Jason finding a child that looks like his gay boss in his workshop/room and decides to raise it, after his lover just fucking dissapeared(part one)
(this kinda evolved from an idea based on @neerasrealm ) A child. There was a fucking child in his workshop. How the hell did the child get in here. And why the fuck did it look like Zalgo, but in tiny and annoying. And it cried. Why the fuck did it cry. And why the fuck did Jason know how to deal with a crying baby. Actually he didnt, but after picking the child up and cradling it for a few minutes, it went silent. For a second he hoped it just kinda died, but as he looked at it, it smiled at him. Why the fuck did a child smile at him. And where the actual fuck was Zalgo. The damn god had a lot to explain. He better would come home soon. Jason sighed, shifting the child on his waist. He had no idea what he should do now. The best probably would be to just wait for Zalgo and drink tea. Maybe strangle the infant, if it was too annoying, but who could predict the future? Jason couldnt. After a little preparation, Jason could put the child aside and make himself tea in peace. He then proceeded to just grab a random book, place himself on the couch next to the baby and relax. He quiet enjoyed the peace. For 30 minutes. After that period of time, the damn child started to fucking cry. As he looked to the baby, trying to figure out, what was wrong this time, his eyes lit up a little green. This silented the baby and it stared with big big eyes up to Jason, probably confused. Or exited. Because it started to laugh. What kind of magic man was Jason with children?? The ginger just put the child back down again, thinking about what humans and their offsprings needed to survive. Food. They needed food, just like him. And babys needed to be feed like every two hours. Jason just stared blankly at his tea. If he would have to keep this fucking child, he wouldnt be able to sleep long. “Oh fucking hell. This is horrible.” What did babys even eat? They didnt have teeth yet, so.. Jason got flashbacks from the ‘how to fuck’-lesson from his father. He was m a l e. He couldnt breastfeed a baby. But who could? And if noone could, what should he do then- panic rushed trough Jason. He didnt wanted to have to bury an infant. This couldnt be his legacy. This wouldnt be his legacy. Much to his exitement, a bottle of warm milk just fucking popped up besides him, like something was watching him and decided to gift him mercy. He looked up, shot a quick smile to the roof. Just to be nice and not get set on fire. He didnt wanted to have too much stuff to relate to Natalie and Jane. Another sigh escaped him. He already felt tired. If Zalgo wouldnt come back soon, Jason surely would lit something on fire. Arson seemed to be the perfect answer to everything now. He may should consider getting a therapist. And then sent the bill to Zalgo. After feeding the baby, he just put it down. “You need a name. What in the world even are you? You know, I hope its just a nightmare and I wake up later and you’re not there anymore. That would be perfect.”, Jason waited a few seconds, just for the dramatic effect. Then he looked up the gender of the infant, while trying not to cringe. “You’re a boy... And you look like a really really young Zalgo..”, he needed to think about that. “Fuck it, you’re just gonna be named Zacharias, Zach for short. Why? Because I want non-german and non-israeli speakers to suffer, when you’re going to be older.” Jason then proceeded to smile down on Zacharias, then look at him in absolute disgust as the baby vomited over himself. “This is a fucking joke, right? Are you fucking kidding me?”, Jasons eyes lit up comepletly green. He rememered why he was disgusted by young kids, and terrifyed by teenagers. After cleaning up this mess, searching after baby clothes, not finding any, then proceeding to sew some fitting ones, changing Zacharias’ clothes, and drinking a glass of red wine, Jason was comepletly done with everything. The best part of this was that Zacharias had fallen alseep during the clothes changing. And then Jason fell asleep next to him. (I WANTED IT TO BE LONGER, BUT IM JUST GETTING OUT OF AN BLOCKADE IM SORRYYY- I’ll try to upload the next part tomorrow or at last at wednesday :))