Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
I'm new to Tumblr, so if any of these links don't work, please let me know which one(s).
Prologue "Overture"
Chapter 1 "I'm Doing Everything All Wrong"
Chapter 2 "Best Laid Plans..."
Chapter 3 "...Often Go Awry"
Chapter 4 "Agony, Misery, Woe"
Chapter 5 "Telephone Hour"
Chapter 6 "Just the Boys Now"
Chapter 7 "The Anxiety Song"
Chapter 8 "Bit By Bit"
Chapter 9 "Nothing's Gonna Harm You"
Chapter 10 "Head Over Feet"
Chapter 11 "Tell Me More, Tell Me More"
Chapter 12 "On the Steps of the Palace"
Chapter 13 "What is This Feeling?"
Chapter 14 "Blow Out The Candles, Taehyung, And Make a Wish"
When You Touch Me - Wolverine x male reader x Deadpool 1/?
God I'm a sucker for a soulmate au. (AO3) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11)
Warnings/tags: male reader, canon-typical violence, enemies to friends to lovers, eventual smut, slow burn
Wordcount: 2383
Summary: You’ve heard many stories about how people met their soulmates. Everyone crazier than the last, ranging from typical meet cutes, meeting with one of them at death's door, in war, meeting at your soulmate's wedding to another, and everything in between and outside of that. You had just never expected to add yours to the crazy list, meeting yours in a fight, only realizing after trying to kill each other for at least half an hour. And you certainly don’t expect to have another.
Other info: About this au - Soulmates find each other through touch, which establishes a mental link that lets feelings through, and if solid and built up enough over time, simple thoughts/words can also come through. Some bonds are purely platonic, about ⅓ in total. Multiple soulmates are not unheard of, but rare, more common with platonic soulmates.
Quickly about the reader - mercenary/gunman/thug for hire. Great shot with pretty much any gun, has two knives as backup weapons, has fought with swords before. Looks wise he has hair and is shorter than Wade and Logan, but I try to keep no specific height in mind while writing. Has a few scars scattered over his body, but nothing specific as of yet. Wears gloves almost everyday. Does not want a soulmate, thinks it just leaves people vulnerable. Lives on his own in an apartment he owns and is content with his life.
All you were, really, was hired help.
All you were supposed to do was stand around and look scary, dressed in all black down to your gloves (an item you forgot even though you wore them almost everyday), with a few other tugs in a warehouse with high shelves stacked with crates, while your employer (a generous word for the drug dealer that hired you) met with another drug dealer.
It had gone tits up the second a man wearing a red and black spandex suit and katanas on his back of all things came crashing through a window.
You had dived for cover, because there are gunshots ringing out in the milliseconds after the glass shatters. You curse, reaching for your gun, with just one single 10 bullet magazine, because your stupid employer had insisted you only needed one when you asked for more. So to have something more you had your adamantium knives strapped to each thigh, hidden enough under your black joggers.
You curse under your breath, cause this is fucking awful. You hear gunshots over and over again, people are dying, wood from shipping crates are splintering, metal is hitting the floor.
And there’s talking.
Fucking talking.
“Come one guys, your aim is all off! Did none of you ever train on the neighborhood cats?”
Well, more like yelling. Because even though the warehouse wasn’t empty, it still had an echo. You are used to the loud sounds, it fuels your adrenaline as you peek out from behind the crate you are using as a shield.
The man, you are just going to call him Red for now, is flipping and bouncing between crates, avoiding any big hits. A few bullets graze an arm, but he doesn’t seem to take notice as his own bullets find their marks, bodies dropping around him. He’s nimble and quick about it, taking down guys from both sides with equal gusto, and you find yourself just watching him carefully. He’s almost elegant, light on his feet, and a jab or taunt spewing out of his mouth every few bullets.
Careful not to alert Red or anyone else about your position, you shift, gun in hand watching him saunter over to your employer, the last man standing. Well, not really, since he’s down on his knees, begging for something incoherent while fat tears and snot roll down his face.
“Newsflash asshole, I don’t care for your tragic backstory that the writer won’t let you talk about.” Red raises his gun, one last loud bang filling the warehouse before it’s quiet once again.
“Last fucking one, my amazing math skills once again making me winnerrrrr.” Red claps his hands together, before moving his hands to his hips, looking around the warehouse. “What a fucking mess.” He shakes his head, and you see your opportunity now that he thinks it’s all over.
You move up, pulling the trigger as soon as your gun is aimed right. Red doesn’t even get to turn before six bullets go through his chest, two through his throat, and the last two finding their mark in his skull. You shouldn’t use all your bullets on one target like that, but still, you do, too full of adrenaline to be fully rational. Red drops like a sack of potatoes, and you draw a sigh of relief, lowering your gun as you too look around the warehouse. You’re glad it’s far away from anything else, because it should take at least a few hours before the cops are alerted, and by that time you would be far away from this warehouse that is by now covered in blood, bullet casings, and dead men.
Your earlier relief turns into utter confusion as you hear shuffling, and when you turn back towards where Red’s body is, you see him shake his head where he lays crumpled on the floor, and seconds later he’s on his feet with a groan.
“Okay, good shot whoever that was.” You gape, words slipping out of your mouth without meaning to.
“What the fuck.” Red’s head snaps towards you.
“Oh, there you are.” His voice is light, almost like he’s halfway into song. “I would return the favor, but I’m fresh out of bullets so this will have to do.” He pulls out the katanas strapped to his back. You grab your knives, managing, somehow by the grace of whatever runs this universe, to bring it out just in time to block both katanas that were coming at you in tight formation.
“Oh so you weren’t just happy to see me.” Red jokes, and though you can’t see his face under the mask, you are pretty sure he is grinning. You grunt, because there is no way for your brain to form words as you parry another attack from him, retreating.
You are in no position to attack, , so all you do is stop his attacks and try to escape, backing off. Or rather, you try to, but Red is not letting up, so all you end up doing is walking backwards through the warehouse in a vague path between boxes and shelves as he attacks.
He manages to get a few slashes here and there to connect, but they are shallow, just enough to draw blood and sting. One on your left arm, two on your right arm, three on your left leg. You wonder if amounts are on purpose. He seems to take it all as encouragement, laughing, keeping up his quick attacks.
You don’t know you hold out, breathing heavy, arms and hands hurting with how you are clutching and shielding with your knives like your life depends on it.
Because it 1000% fucking does, that’s why you manage.
Red finally lets up, just enough that you can create some space between the two of you. You don’t dare to actually turn and run, certain he has no moral code of cutting down someone from behind. So you just try to slowly create even more room between the two of you as you watch for his next attack.
“Oh I am having fun!” Red tries to clap, but he just knocks the hilts of his katanas together. “Though we are just a little unevenly matched here.” He sounds like he’s breathing just a little bit harder at least, even though there are no cuts next to the bullet holes riddling his suit. He tilts his head for a moment, then bends down, and then there’s a katana sliding over the floor, bumping into your boot. You look down at it, before looking back up at him.
“Come on, pick it up.” Shifting your knives into one hand, you keep your eyes on the white eyes of his mask as you bend down and pick up the sword.
“Oh yeah, look at me during.” You ignore his comment, feeling the weight of the katana in your hand. It’s heavy, but perfectly balanced, feeling perfect as you spin it in your hand a few times, the hilt still warm from Red’s earlier hold.
“Hot.” Red says as he twirls his second katana, mimicking you. Once more ignoring him, you put your knives back in their sheats. “Do you have them there to distract your enemies by making them think you are going to jerk off mid-battle?” You snort.
“No, they are there so they are more hidden, and more difficult to grab.”
“If you wanted my hands in your pants all you had to do was ask, baby.” You think Red is winking at you through the mask. You roll your eyes, taking a deep breath.
“Shut the fuck up.” With both of your hands on the hilt of the katana, you are ready to defend yourself from his first attack.
“Ohhh, you remind me of someone. I think the two of you would get along, he’s also a man of few words. Maybe I’ll let you live so you can meet him and fight him too, more material for my spank bank.” He definitely winks this time, then you are defending yourself from another attack from him. It pushes you backwards, again, but this time, you are able to attack back.
Though you can’t help but wonder if he’s letting you, just indulging you. Because you can feel how strong he is when you parry his strikes, you felt how strong he was when all you had was your knives.
It’s a dance, a dance he lets you participate in as you block, attack, block, attack, block. Redirecting his sword coming for your throat so it splinters wood instead of flesh.
“How did you learn to fight like this?” Wade asks, almost spinning as his energy is redirected away from your body. He is at least breathing a little heavier, and for some reason, you find yourself having a little fun, even though you think you know how this is going to end.
“I was a loser in high school. What about you?” You speak through gritted teeth, the sound of metal on metal filling the warehouse as you block another attack. You don’t even know why you ask him back, but it feels right.
“Something similar.” It’s still kinda hard to tell, but you think he grins under his mask as you attack back.
You do get a few cuts in, deep enough that it slices through his suit and the skin underneath, but it leaves you with little satisfaction as you see the cuts heal in seconds. Though at least his suit can’t fix itself, growing more tattered by the minute as new slashes and old bullet holes make a mess of it.
“So you are not just a pretty face, there’s some skills there.” You frown, anger flaring, and you are about to say something, but with a quick move that you have no opportunity to block, and that truly demonstrates the difference between the two of you, he nicks you with just the tip of the katana, just on the left corner of your mouth. You startle, but on instinct your tongue goes out to lick at the blood now sliding down to your skin. It just gives you more motivation to strike back, a big one that leaves behind what could almost be called a titty window on his chest, showing textured skin underneath.
“Ohhhh, freaky.” Red taunts, slicing your chest too, though your skin doesn’t heal when metal connects after slicing through your shirt like it was made of nothing. You curse, adrenaline causing your ears to roar, and the world to go a little fuzzy at the edges. You touch your chest, fingers coming back bloody, watching Red. Your own katana pointing towards the floor, ready, but down as you breathe heavily.
“Leaving yourself all open for me? You shouldn’t have.” Red coos, and that is what you are counting on. Letting him attack you straight on, thinking you have given up, so you can shove the katana through his skull, killing him again, and leaving you at least a few moments to high tail it out of there.
It’s what the plan is.
It does not work out like you intend it to.
It goes in a whole new direction.
Because when he comes close enough, you manage to get a hold on his shoulder, which gets you a hopefully not deadly slice over your abdomen for your efforts. You are moving quickly, seconds away from stabbing the katana through the bottom of his jaw. But then your for once gloveless fingers touch a bare spot on his shoulder where his suit had gotten torn, and there’s a sparkler going off in your brain, a sizzling sensation that settles in the back of your head as feelings of excitement, adrenaline, and happiness that are not your own speeds through your mind.
You gasp out loud.
You can’t help yourself.
Because you know what that was.
And there is no fucking way.
WHAT.
THE.
ABSOLUTE.
FUCK.
Fucking no.
A soulmate.
You have a fucking soulmate??????
And this is how you fucking meet him????
In all of your turmoil, you have dropped the katana that was destined to go through Red’s skull. He is a few paces behind you, not immediately attacking, just watching you as you turn around in your now mostly frozen state.
“Wh-”
“Touch me.” Red blinks, owlishly even with the white eyes of his mask.
“Wow, so forward. You know, con-”
“Shut the fuck up.” You march over to him, and in what seems to be confusion he lets you tug the glove of his hand that is not holding his katana. You interlace your fingers, the motion absurdly tender for the moment that is currently playing out. You see his eyes widen behind the mask, and you are sure his mouth opens and closes several times even hidden as it is.
“What the fuck.” The words are so soft out his mouth that you are not even sure he said them. Not that it matters, because a second later he is wrenching his hand back like you burned him. He runs past you, and you watch as he picks up his katana where you dropped it, and then keeps running after that brief slowdown, heading towards a door you hadn’t noticed while you were fighting. You startle yourself into action finally, following him, but he’s out the door before you can reach him.
On the other side there’s a hallway, and his back is quickly retreating, and all you feel is panic. You are not sure which of you it is coming from.
You try to keep up with him through multiple hallways, but he’s fast, getting out of the building before you do. It’s enough of a headstart that you only see backlights and hear the roar of a motorcycle speeding away.
You run over to where the cars you all arrived in earlier are parked, but of fucking course all tires are slashed. Not like you had any of the keys anyway, but they would have been easy enough to find in some dead man's pockets.
“Fucking MOTHERFUCKER!” You know he can’t hear you, but you hope Red feels your frustration through your bond as you punch the hood of a car, denting the metal.
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: I had a ton of fun when I first this chapter -- it was my first opportunity to let the guys shine as characters. They all kind of cemented their own storylines here for me. It's wicked long, but I didn't want to split the dates up, so please enjoy!
Chapter 3 -- ...Often Go Awry
First dates are tough. How about seven of them?
You sat on a bench downtown, waiting for Taehyung to show up. In the heart of the city, there was a park nearby and plenty of restaurants. Your city's historic architecture was on full display. The weekly farmer's market was set up on a blocked off section of street. Two blocks away was a walking path by the river. You had to admit, Taehyung had chosen a wonderful part of your hometown. Glancing at the time, you realized Taehyung was late. Not a big deal, but he had sounded excited when he called to plan, and didn't seem like he'd be late for this. Your phone buzzed
You stood up to look around. The plaza where you sat was busy, filled with tourists and business people getting in late to work. You couldn't see Taehyung anywhere. Someone shouted your name. You looked to see a guy in loose gray pants and a boldly printed button down jogging towards you. A face mask and sunglasses hid his face.
Taehyung [9:06am]: I'm here but I can't find you. Are you here?
You [9:07am]: I'm on a bench near the purple flowers. Where are you?
"It's me, Noona. It's Taehyung," he whispered once he was next to you, quickly pulling his sunglasses and mask off so you could recognize him. He repositioned them immediately. You realized he was wearing them, at least in part, to hide his face away. How famous were these guys if they had to wear disguises while going out?
"You chose a great area to visit," you said.
"Thanks. I wasn't sure what you like to do, so I wanted to have different options," he said shyly. "Is there something specific you want to do?"
"I come down here pretty often, so I'm okay with whatever you want to do. Do you want to see something specific?"
"Nothing specific."
You internally groaned at his answer. This was starting to feel like those lazy summer days when Ally and you would waste hours simply going around in a circle of indecision: What do you wanna do – I dunno, what do you want to do.
"I really just want to talk with you." His voice was gentle, as if he knew that this entire thing was difficult for you. "I want to get to know you."
His honesty hurt you. You bit your lip and glanced at him, suddenly regretting that you couldn't see his expression. You were against being his soulmate, but you weren't cruel.
"How about we walk and talk?" You proposed. "I can show you some of the cool stuff around here and we can talk as we go."
"That sounds nice," he said, happiness returning to his voice.
You started walking toward one of the historical buildings, telling him a little about the history of your city. You pointed out the markers for the walking trail of the historical sites in the area. Taehyung paused at each one for a few moments, soaking in the architectural style and beauty of old buildings.
"Have you always lived here?" He asked
"I have. I moved around a little bit, to go to college and then into a few apartments after graduating, but I've always been in the city." You watch as he touches a centuries old building with care and fascination. "What about you? Where did you grow up?"
He told you about his hometown and his move to Seoul. You continued talking as you moved through the walking trail. Your topics veered toward first date questions, with lots of time spent on hobbies and interests. You were surprised to share a love of amusement parks, and told him about the one several miles outside of the city. Taehyung asked about your family. Unwilling to broach that topic yet, you spoke about Ally and growing up together. You added details about your small group of friends, the five of you still in close contact all these years after high school. Accepting this answer, he told you about his family, speaking at length about his father. He pulled out a photo on his phone of his family to show you, his arms wrapped around his two younger siblings.
Having talked longer than you expected, you encouraged Taehyung to choose a place to grab food. He brought you back to a food truck stationed at the farmer's market. You both ordered and, before the food truck guy could finish saying the total, Taehyung passed him a credit card.
"I can pay for my food," you told him.
"I can pay for your food too," he replied simply.
"I want to pay for my food," you insisted.
"Too late for that," was his smug reply.
"At least let me pay you back."
"Nope."
You two sat down on a patch of grass in the nearby park.
"Actually, you can pay me back," he said with a mischievous smile. "You can pay next time."
You rolled your eyes at his brazenness. While your time together had been unexpectedly pleasant – the conversation flowing naturally and time going quicker than you thought it had – this was only day one of the deal. One nice day with a soulmate did not mean this was worth pursuing.
"I've got a question," you said, after several minutes of quiet while you both ate. "How did you all end up deciding who would come today? I was kind of expecting the decision to be based on age."
Sunglasses and mask were not enough to hide the blush that colored Taehyung's face.
"We put numbers in a hat and picked blindly," he mumbled.
You weren't sure how this made you feel. On one hand, it was about as fair and equal as a system could get. But you still felt a little uneasy. Maybe it was because it reminded you, so boldly, of the odd multi-soulmate situation you were in. Maybe because the simple idea of them having to choose an order for dates made you feel like a contestant on some reality dating show and not a real person. Regardless, you had told them that you didn't care about the order of the dates, so you had no place to complain.
"Can you at least tell me who I'm meeting with tomorrow?" You ask. "Give me time to prepare?"
"I don't think so," he said and took a bite of his food. "I kinda like having you all to myself right now."
He was trying to flirt with you. He seemed to know today went better than planned, and wanted to press his luck. And while he looked beautiful sitting next to you, wavy hair blowing in the breeze and a content smile on his unmasked face – you were indifferent to the soulmate connection, but not blind – you decided not to play this game.
"No worries," you shrugged. "Someone will probably text me later.”
Taehyung made a surprised noise and looked at you. He lowered his sunglasses briefly to look you directly in the eyes.
"Are you having a bad time? Do you want to go home?" His voice became uncertain and nervous. "Are you disappointed that we hung out first?"
"No, none of that!" You were surprised how quickly you wanted to ease his worry. "I just don't like surprises." It was the most vulnerable thing you had said to any of them.
"It's Hoseok tomorrow," he said softly. “Are you excited?”
You weighed the possible answers. You didn't want to hurt him with the truth, that you weren't excited for any of this, at the moment. Taehyung had been nothing but polite and kind all day and you didn't see the need to be cruel. But you felt as though he'd see through a lie.
"I'll see how it goes."
You appreciated that he was accepting of your non-answer. He had been patient all day whenever you evaded a personal question or shifted the conversation in a less painful direction. Under a different circumstance, you could see yourself being his friend. But you shoved that feeling down, knowing that you were stuck as his soul mate, and braced yourself for whatever would come.
When Hoseok called you and told you to get ready for a day at the beach, you were skeptical. Yes, you had been wanting to go to the beach all summer, but your plan was to go with some friends, not your brand new soulmate.
Your brand new soulmate who looked like a goddamn model right now.
Hoseok was all sharp angles and lean muscle. You watched as he set up the beach blankets and umbrella, his unbuttoned shirt showing off his abs. Standing awkwardly with the cooler, you felt like your shorts were clinging to your thick thighs. You were glad you'd worn regular clothes over your bathing suit, the tank top and jean shorts at least doing something to hide your round body. You knew that Hoseok, and the rest of the guys, were objectively attractive. But watching him smile brightly at you as he showed off his beach set up, his legs framed perfectly by swim trunks, it hit you differently. You were far from the type of person a pop star would date. Hopefully, despite his smile and sunny disposition, he would realize that today.
"What do you want to do first?" He asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. “We could go swimming? Or go walk around? I think I saw a pier down there?” He looked at you, eyes excited under the shade of his bucket hat.
“Could we just sit and talk for a little?” You shifted awkwardly on your feet.
The beach was already crowded and neither option he proposed sounded great. You didn’t want to shed the comfort of your clothes yet, but the idea of walking past all these people also made you unsure. Bucket hat disguise or not, Hoseok was stunning and sure to grab attention. He was already getting a few stares. He seemed to notice this though, and cautiously added sunglasses to cover up more when he sat on the blanket. You sat down next to him and hugged your legs to your chest. After a few basic questions, Hoseok laughed.
“I feel a little bad,” he started, “you’re probably going to have to answer the same questions every day.” You chuckled, not having thought of the potential repetition. Hoseok seemed to perk up at your laugh. "Maybe it would've been better if Tae filled us in on some things."
"Taehyung didn't talk about what we did yesterday?" You asked, a little surprised.
"Nah. We all agreed that we'd keep our dates private." Hoseok opened the cooler and pulled out a can of Sprite. He offered it to you, then grabbed one for himself. "It's not that we're against sharing some details, but we weren't sure if you would want us sharing."
"I appreciate that. Honestly, I don't know how I would feel with all of you sharing this. It's not like I can talk to anybody."
"Wait, you have no one to talk with?" He gasped.
"I do, I just can't." Hoseok's head tilted with confusion at your statement. "I mean, I have someone to talk with, but I can't. The NDA, remember? I can't talk to anyone about being your soulmate."
He thought this over for a few minutes, then reached into his bag for his phone. He scrolled through quietly, lips pursed.
"As far as I understand," he started, "you can't talk about being the group's soulmate. You can't mention us specifically." He showed you a copy of the NDA on his phone. "But you could just talk vaguely of your seven soulmates. Is there someone you could trust with this stuff?"
"My best friend."
"You should talk to her."
"She actually has a soulmate," you offered. "Just one though."
Hoseok laughed loudly at your statement and smiled at you. You were glad he wasn't wearing a mask. His smile was too wonderful to hide.
"You should text her," he continued.
Hoseok tossed your phone over and you shot Ally a text. She replied immediately, saying that she could meet that afternoon. You looked at Hoseok, who was laying on his back basking in the sun.
"She says she can meet later today," you said.
"We'll make sure to get back in time."
"Are you sure? It'd mean cutting today short?" You asked, feeling a pang of guilt.
"I'm sure," he said, smiling at you. "You suddenly found out you have seven soulmates, who just happen to be best friends. You deserve to have someone to talk to about this. I know I'd be going crazy if I was in your position."
"I think I am going crazy," you joked and Hoseok laughed. "Thank you," you continued, voice sincere. "I mean it."
Hoseok lowered his glasses and looked straight into your eyes, smiling kindly. You were overcome with the sudden and unusual urge to hug him. You refrained though.
"What do you want to do now?" You asked. He was kind enough to let you ditch his date to go see Ally. The least you could do was be as present as possible during the time you had left.
"Swimming!" Hoseok said and tossed his shirt on the blanket.
You should've expected this answer. This was a beach date after all. You stood up, still in your shorts and tank top, ready to go to the water but not ready to be in your bathing suit. You would be able to get decently far into the water wearing your shorts.
"If you didn't have a bathing suit, you should've said," he started, looking at your outfit. "We could've done something different."
"I have a bathing suit." You lifted up the corner of your shirt to show off the teal and brown patterned tankini. "I just don't want to wear it yet."
"Why not?" Hoseok's brows furrowed.
"Well, y'know…" you hugged your arms and looked off in the distance.
"I don't know."
You sighed. You wished for a brief moment that you were having this conversation with Taehyung; he'd proven yesterday that he was willing to accept cryptic half answers. Jung Hoseok, not so much. Not willing to explain your insecurities, you focused on the sand, stripped off your shorts and tank, and headed to the cover of the water. He chased after you. You continued walking into the water until it covered your stomach. Hoseok, over half a foot taller than you, still had most of his chest bare.
"Hey, what's the matter?" He asked.
"Nothing. Everything's fine." The lie tasted acrid on your tongue.
He looked at you for a few moments, quiet.
"You're not ready to tell us everything," he said quietly. "That's okay. This will take time for all of us."
His voice was unbearably sweet and understanding. You weren't sure how he was reading your mind, but his words soothed you enough to get you back into the moment.
"Tell me about yourself," you said, smiling.
Hoseok was easy to talk with, engaging and expressive despite the sunglasses hiding his eyes. He asked you questions. You found yourself eager not only to answer, but to find out more.
"Wait, you dance?" You interrupted his story. So that was where all his lean muscle came from.
"Yeah," he answered. "And I choreograph too."
"That's so cool! What style?"
He lowered his sunglasses to look at your awed expression.
"You seriously don't know anything about us? As a group?" You shook your head at his question. "You didn't look us up online or anything after we met."
"No," you said. Partially because you were only interested in getting them out of your life as quickly as possible. Partially because researching them made you feel uneasy. "It felt weird digging into your lives online. It's not like you could do that for me. If I want to know something, I could just ask."
"But you haven't." His eyes were sad.
"I'm asking now." It wouldn't take away his hurt, but this was where you were. "Tell me about your dancing, Hoseok."
An expression you couldn't place came across his face when you said his name. Then he smiled, repositioned his sunglasses, and started to talk. He explained dancing growing up, before he was a part of BTS. Slowly, his story transitioned into BTS now, as a group.
"So there's Namjoon, Yoongi and me rapping," he explained quietly, cautious of the other people swimming not too far off. "And then Jin, Jimin, Tae, and Jungkook singing. We also do work on writing and producing our stuff."
