You're a secret agent on a mission with Wolffe.
Slow burn.
Will get steamy :)
Word count ~2300
You’ve never seen a clone before. You tried not to stare, which was difficult given how magnificent he was. The way he moved, the way he was tall, the way his shoulders were hugged by his armour that made them appear even wider, the way his hips were pulled down by the heavy kama (and you knew how heavy those things were), everything about him was new, different and exciting. When he turned his face to you you swallowed a silent gasp that wanted to escape your lips. The scar that ran on the right side of his face and right across his eye was dominant - and it made him look scary. But something in the way he was looking at you, the way his mismatched eyes fixated on yours, made you feel safe. His right eye under his scar was artificial, in a beautiful opal colour. His face was full of character and it pulled you in. You realised that you were staring but you couldn’t stop. You were a spy, and you could take any role on, fake any emotion, and say whatever lie someone wanted you to, but for some reason, you felt utterly naked and powerless in the company of this clone.
The first time you were in Wolffe’s presence you had to excuse yourself and head for the refreshers. Plo Koon realised that something was wrong, and you knew that he did. Of course he did. You knew you’d had to explain yourself to him sooner or later. But first, you had to explain to yourself what exactly was happening and causing that reaction.
It would be the first time you’d work closely with a clone. Your work always took place far away from the battlefield, and unfortunately, that was the only place one could meet clones. You always felt... conflicted about that. You never said that to anyone. Your dedication to the Republic was unquestionable, but even you could see that the way wars were fought left little room for either side to be playing fair. You didn't agree with many of the methods the Republic adopted in their strategies, but you understood your position as a soldier - your role was not to question things - not aloud anyway. Your role was to follow orders.
Following a trail of money transactions brought you to a faraway planet in the Outer Rim. Your primary target was a bar owner by the name Trixx, who was a suspected smuggler who supplied the Seps with black market weapons. You were hired to work behind the bar and keep your eyes wide open - and report to Wolffe every day.
You were clear on the assignment, but talking to Commander Wolffe every day made you nervous. And you couldn’t figure out why. He was intimidating, for sure, but not in a bad, threatening way. Not to you anyway. He didn’t smile when you met, but despite his intimidating features, you could swear that there was something warm in his eyes as he laid them so firmly on you.
The bar was sleazy, but you’ve seen worse. The first weeks passed and nothing much happened. Trixx would come in and out, and would rarely stay longer, or long enough for you to try to get closer to him. You were one of the many women behind the bar, and for a while, he didn’t even notice you.
Every night you would walk to your temporary apartment after your shift. It was close to the bar, and you’d walk together with another woman who lived in the building complex just behind yours. You’d enter the apartment and feel tiredness wash over you, but you’d always finish your rapport to Wolffe before you went to bed. Your rapports were usually short in those early days - you’d rapport on the other people who worked in the bar and if anything was said or happened out of the ordinary - or something that seemed that way. On those rare occasions Trixx showed up you’d rapport on his every movement - your memory was good like that. You managed to follow his every step while serving drinks and smiling politely.
Wolffe never really answered and you didn’t expect him to do so anyway. You could see that your report was received and read, and that was enough. You often lied in bed at night after you’d send that rapport imagining him opening it and his mismatched eyes on it. Reading it and analysing it. You imagined him imaging you in that bar, following Trixx’s movements. You wondered if he ever thought about how you were doing. How you were coping with being alone in that secret apartment, that sleazy bar, not really being allowed to get to close to anyone. Your thoughts would sometimes take you too far, and you’d have to stop yourself.
Of course he wasn’t thinking about me that way. He was out there, somewhere, on the battlefield, risking his life and the lives of his men, fighting for our cause. There was no place for thoughts like that. We are soldiers. I should know better.
You’d fall asleep often feeling guilty for even having thoughts like that, but somehow night after night, those thoughts about Wolffe returned and tortured you. It was a vicious circle.
