused. She had been on a horse, once, at one of those faire things when she was a kid, and one of her friends had spooked it on purpose as a joke. They hadn’t expected Emma, who hadn’t even managed to get her feet into the stirrups yet, to fall off and break her wrist when it had shied, but she had. Emma had never gone nearer to them than she absolutely had to since that day, and logically she knew it wasn’t the horse’s fault, but the thought of falling and hurting herself like that again was more than she was ready to face.
“Your dad told me about the broken arm, Swan,” Killian said gently, clearly unsure about revealing that particular piece of information as his hand rubbed careful circles up and down her spine.
“Oh he did, did he?” Emma asked, not entirely sure how she felt about Killian knowing about that embarrassing story. But then, her dad didn’t think about that when he told it, and he and Killian had had years to pass this kind of information back and forth…
“Aye, a few years ago now, and I get that must have been terrifying and painful. I hope whoever was responsible for the horse was appropriately chastised for not keeping an eye on things,” he added as his jaw clenched a little at the thought of Emma, or any other getting hurt because of someone’s negligence. “The point is, that not all rides will end with a broken arm,” he finished, his hand still rubbing soothingly at her back.
Emma still felt a little apprehensive, and she looked down at his chest as she chewed on her bottom lip. She did trust Killian, and she trusted that he wouldn’t put her on a horse that he didn’t trust with her, but this was a big fear for her.
“Emma,” he said with a sigh, hooking a finger under her chin. “I wasn’t kidding when I told you that ‘plan C’ was riding out of here on horseback. With everything we’ve been through, I would like that to be an option.”
Emma frowned as she looked at him; that felt a lot like pressure to her. She supposed it was a little weird that she didn’t ride at all, when even her mom had learned the basics. She closed her eyes and leaned her head into his chest, taking in a deep breath, letting his warmth and scent surround her, calm her.
“Sorry, Love, that was uncalled for,” he whispered into her hair.
“But you’re right,” she whispered back, turning her forehead against his neck and relaxing a little. “I would have gone to pieces that day if we’d had to ride out of here.”
“No, you wouldn’t have. You’d have handled it like a champ and freaked out later, but I would have been worried about you managing to stay on the damn horse…” he said with an affectionate smile, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
Emma hugged him a little tighter, and Killian returned it. For a long moment they just stood there holding each other. Until Emma finally sucked in a deep breath and spoke the words that had been building for the last few minutes.
“Okay, let’s do this,” she told him quietly.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to push you to do something you aren’t comfortable with,” he murmured, his fingers moving to tuck her hair behind her ear.
“Like that would ever happen,” Emma scoffed, pulling back to smile up at him with amusement dancing in her eyes.
“Quite right,” Killian replied with a smile, leaning in for another quick kiss. “Shall we?”
Emma nodded and stepped back, slipping her hand into his so that she could walk beside him on the way to the barn. For now she was just focusing on breathing. She could do this. Killian wasn’t going to let her get hurt and he wasn’t going to push her if she started to feel uncomfortable.
But when they walked into the barn, Emma stopped in her tracks when she saw Pirate tacked up and ready to go.
“No.” she said quickly, taking a step back. Ahead of them, Pirate snickered and pulled on his tether as he stepped forward to greet her.
“Emma, I know you and Pirate got off on the wrong foot, but…”
Wrong foot was an understatement.
When Emma had first met Pirate, he’d just escaped his pen and nearly kicked her in the head. It was all an accident, and Emma had never really been in danger of being kicked in the head, but then the next time he’d almost bitten her, and she’d started avoiding him.
“Without Pirate, I wouldn’t be here. He’s really sorry about what happened before, and he just wants to get to know you… Kinda like I did…” Killian said gently, stepping so that his back was to the horse, and looking imploringly at Emma. “I promise, he just wants to be friends,” he added and started walking backwards towards the horse.
Emma let him pull her along with him as he moved, still hesitant, but letting her trust in Killian win out over her trepidation.