You nodded. You didn't know much about music or the music industry, but writing and producing seemed like they would further occupy them with their jobs. More time for work meant less time for being soulmates. Maybe your desire to be left alone was still possible. But, like with Taehyung, you didn't find your time with Hoseok to be terrible. You appreciated the kindness he'd shown you and his flexibility. Friendship, you realized, would be pleasant with him. And, while you were still resistant to being soulmates, you were all right with the idea of being friends.
When you arrived at Ally's house, the first thing you did was fall into her open arms and hug her as tightly as you could, her pregnant stomach stuck between you two. Ally matched your hug and stayed quiet, letting you orient yourself. It was the first time you'd seen each other since that fateful day painting the nursery when Namjoon texted you.
"I have so much to tell you," you said, pulling back finally. "I haven't been completely honest with you about everything. I need your advice."
"About what?" She asked, concerned by your tone. "Your soulmate?"
"Soulmates." You corrected and watched Ally's face twist in confusion. "I have seven soulmates." You summarized what happened after going to meet Namjoon and the insane series of events that led to the first contacts. Ally stayed silent, sitting down and listening intently as you explained the seven date deal you made with them.
"When do you start the dates?" She said finally.
"Yesterday. I went out with one of them yesterday and another today. Today's date was the one who encouraged me to text you."
Ally didn't bother asking why it took you so long to talk to her about it. Your nature was to exhaust every solution to a problem before seeking help. She's been your friend long enough to not take offense to how you functioned.
"I'm glad he did," she said. "I don't know how you coped this long."
"I'm honestly not coping. My head's a mess and I still have five more dates."
"What are you feeling right now?"
It was a simple question, but you hadn't stopped long enough in the last four days to take stock of your emotions. You had returned home so emotionally exhausted the past few days that all you'd been able to do was shower, attempt to eat something, and fall into an unrestful night of sleep. Ally stayed quiet and let you think.
"I'm confused," you finally said. "I feel like 90% of me wants nothing more than to get these five remaining dates over with and then say goodbye to them forever. But the other 10% thinks that spending time with–" you cut yourself off before accidentally naming Taehyung and Hoseok, "with Chime Guy and Laugh Dude was a little nice. Like I could be friends with them in another life."
"And how did you feel before the dates?"
"All I wanted was for them to leave me alone."
"What do you think will happen after the rest of the dates?"
"That's what I'm afraid of. What if I don't want them to go away anymore?" You asked, voice shaking. "What if I want to be their friend? What if they want to be romantic? Shit. What if I want that?" Ally placed her hand on your arm, trying to settle you as you spiraled into a panic. "I can't do that. I can't be their soulmate!"
"Don't think that far ahead," Ally said, firm but loving. "You have five more days before making any decisions. That's plenty of time. I'm sure if you decide you only want friendship, then they'll figure out how to navigate that. Platonic love is real and legitimate."
"I've never heard of platonic soulmates."
"And I've never heard of one person having seven soulmates, but here we are."
You knew Ally was trying to make you laugh, but you felt more like crying.
"I don't want a soulmate," you whispered. "I don't want this."
Ally wrapped her arms around you again and you laid your head on her shoulder.
"I know you never wanted a soulmate," she said softly. "You are trying to see these dates through. And I know how hard this is for you. But remember that you don't have to do this." You looked at her, confused. Ally was the first person to encourage you to give having a soulmate a try. "I don't want to see you hurting like this. You don't deserve to hurt this much. So if you need to take a break between dates, tell them. I'm sure they'll understand."
"They're leaving to go back home after the dates. If we don't figure this out now, I don't know if we ever will."
"It'll get worked out. They can come back or you can visit them for a little. Jay and I have a million frequent flier miles you can use. We'll figure this out."
Trying to take the reassurance Ally was offering, you nodded and thanked her. Ally hugged you as you left, making you promise to call her at any point. She was able to read the heavy look on your face, but didn't push you to talk more. You were honestly feeling more confused and upset than when you arrived, uncorking your emotions doing nothing positive in your current state.
Waking up the next morning was worse than you anticipated. Another night of failed sleep left you grumpy, and the hours spent awake contemplating your soulmate situation made you anxious. Realizing nothing could make this better, but needing to be functional, you left your bedroom to start the coffee pot. This didn't help. Your little common room was a wreck. Half folded laundry was on the table. The few groceries you had bought days ago sat, uncooked and spoiling in your fridge. Dirty dishes from the few times you'd managed to eat cluttered the sink. You desperately needed to sweep. You sat down, defeated. You would love a day to yourself, just to get some stuff done and maybe take a nap. Realistically, you knew Ally was right when she suggested taking a break, but you couldn't find a way to make that happen. There was so much to do and you hadn't had any energy or mental capacity to take it on. This situation was overwhelming from the start, and now you felt like you were sinking. You started to cry.
Your phone started to ring. Seeing that the screen said Seokjin, you picked up reluctantly.
"Good morning soulmate," his cherry voice came through.
"Morning," you mumbled, voice unsteady.
"What's the matter?" Seokjin's tone changed quickly. "Why are you crying?"
"I'm okay," you said, trying to wipe your tears away. "Everything's good."
"That's a lie. I can hear you crying."
You willed yourself to calm down before answering. The last thing you wanted was to have this conversation with any of your soulmates. But you simply started to cry harder. Jin called your name softly.
"Where are you right now? Are you hurt?" You could hear movement in the background of his call. "Did something happen? It'll be okay, just tell me what's going on."
"I'm at home," you finally managed to say through your tears.
"Okay, okay," Seokjin said calmly. "Who's with you? Are you safe?"
Deep down, you wanted to laugh. The question Ally asked you so frequently sounded odd coming from another.
"Keep talking to me," Seokjin said.
"I just-I just have so much to do," you cried. Maybe not the root cause, but it was a factor. "I need to cook but there are dishes and the floor is dirty and-and-and" you found yourself gasping for air.
"Hey, it's gonna be okay," Seokjin soothed. "We can get all that done."
"But I have to see you today! And then tomorrow I'll be out with someone so–"
"We can get the stuff done," he repeated, cutting off your rambling. "Just tell me where you live." You started to say something else, but he kept talking. "Where do you live?" You mumbled your address and Seokjin repeated it back. "I'll see you in an hour, okay? Just relax until I get there."
Unsure of what he was planning, but not having the care to contemplate it more, you laid your head down on your table and continued to spiral. Why had you agreed to these dates? It was a waste of your time. At the end of this, you would say goodbye and have nothing left but a disgusting apartment and burnout. And, with the school year starting in a few weeks, you’d have to return to your tutoring job. There were bills to pay, money to save so you could move on with your life. You didn’t need these seven men ruining your goals. But, a small voice nagged in the back of your head, there was a small possibility that you stayed in each others’ lives, even if just as friends. Which, logically, would be tragic. Eight busy lives spread out across thousands of miles was sure to result in you being abandoned when they were too busy. And you didn’t want to give them that power.
Eventually, your phone buzzed. You ignored it and it buzzed again.
You opened your front door, surprised to see Seokjin standing in the hallway of your apartment complex. He had on a gray t-shirt and jeans, his face covered by a mask and a wide brimmed hat.
Seokjin [9:48am]: I'm outside your apartment. I think.
Seokjin [9:49am]: Can you come to the door to check?
"What are you doing here?" You asked.
"I told you, we can accomplish everything you need to do," Seokjin answered, as if it was apparent. "Can I come in?"
Shocked, you moved aside. He took his shoes off and arranged them carefully near where yours were. Then you noticed the two brown paper bags in his hands.
"What's in the bags?"
"You said you need to cook, but I wasn't sure if you had anything here. So I picked up some stuff," he answered nonchalantly. As if what he said answered your many questions.
"But what about our date? We're supposed to go out today."
"We're going to have our date. I'm not forfeiting our time together." Seokjin looked at you, taking off his hat and mask. "We'll just spend it here. You have tasks that are stressing you out. And I just want to spend time together. We can do both. I can help."
Despite the sincerity in his tone, Seokjin's plan made you recoil. You did not want to have any of them come to your apartment, let alone when it was such a mess. The thought of having Seokjin – who, despite being your soulmate, was essentially a stranger – help you do chores made you uncomfortable.
"It's okay," you protested. "I can figure it out. We should do what you originally planned."
"It is not okay. You're still crying," he pointed out. You wiped at your eyes quickly. "I don't want to do what I had planned. Forget that I had a plan. This is what I want to do "
You wrapped your arms around yourself and looked at him. He stared back at you, his eyes earnest. Why was this celebrity insisting on helping you clean? Still unsure if you were okay with this, you remained quiet.
"Well, I want to get stuff in the fridge before it goes bad," Seokjin said, charging ahead.
You followed him mindlessly as he opened your refrigerator door and started to unpack the grocery bags. Fresh fruits and vegetables. Eggs. A package of chicken. Some ground beef. Admittedly, things you needed, things you would eat. He moved from the fridge and pulled out more groceries. Rice. Jarred tomato sauce. A few cans of soup. Dried pasta. A box of crackers. Peanut butter.
"I wasn't sure what you like or eat, so I tried to stick to the basics," he said simply. "Well, except for the meat. I saw you eat chicken at the hotel, so I figured you weren't a vegetarian."
"Thanks," you mumbled. You looked closer at the labels, saying words like Organic and All Natural. Descriptions like that were typically out of your price range. The next words slipped out before you could stop them. "You shouldn't have wasted all this money on me."
Seokjin snapped around, his mouth in a tight frown.
"I did not waste this money. I wanted to make sure you had enough food."
"But you didn't –"
"But nothing," Seokjin cut you off. "We threw your entire world off balance. You've essentially done nothing but spend time with us for the past three days, and you'll still have to dedicate four more days to us after this. The least I can do is make sure you get through this week with as little damage as possible."
Fresh tears started to flow. You weren't used to this. Asking someone else, someone new and untrusted, for help was something you hadn't done since childhood. When you needed help, Ally and Jay would come. Over the many years of your friendship, Ally had learned how to detect your needs, and, more importantly, when to ignore your protests. Jay, the dedicated soulmate, followed her lead. But here in your kitchen, after barely three days of knowing each other, Kim Seokjin instinctively knew your needs and was fighting to fulfill them.
"Oh no, no," he said softly, coming over to you. "I didn't mean to make you cry." He moved to touch your shoulder, but stopped short, perhaps remembering the time you shirked his hug. Instead he pulled out a chair and motioned for you to sit. You did, still crying. "Have you eaten yet today?" You shook your head. A bottled smoothie appeared in front of you and Seokjin sat across from you. You took a few sips, the first food you'd eaten since breakfast yesterday. Despite your racing emotions, it settled easily in your stomach. "How was visiting your friend yesterday?"
"How do you know about that? Hoseok said that you guys weren't talking about your dates." Had Hoseok lied to you? It was a dumb thing to lie about, as you hadn't expected the privacy from them.
"We aren't. But when he came back home so early yesterday, we got worried that something bad had happened. He tried to reassure us without talking about your conversation, but Jimin was so panicked that something went wrong. He was about to call you to make sure you were okay. Hobi explained just to shut him up."
"Oh," you said softly, unsure about how to feel. You had started this week hoping all the dates would go poorly, but they were worried that one had, potentially, gone sour. The seven guys seemed more invested than you expected. Jimin’s actions made you sigh. You weren't sure when you would see him, but you were sure that he was eager for the date. Seokjin cleared his throat and you realized you hadn't answered his original question. "It was fine. Even if I couldn't say everything or solve anything, I think it was good to at least talk about this. To remember that I have someone in my corner."
"You…" Seokjin paused, his lips pursed, contemplating what to say. "You'll have to call her again tonight," he said with a smile. "Tell her how handsome I am."
You laughed. He was incredibly handsome, like some sort of Disney prince with his dark eyes, plump lips, and broad shoulders. But you weren't expecting him to be so up front about it.
"Handsome and willing to do chores," you joked. "It's a decent combo."
"Speaking of chores, I came here to be helpful. Where do you want to start?"
"How do you feel about washing dishes, Mr. Kim Seokjin?"
"Call me Jin," he smiled. I'll wash them if you dry?"
The two of you quickly settled into your work. You were pleasantly surprised at how willing Seokjin – Jin – was to do whatever tasks you asked. He dusted the corners of your apartment, which were too high for you to reach. He helped move furniture so you could clean and mop your floors thoroughly. You talked to each other as you felt necessary, neither feeling the need to be conversing constantly. But Jin would tell a joke every so often, or one of you would ask a question. It was the most comfortable you'd felt since meeting them.
"Have you read all of these?" Jin called out from your common room.
You looked out of your bedroom where you were folding laundry to see Jin standing with a duster in front of your overburdened bookshelf.
"Pretty much," you said. There's a few on my to-read list, but I try to only buy ones I like. Do you like to read?"
"Not this much," he laughed. "But you should talk books with Namjoon. He loves to read."
You made a noncommittal noise. You were sincerely enjoying Jin's company, but you didn't want to think about the upcoming days. Jin noticed though.
"You getting hungry? Because I am," he changed the subject.
You looked at your phone, surprised to see that it was now mid-afternoon. It'd been several hours since you two had started chores. For the first time in a while, you were actually hungry.
"Food sounds good," you said, nodding.
"What's good around here? I remember some of the places we ordered from at the hotel, but I don't know if they'll deliver here."
"Let's just cook," you suggested. "You bought all this food already."
Jin seemed pleased with this option. Moving into the kitchen, you took an inventory of the items that he’d brought earlier. Grabbing an onion, some peppers, and the ground beef from the fridge, you placed them on the counter. From the cupboard you pulled out the jarred sauce and a box of pasta.
"Pasta and meatballs sound good?" You suggested.
"Sounds im-pasta-bly good," Jin said, making you giggle. It hadn't been his first pun of the day, but your laughter encouraged him to continue. "What can I do?"
"Dice the onion and peppers? I'll make the meatballs."
Starting on his task, Jin started to whistle a melody you didn't recognize. It was pleasant though. Seasoning and mixing the ground beef, you were content to continue working in quiet, only with occasional instructions going back and forth. At one point, while standing over the stove cooking the meatballs, you glanced towards Jin. The vision of him, broad, handsome, and completely at ease in your apartment shook you. In another world, maybe this could have been your life. If Jin hadn't been your soulmate, you could see this working. Standing in your kitchen, comfortable and content, cooking with a man who was oddly attuned to you. Maybe you would've met him during college, or through work. Maybe he would have been one of Jay's college friends you met at their wedding. You could see your life with Jin, if only you hadn't had first contact.
"Thank you, Jin," you said, "for everything today. This turned out to be what I needed."
"I'm glad to have helped," he smiled warmly down at you. "I want you to know that I'm on your side too."
Internally, worry ran through your head. Why would Jin say this? Would he still side with you when you broke it off with the group? Did this mean he wanted to just be friends? A nervous cloud settled over your memories from today. Why had he acted like this at all – come to your house, help you clean? It didn't make logical sense to you.
Jin called your name softly, and you realized you were breathing quickly. His eyes were sad. He could tell you were starting to struggle. You looked away, embarrassed at ruining the easier mood you'd established.
"Don't overthink this, okay?" He whispered, ducking his head to try to catch your eyes. "I want to be here for you. Let me try?" You nodded, not trusting yourself to talk. Having Jin as an ally would be nice,. Trusting him, if you risked it, could be wonderful.
You slept shockingly well that night. You felt lighter after your date with Jin, some of the recent pressures attended to and the first substantial meal all week. The amount you laughed at Jin's jokes probably helped too. You slept past your alarm, waking up gently to the sound of the kids the floor below you playing. Grabbing your phone, you checked your texts. Jimin's date was today and you expected a series of texts from the excitable young man. But you found nothing. No texts explaining his plans for the day, nothing asking you what you wanted to do. Not even the good morning text he normally sent at 8am sharp. Confused, but not willing to text him yourself, you started to get ready. Maybe Jin had spoken to them about your date yesterday. You wouldn't blame him, you'd been an absolute wreck yesterday. Jin seemed like he would give the others notice about your state. Maybe they were scared off by your breakdown. That thought made you pause. In any other scenario, you'd be livid about being judged for your mental health but if that was what pushed your soulmates away from you, then perhaps an exception could be made.
As you bit into a piece of fruit Jin had brought you, someone knocked at the door. You cracked it open, not sure who was there. Someone wearing a bucket hat and a face mask stood there, fiddling with his phone.
"Can I help you?" You asked.
Looking up, the stranger shouted your name and pulled off his mask and hat Jimin. Park fucking Jimin was standing at your front door, smiling as though this was the best day of his life. You yanked him into your apartment. You typically didn't have many visitors, and didn't want the nosey elderly couple taking note of the strangers stopping by.
*How the hell do you know where I live, Jimin?" You tried not to shout, but you were frustrated. Had Jin told the others your address? You didn't explicitly tell him to keep it a secret, and you figured he would talk a little bit about his day, but there was no need to disclose where you lived.
"Well, Namjoon-hyung was in the room when Jin-hyung was on the phone with you. He overhead your address when Jin confirmed it." Jimin blushes a little and rubbed his hand through his hair. "You'll find out really fast the Namjoon can't keep a secret. He's the worst at it. So it's really more Jin's fault for talking about it around him."
You couldn't wait for your date with Namjoon. Then you could strangle him.
"What's your plan for today?" You sighed, wanting to get Jimin out of your apartment as soon as possible. You hoped he didn't plan to spend the day here. While you appreciated Jin's help yesterday, you wanted as few memories of them here as possible.
"I was hoping you could show me around. Take me to the places you like to go." Jimin blushed brightly. "The places that are important to you."
It was a reasonable request, and it'd get you out of the apartment. There weren't a lot of places you could take him, maybe four or five places scattered around the city, but it was a start. So you started with the park near your apartment. Jimin was attentive and eager at each stop, asking questions constantly as you went. He talked about himself as you asked, or jumped in with stories relating to what you said. After a final stop, you sat with him on the riverwalk, not too far from where your date with Taehyung had been.
"Where did you grow up?" Jimin asked, taking a bite of the food you two had gotten.
"Here, actually," you said.
"Really?" Jimin's face lit up with an idea. "Can we go see your old house? Can I meet your parents? I want to introduce myself."
"No." His words grabbed your heart. You struggled to take a breath.
"I don't have to meet them–"
"No."
"–just get a peak at where you grew up?"
"I'm not going back there!"
Jimin stopped talking. He looked at you, eyes confused by your harsh reaction. As he took in your changed posture, his stare turned from confused to concerned. You were curled in on yourself, shoulders hunched and head down. You were shaking. Jimin reached out towards you, as if he wanted to comfort you somehow, but let his hand fall before he touched you. Instead, he whispered your name.
"I'm not going back there," you repeated, more in an effort to reassure yourself than to tell Jimin. "I won't go back."
"You don't have to go back," Jimin said softly. "You don't have to go anywhere. I was just joking. We won't go there. It's okay." You heard Jimin gasp and he grabbed your wrist. "Don't do that!"
You jolted out of your thoughts and looked to Jimin. His face was pale. He stared at your left arm, now red with scratches and bleeding slightly. Shit. You pulled your wrist away from him, but he let it go easily.
"Give me a minute?" You said, quickly standing up. "I'll be back!"
You heard Jimin call after you as you walked away, but you didn't look back at him. You cursed vibrantly under your breath as you went to find a bathroom to wash your bloodied arm and nails. This date had gone from bad to catastrophic. Part of you wanted to curse Jimin and his damned eagerness for talking about your family, but the terror in his face after seeing your reaction was enough of a penance. You had wanted to get through these seven dates without talking about your parents, but Jimin busted through those plans. Jimin was the secondary cause of your entire soulmate situation. You swore again, this time loudly, as you rinsed off your arm, and banged your fist on the counter. Jimin was almost as bad at screwing up your life as Namjoon was. You contemplated just leaving him sitting on the bank alone, and calling this whole deal off. You hadn't signed anything to promise them these dates. If you left now, blocked their numbers, and stayed at Ally's until they left town, there wasn't much they could do. They probably wouldn't sue. Their lawyers seemed to want to keep this a secret as much as you did. But Jimin's scared face was plastered in your mind. The desire you felt the first time you were alone with him, the desire to calm and reassure him, fluttered back. At least you could tell him that you were okay before leaving.
Walking out of the bathroom, you immediately saw Jimin. He stood on the other side of the path, as if he'd been watching each person walk in and out in order to find you.
"I followed you because I was scared th–"
"It's okay, Jimin."
"No it's not! I'm sorry that I badgered you over that. I don't know why I said those things. But I'm so sorry! I never meant for that to happen."
"It's not your fault," you said after he'd gotten his rushed apology out. "You had no way to know I would react like that." This conversation felt vaguely familiar. "Don't blame yourself."
"What did I do wrong?" Jimin's voice shook, and his eyes looked like he was on the verge of tears.
"You did nothing wrong."
"But you–"
"Let's sit," you interrupted.
Not waiting to see if he followed, but figuring that he would, you walked to a bench by the river. No one else was around it and you wanted privacy. As expected, he sat down immediately after you took your seat. His loyalty made you sigh. You wished, not for the last time that day, that this sweet man had become soulmates with someone other than you. He watched you, expectantly but not willing to push any further. He looked as if he would wait forever for you to start speaking. It'd been years since you told this story and, though the details never left your memory, it was always hard to find the right words.
"My father is an abusive alcoholic. I don't have many memories of him being anything other than drunk and mean." Jimin said nothing, just folded his hands on his lap and let you speak. "That combination fueled him, it ran in his blood. And my mother is completely in love with him." You paused, not understanding why you were telling him this. You stared off at the river. "They met when they were older. My mom had always hoped to have a soulmate, it was all she ever wanted out of life. So having a first contact was like a dream come true for her. When I got old enough to ask tough questions, to try and understand why she didn't leave, she practically laughed in my face. Told me I'd understand when I found my soulmate. So she stayed. And I was too young to do anything else other than stay. I spent my entire childhood watching a man beat and berate the woman his soul was tied to. He treated me more like a punching bag than his child."
You paused, hearing a noise come from Jimin. He had tears pouring from his eyes, wetting his face mask.
"Did no one try to help?" He asked through his tears.
"People tried, but nothing worked. I went to school once with a broken wrist, then the teacher noticed that I was breathing weirdly. She sent me to the school nurse. Found out I had two broken ribs. The teacher called the cops. My father said I tripped down the stairs. My mother agreed. The nurse tried a few months later. Came to school with a black eye and a bloody nose. They said I ran into a wall while playing.
"Ally, my best friend, helped the most. She somehow, even as a little kid, noticed that I would come to school already hurt, but never get hurt at the playground. She mentioned it to her mom. Her mom started paying attention, always asking me about whatever bruises or cuts I had. Her first time calling the cops was a summer afternoon I'd come over to play. I was so hungry. When her mom asked what I had for lunch, I told her the truth. My father had taken my breakfast and lunch away. I hadn't learned to lie yet. I remember her fighting with the officer while I ate the food she made. She always made food when I came over after that. Still does."
You stopped talking finally. Jimin's head was in his hands. His body was shaking. He gasped as he cried. You wanted to laugh a little bit – you spent so much time crying this week, but this left you emotionless. Numb from thinking about the past. But, as you watched Jimin cry, you felt guilt creeping in. Maybe it was wrong to have told him this. He didn't need this knowledge, especially if you were still planning on leaving at the end.
"I didn't mean to make you cry," you told him. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" His voice shook. "You shouldn't have to apologize for anything. People should apologize to you. You didn't deserve that."
You shrugged. This discussion was relatively constant in your life. Logically, you had already come to terms with Jimin's statement.
"I haven't talked to them in almost ten years," you offered, hoping to soothe him.
"Good. They don't deserve to be around you." His dedication warmed your heart a little. "Who else knows?"
"Ally. Her husband has picked up on a lot, but I never explicitly told him. Maybe she has. A few friends definitely have their suspicions. You."
"You've only told two people about this?" He asked, wiping the tears from his eyes. You nodded. "None of the other guys know either?"
"Please don't tell them."
You felt guilty enough telling Jimin, let alone the others. You hoped that Jimin would stop worrying once you left his life. Jimin looked at you, processing your request. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. You waited in silence.
"I won't tell them," he said finally. "But will you?"
"When I need to," you answered.
He accepted this answer, which was based on the plan that you would never need to. His eyes left you and he turned to look at the river. Unsure of what he was thinking, you waited for Jimin to speak next. You felt exhausted. You closed your eyes and let the quiet surround you.
"Is that why you don't want us?"
Jimin might as well have stabbed you. You weren't prepared for him to explicitly question your motivations. Weren't aware that he picked up on your desire to end this situation. If he knew, did the others? Why was he trying so thoroughly to get to know you if he understood your plan? Why did he stay to hear your story? Unsure of many things, you decided that Jimin's diligence should at least earn him the truth.
"Yes. I refuse to let a soulmate bond control me. I won't stay with anyone just because of a first contact."
"I wish," Jimin started to speak, then stopped himself. "I wish there was enough time to prove that we're not like that. I wish that we could have a chance. We'd never hurt you, we could show you that."
"I don't know if that can be proven," you told him. You felt odd. Yesterday had started off so terribly, but you enjoyed your day. Today, probably your nicest morning in a while, turned completely sour. Realizing that you wanted this to be over, you stood up and faced Jimin one last time. "I wish your first contact was with someone else. You deserve to be happy." Then you left.