One night as you were finishing your shift after a particularly busy night at the bar, Trixx walked in. You noticed him immediately. He wasn’t alone. Two men you’ve never seen before followed him in. The way they entered told you that they waited for the bar to empty as they wanted some privacy. They sat at the corner table and resumed their talks, not paying attention to you or anything else. You knew that you had to come closer and you approached their table, planning to ask them if they’d like anything to drink. As you came closer you heard the words ‘E-web’ and ‘9 in the morning at the docks’ when someone grabbed your wrist. Before you could even understand what happened, you heard Trixx’s voice:
“Anything we can help you with?”- his voice was deep and sour, and he was almost slurring his words, but his expression was undoubtable. He narrowed his eyes and lowered his eyebrows, and his mouth formed a thin very firm line.
“Who told you you could sneak up on me like that?” - he asked, not letting go of your wrist.
You had training all of your life and you could have handled an unpleasant idiot like him without a problem. Trixx, as evil and uninviting as his features were, was not particularly intimidating - he was thin and tall, and his face was covered with wrinkles. But you had to play your part, and you acted scared. He could see the fear in your eyes as you unsuccessfully tried to free your wrist from his grip:
“I…I… just wanted to hear if you wanted something to drink. I’m sorry….” - your voice was low and your eyes unfocused, and you could sense him easing in and enjoying his dominance. What he couldn’t see in his shallowness, was the fact that you managed to scan the table, and all three men sitting at it. Their faces and features were now deeply engraved in your photographic memory as Trixx’s lips widened into an evil grin and he relaxed his fingers around your wrist.
“Well… since you’re new I guess I’ll give you a pass.” - he said and looked at the other two men, as if expecting that they’ll be impressed. “But also since you’re here, bring us three whiskeys. The good kind.” He released your wrist and pushed you slightly towards the bar, and you hurried back.
You came back carrying three glasses of the best whiskey and put it on the table, first in front of Trixx and then in front of the two others. The others were sitting in their heavy coats and never once did they bothered to look at you. One of them was holding a datapad and he seemed preoccupied with its contents.
You saw that Trixx’s eyes were on you and you once again pretended to be scared and intimidated - as you were putting the last glass on the table you made your hand tremble slightly. That seemed to spur him on, and you knew it would.
“Come over here” - he said all of a sudden.
You took a few steps towards him, still playing the role of a scared woman.
“What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Annabelle” - that was one of the first aliases you’ve ever used and the one that was particularly dear to you.
“ Annabelle” - he repeated, slurring his speech once again. “ Such a pretty name. Such a pretty girl. How long have you been working here?”
“Couple of weeks” - you said, eyes glued to the floor, the way that the contents of the man’s datapad were in your peripheral view.
“How come I never noticed you before? A pretty girl like that” - his grin was now hovering on his face and you finally met his eyes, after you were sure you got everything you needed from the datapad.
“I don’t know. Maybe you weren’t paying enough attention.”
He liked that. You knew he would. You knew exactly how to deal with types like him and how to fire their imagination. And once you did that, you could shape them however you wanted. You dealt with more complicated types than Trixx - he seemed like a piece of cake.
“Tell you what, sweet face” - he took your hand and interlaced his fingers in yours, and you took a mental note that he would have to pay for that and for grabbing your wrist sooner or later - “ I am noticing you now. What do you say you and me get some alone time tomorrow evening? I have some business with these gentlemen tonight, and I can’t ignore them any further. But tomorrow, I’m all yours”
He was gross, but you were above that. You had a job to do, and you knew that you could handle him. But tonight, he needed to be under the impression that you are a harmless, unimportant waitress who is happy and flattered that the big boss noticed her. So you smiled, not too much but enough so that he could see that you were desperate for his attention, and he showed you to go back to the bar.
