Secrets
Part 5 / the final part
Part 4 Part 3 Part 2 Part 1
Warnings: SMUT, 18+, PiV intercourse, angst, tears, feelings, so many feelings.
Word count: 4,9k
It all led to this...
“Oh!”
Did he just say that?
Oh!
“ I thought that was something we didn’t talk about” - you said, avoiding his gaze and looking around the room, feeling your cheeks blush.
He gently touched your chin and lifted your head searching for your eyes:
“You don’t think it’s… significant?” - his face was now warm, but serious.
“No, it’s not that… it’s just… well… you didn’t say anything afterwards, and…and I just thought you were trying to spare my feelings and not mention it…”
“Spare your feelings of what? - he looked genuinely perplexed.
“Of embarrassment. I kind of ambushed you with that kiss… I’m sorry about that, by the way! I’m not sure I know what came over me…but I shouldn’t have done it, not then and not there! Not like that!” - you tried to avert your gaze once again, but his grip on your chin was now firmer as he stepped even closer to you, his eyes firmly on you. He didn’t say anything for a while, and you wondered what went on in his head.
“Do you believe in parallel universes?” - he finally asked. The look on his face was still difficult to read.
“What?”
“Do you think there are countless parallel multiverses where this has happened, me and you, on this mission, together, but with different outcomes?”
“I…I don’t know. I never really thought of that.”
“Well, think about it. Perhaps in one of those universes, Kobalt got away. Perhaps in some Trixx did. Perhaps in others, I never killed that bodyguard. You never kissed me. Perhaps in some, we didn’t get along at all, to begin with anyway. In others, you never copied that data from Trixx’ datapad and the weapon sale went through. Perhaps somewhere he succeeded in attacking you.”
You shifted from one leg to another. The thought of that made you uncomfortable. He noticed you frown and he moved his face closer to yours, looking for your full attention.
“But do you really think there exists a universe where I wouldn’t have kissed you tonight, cyar’ika?”
His face was now so close to yours that you could feel his breath on your lips. Your heart skipped a beat. In fact, it felt like it stopped beating all together. Everything around you seemed to have slowed down, for all that mattered, all that still was in real-time was Wolffe, right next to you, holding your chin, his eyes piercing through yours:
“No matter what has happened before and what will happen after tonight, I was just waiting for the mission to end, and to get a moment alone with you. And at that moment… “ - his lips came so close to your left ear that you felt a shiver through your whole body, “At that moment, I was always going to make you mine! ” - he whispered.
You closed your eyes and leaned into him, as he gently placed a kiss right under your ear. A shiver turned into electricity that ran through your whole body as he dragged his lips along your chin, leaving a trail of light kisses.
“Do you understand now?” - he whispered. “There was always only one possible ending to this, cyar’ika.”
“Yes!” - you said, not opening your eyes, leaning into him.
A warmth washed over your body and you felt it spread from your core to your face, as he put his other hand on your waist, pulling you towards him. Your bodies were now pressed firmly together and you could feel him breathe, his chest rising and his hot breath on your neck. Everything felt almost surreal - you wanted this from the moment you saw him, even though you didn’t want to admit it. But in those moments of weakness, when you lied in your bed in silence and listened to Wolffe breathe in the next room, you let your mind wander and you imagined how this would feel. What Wolffe’s touch would feel like against your skin, what Wolffe’s lips would do to your neck. Thoughts like these became your comfort, your happy place. But at the same time, they tormented you since you thought they were unrealistic and dangerous. You thought they might hurt you, that they might deepen your feelings for Wolffe which would make parting from him impossibly difficult.
None of that mattered now. Now that he held you, now that his hands were wrapped around you, and now that his lips repeatedly touched the skin between your ear and your neck, which triggered your arousal to the heights you’ve never felt before. Your legs were now shaking and your head was spinning. He held you so gently as if he was worried he might break you, and you realised that he himself didn’t want to rush anything, but at the same time couldn’t help himself and keep away from you. You felt that he waited for this moment too, you felt that he thought of it, in the way he was almost indecisive now, not knowing where to touch you first, which part of your neck to kiss, and how close to pull you towards himself. It felt like he wanted to do everything, and was trying to do almost nothing and give you time to feel and come to terms with his lust for you.
But you’d be going home tomorrow. Home, that strange concept. Neither of you had a home. The home was lost for you both if a definition of a home was a place that you knew and loved, a place that gave you comfort. All the places have lost that ability in your lives, and being in each others’ arms felt more like home than anything else had for a long time.