Pirate tossed his head as Killian backed up towards him and huffed at the back of his hair when he got close enough. Killian grinned as the horse sniffed his ear, glancing at the dark nose before looking back at Emma and taking another step back.
She felt like she couldn’t breathe, but she took another step towards the horse, tensing when his dark brown eyes focused on her.
“Easy, Swan,” Killian said quietly with a comforting squeeze of his hands. Pirate’s head was now hanging over Killian’s shoulder, and the sight of them together like that caused an unexpected giggle to bubble up out of Emma’s throat.
Pirate tilted his head and huffed at her, and Emma pursed her lips, blushing a little.
“Hi Pirate,” she said quietly, as Killian took another step back, now standing at the horse’s shoulder, his arms extended as far as they would go, and it was now up to Emma to take the last step all on her own. The horse whinnied and tossed his head, and Emma took a deep breath before stepping closer.
The next thing she knew, she was squeezing her eyes shut as Pirate huffed in her face, stamping one of his rear hooves. Killian chuckled and pulled her closer, and Pirate’s lips found her cheek.
The horse tossed his head again, and Emma opened her eyes, offering the back of her hand to Pirate’s nose. He huffed at it and then held still. Emma let the back of her fingers brush down over the velvety nose, a soft smile spreading slowly onto her lips.
“I told you he likes you,” Killian said softly, reaching round with his now free hand to pat the horse on the neck.
“You did…” she agreed, letting her fingers run all the way down Pirate’s nose.
“Ready to get on him?” Killian asked with a smile.
Emma opened her mouth, suddenly unsure, but Pirate stamped a hoof again and nudged her encouragingly.
“So much for no pressure, huh?” She teased with a smile as she looked back at Killian. With a swallow and a nod, she gave Pirate a pat on the cheek and stepped back. “Alright, you’re going to have to remind me how this works…” she said resolutely. She was damn well going to push past this silly illogical fear.
Killian took a step towards her and hooked his fingers under her chin, kissing her solidly and taking her a little by surprise.
She was grinning when he pulled back, but her eyes showed her confusion. Killian shrugged.
“You’re pretty hot when you’re so determined,” he explained.
Emma laughed and leaned in for another kiss. “I’ll be even hotter when I’m up on that horse though, right?”
“Aye, Love,” he said with a salacious grin and guided her round him so that she stood by the saddle with him at the horse’s shoulder.
The stallion was enormous. There was no other way to describe him. Emma’s head barely came up to his withers, and she swallowed nervously as her eyes took in the parts of the saddle she needed to try and grab onto, before frowning at the stirrup, which was definitely too high for her to put her foot into.
“Aye, he’s almost too big for me to ride, but he’s clever and gentler than he looks.” Killian said, taking in the way she was looking at Pirate like a mountain she had to climb. He grinned and knelt down in front of her on one knee, patting his thigh. In times gone by, he would have laced his fingers together and lifted her high enough without a second thought. But while his hand was doing better than anyone could have hoped, he still had to be careful. He couldn’t bear the same kind of weight as before, he had less dexterity still and in the cold it ached.
Emma raised an eyebrow at the position he’d assumed to help her up and grinned.
“Enjoying it down there?” she teased with a smile.
“Get on the horse, Swan,” he said, his voice firm but with a teasing sparkle in his eyes.
Emma took a deep breath and reached up to grip the saddle, using it to support her as she stepped up onto his leg.
From here, she could just about get her foot in the stirrup, and the moment her weight was in it, Killian was standing up and putting his hand on her ass to give her a push. That made her giggle again, and it was only his support and the fact that her chest was already partway over the saddle that had her manage to continue her upward movement and swing her leg over the saddle. She settled herself into the leather, tucking her feet into the stirrups and wrapping her fingers around the reins.
“Couldn’t resist the excuse to grab my ass, huh?” she asked, looking down at him with a smile.
“What can I say, Swan? You do have a particularly delectable one…” he said, leaning in to press a kiss to her thigh as his hand rested over her own tense ones.