They stayed for an hour or so, and you closed the bar after them. Once you arrived back at the apartment, you opened the holovid and put Wolffe’s code in. You pressed audio record:
“Commander Wolffe. I’ve established a contact tonight. The main target with two men, both middle-aged, dark-haired and with similar features, Likely brothers. I have memorised their features and I will be able to identify them in the Republic’s main database. These men were buying guns, and I have seen the number of a bank account that - I am assuming - the money will be transferred to. I have heard that they mentioned docks and 9 in the morning, however, I was not able to hear which docs exactly, or precise date. However, I am transmitting the bank account number to you, and I think if we start following the money that we will be able to reach them before the guns do. Trixx has now also properly taken notice of me, and I have successfully managed to make him believe that I am flattered by his attention, so I am certain that I will not lack his attention from now on. In fact, he has now hinted that he is ‘all mine tomorrow’ so I am expecting to spend some time with him tomorrow, and get closer to him and possibly win his trust. Annabelle over”
You pressed send and you went to the refresher, and let the warm water run over you for a while. You weren’t bothered by the role you had to play for Trixx, since you had a clear end goal in your mind. The ends have justified the means. Limiting black market sales of illegal weapons will considerably help the Republic on the battlefront, and that will automatically mean - fewer casualties. And casualties were - clones. You thought of all the clones who laid down their lives in hundreds, sometimes even thousands, every day, at any given moment on some corner of the galaxy. You thought of…. Wolffe. His battalion. You did all of this for them. You were all soldiers. Fighting your own battles. But fighting for each other. If you could stop even one single gun reaching the hands of those who will fire at a clone, your sacrifice - whatever it might entail - would be justified. That’s what being a soldier meant to you.
You stepped out from the refresher and wrapped a soft towel around you. As you walked towards your bedroom, you saw that your holovid was blinking. You’ve never seen that that thing blink since you arrived there - no one was supposed to contact you there, in fact, no one even had your code, except…..Wolffe.
You froze for a moment, and then slowly walked towards it. You looked at the blinking red light for a while, and slowly - as if disarming a ticking bomb, you pressed the button to play the message.
“Annabelle” - a deep, husky voice filled your room. Your knees felt weak all of a sudden and you had to sit down.
“Very good job. I have asked to be transferred there, due to the impending transaction you managed to discover - we have checked that bank account and we know who we’re dealing with. I will update you more once I arrive there. I will send you my coordinates. Be careful in the meantime. Wolffe over”
You hadn’t had a drop of alcohol that night but the room was spinning around you all of a sudden. A woman who could keep her head cool in any dangerous situation, completely disarmed just by the sound of a man’s voice. And the thought that he will be there soon, close to you, those eyes on you and that presence around you, made your heart beat faster than you could recall any situation or any man has done before.
Warnings: SMUT, 18+, PiV intercourse, angst, tears, feelings, so many feelings.
Word count: 4,9k
It all led to this...
“Oh!”
Did he just say that?
Oh!
“ I thought that was something we didn’t talk about” - you said, avoiding his gaze and looking around the room, feeling your cheeks blush.
He gently touched your chin and lifted your head searching for your eyes:
“You don’t think it’s… significant?” - his face was now warm, but serious.
“No, it’s not that… it’s just… well… you didn’t say anything afterwards, and…and I just thought you were trying to spare my feelings and not mention it…”
“Spare your feelings of what? - he looked genuinely perplexed.
“Of embarrassment. I kind of ambushed you with that kiss… I’m sorry about that, by the way! I’m not sure I know what came over me…but I shouldn’t have done it, not then and not there! Not like that!” - you tried to avert your gaze once again, but his grip on your chin was now firmer as he stepped even closer to you, his eyes firmly on you. He didn’t say anything for a while, and you wondered what went on in his head.
“Do you believe in parallel universes?” - he finally asked. The look on his face was still difficult to read.
“What?”
“Do you think there are countless parallel multiverses where this has happened, me and you, on this mission, together, but with different outcomes?”
“I…I don’t know. I never really thought of that.”
“Well, think about it. Perhaps in one of those universes, Kobalt got away. Perhaps in some Trixx did. Perhaps in others, I never killed that bodyguard. You never kissed me. Perhaps in some, we didn’t get along at all, to begin with anyway. In others, you never copied that data from Trixx’ datapad and the weapon sale went through. Perhaps somewhere he succeeded in attacking you.”
You shifted from one leg to another. The thought of that made you uncomfortable. He noticed you frown and he moved his face closer to yours, looking for your full attention.
“But do you really think there exists a universe where I wouldn’t have kissed you tonight, cyar’ika?”