Yoongi called you late the next morning. Late enough for you to have wondered if the day's date was actually going to happen.
"I want to see if you actually want to hang out today?" He asked. "Jimin was in rough shape last night and I want to check in."
"What did Jimin say?"
"Nothing. But we could tell he'd been crying. He went straight to his room when he got back. Tae tried to talk with him, but he wouldn't say a word."
"I'm sorry he was so upset." You felt guilty that your date had effected Jimin so intensely.
Yoongi made a small noise in response. "It's why I wanted to talk. See if you feel up for doing something today?"
"What if I said I wasn't?"
"Then I'd do something else. Let you rest."
His answer caught your attention. You hadn't meant your question to be any type of indicator, but Yoongi surprised you. Giving up his date so that you could rest was an unexpected offer.
"I'm okay," you answered honestly. "We can hang out."
"How about something low-key? We could watch a movie?"
"That sounds nice." A movie meant minimal time talking, less questions that could lead to horrible conversations.
"Do you want to come to the hotel? We can hang out in my room." He paused, then laughed a little. "I can't promise that the others wouldn't stop by if we were here though. Or I can come to your apartment?"
"How do you know," you started to ask, then realized the answer. "Namjoon told you?"
"Namjoon told me."
"Are you okay coming here?"
Though you initially planned to never have any of them over, Yoongi's hotel plan seemed worse. He acknowledged the likelihood of your date being interrupted. And, while you weren't passionate about alone time with Yoongi, you wanted to avoid turning the manageable solo date into a chaotic group date. And, between Jin and Jimin, your previous plan had become obsolete.
"Sounds good. I'll text you when I arrive."
The thought of texting Jin quickly, to thank him again for his help, crossed your mind. With your apartment clean and your fridge stocked, you felt as comfortable as you could with Yoongi coming over. Though you were sure that the couple next door would start gossiping. Three strange visitors in three days was unheard of for you. You laughed to yourself, remembering the times they called your landlady when Ally visited too frequently for their liking. Though you were quiet and mostly kept to yourself, their dislike of noise, or anything that could disturb them, kept them vigilant. With this amount of visitors, they were probably going to call your landlady and accuse you of something ridiculous – selling drugs or prostitution. Admittedly, pissing them off was an unexpected advantage of your current situation.
Your phone buzzed with a text from Yoongi announcing his arrival. When you opened the door, he greeted you by holding up a tray with two coffees and a small paper bag.
"I brought coffee," he said simply as he toed his shoes off and placed his backpack down He pulled off his beanie and facemask. "I wasn't sure how you take yours," he said, slightly blushing, "so I just got it black."
"Thanks," you said, taking a cup from him. "I've got stuff to put in it. Do you want anything for yours?" You turned away to go fix your coffee properly.
"I'm good. And I brought muffins." He placed the paper bag next to you.
You pulled them out and, unsure of which he preferred, simply set them on a plate for choosing. Sipping your coffee, you glanced at him. He was leaning against your counter, completely relaxed, and looking at your common room. The pictures on your walls. The framed posters. Things which were up when Jin and Jimin visited, but you weren't sure if they'd taken notice of. Yoongi did, slowly walking up to one poster and inspecting it with piercing eyes.
"I've never heard of this movie," he said.
"That's because it's not a movie," you said. "Well, not at first. They made it into a movie." He looked at you, an eyebrow raised in a question. "It's a musical."
"A musical?" He repeated.
Unable to decipher his tone, not sure if he was confused or judgemental. You blushed a little, though. You weren't sure you wanted to discuss your taste in music with a famous pop star.
"Like musical theatre? A play where people burst into song and dance."
"I've heard of it," he answered. "I've just never listened to it. Or know anyone who does.". He paused, giving your poster a final glance, then looked at you. "So that's what you listen to. But not our music?" His tone wasn't mean, but an even statement of fact.
"It's not that I don't like your stuff. What I've heard is good. It's just not what I normally listen to."
"Which is this?" Once again, not angry or judgemental, just clarifying. You nodded. "Can I hear?"
"Uh, sure," you said hesitantly. You pulled out your phone and started scrolling through the music you had downloaded on it. Looking for something that would impress him. "I don't know if you'll like it. It's a lot different from rap."
"I want to hear it for myself. From someone who's passionate about it."
An idea popped into your head and you went to your laptop on the table. Opening up a new browser tab, you started typing. As he watched you search, Yoongi sat down next to you.
"There's a great clip, just give me a second to find it," you explained.
"They're taped?"
"Sometimes."
"Then let's just watch a show."
"Are you sure?" You felt your face light up at his simple suggestion. "We can watch a regular movie if you prefer."
"No, I want to see this."
Quickly, you pulled up an old recording of a musical by one of your favorite composers.
"It's a little longer," you said. "The couch would probably be more comfortable."
Calling it a couch was generous, it was a battered old love seat given to you by Ally's parents when they refurbished their living room several years back. It was probably as old as you, lumpy, and still had the stain from the time Ally and you spilled nachos on it in middle school. But it was free and it was a suitable size for your small common room, so you were content. Yoongi didn't complain though, watching from his new position as you set your laptop up to play from a small end table. He ran his hand over the blanket draped over the back.
"If you don't like it, just say," you said as you sat and moved a throw pillow onto your lap. "We'll watch something else if you don't like it. Just say when you want to stop."
"I'll never have any opinion if you don't start the movie," he said.
You took a deep breath and pressed play. The opening number started, but you kept your eyes on Yoongi. An odd hope sprung up in you, wanting him to appreciate your favorite type of music. Regardless, you watched his face for any indicator of what he thought. Unfortunately, though, his face revealed nothing. He simply pushed his cheek-length bangs behind his ears and shifted himself to find a more comfortable position. After fifteen or twenty minutes, he reached out and pressed pause. Your breath caught in your throat, ready for criticism.
"Do they sing the entire way through?"
"For this one, they do. Others switch between singing and talking. We can turn it off."
"I don't want to turn it off. I was just curious."
He pressed play and settled back. It took the entire first half of the musical for you to relax. You held your breath at every joke, wondering if he would find it funny. You watched his face intently, trying to decipher what he was feeling, but you couldn't see past his stoicism. As the act one finale ended, you paused it.
"There's more," you said, "but we can stop here if you want." He had indulged in your show for longer than you anticipated, but you weren't willing to force him through the next half. Ready to hear him shut your passion down and critique your music. Yoongi said nothing, just pressed play again. You hadn't been expecting that. So you leaned back and tried to enjoy the second part. When it finally ended, you looked at him, cautiously hopeful.
"That was different. I've never seen something like that," he said. "But it was good. Definitely objectively good." He noticed how you hung on, waiting for his opinion. "I liked it."
His appreciation had a visible effect on you. You felt a smile come across your face, and your breathing finally relaxed. Yoongi asked a few questions as he crossed the room to grab a muffin. You answered each with a shocking amount of excitement. The simple facts that he had listened and he didn't dismiss it immediately created a new fondness for him, a feeling you wanted to fight but weren't able to at that moment.
"Would you listen to something if I gave it to you?" Yoongi asked.
"Pull up whatever you want," you told him, pushing your laptop towards him.
"Not yet. I want to be careful with what I show you. I'll get some stuff to you by when we see each other next."
You nodded your head. This produced the first genuine smile you had seen from him, soft and wide and gummy. For a brief moment, you could see yourself with him, drinking coffee and exchanging music, introducing each other to your favorite songs. It was a dangerous thought though, so you tried to shut it down quickly, knowing that it'd probably be best if this was the last time you did this. You would miss it though.
You were on your phone, double checking the address Jungkook texted you for a meeting spot. It was, of all places in town, an old bowling alley. You had been here a lot throughout your childhood. Ally's dad loved bowling and you were frequently invited on their excursions. Waiting for Jungkook to show up, you wondered if it still smelled like stale popcorn, boiled hot dogs, and the weird spray they used on the shoes. You hoped it did. You watched a tall guy walk towards you, black shorts and long sleeved shirt, topped off with a purple bucket hat and a face mask. At this point, you were familiar with their disguises. Jungkook. And, if you were unsure, the smattering of tattoos on his hand proved his identity.
"Hey Jungkook."
"Hi Noona," he said. "It's nice to see you."
You smiled at him and his manners. Heading in, you talked about safe topics. The weather. How he was spending his spare time in the city. What recommendations you had for other things to do, or places to eat. As the attendant handed the bowling shoes over, you reached for your wallet. Jungkook beat you though, handing the old man a wad of cash. You decided not to protest; you had given that up after your disagreement with Hoseok over him buying an overloaded cooler of snacks for your date and then insisted on paying for the umbrella rental. Jungkook requested the lane in the far corner, as far away from the door and the attendant as possible. As you two sat and changed your shoes, you asked him what you'd been wondering since you got his text.
"Why did you choose to come here?"
The bowling alley was a far cry from any of the nicer spots in the city. An even farther distance than the luxurious places you were sure he was accustomed to with his fame.
"Honestly?" He asked. You nodded, surprised that he was seeking your reassurance. "I was really nervous about what to do today. Namjoon-hyung suggested doing some sort of activity, rather than just sitting and talking. He said that I'd have something to focus on other than being nervous." You tried to hide your shock, both that Namjoon had helped and that Jungkook was nervous. "Plus, look around, nobody's here. We swung by yesterday to see what it was like after I read some reviews. It was empty yesterday too. So now I don't have to worry." He took his mask off, revealing a soft smile.
You laughed, amused at his train of thought. He had planned his date around not being noticed.
"I don't think he's going to notice," you said, nodding at the attendant. "He's been here since I was a kid. He doesn't care much about what happens here as long as it's not illegal."
"You've been here before?"
"All the time as a kid." You paused, took a deep breath and smiled. "And it still smells the same." Jungkook laughed and smiled at you. His smile was toothy and it scrunched up his cheeks. It eased a little of your discomfort at the situation. "And, between us, I'm nervous too."
Jungkook's eyes went wide at your statement. You were grateful that he'd made plans and taken off his mask, he was expressive and watching every emotion flit across his face was fascinating.
"But-I didn't-How," he stammered through the start of a few sentences before pausing and thinking. His lips pursed, as if he was trying to predict the trajectory of different statements. Finally, he settled. "I hope we're still good for bowling. I play to win."
"Bring it on."
"How are you feeling today?" Jungkook asked after several bowled frames in silence. You stared at him as he rolled the ball down the lane. "When Jimin-hyung came back from your date so upset, Jin-hyung mentioned that you hadn't been feeling great during his date. Jimin-hyung practically attacked Yoongi-hyung with questions when he came back last night. He's really worried about you, Noona."
"What happened to not talking about our dates with each other?" You asked, but your voice wasn't mean.
"We haven't talked about any of the details," he sounded slightly embarrassed. "Just, after your date with Hobi-hyung, we've all been nervous about how you're coping." His voice became soft, like he was telling a secret he was supposed to keep. "We've all been worried about you."
Shit. Date after date, these guys kept throwing wrenches into your plans. You wanted to be a blip on their radar, coming into their lives and quickly leaving with minimal problems. But, if they were all so concerned about you at this early point, you worried how troublesome your plan would be.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry," you told him honestly. "But I'm okay. I feel good right now." You smiled warmly at him, but his face remained uneasy. "How was it leaving today?"
Jungkook didn't answer immediately. His wide eyes darted to you, then around the bowling alley as if he was looking for someone to give him the correct answer. You didn't intend to make him uncomfortable.
"You don't have to say anything you don't want to, Jungkook. You don't even have to answer."
"It was weird. Everyone's been anxious since we had first contact. Some of us are dealing with it better than others. There's a lot of extra emotions going around. Jimin-hyung is definitely going to ask me about you when I get back."
"How have you been coping?" You felt guilty for causing so much distress.
"I've been trying to keep busy. Hobi-hyung brought some of us to the beach after your date. Tomorrow I'm planning on dragging Jimin-hyung out with Taehyung to go site seeing. I've done more work than I thought I would get done this week." Jungkook paused and looked at you. You smiled softly, attempting to reassure him. His face turned a bright red and he continued. "All I've cared about for so long has been BTS and our music, so having a soulmate wasn't a priority. It's not that-I mean I-it's just," he started fumbling
"I get what you mean," you said.
"It's not that I don't want a soulmate. I just never gave it much thought before we, well, before our first contact. I never thought or wished for it to happen. I didn't even know anyone who had a soulmate."He paused and took a deep breath. You were surprised at how open he was. You wondered if he had talked about this with anyone else, or if he was just processing now. "When hyung called us up to tell us about you, about making first contact, I was just so excited for him. I really just wanted him to be happy. I still do!" He looked at you, deep brown eyes brimming with tears. "And then we all had first contact and…and I don't want to ruin anything! I just want everyone to be happy."
"Shh, shh, it's okay, Jungkook," you said softly, leaning in a bit closer to his personal space. Tears were falling down his face and you wanted nothing more than to soothe him, a feeling you'd cope with later. "You haven't ruined anything. You won't ruin anything."
He took a deep breath, and wiped his eyes several times before looking at you. His tears stopped and you were grateful that, this time, you were able to help your distraught soulmate.
"I really want to hug you right now, Noona." You grew tense. "I don't think you'd like that. I just wanted to tell you though."
You relaxed and gave Jungkook a warm smile. All of your smiles today were easy and genuine. His observation, the notice of your hesitation for physical contact, wrapped around your heart like a blanket.
"I appreciate that, Jungkook, more than you can know."
You had a hard time sleeping that night. Despite the nice day you spent with Jungkook, you arrived home restless and anxious. Part of those feelings, you knew, centered on your upcoming date with Namjoon. Deep down, fair or not, you still partially blamed him for this entire situation. If he hadn't been so clumsy, or had chosen a different coffee shop, or had been rude and not tried to clean up, then your life would have remained the same. Logically, you knew the first contacts were not his fault, just some otherworldly magic that no one had control over. But, in your frustration with the situation, you wanted someone to blame. And Namjoon, the catalyst of this mess, was a perfect scapegoat. The rest of your fear came rather from your uncertainty of what you would tell them. Your original plan, go on the dates then say goodbye forever, seemed overly simplistic now. In spite of your better judgement, you had mostly enjoyed your dates. Even your date with Jimin was enjoyable before the tears and trauma. Had the dates been under any other circumstance other than soulmate dates, you would probably consider meeting them again. But they were your soulmates and your mind was screaming at you to run.
You had slept for maybe two hours when your phone buzzed with a text. Namjoon. Asking you to meet him at an address downtown which, when plugged into your phone, turned out to be an art museum. Luckily there were several coffee shops on your route there, you knew you'd need a significant amount of caffeine to get you functional. A few hours after his text, you approached the art museum, almost empty coffee cup in hand, looking for Namjoon. Aware of the familiar disguise combination of a hat, facemask, or sunglasses, you weren't surprised when you spotted him, beanie and facemask combo, leaning against a wall. As you got closer, he waved.
"Hey, good morning," he greeted you when you were next to him. "Thanks for meeting me."
"Well, it's a part of the deal," you shrugged. Namjoon flinched.
You walked into the building in silence. As Namjoon paid for your passes, you looked around and took in the sleek design of the museum, all bright whites and sharp corners. As he led you down a hall, you realized a lot of it was abstract. Random colors splashed on paper, simplistic designs that you couldn't understand the hype about. Today was going to be a long day. Namjoon wasn't talking, but rather watching you carefully out of the corner of his eyes. You stayed quiet, not sure what to say to him. Small talk was not appealing to you today. After wandering for a while in silence, Namjoon stopped at a painting and pointed to it. The canvas was painted black, with several lines in various colors painted in swirls across it.
"What do you think about this one?" He asked.
"It's fine?"
His eyebrow raised in question. He pointed to the next one on the wall, a huge canvas painted bright orange with several triangles painted at random intervals.
"What about this one?"
"It's okay, I guess?" You answered. Namjoon's eyes were disappointed, this clearly wasn't going how he wanted. You scrambled to excuse yourself. "I mean, I'm sure they're great. This just…isn't my type of art?" You couldn't prevent your voice from rising, making it sound more like a question than your actual opinion.
"We could go to another wing?" He offered. "Maybe something else will be more your style?"
"Whatever you want," you said, unhelpfully.
He looked at the museum map he held in his hand, his brows furrowed. Without lifting his head, he took off in a different direction, not looking at the paintings being passed. You followed him until he led you into a new section and he held his arms out and expectedly. The room held more abstract art, but these had less hard lines to them. More mixed colors, less geometry. Namjoon followed you as you wandered aimlessly around the room.
"Any of these look nice to you?"
"No, I'm sorry," you said, shaking your head. "I guess my taste just isn't this refined."
"Don't apologize! You like what you like. You don't have to enjoy this style," Namjoon was quick to reassure you. After a moment of looking at anything but each other, he laughed softly and fiddled with his beanie. "I was actually on my way here when we met." This surprised you. After nearly an hour together, neither of you had spoken much. So starting the conversation with your awkward first contact was not something you expected. "Before I realized that I had to call management, I was planning on asking you to come here with me. But now I'm glad I didn't. Taking you to a museum you hate would be a horrible first date." He paused awkwardly. "Is a horrible first date, I guess."
"I don't hate the art," you disagreed. "It's just…" you struggled to find a polite way to voice your disinterest. "It just… is there."
"That's worse. Art is supposed to make you feel. If you hated it, then at least it would be resonating with you. But art that makes you feel nothing is…bad. At least bad for you."
You shrugged. "I can deal with bad art." A horrible date was also easily dealt with. It wouldn't further your confused emotions towards the group. Maybe you could consider being friends with the others, but Namjoon could remain firmly in the acquaintance category.
Namjoon sighed and looked at his watch. "Maybe we leave and get some coffee?"
"We can stay if you want to look around more." Honestly, the idea of blankly staring at weird colors in silence was not unappealing.
"No, I'm good. I'd rather do something we both can enjoy. Plus, we can talk more over drinks"
Though talking was the last thing you wanted to do, you led Namjoon to a coffee shop not far from the museum. Luckily, the shop was quiet with the morning rush far over and the lunch rush yet to come. There was one man fixing his coffee and a single woman at a table, reading a newspaper. Not waiting for Namjoon, you walked straight up to the cashier, ordered your coffee and quickly shoved money at the worker. Namjoon made a noise in protest, but you ignored him. After he ordered, you waited in silence together. Though his drink came out right after yours, you didn't hand it to him and walked away. Let him spill it again and have a first contact with this barista. Maybe they'd leave you alone if they found a replacement. Your hope didn't pan out, though, and he followed you out of the cafe.
"I've been doing some research," he started. "I wanted to see what I could learn about situations like ours."
"Why?"
"I don't know about you, but I only know one person who has a soulmate. One of our audio techs. It's just the two of them though – him and his soulmate. So I don't know anything about how multiple first contacts or soulmates work. And they at least live in the same city." Namjoon sighed, frustrated, and played with his beanie. "I just don't like not knowing what to do."
"Okay," you nodded. Researching the situation had never crossed your mind. Maybe you could try and find something about finding and leaving your soulmate. Or soulmates. Ally's comment about platonic soulmates rang in your ears. "What'd you find out?"
Namjoon perked up a little at your question. His eyes looked surprised, as if he wasn't expecting you to inquire further. But more information wouldn't hurt.
"I've mostly been looking into multiple first contacts and seeing how those soulmate bonds play out in real life. There was a study out of somewhere in Europe – Germany or maybe Switzerland – that managed to find a hundred groups who had multiple soulmates from all over the world. Most of the first contacts had happened between three or four people, but there was one group that originally had six soulmates."
It was your turn to be startled. His last statement – originally had – shot through you like lightning. Someone had escaped their first contacts. Someone had succeeded in what you wanted.
"Originally had," you interrupted. "What happened?" Namjoon shifted and looked away from you, immediately looking uncomfortable. "Please tell me."
"One of them died."
"Died?"
"They killed themself shortly before the study started."
Fuck everything. That wasn't the answer you expected. Your eagerness now turned to guilt over the envy you initially felt for this unknown person. You sat down on a nearby bench, and curled in on yourself, unsure of how to proceed. Namjoon sat down across from you.
"The other five talk about it some. They have a vlog about their lives together." Namjoon's voice was gentle, like he knew you needed comfort but not sure how or why. "They're doing okay."
"What else did you find out?" You asked, trying to refrain from crying. Namjoon paused before talking. He seemed to be weighing the options of talking or not talking, and figuring which would make you more upset. You decided to press him. "Namjoon."
"In the study, not everyone in each soulmate group had a first contact with each other. Maybe in a three person group, Person A may have had first contacts with both Persons B and C, but Persons B and C didn't have a first contact with each other. Or," Namjoon shifted his body so that he was twisted to face you, one leg folded onto the bench, "in this one group of four I remember! Person A had first contacts with Persons B, C, and D. Person B actually had a first contact with Person D. But Person C didn't have a first contact with anyone besides Person A."
Namjoon paused, letting you absorb the information. He fiddled with a ring.
"What about you guys?" You finally ask. "You've known each other for years. Any other first contacts I should know about?"
"No, just with you. Well, we tease Jimin and Tae about being soulmates, but they never had a first contact. At least they've never told us if there was one. They knew each other before we were all together. Maybe they had a first contact together and just never told anyone. I don't know," Namjoon sighed. "But, in the study, even the people who didn't share a first contact within their group were close. A lot were romantic even without the direct soulmate bond."
"What about friendships? Were there any platonic relationships?"
"Yeah, everyone in each soulmate group was close!" Namjoon rushed, his tone worried. "Even the people who didn't have a first contact together were incredibly close. Something about being bonded to the same person strengthening the relationships."
"Were all the relationships between the people with first contacts romantic?"
"Yes. Every one."
You cursed internally. Out of so many people, you had hoped that at least one group in your position had managed to be non-romantic. But the soulmate bonds continued to work against you.
"I can send you the information I found?" Namjoon said, hesitantly. "If you want to learn more?"
"I'd appreciate that."
If anything, you were grateful to Namjoon for sharing his findings. And for having the forethought to go searching in the first place. While your immediate questions all had negative responses, maybe you could find something on your own once you had the materials. Knowledge in this situation could be powerful, something to arm yourself with against the other seven or help guide you through the mess. With tomorrow's meeting as a group weighing heavily on your mind, you'd take any help you could get.
"What have the others said about this?" You asked after a few minutes.
"I haven't shown them yet." Namjoon took in your confused look before continuing. "I'm planning to tonight. But I wanted to tell you first. Seemed fair since you're outnumbered." His statement was pointed, as if he knew about your conversation with Hoseok and was offended by it. "I wasn't sure if it would help you before tomorrow." He went quiet, and started to tap on his phone. You stared up at the clouds. Feeling your phone buzz, you check to see two new messages from Namjoon. You look at him, questioning. "A link to the study," he explained. "And a link to the vlog that the group of six runs. Just in case you want to check their story out."
"Thanks," you mumbled, starting to scroll through the study.
The two of you sat in silence for several minutes, you transfixed by the document on your screen, Namjoon simply taking in the passers-by. You heard him sigh deeply and glanced at him. He looked exhausted, as if the day had also taken a lot out of him.
"Have you thought about tomorrow?" He asked cautiously. He wasn't looking at you, continuing to stare at the crowd as if it made this conversation easier.
"That's all I've been thinking about."
Maybe it was your tone, equally as tired as his. Or it could've been the lingering thoughts of what happened to the group of six soulmates. Maybe it was his internal knowledge of what he was about to say. But something made Namjoon look at you, his eyes determined and focused on your hesitant ones.
"Whatever you choose, I'll support you. No questions asked. No complaints. Whatever you decide, I'll be behind you completely."
His words should've comforted you. From the few times you'd seen the group together, you'd gathered that he was somehow a guiding force for the others. Having his support should've eased any worries you had about ending this mess. But the way he looked in your eyes, the intensity of his words, as if he was willing to go to burn the world down on your behalf, frightened you. Namjoon's pragmatism and logic were traits you'd come to appreciate during this emotionally charged week. If he ended up falling prey to his emotions, as the others had, as you had started to, you feared you would lose all control.
A/N: So those are the first dates! And Noona's backstory! Where are your thoughts at?
Did I initially say my plan was to post on Fridays? Did my brain filled with Swiss cheese forget about that? Would you rather me post a different day? (There's a survey for that!)
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
Chapter One -- I'm Doing Everything All Wrong
There's no use crying over spilt coffee, right?
Sighing, you looked from the empty cafe to the large windows on your left and then back to the cafe. The sun was bright and the early August heat seemed to be calling you outside. The lack of people at your normally busy cafe confirmed what you already knew: today was a beach day. As you leaned against the counter, you could hear your coworker making his case, again, to your manager that it'd be best just to close early. He was also set on going to the beach. You took a long sip from your iced latte and pulled out your phone, hoping to live vicariously through the Instagram stories and posts of your friends who were definitely enjoying this beautiful Saturday. Your coworker came back to where you were standing, defeated in his attempts to leave work early. A few minutes later, the bell above the door rang. You pocketed your phone and saw a tall guy wearing a dark baseball cap, brim pulled low over his eyes, walking towards the counter.
