Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
I'm new to Tumblr, so if any of these links don't work, please let me know which one(s).
Prologue "Overture"
Chapter 1 "I'm Doing Everything All Wrong"
Chapter 2 "Best Laid Plans..."
Chapter 3 "...Often Go Awry"
Chapter 4 "Agony, Misery, Woe"
Chapter 5 "Telephone Hour"
Chapter 6 "Just the Boys Now"
Chapter 7 "The Anxiety Song"
Chapter 8 "Bit By Bit"
Chapter 9 "Nothing's Gonna Harm You"
Chapter 10 "Head Over Feet"
Chapter 11 "Tell Me More, Tell Me More"
Chapter 12 "On the Steps of the Palace"
Chapter 13 "What is This Feeling?"
Chapter 14 "Blow Out The Candles, Taehyung, And Make a Wish"
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: Have y'all enjoyed the happy fluff of the last few chapters? Great, I did too! Now tell the happy fluff bye-bye.
Chapter 28: I Wasn't Born for the Rose and Pearl
Your soulmates try to spoil you, but you spoil it for them.
You woke to the feeling of Hoseok tracing your side. Exhausted from the time difference and the exciting turn of events in his studio, you wanted to stay in bed as long as possible. You shifted, trying to sink further into his hold. He peppered kisses across your bare shoulders and his hands wandered over the bare skin of your torso. After bidding the others good night, Hoseok and you had taken the time to further explore each other's bodies, touching and kissing lazily as you hadn't been able to in his studio. You'd finally fallen asleep with each other, enjoying the skinship of laying together naked.
The bed shifted. You were confused because Hoseok had only tightened his arms around you, and you certainly hadn't moved.
"Good morning, love birds."
Blinking your eyes open, you looked up to see Jimin sitting on the edge of the bed, smirking. You gasped and grabbed at the sheet and secured it over your nakedness. This didn't dissuade Jimin though, his eyes taking in the bits of skin he could see and the way the sheet laid close to your body.
"What the hell, Jimin?" Hoseok shouted, now fully awake. He took one of the pillows and placed it in front of you, letting you hug it to your chest in a further attempt to hide. "Does a closed door mean nothing to you?"
"I've been trying to wake you up for over half an hour," Jimin said. "I've been knocking on the door, texting. You guys overslept and it's late." He held up his phone, showing off the time. "Jin says that if you don't get up now, hyung, you won't have time to eat. Besides," he rolled his eyes, "you're the one who asked me to take her out today."
"We're going out?" You asked. "I thought you were all busy today?"
"I moved some stuff around, so I'm free until this afternoon," Jimin explained. He leaned over and quickly pecked your lips. "So hurry up and get dressed!"
When you finally made it into the kitchen, you noticed that Hoseok and your other soulmates were gathered around Jimin. They talked quietly in Korean, not noticing your approach. There was one plate left untouched and, assuming it was meant for you, you took a few bites from it. Eating quietly, you watched as your soulmates continued their huddle. After a minute or two of being left alone, you decided to speak up.
"Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless they're shared with everyone," you joked, using the old line Ally's mother used to scold the two of you with.
The seven jolted and turned to you quickly. You noticed Jimin shove something in his pocket with a mischievous smile on his face.
"There's no secrets," Jungkook insisted, despite his pink-tinged ears.
"It's just – ow!" Namjoon whined, rubbing at the spot on his arm that Jin had pinched.
"Hush!" Jin told Namjoon. He approached you then, putting his arm around your shoulder and kissing your cheek sweetly. "There's no secrets, jagiya."
"I'm having a hard time believing that," you said, then pointed at Jimin, Hoseok, and Taehyung, still conspiring by the counter. "Those three look suspicious."
"It's going to be fine," Yoongi chuckled. He handed you a cup of coffee, letting his fingers linger on yours when you grasped the cup. "They're being brats, but it's nothing malicious."
Your eyes widened as you looked from Yoongi to the trio, all three now smiling happily.
"At least it's not intended to be malicious," Namjoon shrugged.
"Please stop," Taehyung groaned, "before you ruin the surprise."
"But –"
Hoseok placed his hand over Namjoon's mouth, silencing whatever secrets he was about to spill. You were now very suspicious. Malicious or not, they definitely had a plan and were preventing Namjoon, their weakest link, from saying anything else.
"C'mon," Jimin said, leaving his place near the counter to come closer to you. "The sooner you finish breakfast the sooner we get on the road and I tell you what's happening."
This worked. You ate as quickly as you could, your chopstick skills decent but not good enough for speed eating. Rushing to brush your teeth and grab your purse, the guys chuckled at your haste. You were dying to know what they were planning, and excited to spend some quality time with Jimin. With your baseball hat and facemask in hand, you dragged Jimin to the door and wished the others a good day.
"So what's the plan?" You asked Jimin as soon as you were both in the car.
"Wait another minute," Jimin laughed, starting his car. You started to protest, but he cut you off. "I want to be on the road before I explain, so you can't run away."
"Are you kidnapping me?" You asked, only half joking.
"Depends on how you feel about my plan," Jimin laughed. You watched him in silence as he turned onto a new street, waiting for an explanation. "We’re going shopping,” he said finally, smiling widely.
“Okay, but why?” You asked. “I brought more than enough clothes for the trip. I even brought stuff to leave here.”
“It just started with Hobi and Tae,” he said, taking another turn. “They both love giving gifts, and I’m a little surprised they’ve waited this long to get you something.”
“Tae already bought me a skirt,” you said. He’d given it to your last night before dinner. It was sitting on your suitcase at the apartment. You were waiting for a day you’d be around Tae more to wear it for him.
“That’s not enough for him,” Jimin chuckled. “Between the two of them, they’d probably buy you a whole new wardrobe if you let them, but they know you’d resist, so they just wanted to buy a few things for you.” You groaned a little, not wanting them to waste their money when you were okay. “But then you showed up wearing Jin’s ring and all hell kinda broke loose.”
“I thought we figured that out? If any of you gets me a ring, I’ll wear it.”
“We know that,” Jimin said, pulling into a parking space at a luxurious looking shopping center. “But finding rings is going to take time and right now, I think everyone is desperate to give you something. Myself included.”
“Did I screw everything up again?” You asked as you followed him away from the parking lot and towards the stores. “Is everyone jealous?”
“I don’t think jealous is the right word,” Jimin pulled his hat a little lower on his head and kept his voice low. There were a lot of people walking around and neither of you wanted to get caught. “We’re not mad at you or Jin. It’s more that our brains are going a little crazy. Now that we know you’ll wear something we give you, that you’ll accept gifts from us and use them, we’re scrambling to get you something.”
You paused outside the first store, staring at your soulmate. You wished you were able to touch him right now, to hold his hand and be close, but you didn’t want to risk it.
“I don’t need gifts,” you told him. “Being here, being with you guys, that’s all I want.”
“I know that. I know you’re not asking for anything. But this is something we want to do.” He whispered your name and you looked into his eyes. They shone with affection and honesty. “You gave us gifts in December. I love the sweater you gave me. When I feel lonely, I wear it and it reminds me that I’m yours. Now, we want to give you something as a reminder that you're ours.”
You nodded, walking with Jimin into the store. The sentiment made sense to you, but there was one caveat.
“I do, though. I already have the clothes you left at the apartment,” you told him. “I’m constantly pulling from your drawers and wearing your stuff.”
“That is so hot,” Jimin blurted out. He stared at you with wide eyes. “You never sent a photo of it?”
“Shhh!” You hissed.
You wanted to hide from his gaze. Wearing their clothes had been purely for comfort, feeling like they were nearby, not something sexual. But Jimin was nothing if not a flirt. He followed you as you walked aimlessly through the store, not actually looking at the items, but just trying to avoid his gaze.
“Please promise to send a photo the next time you wear something of ours?” He whispered, walking closer to you than was probably appropriate.
“Please forget I said anything,” you groaned. “Let’s just go shopping.”
The first store you visited was unsuccessful. The clothes were nice, but conservative, mostly in neutral tones and expensive fabrics. You let Jimin lead you around, happy to watch him. At one point, he was looking through a rack of sweaters and you wandered off, a pair of sunglasses catching your eyes. You picked them up, looking at them casually until you saw the price. Six figures printed clearly on the tag. Carefully placing them back down, you calculated the exchange between Korean won and dollars, balking at the absurd price. You went back to Jimin, who was holding up a tan sweater. You could only imagine how much it cost.
“We should go somewhere else,” you whispered, tugging on his sleeve.
“You don’t like it?” Jimin asked, glancing between the sweater and you. “I think it’s pretty cute.”
Careful, so you wouldn’t damage it, you twisted the tag til you saw the price.
“Cute or not, this sweater is almost half the cost of my rent portion. The stuff here is too expensive.”
“If we find a more reasonable store, will you let us buy you stuff?” He asked. You nodded, feeling the compromise was fair.
The next store was worse. Though the clothing was more reasonably priced, none of it was suited to your style. Every piece of clothing seemed to be a boldly printed pattern, brightly colored, or both. Some of the styles were more adventurous than even Taehyung wore. But Jimin and you had fun, pulling out the most outlandish pieces and showing each other. The two of you laughed as you went, but decided to move on when an older woman at the cash register glared in disapproval.
You convinced Jimin to stop at a boba shop you passed. With a few months of Korean lessons under your belt, you awkwardly tried to order your two drinks. Though Jimin was at your side, he didn’t speak up, letting you communicate with the young girl behind the counter as best you could. When she handed you the drinks, you were happily surprised that you ordered correctly.
“Is the drink that good?” Jimin teased, picking up on your newfound cheer.
“It is,” you said, not able to stop grinning despite your smile being hidden behind your mask. “But I’m also just really happy right now. I’m here in Seoul, and I just had my first conversation in Korean with a stranger. And I get to spend the day with you.”
Despite his mask and hat, you knew Jimin was blushing.
“I’m glad you’re happy,” he said softly. “I want to make you happy for the rest of your life.”
You paused, staring at him. If you weren’t in the middle of a crowded mall, you would’ve thrown yourself at Jimin and kissed him senseless. Jimin never ceased to amaze you with how freely he felt, how open about his intentions and wishes he was. But unable to hold and kiss him as you wanted to, you settled for taking his hand and letting him pull you towards the next store.
It was there that your good mood ended. The clothes here were more your style than the others you'd seen today. But, as you started looking through the piles of folded clothes and racks of hangers, you realized a problem: all of the clothes were comically tiny. Confused, you shifted through options until you found what was your normal size. Turning away from Jimin, who was inspecting a pair of shorts, you carefully held a shirt up to your torso. Regardless of what the label said, this wasn't going to fit you. Not ready to be deterred, you started towards the counter where a woman a little older than you stood, flipping through a magazine.
"Did you find something you like already?" Jimin asked.
"Sorta," you answered, hugging the tiny shirt closer to you. You glanced at the shorts Jimin was holding and knew from sight that they wouldn't fit you. "I just want to ask the clerk a question."
"Do you want me to come help?"
You shook your head. You were already practicing the question you wanted to ask in your head, and you knew that the answer could be as simple as yes or no. Besides, you didn't want Jimin to hear your question. You could see Jimin's mask shift as he smiled at you, seemingly happy that you were trying to practice Korean so much.
"Hello," you said as you approached the counter. Your voice was a little shaky, but you weren't sure if that was because you were nervous to have another conversation or afraid of her answer.
"Hello," she said, smiling at you politely. She said something else, too quick for you to pick up on. Then, seeing your eyes widen, she repeated herself, slower. "Do you need help?"
"Yes, please." You showed her the shirt. "Do you have a bigger…a bigger," you stumbled, forgetting the word for size. "A bigger shirt?" You handed the shirt to her, pointing out the tag, hoping that'd be enough for her to understand you.
The woman glanced at the tag quickly before shaking her head.
"No." She then explained something else, but, despite her slow cadence, you couldn't recognize the words. Noticing that you weren't understanding, she started a new sentence. "I'm sorry, there's nothing bigger."
You nodded and, with a polite bow, thanked her. You hung the shirt back up without a second glance, then went to find Jimin. He had several pieces of clothing in his arms, taking his job today as your personal shopper very seriously.
"Hey, were you able to get your question answered?" Jimin asked as you came closer.
"Yeah, she was very nice." It was the truth: she'd been polite and patient with your beginner Korean. It wasn't her fault that you were fat.
"Then where's the shirt?"
"I decided against it," you shrugged, hoping to seem indifferent. "Can we try a different store?"
You had a feeling that going to a different store wouldn't help. You knew how brutal South Korean beauty standards were and you, frankly, didn't measure up. But you wanted to distract Jimin, not wanting your sour mood to distract from your date.