His face was now so close to yours that you could feel his breath on your lips. Your heart skipped a beat. In fact, it felt like it stopped beating all together. Everything around you seemed to have slowed down, for all that mattered, all that still was in real-time was Wolffe, right next to you, holding your chin, his eyes piercing through yours:
“No matter what has happened before and what will happen after tonight, I was just waiting for the mission to end, and to get a moment alone with you. And at that moment… “ - his lips came so close to your left ear that you felt a shiver through your whole body, “At that moment, I was always going to make you mine! ” - he whispered.
You closed your eyes and leaned into him, as he gently placed a kiss right under your ear. A shiver turned into electricity that ran through your whole body as he dragged his lips along your chin, leaving a trail of light kisses.
“Do you understand now?” - he whispered. “There was always only one possible ending to this, cyar’ika.”
“Yes!” - you said, not opening your eyes, leaning into him.
A warmth washed over your body and you felt it spread from your core to your face, as he put his other hand on your waist, pulling you towards him. Your bodies were now pressed firmly together and you could feel him breathe, his chest rising and his hot breath on your neck. Everything felt almost surreal - you wanted this from the moment you saw him, even though you didn’t want to admit it. But in those moments of weakness, when you lied in your bed in silence and listened to Wolffe breathe in the next room, you let your mind wander and you imagined how this would feel. What Wolffe’s touch would feel like against your skin, what Wolffe’s lips would do to your neck. Thoughts like these became your comfort, your happy place. But at the same time, they tormented you since you thought they were unrealistic and dangerous. You thought they might hurt you, that they might deepen your feelings for Wolffe which would make parting from him impossibly difficult.
None of that mattered now. Now that he held you, now that his hands were wrapped around you, and now that his lips repeatedly touched the skin between your ear and your neck, which triggered your arousal to the heights you’ve never felt before. Your legs were now shaking and your head was spinning. He held you so gently as if he was worried he might break you, and you realised that he himself didn’t want to rush anything, but at the same time couldn’t help himself and keep away from you. You felt that he waited for this moment too, you felt that he thought of it, in the way he was almost indecisive now, not knowing where to touch you first, which part of your neck to kiss, and how close to pull you towards himself. It felt like he wanted to do everything, and was trying to do almost nothing and give you time to feel and come to terms with his lust for you.
But you’d be going home tomorrow. Home, that strange concept. Neither of you had a home. The home was lost for you both if a definition of a home was a place that you knew and loved, a place that gave you comfort. All the places have lost that ability in your lives, and being in each others’ arms felt more like home than anything else had for a long time.
Wolffe was my home. This security, this comfort. I haven’t felt this way since I was a little girl.
The moment his lips finally touched yours was the moment you both knew what this meant. It really didn’t matter what would come tomorrow, or what came before. Your mind became completely blank, wiped of all worries, memories, thoughts or fears. His fingers tangled in your hair, and your arms wrapped around his neck. He kissed you slowly like you had all the time in the world. Moments like this were moments that would last forever, so he took his time, gently planting his lips on yours, asking for more, wanting more, teasing you, inviting you, till his tongue tangled up with yours and his kiss deepened, almost draining you of all air.
“I want you!” - Wolffe managed to whisper, almost out of breath as he moved his lips from yours, his forehead resting on your, his eyes now closed. You could feel a slight tremor in his arms around you, making you realise that he was starting to struggle with his own desire for you. His voice was authoritative, but at the same time soft, laced with lust. And his swollen, painfully hard dick, now firmly pressed against your stomach was telling just how much he meant it.
All you did was nod - all you could do is nod - and you were already in his arms, lifted effortlessly and carried to the bedroom. You threw your arms around him, and you held him close, kissing his cheek, your fingers playing with his thick hair.
“I want you so bad, Annabelle” - he kept repeating as he put you down, and unzipped your dress, slipping both straps off of your shoulders.
He planted a trail of kisses along your shoulder and up your neck as you felt your dress slip and reveal your breasts. His hands were immediately on you, gently palming both of your breasts, his fingers pinching the sensitive skin of your nipples as you moaned right next to his ear:
“Wolffe, please…” -
“What do you want, cyar’ika? - he whispered, his hot breath first on your collarbone, and then moving onto your breasts.