“Hey there. What can I get for you?” Your coworker hopped on the cash register and greeted the customer. Hearing the order, you start to prepare his coffee, not paying much more attention to him.
“Here you go,” you said, placing his coffee on the pick-up counter.
He smiled politely and thanked you. But as he reached to grab his drink, somehow he overshot and toppled the cup, the lid breaking off and coffee spilling everywhere.
“Sorry,” he gasped and reached to grab napkins from a stack nearby.
“Don’t worry about it,” you told him, already wiping at the counter with a towel.
“I’m really clumsy! I didn’t mean to,” he continued to apologize and put more napkins on the mess.
“It’s okay,” you reassured him. “It happens pretty frequently.”
“I am so sorry!”
You didn’t respond this time, but chuckled softly at how frazzled the incident seemed to make him. He wiped the counter awkwardly with a handful of wet napkins, simply spreading the mess around.
“Give those to me. I’ll toss them.” You gestured to the napkins, making sure to smile a little to assure him that you weren’t pissed. “I’ll get you another coffee too.”
He reached across the counter with the wet glob of paper. As you grabbed it, your fingers brushed against his hand.
Sparks flew.
The sound of ocean waves echoed in your ears.
The mess of napkins fell back to the counter as you finally looked up from your hands to the guy’s face. His dark brown eyes were wide, looking like they had thousands of thoughts racing just behind them through his brain. That seemed appropriate to you. Your heart started to beat faster and faster, panic starting to flood your system. If you tried harder, you could possibly have thought of something nice to say. Maybe an introduction. Or at least a smile. Instead you both stood frozen, staring at each other silently as if any further movement or sound would break both your grips on reality.
You’re ripped out of your panic when you feel a hand on your shoulder and hear your name repeated softly. Looking toward the hand, you see your manager, Josie, and your coworker standing behind her. Her face has a wide, warm smile on it, but your coworker looked uncomfortable, shifting his gaze quickly from the floor, to you, to the customer, and then back to the floor. You shifted your stare back to Josie, eyes imploring her to speak again. Your mind still wasn’t processing what you should do.
“Why don’t you take your break now?” Josie’s voice was even and soft, like she was speaking to a scared animal. “We’ll clean up. You can sit down for a little.” She paused for a moment, waiting to see if you’d protest. Josie knew as well as you did that you’d already taken your break. When she realized that she was the only person in the cafe capable of talking, she continued pointedly. “Maybe talk a little bit.”
You don’t remember moving, but you found yourself sitting at a table by the windows, a drink in your hands with the guy sitting across from you, newly made drink in his. The guy – your soulmate – spoke first.
“Names are probably a good place to start, right?” His voice was lined with forced levity, and you watched his hands fiddle with his watch. Content to know that he was also uncomfortable, you nodded and offered your name. He repeated it softly to himself, as if he was sipping a wine to see if he liked it. “I’m Namjoon.”
“Hi Namjoon,” you said. You understood why he repeated your name before – saying his felt odd on your tongue. It felt heavy and a little uncomfortable, as if you were speaking with a mouthful of peanut butter. You considered his name in silence, and he sat quietly too, staring off into his coffee. “So…Namjoon…” you spoke carefully and he looked up at you, “should we exchange phone numbers or something?”
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good idea,” he nodded his head confidently. He reached to grab his phone from his pocket, but then jumped up from his chair as if he’d been shocked. He walked to the front counter and came back with a sheet of paper and a pen in his hand. You stared at Namjoon blankly as he ripped the paper in half, writing his number down on one piece and handing it to you. He looked at you impatiently before you wrote yours down.
“I figured we could just type them in our phones,” you said. “Like normal people.”
He opened his mouth to speak, then stopped. He quickly wrote your name above your number, then shoved the paper in his pocket. His eyes looked far away again. “I’ve got to make a phone call,” he said.
“Okay?”
“Keep my number a secret, okay?” You raised an eyebrow, not sure why he was concerned about his phone number’s privacy. Who exactly were you going to give it to? “Crap, I have to make a few calls.” Namjoon took his hat off and ran his hand through his hair. You noticed, for the first time, that it was long, hanging around his eyes. “We’ll be in touch. Just hang out for a few days. Don’t do anything big.” Why was he talking like you were going into hiding after committing a crime? “I’ve gotta make a call,” this time he repeated the words softly to himself, as if they were the only things grounding him. Suddenly, he looked at you.. “I’ll talk to you soon.” Then he rushed out the door.
You sat and stared after him, trying to comprehend the last several minutes of your life. His behavior was erratic after first contact. You wanted to chalk it up to the awkwardness of the situation – you knew you weren’t acting like your normal self either – but he acted as though he had something to hide or was afraid of you. Who was your soulmate and what the hell was his problem?
"I think he's a criminal."
Ally burst out laughing at your statement. "That'd be great," she said. "You two could do a soulmate Bonnie and Clyde thing."
"I'm hoping for more Robin Hood than Bonnie and Clyde. The good, moral kind of criminal activity." You joked, but Ally detected the truth behind it.
"Oh my God, you're not even happy with a pretend soulmate." She paused. "He's probably not a criminal, y'know?"
"Then why did he act so sketchy? He definitely seemed like he was hiding something."
"First contacts can be jarring. Finding your soulmate isn't always an easy transition."
"Easy for you to say," you shot back, rolling your eyes.
"That's not fair and you know it." Ally stopped her work painting the wall of the nursery and stared at you. "You know how bad it got for us."
College was not kind to your best friend and her soulmate. After their first contact early in freshman year and a relatively happy time together throughout high school, college had presented problems neither Ally nor her soulmate, Jay, had anticipated. Studying on different sides of the country, the time difference, and the first real time they'd spent apart since finding each other strained their bond. You had spent countless nights with Ally as she worried, cried, or got angry about the difficulty of their situation.
"I know," you said, contrite. "I'm sorry."
At the worst point, Ally and Jay broke up with the plan to reevaluate their situation when they were back in the same area. That period, while only a few months long, had taken its toll on both your friends. But their reunion came with renewed dedication to each other and thorough plans on how to make their final year apart more manageable.
"It's okay. I know you're stressed right now." Ally smiled at you and went back to painting. "But you should give it some time. Let yourself get used to him, not just as your soulmate but as a person. What have you two been talking about?"
"We haven't."
"You're kidding me?"
"No."
"It's been a week! You said you exchanged numbers. Neither of you have sent a single text?"
"He acted so strange, like he didn't want to be sitting with me. Like he had secrets to keep. I didn't get a welcoming vibe from the encounter." You sighed and tossed your paintbrush on the covered floor before sitting in defeat. "What was I supposed to say? Hi, it's your soulmate, the one you practically ran away from to make a phone call. I mean, I wasn't really nice to him either. I think I said five words after we found out." You paused and stared into the paint can, trying to put the feelings you'd had for the last week into words. Ally sat down slowly next to you, carefully maneuvering with her pregnant stomach. "This isn't ideal. I get that. It's probably not anybody's perfect soulmate fantasy." You ran your fingers over your hair, frustrated. You felt torn between your desire to not have a soulmate and your desire to please others. "But I'm not that horrible, right? To completely scare off my soulmate at first contact?"
Ally wrapped her arm around your shoulder, making sympathetic noises. You placed your head on her shoulder.
"This isn't just on you," she said. "You don't know what his situation is. You said he looked around our age?" You nodded in affirmation. "Maybe he has a partner right now. He could've just been in town for a short time. Hell, he could be married already. He probably panicked about how this was going to change his life. Maybe he just needs some time to make adjustments to his own messy situation." You nodded again. "A week isn't that long, really."
You sat in silence, taking in Ally's explanation. You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, but chose to ignore it and mulled over your short interaction with your soulmate. The thought of Namjoon having a partner he'd have to break the news of his first contact with seemed probable, but you didn't remember seeing any wedding ring on his hand. Did you want to be responsible for breaking up someone else's relationship, even if it was to be with your soulmate? Your phone vibrates again.
"Or maybe," you said with a teasing tone, "he has to hide his identity because he's in witness protection."
"Oooh," Ally giggled. "Or maybe he's a celebrity!"
You laughed at the thought. But, in quick succession, your phone buzzed several more times. Finally curious, you pulled it out to see what was up. A name flashed across your screen – Namjoon – with several text notifications underneath it.
Namjoon [12:42pm]: Hey, it's me.
Namjoon [12:42pm]: Namjoon, from the cafe.
Namjoon [12:45pm]: We should talk. In person would be easier.
Namjoon [12:58pm]: When can you meet?
Namjoon [1:12pm]: I'd really like to talk.
"What's wrong?" Ally asked, seeing your furrowed eyebrows.
"He wants to meet up and talk," you said.
"That's good. Maybe he just needed some time to process it. What are you going to do?"
"I…I think I'll meet him?" Saying the option didn't make you feel confident. "Or maybe I'll ask to just talk on the phone. I don't know. I’m not sure if ignoring him will make this go away. Though it’d be nice…"
"Fair. But promise me something?"
"What?"
"Whether you meet up with him or just talk, promise me you'll give this a chance?"
"I promise."
Several hours later, you were standing in front of the fanciest hotel in the city. Maybe Namjoon was some kind of business man and he was just in town for official reasons? Why else would he ask you to meet at this hotel? You glanced at the instructions he gave you for a meeting place, some conference room inside. If he'd been aiming to make you feel safer meeting in public, then he would've done better with the suggestion of a restaurant or a park. Regardless, you were stuck. Walking up to the front desk, you asked the woman working for directions to the conference room. She looked at you coldly before returning to typing on her computer.
"That room is booked for a private meeting this evening."
"I'm supposed to be at that meeting," you told her, sounding more confident than you felt. Everything about this hotel was too nice and you were painfully aware of the paint splatters on your hands that hadn't come off in your shower. "I have clear instructions to go there."
"It's a private meeting," she stated again. "And we have clear instructions on who is allowed to be let in."
"Check for me. My name will be on that list." You gave her your name. "Please just check?"
The woman glared at you for a moment before returning to her computer. Several clicks later, she sighed and gave you directions to the conference room. When you found yourself in front of the conference room door, you paused. You didn't want to knock yet. You had changed into a nice skirt and top when you realized the place Namjoon invited you to meet, but you still felt underdressed and unprepared for what waited beyond the door. Maybe you should've asked Ally and Jay to come along with you for backup? There was still a chance that he could be a criminal and you weren't in the mood to disappear without a trace. You contemplated texting Namjoon to ensure you were at the right place, but the thought of reaching out for his help made your stomach curl a little. Anyway, the receptionist had already confirmed you were supposed to be here. You took a deep breath, counted to three, then exhaled. Then you knocked.
The door cracked open and a face covered with a cloth face mask and wearing a beanie peered out at you. The person's eyes were sharp as they inspected you.
"Oh, I'm sorry," you rushed to speak. "I think I got lost. I'm looking for –"
"You're okay," the man said and addressed you by name. He opened the door more and motioned for you to come in. "It's me." Once you walked into the room, the man removed his face mask and you recognized your soulmate. "Thanks for meeting me here."
"You're welcome," you said stiffly.
For the first time, you were truly able to look at Namjoon. Tall and broad, he was objectively attractive, with his dark hair dangling over his forehead. If he was just another face you saw, somewhere walking down the street or maybe even a regular at your job, you would have definitely been swayed by his looks. But staring at him as your soulmate, your stomach twisted into further knots, thrown off by his handsomeness rather than pulled toward it. You noticed that he was dressed more casually than you, a plain loose t-shirt and pair of jeans. Feeling overdressed, you fiddled with the hem of your shirt.
Suddenly, you heard a voice you didn’t recognize, in a language you didn’t understand. You whipped your head to the back corner of the conference room, where the voice continued to call out. It sounded frustrated, but not in an angry fashion. More impatient. You noticed six other guys, all comfortably dressed, sitting around a table, all staring at you. At a separate table, two older men in pristine suits sat, enthralled with the laptops in front of them.
“Who are these people?” You asked, looking back at Namjoon. “I thought we were going to talk? Why are they here?”
“We are going to talk! But I wanted the guys here so you could meet them.” Namjoon gestured at the table of six. He sighed, sounding exhausted. “This is bigger than just me. I wanted you to meet the other members fast.”
“Other members?” You repeated. Shit, was your soulmate in a cult? You were truly regretting not bringing reinforcements.
“Yeah,” Namjoon’s voice was filled with caution. “You don’t recognize us?”
“No,” you whispered. You took another look at the six guys. Total strangers. Ridiculously attractive strangers, each as visually striking as Namjoon, but strangers nonetheless. Why did he think that you knew him? “I’d never seen you before the day you came into the cafe.”
Namjoon opened his mouth to say something, but when he looked at you he stopped. You stared back at him, hesitation and fear haven risen enough to show upon your face. Saying something that you couldn’t understand, but sounded like a swear, Namjoon ran his hands through his hair. Someone from the table of six called out. This time, though, the voice sounded more playful and excited. You continued to look at your soulmate, waiting for answers that, unbeknownst to you, were going to have to wait.
The next few moments proved to be the most bewildering and overwhelming of your life.
While your soulmate and you stared at each other in silence, one of the casually dressed guys had broken from the group and ran towards you. Namjoon reached towards him, seemingly trying to grab his shorter friend and stop him from hurtling into you. Namjoon missed and his friend flew into you. The first thing you felt was the thud of his solid body against yours.
Then you saw the sparks.
Then you heard the soft sound of blowing wind.
Unable to keep your balance, you fell to the ground. Voices erupted in shouts. Two sets of hands reach out, one set long and graceful and the other tattooed, grabbing your own as if to help you up
Sparks flew up from where they touched you.
Soft bells mixed with the hollow sounds of a wooden wind chime.
More shouting that you didn’t understand.
The sets of hands that touched you retracted quickly but left you on the floor. You did your best to stand back up and step away from the four people in front of you. Your breathing was quick. You were starting to get a headache. It was too much, too fast. But as you took a step back, you bumped into broad shoulders.
Sparks. The sound of rain drops.
You stepped away from before thinking or looking, wanting to get away from whoever you'd just touched. A fatal mistake. You walked straight into another body, lean enough to shove yourself past.
Soft laughter rang in your ears.
You didn't stop to see the sparks.
There were too many bodies. The group seemed to recenter itself on you each time you moved. You wanted to leave. The overlapping voices rang in your head. Even if you could have understood what they were saying, you didn't care. There was a door somewhere past the horde of bodies that you needed to get through.
Eyes fixed on the ground, you kept trying to walk, first contacts be damned. You saw yourself approaching someone, but couldn't tell who it was based on his shoes. Regardless, you tried to push past him.
Then you heard a gentle piano.
You could feel the blood pounding in your ears. A sharp pain in your temple and spotty vision alerted you to a migraine. You couldn't tell if you were breathing anymore.
This time, without anyone touching you, you fell to the floor. The last thing you heard was someone shout your name.
The first thing you noticed was that the carpet was soft. It was probably ridiculously expensive, but you didn't mind. It was the first thing to provide comfort since you'd first gotten Namjoon's texts. You heard soft voices talking, again in a foreign language, but you decided to keep your eyes closed for a little longer. Maybe the group of guys would take pity on you, abandon you on this lovely carpet in this swanky hotel, and simply leave. Then, you'd be able to get back to your apartment, block Namjoon's number, and pretend this never happened.
You had promised Ally you would give your soulmate situation a chance, but this had gotten out of hand.
A voice spoke up, closer than the others, as if the speaker was next to you. His words were tinged with worry, vastly different from the shouting a few moments earlier. Or was it minutes? You realized for the first time that you didn't know how long you'd been out for. The same guy spoke again, somehow with more distress. You felt two fingers press against your neck gently. Was this guy checking for a pulse? Maybe you'd been on the carpet longer than was healthy. On the bright side, though, you didn't hear any unusual sounds from a first contact. Which meant this guy was either someone you'd already touched or was someone normal. You cracked your eyes open. Wide, anxious eyes stared back at you. You recognized the full cheeks and long bangs of the first one from the table to touch you. The one whose auditory alert had been wind. He called out but kept his eyes fixed on you. Uncomfortable with his level of eye contact, you moved to sit up so you could look elsewhere. Wind Guy reached out as soon as you moved. Logically, you knew he probably intended to help you sit up; he looked concerned over you moving so soon after coming too. But you instinctually pulled away from his hands. He put them back at his side.
"How are you feeling?" Namjoon's voice was cautious and even. More reminiscent of how he sounded after your first contact in the cafe than after your first contacts with his friends. Shit, you had a first contact with your soulmate's six friends. You had seven soulmates. You felt like you wanted to throw up all over this beautiful carpet and your seven fucking soulmates.
"I'm okay," you lied.
"Do you want to go over and sit?" Namjoon gestured at a table where five of your soulmates sat. The two suited men sat at the table too. An empty chair was toppled over. Maybe he'd stood up in a rush when Wind Guy had spoken.
"I want to sit here." That was the truth. At this point, the carpet was your only friend.
Namjoon looked as if he wanted to convince you to sit at the table. He sat down across from you though. This didn't seem like a battle he deemed worthy of fighting. The other five got up from the table, following Namjoon's lead. First to reach you was the one with the tattooed hand. Something in you told you this was the one who made you hear bells. Bell Boy – you felt comfortable naming him as he clearly looked young – had tattoos covering his entire right arm and several piercings. He sat down next to you, carefully leaving you some space. Slowly, he reached over and offered you a water bottle. You took it, but fiddled with the cap – still intact. You twisted it open and took several sips. This seemed to please Bell Boy and he smiled a toothy grin. A pack of crackers was placed in front of you by the one who'd given you the sound of rain. You take them, but don't open them, choosing to watch as he and the last one you'd had first contact with, Piano Man, flanked Namjoon as they sat. The final two to find places on the floor were Chime Guy, who sat close enough to Wind Guy for their legs to be pressed together, and Laugh Dude. He smiled as he sat between Bell Boy, who's shoulder he patted, and Rain Man. The suited men remained at the table, watching every breath and movement the eight of you took like they were afraid of something.
Everyone in the circle stared at each other, but no one spoke. You refused to speak first. At this point, you considered it seven against one, mostly because the suited men seemed more neutral than on your soulmates' side and, though comforting, the carpet couldn't do much to help you. You started to get overwhelmed looking around at everyone, so you focused on Namjoon. You could deal with just him. Rain Man spoke, seeming to want to prompt Namjoon to start.
"I think we should use English right now," Namjoon said to them. There was a mumbled chorus of agreement. He addressed you next. "Do we look familiar at all?"
"No," you said sternly. "I've never seen any of you before. Why do you keep asking me that?"
Namjoon clenched his jaw. You dared to glance around the circle at their reactions. The looks ranged from hopeful, to skeptical, to confused.
"Have you ever," Namjoon spoke slowly, as if he were weighing the worth of each word, "heard of a music group called BTS?"
The name sounded vaguely familiar, like you'd heard it on passing. Josie was big into pop music, maybe you'd overheard her bring them up or heard a song while working. You took your phone out of your pocket and typed the name into Google. News headlines, music videos, official and unofficial web pages all popped up. You clicked on the first music video that appeared and let it play for a few seconds. Yes, Josie definitely played this one at the cafe.
"Okay," you said. "So what?" It wasn't really an answer to Namjoon's question, but you weren't willing to give him more. If he wanted to talk with you, he needed to stop being so damn cryptic and sketchy.
"We're BTS," he said.
"That's hilarious," you shot back, starting to get pissed. "Stop making up movie plots and start being honest."
Namjoon didn't answer, just pulled out his phone, typed in a few things, then handed it to you. It was the same page of search results you'd just been on.
"Look at the images," he said, patient enough that it furthered your annoyance.
You did as he asked though. You scrolled through for a few moments before finding a picture from a news article posted only a month ago. It was from a well known magazine, so you felt safer with its authenticity. You started hard at the picture, looked at the guys around you, then went back to the picture. Their faces looked clean of any makeup and their haircuts were different, but these were the same people. The picture was of your soulmates. The same soulmates who were apparently international pop superstars, according to this magazine. Handing Namjoon back his phone, you tried to process what you just learned. The seven guys stared at you in anticipation. You ran your hands over the carpet as you thought. You wished that you had just ignored his texts. Maybe this could have gone away if you ignored it those few hours ago. International pop stars probably don't have much time for soulmates, though. That gave you hope. If they were as busy as those headlines made them seem, then maybe this would be it. Potentially, they would go back to South Korea – you felt relieved to know what language they'd been speaking – and continue being superstars. Then you could go back to your life. That would be ideal. You could go back to your apartment, continue saving up from your cafe job, help Ally and Jay get ready for the baby. Maybe try to find out where to purchase a few square feet of this rug. Feeling as though you knew what to do for the first time since your first contact with Namjoon, you started to talk.
"Congratulations on your success." The seven guys balked at your statement. Apparently it was not what they were expecting you to say. "I'm serious. It seems like you guys are really good artists." Either Rain Man or Laugh Dude chuckled, but you couldn't tell which.
One of the official looking men came over and knelt by Namjoon, talking softly in Korean to him. That made more sense now. The two older men were probably lawyers or some kind of higher up involved with the group. Maybe a manager or some kind of executive. Whatever was being said made Namjoon blush and look towards the floor. You wondered what could make a superstar have that reaction.
"The reason it took me so long to contact you after we met was because I needed to contact our managers," Namjoon said, still looking at the carpet. He started to stroke it absently. Was it weird for you to get possessive of a rug? Because you wanted him to stop. "It's in our contract that, should any of us meet our soulmate, we have to get in touch with management as soon as possible. That's why I left so quickly." You nodded, but didn't say anything. These were the answers you wanted from the start, so you let Namjoon speak. The other six showed less interest, clearly already having knowledge of this. "Plans needed to be made, discussions had. I chose to contact the rest of the guys though. I wanted them included in this. I thought," Namjoon paused, "I thought having everyone together would help explain my situation. I thought it would make things easier." That statement got several laughs from the others. "I didn't think this would happen. None of us did." The mood turned somber. "And now we have to figure this all out again."
Namjoon looked at you, his eyes filled with honesty. You quickly glanced at the others. Wind Guy and Laugh Dude were looking at you intently. You weren't sure if you'd felt Wind Guy's eyes leave you since you first got up. Rain Man was looking at you also, but his eyes were softer and a small smile sat on his lips. Bell Boy seemed nervous, flicking his gaze between Namjoon and you. Chime Guy was leaning back on his hands, also looking around the group. When your eyes met his, you looked away quickly. Piano Man was looking down where his hands were folded in his lap. Or he was sleeping, you couldn't tell. Sleeping Piano Man aside, the conversation did not seem as though it was going to end quickly with a polite parting of ways. You needed to get this back on track.
"Well," you spoke up finally, "I should probably let you all contact your managers." You started to stand up. If you could leave quickly now, then you could disappear and pretend this never happened. This could all become one hell of a party story.
"We should probably do introductions." You didn't recognize the voice. Piano Man was apparently not asleep. He was looking at you with an intensity that made you want to run.
"But," you started, "the contract said to contact -"
"That's what they're doing now," Piano Man nodded at the suited men. He didn't look like he was going to let this go, his mouth set in a firm line and his eyes challenging you.
You sat back down. Introductions wouldn't ruin your plan. At worst you'd have to block a few more numbers besides Namjoon's when you left. Fingers gripping the carpet, you decided that you could cope with a few minutes of polite conversation with your soulmates. Wanting this over quickly, you introduced yourself formally. Maybe Namjoon had told the others your name when he mentioned his own first contact to them, but you wanted to start the process. Piano Man followed your lead, Min Yoongi being his real name. Rain Man spoke up next as Kim Seokjin, or Jin for short. Namjoon jumped in and said that his last name was also Kim, but they had no familial ties. Chime Guy – Kim Taehyung – echoed that Namjoon, Seokjin, and he weren’t related when he introduced himself next. Wind Guy smiled widely and greeted you by your full name before stating his name, Park Jimin. The other, openly friendly soulmate, Laugh Dude, introduced himself as Jung Hoseok. Bell Boy smiled shyly at you when he stated that his name was Jeon Jungkook.
You looked around the circle, trying to memorize the faces that went to their names. This happened without thought. Logically, you wanted nothing more than to say a goodbye and then disappear from their lives. You didn’t need or want to learn their names, but something in your subconscious pushed you to try a little. Looking around the circle of seated, silent bodies you repeated to yourself: Jimin, Taehyung, Yoongi, Namjoon, Seokjin, Hoseok, Jungkook.
For the first since stepping into this room, your stomach seemed to unknot. Your breath was borderline calm and your heart was no longer racing. But these realizations were not a comfort. You smooth your hands over your beloved carpet one last time.
"I should get going," you said.
"Can you stay for dinner?" Hoseok spoke quickly
"We were going to order take-out," Seokjin tacked on
"I have work tomorrow morning." You stand up to force your point.
"You can pick the restaurant?" Jungkook offered, hopeful.
"I have to be there early." You took a step away from them. "I open up."