"I found some cute stuff, though," he said, holding up his selections. "Will you try them on first and see if you like any? Then we'll go somewhere different."
You didn't want to have this conversation with Jimin. Though you knew he wouldn't judge, you didn't want to explain that nothing in this store – possibly in any store here – would fit you. He looked so happy, spending the day together with the hope of being able to spoil you.
"Okay," you said finally.
Taking the clothes from him, you made your way into a dressing stall. You glanced through the pieces Jimin selected and your heart sank. The clothes were adorable and, in other circumstances, you would have been glad to try them on. Jimin had picked things that you might not have picked yourself, but were close enough to your style that you understood why he grabbed them. You wished you could try them on. Sitting down on the small bench provided in the changing stall, you closed your eyes and tried to take a deep breath. It wasn't Jimin's fault that the clothes ran so small. He probably didn't realize the size difference between your body and the clothes he handed you. You knew this wasn't his intention – Jimin didn't have a malicious bone in his body – but you felt ashamed as you hid in the room, just staring at the clothes he chose. In your mind, you heard your father's voice echoing, insults and taunts reminding you that you were disgusting and useless. That no one would ever love you.
Realizing that you would start crying if you stayed alone much longer, you grabbed the clothes and left. Jimin looked up from his phone, surprised to see you in your regular outfit.
"Are you already done?" He asked. You nodded, trying to collect yourself as you returned the clothes. "Why didn't you show me how things looked?"
"I didn't like the style," you lied. "Can we go somewhere else now?"
Jimin furrowed his eyebrows as he looked closer at you. Of all your soulmates, he was one of the best at reading your emotions and dealing with them. He took another look at you, worry in his eyes.
"What's the matter?" He asked.
"Nothing."
You didn't want to lie to Jimin, but it was easier than explaining how you felt now. As you looked at him, you realized he didn't believe you and hoped he wouldn't press the issue. You felt guilty. He was so excited to spend the day with you, and now you were ruining it. You forced a smile, hoping to lighten the mood, and took his hand.
"Where should we go next?" You asked, faking excitement as you left the store.
"There's a store nearby that Tae's sister loves," he said softly. "Let's see if they have something you'll like there."
You followed him in silence, clutching his hand as he wove through the crowd. You weren't hopeful about the next store, but as you approached it's entrance, you felt your disappointment grow. The store was filled with trendy clothes and several groups of college-aged girls wandered around. Jimin pulled his hat farther down, trying to hide from eyes that you knew would recognize him. It worked, no one approached or paid him much attention. You, though, they noticed. As you followed Jimin around the store, you could feel their eyes on you, inspecting the fat foreigner. You were sure that Jimin was talking to you, but you weren't paying attention, eyes focused on your feet as you tried to shrivel up and disappear. A pair of girls whispered as you walked past them. You snuck a peak, just quick enough to see one smirk as she looked you over. You wrapped your arms around your stomach, fingernails digging into the skin on your arm.
"How about this?" Jimin asked. You knew he was holding up something for you to see, but your eyes remained focused on the floor. If you looked at him, you knew you would cry. Jimin whispered your name and touched your arm. "Talk to me," he pleaded quietly. "What's going on?"
It was then that some of the girls burst out laughing. One pointed at the shirt Jimin still held, before making a comment. You couldn't understand the words, but you didn't need to be fluent in Korean to understand her tone. She was laughing at you. This set Jimin off. He turned to them and shouted something back, his voice furious. Their eyes went wide, not thinking they'd be rebuked. Jimin said something else, but you tugged on his arm. The more he interacted with them, the more he spoke, the more the chances of him being recognized rose. And you'd rather be made fun of by a couple of children than have your cover blown.
"I want to go home," you whispered, "please."
Jimin nodded, noticing that you were barely holding back tears. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer to him, as if he could shield you from their stares and from the intrusive thoughts flying through your mind. He couldn't, but it felt nice that he was trying. As you walked back to the car, you were sure the two of you attracted attention, Jimin's grasp on you too forward and affectionate for polite eyes. And, glancing up at him, you saw how furious he was. If you sorted through your thoughts and reasoned things through, you knew that Jimin was angry for you, pissed at whatever the girls had said. Livid that something made you upset, but not at you for being upset. But you struggled to listen to that logic, convinced that he was mad at you for ruining another date together, for being too large to fit in any of the pretty clothes he picked out.
"I'm sorry," you said when you reached the parking lot. Tears were falling down your cheeks, wetting your face mask. "I'm sorry, Jimin."
"Why are you sorry?"
"Because I'm too fat. Because I can't fit in anything here," you cried. "Because me standing next to you is a joke."
"No, no no no," Jimin said.
"Is this going to be what it's like for us? Every time we go out, people pointing and laughing at us? People wondering why you're wasting your time with me? You shouldn't have to deal with that."
Luckily, by the time you finished your rant, you were at the car. After quickly looking around, Jimin took of his mask and carefully removed yours. He cupped your cheeks, thumbs wiping away your tears.
"You shouldn't have to deal with that either," he said gently, trying to pull you out of your spiral. "People don't get to judge what we have."
You shook your head, disagreeing.
"But it's true! You, all of you, are perfect. And I am fat and ugly and –"
Jimin didn't let you finish. Pushing you back against the car, he kissed you passionately. With every movement of his mouth against yours, he tried to silence the doubt inside your head, using his plump lips to assure you of his affections.
"The standard here is impossible," he said. He rested a hand on your rounded hip, gently squeezing it. "I know that. I've struggled a lot with it myself. Hell, I still do."
"But you're perfect," you said, eyebrows raised in shock. You cupped his cheek, noticing the old hurt that was drawn across his face.
"I'm not though. I have a lot of bad qualities, a lot of things I'm insecure about," Jimin took a deep breath, as if trying to calm his own mind. He kissed you quickly before continuing. You weren't sure who this kiss was meant to help. "But the people who matter, the people who love me, don't care about that stuff. Please don't think that I care about it. That any of us care about it."
You were quiet and Jimin let you think. He was still close to you.
"I know that one conversation isn't going to fix years of hurt," he continued. "But you are smart and strong. You try to be a better person every day. And that's what's important. Not some number on a scale."
Though you didn't think Jimin rehearsed this conversation, something about it seemed a little practiced. As if, during his tough times, someone had told him the same things and Jimin repeated it to himself frequently. Though your thoughts had barely calmed down, you didn't want to force Jimin to relive his own troubles.
"I trust you," you said finally. Things weren't fixed, you weren't magically healed, but you wanted to believe everything he said.
"Thank you," he said. Then, he smirked playfully. "One of my bad qualities is that I'm an insatiable flirt."
Before you could respond, he leaned down and kissed you again. Forgetting where you were, pressed against a car in the middle of a parking lot, you looped your arms around his neck and pulled Jimin closer to you. He came willingly, pressing you further back into the side of his car and parting your lips so he could swipe his tongue into mouth. You carded your fingers through his hair and Jimin pulled away, sighing at the sensation.
"I'm not sure if that's a bad quality," you teased.
You slotted your mouth against his again, wanting to feel him. He met your energy, lips steady against yours. Jimin's hands started to wander, moving up to cup your breasts as he grinded into you. You were starting to feel lightheaded from his attention.
Somewhere nearby, a car alarm started to blare. The sound snapped you back into reality. You were in a public parking lot, making out with Park Jimin as he groped and grinded against you. You were an idiot.
"We've gotta stop," you gasped, pulling away from your soulmate.
"Why?" He mumbled, starting to press kisses down your neck and towards the v-neck of your shirt.
"Someone could see, Jimin!"
"I don't care."
"But I do."
This made Jimin stop. He dropped his hands from your body and took a step back. His cheeks were flushed and you could see the start of a bulge in his pants.
"Shit. I'm sorry." He looked around and fidgeted with the facemask in his hand. As if that mattered now. "Fuck, that was stupid. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," you said, trying to reassure him as you both got into his car. "I got caught up in the moment too." It was the truth. Had the car alarm not gone off, you worried about how far you two would've gone. That thought scared you a little, though, so you decided to make a joke. "Besides, we couldn't go much farther."
"We couldn't?" He teased, eyebrow piqued with interest.
"We couldn't. We are not having sex in the back of your car like horny teenagers."
"Sex was not going to happen back there."
"Really?" You laughed. "Because you weren't exactly cooling things off."
Jimin was quiet for a moment, slowing to a stop at the red light. He turned and looked at you, his eyes serious but warm.
"The first time we make love, it will be on a bed covered in rose petals, not in a car. There will be champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. I'll light candles."
The emotion in his voice gripped your heart. Jimin had chosen his words carefully. He'd given this thought.
"I don't need any of that," you said softly. "I just want you."
"I know you don't, but I still want to give it to you."
You nodded, taking his free hand that rested on the center console as he drove back to Hybe. The rest of the drive was quiet, both of you trying to cool off and process the events of the morning. Though Jimin's reassurances played through your head, they only mixed with the negative thoughts you had, unable to completely replace them. You walked with Jimin, disguises back on, through the Hybe hallways, until you got to the door that you recognized led to their break room. According to your soulmates' shopping plan, you weren't due back at Hybe for almost another 2 hours, and you knew the others had things on their schedule, so you were shocked to see Jin in the room when you entered. He was on the phone, pacing back and forth as he talked with someone. He turned around, hearing Jimin and you plop down on the couch, and looked you both over. His eyes narrowed a little, eyebrow raised in question. His stare made you shift uncomfortably, feeling as if your shirt was a little too tight, and you grabbed a throw pillow to hold on your lap and cover yourself. Jimin put an arm over your shoulder.
"Why are you back so early?" Jin asked when he finally hung up his phone. "Where are your bags?"
"I just didn't find anything I liked," you said, quickly answering before Jimin could speak up. You didn't want your meltdown to become a concern when they were so busy. Maybe after their concert in two days, you'd bring up what happened, but not before. "So I just asked Jimin if we could come back and hang out."
Jin knew you were lying. He glanced at Jimin, who just shrugged. The two shared a look that you knew meant they were going to talk later.
"Hobi and Tae are going to be sad that you didn't let them buy you anything," Jin said, trying to get more information from you.
"Maybe we can go shopping another time," you offered halfheartedly. "Where's everybody else?" You asked, hoping to distract them both, and they both knew what you were doing. The eight of you shared a schedule and you could've easily looked at that to see where your other soulmates were.
"Yoongi and Taehyung are still at their final fitting for the concert. I came here after my fitting ended to call my parents and Namjoon went back to his studio after he was done. He said that inspiration struck last night," Jin explained, deepening his voice to mimic Namjoon's, "and he wanted to go work on something quick. Jungkook is on a live. Hobi is editing that track he was supposed to finish yesterday."
You blushed at the last comment. The memory of how you'd spend yesterday afternoon, naked and laid out on Hoseok's studio couch, washed over you. The way you felt right now, so self-conscious and ready to hide, felt completely removed from the way you let Hoseok touch and stare at you barely twenty-four hours ago. While you were in your thoughts, Jimin and Jin continued to talk.
"Jin, do you have an extra sweatshirt?" You asked when there was a lull in the conversation.
"No, are you cold? I can adjust the a/c for the room?"
"It's okay!" You insisted. "Just a little chill."
You saw Jimin out of the corner of your eye, though, his expressive eyes filled with sadness. He noticed the pillow you clung to, and undoubtedly understood that you wanted the sweatshirt to hide in, not because you were cold. Jin glanced between the two of you, knowing he missed something but not what. He pulled out his phone though, quickly typing before tossing it down on the couch and sitting down next to you and Jimin.
The three of you started talking about plans for later that week. Potential tourist sites that they wanted to take you to, an observation tower, an historical village. They were showing you pictures on their phones, trying to gauge your interest when the door opened. Namjoon strolled in, a sweatshirt in his hands and one earbud in, clearly talking to somebody. He smiled in greeting to the three of you and offered the sweatshirt to you wordlessly. You looked up at him, confused. Namjoon said something quickly into his phone, before placing the garment in your lap.
"Jin said you were cold," he said softly, then turned to leave.
You watched him walk out in silence, then looked at Jin and Jimin. They were smiling at each other, amused at their leader’s actions.
“What just happened?” You asked, fingers running over the soft fabric on your lap.
“I texted the group chat for a sweatshirt,” Jin said, shrugging. “Guess Namjoon was the first to answer the call.”
“Hyung left his work for you,” Jimin teased.
You shot Jimin a glare, but slid Namjoon’s sweatshirt over your head. It smelled lightly of soap and cologne, and you tilted your head down to get a better smell. Jimin watched you with wide eyes, taking in the sight of you in his friend’s clothes.
