How do you come out as GenderQueer to a parent that is already weirded out by the fact that you came out as Pan? Seriously, I need help with this. Or at least coming out things I can do.

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How do you come out as GenderQueer to a parent that is already weirded out by the fact that you came out as Pan? Seriously, I need help with this. Or at least coming out things I can do.
The one with: Love etc.
Hi! Have you ever loved? Whats your take on it? Do you think one could go through so much heartbreak that they never love again..?
Without getting too personal, I’ll admit that I have a pesky habit of convincing myself I wasn’t as in love as I probably was after things go sour - probably a defense mechanism. I don’t have a ‘take’ on love beyond the fact that it feels damn great when you’re in it.
As for your follow up question: heartbreaks suck but nothing lasts forever. You only never love again if you will yourself to never love again, it’s very much a choice a person makes.
Relationships have a beginning and an end, that’s just the reality of life. The language you use (whether it’s about you or someone else) is extremely dramatic. Someone going through so much heartbreak? This reeks of victim mentality; how about accepting some responsibility in the ending of all, some, or ANY of these relationships? People become hardened when they get hurt, sure - but this romanticized language of being hurt so much you could never think to love again is childish.
Hearts break. Shit hurts. You pick yourself up and move the fuck on.
So sure, you may find it difficult to trust people and you may even end up with another broken heart - but in my experience, the only people who are incapable of love are ones who don’t love themselves.
The one with: Good Oldies
What're some good things to watch if I haven't seen the any series in the past say 10 years?
Here are a few of my favorite older series, in no particular order:
- Weeds
- The Sopranos
- Mad Men
- LOST
- House
- Absolutely Fabulous
There’s a ton of TV to get through, but there are solid choices. Let me know if you enjoy them.
The one with: Buzz Killington
How come your site does not have date stamps for questions asked? or is it just the mobile version? Anyway, I dont need your help, was rather just wondering how that "verbal sparring" went with the dude who was coming to lebanon and asked you out here. verbal sparring? who is he supposed to be? buzz killington is more like it. Another thing, did he try/succeed in getting into ur pants? because thats what ALL OF US WANT REGARDLESS TO WHAT WE CLAIM. no such thing as platonic.. nice blog btw
Thank you! I like the idea of date stamps so I’m going to play around with the settings and try to figure it out.
Verbal sparring guy ended up being all talk and no game, he never contacted me. Or, if he did, it was really subtle and I wasn’t able to connect the dots. I have no idea who he is, actually - I’ve gotten quite a few messages like that and they never step up to the plate.
Also: I don’t know why they think it’s a selling point that they don’t want to get in my pants.
The one with: Your Gross Boyfriend
Dear lama, I've been dating someone for almost six months now and its going great; we have fun, we laugh, were on the same page, and he's a good guy, only one problem; he doesn’t have great hygiene. How can I change this without being mean or rude?? Please advise.
Start having sex with him in the shower.
Or, you know, have some self respect and don’t stay in relationships with someone who literally can’t be bothered to wash his ass. Your choice.
Dear lama, my best friend is a racist & I don't know what to do about it. she always manages to bring race up even when i don't meantion it, sometimes just by saying something about how it smells like black people or something like that. its getting so that i can barely tolerate it wtf should i do?
Yeah, you need to stop being friends with this person immediately. It is never, ever okay to associate with or support racists. This is not a matter of “freedom or speech” - this is straight up racist bullshit. You need to draw the line somewhere in your friendships, and refusing to hang out with racists is a pretty good start.
And don’t write back with some bullshit about how she’s a good person, please.
The one with: Your Scumbag Ex
6 months after breaking up with my now ex-boyfriend, some girl sent me messages that show he was cheating during our relationship. I don't really feel like forwarding them but I also feel like he shouldn't go through thinking he got away with that. Maybe its a lesson he should learn but I'm too lazy to message him. What should I do?
Hmm. What are you trying to achieve? Do you think he’ll say something incredibly profound or apologetic?
The only reason you want to message him is because you think it’ll give you some satisfaction to see him squirm, but fuck him - why should he get to piss you off even after you’ve broken up?
The relationship is over, right? It’s best to just avoid him altogether and move on.
That being said, if you’re really itching to get under his skin and come out on top, go ahead and send him the texts - I’m not the one who has to talk to your dumb ex - but I guarantee you you’ll be sucked into a medley of excuses, stories, and conversations you want no part of.
The one with: Guess Who
I haven't talked to you in a long time. Not because of anything to do with you...I'm just going through a lot of shit. Just saw this cool thing you're doing with all the right answers. Should I call you? (Go easy on me 😀)
I really prefer texts.