Emma’s breath caught in her throat at the way he was looking up at her, the admiration in his eyes, and it was then that she realised she was sitting on the damn horse. Apart from the tension in her hands, she wasn’t panicking and Pirate had barely shifted beneath her. With the laughter and the cheeky comments, Killian had successfully distracted her from the fear that had been churning in her gut less than a minute ago.
She swallowed nervously and offered him a sheepish smile.
“You were right, Love, you are hotter up on that horse,” he said with a smile, his fingers playing up and down the back of her calf.
Emma’s muscles trembled a little in response, and her eyelids fluttered before she shifted in the saddle and adjusted her grip on the reins.
“Are you trying some kind of mental conditioning tactic on me?” she accused with a smile.
“Is it working?” he asked, looking up at her with eyes that were just a little darker with lust, but the smile on his lips was mischievous.
Emma swallowed again, but this time it was less nervous. She could feel the heat building in her gut even from just that look, let alone what his hand was doing to her calf. She knew that if she hopped down off this horse and kissed him right now they’d be locking the ranch office door and fucking on the desk within a minute, but that wasn’t the point of this.
“Just teach me how to ride,” Emma huffed. Killian chuckled and moved to Pirate’s head to untie the lead rope from the stable door. He had to use a special knot that Pirate could not undo himself, as his horse’s Houdini ways had not changed even with Killian’s training.
“Relaxed hands and arms, keep your back straight,” Killian instructed before clicking his tongue at Pirate to get him to start walking.
They headed out of the barn, Emma tightening her core to help her stay upright in the saddle as Killian led them in large circles. Occasionally, Pirate tossed his head, and after a few minutes Emma started to feel a little more comfortable.
Killian spent most of the time grinning up at her with a mixture of pride and satisfaction in his gaze.
“Ready for the next step?” he asked after a while.
Emma chewed on her lip, feeling nerves rolling in her gut again.
“I promise, I’m not going to let anything bad happen,” Killian reassured her.
“Alright, what’s the next step?” she asked.
Killian led the horse over to the fence and tied him to it.
“Wait there, I’ll be right back.” He saw her tense a little, and Pirate tossed his head, snorting. “I’ll just be a minute; he can’t go anywhere,” he promised.
He jogged across the yard and up the steps, grabbing the saddle bag he’d left out and opening the fridge, stuffing all the boxes he’d prepped that morning inside along with a bottle and plastic glasses. He had a grin on his face and hoped that Emma would enjoy what he had planned.
“See, no problem,” he said with a grin, heading over to where Pirate was standing patiently. He secured the saddle bag, unclipped the lead line and then used the fence to climb up behind Emma.
She looked over her shoulder at him with a raised eyebrow.
“There are some advantages to having a horse that can carry more than one person…” he said, shifting right up behind her, moving his arms around her waist and giving her a squeeze before taking the reins out of her hand.
“I thought you were supposed to be teaching me?” she asked.
“I figured I’d let you get comfortable up here first, and besides, if you were steering, I’d have to tell you where we’re going,” he told her cryptically.
Emma sighed and rolled her eyes but let her back settle against his chest as he collected the slack off the reins and guided Pirate out of the yard and into the wilderness.
Emma had to admit there was something uniquely beautiful about this, seeing the terrain from horseback and being pressed so close to Killian without any particular ulterior motive, although that was always a possibility with them. The way the countryside ambled by and she could see a little further and they could make easy jokes and be unconcerned by the time and what else they had to do that day.
It was like some kind of forced relaxation, and as she did so more and more, she realised how much she, and probably Killian, had needed something like this.
Just them, together.
Killian drew Pirate to a halt at the bottom of a rocky slope with a stream running down the side of it. He hopped off the back of the horse, leading him to a tree to tie him up and then gesturing to Emma to get her to hop down.
“What are we doing here?” she asked, curiously.
“Come on, Swan, you’ve trusted me this far,” Killian encouraged.
Emma shot him a playfully dubious look and pulled her feet out of the stirrups, swung her leg back over the horse and pushed herself away as she lowered herself to the ground.
