WWDITS SEASON 5 FINALE PREDICTIONS
Someone asked for bonkers predictions for tonight's episodes, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I doubt the curse of Apollo will strike me, but who knows?
- The Morrigan House is a ploy by Simon the Devious. The vamps obliviously blunder through traps meant to kill them, foiling their host's plan.
- The Guide has been intentionally sabotaging the vampires all season because the housemates destroyed her former way of life and the building she was in charge of. She could have forgiven them if they gave her a new purpose as their friend, but since they're ignoring her, she will become their nightmare instead. She previously hexed Nadja, tried to get Guillermo killed and threw shade at Laszlo's book organization to cause him to hyperfixate.
- Guillermo's been kidnapped but Nandor is too stupid to realize it and thinks he returned to Panera Bread. While he's gone, Nandor can't stop seeing Guillermo everwhere. That rat looks like Guillermo. That bird-frog looks like Guillermo...
- The vamps will comb every Panera Bread, and fortunately for them, Guillermo's kidnapper is dumb enough to keep him at a Panera Bread in Little Antipaxos. Nadja finds out from her diner friends.
- When Nandor finally finds out, everyone tries to take the blame for turning Guillermo. Like Spartacus style. Laszlo, Nadja and even Colin because he didn't want to feel left out. They then try to convince Nandor it was a communal turning of a communal familiar so no one needs to kill anyone else today, but Nandor doesn't believe them. Not because what they say is physically impossible on multiple levels, but because ...
- Guillermo cannot fully change because Nandor made a wish that Guillermo would never be a vampire yet will remain with Nandor. This leads to yet another emotionally cathartic fight between the two. Each accuses the other of using them. The fight only defuses when they see clips from the documentary of the other being mushy about them when they're not around.
- Nandor uses his last wish to make Guillermo a full vampire thus Nandor technically turned Guillermo and doesn't have to kill him. This can't be a completely happy ending so it's Nandor's turn to run away from things he'd rather not deal with, leaving Guillermo behind.
- Guillermo is confident he can track Nandor down. He's still a vampire hunter, after all, and Nandor isn't the brightest prey.
- Laszlo creates a couple of Guide-raven hybrids, so the Guide will always have company. Laszlo is happy his science has worked for once. He ignores the TV reports about the increasing number of Guillermo hybrid sightings around New York.
- Nadja is happy that no hex means she's free to be mean again. She and Dollie go on an insult bender.
- Derek used the money Guillermo paid him to bribe other vampires into talking him up, so now he's considered a cool and legendary vampire. Bonus points if a jealous Nandor is there to call him a fucking guy.