You felt his lips wrap around your firm nipple, and you moaned, feeling how much he was trying to hold back, his voice now almost shaky and his fingers digging deeper into your skin, almost uncontrollably, and his tongue insatiable. He was losing control and composure, and you could feel it in the way his body reacted to your words.
“T-take me, Wolffe. Maker, I want you so bad! ” - you managed to say and his lips were back on yours, his kiss sucking all the air out of your lungs and his hands pulling your dress down, leaving you only in your underwear. You slid your hand up to loop it around his neck, pulling him closer, and moaning as you felt his thick hardness rubbing against you. He laid you gently on the bed, his heavy body now pressing yours, making it almost impossible for you to breathe. You gasped into his mouth and he moved and shifted his weight onto his underarms, leaving more space between you, but you pulled him back. He was fully clothed and you wanted to feel his bare skin on yours, so your hands reached for the bottom of his shirt. He reached back and helped you, pulling his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. You managed to catch a sight of his sculpted torso and it almost took your breath away and the next moment he was back on you, not able to keep his lips from yours.
He was warm, his body flushed as he was breathing heavy, and you could feel him holding back and not wanting to pressure you. He was hard, Maker, painfully hard against your stomach, you could felt him throb and twitch every time your teeth bit his lower lip, every time your hand ran up and down his back, you could feel his desire rising, swelling against you, his whole body stiffening and trembling like he was completely losing control over it.
He pushed his thigh between your legs and you rolled your hips instinctively, instantly moaning from the pleasure that brought you. He felt it and put more pressure on your core, but it wasn’t enough, you wanted him, you wanted him inside you, right away!
“Wolffe!
“Yes?”
“I want you to fuck me now, baby! Please! NOW!” - you almost couldn’t recognise your own voice or your own actions. There was no holding back anymore. As soon as you said that, you started pulling his pants down, and he helped you do it. Your hands found their way inside, on the velvet skin of his rock hard dick, begging to be released, almost burning hot, damp, and slicked with the precum that was leaking for a while. Wolffe almost growled into your kiss, as he quickly slipped his pants off and he was back on you, ripping your panties effortlessly off of you, your legs spreading beneath him, inviting him, begging him to enter you.
Please…
“You’re so wet, cyar’ika” - he said, his fingers moving between your folds, gathering all the slick that was now literally dripping out of your pussy and bringing it to his mouth, licking every last drop.
“..and even sweeter than I imagined”
You could feel his warm dick twitch once again against your inner thigh, and none of you could wait anymore. He guided his tip against your entrance, gently brushing your clit on the way and you moaned as he slowly pressed inside you giving you time to get used to him, but you moved impatiently, impaling yourself on his rock hard dick, gasping into his ear, calling his name and twisting your back, finding that angle that would allow him to enter you completely, not leaving any space between you. Once he was inside you he lifted his head and found your eyes, leaning his forehead onto yours. You were two people possessed, not in control of your bodies anymore - your bodies took over the last ounce of self control your minds possessed. The two bodies started dancing, moving in sync with each other, like two long lost entities that finally found each other, and that now were made whole.
His first few thrusts were gentle and slow, and you could feel him drag in your pussy, almost feeling every ridge, every vein on his hard dick. He was reaching that sensitive spot in you, teasing it slowly first and then speeding up his movements, holding your hips tight, the sound of your wetness against his every thrust filling the room. You felt the warmth move from your core up to your face, and your release building up deep inside.
“Wolffe, don’t stop, I’m s-so close, I’m-I’m g-gonna….” - - you managed to stammer.
“I know, cyar’ika, I can feel it.” - he whispered and planted a kiss on your temple. “Let go for me, mesh’la. Let go of everything, I’ve got you!” - he said, almost breathless.
Wolffe was now rough, but he could feel you wanted it this way, all your bottled up feelings for each other had to come out like this, passionately and urgently. You were both panting, beads of sweat gathering on your forehead, as he continued his relentless pace, holding you tight, his cock brushing against all those sensitive spots deep inside you. You could feel him in places you didn’t think were possible, as the warmth started spreading over your whole body. His finger gently touched your clit, circling around it first and then rolling your swollen bud between his fingers, and you were done. You threw your head back and let the warmth wash over you, all your nerve endings reacting at the same time and all your muscles contracting and relaxing almost simultaneously. You felt your body leave your mind once again, and you became weightless, floating around the room, until you felt Wolffe’s strong arms on your hips, holding you, pulling you down, bringing you back from your high and back to reality.
