WTF Should I Do?

The advice column your mother warned you about!

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: Your Pubes

ok so i hooked up with a guy and i happened to be hmm....not fully shaved and ever since (its been 1 week) he won’t reach out to me. did i lose him because of my ‘”situation?” and how can i get him to contact me?

Oh, honey. It has nothing to do with your pubes. It’s probably the fact that you write at a fourth-grade reading level.  

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: Love etc.

Hi! Have you ever loved? Whats your take on it? Do you think one could go through so much heartbreak that they never love again..?

Without getting too personal, I’ll admit that I have a pesky habit of convincing myself I wasn’t as in love as I probably was after things go sour - probably a defense mechanism. I don’t have a ‘take’ on love beyond the fact that it feels damn great when you’re in it.

As for your follow up question: heartbreaks suck but nothing lasts forever. You only never love again if you will yourself to never love again, it’s very much a choice a person makes. 

Relationships have a beginning and an end, that’s just the reality of life. The language you use (whether it’s about you or someone else) is extremely dramatic. Someone going through so much heartbreak? This reeks of victim mentality; how about accepting some responsibility in the ending of all, some, or ANY of these relationships? People become hardened when they get hurt, sure - but this romanticized language of being hurt so much you could never think to love again is childish.

Hearts break. Shit hurts. You pick yourself up and move the fuck on. 

So sure, you may find it difficult to trust people and you may even end up with another broken heart - but in my experience, the only people who are incapable of love are ones who don’t love themselves.

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: the guy abroad

How do I get a guy I'm interested to notice me properly without being too "in his face". Last time we saw each other, he gave me ridiculous amounts of attention but since then he's been quiet- except for the random snap here and there,it's usually radio silence. Heres the catch, he doesn't live in the same country as me. am i screwed?

Okay, to start backwards: you’re not screwed. I am a huge advocate of long distance relationships, I feel they offer such a different way of getting to know someone. (I think I answered a question about advantages of long distance at some point, browse through some older questions.)

He is obviously going to give you more attention when he’s in closer proximity to your pussy - I’m sorry if that’s difficult to digest, but it’s true. That’s not to say that he wasn’t interested in your personality or in your brain, he very well might have been, but both biology and instinct drive him to act a certain way. You now have the difficult job of finding a way to bypass that instinct and getting him to invest effort in an unknown. 

My simple answer is this: you want a man to be interested in you? Be interesting. You want a man to notice you? Be noticeable without worrying about how “in his face” you are. Nobody feels smothered by messages unless they <i>want</i> to be. 

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: Good Oldies

What're some good things to watch if I haven't seen the any series in the past say 10 years? 

Here are a few of my favorite older series, in no particular order:

- Weeds

- The Sopranos

- Mad Men

- LOST

- House

- Absolutely Fabulous 

There’s a ton of TV to get through, but there are solid choices. Let me know if you enjoy them.

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: Buzz Killington

How come your site does not have date stamps for questions asked? or is it just the mobile version? Anyway, I dont need your help, was rather just wondering how that "verbal sparring" went with the dude who was coming to lebanon and asked you out here. verbal sparring? who is he supposed to be? buzz killington is more like it. Another thing, did he try/succeed in getting into ur pants? because thats what ALL OF US WANT REGARDLESS TO WHAT WE CLAIM. no such thing as platonic.. nice blog btw

Thank you! I like the idea of date stamps so I’m going to play around with the settings and try to figure it out.

Verbal sparring guy ended up being all talk and no game, he never contacted me. Or, if he did, it was really subtle and I wasn’t able to connect the dots. I have no idea who he is, actually - I’ve gotten quite a few messages like that and they never step up to the plate.

Also: I don’t know why they think it’s a selling point that they don’t want to get in my pants. 

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: Your Gross Boyfriend

Dear lama, I've been dating someone for almost six months now and its going great; we have fun, we laugh, were on the same page, and he's a good guy, only one problem; he doesn’t have great hygiene. How can I change this without being  mean or rude?? Please advise.

Start having sex with him in the shower. 

Or, you know, have some self respect and don’t stay in relationships with someone who literally can’t be bothered to wash his ass. Your choice.

[wtfshouldido]

Dear lama, my best friend is a racist & I don't know what to do about it. she always manages to bring race up even when i don't meantion it, sometimes just by saying something about how it smells like black people or something like that. its getting so that i can barely tolerate it wtf should i do?

Yeah, you need to stop being friends with this person immediately. It is never, ever okay to associate with or support racists. This is not a matter of “freedom or speech” - this is straight up racist bullshit.  You need to draw the line somewhere in your friendships, and refusing to hang out with racists is a pretty good start.