“That is hot,” Jimin murmured, a flirty grin on his face.
“Hey!” Jin scolded. “Don’t be a pervert.”
Jimin just laughed and got up to grab a drink from the fridge against the wall. You took the opportunity to inch closer to Jin, who wrapped his arm around you with a smile. Leaning further against him, you softly kissed his cheek.
“Can we stay together tonight?” You asked him. “I’ve missed you.”
“Of course we can, jagiya,” Jin said, tightening his arm around you. “You never have to ask.
You NEEEEEEEEED to write new stories. Your writing is perfect, just finished the story and I’m speechless at how good you create a world. We need more of your writing Im obsessed with your story!!!!!!!!!!
Hey there!
I'm so glad you're enjoying When You Touch Me! And that you've caught up (or have come over to say hi from AO3)!
WYTM was a long term labor of love. I wrote it over the course of two years. I was lucky when I first started writing it and got to sit alone and write on a train for 2 hours each day during my commute, but that didn't last. Life got messy and there were sometimes unexpected, long-term breaks. I went completely awol for 4 months once.
I love writing. I've wanted to write and tell stories since I was a little kid. But it doesn't always come easily to me -- my job can be pretty high stress and my health problems take a lot out of my day to day energy.
I have started a new story -- it's a poly!ot7 story, but I decided to completely dive in with an OC. It's a mobster AU and will have multiple POVs. I made a (shitty) Microsoft Paint cover image for it. It even has a title and I hate creating titles. (WYTM's first AO3 posting was actually delayed because I couldn't come up with a name for the fic 😂.)
I just, unfortunately, seem to have made this new story a bit too ambitious for my own good. I've been stuck on a specific chapter since late January and every time I open up the document, it's a slog. The best singular day of writing I've had with this chapter was about 200 words. This Monster Chapter just haunts me. Sometimes, on slow days I work, I throw up the Monster Chapter and just stare at it, hoping something will come.
So I hope you'll all stick around while I marinate in my writing troubles. There's so much more of WYTM to get through and I love this story so much. I'll make sure to post here as soon as I get a new story reader-ready.
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: You didn't think I was just gonna leave you hanging, right? This time we're gonna get spicy.
Chapter 27: I Like the Feeling of Being Together, With You
What exactly happens after Hoseok explains why he has a box of condoms in his studio?
"You keep condoms in your studio?" You asked as he walked back to you, trying to keep your nerves at bay.
"Not normally, no." Hoseok knelt back on the couch, his eyes concerned as he picked up on your uncertainty. He kissed you deeply, letting your tongue swipe into his mouth as you craved validation. He gave it to you, his hands squeezing your thick thighs before pulling away. "Right before you came in December, we all got pulled into a meeting. Seijin said he didn't care about whatever was really going on, but that he didn't want any surprises and gave us each a box. I put it in my drawer and just kinda forgot about them."
That's when you noticed that the box was still in its cellophane wrap, completely unopened. You blushed, embarrassed by your previous self-doubts. You pulled your soulmate down for another kiss, letting the box fall onto the floor nearby. Your hands ran along his narrow waist, carefully unbuttoning his jeans. As you let your fingers dip under the waistband of his underwear, Hoseok sighed at the sensation. Your soulmate rolled his hips against yours again and you let yourself relax into the feeling of him.
As you ran your fingers over his hip bones, Hoseok let his hands wander up your torso til they rested on your breasts. He cupped them, thumbs tracing soft patterns against the skin until one swiped boldly over your nipple. You gasped at the sensation, and Hoseok pressed open-mouthed kisses down your neck and collarbone. You let your hands grab at his ass, and your soulmate leaned back with a smirk.
“I like it when you’re handsy with me,” Hoseok teased.
You leaned up for a kiss, distracting him as you hand moved to grasp his hardened cock through his underwear. Hoseok pulled away with a deep moan.
“Handsy enough for you?” You teased.
“Fuck yes,” he groaned, pressing you back down into the couch with a heated kiss.
His lips didn’t stay against yours for long, though. He brushed his lips down to your chest, kissing and gently nipping at the skin of your breasts. As his tongue swept over a nipple, you arched your back, wanting more of the wet sensation against you. Hoseok followed your wordless plea, swirling his tongue over your nipple again as his fingers toyed with the other.
Over his boxer briefs, you rubbed again at his dick. Somewhere, in a very primal part of your mind, you were proud of yourself. Despite all your flaws, you’d managed to get Hoseok turned on and sucking on your tits. But you’d dive into that feeling later.
Hoseok finally pulled away from your chest. Sitting back on his heels, he looked down at you with hooded eyes. His hands went down to your jeans and he unbuttoned them quickly.
“I need to get these off of you. Now,” he said, voice lower than you’d ever heard it.
“Hoseok, wait,” you needed him to slow down, just for a minute.
Your soulmate froze.
“Do you want to stop?”
“No,” you said. “It’s just that I haven’t done this in a while. I might be a little rusty.”
Hoseok chuckled, but kissed you quickly.
“It’s been a while for me too,” he said. He rolled his hips, pressing his bulge against you while looking down at you with hooded eyes. “But I want to do this together. Do you want this?”
“I do,” you whispered.
You went to finish what Hoseok had started and began to pull at your pants, but he swatted your hands away.
“I want to do this part,” he said.
He pulled your pants and underwear down in one pull, which you were grateful for. Had you anticipated having sex this trip, you would have invested in cute underwear, but that was a moot point now. Hoseok stared down at your naked form, hands running over your thick thighs and reaching towards your ass. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your hip. You didn’t want to be the only one naked though, so you pulled at his boxer briefs, tossing them aside.
For a moment, neither of you moved. You stared at each other, breaths heavy as you let your eyes hungrily take in his form. Hoseok’s body was glorious, all lean toned muscle, lines from his narrow hips leading towards his erection. Gathering your courage, you reached for him, wrapping your hand around his leaking cock and stroking it slowly. Swiping your thumb over the head, you spread the precum around, using it to help ease your pumps. Hoseok rolled his head back, moaning loudly at your movements. You sat up to kiss him.
“Shh,” you whispered, hand still pumping his cock. “Don’t forget we’re at your office.”
“My studio is soundproof,” Hoseok purred. “We can be as loud as we want.”
As if to emphasize his point, he moaned again as you squeezed him. Hoseok kissed you hungrily, pushing you back down onto the couch. His hands couldn’t stay still, moving over your ass and thighs, kneading as he went.
“I’ve wanted to touch you like this for so long,” he murmured against your neck before placing a wet kiss there.
“More, please.” You needed him to keep touching you and you weren’t afraid to beg.
Hoseok slid his hand between your legs, his fingers softly tracing through your folds. You felt a finger circle your clit and you couldn’t hold back your moan. This encouraged him. He repeated the motion again, creating a steady motion over your clit and lips as your breathing grew harsher. You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him desperately as he kept tracing you. He nipped at your lip as he slid a finger inside you. You whined at the sensation, already wanting more of him.
“You like that?” He asked, pupils blown as he stared down.
Unable to find your voice, you nodded. Wanting more, you yanked on his hair, trying to bring him back to your mouth. Hoseok didn’t follow, though.
“I want to hear you,” he rasped.
“Yes,” you pleaded. “More, please, Hoseok. More.”
This time, he listened, pushing another finger into you. You cried out at the sensation. Clinging to him, Hoseok kept moving his hand, two fingers inside you and his thumb back against your clit. For a few minutes, the only sounds were your ragged breaths and the squelching of the wetness between your thighs as Hoseok continued to work you towards your orgasm.
“I’m close,” you whispered, fingers digging into his shoulders, the thought of his concert so far from your hazy mind that you didn’t hold back.
“Good,” he said, his voice low as he stared into your eyes. “I want you to feel good.”
And, with a final twitch of his hand, the tightness in your stomach unfurled and you let out a soft cry. He kept moving his fingers slowly, helping you ride out your high. Hoseok beamed down at you, clearly happy with himself and getting you off. He leaned down to kiss you, lips moving against your, desirous. As you kissed and his hands went back to your ass, you wrapped your hand around his dick again, pumping him. Hoseok’s hips twitched, shoving his cock harder into your hand. But, after a few thrusts, he stilled and grabbed your hand.
“I won’t last long,” he groaned. His eyes were closed tight, eyebrows twisted as if he was trying to will his body to obey him. “I need – I want to be inside you. Can we?”
“I want you, Hoseok.” You told him.
You didn’t think it was possible to put a condom on that quickly. But, before you knew it, Hoseok was gripping your hips, cock hovering just before your entrance. You cupped his face, staring at him lovingly. He pushed inside you slowly, both of you moaning at the sensation. After a few shallow thrusts, Hoseok leaned down, kissing you passionately. While one hand remained on your hip, the other roamed up your side, caressing you as your tongues met. He started to thrust. Slowly, steadily setting a pace as his hips met with yours. He seemed too focused, too controlled, so you ran your fingers through his hair.
“Don’t hold back,” you told him.
“I want to last,” he mumbled. “Want this to be good.”
“Being with you is good.”
You hooked a leg around his waist, pulling him deeper into you. Breaking with his pace, you rocked your hips quickly against him. This broke his restraint. He moved harshly, slamming his cock into you faster and harder than before. You clung to his shoulders, gasping as the new sensations rocked you.
“You’re so wet,” he moaned, hips still meeting yours desperately. “So fucking warm.”
You let your mind get hazier as Hoseok continued his thrusting. As his pace grew erratic, he pressed hot, needy kisses over your neck and face. With a final thrust, he stilled and groaned as his cock twitched inside you. He pulled out of you slowly, kissing you sweetly as he withdrew. He tied up the condom, wrapped it in a few tissues and tossed it in his trash can before returning to the couch. He got back on the couch and he kissed you again.
“We should clean up,” you whispered, smoothing your hands over his hair.
“A few more minutes,” he asked, laying down near you. “Just a few more minutes like this first.”
"Remind me to thank Seijin later," you murmured, your face buried in the gentle curve between Hoseok's neck and shoulder.
"Please don't," he begged.
He laughed though and you smiled, enjoying the sound. You were draped over him, your bare chests still pressed together and your legs tangled. Both of you were only in your underwear, having stripped back down after visiting the bathroom to clean up, and now enjoying a post-sex cuddle session. He stroked your back with one hand, the other woven together with one of yours. You shifted and kissed him sweetly.
"Can we stay together tonight?" He asked. "I know we've spent a lot of time together today, but I just want to stay close. I'll be busy all tomorrow and won't have much time to hang out. And the next day we have a sound check and then the concert…"
"It's okay," you said, one hand soothing over his arm. "Of course we can stay together. I want to be close with you too."
Your soulmate smiled and squeezed you tightly. You shivered, the air conditioning in the room up too high. Hoseok pulled down a blanket from the back of the couch and draped it over your bodies. Sighing contentedly, you snuggled deeper into him.
"I want to stay just like this," you admitted.
"I do too, but we have to leave soon."
And, as if it'd heard him, Hoseok's phone started to buzz. You grabbed it off the floor and handed it to him.
"I know, I know," he groaned as he answered the call. "We're coming." You weren't sure who he was talking to, but you watched your soulmate roll his eyes dramatically. "Just let me save what I'm working on and we'll be down, okay eomma ?"
"Your mom?" You asked after he hung up.
"No, Jin."
You laughed. He motioned for you to sit up, and the two of you started sorting through the pile of clothes on the floor. As you tried to smooth your hair to make it look less tousled, you stole a few more glances at your soulmate.
"Hey, Hoseokie?"
"Yeah?"
"You said in the car that you all had stuff to work on today. Was this what you had scheduled?"
Hoseok threw his head back, laughing. "No, I was supposed to be editing a song. But I have time tomorrow to work on it."
"I didn't mean to distract you."
"Trust me," he smiled and hugged you, "this was far more enjoyable. But, in the future, I'll put it on the schedule if you'd prefer."
"It's cute that you assume there will be a future," you smirked, feeling bold.
Again, he laughed, knowing there was no truth behind your words. You leaned up and pressed a final kiss to his lips, knowing that you wouldn't be able to cling to him in the halls as you wanted to. Hoseok handed you your mask and baseball hat, and the two of you left to join the others.
A/N: Despite reading smut for longer than some of you have been able to read, and potentially longer than some have been alive, this was my first time writing smut. It was intimidating to post it to AO3 for the first time, and it's just as intimidating to post it here. But I hope you enjoyed.
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: If you read this when it was originally put on AO3, you might notice there's a small change to the end of the chapter, but it's a style change for posting here and nothing's been taken out. Regardless, words cannot express how excited I am for you all to read this.