A few of them looked like they wanted to continue protesting, but Namjoon silenced them.
"Would you like us to call you a car?"
You shake your head, declining his offer. Taking a few more steps away, without turning your back to them, and quickly said goodbye.
Once the conference room door closes behind you, you take several shuddering breaths. You know you're close to losing control and need to get home. Walking as quickly as you can without drawing suspicion, you retrace your original steps back to the main lobby. Suddenly, you heard someone call your name. Looking back, you saw someone with a facemask and a floppy white bucket hat race towards you. Who still wore bucket hats? When he stopped in front of you, you recognized him as Wind Guy. No, Jimin – his name was Jimin.
"I'm sorry," he said simply.
"For what?"
"I was excited to meet Namjoon-hyung's soulmate. I didn't think." His words were rushed, like he was trying to say everything before you decided to leave him standing alone. "I just wanted to see you up close and welcome you to the group. I didn't know what would happen," he said, voice wavering. "I never thought that –"
"It's okay," you told him. "None of this is your fault."
"But –"
"No buts." You weren't sure why, but the sincerity of his worry seemed to touch you. "We shouldn't dwell on fault. It wouldn't be fair to any of us.". Why were you comforting this young man when you didn't want anything to do with him?
Jimin nodded his head and smiled. He stretched his arms out and moved in to hug you, but you stepped out of his reach. Eyes hurt, he settled instead on a small wave. You bid each other goodbye and you, finally, left that terrible hotel.
A/N: My plan is to post every Friday, so keep your eyes (and tangerines) peeled!
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
Chapter Two -- Best Laid Plans...
Group chats are hell.
When you arrived at your job the next morning, you felt horrible. Your head pounded and your eyes ached from no sleep, having spent the night tossing and turning. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't manage to rest. Your thoughts kept circling back to your soulmates.
Your seven soulmates.
As you slammed your way through the opening process, you realized the normal grumpiness you felt early in the morning had transformed into a pure rage. You hated your soulmates. It was horrible enough to have multiple soulmates, but yours all knew each other. They were a unit. You were an outsider within this group who'd known each other for a seemingly long time. Ally was the next target of your hate fire. Logically, you knew she hadn't pressured you to do anything, but you were maddened by the hope she had about your first contact with Namjoon. And Namjoon. You definitely hated him. Last evening you'd told Jimin not to place blame, but this morning you were ready to. This was all Namjoon's fault. If he hadn't walked into your coffee shop, this never would have happened. If he hadn't been so clumsy. If he hadn't insisted on helping clean up the spilt coffee. Fuck Namjoon.
Finished with your prep work, you looked at the clock. Somehow, in your rage, you managed to finish early. With fifteen minutes left until you had to open the front doors, you sat in one of the chairs and laid your head on the table. You felt tears start to fall. Every bit of anxiety you'd managed to control yesterday and every fear that nagged you last night created a monster of despair that overwhelmed you. Unable to control yourself, you sobbed violently, shaking and gasping for air. How did this happen to you? Why did this happen to you?
"Oh my God, what happened?" Josie's voice surprised you. She called your name and sat next to you. "Are you hurt?"
Unable to speak, you shook your head no. If Josie was here, then you were late opening. You didn't know you'd been crying so long, lost in your misery. Unsure what to do, you looked up at Josie, tears still flowing. Her brows were furrowed with worry and she said your name again.
"You look terrible," she said. "Can you tell me what happened?"
"I can't –" you started to say before another sob interrupted. "I can't –" you realized you didn't know how to explain. "My soulmates – it's too much."
If Josie noticed that you'd spoken in the plural, she didn't comment. Instead, she made a sympathetic sound and tried to catch your eyes.
"It can be a lot," she cooed. "It can be a lot for anyone to handle." You wanted to laugh at how right she was: coping with seven, world famous soulmates was a lot. "It's okay to be struggling with this. Relationships are hard, soulmate or not. Do you want to talk about it?" You shook your head no.
Suddenly, several loud knocks came from the front door. Josie and you looked up to see a customer peering through a window, trying to get in. Josie left you in your seat to unlock the door and attend to the woman. After the customer left, Josie came back to you.
"How about you head home for the day?"
"I don't wanna ditch you," you said and wiped at your eyes. "I can do this. Just give me a few minutes to wash my face."
"I'll be fine on my own," she said. "I can't remember the last time you called out. Just go home and rest. Because you really look like crap." You started to protest again, but Josie stopped you. "Get out of here. That's an order this time."
Going home sounded great, to be fair. You could change back into your pajamas, blast the air conditioner, and try to get some sleep. Pick up some ice cream for later. Or some wine. You could probably justify splurging for both after the last 24 hours.
When you got home – ice cream pint and bottle of wine in tow – you put the rest of your plan in action. Climbing into bed, you set your alarm for three hours. Before setting it down, though, a new text from Ally popped up, adding to the several from yesterday you'd been ignoring.
Ally [6:38pm]: Text me when you get home! I want to know whether he murdered you or not.
Ally [8:20pm]: How did it go?
Ally [8:22pm]: Are you still with him?
Ally [9:07pm]: ???
Ally [10:42pm]: I'm heading to bed. Text me when you see these. Call me if you need me.
Ally [7:12am]: I can come over. Just tell me what you need.
You stared at the chain of messages. Just wanting to wallow alone, you texted her back a short answer. I'm alive, you typed. Her reply came instantaneously: are you safe? You sighed, feeling guilty that you'd ignored her for so long and made her worry. Yes, you send back. You were safe, but you weren't okay by any means. Weariness wracked your body and you felt as though you hadn't slept in a week. Setting your phone down on your nightstand, you crawled into bed and fell asleep.
The sound of your phone vibrating woke you up. Your alarm had yet to go off, so you ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. A few minutes later, it buzzed again. You pushed it farther away on the nightstand and closed your eyes tightly. Buzz buzz buzz. Three notifications all in quick succession. You took a deep breath and tried to stay calm – it was probably just Ally or Josie trying to check in. But it started to vibrate constantly, almost as if it was ringing. Frustrated, you grab it with the intention to silence it after figuring out who the hell was blowing up your phone.
You were added onto a group chat, filled with numbers you didn't recognize. As you went to delete yourself from the chain, new text popped up and surprised you. It was from Namjoon, telling the others to introduce themselves. It was a damned group chat with your soulmates. Names started appearing next to the unknown numbers. You assigned the contacts in your phone, without thinking. Then, for no reason other than to make sense of the nonsense, you started reading the thread.
Jimin [8:43am]: I want to start a group chat so we can all talk!
How did Jimin get your number? You hadn't given it to anyone besides Namjoon. Did Namjoon give it to him?
Taehyung [8:50am]: We already have one. Why do we need another?
Jimin [8:51am]: That's our band group chat. This is our SOULMATE group chat.
Hoseok [8:52am]: All eight of us are here???
Jin [8:52am]: Good morning, soulmate!!
Jungkook [8:52am]: Noona is here too??
Jimin [8:53am]: Yes!! That's her number! Hello (=
Jin [8:53am]: How is your morning? What are your plans for the day?
Taehyung [8:53am]: Would you want to hang out with us today?
Jungkook [8:54am]: Noona?
Jungkook [8:54am]: Is everything ok?
Hoseok [8:55am]: Jiminie, are you sure you typed in the right number?
Yoongi [8:56am]: Oh my god, chill. She probably can't answer. She said she had to work this morning.
Yoongi [8:57am]: Just like you all should be working.
Jimin [8:57am]: I just wanted to include her, hyung! Don't be mad.
Namjoon [8:58am]: Maybe she'd feel more included if she knew who she was talking to. I don't think she has any of your numbers.
Namjoon [8:59am]: Introduce yourselves. At least act like you're all normal.
The next few texts were just their names, letting you know who was who. Then finally, Hoseok texted again
Hoseok [9:03am]: Have a good day at work, soulmate!
Taehyung [9:05am]: Will you text us when you get out?
Jimin [9:06am]: Can we hang out later?
Namjoon [9:06am]: Guys, let her work.
Realizing that you weren't going to be able to resume your nap, you got up. You wandered aimlessly around your apartment, phone in hand, waiting to see if someone else texted after Namjoon's order. Though you weren't fond of him by any standard, you appreciated Namjoon's attempts to reign in the ridiculous group chat. This was the exact opposite of what you'd wanted to happen, as you'd hoped that the group would just let you go after your terrible meeting last night. Yesterday, they had all seemed polite, but overwhelmed like you. Today, if the texts were any indicator, things had changed. Several of them – Hoseok, Taehyung, Jin, with Jimin leading the charge – were friendly. Even borderline eager. Namjoon and Yoongi seemed cautious, as if they were more conscious of the awkward situation the eight of you were in. Somewhere in the middle sat Jungkook. His texts had been excited, but anxious, like he was afraid of something.
You needed some sort of plan to get out of this situation. Blocking their numbers probably wouldn't work at this point. If Jimin got your number from Namjoon, then he probably would be able to get the cafe's address too and visit you there should you try to ignore them. Having him show up at the cafe would be disastrous, let alone any of the others who would come too. The thought made you shiver. Explaining multiple soulmates to your coworkers was not something you were ready to do. Hell, you weren't ready to accept the situation yourself yet. Nixing the idea of ghosting your soulmates, you settled on texting them later, after you would've gotten out of work. If they believed you were at work, then you'd keep up that illusion. Maybe you could talk with Namjoon alone? Despite his flightiness the first time you'd met, he proved to be logical and practical about the situation. Yoongi would be good to talk with too, as he seemed more interested in berating the others in his texts than interacting with you. They would be most likely to listen to your concerns. If you tried, you might be able to convince them that pursuing these soulmate connections was a bad idea. If they agreed with you, then they could deal with the other guys. Maybe even Jungkook could be convinced, since he already seemed a bit hesitant. That was the plan: convince at least Namjoon and Yoongi to leave you alone, have them convince the others, then go on with your life. You set an alarm on your phone for later, to remind you to coordinate with Namjoon.
Reveling in the comfort of your plan, you thought about how you'd spend the time til then. A little past 10am, it was too early for the ice cream and wine you'd bought, even if you had been in the mood for them. Instead, you grabbed a granola bar and took a bite, but your stomach started to churn as you chewed. You tossed it. Maybe you'd start some laundry and call Ally, just to reassure her that you were okay.
On the table, your phone started to ring. You grabbed it quickly and answered without checking who it was.
"Hey," you answered.
A voice you didn't recognize called your name happily. You checked the caller id on the screen. Jimin. No one other than Ally called you. Work communications were done through texts and emails, and you texted with the few other friends you had. So you'd assumed the caller was Ally and it was safe to answer. But it wasn't. Jimin called you. You weren't sure if you wanted to scream at him or award him for his tenacity.
"I thought you were at work?" He asked "Did you get out early?"
"I actually," you started but stopped. Even if you felt you owed him an explanation, you weren't going to tell him that your boss kicked you out because you'd been so distraught over this situation. "I actually did get out early." Apparently lying to your soulmates was going to be a trend for you.
"That's great! Have you seen the group chat I made?"
"Yeah, I did." Not a lie.
"You should say hi," Jimin was excited.
"I was going to," you said slowly. Technically not a lie. "But why did you call me, Jimin?"
"Well I…" he hesitated, as if your question made him shy, "I know a few of us asked if you wanted to hang out later today, but I wanted to ask you directly. Will you spend some time with us today?"
"I don't know if I can." A complete lie. Anyone else would skip housework in order to get some soulmate bounding time, but you were reluctant. Why build up Jimin's hope when you were just going to break this off soon?
"What about dinner? You have to eat. Even if you're working early, we could eat whenever!"
You pause to think over your response. You didn't actively want to hurt Jimin, he seemed friendly and was eager to include you into his group of band mates and friends. Honestly, you didn't want to hurt anybody. But you couldn't imagine any way for this situation to work out well.
Jimin said your name softly.
"I don't think that's a good idea," you answered.
"Why?" He asked, hurt radiating from his voice. "Is something the matter?"
From Jimin's side of the call, you heard someone shout, presumably in Korean. Jimin answered them, and the two started to converse.
"I'll let you go," you said, hoping to use this as an excuse to dodge his question.
"Don't go!" Jimin said quickly. "Namjoon-hyung wants to talk to you. Here he is."
You started to protest, but it didn't matter. Namjoon greeted you a moment later.
"So, I think dinner is a good idea," he said. "We all should talk some more. It'd probably be good to have privacy, though. We can get anything you want delivered to the hotel."
"I don't think that's a good idea," you repeated. You hadn't expected pressure from Namjoon.
"We could come to your place if you'd prefer."
"No, that's not it," you rushed. Crap, having them all at your tiny apartment would be a nightmare. You weren't even sure everyone would fit.
"Then what?” Namjoon sounded frustrated. “Last night didn't go as planned. We still have things to talk about as a group. We need to figure this out."
You took a deep breath. If Namjoon and Jimin were forcing your hand, then you'd have to change your plan. Meeting them all tonight wasn't ideal, but at least it'd give you a chance to end this shenanigan.
"I'll meet you at the hotel at 5."
You stepped into the hotel lobby directly at 5pm. The receptionist at the desk was the same woman as yesterday. She glared at you from her spot, clearly displeased at you and your outfit. Today, you hadn't bothered to get dressed up, simply arriving in the leggings and loose T-shirt you had on. You ducked your head as you walked by her, following Namjoon's instructions to go to the same conference room as yesterday. This time, you didn't hesitate when you got to the door, but knocked loudly. You wanted to get this over with. The door flung open and you saw Jin standing there, smiling widely.
"You're here! It's so nice to see you." He said and motioned you in. Once in the room he opened his arms to offer you a hug. You didn't move. His smile faltered a bit, but he continued on. "You never said what you wanted to eat, so we ordered a couple of different things. Do you want to eat while we talk? Everyone's here."
You followed him to the table where the six other guys sat. Like you, they were all dressed casually, jeans, sweats, and t-shirts. The same two men in suits sat a few tables away, already eating. A third table had a huge spread of takeout containers, at least two dozen dishes spread out family style. How much did this cost? When you got closer to the guys, they all stood and greeted you. Without saying much more than hello, you got corralled towards the food. Their voices swirled around you. Your stomach twisted. You put some salad on a plate you were handed, but knew you were too anxious to eat a lot. Several of the guys noticed your sparse plate and started pointing out specific dishes, mentioning where they were from. You recognized some of the restaurant names, and were surprised that they ranged from high class places to tiny food trucks. Hoseok brought a container of pasta closer to you and encouraged you to try some. You took a small spoonful to placate him. Jin was more direct, though, simply scooping a chicken dish onto your plate. Jungkook approached with some kind of dumplings. He looked at you for permission before giving you one.
"There's plenty to eat," he said shyly. "You should take whatever you want, Noona."
"Why do you call me that?" You asked. He'd used it several times, but you didn't know how the name originated. "What does Noona mean?"
"Well," he started, then looked at Namjoon for reassurance. Namjoon nodded in encouragement. "It's a term we use to refer to girls older than us. It means older sister." You nod, understanding. Suddenly, Jungkook panicked. "I'm sorry, I just assumed that you're older than me! I'm always the youngest. But I don't have to call you that!"
"I don't mind. If it makes you feel comfortable, it's fine. " you told him. Once again, this technically wasn't a lie. You didn't care what he called you because you didn't plan to be around to hear it for much longer. "And I am definitely older than you."
"Thanks," he sighed. "There's words for older guys too. I could tell you how to use them with the hyungs. When were you born?"
"Jungkook!" Several voices cried
"You can't just ask a lady how old she is!" Jin moaned while grabbing more food.
"It's cool," you reassured "I was born in 1991."
"No way!" Hoseok laughed. Jimin playfully shoved Jin. You looked at them, confused by the reaction.
"I guess we all have to call you Noona now," Taehyung spoke up.
"How old are you all?" You asked, sitting down at an empty table.
You guessed that you would be on the older end of this soulmate octet, but how young were they? Jungkook was definitely young, but Jin and Namjoon didn't seem too much younger than you. You regretted asking immediately after they shouted out their ages. Being older didn't bother you, but the 6 year gap between Jungkook and yourself made you cringe a little bit.
They started eating immediately after sitting down, shoveling food into their mouths. You took a bite of chicken and chewed it slowly. Looking around, you realized you were sitting in the identical positions as you had when on the floor yesterday. It gave off the sense of practice and rehearsal, as if they had assigned seats and simply altered themselves around you. No one talked. You moved the food around your plate.
"Do you not like the food?" Yoongi asked you, nodding at your plate.
"No, it's good," you answered. That was a little bit of a lie. While you were sure the food was delicious, the few bites you'd taken sat heavily in your stomach. But that was more anxiety's fault than any chef's.
"Then what's the matter?"
"Nothing." Your lie was automatic.
Yoongi's eyes narrowed as he stared at you. You weren't sure if he was suspicious or pissed, but the glare made your skin crawl.
After a few more moments of quiet, one of the suited men came to your side and handed you a piece of paper. Across the top, imposing letters read Initial Nondisclosure Agreement. You started to read. The first point was simple: you couldn't disclose any type of special information you became privy to while knowing the guys – or BTS in this scenario – including but not limited to personal facts, photos, any kind of work product you might overhear or see, phone numbers, etc. The next points were more interesting, stating that you were not to talk about being soulmates with BTS in any capacity. This stipulation, it noted, was to be reviewed at a future point with further discussion of how to proceed publicly, if at all.
"I know it seems intimidating, but it's just to start us off," Namjoon said. "This really threw management for a loop. They were prepared for one soulmate, but they've had to scramble to figure out how to proceed now."
"This isn't necessary," you said, looking at Namjoon.
"It's just to give us all guidelines right now. Like how you can't post or talk about us? We can't post or talk about you either." You hadn't read that far, but you appreciated the equal treatment. "We'll keep this all private for a little until we figure out what to do."
"I don't need this," you said. Namjoon started to talk, but you cut him off. "I don't think we should pursue the soulmate connections."
The table erupted into voices. Everyone except Namjoon started talking over each other. Namjoon simply gaped at you. Letting the others continue, you placed your shaking hands in your lap, hoping to hide them. You took a few deep breaths.
"What do you mean?" Namjoon asked when everybody had settled.
"I mean that pursuing this would be a mistake." Your voice sounded steadier and more confident than you felt during this confrontation. "You're superstars, I work in a coffee shop. We can't pretend that everything will magically be great just because we're soulmates. You guys should go back to your lives in Korea. I'll go back to mine. I didn't plan on talking about this even before the NDA, so you won't have to worry about that. We can act like this never happened."
"How can you say that?" Jimin asked, his voice tight. "We don't even know each other yet and you want to throw us away."
"It's not that," you said, your heart tugging at the thought of hurting someone's feelings. "I just think this is the better solution."
"Ignoring each other won't make us stop being soulmates," Hoseok said.
"He's right," Yoongi stated. You felt slightly betrayed, having thought Yoongi would be on your side. "First contacts have happened. The connections are there. You want to ignore that?"
"Yes," you said.
"But we don't even know each other yet!" Jimin said, visibly upset. Taehyung rubbed his back.
"How about a compromise?" Namjoon asked. "We’re here for another eight days. Spend a day with each of us. We can get to know each other, see how we get along one-on-one. We can meet as a group on the last day. If things go well, then we'll have gotten some quality time together. If not, you'll have wasted a week but you'll never have to see us again." A few of the guys started to protest, but Namjoon silenced them with a look. "How does that sound?"
"Who gets to decide whether things went well or not?" You ask
"You do."
"I'm not going to be able to get a week off on such short notice." It was a flimsy excuse. You had time off saved and you had covered enough of other people's shifts to be able to call in favors. But your plan for the night had burst into flames. You had to try something.
"We can work around your schedule if you can't get the time off," Namjoon said firmly. "But that's the offer. Seven dates and then, if you still want it, we'll be out of your life forever."
You agreed, sensing that this was the best you were going to get. Regardless, a week wouldn't kill you.
Despite having the next day scheduled as your day off, you got to the cafe as soon as it opened. You went to the back, where Josie was sitting and working on paperwork. She looked up when you greeted her.
"Hey! How are you feeling today?" She asked.
"I'm okay. Thanks for the help," you said. You shifted from side to side, feeling awkward for what you needed to ask.
"No worries. But why are you here today?" She checked the calendar. "Today's your day off, right?"
"Yeah, it is. I," you paused and fiddled with the hem of your shirt, "I wanted to ask a favor." Josie's eyes widened a little. "You can say no! That's totally okay, but I said I would ask."
"Is this about your soulmate?"
"Yeah. So my soulmate is leaving town next week." You chose your words carefully, not wanting to reveal much about the situation. "He's just in town for a little. He wants to spend time together before he goes back home. Is there a way to alter my schedule until he leaves? I know it's a lot to ask, and you can say no, but I told him I'd ask you."
"Does he live far away?"
You nodded your head. You hadn't bothered finding out the exact timing, but you figured that a flight to South Korea would take at least 10 hours, probably longer.
Josie smiled and clicked a few buttons on her laptop. "How do you have this much time off banked?"
"I don't go anywhere," you said softly.
Josie looked like she was calculating something in her head. Then she went back to her computer.
"Crap, you haven't taken a day off in over a year," she moaned. "How have I not forced you to take your time off?" You shrugged. "Yes, definitely. Take the next week off. Spend time with your soulmate. Get to know each other."
"Are you sure?" You asked. "Will you be okay covering my shift?" You regretted even asking Josie. You should've just lied to the guys and said you couldn't get the time off.
"Don't worry about that!"
"I don't mind if I come in," you floundered, trying to make Josie see your side without simply coming out and asking her to deny your request. "You can call me if you need me."
"That's ridiculous. Take your vacation. Enjoy being with your soulmate." Her smile was genuine. "Now get out of here and don't let me see you for the next week!"
You forced a smile, thanked Josie and turned to leave. Out of the cafe, you push your hands through your hair. Why did every plan you make blow up in your face?
When you got home, you texted the group chat, letting them know that you had the next seven days free. Sighing, you wait for an answer and dream about other more enjoyable ways to spend a week of vacation. Spend time with Ally. Cook a good meal. Catch up on all the housework that you fell behind on recently. You hadn't had more than a day off in months, and your apartment showed it. Though not particularly thrilling, chores needed to be done and sounded more enjoyable than what was planned for your next week. Hell, a root canal sounded more fun. But you made your deal. Maybe you could convince one of the guys to do housework with you? Prove how mundane your life was and let them see first hand the difference between your style of living and the style they likely maintained as stars. Your phone buzzed, pulling you out of your thoughts.
Hoseok [7:46am]: That's great!
Jimin [7:46am]: When do we get to see you, Noona?
Namjoon [7:47am]: How do you want to do this? Do you want to choose who you hang out?
Jin [7:47am]: No pressure though!
You started to type a reply – I choose to see none of you – but deleted it.
You [7:48am]: Why don't you guys figure it out? I'll go with whatever.
A deal was a deal after all.
A/N: Thanks for all the likes and reblogs on the prologue and first chapter! I hope you like this chapter. Next up will be a wicked long chapter -- all the dates! Any guess who's date is first?
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: Chooo chooo! All aboard the Pain Train!
Chapter 18 -- Everybody Loves a Winner, So Nobody Loved Me
The guys cope with the fallout from game night.
Once he saw his soulmate climb into bed, Jungkook said goodnight and went off in search of his hyungs. He trusted Jimin and Taehyung to stay on the call until his Noona was calm enough to sleep, and he had other people to check on. Jin, for starters. Jungkook had been sitting next to the eldest and knew that, despite the excuse he used, Jin didn't get a phone call. So, when he saw Jin's door wide open, he walked right in, surprised to see the man walking around his room in a rush, gathering clothes and toiletries. An open suitcase laid on his bed.
"What, Jungkook?" His voice was strained and tense, an unusual tone for the normally silly and loving man.
"I wanted to check on you," Jungkook said. "What are you doing?"
"Packing."
Jungkook frowned. Jin tended to get quiet when he was deeply upset, and the terse answers told Jungkook everything he needed to know about his hyung's state of mind.
"I didn't think your photoshoot was until later next week," Jungkook started. He wanted to get Jin to talk about things, knowing it'd make him feel better.
"The shoot is on Wednesday," Jin grumbled. "But I'm not going there. I'm going to America."
"What?" Jungkook asked, shocked. "Are you skipping the photo shoot?"
"No," Jin sighed and started to inspect the items he laid out. "I'll be back in time for it."
"What about practice and training?"
"To hell with that!" Jin shouted, making the youngest's eyes widen. He ran his hands through his hair. "Right now, our soulmate is falling asleep thinking that we will throw her away at the slightest inconvenience. And I can't let her think that. I've been patient, I've reassured her in every way I can think of, but it isn't working. So I've got to try something different."
"What are you going to do?" Jungkook asked.
"I'm getting on the first flight I can to America and flying to her. I'll call her when I land. I'll make sure I'm back in time for the photo shoot."
"You're crazy, hyung. That timeline will give you, what, like fifty hours in America? Maybe less?"
"I don't really care, Jungkook," Jin sighed. "I'm losing my mind right now, thinking about her all alone."