And don’t write back with some bullshit about how she’s a good person, please. 

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: Your Scumbag Ex

6 months after breaking up with my now ex-boyfriend, some girl sent me messages that show he was cheating during our relationship. I don't really feel like forwarding them but I also feel like he shouldn't go through thinking he got away with that. Maybe its a lesson he should learn but I'm too lazy to message him. What should I do?

Hmm. What are you trying to achieve? Do you think he’ll say something incredibly profound or apologetic?

The only reason you want to message him is because you think it’ll give you some satisfaction to see him squirm, but fuck him - why should he get to piss you off even after you’ve broken up?

The relationship is over, right? It’s best to just avoid him altogether and move on.

That  being said, if you’re really itching to get under his skin and come out on top, go ahead and send him the texts - I’m not the one who has to talk to your dumb ex - but I guarantee you you’ll be sucked into a medley of excuses, stories, and conversations you want no part of. 

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: Guess Who

I haven't talked to you in a long time. Not because of anything to do with you...I'm just going through a lot of shit. Just saw this cool thing you're doing with all the right answers. Should I call you? (Go easy on me 😀)

I really prefer texts. 

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: Eating Right

Dear Lama, I live alone and can only seem to eat shit when it comes to food. Wtf should I do? Ps. My culinary skills are near zero.

You gotta grow the fuck up booboo. It’s easy to get sucked into a lifestyle of Roadsters and Chex Mix (trust me) but it’s not sustainable. You don’t need culinary skills to follow a recipe, Google simple recipes and start experimenting. Or if you have a ton of cash to spare you can always sign up for those meal plan things where they ship boxes of food to your house, but that’s kind of dumb. 

[wtfshouldido]

There's this writer chick that's so deliciously witty that I'd love to take her out for drinks and mental sparring when I'm back in Lebanon next month. She seems a bit jaded with dudes though, so I'm a bit concerned she'll think I'm trying to get into her pants as opposed to just engaging in some vigorous verbal intercourse. WTF are the chances she'd accept this request via a semi-anonymous posting on her advice column?

I feel so hokey responding to this on the site BUT: I’m in, email me. 

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: your quiet boyfriend

My boyfriend is one of the most incredible and funny people out there. He’s hilarious and charming but only when we’re alone, when we hang out in groups he shuts down and gets quiet. Any ideas?

Your boyfriend hates your friends. Don’t fight me on this, he just doesn’t like them.

And being “hilarious” and “incredible” just to the one person who gives him blowjobs doesn’t make him charming, sorry. 

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: A Moron

Hey lama, all right so my girlfriend has a wild side. Like she gets very passionate when we fight so she sometimes goes overboard on her reaction. i wanna stay with her because she's amazing but how can I get over this? please don't tell us to break up because again, i really love her.

You want to stay with her? Cool. Send me pics when she sets your car on fire. 

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: an asshole

wtf should i do   when dating 2 girls?

Break up with both then kill yourself for being a cheating, lying dick!

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: What You Should Do

Dear Lama, do I: a-go back to post-graduate school (I'm 40) b- find a full time office job (instead of occasional freelance) or c- (insert option)? Thank you!

A if you’re rich. B if you’re broke. C - what the hell do you really want to do? Where do your passions lie?

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: The Wimpy BF

Sorry if this is going to be long but I want to make sure you have the entire story. I’ve been dating this guy for a year now and 4 months into our relationship my father passed away after a battle with cancer. Before my dad died we had agreed to go do our masters together in London so we can live together, and maybe after get engaged or married. For the last two months he has been just hot and cold and not wanting to discuss london at all, he keeps saying he’s not sure anymore, and I never see him as he is with his friends or working all the time. Am I wrong to feel neglected?

First of all, I’m sorry about the loss of your father- I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling.

But second of all, I’m sorry to tell you that your boyfriend is scared to break up with you because your father recently died. Trust me, he’s done - he just doesn’t want to be the asshole who dumps you after such a big loss. That doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person, it just makes him a little emotionally immature.

I’m not saying this to hurt you, but he doesn’t have the balls to do it himself. You can keep going, or you can end it now - do whatever you want, just make sure you’re taking care of your own happiness. Go to London on your own, have that experience; you’ll forget about him the moment you get to Heathrow.

[wtfshouldido]

The one with: My Anger

Why you seem angry and frustrated all the time , I mean besides living in Lebanon .

I’m as giddy as a fucking schoolgirl.