thinking about doors by noah kahan & caliyork again. just. ugh man. like its absurd how well "i was born into a one hundred year storm / foot of ice across vermont, and in that dark / in that frost, a heart was born" fits NY. it plays into the whole NY vs NH fighting over the actual territory of VT, plays into the time pre-CA joining the union, like it describes him to a tee (it'd be remiss to not point out that it fits the other northeastern states as well but this is noah kahan we're talking about. every song he writes is about the northeast)
"you were unsuspecting / not unwarned" i think is an incredible incredible line summing up the beginning of the caliyork relationship. california constantly being surprised by the depth of new york's bitterness/anger/distrust even though new york has made it very clear the type of person he is, and he always has.
the chorus. it's self explanatory really. it applies to both of them
the entire second verse is so incredibly california-coded it drives me up the wall. "have you ever stared directly at the sun? / have you ever shared some closeness / so exposed, to have it spit back by someone?" like thats just the texacali background right there. thats the crux of it. "so forgive me if i jump / at the rattle of your keys, 'oh, are you leaving?' / 'no, babe, i'm just waking up' " like of COURSE california is deeply scared of people leaving him. of course he's incredibly insecure about it and it wrecks his relationships. look at what happened with texas (COUGH COUGH the great divide is such a texacali song COUGH). he chases after every ex begging for just one more night, one more try, please, he'll be better this time. but is he going to do anything to change the parts of himself that drive people away? well no. why the fuck would he do that.
this song it just. drives me crazy. california being interested in new york as a concept/challenge/change of pace. being fully warned of how abrasive and distant new york can be and still being surprised & hurt by it. new york being warned of how fake & desperate & grating california could be and still getting momentarily blinded & caught in his facade. both of them equally struggling to open their doors and let down their guard for different reasons: new york has been a deeply guarded, bitter person his whole life; california has been playing out whatever role will get him what he wants, so he's been hiding behind facades and playing up different acts his whole life. and when they do let down their guard a bit for each other, the other always fucks the moment up. terrible people who have terrible concepts of relationships and what they should/are/can be. but for some reason they keep coming back to each other. who knows why