Chapter 26: Let Your Soul Take You Where You Long To Be
It's summer in Seoul and you're unsure if you can handle the heat.
Despite the nearly sixteen hour flight, you were bouncing with excitement when you finally touched down at Incheon International Airport. You immediately texted your soulmates, letting them know you arrived safely, and texted with Jiho to figure out a meeting spot near the baggage claim. Yanking your suitcase, heavy with extra clothes you planned to leave at the apartment, towards the meeting spot, you were surprised to see Jiho by herself.
"Welcome back," she said.
"It's so nice to see you again, Jiho," you said. "Where's Seojun?"
"He was having trouble finding a parking spot," Jiho explained. "He dropped me off so I would be sure to meet you." You followed Jiho through a crosswalk before noticing her smile. "I know where he's parked now, though."
In the far back corner of the parking lot, Seojun was standing outside his black SUV. You greeted him in your rudimentary Korean, which made him smile. He took your suitcase from you and motioned towards the back door.
"Climb in," he told you.
Taking off your backpack, you opened the back door and froze. In the back seat, in loose jeans and a pastel t-shirt, sat Hoseok. He was smiling brightly and holding his arms open to you. You jumped into the car, quickly sliding across the seats and into his arms.
"You didn't say you were coming to pick me up," you said, surprised but happy.
"I snuck away," he said, hands running up and down your back. "I couldn't stand having you here and not seeing you immediately."
Then he leaned down and kissed you. You kissed him back eagerly, missing how his lips felt against yours. He pulled your body closer, and let his tongue swipe over your lip. You parted your lips, letting him deepen the kiss
Two sharp knocks interrupted you. Hoseok pulled away reluctantly just as Seojun and Jiho opened their doors and got into the car.
"Did you like your surprise?" Jiho joked.
Now you understood her earlier smile, in on the secret that one of your soulmates was waiting to surprise you. Seojun smirked as well, pulling into traffic. Without asking, he raised the partition between the front and back, giving the two of you a little privacy.
"What's the plan for today?" You asked, looking up at Hoseok. He was still smiling.
"We'll be going to Hybe first. The guys are all there, so you can say hi to everyone. We ordered lunch to eat together. This afternoon, we have a final dance rehearsal. If, after lunch, you want to go back to the apartment and relax, that's fine. Each of us have different things to do after practice, but we'd be back for a late dinner."
"I don't want to go back to the apartment alone," you said. You leaned against him as much as you could while wearing your seatbelt and pressed a soft kiss to his neck. Hoseok blushed, but wrapped an arm around your shoulders. "I want to be with you guys. I don't mind hanging out while you work and practice. I do want to shower, though."
"That's fair," he said laughing. "We have some showers there you can use. They're meant for employees after their workouts and dance practices, but I don't think anyone will care."
"I like that idea." With his arm around you, you felt so calm, your breaths slowing. You could've fallen asleep, but you didn't want to miss a second of time with Hoseok. "How have you guys been? Honestly."
"It's been rough, I won't lie," he sighed. "We've been so busy that our schedules are really erratic. There's really no way to get a good sleep schedule going during these times. And the fact that we're all struggling to sleep when we do get down time has been bad."
"I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to hurt you guys. I don't want you to struggle."
"I know, we know" he whispered, quickly kissing your forehead. "And you're working to move here, so we also know it's not permanent." You took his hand, lacing your fingers through his. Hoseok pulled back a little, and lifted your hand up, inspecting Jin's ring on your finger. His eyes narrowed a bit as he looked at it. "You have a ring?"
You felt your heart start to race a little at his hard stare and pointed words. You forced yourself to take a breath though, deep and slow, in and out. This was Hoseok. He wouldn't hurt you, none of them would.
"It's from Jin," you explained. "He told me about couples rings in February. He wanted to get them."
"So that's what he's been hiding on the chain!" Hoseok laughed. "He's been so secretive about it these last few weeks, dodging everyone's questions about the new jewelry." Hoseok paused, his thumb running over the ring. "But you said February?"
"Yeah. When he came to surprise me. He called it our anniversary, so I think that's when we became official."
"Hmm," Hoseok said softly. He kept hold of your hand and inched closer to you. "If I remember correctly," he started, his voice low and his eyes looking into yours intensely, "we became official in January?" You nodded, unable to find your voice. "So that means our hundred day anniversary was in early May?" You nodded again. "Then why don't you have my ring on your hand as well?"
"I didn't know about them until Jin brought it up," you whispered.
"So if I bought you a ring, would you wear it?"
"Every day."
Hoseok smiled, pleased. "Then I'll have to go shopping."
Seojun parked in the underground garage the guys had used the first time visited Hybe. Before getting out of the car, both Hoseok and you adjusted your hats and face masks to cover you while walking through the hallways. Which was a good idea, as the halls were busier today. Jiho and Seojun walked with you two as you dropped your suitcase off at Hoseok's studio before leaving you both at the door to a break room. Inside, you could hear your other soulmates talking. Pulling his mask off, Hoseok smiled and grabbed your hand. You copied him, excited to see the others.
"Look who I found!" He called out as he pulled you through the door.
A chorus of shouts rang out, the six other men excited to see you. Jimin ran to you, tackling you in a hug, with Taehyung not far behind him. Unable to keep your balance, you tumbled to the ground, bringing them with you.
"I've missed you," you laughed, hands stroking their backs as the two soulmates clung to you.
"Go easy or you'll get hurt!" Yoongi scolded, helping the three of you up.
You hugged him as soon as you were on your feet, sighing as the comfort of being with your soulmates again soothed you. Jin swept you into his arms as soon as you'd left Yoongi's. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, knowing you'd be too embarrassed if he went farther right now. Jungkook hadn't thought that through, though. He kissed your lips, and a chorus of taunts sprung up from the others.
"Jungkookie!"
"So bold!"
"Oh wow!"
"Our baby is all grown up and kissing girls!"
Jungkook groaned with embarrassment, leaning down to hide his blushing face in your neck. You stroked his shoulders soothingly.
"Stop being mean," you scolded them lightly. You liked Jungkook’s affections, and didn’t want them to embarrass him into stopping.
They continued to tease though. You pressed a kiss to Jungkook's head and released him from your arms, letting the blushing man go to sulk by the food as Jimin and Tae taunted him. You finally saw Namjoon, leaning against the back of a couch, arms crossed over his chest. Though only in a white t-shirt and some plain joggers, he looked incredible, the fabric of his shirt pulled tight over his chest and the muscles in his biceps taut in their position. Maybe it was your imagination, but he seemed to become more handsome every time you saw him. With a dimpled smile, he opened his arms for a hug. You melted into his embrace, squeezing him tightly.
"Are you hungry?" He asked after a few moments, his arms still around you. "We have lunch."
"Lunch sounds great," you told him.
Jin pulled you away from Namjoon, leading you to a couch where he sat down next to you. Jimin handed you a container of noodles before distributing other containers.
"We weren't sure what you wanted," Yoongi explained. "But you seemed to really like japchae last time. We have other stuff if you want to swap."
"I've actually been craving japchae ," you said. Feeling giddy and bold in their presence again, you leaned forward and quickly kissed Yoongi. He blushed at the unexpected affection. "How'd you know?"
Yoongi didn't answer, pushing some rice around his bowl and ignoring the soft chuckles of the others.
"How was the flight this time?" Namjoon asked.
"It was nice! The weather was good, the flight was smooth.” You paused to take a bite of your food. But as you brought your chopsticks up, the table went quiet.
“What is that?” Taehyung asked, pointing at your right hand.
“Jin got me a couple’s ring.”
The table erupted into chaos. Jin smiled smugly, pulling the chain with his ring out from under his shirt for the others to see.
“Why did you get to give her a ring?” Yoongi asked, looking suspiciously at his hyung..
“Because I’m the only one who brought it up apparently,” Jin said.
“That’s not fair!” Jimin complained. He turned to face you. “I want to get you a ring!”
“If Jimin gets you a ring, then I get to buy you one too,” Tae said, not wanting to be out-romanced.
“Can I get you one, Noona?” Jungkook begged from across the table.
You hadn’t predicted that Jin’s gift would cause this much trouble. You never wanted any of them to feel excluded or jealous. Seven rings seemed excessive, but if it made things feel more equal, then you’d figure out how to wear them.
“I didn’t know about the tradition until Jin told me in February,” you explained. “He brought it up first. No one else mentioned it so I figured you didn’t care. And I just wasn’t going to ask for jewelry.”
The others fell quiet, staring down at their plates as they realized that it was a misunderstanding, not favoritism.
“But, would you wear something if we gave it to you?” Jungkook asked.
“I would,” you said, and everyone relaxed.
“Hey Hobi,” Yoongi said, “why didn’t you seem shocked at the ring.”
“I found out in the car,” Hoseok said, shrugging.
“The car?” Namjoon asked.
“Yeah, when I went with Jiho and Seojun to the airport to pick her up.”
“You said you had a dentist appointment!” Jin said.
“I lied,” Hoseok laughed, and shoved a bit of chicken into his mouth.
As it had your first trip over, a quick shower left you feeling refreshed. The warm water felt wonderful, soothing your tight muscles after so many hours cramped in your plane seat. You took a few extra minutes to blow dry your hair, not wanting to wander around the building dripping water. The guys had told you where their rehearsal was, and you made your way down the hall, hearing the faint beat of a song behind the closed door. Not sure where the door would open to and not wanting to walk in during a take, you waited for the song to end before entering. Luckily, you entered at the back of the dance studio, near a row of chairs and bags. Seijin was leaning against the wall, and waved you over. You stood near him silently, watching as your seven soulmates spoke with a man you didn’t recognize. None of them noticed that you’d entered, focused on their work.
“That’s one of their choreographers,” Seijin whispered, nodding at the other man. “They’re just tightening a few things up. It shouldn’t take too much longer.”
You nodded, not wanting to disrupt them. Honestly, you were more than happy to stand with Seijin and watch their dancing through the mirror. You’d never seen them work before, and watching the focus and intensity that they practiced with was fascinating. It was a completely different side of them that you hadn’t seen before. They were professionals here, so different from the goofy men who settled disagreements with childhood games and teased each other so easily. You watched as they went through the steps, stopping every so often to speak to each other or the choreographer. The choreographer eventually said something, and the guys sighed.
“A quick water break,” Seijin whispered to you.
You knew that, with the choreographer in the room, none of your soulmates would approach you. But it didn’t prepare you for how they barely acknowledged your presence, most not giving more than a quick glance your way. You knew it was for the best, any real interaction between them and an unknown woman would probably raise suspicions, but this was a far cry from how happily they’d greeted you only hours before. Hoseok, though, gave you an extended glance, his eyes looking you up and down as he took several long drinks from his water bottle. When the choreographer called them back, he smirked a little and went back to the floor.
As the opening beats of Blood, Sweat and Tears played, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. You knew Hoseok was an excellent dancer, that he took pride in his skills and what he brought to each routine, but seeing him dance in person was different. As he swept through the movements and rolled his body, you felt your cheeks start to flush. Even as he held his pose through the start of Yoongi’s rap, you focused on him, the intense look on his face. When his hands smoothed over his chest and came to rest at his waist as he thrusted, your mind wandered, wondering what it would feel like to have your hands trace that same path. You were grateful for the face mask you wore, not wanting Seijin or their choreographer to know how affected you were by the dance. As they went into the jumps and spins of the chorus, you felt amazed at the way he could move his body, the endless contortions seeming so graceful for him. Though the room was air conditioned and cool, you felt unnecessarily warm. You wondered if you could just ignore him, stare at the floor or at the clock on the wall until the song was over. But you couldn’t take your eyes off him, drawn into his electric presence. And, as he fell to the floor and writhed, once again thrusting his hips into the air, you just hoped that you would make it out of the studio without melting into a puddle. As the song finally ended and they held their last pose, you caught Hoseok staring at you through the mirror. His chest was heaving with exertion, but he held your glance. He was fully aware of you.
His eyes didn’t leave yours as their choreographer started talking to them. When the man finally left, Seijin took over. You weren’t sure what was going on, but you kept focused on Hoseok. It felt as though you would explode if you weren't able to be closer to him and, though Seijin knew about the soulmate bonds, you didn’t want to be too personal in front of their boss. So you stayed leaning against the wall. With a final goodbye to the group, and one to you in English, Seijin left.
“How did you like watching us practice?” Jungkook asked, brushing his sweaty hair out of his face.
“It was cool,” you said. It was the only answer you could think of at the moment, because you weren’t going to tell them your honest opinion.
“I can’t wait til you get to see us perform at Festa!” Jimin said.