"Seijin is going to be pissed at you," Jungkook said. The eldest always had a tendency not to care about company rules, more likely to beg forgiveness than ask permission. But, in this moment, Jungkook respected that bravery. "How can I help?"
"Pack everything on the bed. I need to book a flight." Jin smiled for the first time since the card game ended. "Then you can drive me to the airport."
Yoongi shifted, uncomfortable under Hoseok's glare. He was sitting with Namjoon on Hoseok's bed, waiting for his friend to speak. Despite being older than the other two, Yoongi felt like he was a child again, being reprimanded by his father for misbehaving. Namjoon was still frozen under the harsh, judgmental look their friend perfected. They knew Hoseok was pissed, and they knew the best option was to let him talk first. So they waited, shrinking under his scowl.
"What the hell was that?" Hoseok finally asked. "How was that supposed to be productive, to help any of us?" He waited for either of his friends to answer, but neither did. Instead, they each glanced off in different directions. Hoseok wasn't sure if they were embarrassed or still mad at each other, but he was fuming. Still, he tried to keep his voice low, he didn't want the others to hear this. "She's finally opening up to us, trusting us with how she's actually feeling instead of hiding everything. And that is how you two respond? By getting into a shouting match!" Sighing, Hoseok collapsed into his desk chair and just stared at the other two.
"I know that spewing off statistics isn't helpful," Namjoon started, focused on the floor. "And I wasn't trying to minimize her fears – I wouldn't do that. But I don't know how else to help. I don't know what to do."
"I don't know either," Yoongi said. "I hate this situation and I don't know how to fix it or help her. The only thing I can do right now is try to make her life less stressful, take some burdens off her. Make it so she won't have to work two jobs and go to school. I didn't offer to pay just to start a fight or to make her feel terrible."
"I didn't mean that, hyung," Namjoon quickly added, upset that he had flung the accusation out. He knew Yoongi wasn't manipulative. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine," Yoongi waved off the apology. "But I just wanted to try and make things easier. All I could think of was the sooner she gets her degree, the sooner we can all be together. Permanently."
The trio was quiet, each thinking about Yoongi's idea. Having their soulmate come back and stay with them was the goal. They weren't sure how it would happen, but they knew Yoongi was right: the first step was for her to finish school.
"That's not how I interpreted your offer," Namjoon said softly, finally looking at Yoongi.
"I don't think she understood it like that either," Hoseok said.
Yoongi sighed in frustration. "I should go call her. Explain. Apologize."
"Wait for later," Namjoon said. "I think the maknaes are trying to get her to sleep. Call her later when she's up. I…I need to call her too." Namjoon wondered if Yoongi and he should make the call together, apologize for the way they acted.
"I feel like shit," Yoongi said eventually. He leaned over and put his head in his hands.
"It'll be okay, the kids will talk to her now, we'll call her tomorrow, and everything will be okay."
"Not about this. I mean, today didn't help. I just generally feel like shit. I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. My focus is shot. I miss her," his said, defeated.
"I miss her too," Hoseok said, moving to sit near Yoongi. Hoseok had kept that frantic call he received weeks ago a secret and talking about it now would probably only further agitate Yoongi. But he could talk about his own feelings. "And I haven't been sleeping well either. Last good sleep I had was New Year's Eve."
"I wonder if that's a side effect of the first contacts," Namjoon mumbled. The other two looked at him. "Last time I looked into soulmates, I only focused on multiple first contacts. I didn't look into a lot of the side effects or finer details."
"Can you?" Hoseok asked. "I want to know if what we're feeling is normal or if we're crazy. Or maybe if there's a way to alleviate it?"
"Yeah, I can look into it," Namjoon agreed. Then, blushing a little, he asked, "Maybe we can see if she's still on the phone? Wish her a good night?"
That idea made Yoongi smile, and the three headed out into the hallway. They'd left the maknaes in the living room, but, as they entered the common area and saw Jimin and Taehyung cleaning up the table, they realized they were too late. Before any of the rappers could ask how their soulmate was, the sound of a suitcase being rolled filled the apartment. The five turned to see Jungkook in a beanie, keys and mask in hand. Behind him was Jin, dragging a small suitcase. When the eldest and youngest got to the kitchen, they paused, staring back at the others.
"I'll see you guys later," Jin said, and lightly pushed Jungkook to get him moving. "I'll text when I land."
"Wait, what?" Jimin called out. "What's going on?"
"Is everything okay? What happened on your call?" Taehyung asked, following after Jin.
"Where are you going?" Yoongi asked.
"I lied; no one called me" Jin said quickly. "I booked a flight to go see her. JK's driving me to the airport. I'll be back for the photoshoot." He tapped Jungkook again and motioned at the door.
The others followed them into the hall, not satisfied with the eldest's explanation.
"What did Seijin say?" Hoseok said as they walked into the elevator.
"Haven't called him yet. I'll call him when I'm through security."
"How are you going to explain the trip?" Taehyung asked, looking at his oldest hyung.
"I'm going to tell him the truth. Our soulmate is alone and distressed and someone needs to be there." Jin sighed and blinked quickly a few times. "And honestly I feel like I'm going to implode if I don't see her soon."
"We'll be there in a month," Yoongi said softly.
"I can't wait that long."
"Go then," Namjoon's statement had a tone of finality to it, but when the others looked at him, their leader was smiling. "Do what none of us thought to do. Just text us when you land. And make sure she's okay for all of us?"
Jin nodded, quickly hugging each of his friends before rushing down to Jungkook's car. As his maknae pulled out of the parking garage and into traffic, Jin took out his phone. While Jungkook was packing, he'd been able to purchase a last minute flight that would take him from Seoul to his soulmate's home in about fifteen hours. Now, as his maknae navigated the busy roads, Jin purchased a return ticket. Though Jungkook was right about the short stay, Jin hoped the two days he had bought himself would be enough time to reassure his soulmate of his – their – dedication to making this work. As they drove past road signs marking the way to Incheon International Airport, Jin made a mental list of what he needed to accomplish in the short time before his flight: get through security, call Seijin, let his parents know he'd be in a different time zone for a little bit, maybe grab food since he hadn't had time to eat lunch. The only ticket available was in coach, which Jin didn't mind, but he wasn't fond of plane food.
"Just be careful, hyung," Jungkook said as he pulled into a spot to drop Jin off. "If anyone recognizes you, you'll be screwed."
"I will," Jin said, adjusting his face mask and baseball cap. "Thank you for the help, Kookie."
He gave the youngest a quick, tight hug before leaving the car. Luckily, people walking into and around the airport seemed more concerned with themselves than any possible celebrity sighting. Jin was grateful he only had his carry-on and a small backpack though, speeding his way past baggage check and into the security line. The child in front accidentally stepped on his feet, and the mother issued a quick, polite apology, but didn't seem to notice him otherwise. When he finally approached the security check, he grew a little more nervous: if his cover was blown, it would be here. As the middle aged woman checked his documents, she smiled a little. Jin lowered his facemask slightly, but she motioned for him to stop.
"You're all set , " she said. Her eyes sparkled a little with recognition, but she didn't give any other indication that Jin was who he was. "Thank you for flying with us today . "
Jin bowed deeply in thanks to her, grateful that she picked up on his secretive mission. She could've made his life incredibly difficult if she'd even mentioned his name, but her tact was endlessly appreciated. Jin made note of her name tag, hoping he could submit an anonymous compliment somewhere in the airport for her. When he made it to his gate, he was able to find an empty corner near the back of the waiting area. It had no chairs and no electrical outlets, so no one else wanted to sit there. That was perfect for Jin though, sitting down on the floor and pulling out his phone.
"Hey, it's me," Jin said as Seijin picked up the call. "I'm –"
"You're at the airport, I know." Seijin's voice was a mix between frustrated and amused. After all these years, he was used to Jin's little rebellions. "Namjoon called me the moment you left the apartment." Jin started to talk, but Seijin interrupted. "I don't want you to talk too much right now, in case someone recognizes your voice. Just keep your face as covered as possible and stay quiet until you land in America."
"I'm sorry," Jin mumbled. Realistically, he knew this impromptu trip would cause a headache for Seijin. He didn't want to cause the man extra work, but he needed to do this. Right now, he was Kim Seokjin, not Jin of BTS.
"Don't be. But, for the record, I want to say that this is a very big gesture for just being a platonic soulmate ." Seijin teased. Though he respected what the seven had initially explained to him, he never truly understood the concept or expected it to work long-term. But that wasn't his position to say. "Just travel safe and keep me updated."
Jin smiled to himself, happy that his manager wasn't as angry as anticipated. He set a reminder on his phone to buy the older man a thank-you present, maybe a bottle of the top shelf soju Jin knew he enjoyed. Glancing at the time, Jin realized he had a few minutes to spare before the plane started boarding, and jogged to the nearest convenience store. As he put a few items down at the register, he was grateful he had some cash on him, not wanting to risk pulling out his credit card. His mind stayed busy as he waited, realizing for the first time that he'd have to get an Uber or taxi to get to his soulmate's apartment. Without too much delay, Jin's boarding number was called for boarding and he tried to make himself comfortable in his seat.
As the plane taxi'd away from the gate and the flight attendants began their safety instructions, Jin put his headphones on and lowered his hat, intent on napping. But, feeling the plane leave the ground and begin it's ascent, he was too nervous to sleep. He realized this was a risk, flying out to see his soulmate on a whim, no heads up and no real backup plan should she not want to see him. No, Jin stopped that train of thought, she would want to see him. Despite her current self-critiques, his soulmate had been happy when they were last together. The doubts appeared during their separation, and, if Jin could get to her, he was sure he could make he feel better. So Jin took a few deep breaths to calm himself. In a little over fifteen hours, he'd be able to hold his soulmate in his arms again, to reassure her that he wasn't going anywhere, at least not anywhere away from her.
The rest of the day crept by for the six remaining men. None of them wanted to be at the Hybe building, each one fixated on their distraught soulmate and their hyung who was off to help her. They wanted to be with him, but knew that their schedules couldn't accommodate a group trip, especially with one planned just a month away. They also knew that they were going to have to work a little harder with Jin's unexpected departure, but they'd never admit that to him or hold it against him. Hoseok agreed to go to an interview with Jungkook in his place. Taehyung and Namjoon had swapped their studio sessions so that they could record in Jin's absence. Yoongi was taking Jin's car to the mechanic for its scheduled oil change. Jimin decided to take over the VLive Jin intended to do the next afternoon.
Despite this all, though, Jimin felt distinctly uncomfortable and untethered, as if he were in the ocean, slowly drifting away from the shore, with no way back. He'd been so distracted and distant throughout the day that he got nothing productive done. All he had to show for the day was an empty notebook that should have song lyrics on it and a pounding headache. So, not knowing what else to do, Jimin changed and headed off to find an empty dance studio. If he couldn't work off this feeling, then maybe he'd be able to dance himself into exhaustion and sleep the night through. And he needed a good night's sleep. Turning up some music, Jimin went through his stretches, forcing his body to obey him since he couldn't force his mind. His muscles ached from the dance practice they'd had as a group earlier today, but Jimin didn't care. He'd dance until he collapsed if it took the desperate ache out of his heart. So he danced.
The music cut abruptly. Jimin whirled around to see Taehyung by the stereo, holding both his own phone and Jimin's.
"I'm going home," Taehyung said. "It's time to leave."
"I want to stay a little longer," Jimin said, pushing his sweaty hair off his forehead. "I'll be back in time for dinner."
"Dinner?" Tae's repeated, eyes going wide. "It's 10:30, Jimin. How long have you been here?"
"I don't know," Jimin shrugged. "4? 4:30? Somewhere around there. It can't actually be that late."
"It is."
Taehyung handed Jimin his phone, and the shorter man looked to see the time as well as several missed texts, including the ones alerting him to their dinner order. While, mentally, it seemed to Jimin that he hadn't been dancing for that long, he felt the influence of several hours of hard dancing more the longer he stood still. But his plan worked, he was exhausted. Tae reached out and grabbed onto Jimin, worried as his soulmate began to sway weakly. He worked to get Jimin sitting on the floor.
"I'm thirsty, Tae," Jimin said softly.
"When was the last time you ate?" Tae asked as he grabbed his water bottle from his bag. It wasn't full, but it was at least something.
"Breakfast."
Taehyung cursed – Jimin hadn't eaten in almost eighteen hours and had spent the last six intensively exercising. He had no clue when, or if, Jimin had taken a break or drank anything.
"Wait here," Taehyung instructed. "I'll be right back." He ran out of the studio and towards the closest break room, where he knew a small fridge was located. He grabbed two electrolyte drinks, along with two bananas and a small container of rice balls. When he got back to Jimin, his heart sank. The man looked terrible, pale and sweaty, barely holding himself up against the wall. Taehyung sat next to him, unscrewing the cap of a drink. "Here, drink this." He waited, watching Jimin take a few slow sips and while he peeled the first banana. The two sat in silence until Jimin was done with the first bottle and banana. "How are you feeling now?"
"A little better," Jimin said. He was at least sitting up straighter.
"Do you think you can walk to the garage?" Tae asked, and Jimin nodded. He started to pack the remaining food and drink in his bag. "Okay, then let's go. We'll get home, take a shower, and go to bed? We can talk tonight or tomorrow."
Jimin just nodded and let Taehyung help him off the floor. He wrapped his arm around his soulmate, trying to stabilize a still wobbly Jimin. Jimin was grateful for the contact though, leaning his head against Tae's shoulder. Though they were normally very affectionate, Tae was glad the building was empty so no one would see them in this vulnerable state. As they got into his car, Taehyung handed Jimin the remaining food and drink he had. Jimin took them silently and Tae started to drive.
The drive between Hybe and their apartment wasn't long, and was easy to make at this time of night. But, it was long enough for Taehyung to start to spiral. As he glanced from the road to Jimin, who was staring out the window and slowly chewing, Taehyung knew he was in trouble. When Jimin was in a bad place, he would isolate himself. The fact that Jimin locked himself away in a studio for hours without letting anyone know showed Taehyung enough to understand his first soulmate's state of mind. As he pulled up to a stop light, Taehyung took several deep breaths, the way Namjoon had taught him when they were younger. Yes, today had been an absolute shit show, but Taehyung knew he couldn't freak out now. His soulmates needed him and, while he wasn't able to fly to America to help, he would help Jimin as best he could. So, taking the final turn towards their apartment, Taehyung drew a final deep breath and steeled his nerves for the upcoming tasks: getting Jimin showered and to sleep.
Jimin was steadier when he climbed out of the car, but his muscles screamed in pain. He knew he would pay for this tomorrow, he'd probably struggle to walk, but he didn't particularly care. Though he could walk on his own, he reached out for Taehyung, who gladly took his hand. They rode the elevator in silence, Jimin not ready to talk yet and Taehyung knowing better than to push him. In the hallway before their apartment, Taehyung quickly toed off his shoes. Jimin struggled, though, his muscles already cramping and sore. So Taehyung dropped to his knees and helped him, gently untying and removing each shoe.
"Go take a shower," he instructed. "I'll make a little more food for you to eat, then we'll go to bed." Jimin nodded, and Tae placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before sending him off to the apartment.
Jungkook was still awake and on the couch. He watched, eyes wide as Jimin slunk through the common area and off to shower. The maknae looked at Tae, nervous. Taehyung just shook his head, letting the youngest know to just let them be. While Jungkook, sweet and affectionate, was normally a comfort for Jimin, Taehyung knew this was something he had to solve on his own. Understanding, Jungkook turned off the television and went to his room, wanting to give them privacy. Tae focused on making a small meal for Jimin, something healthy, but easy to digest. So he fried two eggs and set them over a little rice, some steamed vegetables on the side.
But after half an hour, he grew nervous. He approached the bathroom door and could still hear the shower going. While long, luxurious showers were not unheard of for Jimin, Taehyung knew his soulmate wasn't in the mood for one. So he knocked.
"Jimin? Are you okay in there?" No answer. Taehyung knocked again, louder this time. "Jimin?" Again, no answer. "I'm coming in now!". Taehyung walked into the bathroom, steam immediately surrounding him. As he closed the door, he could hear sobs coming from behind the shower curtain. "Shit." Taehyung pulled back the curtain to find Jimin sitting on the shower floor, hugging his knees to his chest tightly and crying. Quickly, Taehyung turned off the water. He wrapped a towel around the sobbing man and held him close. "I'm here, Jimin, I'm right here. You're not alone." Jimin leaned his head on Taehyung's shoulder and Tae just tightened his grip. Though this seemed worse, Jimin sobbing uncontrollably, it calmed Taehyung a little – if Jimin was crying, then he'd be ready to talk soon. That was how his soulmate dealt with bad feelings – isolate, cry, talk – and over their years together, Taehyung knew the cycle well. So he simply held Jimin, whispering soft reassurances and gently kissing his forehead.
"It hurts so much," Jimin finally said, sobs no longer shaking his body. He looked at Taehyung. "I feel like something is shredding my heart apart. She needs us, but we're stuck here and I feel like shit leaving her alone. I'm failing, Tae. I can't help her, I can't be with her. I'm failing as a soulmate."
"You are not failing, Jimin."
"I can't even keep my shit together enough to check on you," Jimin mumbled, trying to wipe his tears away.
"You're allowed to have a bad day," Tae stressed. "You can struggle, it's okay. Today was terrible for all of us." He paused and pressed another kiss to Jimin's temple. "But Jin's on his way to her. What's he always saying to us? Hyung will do it." Luckily, this made Jimin laugh weakly. "We just have to hold down everything here so he can help her."
Jimin nodded and shifted in Tae's grasp. "It's cold, I want to get dressed." Taehyung moved and let Jimin finish drying off. "I just can't believe she thinks we'd leave her." He pulled on a pair of pajama pants. "That, after how hard we fought to stay in her life, that we don't want to be with her." Taehyung was quiet, letting Jimin speak his mind. "I don't want anyone else. I want her. I want you. I just want my soulmates."
Finally dressed, Jimin walked to Taehyung and kissed the taller man. It was slow, gentle, borderline chaste, but Jimin didn't want passion right now. He needed the comfort of knowing that Taehyung, his closest friend and soulmate, was here with him. And, knowing Jimin like he knew himself, Taehyung kissed him back exactly as Jimin needed. Sweet, loving, comforting. He wrapped his arms around Jimin, taking solace in the knowledge that he could at least help one of his soulmates.
"Stay with me tonight?" Jimin asked softly.
"Of course."
Honestly, Taehyung was slightly offended that Jimin even had to ask. While he'd happily spend every night in a bed with Jimin, they tried to keep it to a frequency that wouldn't raise suspicions with their other bandmates. Their initial decision, years ago, to hide their first contact was made from fear about how the others and the company would react. Now, at least, they believed their bandmates, their brothers, would welcome and accept the truth. But how could they walk back a lie they wove for over a decade? Regardless, Taehyung would announce his soulmate bond to the world if it meant he could continue to comfort Jimin tonight.
So they settled into Jimin's bed, rearranging pillows and blankets until they were both comfortable. Taehyung was, as Jimin had told their other soulmate, a very clingy sleeper. And, while it sometimes made sleeping too warm or created odd pressure points, Jimin welcomed the clinginess as he felt Tae's arms wrap around his torso and pull them tightly together. Taehyung threw his leg over Jimin's, completely enveloping the shorter man. But it was what Jimin needed tonight. And, as the exhaustion of the day forced him into sleep, he only wished that there was one more body crowding his bed.
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
Chapter Four -- Agony, Misery, Woe
You wish you could buy a new brain.
Namjoon's comments stuck with you long after your date ended. You wandered around your apartment aimlessly, knowing that there was stuff to do, and to think about, but not sure where to start. Sighing, you pulled out your phone and called Ally.
"What's up?" She asked.
"I don't know what to do."
"About?"
"This entire soulmate mess. The last date was today. I have to tell them something tomorrow. I just don't know what to do."
"Oh." You heard Ally sigh and something creak and assumed she was taking a seat. "So these past few dates have been inconclusive for the dump-keep rating?"
"The exact opposite. Every date, even the worse ones, have been decent. Some have been great. I would go on a second date with any of them, really," you explained. You felt generous and threw Namjoon in with the rest, despite the awkwardness. "It's just that…"
"It's just that they're your soulmates. I get it."
"I told one of them."
"About your parents?" Ally couldn't disguise the surprise in her voice.
"Yeah. It was with…Wind Guy. It came up that I grew up here, and he joked about going to meet my parents. I spiraled once he said it." You paused and heard Ally make a soft, empathetic sound. She knew what you were talking about. "He was so scared and upset that he'd done something wrong. I just wanted to explain that my reaction wasn't his fault."
"So you told him about your parents to try to comfort him?"
"It didn't work. He ended up getting more upset."
"You haven't even told Jay." Her implication was clear: after herself, Jay was your closest friend and the only other person who held any of your trust. Whatever compelled you to tell an essential stranger, albeit your soulmate, this information was powerful.
"I know. It's just…I wanted to reassure him so badly that he hadn't done something wrong." You paused, breathing deeply. "And some of the other dates went well. So well. They're not bad guys. I don't want to hate them, Ally."
"Not wanting to be with them is different from hating them," she said gently.
"I don't even know if I want to leave them anymore. My brain keeps telling me this is a bad idea, that nothing good will come from this. But something in my gut is trying to get me to take a chance."
"You realize that not every soulmate bond turns out like your parents?"
"Logically, yeah."
"Good. I know it sounds harsh, but I wanted to check."
"I appreciate it," you laughed. "Is it stupid that I want to make a pro and cons list?"
"No!" Ally disagreed, but she giggled a bit. "It's helped you before. Might be worth the time to help you organize your thoughts?" You hummed softly in acknowledgement. "Do you think it could help?"
"It can't hurt," you admitted.
"When are you supposed to see them tomorrow?"
"For breakfast at their hotel. They have to be at the airport by noon. So I have…" you glanced at the time "twelve hours to make a decision?"
"Plenty of time," Ally laughed.
"Why rush when making a decision that can change your entire life?" You sighed, rolling your eyes.
"Whatever you decide, it'll be the right choice."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Because I trust you."
"That's a horrible reason, Ally," you laughed. You'd expected to hear something about your decision making skills, or your problem solving abilities. But all she had was blind faith in you.
"Not for me it isn't. Just trust me, and I'll trust you?"
"Fine," you agreed. "I trust you."
A few hours later, you stretched out on your bed. Having eaten, washed the dishes, and showered, you realized you'd put off analyzing your feelings as much as possible. Pulling a notebook off your nightstand, you figured that the pro/con list you'd mentioned earlier was starting to sound like the best process. With a line drawn down the center, you started to put your thoughts down.
Pros:
- Want to be friends with 6/7 of them
- Jin cares like Ally
- Jimin is sweet
- Hoseok is understanding
- Jungkook's honesty
- Taehyung didn't pry
- Yoongi asked and listened
- Namjoon is practical
Cons:
- Soulmates
- Jimin cares too much?
- Namjoon
- Awkward situation
- This could all be a facade
- They're busy – too busy to keep this up?
- What happens when it ends?
- Scared
As you wrote the last bullet, you groaned in frustration with yourself. Neither side of your list was outstanding, no point – singular or collective – convincing enough for you to make up your mind. You went to the kitchen and poured a glass of the wine you'd bought earlier that week. In vino veritas. Staring at your list, you took several sips and tried to find something that could help you make a decision – some secret meaning, a memory from the past week, a feeling that stood out. Eventually, you remembered your date with Hoseok and the desire you'd had to hug him. You weren't one for physical affection, not after so many years where touch only led to pain. Ally was the only person who consistently hugged you. Under Pros, you carefully wrote out Wanted to hug Hoseok. A few more memories came back and you added several more bullets under the same column.
- Jungkook is observant
- Jimin stuck around after panic attack
- Being with Jin and Yoongi felt like a real relationship
- Taehyung is passionate
- Namjoon will support choice
- Cared about their feelings
You paused after your final note. While you were far from a rude or careless person, you were notably detached from strangers. Polite people used words like shy or introverted to describe you, while less careful people chose words like cold, indifferent or simply bitch. You knew the latter descriptors weren't true. A small, yet solid, circle of friends, a group of co-workers who enjoyed being around you, and a flourishing tutoring job proved that you weren't actually a cold bitch. But this was a fact you had to remind yourself of frequently, especially as you stood examining a pro-con list for simply keeping contact with your soulmates. Heartless, indifferent bitches don't care about their soulmates. You, though, had spent the entire week concerned about their comfort. Reassuring them when they showed uncertainty in their actions, trying to make the dates not horrible. Telling Jimin about your parents to help him understand. Not hallmarks of a careless person. But the efforts you'd taken to reassure them were far from how you normally reacted to strangers, making you pause to wonder what the cause was. Were you already feeling the pull towards them as your soulmates?