“Wolffe!”- you panted as you opened your eyes. You repeated his name almost like a chant, over and over again, your mind almost blank of any other words or any other emotion. He was everything at that moment, he was every feeling, every man, everything you ever needed.
You hugged him close, so close, pulled him towards you, and he buried his face between your shoulder and your neck. He was panting, and you could feel the sweat on his chest mixing with your own, while his dick was twitching so hard inside you that you could feel he was close himself.
“What’s your name?” - he suddenly whispered in your ear, his voice shaky.
“What?” - you opened your eyes and felt as if someone just woke you up after a long sleep.
“Your real name, cyar’ika! I know it’s not Annabelle.” - his voice was now authoritative again, demanding and firm.
You froze. It was rule number one in the academy - no one could know your real name. And no one ever did, not even the instructors who trained you. Over the years, you took over so many different identities, pretended to be so many different people, faked so many emotions, that your name, your real name became your only anchor, grounding you, helping you to not drift away. It became your marker, the one you used not to lose yourself in other names and other personalities. And you became extremely protective of it. It was the one thing that was yours and only yours. Precious. And as long as you took good care of it, as long as you protected it from everyone, from the outside world, you knew you’d be okay. You knew who you were. And you never felt the need to give it to anyone. No one ever felt worthy.
“I want to say your name when I cum, ad’ika. And I want it to be your name. I want it to be you. The real you!” - Wolffe’s hot breath was right next to your ear.
There was no doubt in your mind. If there ever even was it was wiped away by this extraordinary man, who held you in his arms, who had you, completely and in every way, and who time after time proved how worthy he was.
“Na…. ia” - you said quietly, the word almost choking you and not coming out properly. You took his head in your hands and found his eyes. You wanted him to hear you loud and clear.
“Naia” - you repeated and it felt surreal. “It’s Naia!” - You wanted to say it again and again. You wanted to make sure he heard it. You wanted to make sure he never forgot it.
My name is Naia, Wolffe! And only you get to know that.
“I’ve never told that to anyone before!” - you said, and Wolffe stopped his thrusts for a moment to acknowledge the weight of the moment. You felt strangely proud of yourself at that moment, as you felt him place a trail of gentle kisses just under your ear.
“I’m glad you told me, ad’ika!”
As if that word, your name, was the last thing he needed, the last piece of the puzzle to fit into the perfect picture, he seated himself deep inside you and sank his teeth at the base of your neck. You felt that his thrusts now reached even deeper inside you, your pussy now ruined, ruined for anyone else ever again. It belonged to him, now and forever. You had never been so full and the sensation of him stretching you more and more with every thrust was almost too much - in a most wonderful way! His cock twitched against your walls one final time, and his whole body, all of his muscles stiffened in a moment as you held him. You felt a growl form in his lower stomach, move through his whole body, and come out loudly, deep into the base of your neck, as his hot release spilled into you with every heavy, now slower thrust.
“Naia!” - Wolffe repeated your name again and again, as he slowed completely down, still deep inside you, but now almost out of breath. You could feel his heavy breaths on the sweaty skin on your neck, and you gently caressed his back as he was coming down from his high. He lifted his head and looked at you, whispered ‘Naia’ one more time, and you gently kissed him, his lips welcoming yours and deepening the kiss, his tongue finding yours, exploring your mouth, once again. You couldn’t really pull away from each other, kissing each other hard and deep, your fingers intertwining.
When he finally moved his lips from yours you felt every emotion you’ve ever had fill your thoughts and completely wash over you. Suddenly the idea of Wolffe ever leaving and moving away from you seemed unbearable, and you felt tears filling your eyes. He noticed immediately:
“Hey, hey, hey, Naia, what’s wrong?” - he pulled slowly out, and even though you could still feel his hot release deep inside you, the emptiness that he left made you even sadder. Tears now rolled from your eyes, and you were no more in control of your emotions. Wolffe saw that, and quickly wrapped an arm around your back and pulled you to sit in his lap as you buried your face at the base of his neck.
