A/N: At long last it has arrived! Not me waiting for my friend to get off the phone so we can go to the movie theaters and playing Tourner Dans Le Vide bye Indila on repeat. I fucking love that song. Ever since elementary french class. T-T Anyways, I read the last part and have a small idea. I’m going to hope that I can follow a slight character plot but also have character development for Y/n. This also seems like a popular storyline thing, so why not. Hope yall enjoy! (I feel like it might be slightly popular because of the fact of being able to relate to it. I want to write something to explain why I chose Hawks to be this Y/n’s partner instead of other comfort characters, but not yet.)
TW: Suicidal ideations, depressive thoughts, cursing, alcohol mentions, implied past drug use, 13+
As always, if you struggle with anything like this, please seek help from a professional and let the people who care about you know. It won’t help if you don’t have anyone to help you and talk to. Please please please stay safe everybody.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 🪶 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
You opened your eyes, unaware that you had even begun to close them. From the angle that Hawks held you within his arms, you had a clear view of his jawline. It was clenching and unclenching and a small part of you whispered that it was because he was uncomfortable with you being so close. You pulled your gaze away from his face to look at your hands clenching the fabric of his shirt. Then slowly, very slowly, you turned your gaze to the cityscape once again below you.
More lights flickered out as it got deeper into the night. Or was it early morning now? Eh. It didn’t really matter. That light feeling still made your chest warm and tight.
“Hey... Hawks?” You said softly. He made no move of hearing you. You let out a puff of air that tickled the skin on his neck, causing him to regard you. “Do you trust me?” You asked, turning his own words back onto him. He paused his flying to have you both just hovering up in the air.
“Of course, dove. Why?” He asked, his voice like his feathers. Soft and light, but the potential to turn into a hard edge.
“Drop me.” You said, your voice stern. You weren’t scared of dying. But it had you wondering if the stories you heard were true. Did people regret it when it was becoming too late? His arms tightened around your waist and back.
“What? Absolutely not. I’m not going to do that.” He said. Ah. There it was. That hard edge you knew his voice could form. You let go of his shirt to grab behind you onto his wrists.
You were so delicate when you looked at him like that. Normally someone being calm was good in his line of work. But the calmness that flickered in your dull eyes scared him. He tightened his hold again as he felt your fingers try to pry his hands away from you. He could feel your spine.
“Why not?” Your voice, even now when he was scared still sounded so beautiful and musical. He drew his brows together to regard you heavily.
“I’m not going to let you try to hurt yourself. Isn’t that clear already?” He asked. And despite his harsh sounding words, his tone was gentle. He watched a bitter smile fill your expression and felt that rush of fear again, matching with confusion.
“Stop being a hero and let me drop. I want to hear the rush of air.” You said. Hawks continued to flap his large wings before folding them against his back, still holding tightly onto you. The two of you fell quickly through the dark sky, and he kept his eyes on your face. He watched as the wind ripped tears from your eyes and a scream got caught in your throat. He watched as the tops of buildings started to appear above you and estimated how close the ground was to hitting his back. “Hawks-” You breathed and he could feel your body shaking. He let you both continue falling for a few more moments before his wings spread again, snapping you both back into the air a few feet. Then with several powerful wingbeats you both were standing on the cracked pavement of the sidewalk.
“That’s what falling feels like, chickadee.” He whispered to you. And he seemed to know that you didn’t want him to let go. He sank to the ground, still holding you as you sobbed into his shoulder. “There’s no relief behind it. Only groundless emptiness. No support. No one there. You can try to grab the air but it just rushes past you.”
“Stop.” You whimpered, but he kept going. And you knew he needed to.
“No dove. You don’t understand it. I don’t know what you’re going through. But the air and the ground aren’t going to solve any of it.” Then his voice went silent and he just held you. You knew he wanted to say more, and you both knew that you weren’t ready to hear it.
What he was doing was making you mad. But it also made more sense. He wanted to help you, and maybe this was the only way he could think of it. You didn’t notice your eyes closing, or your body slipping into an easy sleep for the first time in a while.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 🪶 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
A/N: Sorry for the abrupt end and how short it is. I’m behind in some classes, so I have to get those done after the movies. So stay safe everyone! (I’m not gonna sleep tonight WHOOT WHOOT!)