Putting your pen down, you re-examined your list. The Pros side was undeniably longer, but you were unsure if that comforted you. The Cons list had all of your fears assembled in one place, staring you in the face. But they were simply that, fears of what could happen, yet unfounded in any action from any of your soulmates. Sure, Namjoon had been awkward and shifty after your first contact, but did he deserve the spot you gave him as a negative? You scratched his name off the Cons side, along with Jimin's. Who were you to judge Jimin's emotions? You read through your list of positives again. Almost every item was based on actual events and time you spent with them. No trauma-induced fears, no speculation. Simple observations of how they'd acted over the last several days. And there were a lot of positive interactions.
Glancing at the clock, you groaned. Just past 1am. You weren't sure if you would be able to sleep tonight, but you knew that focusing on your list wouldn't be productive. Yes, there were plenty of positives about staying in contact with the guys, but did that override the ingrained fear of being with your soulmates?
For the third time in less than ten days, you strode into the hotel where the guys were staying. Despite the assuredness of your strides, you felt sick inside. The anxiety that had coursed through you since the start of these dates at varying levels reached another peak. Despite Namjoon's promise, you fretted how the others would react to your decision. You stood outside the door to the conference room, unsure if you were ready to see them. Taking a deep breath, you tried to reason with yourself. This conversation was far from the hardest thing you'd done in your life, and nowhere near the scariest. Despite this logic, you hesitated to knock. You weren't sure exactly how, but your life was bound to change after this. You could hear the sounds of conversations inside the room. Softly, you knocked. The room got louder for a few quick moments before, as the doorknob turned, it went quiet. Hoseok's smiling face peered out from the opened door.
"You're here!" He shouted and his arms shot out as if he wanted to hug you. He pulled them back towards him quickly, and instead gave you two excited thumbs-up.
"Hey, Hoseok," you greeted him softly. Turning to the others, who were standing around a table and watching you, you waved slightly. Like the last time you'd eaten as a group, a table was laid out with coffee and various breakfast foods. You realized, looking around, that the guys and you were the only people in the room. "Where are the lawyers?"
"Namjoon convinced them to let us talk alone for a little," Hoseok explained, leading you over to the food. "Managed to convince them that we couldn't get in too much trouble right now."
He laughed at his joke, and handed you a plate. Despite Hoseok's jovial nature, you felt sick with anxiety and doubted you'd be able to eat much. You placed a croissant on your plate and watched the others swarm the table. When you tried to walk away from the table, Jin reached out and grabbed your plate. A scoop of eggs got placed on it, along with some slices of bacon from Hoseok. Jungkook slipped some fruit salad onto it. Jimin reached forward and carefully placed two scoops of homefries on your plate. When you saw him reach for a third spoonful, you snatched the plate away.
“I’m good, thank you,” you told him.
Though he made a soft noise in protest, Jimin let you walk away. Taking a seat at an empty table, you stared nauseous at the heap of food the guys had given you. With the panic twisting your stomach, you were sure you’d vomit if you ate more than a few bites. You saw a shape move next to you, and Yoongi sat down next to you. He placed a lumpy envelope on the table and pushed it towards you.
“The music we talked about,” he said softly, as if he wanted to keep the friendliness of your date a secret from the others. He took a sip of his coffee and watched as you placed the envelope in your bag. “You don’t have to listen to it, especially if you decide…y’know. But if you want to, it’s all on the flash drive.”
“I’ll listen. Definitely.” Despite the flutter of happiness at his follow through, you found it hard to smile at him.
“Listen to what?” Jin asked, sitting down heavily on your other side.
As the rest of the group sat down and started to eat, you found yourself feeling slightly grateful that Yoongi and Jin surrounded you. Out of the seven, they were the two who made you feel most relaxed, the care and attentiveness you'd felt on their dates creating a slight balm for your frazzled nerves. You ripped a piece of croissant off and nibbled on it, listening to Jin tell several puns and Yoongi complain. Across from you, Jimin and Taehyung picked off each other's plates. Jungkook sat between Namjoon and Hoseok, listening to their conversation as he ate from a plate with an impressive amount of eggs and meat.
"Why aren't you eating, Noona?" Jungkook asked. The room became silent and seven sets of eyes stared at you and your croissant. Your breaths became shallow. "Do you not like the food?"
"I," you started to speak, praying your stomach would stay in its place, "I actually want to talk." They all continued to watch you intently. "Talk about what I decided."
"Of course," Namjoon said, putting down his fork to give you his full attention.
You opened your mouth to speak, but closed it quickly. Each of them were staring at you as if you were the most important thing in the world. A terrifying thought shot through your mind: each of them were bigger than you. Even Jimin, the shortest of the group, was still much taller and significantly more muscular than your short, rounded form. If one of them got angry, there would be little you could do to stop them. Namjoon told you he would support your choice, but he could've been lying. Unable to breathe, you gripped your hands tightly, feeling the nails dig into your skin.
"It's okay," Jimin's voice cut through your thoughts. "Just take your time. We're not in a rush."
"Take all the time you need," Jin echoed.
Logically, you knew this was a lie. They had to be at the airport in a few hours. They were due back in Seoul for their jobs. But, as you looked at Jimin, his eyes soulful and full of honest care, you wanted nothing more than to trust him. Fighting the feeling of your racing heart, you decided to trust, if just for 5 more minutes.
"Jimin, Namjoon?" Your voice was shaky as you addressed them. "Can I sit near you?"
Jimin was up instantly, motioning for Taehyung to move and switch seats with you. As you slid into the open chair, you took a shallow breath to try and calm yourself. Jimin knew about your past. Namjoon, if he could be trusted, would support what you were about to say. In spite the pair having more uncomfortable dates, you secretly wished that they would defend you should one of the others become too angry. Maybe this was your first act of trust.
"What are you thinking?" Taehyung's voice was gentle, as if he could sense your fear. Maybe he could. You were curled in on yourself, hunched over and shoulders bent in. An old habit, partly defensive and partly preventive, trying to become as small as possible. You looked at Namjoon when you heard him say your name.
"It's okay," he said. Namjoon had the same look in his eyes as he had on your date, the determination to stand up for you regardless of your decision. "No matter what, it's okay."
"I want to be friends," you said finally. You paused, ready for some reaction – a shout, a hit, even just a noise – but none came. They remained silent, so you rushed to keep talking, wanting to say everything before they reacted. "I don't know if it's ever been done. But I don't want to be romantic and I don't want to just leave. I want to be friends. I can't be okay with romance right now. It's too much. So I don't care if it sounds stupid. Platonic soulmates is my decision. Take it or leave it."
Finished with your speech, you dared to look at them. No one had said anything, positive or negative, in response. Hoseok's face was the first you saw as you glanced up, the brilliant smile you'd come to enjoy during your date beaming at you. A quick glance around showed smiles all around. No anger or disappointment.
"Was this what spurred your questions about the study?" Namjoon was the first to speak. You nodded.
"It doesn't matter whether it's been done before," Yoongi said.
"First contacts are so unique, it's not fair to judge what one group can do versus another. We can make this work," Namjoon said again.
"But is that okay with you?" You knew that they probably had not planned for this decision. Soulmates were meant to be romantic. Jimin, though, knew of your earlier desire to be left alone, so the others may have also prepared for you to leave.
"Whatever you want, Noona, is what we want" Jungkook's voice was soft and sweet. You were especially happy not to have hurt him.
"I want to be your friend," you repeated softly. Your hands laid in your lap and you picked anxiously at the skin on a knuckle.
"Friendship sounds great." Jimin's voice was happy, but cautious. "I'd love to be your friend. I think we all would."
"You could come visit us? We could show you Korea?" Hoseok suggested.
"You could come with us now!" Taehyung shouted. "We can all hang out on the flight over and get to know each other more. And then we can show you all over Seoul. Will you come with us?"
"Hold up, Tae," Namjoon started, seeing your flabbergasted stare. "That's a little premature. There's visas and planning to do before an international trip. You know that."
"I can't go now," you said finally. Despite Namjoon's valid reasoning, you wanted to explain yourself. It felt good to have his logic behind you, though. "There's planning, yeah. But I have work and bills to pay. The school year is starting soon, so I'll start tutoring again. And flights are expensive, let alone a hotel! I can't leave now."
"Don't worry about the flight," Yoongi said.
"Maybe another time?" Jin spoke up. "If now is bad timing and preparation is needed, maybe in a few months we can have you visit?"
"That's a great idea, Hyung!" Jungkook said. "What about that, Noona? Would that be better for you?"
Technically it would be better. A few months would give you time to get to know each other more, so that you wouldn't be traveling around the world to spend time with strangers. It would also allow you to save as much as possible for the flight and hotel. If you picked up some additional shifts at the cafe, took on an extra tutoring client or two, and watched every purchase carefully, maybe you'd be able to gather enough money for the flight and hotel. And, if you timed it carefully, you could go during the winter holiday to prevent taking time away from two jobs. Plus, if your suspicions that they would be too busy to deal with you when back in their normal, pop-star lives, then you could avoid the entire thing.
"Later would be better," you agreed.
"Do you have a time that'd be best for you?" Hoseok asked.
"Maybe at the end of December?" You suggested. Josie closed the cafe for Christmas, as well as the day before and after, and on New Year's Day. Most of your tutoring clients canceled during the winter holiday too. If this was to work out, you could spend a week with them and take minimal time off from your jobs. "That'd work best for my jobs."
"What about the coffee shop?" Namjoon asked.
"Jobs?" Yoongi interjected.
"She works there and she tutors," Taehyung said. You were surprised he remembered that detail from your date. Everyone looked from Taehyung to you, and you nodded in agreement. Tae smiled brightly, proud that he knew something the others didn't.
A few of them started to speak at the same time, their voices mixing into a mess of questions. Still, no one sounded angry or threatening. Unsure of who to address or where to start, you waited for them to calm down.
"I think," Jin started and paused for the others to settle, "end of December sounds great."
You smiled softly at him across the table. Maybe Jin was being truthful on your date – he wanted to be on your side.
"And we can work to get some time off from the company too," Namjoon added.
“Do you think we’d be able to?” Taehyung asked, hopeful.
Several of them started to talk amongst themselves, discussing who at their job would be most likely to approve time off and who to completely avoid. You remained quiet, taking the time to eat a piece of melon from the fruit salad given to you. It was ridiculously sweet and ripe. Despite your still knotted stomach, you ate a few more pieces quickly.
“Why do you have two jobs?” Yoongi’s voice rose over the conversation. His brows were furrowed and he looked straight at you from across the table. His voice was contemplative.
“Because I need to.” Your answer didn’t seem to ease him. “I work at the cafe for my expenses – rent, utilities, food. I tutor to save money for my masters degree. Graduate school is expensive.”
“How long until you’ve saved up?”
“A year, if I’m lucky.” This was a partial lie. You hadn’t done the math yet, but a plane ticket to South Korea and a hotel room for a week would probably hurt your savings significantly. Plus the time taken off work. Internally, you realized it would probably be two years until you were able to pay for your program.
Yoongi looked as though he wanted to say something else. Something was making him uneasy, but you weren’t sure why. Hoseok reached out and rubbed Yoongi’s shoulder in comfort – he also seemed to pick up on the elder’s discomfort.
“What are you going to grad school for?” Hoseok asked.
“Masters in education. I want to teach.”
“That’s so noble!” Jungkook shouted.
Each of them started to talk. You were starting to get a headache from how loud they were. The door opened suddenly, bringing the conversations to an abrupt halt. The two lawyers walked into the room and addressed the guys in Korean. Namjoon approached them and started to talk. When Namjoon stopped, one of the lawyers took out his cell phone and made a call. He started speaking in quick, quiet Korean and took a seat across the room. Namjoon stood nearby in silence.
"What just happened?" You asked. Internally, you made a note to look for a way to learn Korean. You were never talented with foreign languages, struggling through your high school French classes, but familiarity with Korean could be useful. "What is he saying?"
“Hyung told them about your decision. He’s waiting there in case management wants to talk to him,” Taehyung said.
“Namjoon’s the leader for BTS,” Jin said. “He works with management on a lot of different aspects of how we exist as a group. If they have questions or concerns, Namjoon will be the first to know. And, if we have any problems, Namjoon helps us meet with management. He’s like our liaison.”
You nodded. This made sense. His responsible, thorough manner seemed ideal for a leadership role. Even after your first contact, when normal people – not you, and apparently not Namjoon – would be focused solely on getting to know each other immediately, Namjoon delayed until he had followed his contract. He even thought to bring in others who might be – and were in unpredictable ways – influenced by your soulmate connection. His dedication softened your harsh view on him slightly.
The table waited in silence, listening to the lawyer's conversation. You looked at your hands and noticed they were red and irritated from your anxious scratching, but luckily no skin was broken. Deciding the quiet time was a good time to try to calm yourself, you counted a few deep breaths. No one had gotten angry. You were safe. They wanted to be friends. Everything was okay. You were safe. As you repeated those few affirmations to yourself, a sound interrupted your calm. Jumping and gasping, you looked to see Namjoon sitting down at his chair next to you.
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," he said softly, cheeks slightly blushing. "Kicked the table."
Despite your earlier calming efforts, your heart started to race again. Why'd he kick the table? Did something go wrong on the call.
"You're so clumsy, hyung!" Jimin's voice was teasing, but his eyes met yours with understanding. He smiled at you. "Namjoon is basically the god of destruction."
Quickly, the others jumped in, each telling various stories of Namjoon's clumsiness and the ensuing hilarity. Whether or not he was trying to, Jimin and his explanation eased you. Namjoon wasn't angry, just uncoordinated. You shot Jimin a genuine smile in gratitude.
"I mean, I love teasing Namjoon, but I want to know what management said!" Hoseok said, finally ending the torment for Namjoon and his bright red face.
"In short, everything is good," Namjoon said simply. "They're a little confused about the decision to be friends, but that's not their concern. They accept it. We're going to meet with them and Bang PD next week to discuss time off at the end of December."
"And the NDA?" Jin asked.
"It stays the same," Namjoon answered. "For all intents and purposes, we don't know each other exists. No posting on social media, no talking about each other to the public, no mention of soulmates."
"My boss and coworker know I have a soulmate," you interjected. "They were there at Namjoon and my first contact. And my best friend knows that I have multiple."
"What else do they know?" This was the first time one of the lawyers addressed you. His eyes were sharp and cautious behind his sleek glasses.
"That the soulmates don't live locally."
"Did you mention where exactly your soulmates live? Any mention of names? Careers? Anything that could identify them?" You shook your head, denying disclosure. "Good. Keep it that way. Try not to tell anyone else. It would be ideal to keep this a secret for as long as possible."
"Why do we need to keep it a secret if we're just friends? We don't have to keep our other friends secret," Taehyung's voice was annoyed.
"Because the news of a soulmate, even just a soulmate friend," the lawyer's tone was condescending, especially on the last two words, "could have negative impacts. We have to do more research into what the possible repercussions are of going public."
"I don't think it's fair to keep this a secret because it might influence our sales," Jin spoke up. His tone was more respectful than Taehyung's, but still lined with frustration.
"I don't mind," you said softly. You were grateful that the lawyer was speaking in English so you could be included in the conversation. "It's okay."
"You should mind," Taehyung said. "We shouldn't have to hide you away like some dirty secret."
"If you don't care about how it will influence you, do you at least care how it'll change her life?" The lawyer's voice was cold. He was clearly done with this conversation. "Do you want her lifestyle to be changed because you're friends? Do you want her to lose all privacy? What about paparazzi? Or sasaengs? Does she deserve to deal with them just because you are soulmate friends? If we don't proceed carefully, we don't know how this will affect any of you."
"I don't want that," Taehyung said softly. He lowered his head, rebuked.
You though, had a thousand new worries running through your head. Paparazzi? And whatever sasaengs were, they didn't sound positive. You liked your life. It was quiet and simple, but you enjoyed it. You were content with your quiet existence and, if going public with your friendship threatened that, then you were fine with secrecy.
"I think keeping each other a secret is a good idea," you said again. The lawyer looked at you and nodded, approving of your caution. He walked away, done with your conversation.
"If we're keeping this all a secret," Jungkook started, "how are we going to pull off Noona's visit? Won't people see us all together?"
"I could wear a disguise like you guys do?" You suggested. "A facemask or sunglasses? But I'm not the famous one. No one will care what I'm doing."
"They'll care," Yoongi grumbled.
It was the first time he spoke in a while. His arms were crossed and he was glaring at his cup of coffee. His mood had changed sharply during your discussion about work earlier, but you couldn't figure out why. Though he seemed more brooding than angry, his unhappy mood caused your heart to beat faster and your mind to race with worry. What had you done to upset him? And, the illogical part of your brain stressed, how would he cope with those negative emotions you evoked?
"If you're linked to us in any way, people will care," Hoseok explained. "I can't remember the last time an idol publicly admitted to having a soulmate."
"There was that actress!" Jimin jumped into the conversation. "A few years back. She had a first contact with one of the camera men."
"Oh yeah!" Jin continued and supplied the name of a Korean actress you'd never hear of.
The boys spiraled into conversation about this actress, but you struggled to keep up. The conversation seemed to flow freely from English to Korean, and even the English was filled with proper nouns and references you didn't understand. You rarely spent time in groups this large and you realized, logically, that getting used to their banter would take time. Being friends would take time.
"Are you going to eat more now?" Jimin whispered to you. He motioned toward your mostly untouched food. You shook your head.
"I'm not hungry right now," you whispered back
"You should eat more," he encouraged you.
"Don't force her, Jimin," Namjoon said, soft and gently reproaching. Then he looked at you. "You don't have to eat, but there's plenty if you want to.”
You gave them a small smile, trying to reassure them that you were all right. You kept peering over at Yoongi though, who grumbled something to Hoseok as the younger man nudged his shoulder.
“There’ll probably be leftovers too,” Jin added. “You should take those home with you.”
"But you paid for it,” you protested. "You could take it on the plane for a snack?”
“Just take the food home,” Yoongi said.
You nodded in compliance as Jin said Yoongi’s name in a cautioning tone. Before he could speak more, one of the lawyers called Namjoon over. You took the interruption as a chance to excuse yourself, hurrying to the bathroom to try to catch your breath and calm down. Yoongi’s mood change had elevated your anxiety. Your skin was red and raw, and you prayed you would calm down before you continued to scratch. It had been bad enough when Jimin alone saw that, but you weren’t sure how the others would react. Finally feeling a tad calmer, you left the bathroom. In the hallway, sitting across from the bathroom door just as he had days prior, was Jimin. He said your name softly and came over to you.
“What’s the matter? You’ve been anxious since you got here and now things seem worse?” His eyebrows were furrowed in worry and you were sure he was frowning behind his facemask. “You don’t have to tell me, but maybe I can help?”
You hesitated for a moment, but something deep inside you wanted to trust Jimin. Maybe it was due to him knowing Yoongi and his moods better. Or maybe you trusted him slightly more because he kept the secret of your childhood as he promised. Perhaps it was the soulmate connection strengthening your feelings. Regardless, you decided to trust Jimin for the second time that day.
"I made Yoongi angry," you said softly. Without thinking, you dragged your nails across the back of your hand.
"Please don't, Noona," Jimin pleaded, noticing your action. He reached out as if he wanted to take your hands in his, before bringing them back quickly. He settled for twisting them up in his shirt. "Hyung isn't mad at you! He's worried. He just doesn't express himself well sometimes."
"He - but - his voice," you struggled to express your fear. Jimin's reasoning for Yoongi's tone was logical, but your mind had never been much for logic.
"It's okay, I promise," Jimin whispered. His eyes darted around, looking unsure on how to convince you. His hands, still tangled in his shirt hem, quickly grabbed his phone. "I know!" He typed a short message before sliding it away. "Hyung is coming over. He'll explain what he's feeling. I promise he's not mad, Noona."
"Will you stay?" The part of your brain that understood what Jimin said truly believed that Yoongi would not hit you. But a lifetime of associating anger and frustration with kicks and hits had created an instinct that you hadn't learned to fight yet.
"Of course I will." Jimin's smile was radiant, as if the favor you asked had filled him with warmth.
"What's the matter, Jimin?" Yoongi's voice interrupted. Whatever Jimin had texted him had not lightened his mood, his voice sounding annoyed and tired. You flinched at the sound. Jimin noticed and his eyes widened.
"Noona thinks you're angry at her," Jimin said. Though he was talking to Yoongi, his empathetic eyes remained fixed on you, reading your reactions. You were grateful that he had decided to voice the problem.
"Angry? I'm not angry." For a moment, Yoongi's voice became harsher before he stopped and breathed deeply. He ran his hand over his face before softly saying your name. "I'm not mad. I'm worried and concerned. Working too hard can be detrimental to your health." At this, Jimin scoffed lightly, but didn't pursue anything. "And Jin told me about your date. I don't want you to get hurt or sick. I want to figure out how to help you."
"I'm okay," you whispered. "I've got it under control."
A look passed over Yoongi's face, making him look like he wanted to protest. But a shared glance with Jimin made him sigh.
"Will you tell one of us if you need help?" He asked. "Jimin or Jin or me?"
You nodded slowly. Yoongi's change in tone, the reassurances from both Jimin and him, washed over you. You were safe. You were safe and no one was mad. Looking at the clock on the wall, you realized how much time had passed since you first arrived. Nearly three hours at the hotel and the anxiety you'd felt since waking had exhausted you. Part of you wanted nothing more than to say goodbye and go home to nap. The other part wanted to stay, to listen to their overwhelming chatter and learn about them as a group. Learn how to co-exist. It'd be almost four months until you saw them again, but they were here with you for a few more hours, and leaving them simply for a longer nap seemed stupid. Your contradicting desires left you confused and overwhelmed.
"Noona! Hyungs!" Jungkook's voice cut through the hall as he jogged down the hall. "Everyone is wondering where you went. We were getting worried!"
"We should probably go back into the room," Yoongi said, glancing at the people down the hall who were starting to stare at your gathering group. "We don't want to draw attention."
Following him back, Jimin walked next to you. He flashed you a smile.
"See, everything's okay," he whispered. "You're all good."
You smile back at him. The desire to pull Jimin into a hug of gratitude was strong, but you fought the urge. While you felt like you could rely on Jimin some, your mind had created a strict separation between words and actions. And you just weren't ready to cross that line.
The four of you entered the conference room to the teasing cheers of the others. You sat down in a vacated chair, between Hoseok and Taehyung. Both smiled at you and you managed a smile back.
"I was afraid we scared you off," Taehyung joked.
"We're not scary, Tae," Hoseok said, shooting him a look. "We're adorable! And friendly!"
"You are kind of scary," you said. You had tried to say it lightly, a joke based in truth, but everyone stared at you, concerned. Hoseok, perhaps remembering the conversation you had on the beach, shrugged sheepishly. "I mean, there's seven of you. You've known each other for a decade. It's an intimidating situation. Even without considering your jobs."
"I never thought of it that way," Jin mumbled.
"How would you feel if you were in my position?"
"I'd be so upset," Hoseok spoke first, reiterating what he said on the beach for all to hear. You'd meant your question rhetorically, but you were fine with his answer. "Especially since I can't truly confide in anyone."
"You can confide in us," Tae said, hopeful.
"But why would she?" Hoseok asked. "She's known us for a week and I don't think there's any reason to put that trust in us."
"It's not that," you started. "It's just…It's that…" Your voice solidified in your throat, the words coming to a halt as your tried to explain. Part of you wondered if this was a good moment to explain your past. To tell them that your trust would be long coming, if ever. Maybe help them see that it wasn't them you were afraid of, but the concept of being their soulmate of being tied to them with an unbreakable rope that was spun both of hope and deep set, undeniable fear. "I just don't…I don't want-" Before you could finish a complete thought, Jimin took over.
"You don't have to explain," he aid. He was leaning through Taehyung's space, trying to look you in the eye. "It's all okay. You don't have to say anything. You're okay."
Someone pushed a box of tissues to you. Grabbing a few, you wiped furiously at your tears. You couldn't believe you were crying again.
"I'd be scared," Jimin said, "if I were in your position. I'd be so afraid that I would never find my place in the group, or get that level of closeness that everyone else has. It would terrify me."
You tried not to cry at Jimin's words. His empathy seemed never ending and it shook you to your core. He deserved a better soulmate than you.
"I'd be overwhelmed," Jungkook spoke up, also wanting to share his feelings. "I don't know how I'd cope with us if I hadn't practically been raised like this. We're a lot."
"We are," Yoongi agreed. "I'd be frustrated that I was the outsider. Frustrated that it wasn't equal footing between us."
"And stressed over whether I could be myself or have to mold to fit into the group," Taehyung said. "Worried if I'd be accepted just for who I am."
"I'd be sad," Jin said, slowly. "Ten years of relationships that the others had built and could rely on, but I'm starting alone with everyone."
You stopped trying to hold back the tears at this point. Despite just being words, their attempts to think through the truth of the situation, of one person facing seven best friends, and feel from your perspective was truly touching. Maybe your standards were low, but you hadn't been raised to expect much compassion. They let you cry in silence.
"I'd be furious." Namjoon's voice cut through the quiet. "I'd be so pissed."
The others waited, staring at Namjoon. Hoseok raised his eyebrows, imploring Namjoon to give some kind of explanation. But Namjoon just ran his hand through his hair.
"I'd absolutely hate him."