“Shhhh, mesh’la, shhh, it’s okay” - he kept repeating as your sobs overtook your body. He held you close and kept kissing your forehead and caressing your hair.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry Wolffe, I’m not normally like this” - you said, not lifting your head, but inhaling his sweet scent, mixed with his sweat, as you tried to speak through your sobs.
“It’s okay, you let it all out, Naia. I’m here, I’ve got you.” - he whispered in your ear. Every time he said your name you felt like you wanted to cry even more. You couldn’t even remember the last time someone said your name to you, and the sound of it now made you even more melancholic.
“I’m just overwhelmed, Wolffe…” - you finally said, as you managed to lift your head and find his eyes. His cheeks were now flushed, and his hair was messy, but that warm look in his mismatched eyes was there, unmistakably his. Unique! It was incredible how much that look already came to mean to you. Your home!
“I know, mesh’la, I am too!” - he whispered in your ear, as he held you close to him, and planted light kisses on your forehead.
“I’m not usually like this”, you said, regaining control over your voice again, “it’s just.. it’s just, this, you, my name… it’s been so long…”
“You don’t have to explain, I understand.. It’s been a rough couple of days, I know.”
“Yes, and then… there’s you, Wolffe!” - you said and looked him firmly in the eyes. Your emotions were now slightly under your control again, and ready, ready for you to surrender them to him, completely and unconditionally.
“What about me?” - he looked almost concerned for a second.
“I wanted this for so long, even though I didn’t want to admit it to myself. It was a secret I tried to keep even from myself. I thought I was being unprofessional, having thoughts like these. But, Maker, I wanted you. Every moment of every day since I laid my eyes on you…sorry! I know how I sound!” - you stopped yourself and smiled.
He smiled back, that smile that made every atom of your body tremble.
“Sounds familiar!”
"What do you mean?”
“Well, how do you think I felt having to sleep under the same roof as you, night after night, knowing you’re in the bedroom next door, half-naked. I thought I’d go insane. Every night I’d woke up, drenched in sweat… and something else…”
Your eyes widened:
“No!” - you smiled, feeling your drying tears reach your lips. Wolffe gently wiped them and smiled back.
“Wet dreams every night, mesh’la. Every night. Dreams of you, of you and me. They tormented me.… And I’d wake up, go to the refresher, and hear you breathe in the next room. I checked up on you, every time, and you always looked so peaceful, almost angelic… I couldn’t take my eyes off you..”
“Wolffe…” - you put your head back on his shoulder.
“Yes, mesh’la?"
“What’s going to happen now? What are we going to do?”
“What do you mean?” - he said, as he caressed your arm.
“I mean tomorrow, the day after… do you even know where you are going after tomorrow?”
“Back to the front. Corellia. Master Plo is heading there tomorrow as well, and my squad is there already.”
“That’s so far from Coruscant!”
“That’s where you’ll be?”
“Yes. For some time anyway. I have to help train the new agents, so I’ll stay there for a while this time.”
“That sounds nice. Peaceful. Do you like doing that? Training? - he said as he kept kissing you between his questions, wherever his mouth could reach, your temple, cheek, ear, chin…
“I guess so. But what about you, Wolffe?” - you lifted your head and found his eyes.
“What about me?”
“How will I ever be able to function normally ever again, if you are far away? Fighting a war! How will I know you’re okay?”
“Oh, cyar’ika!” - he said as he pulled you closer to him, moved by your words.
“I’m serious. Why are we even doing this? What are we fighting for? Is this our war?”
Let’s leave it all behind. Let’s run away. Let’s hide from everything and everyone.
Wolffe was now looking at you, his eyes still warm, but more serious:
“As long as my brothers are fighting this war, cyar’ika, it is my war. I’m fighting for them.”