“The concerts are really something else,” Namjoon explained, taking a drink of water. “The crowds are amazing.”
“You need an ARMY bomb, though,” Tae said.
“I’m sure we can find an extra one somewhere,” Yoongi told him.
You just nodded, understanding that getting to see them perform in their element was something they were looking forward to. Honestly though, you weren’t sure you’d survive the performance if this rehearsal was any indicator.
“I think we all should shower,” Jin said, rising up from his place on the floor. “But you can wait for us in the break room from earlier. It shouldn’t take too long.”
“Okay,” you agreed. “I’ll see you guys in a little.”
They all filed out of the room until the only people left were Hoseok and you. He hadn’t spoken yet, quietly watching you. The look in his eyes reminded you of how he stared at you in your kitchen, carefully restrained hunger. You took a few deep breaths, hoping to calm your racing.
“You’re an amazing dancer,” you told him, wanting to break the tension.
“I’m glad you think so,” he said, smirking again. “You know, you can take your mask off now. It’s just us.”
“It’s okay. I’ll just have to put it on again in the hall.” You knew that Hoseok was aware of how flustered you were, but you would be damned if you took off your mask and let him see how bright your cheeks were. “You need to go shower, anyways. I’ll see you in the break room.”
You turned to leave, but Hoseok reached for your hand, stopping you. He closed the gap between the two of you, and you could see the sweat on his skin. You wanted him desperately, and it felt dangerous to be so close to Hoseok at the moment. He stared at you for another moment, before reaching into his pocket and placing a small plastic card into your hand.
“The key to my studio,” he whispered. “Wait there for me?” You nodded quickly. “I won’t be long.”
At that, Hoseok left you alone in the studio. You took a few moments to collect yourself, not ready to go out into the hall and risk being seen by someone. You weren’t sure how you would explain your presence to someone if you were stopped and questioned, but you wanted to have your wits about you if it happened. Luckily, this hallway was fairly empty when you ventured out, just two young guys balancing a few trays of coffees in their hands. College interns, you guessed, who were more focused on not spilling the drinks than on you.
You swiped Hoseok’s key card once you were sure no one was around. You hadn’t seen his studio beyond the quick look into it during your first visit to Hybe. It seemed bigger than you remembered, more intimidating, but maybe that was your imagination. You glanced over his desk, a few figurines on it along with his computer and gear, with a television on the wall above it all. Finding the small pile of stuffed animals on the floor, you picked up one of Mang and brought it with you to the small, leather couch.
Smoothing your hand over the toy, you wondered if this was a smart idea. You were far too attracted to Hoseok right now and, if the way he stared at you in the studio was any indicator, he was also very into you. You adored him, loved the way he picked up on your emotions and gently tried to care for you. The way he looked at you, as if you were something precious and wanted, never failed to make your heart race. Regardless, you couldn't help but worry about what would happen once he walked into his studio. Things had been too charged in the practice room, and you weren't sure whether the shower would've cooled him off. You knew time hadn't cooled you off.
You didn't get to think much longer though. The door opened, and Hoseok walked in, shooting you a smile. As you greeted him softly, he fiddled with the door, and you heard it lock. He didn't move closer though, just leaned against the wall and stared at you on his couch. You stared back, taking in the way his artfully ripped jeans clung to his legs and the shirt that fit him just right. Neither of you spoke for another minute. You wished you could tell what he was thinking, as you were fighting the urge to run to him and kiss him until you were breathless.
"I locked the door for privacy," he started, "but you can leave anytime you want to "
"Why would I want to leave, Hoseok?"
"Because, in the studio…you looked – I wanted," he sighed, and ran his hands through his hair. He looked frustrated. "I wanted to kiss you so badly."
You rose from the couch and went over to him, smoothing your hands over his still damp hair. You let one rest on the back of his neck, fingers stroking the hairs at his nape, and used your other to cup his cheek. Hoseok closed his eyes, nuzzling his cheek closer to your touch and breathing deeply. You still thought this was dangerous – being locked in a room with him when you already felt so pulled into his orbit – but you decided to let yourself be pulled.
"I wanted to do a lot more than kiss you back there," you said softly.
"Wanted?" He asked, looking at you with a quirked eyebrow.
"Want," you clarified.
Hoseok took your cue, leaning in as you did til your lips met. The softness of his lips was a stark contrast to the ferocity with which he kissed you. Though your lips were already locked together, you pulled his face closer to yours, wanting to be as close as humanly possible. Your soulmate seemed to understand your desire, looping his arms around your waist. He moved, gently pushing you back until your legs hit the couch. You took the hint, pulling Hoseok down onto the couch with you. Hoseok started pressing kisses down your neck, from your jawline down to the collar of your shirt. Your hands wandered down his back until you found the bottom of his shirt, then inched them under the hem until you brushed the skin of his torso. Hoseok pulled away from you with a gasp.
"Is this okay?" You asked.
"Yes, absolutely," he said, but leaned back further.
In one swift movement, Hoseok pulled his shirt over his head and threw it across the room. You had seen him shirtless before, but having him sitting before you, able and willing to be touched, was thrilling. Before you could kiss him again, he ran his fingers along the hem of your shirt.
"Can I take this off?" He asked.
Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you were nervous. You knew your body was a far cry from South Korean beauty standards, even from Western standards. But, as you looked into Hoseok's eyes, glittering with devotion, you realized the nervous thoughts were quieter than normal. You nodded. Your soulmate grinned brightly as he gripped your shirt and gently slid it off you. You fought the immediate instinct to cover yourself, trying to enjoy the way Hoseok looked at you as his hands gently traced your body. Taking the moment in, you ran your fingers over his bare collarbone and down his chest. As your hands moved down, carefully tracing the contours of his abdominals, his hands moved up, brushing over your ribs to cup your breasts. You could feel how warm his hands were through the material of your bra, and you wanted more. Before you lost the bravery, you reached behind your back and unhooked your bra, letting it fall to the floor.
Hoseok stared at you as though he had a million things he wanted to say, limitless emotion behind his hooded gaze. He didn't speak though, deciding to express what he felt by kissing you deeply. He wrapped an arm around your waist and gently lowered you down til you were laying completely on the couch. You shifted your legs around him and pulled him back down towards you. As your chests met, Hoseok gasped at the sensation of your skin against his. You took the chance to softly kiss down his throat, carefully tracing his body with the pads of your fingers. He was going to be onstage in just a few days, and you wanted to ensure that there wasn't a single blemish on his skin. Hoseok rolled his hips slightly, pressing his bulge against you and trying to gauge your response. Your hands flew to his hips, simultaneously wanting him to repeat the action and slow down. Hoseok did the former. You pulled away from him a little and ran your fingers along his jaw, trying to get his attention.
"Condom," you whispered when he finally looked at you. "We need a condom if we're going any further."
Standing up quickly, Hoseok went to his desk and riffled through a bottom drawer. He pulled out a box of condoms. You were neither stupid nor naive enough to believe Hoseok was a virgin, but seeing that he had condoms in his studio created a flare of jealous insecurities. Had he brought other girls back here to have sex on this same couch? Were they idols and dancers, fitter and prettier than you could ever hope to be?
"You keep condoms in your studio?" You asked as he walked back to you, trying to keep your nerves at bay.
"Not normally, no." Hoseok knelt back on the couch, his eyes concerned as he picked up on your uncertainty. He kissed you deeply, letting your tongue swipe into his mouth as you craved validation. He gave it to you, his hands squeezing your thick thighs before pulling away. "Right before you came in December, we all got pulled into a meeting. Seijin said he didn't care about whatever was really going on, but that he didn't want any surprises and gave us each a box. I put it in my drawer and just kinda forgot about it."
That's when you noticed that the box was still in its cellophane wrap, completely unopened. You blushed, embarrassed by your previous self-doubts. You pulled your soulmate down for another kiss, letting the box fall onto the floor nearby. Your hands ran along his narrow waist, carefully unbuttoning his jeans. As you let your fingers dip under the waistband of his underwear, Hoseok sighed at the sensation. Your soulmate rolled his hips against yours again and you let yourself relax into the feeling of him.
A/N: Words cannot express how excited I am for the next chapter.
Also, if you asked previously to get on the taglist and I haven't been tagging you, please don't be afraid to comment again or send me a message!
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
Chapter 25: Every Frivolous Whim, Proper or Im
May is filled with little surprises.
After Jungkook left, the days and weeks passed, unremarkable save for the fact that they brought you a bit closer to seeing your soulmates again. You fell into a bit of a daze, walking through your life not fully present. You went to the cafe each morning, tutored in the afternoons, visited Ally more often. But mostly you felt incomplete. The larger part of your heart was far away in Seoul, and you were just trying to get through until you could be together.
The first week of May, shortly after you got back from tutoring, someone knocked on your door. You opened it to find a delivery man standing in your doorway, a small box under his arm, reading your name from his clipboard.
"Does she live here?" He asked.
"That's me."
"The sender requested I check an id, sorry," he said, shrugging a little.
He waited outside patiently as you grabbed your wallet from the table and handed him your driver's license. After you signed for the package, you wished him a good day, before closing your door. Inspecting the package, you recognized Seijin's name and Hybe's address on the box.
You were confused. You'd just sent a letter back to Namjoon a few days ago, and there was no way that he would have received it yet, let alone got another letter to you. Once you opened the box and pulled out the mass of bubble wrap and stuffing, you found a card with your name on it. That's when you realized: Namjoon didn't send this. You'd become so familiar with his handwriting that you could recognize it instantly. This was not his angular style, the letters smaller and more rounded. Even more curious now, you ripped open the envelope.
Jagiya –
The gift below is for you. But you have to wait to til May 30th to open it, okay? I wish I could be with you when you do, and properly put it on you. Honestly, I wish I could just be with you at all right now. I know things have been hectic, but please call me before you open it? I want to see your reaction.
I know that accepting gifts from us is difficult for you, but I hope this one brings a smile to your face whenever you see it. It does for me.
I miss you more than words can say.
All my affection,
Jin
You picked up the small, gift wrapped box that was still resting inside the package. While Jin didn't say it explicitly, you knew that the couple's ring he'd bought was in the tiny box. Though you remembered him saying that it was supposed to be a mark of your first 100 days as a couple, you wanted to open it now. A part of you that had never existed before wanted to rip open the wrapping paper and put the ring on now. To have some symbol of your relationship with you always, despite him being so far away. Despite it still being secret.
But you resisted, knowing how much this meant to Jin, quickly marking the date in your calendar and slipping the box into a drawer. You wanted to call your soulmate though, speak to him. Luckily, he picked up on the second ring.
"Hey," he said, sounding a little out of breath. "I wasn't expecting a call."
"Are you okay to talk for a few minutes?" You asked.
"Yeah, yeah. I just got back from working out with Namjoon." You heard Namjoon call out a greeting in the background and Jin passed on your hello to him. Then his voice got serious. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes," you assured him. "I just wanted to talk for a few minutes. Your package arrived."
"Oh." Jin went quiet for a few moments, but you could hear the background noise of the kitchen fade away until a door closed. "Does it look damaged?"
"No, it arrived safely. Well, the box did. I'm following your instructions and waiting to open it."
"Good," he laughed.
"I can't wait to wear it though. I'll have to wake up extra early on the thirtieth to call you and open it. Then I can start wearing it."
"I can't wait either," Jin said softly. "Once it's on, I'll never take it off."
Jin's statement raised a question though, something you hadn't thought about before.
"How will you explain it, Jin? If you start wearing a ring, won't people question it?"
It wasn't the thought of being linked to him that made you nervous. You were proud to be their soulmate, proud to be attached to Kim Seokjin. But Hybe still hadn't discussed making their star group's soulmate public. And, honestly, you were still afraid of what would happen once the world found out about you. You didn't want to do anything rash that would either expose the truth or anger their company.
"Don't worry," he said, "I've thought that through. I bought a chain to put the ring on, so I can hide it under my shirt." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to hide it, though. I wish everyone could know we're together, jagiya ."
"What does that mean? You used that term in your letter too. Ja-gi-ya?"
" Jagiya ," Jin repeated, trying to correct your pronunciation. "It's, uh, it's," he stumbled and you knew, over six thousand miles away, he was blushing. "It's a term of endearment. It means, like, baby or honey."
"Oh," was your only response. The term made your heart flutter.
"I don't have to use it if –"
"I like it," you said quickly. "I love it "
You got your acceptance to grad school late one morning while at the cafe. While it wasn't a surprise – between your grades from college, your years of independent tutoring, and the glowing recommendations from a few clients' parents and professors – the emailed acceptance was still a weight off your chest. Getting into this online grad school was the first step to the plan you'd devised: get into grad school, move your tutoring completely online, quit the cafe, move to Seoul. You weren't sure, realistically, how long this plan would take, but you were excited to officially get started.