"Kim Namjoon!" Jin cried, reproach clear in his tone.
"Not like that," Namjoon said. "It's just…" he sighed deeply and looked up at you. "I understand if you hate me."
"I don't think I hate you." It was the truth. While your connection with Namjoon was particularly tenuous, you wouldn't define your feelings for him as hatred any more. Caution and weariness, yes. But also a small amount of hope that, if you continued to be in each other's lives, you could begin a friendship. "I don't hate you."
Namjoon looked as though he was going to speak, but before he could, the lawyers spoke up in Korean. The others groaned in frustration and mumbled to each other in Korean. Jin ran his hand over his face after looking at Namjoon and his exhausted face.
"We have to leave for the airport, unfortunately," Jin said.
You didn't say anything, just nodded and watched as the guys stood up and went to gather their bags on the other side of the room. Jungkook was the first to come back to the table, a rolling suitcase pulled behind him. He looked from you, to his band mates, then back to you. It was the look you'd come to realize betrayed his hesitation.
"What's up, Jungkook?" You asked, standing next to him.
"I want to hug you, Noona," he said but, like on your date, he made no move to do it. "I want to hug you goodbye because four months is so long. But I won't."
"It'll be okay, Kookie." Taehyung appeared next to Jungkook and wrapped his arms tightly around the younger man. "Four months will fly by with our schedules! And I'm sure we'll be in contact all the time?" Taehyung's voice raised in his last sentence, looking at you for reassurance.
"We have the group chat," you said, trying to reassure Jungkook's hurting heart. "And we can figure out times to talk on the phone if you want?"
"Noona's right!" Hoseok exclaimed, coming over to hug the Taehyung-Jungkook mass. "We can figure out times that work and set up phone calls or video chats. Everything will be okay, Kookie!"
You smiled at the trio, contentedly wrapped up with each other, near to you but still a respectful distance. If you wanted to, you could easily join the hug. As you watched them walk out, good wishes being called out, you realized that maybe, one day, you would want that hug.
A/N: Sorry for the delayed posting! Next chapter is already up as a thank you for your patience!
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
Chapter 23 -- You Square All the Corners, I Straighten the Curves
On your last day together, you finally start to feel like a proper soulmate.
As you wanted to, you woke up the next morning in Yoongi’s arms. Or rather, against his body. You were laying half on top of him, cheek pressed into his chest, fingers knotted into his sleep shirt. He was awake, his fingers flitting up and down your sides. You didn’t move though, keeping your eyes closed as you listened to his heart beat. The morning was chilly and a shiver shook your body. Under you, Yoongi shifted slightly and repositioned the blankets so you were better covered.
“I know you’re up,” he said, pressing a kiss to your hair.
“Still asleep,” you disagreed, tightening your hold on him a little.
“Too bad,” he said. You could practically hear the smirk on his lips. “I was going to kiss my soulmate when she woke up, but now I’ll have to wait.”
This got your attention. You pushed up so you could look at him properly. His eyes were still a little sleepy, and his hair was a mess. There was a long red indent on his cheek where he must’ve had it pressed against the pillow. You probably looked like a wreck, your hair always unmanageable in the morning. But he was stunning, and hearing those words come from his mouth made your heart race.
“Soulmate?” You repeated.
“I mean, I thought so? Yesterday, with the kiss? And you asking me to stay? I thought – I mean, what I said in my studio – You –”
You cut him off with a kiss. Disregarding the fact that both of you probably had morning breathe, you kissed him deeply and swept your tongue over his bottom lip. Yoongi sighed into the kiss, his hands gripping onto your hips. He slipped his tongue into your mouth and you welcomed the feeling. Running your hands up his torso, you let yourself feel the mixture of lean muscle and soft edges that made up his body. Yoongi pulled away with a shuddered breath as your fingers ran over chest.
“Soulmates,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I’m still not used to hearing it. Or saying it myself. But yes, Yoongi, we’re soulmates.”
He smashed his lips against yours. This kiss was different from the previous ones you’d shared with him. It was needy and desperate. With one arm still wrapped around your waist, Yoongi attempted to move, dragging you with him as he tried to sit up without breaking the kiss. He failed though, a knock on the door interrupting you both.
"Hey, is it okay if I start some coffee?" Namjoon called through the door.
"Go ahead," you said loudly before moving back to kiss Yoongi.
"And Jin was wondering if he could start breakfast?" Namjoon continued.
"I'm gonna kill him," Yoongi grumbled.
"That's fine, Namjoon," you called back. A small part of you thought to go to the kitchen and help. But it was quickly silenced when Yoongi started to press his lips against your neck. "This is your apartment, too. Be comfortable!"
Yoongi yanked your mouth back to his. You assumed Namjoon left, but you were too consumed by Yoongi's kisses. He managed to rearrange himself so he was sitting up against the headboard. He pulled you towards him, gently tugging on your leggings and trying to encourage you to straddle him.
"I shouldn't," you whispered, pulling away from him.
"Why not?" His eyebrows were furrowed, trying to figure out what you were thinking.
"I don't want to hurt you," you mumbled. Yoongi was lean, not having the thicker muscles some of his friends had. The last thing you wanted was to hurt him. "I'm too heavy."
Yoongi's face fell. "No, no," he whispered. His hand came up to cup your cheek. "Don't talk like that. You're beautiful." You tried not to scoff. Yoongi was beautiful – able to go from looking like the boy next door to dangerously handsome with minimal effort. You were not. "I want you to sit on my lap. You don't have to, but please trust me when I say I want it." His eyes were soft with affection as he looked into yours. "I want to feel close to you."
Yoongi kissed you then. He didn't move his hands though, leaving the choice to move up to you. So you trusted him, slinging one of your legs over his until you were settled in his lap. You could feel him smile as his lips moved against yours. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you until your chests were pressed together. You deepened the kiss, tongue slipping into his mouth as you gripped his shoulders.
The bed shifted, though neither Yoongi nor you moved. You pulled away and saw Taehyung sitting cross-legged on your bed, flippantly watching Yoongi and you.
"Jin wants to know what everyone wants in their omelets," Tae said, smiling brightly now that the attention was on him.
"Cheese and mushroom, please," you said.
It felt surreal, being pressed so closely to Yoongi, his hands still stroking and kneading at the fat of your waist, all while Taehyung just watched. And Tae waited for Yoongi to answer.
"I want privacy," Yoongi grumbled, glaring at the younger man.
"I'll tell him the usual then," Tae laughed. He leaned forward and pecked your cheek. "Just save some kisses for the rest of us, hyung!" Then darted out the door.
"I think we should probably go greet the others," you said.
Your actions didn't match your words though, as you ran your fingers through his hair. You loved the feeling of his long hair and you wanted to cling to him for just a second more. Finally, a few moments later, you pulled away from your soulmate and off the bed. Yoongi took your hand and followed you wordlessly out of the bedroom, towards the kitchen, where you could already hear the other six loudly talking. When you entered, you left Yoongi's side to go and greet your other soulmates. Cheek kisses here and there, a shy hug from Namjoon.
"Is there a plan for today?" Jimin asked.
"I had some thoughts," you said. Jin handed you a plate and kissed your cheek again. "But I'm flexible. The last two days have been busy, and I know you guys are going back to a full schedule."
"What were you thinking?" Hoseok asked.
"I thought we could all go to the beach we went to for our date? It's still chilly, so there shouldn't be a lot of people. But we could explore, go to the pier? There's a few good restaurants there and an arcade."
"I'm up for a beach day," Jin said, finally sitting down with his own food. The others voiced their agreement between bites of food.
Later that morning, the eight of you piled into the two rental cars and headed off. Like you predicted, the beach was empty save a few joggers and someone tossing a frisbee to their dog. You led the guys down the path, excited to watch as they shed their facemasks. As soon as you got to the sand, Jungkook yanked on Jimin and Taehyung's arms, pulling them towards the water.
"It's going to be freezing!" You shouted after them, but they didn't listen.
You chased after them, trying to warn them as they shed their socks and shoes and rolled up their pants legs. They didn't care though, running into the water. But, as soon as their feet dipped in, they started shouting in shock, quickly running back to the dry sand. Behind this, your eldest four soulmates were laughing at the maknaes' misfortune.
"It was so cold!" Jimin complained as you stood near them
"I warned you," you said, laughing as he pouted.
"I know. But," he grinned suddenly, eyes glimmering with mischief, "I could use a kiss to warm me up."
"Ew, gross," Taehyung said. "Did you just ask her to kiss your feet?"
"No! I meant, like – No!" Jimin groaned. Jungkook burst into giggles as the other two glared at each other playfully.
"I know what you meant, Jiminie," you said, not wanting him to suffer too long. "You mean like this?"
You leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Jimin moved to kiss you back, but you pulled away. Although the beach was empty, you were still in public and you were unsure of how to proceed with being affectionate in front of your other soulmates.
"I'm cold, too!" Jungkook said.
You laughed. He was much bolder today, taking his hyungs' cues of when and how to flirt, as he had at Tae's birthday dinner. You didn't want your first kiss with him to be here, though, surrounded by the others, and you doubted he wanted that either. So you rose up on your toes and kissed his cheek. Despite his bravado, he blushed and you kissed his other cheek.
"This is twice in a few hours I've watched you kiss the others and not me," Taehyung said.
"I'm sorry," you said and pulled away from Jungkook quickly. "I didn't mean – I'm sorry."
"No no no," Taehyung rushed, taking your hands. "I was teasing! I was trying to joke, I'm not upset." He drew you into his arms. "I'm the one who should be sorry now."
"It's okay," you reassure him. "This is just still a little weird? There's so many boundaries to figure out. How affectionate can we be with each other around everyone else without it being weird?"
"Well –"
"Shut up, Jimin," Taehyung said, then leaned down to kiss you briefly.
"Hurry up, you guys!"
The four of you looked back to see Jin shouting and waving you back towards them. Jimin and Tae took off, running towards the others, but Jungkook turned to look at you. Despite the mischievous look in his eyes, he extended his arms for a hug. You couldn't deny him and went to him. Then, before you understood what was happening, Jungkook bent down, grabbed your waist, and lifted you over his shoulder with a soft grunt. You yelped in surprise.
"Put me down!" You cried.
"Nope."
"Please put me down! I don't want to hurt you!"
"No way," Jungkook said. "I've been working out more, Noona. I'm going to carry you everywhere soon."
And, to better demonstrate his point, Jungkook wrapped his arms around your legs and started walking. You shouted again in surprise and quickly grabbed onto his waist to try and steady yourself. You could hear the others laughing at the two of you. Despite the situation, you found yourself amazed at Jungkook, the narrowness of his waist contrasted by the hard stomach you felt underneath his sweatshirt. You'd never been carried like this before – no one had ever tried and you doubted you would let them – and you wondered how much time Jungkook was spending at the gym if he was able to carry you with relative ease. But you clung to him until you felt him stop walking and bend over, placing your feet back on the sand. When he let you go, you wobbled a little and Jin's arms came up to support you.
"Was that really necessary?" Jin sighed, but a smile was on his face.
"Absolutely!" Jungkook smiled brightly at both of you before he turned around and ran after the others who were walking down the beach.
"Shall we?" Jin asked, offering his bent arm to you.
You took it without a second thought, pressing yourself against his side as you slowly followed the others down the beach. Neither one of you spoke, content to watch the others goof off. Taehyung had Yoongi slung over his back, the older man's legs flailing as he got carried.
"Is this what it'd be like if we lived together?" You asked, looking up at Jin. "Little adventures around the city? Waking up to kisses and each other's cooking? Always feeling this," you paused. Loved was the word on the tip of your tongue. You felt thoroughly loved, but you didn't want to say that yet. "Always feeling this cared for?"
"I'd like to think the majority of the time would be like this," Jin said. "But there would still be difficult times. We'd still travel a lot. Comebacks make us incredibly busy, so much that we're barely home to sleep. That's something we'll have to deal with even if we live together." You nodded and tightened your grip on his arm. You understood what Jin meant. Regardless of where you lived, your soulmates would still be BTS and have the responsibilities that came with their position. "But I'd like to think that this care, this warmth, would be with us regardless."
You nodded again as the two of you finally caught up with the others. Jungkook was tracing shapes in the wet sand with Hoseok, Yoongi leaning against a rock with Jimin watching them. Off a little further, you saw Namjoon navigating a rocky patch, Taehyung nearby with his phone out. With a smile and a pat, you let go of Jin and went to find Taehyung. You hadn't spent a lot of time with him during this visit, aside from the brazen first kiss he'd given you, and you wanted to take some time with him. So you left Jin and the others, walking over the rocky bits of shore carefully until you were by Tae's side.
"What are you taking photos of?" You asked.
Tae lowered his phone and pointed out to a large flock of white birds gathered on the shore. "I like the way they look against the dark sand and water." You smiled at him and he glanced at you, hesitantly. "Are you mad at me?"
"No, absolutely not," you said, gently tugging on his sleeve so he'd turn to you. "Why would I be mad at you?"
"Because of how I kissed you," he mumbled. He put his phone away and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I didn't asked. I didn't wait til we were alone or try to make it romantic. I just grabbed you and kissed you."
It wasn't that hearing his insecurities made you happy, but it made you feel more like an equal in your odd soulmate relationship. Your seven soulmates so frequently seemed untouchable – rich, talented, handsome, confident – that you viewed them that way yourself. But moments like these reminded you that they weren't that different. They were still learning how to navigate the soulmate bonds just as you were, insecure and anxious in their own ways.
"I wanted to kiss you, Taehyung," you said. He wasn't looking at you, so you moved until you were standing in his line of sight and placed your hands on his arms. "I wanted to kiss you the night of your birthday too. I was just scared." He grinned a little. It encouraged you to keep talking. "It was passionate and confident, just like you, Tae. I wouldn't change it."
Your soulmate was beaming now, his boxy smile brightening his face. He moved his hands to rest on your hips as your hand went to cup the back of his neck. You pulled him down towards you, til your foreheads were touching.
"Plus," you whispered, feeling his hands dig into you, "we can always kiss again."
Your previous caution about passer-bys dissipated as you focused on reassuring him. Tae's breath hitched as you rose up and closed the distance to his lips. This kiss was wildly different than your first together. It was slow, his lips melding against yours as though he was putting thought into every movement, every gentle swipe of his tongue. His grip on your hips got tighter and you moaned lightly. Taehyung took that opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth and you pressed closer to him. Finally, Tae drew back to breathe, looking down at you with widened pupils. His lips were pinker from kissing, as you knew yours were too.
"We need to figure something out," he said, voice low. While one of his hands stayed attached to your hip, the other came up to cup your cheek. "If I don't get to kiss you every day, I might go mad."
"You have Jimin, though," you said. If you were in Tae's position, you would choose Jimin over yourself any day. "You're always together."
"That's different. You aren't Jimin; Jimin isn't you." Taehyung's face was serious, his eyes focused on yours. "I love Jimin, but being with him every day doesn't make up for not seeing you. The two of you aren't interchangeable in my heart." Though you had no doubt that Jimin and Taehyung were deeply in love, hearing him declare it so easily made your heart race. Would you ever be able to say the same about him? "Back in Seoul, you asked me to be selfish. And I am. I want both of you, everyday, for the rest of my life."
At that, Taehyung leaned down to kiss you again. Though it was a quick kiss, you could feel the desire behind his lips as he held onto you. He drew away before either of you could get too carried away.
"Don't want to start something I can't finish," he whispered in your ear. His low voice made your shiver.
He took your hand then and led you back towards the others. You hadn't walked far before you caught sight of Namjoon, sitting at the edge of a tide pool and staring intently at it. As you got closer, you could hear him talking in Korean. Noticing that you were now focused on his hyung, Tae let go of your hand, pressed a final kiss to the top of your head, and left you alone with Namjoon. Despite the frequent interruptions you'd had with Yoongi recently, your soulmates were surprisingly adept at giving each other privacy with you. You were unsure if it had something to do with the soulmate bond, if they'd noticed desires that you weren't even aware you had, or if it was based on years of friendship and knowledge of each other, but the seven were able to weave around each other and you with little friction.
"You found the tide pools?" You asked Namjoon as you stood to his side.
"They're fascinating, don't you think?" He said, looking up at you, smiling his wide, dimpled smile up at you. You nodded in agreement, sitting down next to him. "Their own little world, a microcosm of the vast ocean that we can see."
"It looks cozy," you said. Namjoon quirked an eyebrow, probably unsure if you'd play out this thought experiment with him. But you wanted to. "Safe, sheltered from most of the world's dangers. Together with everyone you care about." You paused to point at a crab that crawled across the rock and into the tide pool. Namjoon's eyes brightened at the sight. "I think…I think I would like to live like that."
This caught Namjoon's attention. He wasn't stupid, he understood what you meant. His head whipped towards you. His eyes were surprised, this clearly wasn't how he imagined this conversation going.
"I think that would be a nice way to live, too," he said finally. He shifted, inching himself closer to you before talking again. "What would it take for you to move into the tide pool?"
You weren't stupid either. You knew what he was really asking: when will you come with us? What would it take for you to move to Seoul, to always be with them. You had put some thought into it, but the possibility – the need – to move truly only hit you after talking with Yoongi the previous day. But you wanted to keep this hypothetical going, wanted to stay near Namjoon, so you tried to think.
"Well, first I'd have to find a decent sized tide pool. I have a lot of stuff now and I don't think it would fit in this one."
Luckily, Namjoon laughed at this, a loud giggle bursting out from his chest. You smiled, liking that you'd caused him joy. After his laughter subsided, he looked at you, eyes warm and expectant – he wanted a real answer now. Under his gaze, you felt odd, both nervous and emboldened by his attention. So, before you answered, you inched closer to him, your legs nearly touching. You couldn't face him though, still too embarrassed for that, so you focused on the water in front of you.
"School isn't the problem anymore. I would be able to do my school work from the tide pool. I could try to student teach there, even. Or, if not, that'd only be a few months away from home." That word – home – slipped from your mouth before you could stop it. You could feel your cheeks flush at the word, but you tried not to get caught up on the slip. "But I think the true delay is that I'd have to make sure that I would be useful to the tide pool." Namjoon made a small sound in protest, but luckily he let you continue. "Being a barista in the tide pool isn't really feasible," you explained, "but I could tutor from there. I'd have to crunch the numbers. How many more students to take on to supplement not being a barista? How would I even find those students?" You sighed, finally looking at Namjoon. "It's not that I don't want to move to the tide pool, I just don't want to be a burden."
Namjoon wasn't smiling anymore, his mouth set in concentration as he thought. You let him take his time, just as he gave you. While you waited, you ran your fingers over the rocks in between your bodies.
"I think the tide pool would be willing to help with that," he said finally. You drew a sharp breath and Namjoon rushed to explain. "Looking at the numbers, I mean. I know you've been handling your finances for a while, but if you want to bounce ideas off others, you can. The starfish and the anemone are good with money."
"The starfish and the anemone?" You repeated slowly. Maybe this metaphor had gone too far.
"Hobi and Yoongi," he laughed. "I was trying to be clever."
"I understand Hoseok, but I thought Yoongi would be a crab? Hard shell, soft and mushy on the inside."
"I want to be the crab," Namjoon pouted.
"Fine, you're the crab," you laughed. You leaned in, playfully bumping his shoulder with yours. Namjoon smiled at the touch. "But yeah, I'll talk to Hoseok and Yoongi. See if they could double check my numbers or something."
Both of you became quiet. In the distance, you could hear the others laughing, but neither of you moved to go back to them. After a few minutes of watching the creatures in the tide pool, you glanced over at Namjoon. He was already looking at you, a soft smile on his lips. You smiled back. Carefully, as if he was afraid to startle you, Namjoon reached over and took your hand. His hands were massive compared to yours, his long fingers weaving between yours. You watched him as he looked from your face to your joined hands and back. He seemed so hesitant, so you squeezed his hand a little tighter. His eyes grew soft as he squeezed back.
"You're not a burden," Namjoon said. "You'll never be a burden."
This time, you decided to believe him.
Late that afternoon, the eight of you went back to the apartment. Faces windburned, hair knotted from the type of breezes that came as winter started to die off, clothes damp from the seaspray. As the guys took turns showering, you prepped the burrito bar for dinner. It was easy enough to cook the meat and veggies for eight people, leaving the true burrito making to each individual. Bulk cooking was something you would have to get used to, though. After years of never cooking for more than Ally, Jay, and yourself, you knew you would have to focus on learning to cook for the eight of you. The sheer amount of food they ate was honestly a little astonishing, though you knew that they needed all the energy possible to keep up with the travel, practices, and workouts that kept them so busy. You couldn’t make their jobs easier, or even be with them as much as you wanted, but you could at least feed them well when you were together. So, as you transferred the sauteed vegetables from the skillet to a bowl to rest til your soulmates were ready, you made a mental note to spend the time before your next trip to Seoul researching good bulk recipes.
“Do you need any help?” Taehyung asked, wandering into the kitchen.
“Actually, could you grab the tortillas from the fridge? Lay them out on a sheet pan so they can warm in the oven.” You asked.
As you pulled out the tray of chicken from the oven, you glanced at Taehyung. His wet hair was starting to curl, he looked relaxed and adorable. Trying to focus, you double-checked that the chicken was cooked before putting in the wraps.
“What next?” Tae asked, looking over from the toppings he’d laid out.
“We’ve got to wait for the chicken to cool a little before shredding it,” you explained, wiping up a few messy spots on the counter. When you felt Tae’s hand on your back, though, you stopped and looked up at your soulmate. “Is everything okay, Tae?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I just…is anyone sharing a bed with you tonight?” You shook your head. “Can Jimin and I? I know we’ve only had a few days as a group, but –”
“Of course we can sleep together,” you said, wanting to calm his worries before he got too deep into them.
Before the seven of them arrived, Jin had told you during one of your phone calls that, though he missed you and enjoyed sleeping with you, he didn’t plan on sharing your bed this trip unless none of the others wanted to, which you both doubted. He’d gotten extra time with you alone, he’d explained, and he didn’t want to take away the minimal time the other six had by being selfish. You understood his reasoning, and he’d struggled to find a response when you called him the best hyung ever. So, between knowing that Jin wouldn’t come see you, that you’d already spent nights with Hoseok and Yoongi, and that your relationships with Jungkook and Namjoon were not at that stage of intimacy, you knew that no one would protest the three of you sleeping together. And, besides the logistics of it all, you wanted to sleep with them again too.
“I want to sleep together, too,” you said. “We’re going to have to wait until June to see each other again, and I want everyone to feel as good as they can going into this. It’s going to be a hectic few months for you guys. If you’re struggling to sleep, or feeling bad, that’s just going to make everything worse.” You sighed, once again wishing that this situation was different. “If it would help, I’d say that we should just pile all the mattresses in the living room and camp out for the night together like that.”
“I think we should save that for another time,” Taehyung laughed. “But I like your creativity.”
“Why haven’t you showered yet?” Jimin called out, walking towards you. He looked at the spread of food and sighed. “Have you been cooking this entire time?”
“Someone needed to cook, Jimin,” you said, “but Hoseok and Kook helped me prep and chop everything. Plus all of you wanted to shower, so I let you go first while I worked.”
“Will you go relax and shower now?” Jimin pleaded, looking at you with pleading eyes.
“I still have to shred the chicken.”
“Tae and I can do that.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Taehyung or you cook,” you said, cautiously eyeing the duo.
“That’s because we’re pretty bad cooks,” Taehyung said flatly.
“I think I’ll just stay,” you laughed, Tae’s honesty inspiring no confidence.
“We can pull apart some cooked chicken,” Jimin whined, playfully shoving Tae out of your immediate area. He wrapped you into a hug and ducked his head closer to yours so he could whisper. “I get what you’re doing. Cooking all the meals, making sure we get comfortable first. You’re trying to take care of us.” You blushed a little, clearly caught in your attempts to show your affections. Jimin kissed your forehead sweetly. “We see it, we appreciate it. But go get comfy, please.”
With two final kisses to both your soulmates’ cheeks, you left to go shower. You hoped dinner would be safe in their hands, or that one of your soulmates who was more skilled in the kitchen would be in to oversee soon. Luckily, when you emerged from the shower, pajamas on and hair wet, dinner was ready and safe.
You seven soulmates were lounging around the kitchen. Each dressed in their pajamas as you knew they were planning on an early night with a long day of travel ahead of them. You found yourself admiring them just as you had the night of Taehyung's birthday, though they couldn't be dressed more differently. The stylish suits swapped for loose flannel pants, sweatpants, and baggy shirts. Their hair was in varying stages from still dripping wet to fluffy from air drying. They were breathtakingly handsome. And, taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you wanted to see them like this all the time, relaxed and comfortable, no more than a short walk away.
"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come over so we can eat?" Hoseok asked, looking over at you.
"You guys could've started without me," you said, grabbing a plate.
They voiced their disagreement, though, insisting that they wanted to wait and eat as a group. Dinner was a mellow affair, several of you already stuck in thought about your upcoming separation. You kept glancing around, trying to burn this image to memory. It would have to last you until June, but you promised yourself that you would spend the next months doing whatever it took to be with them more often than not.