Wolffe was my home. This security, this comfort. I haven’t felt this way since I was a little girl.
The moment his lips finally touched yours was the moment you both knew what this meant. It really didn’t matter what would come tomorrow, or what came before. Your mind became completely blank, wiped of all worries, memories, thoughts or fears. His fingers tangled in your hair, and your arms wrapped around his neck. He kissed you slowly like you had all the time in the world. Moments like this were moments that would last forever, so he took his time, gently planting his lips on yours, asking for more, wanting more, teasing you, inviting you, till his tongue tangled up with yours and his kiss deepened, almost draining you of all air.
“I want you!” - Wolffe managed to whisper, almost out of breath as he moved his lips from yours, his forehead resting on your, his eyes now closed. You could feel a slight tremor in his arms around you, making you realise that he was starting to struggle with his own desire for you. His voice was authoritative, but at the same time soft, laced with lust. And his swollen, painfully hard dick, now firmly pressed against your stomach was telling just how much he meant it.
All you did was nod - all you could do is nod - and you were already in his arms, lifted effortlessly and carried to the bedroom. You threw your arms around him, and you held him close, kissing his cheek, your fingers playing with his thick hair.
“I want you so bad, Annabelle” - he kept repeating as he put you down, and unzipped your dress, slipping both straps off of your shoulders.
He planted a trail of kisses along your shoulder and up your neck as you felt your dress slip and reveal your breasts. His hands were immediately on you, gently palming both of your breasts, his fingers pinching the sensitive skin of your nipples as you moaned right next to his ear:
“Wolffe, please…” -
“What do you want, cyar’ika? - he whispered, his hot breath first on your collarbone, and then moving onto your breasts.
You felt his lips wrap around your firm nipple, and you moaned, feeling how much he was trying to hold back, his voice now almost shaky and his fingers digging deeper into your skin, almost uncontrollably, and his tongue insatiable. He was losing control and composure, and you could feel it in the way his body reacted to your words.
“T-take me, Wolffe. Maker, I want you so bad! ” - you managed to say and his lips were back on yours, his kiss sucking all the air out of your lungs and his hands pulling your dress down, leaving you only in your underwear. You slid your hand up to loop it around his neck, pulling him closer, and moaning as you felt his thick hardness rubbing against you. He laid you gently on the bed, his heavy body now pressing yours, making it almost impossible for you to breathe. You gasped into his mouth and he moved and shifted his weight onto his underarms, leaving more space between you, but you pulled him back. He was fully clothed and you wanted to feel his bare skin on yours, so your hands reached for the bottom of his shirt. He reached back and helped you, pulling his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. You managed to catch a sight of his sculpted torso and it almost took your breath away and the next moment he was back on you, not able to keep his lips from yours.
He was warm, his body flushed as he was breathing heavy, and you could feel him holding back and not wanting to pressure you. He was hard, Maker, painfully hard against your stomach, you could felt him throb and twitch every time your teeth bit his lower lip, every time your hand ran up and down his back, you could feel his desire rising, swelling against you, his whole body stiffening and trembling like he was completely losing control over it.
He pushed his thigh between your legs and you rolled your hips instinctively, instantly moaning from the pleasure that brought you. He felt it and put more pressure on your core, but it wasn’t enough, you wanted him, you wanted him inside you, right away!
“Wolffe!
“Yes?”
“I want you to fuck me now, baby! Please! NOW!” - you almost couldn’t recognise your own voice or your own actions. There was no holding back anymore. As soon as you said that, you started pulling his pants down, and he helped you do it. Your hands found their way inside, on the velvet skin of his rock hard dick, begging to be released, almost burning hot, damp, and slicked with the precum that was leaking for a while. Wolffe almost growled into your kiss, as he quickly slipped his pants off and he was back on you, ripping your panties effortlessly off of you, your legs spreading beneath him, inviting him, begging him to enter you.
Please…
“You’re so wet, cyar’ika” - he said, his fingers moving between your folds, gathering all the slick that was now literally dripping out of your pussy and bringing it to his mouth, licking every last drop.
“..and even sweeter than I imagined”
You could feel his warm dick twitch once again against your inner thigh, and none of you could wait anymore. He guided his tip against your entrance, gently brushing your clit on the way and you moaned as he slowly pressed inside you giving you time to get used to him, but you moved impatiently, impaling yourself on his rock hard dick, gasping into his ear, calling his name and twisting your back, finding that angle that would allow him to enter you completely, not leaving any space between you. Once he was inside you he lifted his head and found your eyes, leaning his forehead onto yours. You were two people possessed, not in control of your bodies anymore - your bodies took over the last ounce of self control your minds possessed. The two bodies started dancing, moving in sync with each other, like two long lost entities that finally found each other, and that now were made whole.