Sending a text to the group chat, you updated them about your acceptance. Between Festa and the comeback, they'd been busier than ever. It was more difficult to coordinate calls and video chats recently, most of your communication recently happening through texts. It wasn't ideal, but you knew this was part of being their soulmate. As Jin said on the beach, their schedule would still be hectic, but you wanted to work through it. And, if things went as you hoped they would, you wouldn't have to be separated for long.
Later that day, as you were cooking dinner, the notification on your laptop started going off. Rushing to it, you were surprised to see Yoongi starting the video chat. You weren't expecting a call, especially so early in the morning for them. The true surprise came when you answered and realized all seven were on the call. Your heart constricted as you greeted each other.
"Congratulations, Noona!" Jungkook shouted, leaving over some of the others to get as close to the camera as he could.
"We're so proud of you," Jin added, pulling Jungkook back by his shirt.
"It's not a big deal," you said softly. Even over the call, you still felt shy when all of their attention was on you.
"Don't downplay your achievements," Namjoon said. He was smiling at you, glasses still on and his hair messy.
"This is what you wanted," Yoongi reminded you.
"Be proud of it," Tae chimed in.
"I am," you said. "But this is just the first step."
"What do you mean?" Jimin asked.
"I mean – It's just that I," you stumbled. Your plan was perfect in your mind, but you were nervous to tell them.
"What's the matter?" Hoseok asked, his voice gentle. You glanced back at the screen to find his eyebrows furrowed.
Chewing on your lip, you hesitated. You still had stuff to do before you could really move, but the desire to be with them had become almost overwhelming since Jungkook left. If your to-do list was done out of order, or wasn't even complete by the time you moved to them, would it really matter? Would they be bothered if your first month or two with them was spent still reorganizing your tutoring business? If, in those first few months, you made less money than you wanted? Realistically, you didn't think they would care, but the desire to be useful nagged at you.
Namjoon called your name softly.
"Trust us?" He asked. "Please."
"I want to move to Seoul!" You blurted out. No one spoke, so you rushed to continue. "I know we just got this apartment and spent all the time and money to furnish it and get it set up. But I want to be with you guys." Still, no one spoke. Looking at their shocked faces, your heart started to sink. You thought they wanted this – Jimin and Yoongi had both said they wanted this – but what if they had changed their minds. Unsure of what else to say, you whispered an apology. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you all. Please don't be mad at me."
"We're not mad," Jimin said, finally collecting himself. "We're happy. We're all really happy."
"I think," Tae started, but paused to rub his hands over his eyes. Was he crying? "I think we're just surprised."
"The apartment doesn't matter," Jin said. "We can figure that all out." His voice got softer, less confident. "You really want to be here?"
"I do," you told them.
"Then we'll figure it out," Namjoon spoke up. "The visas, the move, all of it. We'll all talk with Seijin when you come in June and plan it out. It may take a few months to organize though." He paused, and when he spoke again his voice wavered a little. "Can you wait that long?"
"I can." You tried to sound confident, but you weren't sure if it worked. "I just wanted to tell you all. Will you guys be able to wait?"
They all nodded their heads, finally with smiles on their faces.
"Thank you," Yoongi said. He wasn't looking towards you, though, his gaze focused on a spot off screen you couldn't see.
Anxious thoughts still gnawed at you though. You started to scratch at the skin on your hand, unable to calm your worries despite their reassurances.
"What's bothering you, Noona?" Jungkook asked.
"Nothing that we haven't talked about a dozen times," you sighed. "I know things will get easier once we're together again. I just…I just need to wait for that."
"Are you sure you'll be okay til then?" Hoseok asked. "Do you need us? We could –"
"No!" You rushed to cut off his train of thought. "I mean, yes of course I need you all. But I can wait. You're all too busy to leave. I don't want you guys to be more stressed."
"Is there anything that we can do?" Jimin's question was soft, almost as if he was in pain. Hoseok leaned over and hugged Jimin tightly, and Taehyung followed.
"Actually there's," Namjoon started then stopped. He ran his fingers through his hair, contemplating his next sentence. "I've been reading – and a lot of this stuff is anecdotal – because I've had shit luck trying to find actual, peer-reviewed sources on it, because people seem more interested in the first contact itself than anything else –"
"Namjoon, focus," Jin warned.
"Sorry, hyung." He glanced bashfully away from the camera before continuing. "There's anecdotal stories about soulmates who had to be separated for a long time – most of it from soulmates involved in the military but –"
"Namjoon!" Yoongi shouted. "Spit it out!"
"Mementos! They mention having and wearing mementos from their soulmate helps it! Most talk about clothes, wearing their soulmate's clothing when they're struggling, and it seems to help them. It could be just a placebo, but there's enough stories that it's worth a shot."
"You have our stuff right there," Tae said, boxy smile spreading across his face.
Before you were able to answer, one of your soulmates' cell phones rang.
"Crap," Hoseok whispered, silencing his alarm, "we gotta go." A few of the others grumbled softly. Hoseok looked back at the camera. "We have to leave for work. Will you be okay?"
"I will, I'm good," you said, wanting to reassure them. "Go to work and have a good day. I miss you all."
It turns out that, in the Hongdae section of Seoul, there was an international school, with all their curriculum in English. While you were still taking Korean lessons twice a week, you knew it would take months to become comfortable enough to venture into Seoul on your own, let alone teach in Korean. So finding this school was a stroke of luck. While the website didn't have an excessive amount of information – statistics on class size, teams and clubs available, an example course load – you were able to find a contact email address. Though it seemed to be aimed at families and students interested in attending, it was the only contact you had. So you carefully drafted an email, explaining your past schooling and upcoming courses. You wrote out what you could explain about your situation, that your soulmate lived and worked in Seoul, and that you were hoping to join him as soon as possible. You reread the email, unsure of the tone you were going for. Though it wasn’t a resume or cover letter, you wanted to seem professional, but you also didn’t want to seem too aggressive. You weren’t in the position to be applying to jobs yet. You wanted to be amicable enough to entice whoever read it to either write back to you, or send the email to someone more appropriate.
Luckily, a few days after your initial email, you got a response. The writer, who introduced herself as Cathy Han, the head of faculty at the school, apologized for the delay in responding as your email got passed through several departments before finally making its way to her. She seemed friendly enough through her writing, congratulating you on your recent graduate school acceptance and explaining that most of the teachers and staff in the school came from international backgrounds, including herself. She explained that, while she couldn’t make any promises or guarantees, she was more than willing to give more information about the school from a teacher’s standpoint. And, she offered to meet in person and give you a tour during your next time in Seoul. Overjoyed that this was turning out better than you expected, you quickly wrote back, explaining that you’d be in Seoul in June. As Jungkook had said during his trip, the seven of them would still be working during your visit, so you were sure that, as time got closer, you’d be able to steal away an hour or two to meet with her.
As you had done several times since that group call, you carefully picked through the clothes your seven soulmates had left. It was starting to get too warm at night, and you needed to swap the sweatshirt you'd stolen from Jin for something lighter to sleep in. It wasn't a perfect solution, but between the playlist of their music and wearing a piece of their clothing, you were sleeping significantly better.
Though it seemed that they didn't leave any of the designer items you knew they owned and wore, you still wanted to be careful not to stretch out or ruin what they did leave. Your soulmates' body types varied greatly, and your short, heavy frame was not an easy fit. Jin, Namjoon, and Jungkook's clothing tended to be your best options. Each was broad enough and preferred looser fits, so their shirts were easier to fit over your large chest and rounded stomach. Despite being one of the leaner men, Yoongi liked his casual clothes to be as comfortable as possible, which provided several oversized t-shirts for you to choose from. You grabbed one of these, pulling the soft black shirt over your head. Hoseok's clothing was hit or miss, some items oversized enough for you to try, some too form fitting. He did leave a spare hat, though, which you'd occasionally worn out and about. You didn't even bother trying to find something in Taehyung or Jimin's clothes – both liking their clothes too tailored to fit you. But you grabbed a plain shirt from Taehyung's drawer, missing him in particular right now. It wouldn't fit over you, but you'd at least be able to hold it while you slept.
Finally ready to sleep, you climbed into your bed and put on your playlist. Namjoon's solution had worked magic for you, and you were quickly drifting off to sleep. Then your phone rang. Despite the late hour, you answered it. It was either Ally or Jay, meaning there was an emergency, or it was one of your soulmates, meaning one had a few spare minutes to talk. Luckily, it was the latter, Taehyung greeting you excitedly.
"Tae, I've missed you," you said quickly.
"I've missed you too," he said. "I'm sorry I've been so busy recently."
"I understand, it's okay. But where are you right now?" You asked. Wherever he was, it was loud. You could hear music playing in the background, and lots of people speaking around him. "Are you at work?"
"No, I'm out shopping. My sister's birthday is coming up, so I'm buying her a gift. But I saw something and I want your opinion on something." Taehyung paused and you felt your phone buzz again with a text notification. It was of a store mannequin, with a brightly patterned shirt and a cute gray skirt. "What do you think of the skirt?"
You hesitated, zooming in on it. It looked like it was a nice material and relatively plain, hitting the mannequin roughly at its knees.
"It's cute," you told him. You honestly weren't sure why Taehyung called about this – you didn't know his sister or her taste in clothes, and, regardless, your soulmate was significantly more fashionable than you. "Does it have pockets though?"
"Pockets?"
"Yeah. Any kind of bottom with good pockets on it will be an automatic hit," you said, laughing a little. "Girls love pockets on their clothes."
"Oh," he mumbled. You could hear fabric rustling in the background. "It does! So, do you like it?"
"I do, Tae, but will your sister? You should buy her something she'll like."
"But it's for you."
You paused, confused. Maybe you were more tired than you thought, but you swore he'd said he was shopping for his sister.
"You said you went out to buy your sister gifts?"
"And I did. I've found five things for her already. Then I saw this store and I wanted to find something for you."
"I don't need anything, though."
"I know, I just wanted to get you a gift." His voice sank a little bit, and you knew he was pouting in the store.
Then you remembered how badly he'd wanted to buy you something to wear for his birthday dinner. Hoseok had assured you that it wasn't an insult to you or your style, but Tae's way of showing affection. And, though the thought of accepting more, probably expensive, gifts from them still made you uncomfortable, you didn't want to throw Taehyung's affection back in his face.
"I like the skirt, Taehyung," you said. "I could even wear it in June when I visit."
"You would?" He asked, voice bright with excitement.
"I would."
At this point, you'd do almost anything for him. For them.
“Over the last twenty-five years of friendship, I think I can count on one hand how many times you’ve asked me to go clothes shopping with you.” Ally glanced at you cautiously as you got into her car. “Normally I’m dragging you to the store.”
It was true. You preferred comfort and utility in your clothing over style. And, after years of hearing your father’s taunts and cruel words, you were disinclined to spend hours trying on potentially unflattering outfits in front of full length mirrors and definitely unflattering lighting. But now, you wanted to try harder. Your seven soulmates were all incredibly fashionable and, while you knew you would never be wearing designer clothes, you at least wanted some clothes nicer than leggings and plain t-shirts to wear around them, especially in trendy Seoul.
“I know,” you shrugged. “But I want to have nicer outfits to wear around them. I want to look like I belong next to them.”
“Have they said something about it?” Ally asked, her voice taking on a harder edge. Though she kept her eyes on the road, you could tell she was glaring a little.
“No! God no. They’ve never said anything like that,” you insisted. And, remembering the conversation you’d had with Hoseok before Tae’s dinner, you continued. “If anything, they’ve said the opposite. But this is more for me. They have a concert in June while I’m there. Even if no one knows who I am, I want to look cute.”
“Oh my God,” Ally squealed as she pulled into a parking space. She turned to face you, a wide smile on her face. “You want to impress them!” Unable to deny her allegation, but not wanting to fuel her teasing, you got out of the car and waited for Ally to put Emmy in her stroller. “Wait, is this why you bought that new dress? For them?”
“It was for a date with Jungkook,” you mumbled, both from embarrassment and desire to stay quiet. “We went out to dinner when he came in April.”
Ally remained quiet, simply grinning as she walked with the stroller away from the car and towards the shopping center. You could practically see the gears in her mind turning.
“I think I’m already regretting this,” you joked as you walked by her side.
“Nonsense. Today is going to be great.”