“Alright then, lead the way,” she said with an almost eager smile on her lips. She knew that if he was being this cagey he was a little nervous, but he’d obviously planned this date meticulously.
“Just let me grab this…” he said, unlacing the saddle bag from Pirate’s rump. There was plenty of grass around for him, and he could reach the stream to drink if he wanted to, but Killian didn’t want him wandering off as he might be prone to do, nor did he want him wandering up the hillock to join them.
Emma slipped her hand into his when he was ready, and together they half walked, half climbed up to the summit, and once they were there, Emma looked out at the view and was in awe.
“Wow…” she whispered.
“Yeah,” Killian said from just behind her. Emma glanced back at him to see him rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, having set down the saddlebag by a rock. “This is definitely my favourite view in the world…”
“If you say because I’m in it…” Emma teased with a roll of her eyes.
“Oh, I’d love to hear the end of that sentence, because any view is improved by your presence,” Killian replied quickly, stepping closer again and wrapping his arms around her waist from the side, leaning his forehead against her temple. “But this is one of my favourite places. I come here a lot to… think or… get away from things.”
“Yeah?” she asked, looking back out at the view as he spoke before glancing back at him. “I haven’t noticed you sneaking off recently…” she ventured curiously.
“Because I don’t want to get away from you, Swan,” he said gently. “This place means a lot to me. I’ve worked through a lot here, and I wanted to share this with you.”
Emma smiled softly, her hand moving to his cheek.
“I love you, Killian Jones,” Emma said with a soft smile. She felt him relax against her side, his eyes falling closed, holding her a little tighter.
“I love you too, Emma Nolan,” he replied, his words soft as his breath ghosted across her skin.
Emma turned her head then, and tilted her lips to meet his, turning in his arms as he deepened the kiss. It was languid and full of emotion as they stood there surrounded by the wilderness and the quiet.
After a long moment, they pulled back and Emma’s head settled on his chest as they both looked out at the view.
“Hungry?” Killian asked after a while. “I packed a picnic.”
“You really do think of everything, don’t you?”
“I try,”
There was another serene pause that neither of them felt the need to fill, happy to just stand there and be with each other.
“I missed us having quiet moments without needing to worry, feeling like we could really enjoy them,” he admitted.
Emma smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, I needed this.”
“Aye, Love, me too,” he replied with a smile of his own.
“Yes, I am hungry,” Emma said, stepping out of his arms and heading for the saddlebag and bending over to pick it up. “I want to see what you packed!” she said with excitement.
Killian came up behind her and playfully slapped her on the ass.
Emma straightened up with a mock glare, desire sparking in her eyes.
“All in good time, my love,” Killian promised with a wink and took the saddle bag out of her hands, untying the blanket from it and laying it out on the ground for them.
Emma took the hint and settled herself on the blanket, kicking her boots off and stretching out her toes as Killian pulled boxes and tubs, a bottle and plastic cups from the leather bag. He popped open lids, poured them both a drink and then looked up at her with a grin.
“Help yourself, love,” he told her.
And Emma did. Chips and carrot sticks to dip in hummus, ham sandwiches… honestly the only thing he hadn’t packed were onion rings, but they’d have been cold by now and not very nice.
The conversation while they ate was light, superficial, and easy as they simply sat and enjoyed each other’s company. Light touches as they reached for the same thing, followed by soft chuckles, shifting closer together and leaning against the rock behind them accompanied soft caresses that built into deep kisses and lingering hands on skin, finding their way under clothes.
It was warm, and as they gradually shed their clothing, neither of them was worried about their voices carrying or being overheard.
- - - - -
When they eventually managed to get all their clothes back on they headed back down to find Pirate just where they’d left him, and the ride back was as serene as the one on the way out.
“I’ve been thinking,” Emma said, as they neared the house and barn again. “You don’t need to go to the hospital quite so much any more, and it’s obvious that you and Alice miss being out here.”
Killian hummed in casual agreement.