His first few thrusts were gentle and slow, and you could feel him drag in your pussy, almost feeling every ridge, every vein on his hard dick. He was reaching that sensitive spot in you, teasing it slowly first and then speeding up his movements, holding your hips tight, the sound of your wetness against his every thrust filling the room. You felt the warmth move from your core up to your face, and your release building up deep inside.
“Wolffe, don’t stop, I’m s-so close, I’m-I’m g-gonna….” - - you managed to stammer.
“I know, cyar’ika, I can feel it.” - he whispered and planted a kiss on your temple. “Let go for me, mesh’la. Let go of everything, I’ve got you!” - he said, almost breathless.
Wolffe was now rough, but he could feel you wanted it this way, all your bottled up feelings for each other had to come out like this, passionately and urgently. You were both panting, beads of sweat gathering on your forehead, as he continued his relentless pace, holding you tight, his cock brushing against all those sensitive spots deep inside you. You could feel him in places you didn’t think were possible, as the warmth started spreading over your whole body. His finger gently touched your clit, circling around it first and then rolling your swollen bud between his fingers, and you were done. You threw your head back and let the warmth wash over you, all your nerve endings reacting at the same time and all your muscles contracting and relaxing almost simultaneously. You felt your body leave your mind once again, and you became weightless, floating around the room, until you felt Wolffe’s strong arms on your hips, holding you, pulling you down, bringing you back from your high and back to reality.
“Wolffe!”- you panted as you opened your eyes. You repeated his name almost like a chant, over and over again, your mind almost blank of any other words or any other emotion. He was everything at that moment, he was every feeling, every man, everything you ever needed.
You hugged him close, so close, pulled him towards you, and he buried his face between your shoulder and your neck. He was panting, and you could feel the sweat on his chest mixing with your own, while his dick was twitching so hard inside you that you could feel he was close himself.
“What’s your name?” - he suddenly whispered in your ear, his voice shaky.
“What?” - you opened your eyes and felt as if someone just woke you up after a long sleep.
“Your real name, cyar’ika! I know it’s not Annabelle.” - his voice was now authoritative again, demanding and firm.
You froze. It was rule number one in the academy - no one could know your real name. And no one ever did, not even the instructors who trained you. Over the years, you took over so many different identities, pretended to be so many different people, faked so many emotions, that your name, your real name became your only anchor, grounding you, helping you to not drift away. It became your marker, the one you used not to lose yourself in other names and other personalities. And you became extremely protective of it. It was the one thing that was yours and only yours. Precious. And as long as you took good care of it, as long as you protected it from everyone, from the outside world, you knew you’d be okay. You knew who you were. And you never felt the need to give it to anyone. No one ever felt worthy.
“I want to say your name when I cum, ad’ika. And I want it to be your name. I want it to be you. The real you!” - Wolffe’s hot breath was right next to your ear.
There was no doubt in your mind. If there ever even was it was wiped away by this extraordinary man, who held you in his arms, who had you, completely and in every way, and who time after time proved how worthy he was.
“Na…. ia” - you said quietly, the word almost choking you and not coming out properly. You took his head in your hands and found his eyes. You wanted him to hear you loud and clear.
“Naia” - you repeated and it felt surreal. “It’s Naia!” - You wanted to say it again and again. You wanted to make sure he heard it. You wanted to make sure he never forgot it.
My name is Naia, Wolffe! And only you get to know that.
“I’ve never told that to anyone before!” - you said, and Wolffe stopped his thrusts for a moment to acknowledge the weight of the moment. You felt strangely proud of yourself at that moment, as you felt him place a trail of gentle kisses just under your ear.
“I’m glad you told me, ad’ika!”
As if that word, your name, was the last thing he needed, the last piece of the puzzle to fit into the perfect picture, he seated himself deep inside you and sank his teeth at the base of your neck. You felt that his thrusts now reached even deeper inside you, your pussy now ruined, ruined for anyone else ever again. It belonged to him, now and forever. You had never been so full and the sensation of him stretching you more and more with every thrust was almost too much - in a most wonderful way! His cock twitched against your walls one final time, and his whole body, all of his muscles stiffened in a moment as you held him. You felt a growl form in his lower stomach, move through his whole body, and come out loudly, deep into the base of your neck, as his hot release spilled into you with every heavy, now slower thrust.