And, despite her teasing you thoroughly, it was. While Ally wasn’t decked in the latest fashion trends or haute couture, she had a good sense of style and was talented at coordinating outfits. You let her lead the way, following her with a shopping cart as she walked Emmy up and down the aisles, occasionally grabbing at a hanger and inspecting it. You talked as you went, her updating you on the latest gossip from her and Jay’s families.
“Do you still have those gray leggings?” She asked, stopping her story while she inspected a shirt.
“No, they ripped a few months back and I had to toss them. Why?”
“That’s too bad. They looked great on you.”
Once Ally decided you were pushing around enough potential items, she forced you to try them on for her. Between your thoughts and her opinions as your personal confidence booster, you were able to choose a few items you felt confident in. Then, Ally dragged you to the next store on her game plan.
“What’s the weather going to be like when you next visit?” She asked as she thumbed through a rack of clothes.
“About the same as it’ll be here. But the monsoon season will just be starting, so I have to be prepared for a lot of rain.”
Ally didn’t respond, just going back to looking for clothes. You were starting to feel burned out by all the shopping and tried to convince Ally that you’d bought enough and could leave. Your best friend wasn’t accepting that, though, focused on finding something that you weren’t sure even she knew what. So you turned your attention to Emmy, making silly faces at the infant who was cooing happily.
“C’mon, you need to try these on,” Ally said, shoving another batch of clothes into your arms. She noticed the tired look on your face. “This is the last batch, then we’ll leave. I promise.”
Sighing, you walked together towards the dressing room. You noticed that there were two final hangars she’d placed over the handle of her stroller.
“Did you find something you liked?” You asked her, motioning towards the garments.
“Nope,” she smiled. “They’re still for you. They need to be tried on together, though, so I kept them separate.”
You eyed her suspiciously as you took them from her hands. Not paying too much attention to the set, you kept talking with her through the changing stall door. You were hungry and tired of trying on clothes, so you didn't even look in the mirror before going out to show her, as she demanded of everything you'd tried on today.
"You need to wear that for the concert," Ally said as soon as she saw you. "It's perfect."
“I thought we agreed that I was wearing the pink tank –”
“Change of plans,” she cut you off. “Wear the pink tank another day there, but this needs to be the concert outfit. I mean, did you even look at it before coming out?”
You shook your head and Ally sighed, pointing down towards the three-way mirror at the end of the dressing area. But, despite all your discomfort at trying on these outfits for the past few hours, this one felt great. The top was a bold purple with small white flowers across it. The sleeves hung down your arms, leaving your shoulders bare and its neckline teased enough of your ample cleavage to be flirtatious, but not salacious. You knew, somewhere in your apartment, your single strapless bra was sitting, simply collecting dust since you used it at Ally’s bachelorette party. You’d have to pack it for Seoul. The fabric of the top was flowy enough not to cling to your stomach, but didn’t overwhelm you to make you seem rounder than you already were. And, as you slowly twisted and turned, you saw that Ally had somehow picked a miracle pair of jeans. The light denim clung to the curves of your rear and legs, smoothing them out and making your bottom look better than you thought it could.
“As best friend and official hypewoman, I’m begging you to see what I’m seeing right now.”
“I see it,” you said softly, slightly amazed at how pretty you felt.
“They’re going to be eating out of your hands when they see you in this,” she said. Then, with a smirk, she bumped your shoulder and teased. “Maybe you’ll finally get the confidence to kiss them in this.”
You couldn’t help the blush that came to your face. You hadn’t mentioned to Ally the increase of physical affection during the last few visits with your soulmates. And, Ally had been so frustrated after learning that Jin had visited and she wasn’t allowed to meet him, that you hadn’t mentioned your kiss with him all those months back. Not sure if the dressing room in an off-price department store was the place to share this gossip, you tried to escape past her and go back to your stall. She followed though, hissing your full name in reproach.
“What aren’t you telling me?” She asked.
“I’ve already kissed most of them,” you whispered. There were a few teenage girls walking into the area and you didn’t want them to hear anything about your odd soulmate situation.
“Which ones?” Ally hissed.
“Everyone but…but Kevin .” Ally’s face contorted in a comical way, frustrated that she’d been kept in the dark. “I’ll catch you up in the car,” you explained. “But please let me change so we can go get lunch?”
“You’re going to tell me everything,” your best friend said, finally letting you back into the stall. "Every. Single. Detail."
Though you only woke up fifteen minutes earlier than usual, it felt much sooner. After waiting all month, it was finally May 30th, and you wanted to open Jin's ring. He was expecting your call this morning, and had blocked off time on his schedule for it. You went through your morning routine though, trying to get everything done before you started the video call. When you were finished, you grabbed your mug of coffee and the wrapped box, and called him..
"Hey Jin," you said, smiling at him.
"Good morning, jagiya ," he greeted you. You blushed a little at the nickname. "How did you sleep?"
"Pretty well. Namjoon's trick is helping. How are you sleeping?"
Jin made a noncommittal noise, shrugging his shoulders. "It's been so busy, our sleep schedule is bad anyway."
Looking at his tired eyes, it hit you that, while Namjoon's suggestion worked well for you as they'd left stuff here, your seven soulmates had nothing of yours in their apartment.
"When I come, I'll bring stuff to leave. Maybe that'll help."
"I think we'd all like that," Jin said. "Can we make sure to spend a night together when you come?"
"Yes, absolutely."
You both paused, just staring at each other in the camera. He was thousands of miles away, and all you wanted to do was hold him in your arms and feel his soft lips against yours.
"Are you going to open it?" Jin asked.
You nodded, pulling the box closer. As you carefully tore the wrapping paper away, your breath started to quicken. Though you had the box all month, you now grasped the reality of the moment for you two. The small, black fabric box held a symbol of Jin and your relationship. While you were already bound to him – not just by your first contact, but by the affection that had grown over the last months – the ring would symbolize your commitment.
You opened the lid. Between two velvet pads, sat a delicate ring. The band – white gold or sterling silver, you really didn't know – crossed over itself on each side of the amethyst that was set in its center. Silently, you slipped the band on your right ring finger. Jin held his ring up to the camera, the same metal making up the solid band, with a small amethyst inlay at the center.
"Amethyst for our anniversary," Jin said softly.
You nodded, silently glancing from your ring, to Jin, and back. Tears pricked your eyes. Your heart felt so full, so loved, and you weren't sure how to cope. You quickly wiped your eyes.
"Oh, please don't cry," Jin begged. "What's wrong? Do you not like it? I can get something different?"
"No, no," you insisted, wiping away another tear. "It's perfect, Jin. I love it "
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: Is it obvious that feeding people is one of my love languages...
Chapter 24: What Do You See When You Look At Me?
You have one day to make Jungkook's dreams come true.
The evening your soulmates left for Korea, you started crossing off days on the calendar. Weeks away in April, you circled the day Jungkook would arrive and you happily crossed off each day in advance before you went to bed. Jungkook had coordinated with Seijin to get an extra day at the end of his LA trip to visit you. Seijin worked the magic he normally did to make this happen. And, when you sent your next letter to Namjoon, you sent it packaged with several large packs of Sour Patch Kids, a candy you learned Seijin was fond of from touring, but unable to get easily in Korea. It was part thank you gift, part apology for making his life more difficult in the recent months.
Jungkook was set to arrive the next morning after a red-eye flight from LA. You spent the evening tidying up the apartment and making sure that everything was ready for him – fresh sheets on the two guest beds, plenty of snacks, enough towels in the spare bathroom. Though he was only staying for 24 hours, you wanted to visit to be as comfortable and relaxing as possible for your youngest soulmate. You knew he'd be returning to Seoul for weeks of grueling work. And, as you got ready for bed, you looked at the last detail for the weekend: your new dress. It wasn't particularly fancy, knee-length and sleeveless, with pretty floral lace on the bodice, that you found on sale a few weeks ago. But it filled in the gap in your small dress wardrobe between your two casual dresses and your singular gown. You'd gone looking for a new dress when you learned Jungkook was confirmed to visit and you'd started to plan for what you'd do together. It'd taken some coordination and some long-distance scheming, but you hoped your youngest soulmate would enjoy the surprise. And, thanks to Jin and Yoongi, you knew Jungkook was still clueless.
"Hey, are you alone right now?" You asked one morning when on the phone with Jin.
"Yoongi's here," he said, "but everyone else is out. Why?"
"That's okay. Can he come listen?" You waited for a moment as Jin put his phone on speaker.
"Is everything okay?" Yoongi asked. You could practically see his eyebrows furrowed in worry.
"Everything is good," you explained. "But I need your help with a surprise for Jungkook. Do you remember the outfit he wore for Tae's birthday?"
"Yeah?" Jin answered.
"I need you guys to convince him to bring that on his trip here. But don't let him know it's because I asked. And please don't tell Namjoon? This is a secret."
You heard Jin laugh a little.
"Why can't you just tell him to bring it?" Yoongi asked. "He'd pack it in a heartbeat if you told him. It might be a little harder for us to convince him. If you don't tell him about the surprise, you could just ask him to bring the clothes."
"If I asked him to bring it, he'd get too suspicious. As soon as I ask, he'll know what the surprise is."
"Okay, we'll do it," Jin said. "But can we know what the surprise is?"
"I'm taking him on a date," you said softly. Honestly, the idea made you blush a little. "He brought it up earlier, so I planned a nice date, just the two of us."
"We'll get him to pack the stuff," Jin said. "Don't worry."
And so, on the day Jungkook was scheduled to leave for Los Angeles, you got a confirmation text from both Jin and Yoongi confirming that the maknae brought the clothes. A reservation for the cute, Italian bistro was confirmed for tomorrow evening. All you needed now was Jungkook.
When you woke up the next morning, bright and early, you headed to Ally and Jay's. They were letting you borrow their car for the day, an attempt to both minimize Jungkook's time around people who could potentially recognize the very identifiable pop star and maximize your time together. As you parked and headed toward the baggage claim, your heart started to race a little. Though your relationship with Jungkook was relatively easy, the thought of being alone with him for the entire day made you nervous. He could oscillate between flirtatious and shy at breakneck speeds, and you were curious about which side would come out more when it was just the two of you. Standing with everyone else who was waiting to greet their arrivals, you looked around for Jungkook. His plane had landed a little while ago, and he was due to walk through the area soon. You heard him before you saw him.
"Noona!"
You looked around, trying to find him in the crowd. You saw a man in dark sweatpants and a bulky sweatshirt push through the crowds. You took off towards him, eyes focused on him. When you got to each other, you immediately embraced. You wrapped your arms around him and Jungkook took the chance to sweep you off your feet. He spun you around as you giggled, then set you back down. Bending over, he touched his forehead to yours.
"I've missed you so much," he whispered.
"I've missed you too," you said, fingers playing with the hair at the base of his neck. "But let's get to the car. We'll go home and relax."
As you drove home, Jungkook talked about his time in LA. How cool the band members were that he worked with, including the drummer who let Jungkook show off his new skills and then gave some pointers. How he watched surfers on the beach each morning from his hotel room. He wanted to learn now, but hadn't had time during his stay for a lesson. But what Jungkook talked about most was the food. From taco trucks to a fine steakhouse the band had invited him to, Jungkook detailed his meals and snacks until your stomach started rumbling.
"You're making me hungry, Kook," you laughed as you let him into the apartment.
"Then can we eat breakfast?" He asked, taking off his mask and shoes.
"We can eat," you laughed, never failing to be amused by your soulmate's endless stomach. "Go put your stuff away and I'll start something."
You watched him go down the hallway, smiling at his presence. Though you weren't as hungry as you joked, you cut up some fruit for yourself and Jungkook to share and got out bread and eggs. Jungkook came back a few minutes later, just as you were finishing the few slices of egg-in-a-nest you made for him.
"Where's your plate?" He asked, standing close behind you and watching.
"I ate something before I came to pick you up. I've got some fruit though." You handed him the plate, smiling.
"I'm sorry," Jungkook said, smile falling from his face. "I didn't mean to make you cook just for me. I could've made myself something."
"It's okay!" You said. You reached out to take his free hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "I know you would've cooked something for yourself. But I wanted to."
"But you don't have to." Jungkook shifted a little, glancing from your joined hands to your face. "You're not my mom, you're not my maid. I can make my own food."
"I'm sorry, Jungkook. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"I'm not – It's just," Jungkook tried to talk, but let out a frustrated groan. Wanting to give him time to collect his thoughts, you led him to the kitchen table and sat down. Once the plates were on the table, you took his hands in yours, thumbs tracing his tattoos in an attempt to soothe the younger man. Finally, he sighed and spoke. "It's not that I'm uncomfortable. I just don't want you to feel like you owe us anything."
