Let me just start this off by telling you how much of a nervous wreck I was about this weekend. Meeting Sebastian, being in a space with so many people, a city way larger than the one I currently reside in, and the possibility of meeting one of my most treasured friends? All things that made my anxiety go through the roof. Experiencing them all at the same time? Well..
I arrived about two hours before the Con was going to close for the evening. I decided to go anyway, so I could walk around and map out where everything was. I’m the type of person who likes to know where all the exits are, just in case I need to bolt last minute. My nerves will be the death of me. (Shoutout to @mindingmyownbusiness for being my voice of reason and not letting me back out. I’m lucky to have you.)
Upon entering, I immediately went to find @plumfondler. Let me just tell you, she is even more lovely than I could have imagined, and I am thrilled to know her. (Elle, I miss you already.) Just having her there put me a little more at ease.
After sweating my ass off and walking around the entire building at least three times, I decided it would be best to retire for the evening.
The thing I remember most about Saturday were the cosplayers... Just... wow. I really admire anyone who has the dedication to do something like that. Some of the costumes were so detailed that I almost thought they could be real. (Seriously if you cosplay that’s fucking awesome.) I got a few pictures with some of my favorites, met the lovely @jayattemptstoruletheworld (thanks for being so sweet and fanning me so my face didn’t melt off, you’re the real mvp), ate con food for the first time (meh), aaaand walked until my feet felt like they might fall off. Sean Astin was less than three feet away from me at one point, and I was so starstruck that I just smiled like a creep and quickly walked away. Later that night, I got to have drinks with Elle, which is something I’ll always treasure.
I had a hard time falling asleep that night.
I wake up Sunday morning long before my alarm goes off, and I already feel like I’m going to throw up. I spend at least an hour in the bathroom, telling myself not to, and giving myself silent pep talks in the mirror.
When my breakfast arrives, I eat maybe three bites, my anxiety getting the best of me. I start to question if I really can do this. Did I underestimate how anxious I’d actually be? At this point, I’m sure I’m going to throw up on Sebastian as soon as I see him. What if I can’t go through with it? What if I faint? Oh god, what if I cry?
I get dressed and put my makeup on, scrutinizing every detail of myself in the mirror before I leave, trying out different smiles before I settle on one that looks semi-real. I'm trying my best to channel my inner Steve Rogers as @mindingmyownbusiness told me to do. “I can do this all day. I can do this.”
When I arrive at the convention center, I ask someone how exactly I get to room 124. They give me all the information I need, tell me that they’ll start lining up for the meet and greet at 11:30, and I think I’ve calmed down a fraction, but then I see the line of people to get into the convention. I feel like I should’ve been there earlier. After waiting in line for an hour, I’m finally inside and I can take a breather… for now.
I wander around for awhile, waiting for the alarm I’ve set for 11:20 to go off. When it finally does, I nearly run to the escalator to make my way back downstairs.
The corridors I walk down are quiet and pretty much empty, but when I finally reach the room, the sight before me makes my stomach drop.
There are at least 25 people ahead of me.
I should have gotten here earlier.
I wait patiently in line for about ten minutes before they start filing us into the room. I see everyone bolt for the first two rows and I try not to feel too disappointed when I’m seated in the second to last row, right beside the photo-op set up. I’m worried I won’t be able to see him clearly.
A super cute, but incredibly anxious redhead comes up, asking if it’s okay if she takes the last seat beside me. When I say “of course”, the look of relief on her face makes my heart swell. “Oh thank god, I was so worried you’d say no.” She’s just as nervous as I am, and it makes me feel better.
I start to talk to her a little bit, she tells me how she’s met Seb, Chris and Mackie before, but she’s still so nervous to see him again. She’s afraid she’ll forget how to speak. I feel for her. I tell her to try to breathe, and remember that he’s just a person.. yes, he’s an incredibly talented and beautiful person, but he’s just a man. And he’s probably just as nervous as we are. It takes a lot out of a person to do these meet & greets, I’m sure.
I tell her what I would want to hear if I was in her shoes.. coincidentally, I am.
As if he knows we’re talking about him, Sebastian walks into the room, and my heart stops the first time I hear him speak. “Hey.”