You felt tears in your eyes again, and you fought against them very hard. You didn’t want to cry. You understood what he was saying. Of course, you did. Wolffe didn’t have a traditional family. He didn’t have parents, childhood, school memories, old friends, or girlfriends for that matter. All he ever had was his brothers, and this was more sacred than anything else. A bond so strong, that it was worth fighting a war for.
You nodded. The war! No matter how it started and who started it, it was now everyone’s war and everyone’s reality. It wasn’t just you and Wolffe, everyone was affected by it, one way or another. Millions of clones, jedi generals, countless planets and populations. There didn’t seem to be any winners, no matter how the war ended - the price everyone already paid seemed enormous.
“I’ll just miss you so much!” - was all you had to say, accepting the truth, your voice on the verge of breaking.
“I’ll miss you too… “
Wolffe was a soldier, a commander and his squad, his brothers were his responsibility. And that was never going to change. None of them had any say in why this war was fought and why they came to exist at all, but there was no time for dwelling on that. That was the sad reality. But you could feel in the way Wolffe was holding you, in the way he fucked you moments ago, and in the way, his lips were hungry for your kisses, how starved he was. Starved for passion, tenderness, touch, closeness.. Starved for something else but the endless war he knew and fought all of his life. So, you held him close, and just listened to him breathe, staying that way for a while. Neither of you said anything.
“Hey, do you think, perhaps, there’s one of those parallel universes where there’s no war at all? - all of a sudden, a thought came to your mind.
“I do!” - he smiled.
“Did we ever meet in that universe?
“Of course, cyar’ika. I told you, there’s no universe in which we’re not together.”
That thought warmed your heart but also made you incredibly sad at the same time.
“Only this one….”
“Hey, no, Naia, no, I don’t want you to think like that.” - you felt him hold you tighter. “I will see you again. And one day, all of this will pass. Things will change, things always change. I promise you that! Just be patient, ad’ika, and you’ll see!”
His voice was now serious and firm, and you smiled and nodded. He couldn’t know that, of course, no one could, but his voice was comforting and it calmed your busy mind. His firm grip on you was reassuring and his lips found their way to your neck once again - there was barely a spot left on your neck that he hasn’t kissed repeatedly.
“And I’ll comm you every night!” - he whispered in your ear.
“You promise?”
“I do!”
He hugged you closer and kissed you again, one of those long, lazy kisses that kept taking your breath away. There were small beads of sweat just above his upper lip, and he tasted salty and sweet at the same time.
Why couldn’t this moment last forever? When will I see him again? Will I ever see him again?
He moved his lips from yours, but you kept your eyes closed, hoping to steal that moment and keep it last forever.
“Get a nap now, cyar’ika, we’ve got a long night ahead of us. I still haven’t kissed every part of your body. I want to memorise it, every curve, I want to know how you feel, how you smell, how you taste, how you react, every sound you make when I kiss you, when I tease you, I want to bite and suck and drink you, cyar’ika, I want to hold you when I make you cum over and over again. I want to know it all…” - he whispered these words slowly in your ear, your eyes still firmly shut, not letting that moment go anywhere.
——
A chill ran through your body and woke you up. You were alone, naked in your bed, and the bedsheet that Wolffe threw over you sometime early that morning to keep you warm was now mostly on the floor. You stretched your arm to fetch it and wrap it around you.
He was gone.
It was what you agreed - no goodbyes, no goodbye kisses, no big speeches, no drama. A seamless shift from one reality, one universe with him in it, to another, in which he was gone. It was supposed to be easier this way.
His presence was everywhere around you, though, making you dizzy all over again; his scent on the pillow right next to you, on the bedsheet you were now holding tight to your body, everywhere on you; you could literary smell him on your hair, on your hands, on your stomach; his marks were on your body, all over your neck, his fingerprints on your breasts, your thighs, your ass; the soreness deep in your throat and that painful emptiness pulsating between your legs, though still slightly creamed with his cum - everything, everything achingly reminded you of him.
But he was gone.
You could feel the Wulffe-shaped hole everywhere around you now, and you knew it’d follow you around wherever you went from now on, until you both stumbled upon that perfect universe, the one where there was no war anymore and where you’d wake up together for the rest of your lives.
A seamless shift. You had to believe it was possible!