“I think it’s time we moved out here. I’ve realised I need some time and space that’s really away from work, proper family time. Ya know?”
“I think that is a wonderful idea, Love,” Killian said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder, and she could hear the smile in his voice as well as feel it in the shape of his lips on her skin.
A few minutes later, they were stopping in front of the barn and hopping down from the horse. Together they untacked him and put everything away before Killian turned him into his stall.
“I’ve got one more thing to show you, Swan…” Killian said with a shy smile, taking her hand. Emma knew he’d been nervous about something, but now she could practically feel it vibrating off him. But she held her tongue and let him lead her out back to the round pen, where there was a beautiful palomino horse waiting.
“Did you buy a new horse?” she asked, thoroughly confused.
“Aye, Love, I uh… bought her for you… she arrived this morning,” he confessed.
“Killian…” Emma started, suddenly unsure.
“She’s gentle, intelligent, and if you don’t want to ride her, she’s good breeding stock and someone would pay very good money to use her for dressage,” Killian said quickly, wanting to reassure her.
Emma approached the fence slowly, cautiously.
Immediately the mare tossed her head and snorted before heading over to meet her.
“Hey beautiful girl,” Emma said softly. The horse blew in her face and Emma lifted her hand to stroke her velvety soft nose. “What’s your name, Gorgeous?” she asked.
“Officially, Symphony of the Saviour,” Killian said, coming up behind her. “But her previous owner called her Savvy for short.”
“Savvy girl, huh?” she asked the horse, who tossed her head a little in agreement. Emma giggled lightly.
“You save me, every day, Emma, I wanted to give you something that wasn’t… too much?”
Emma flushed bright red, both at the compliment and because she realised exactly what he meant. “Killian, I’m pretty sure horses are generally more expensive than engagement rings…” she protested with a snort.
“Probably,” he agreed with a smile.
“I love her, thank you,” she said, turning to press a soft kiss to his lips. “But I don’t…”
“Every day with you in my life is a gift, Emma,” he insisted, meaning it from the depths of his soul. He needed her to know how much he appreciated everything she’d done for him, to help him get through the aftermath of his injuries. How much he appreciated knowing that she wasn’t going anywhere. Buying her a horse was a huge commitment, but really it was just testing the waters.
Waters that he was now pretty confident in navigating; when he felt the time was right.
- - - - -
The yard was once again filled with laughter as their friends and family chatted and ate and enjoyed the autumn evening. All her friends had exclaimed over how beautiful her horse was and spent some time in the paddock with her. Emma had blushed and smiled shyly at Killian who’d grinned and gone back to tending the BBQ.
Emma had lunch with Belle last week and hinted that Will was interested if she was, and when Belle had smiled shyly, Emma had suggested she join them. So here she was, and the pair were sitting at one of the tables talking quietly but intensely. She was happy for both of them, and really hoped that they could make it work.
Now though, she stood with Killian, watching the kids running around the now horse free paddock, screaming and laughing and kicking a ball around with Graham and her dad, both of whom had quite a lot to drink. The former had seemed to hit it off with Elsa – who had moved into the apartment at the shelter – earlier, which was interesting. As he’d finished his last beer, David had joked about booking him for being drunk in charge of a pony and her mother had said she’d better drive or they needed to stay in the loft over the barn so the same couldn’t be said about him and his truck.
When the evening wound down, and their guests helped a little with the tidying before heading for their own homes, Killian didn’t have to ask her to stay the night. The house was hers and Henry’s now as much as it had ever belonged to Killian and Alice’s family.
With a smile, she drained the last of her lemonade and, with Alice’s help, went back to clearing up the mess they’d all made. Her hand rested briefly on her stomach, and she couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her lips at the thought of what she was going to tell Killian that night.
Because Emma had found what she’d feared she’d lost when she dropped out of university nine years ago, pregnant, and barely able to face her own parents.
She’d found love, and she’d found home.
She was never going to let it go.
- - - - -
Final Authors Note: No, Krystal, I am not writing a sequel. I don't think you'd survive it if I did... :P