He tells us that due to time restrictions, he only has an hour with us. He looks disappointed, but I think we were all just so appreciative that we got to spend ANY time with him at all.
He answers a handful of questions, fidgets nervously, I think he even sat on the table at one point. He’s so much more stunning in person that I can’t help but smile like an idiot the whole time.
He walks towards the photo area, and I can see him glancing around the room at all of us.
He’s standing 5 feet away from me when his gaze lands on my arm. He does a double take, his eyes go wide with excitement and his mouth falls open as he whispers, “oh my god.”
I feel myself blush, and all my brilliant ass can come up with to say is, “Yeah, that’s your face.”
He immediately rips his phone from his pocket, coming closer. “That’s so amazing. I’m posting this RIGHT NOW. Can I post it?” I’m so stunned by the fact that he’s talking to ME that all I can do is nod. He grabs me by the wrist and takes a photo of my arm. He murmurs a quiet thank you, and then pulls back, turning his back to me.. only a few seconds pass before he returns and holds his phone out to me. “Tag yourself. Please.”
I look up at him with what I’m sure is a petrified face, and he just nods at me, encouraging me to take the device from his hands. I do so, trembling, and do as he’s asked. When I hand his phone back, he smiles and thanks me, before turning away again.
I’m so stunned I barely hear the girl sitting behind me when she asks if she can see, too. I talk to her for a few minutes in a daze, until Netania comes over with a smile. “Hi, sorry! Can I see it?” She asks. When I show her, her eyes go as wide as Sebastian’s. “Oh my god that’s beautiful!” I tell her thank you, and tell her it’s not finished. She looks appalled. “What do you mean it’s not finished? It looks just like him. Amazing.” At this point, I’m sure I must be dreaming.
I remember turning to the woman on my left with a dazed smile. “I think I might need someone to pinch me..” She just laughed softly.
I wait in my seat patiently while the first few rows get their pictures with Sebastian. When it’s finally time for our row to fall into line, my hands start to shake again. The closer I get to him, the worse it gets.
I’m finally watching the person in front of me get her photo taken, and I have to remind myself how to breathe. I remember watching his hands hold her, and all I’m able to think is “Oh god, he’s about to touch me.”
When she walks away, he turns to me with a bright smile, holding his hands up between us like he wants to lace fingers with me. I’m so nervous that I bypass his welcoming embrace and blurt out, “Can I touch you? Is that okay?” His smile grows and he nods, his hands finding my upper arms. “Of course. Please.” Is his response. I rest my hands on his chest and look up to meet his eyes. My knees wobble and I feel my face flush.
As if he can sense the effect he’s having on me, he smirks and lets out a soft chuckle, right before the flash goes off.
I wanted to live in that moment forever.
I reluctantly pull back, mumble a quiet thank you and walk past him. His gaze follows me over his shoulder as he calls, “I love your hair by the way.” I look at him, and he’s still smirking. I laugh nervously and thank him again before getting in line to wait for my print out.
At this point, I’ve died and gone to heaven. I still can’t believe all of this is happening. Of all the scenarios I came up with in my head.. none were like this.
I sit and wait for my picture to be printed out, chatting with the people around me. I think we were all feeling the same way: did we really just meet Sebastian Stan? We were high off his presence alone.
Once I’m told that it’s time for us to get our pictures autographed, I patiently await my turn, starting to shake again when I hand Netania my picture with my name written on a post-it note. She enthusiastically greets me before sliding the photo to Sebastian. He looks at the photo with a smile before looking up at me and saying my name. My heart stuttered in my chest, and luckily I had written him a letter with everything I wanted to say in case my voice failed me. It did. I slide the folded up pieces of paper to him and he grinned when he handed me my photo. His last words to me were, “Thank you.”
I still don’t think it’s set in that I met him. I still can’t believe that he was so much more sweet and charming and wonderful than I ever imagined.
This weekend was one of the best I’ve ever had the honor of experiencing, and I want to treasure every single moment of it for as long as I can. Thank you Wizard World for giving me the opportunity to create beautiful memories with so many amazing people. I will never forget how I felt this weekend.