“Naia!” - Wolffe repeated your name again and again, as he slowed completely down, still deep inside you, but now almost out of breath. You could feel his heavy breaths on the sweaty skin on your neck, and you gently caressed his back as he was coming down from his high. He lifted his head and looked at you, whispered ‘Naia’ one more time, and you gently kissed him, his lips welcoming yours and deepening the kiss, his tongue finding yours, exploring your mouth, once again. You couldn’t really pull away from each other, kissing each other hard and deep, your fingers intertwining.
When he finally moved his lips from yours you felt every emotion you’ve ever had fill your thoughts and completely wash over you. Suddenly the idea of Wolffe ever leaving and moving away from you seemed unbearable, and you felt tears filling your eyes. He noticed immediately:
“Hey, hey, hey, Naia, what’s wrong?” - he pulled slowly out, and even though you could still feel his hot release deep inside you, the emptiness that he left made you even sadder. Tears now rolled from your eyes, and you were no more in control of your emotions. Wolffe saw that, and quickly wrapped an arm around your back and pulled you to sit in his lap as you buried your face at the base of his neck.
“Shhhh, mesh’la, shhh, it’s okay” - he kept repeating as your sobs overtook your body. He held you close and kept kissing your forehead and caressing your hair.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry Wolffe, I’m not normally like this” - you said, not lifting your head, but inhaling his sweet scent, mixed with his sweat, as you tried to speak through your sobs.
“It’s okay, you let it all out, Naia. I’m here, I’ve got you.” - he whispered in your ear. Every time he said your name you felt like you wanted to cry even more. You couldn’t even remember the last time someone said your name to you, and the sound of it now made you even more melancholic.
“I’m just overwhelmed, Wolffe…” - you finally said, as you managed to lift your head and find his eyes. His cheeks were now flushed, and his hair was messy, but that warm look in his mismatched eyes was there, unmistakably his. Unique! It was incredible how much that look already came to mean to you. Your home!
“I know, mesh’la, I am too!” - he whispered in your ear, as he held you close to him, and planted light kisses on your forehead.
“I’m not usually like this”, you said, regaining control over your voice again, “it’s just.. it’s just, this, you, my name… it’s been so long…”
“You don’t have to explain, I understand.. It’s been a rough couple of days, I know.”
“Yes, and then… there’s you, Wolffe!” - you said and looked him firmly in the eyes. Your emotions were now slightly under your control again, and ready, ready for you to surrender them to him, completely and unconditionally.
“What about me?” - he looked almost concerned for a second.
“I wanted this for so long, even though I didn’t want to admit it to myself. It was a secret I tried to keep even from myself. I thought I was being unprofessional, having thoughts like these. But, Maker, I wanted you. Every moment of every day since I laid my eyes on you…sorry! I know how I sound!” - you stopped yourself and smiled.
He smiled back, that smile that made every atom of your body tremble.
“Sounds familiar!”
"What do you mean?”
“Well, how do you think I felt having to sleep under the same roof as you, night after night, knowing you’re in the bedroom next door, half-naked. I thought I’d go insane. Every night I’d woke up, drenched in sweat… and something else…”
Your eyes widened:
“No!” - you smiled, feeling your drying tears reach your lips. Wolffe gently wiped them and smiled back.
“Wet dreams every night, mesh’la. Every night. Dreams of you, of you and me. They tormented me.… And I’d wake up, go to the refresher, and hear you breathe in the next room. I checked up on you, every time, and you always looked so peaceful, almost angelic… I couldn’t take my eyes off you..”
“Wolffe…” - you put your head back on his shoulder.
“Yes, mesh’la?"
“What’s going to happen now? What are we going to do?”
“What do you mean?” - he said, as he caressed your arm.
“I mean tomorrow, the day after… do you even know where you are going after tomorrow?”
“Back to the front. Corellia. Master Plo is heading there tomorrow as well, and my squad is there already.”
“That’s so far from Coruscant!”
“That’s where you’ll be?”
“Yes. For some time anyway. I have to help train the new agents, so I’ll stay there for a while this time.”
“That sounds nice. Peaceful. Do you like doing that? Training? - he said as he kept kissing you between his questions, wherever his mouth could reach, your temple, cheek, ear, chin…
“I guess so. But what about you, Wolffe?” - you lifted your head and found his eyes.
“What about me?”
“How will I ever be able to function normally ever again, if you are far away? Fighting a war! How will I know you’re okay?”
“Oh, cyar’ika!” - he said as he pulled you closer to him, moved by your words.
“I’m serious. Why are we even doing this? What are we fighting for? Is this our war?”
Let’s leave it all behind. Let’s run away. Let’s hide from everything and everyone.
Wolffe was now looking at you, his eyes still warm, but more serious:
“As long as my brothers are fighting this war, cyar’ika, it is my war. I’m fighting for them.”
You felt tears in your eyes again, and you fought against them very hard. You didn’t want to cry. You understood what he was saying. Of course, you did. Wolffe didn’t have a traditional family. He didn’t have parents, childhood, school memories, old friends, or girlfriends for that matter. All he ever had was his brothers, and this was more sacred than anything else. A bond so strong, that it was worth fighting a war for.
You nodded. The war! No matter how it started and who started it, it was now everyone’s war and everyone’s reality. It wasn’t just you and Wolffe, everyone was affected by it, one way or another. Millions of clones, jedi generals, countless planets and populations. There didn’t seem to be any winners, no matter how the war ended - the price everyone already paid seemed enormous.
“I’ll just miss you so much!” - was all you had to say, accepting the truth, your voice on the verge of breaking.
“I’ll miss you too… “
Wolffe was a soldier, a commander and his squad, his brothers were his responsibility. And that was never going to change. None of them had any say in why this war was fought and why they came to exist at all, but there was no time for dwelling on that. That was the sad reality. But you could feel in the way Wolffe was holding you, in the way he fucked you moments ago, and in the way, his lips were hungry for your kisses, how starved he was. Starved for passion, tenderness, touch, closeness.. Starved for something else but the endless war he knew and fought all of his life. So, you held him close, and just listened to him breathe, staying that way for a while. Neither of you said anything.
“Hey, do you think, perhaps, there’s one of those parallel universes where there’s no war at all? - all of a sudden, a thought came to your mind.
“I do!” - he smiled.
“Did we ever meet in that universe?
“Of course, cyar’ika. I told you, there’s no universe in which we’re not together.”
That thought warmed your heart but also made you incredibly sad at the same time.
“Only this one….”
“Hey, no, Naia, no, I don’t want you to think like that.” - you felt him hold you tighter. “I will see you again. And one day, all of this will pass. Things will change, things always change. I promise you that! Just be patient, ad’ika, and you’ll see!”
His voice was now serious and firm, and you smiled and nodded. He couldn’t know that, of course, no one could, but his voice was comforting and it calmed your busy mind. His firm grip on you was reassuring and his lips found their way to your neck once again - there was barely a spot left on your neck that he hasn’t kissed repeatedly.
“And I’ll comm you every night!” - he whispered in your ear.
“You promise?”
“I do!”
He hugged you closer and kissed you again, one of those long, lazy kisses that kept taking your breath away. There were small beads of sweat just above his upper lip, and he tasted salty and sweet at the same time.
Why couldn’t this moment last forever? When will I see him again? Will I ever see him again?
He moved his lips from yours, but you kept your eyes closed, hoping to steal that moment and keep it last forever.
“Get a nap now, cyar’ika, we’ve got a long night ahead of us. I still haven’t kissed every part of your body. I want to memorise it, every curve, I want to know how you feel, how you smell, how you taste, how you react, every sound you make when I kiss you, when I tease you, I want to bite and suck and drink you, cyar’ika, I want to hold you when I make you cum over and over again. I want to know it all…” - he whispered these words slowly in your ear, your eyes still firmly shut, not letting that moment go anywhere.
——
A chill ran through your body and woke you up. You were alone, naked in your bed, and the bedsheet that Wolffe threw over you sometime early that morning to keep you warm was now mostly on the floor. You stretched your arm to fetch it and wrap it around you.
He was gone.
It was what you agreed - no goodbyes, no goodbye kisses, no big speeches, no drama. A seamless shift from one reality, one universe with him in it, to another, in which he was gone. It was supposed to be easier this way.
His presence was everywhere around you, though, making you dizzy all over again; his scent on the pillow right next to you, on the bedsheet you were now holding tight to your body, everywhere on you; you could literary smell him on your hair, on your hands, on your stomach; his marks were on your body, all over your neck, his fingerprints on your breasts, your thighs, your ass; the soreness deep in your throat and that painful emptiness pulsating between your legs, though still slightly creamed with his cum - everything, everything achingly reminded you of him.
But he was gone.
You could feel the Wulffe-shaped hole everywhere around you now, and you knew it’d follow you around wherever you went from now on, until you both stumbled upon that perfect universe, the one where there was no war anymore and where you’d wake up together for the rest of your lives.
A seamless shift. You had to believe it was possible!
tags: @let-them-hear @megafrost4