"I understand," you said. "But relationships are about give and take. Remember how Yoongi talked about accepting help?" He nodded. "Well, if I accept your help, then don't you have to accept my help?" Jungkook nodded again and looked up at you. "I didn't make food because I had to, Jungkook. I made it because you were hungry and I wanted to take care of my soulmate."
At your last words, Jungkook's face became indecipherable. But he pulled you gently into his arms and held you closely. You wished you knew what was going on in his mind as he took deep, steadying breaths. Unsure of how to help, you stayed quiet, just running your hands up and down his back. After a few moments, Jungkook placed a kiss on your cheek and pulled away.
"Thank you, Noona," he said.
You smiled at him and Jungkook turned to start eating. Your hands stayed laced together though, each of you making due with eating with only one hand.
"Can I cook dinner, then?" Jungkook asked after a few bites. "I'm not as good as Jin or Yoongi, but I'm still a decent cook."
"How about lunch?" You countered. Jungkook gave you a confused look and you figured it was time to explain your plan. "I made a dinner reservation for us. A little Italian place with really good reviews. It's kinda fancy, and I think you'll like it."
"Is that why they were so insistent on me bringing a suit?" Jungkook asked, his eyes wide.
"Yeah. I asked for their help in making sure you brought something nice to wear. I've got a dress too. We'll both be dressed up."
His eyes sparkled, now recognizing what you were saying, how you'd taken his wish and turned it into a reality. Jungkook reached up with his free hand and cupped your cheek. His eyes were focused on you and he inched closer. Your breath hitched and you wondered if he was going to kiss you like this, here in your kitchen, both of you in sweats. Jungkook didn't though, at least not as you expected. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, though, before pulling away and smiling his adorable grin.
"I love that plan," he said, kissing your cheek a final time before turning, with red cheeks, to his food
"I just don't think I'm good at video games," you laughed.
Wanting to just hang around the apartment together until it was time for dinner, Jungkook had taken out his Switch in an attempt to get you hooked on Overwatch, his favorite game that involved shooting and a dozen other components that moved too fast for you. Over the last hour, your soulmate attempted to teach you the controls of the game, but you still spent the majority of your gameplay jumping when you meant to shoot or being unable to navigate the map. You didn't mind though, enjoying being squeezed on the love seat with Jungkook, him pressed close to your side and looking over your shoulder at the screen. He wasn't bold enough to try Jimin's move from your last time playing video games, but that was okay. Like Taehyung had said to you, Jungkook wasn't Jimin.
"I thought you were bad at Mario Kart," Jungkook laughed as your character died and respawned again, "but this is almost sad."
"I'm trying my best!" You said, playfully pushing at his shoulder. "I think the first time I played a video game was after Ally and Jay met in high school. I didn't do this stuff as a kid."
Though you meant it as a joke, Jungkook's face fell. Even months later, he still got distinctly upset when you brought up your childhood, even in passing. You put the game down and twisted around to face Jungkook. Reaching out, you grabbed one of his hands, linking your fingers, and you cupped his face with your other. All the humor and laughter had drained from him, his eyes avoiding yours.
"What's the matter, Jungkook?" You asked gently, trying to get him to look at you. He didn't say anything. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad. I didn't think bringing that up would upset you."
"How could it not?" He asked, finally looking at you. You shrugged, honestly not knowing. "I wish I could go back and change it all. If we met sooner, we could've been there for you. We would have protected you."
"We can't change the past," you told him. "And thinking like that – the could've, would've, should've scenarios – it'll just drive us all crazy. My past is what it is, none of us can change that." You leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "I'm okay now. I'm happy."
Finally, Jungkook smiled and squeezed your hand reassuringly. "I'm happy too."
"I don't want to upset you anymore, though. I'll try not to bring that up around you."
"But I don't want that," he insisted. "I want us to be able to talk about anything. I just…I can't not be upset when you talk about that. I think it'll always make me sad."
You nodded, understanding what he meant. Jungkook shifted, wrapping you into his arms and pulling you closer until you were essentially in his lap. You moved a little, not wanting to make him bear too much of your weight. He just tightened his arms though, and you gave in to his hold. Wrapping your arms around him, you rested your head against his shoulder.
"I think that way too, though. What would I change if I could?" you said. "I would've stayed that first day when you guys brought up dinner. Maybe that would've been the time to tell you everything, but I don't know. After the dates might've been better," you sighed. "But that doesn't help us now. So I'm just trying to be a better soulmate."
You felt Jungkook nod. The two of you stayed like that, silent with your arms wrapped around each other, for several minutes. Occasionally, you'd run your fingers across his back, or you'd feel his hand caress your shoulder. But you stayed quiet, simply enjoying being so close to one of your soulmates.
That didn't last though.
"Oh, I gotta go!" Jungkook said suddenly, startling you. He started to pull away and you looked at him, curious.
"What's the matter, Kookie?"
"I need to go to the store. I-I forgot something."
"What did you forget? There's a store a few blocks from here. I can take you there?"
"I know where it is already," he said. "I found it on my phone and have the location."
You didn't say anything, but looked at him suspiciously. He was clearly hiding something, but you hadn't a clue what. Though you knew he frequently traveled internationally and lived in a city many times larger than yours, you couldn't help but feel slightly nervous about him venturing out alone.
"You sure you don't want me to come for the walk?"
"I'm good," he said, smiling his tooth grin. "I promise."
With a quick kiss to your cheek, Jungkook put on his shoes, hat, and facemask and left. You spent the next half hour on your phone, alternating between scrolling aimlessly and watching the time. When the door opened, Jungkook popped his head in, the rest of his body still in the hallway.
"Can you close your eyes?" He called over.
"Why?" You asked, trying to see what he had in the hallway.
"Just trust me. Please?"
You closed your eyes and, for good measure, covered them with your hands. You heard him walk by you and into the kitchen, the sounds of glasses being moved around and water running. It sounded like your fridge opened. You were dying to find out what Jungkook was doing, but you waited as promised. Hopefully, you'd find out by tonight.
"Are you almost ready, Noona?"
"Five more minutes!"
You were actually all ready. Your hair in a delicate braid, light make-up on your face, shoes on. But, as you stared at yourself in the mirror, you felt the nervous pit in your stomach grow. You remembered how Jungkook looked for Tae's birthday, well tailored suit clinging to his body, his hair perfectly styled. When you stood next to him now, would it look like you belonged with him? Or would you still seem like a mismatched, cumbersome addition to his perfection? You couldn't do anything right now about the size of your body or the few crinkles that already lived in the corners of your eyes, but you hoped that the effort you put into your outfit would make you look good enough for your soulmate.
You were pulled from your thoughts though as you heard the front door open and close. Wandering out of your room, you looked for Jungkook. You called out his name a few times, and checked in the two spare rooms and the bathroom. You paused though, when you saw his shoes were gone from the entryway. As you went to grab your phone and call him, somebody knocked on your door. When you opened it, you smiled.
Jungkook stood in your doorway, looking just as handsome as you imagined he would. His hair was less styled, bangs hanging over his forehead. And, in his hands, he gripped a bouquet of pink carnations. Neither of you spoke for a moment, simply taking each other in. Jungkook's eyes were wide, and you swore you could see yourself in their reflection. There were a dozen things you wanted to do as you gazed at him – tell him how handsome he was, kiss him, beg him to take you back to Seoul with him, hug him and never let go. But you settled on the least intimidating option.
"Why are you standing outside, Jungkook?"
This seemed to jolt him out of his reverie. His face flushed and he ran a hand through his hair, bashful.
"It's how things happen in the movies," he explained. "I'm supposed to pick you up at your front door for a date and give you flowers." He offered you the bouquet.
"I think you watch too many movies," you laughed, pulling him back into the apartment. You took the bouquet though, raising up on your toes to kiss his cheek. "Thank you." You walked to the kitchen, wanting to put the flowers in water before you left. "Was this the errand you ran earlier?" Jungkook just nodded, smiling widely as he watched you. "You're the sweetest, Kook."
Luckily, the restaurant wasn't far away, and the two of you were able to walk there leisurely and still make your reservation. It was everything you hoped for – dimly lit, well-spaced tables, the other couples present too involved in their own romance to bother paying attention to anyone passing by. Regardless, you'd requested a corner table to try and hide your soulmate just a little more, and they were able to sit you there. Jungkook hurried to pull out your chair before sitting himself and taking off his facemask.
"What do you think?" You asked him
"This is so nice," he said quietly, looking around. "It's just like what I pictured."
You smiled widely, glad that you could offer this to him. Jungkook and the others deserved to feel special, and you promised yourself that you would do everything in your power to make them feel as cared for and loved as they made you feel.
Dinner passed easily, conversation flowing over food. You talked about the graduate programs you'd applied to and the clumsy but kind new employee you'd been training at the cafe. Jungkook explained more about what Festa involved, and explained their mini-tour schedule for the fall.
"It'll make your visits a little more structured, at least at the start. We'll still need to be at work, so we won't be relaxing at the apartment all together like in December."
"I can come with you guys, though?" You asked. "If I'm not disrupting your work, can I at least hang around the studio with everyone?"
"Yeah, that should be fine," he agreed. "Plus, I think we'll try to arrange breaks so we can hang out or go somewhere with you. That way you're not just held captive at Hybe."
"That sounds nice. But I promise I won't be a distraction while I'm there."
"You already are," Jungkook blurted out.
His eyes went wide when he realized what he said and he looked at you. You just laughed though, probably too loudly for the restaurant's atmosphere.
When the waiter, who luckily seemed to pay Jungkook no mind other than to occasionally glare at the tattoos on his hand, dropped off your desserts, you watched Jungkook happily take a spoonful of his chocolate lava cake.
"What did you get?" He asked, eyeing your plate.
"Tiramisu," you said. Then you got an idea. "Would you like to try some?"
Jungkook nodded, always ready to try more food. As you scooped some up with your spoon, Jungkook pushed his plate closer to you, waiting for you to place the food on his plate. You didn't though, instead holding out your spoon for him to try. Jungkook stared at you, eyes wide. When you fed Taehyung at his birthday dinner, it was spontaneous and light-hearted. Here, sitting alone with Jungkook though, there was no playfulness. You remembered how he spoke back in Seoul, what he wanted, and you were trying to offer him that. You couldn't bear to look at him, unsure of whether he was ready to take that step. So, when you heard him shift, leaning forward to take your proffered bite, you glanced up shyly. Your soulmate was grinning and blushing brightly, as you sure you were too. He then held out a spoonful of his cake to you.
"Do you – Do you want a bite?" He asked.
His hand was shaking, making the spoon tremble as he watched you with careful eyes. You nodded, afraid that speaking would break the spell that had fallen over you both. You leaned forward and Jungkook guided the spoon to your mouth, hand still unsteady. The cake was probably delicious, but you could barely taste it, completely focused on Jungkook as he leaned closer to you. You leaned in too, willing to follow his lead, to let him kiss you here, but were surprised when his thumb swiped at your bottom lip.
“You had a spot,” he whispered, thumb still against your mouth. Then, as if he was shocked, he stood quickly and pushed in his chair. “I’ll be right back.”
You watched him walk away, trying to catch your breath as he left you alone. Though you’d barely touched each other, you felt as though you were on fire under Jungkook’s eyes and hands. You planned to take him on a walk along the river after dinner, but you weren’t sure if you’d survive that. Part of you wanted to run back to your bedroom and lock yourself in there alone, far away from your soulmate’s heady presence. The other part wanted to get as close to Jungkook as you possibly could, and not leave his side until his flight tomorrow.
You watched Jungkook's confident stride as he made his way back towards your table. You weren't the only one paying him attention now, several heads turned away from their dates and towards your soulmate. A pair of waitresses giggled in a corner. Jungkook either didn't see, or didn't care, his stare focused on you.
“Are you ready to go?” Jungkook asked when he got to you.
“I am.” He grabbed your hand, helping you to your feet before putting an arm around your waist and leading you to the door. “The bill!” You said, trying to get him to slow down. “We need to pay.”
“Already taken care of,” he said, tightening his grip around your waist.
You let him sweep you out of the restaurant, enthralled by the sudden confidence he displayed. Once outside, you led him towards the park down by the river. Neither of you spoke during the walk, letting the cool night air attempt to calm the fire that had ignited between you two at the restaurant. There were other people in the park – couples walking, people walking their dogs, a few nighttime joggers – but no one paid you any attention. The dark concealed you in your own world.
“I’m sorry about that,” Jungkook finally spoke up. “I just needed to get out of there and be able to touch you.”
“We could’ve held hands in the restaurant,” you said.
He stopped walking and turned to face you. Both of his hands went to your hips, pulling your body flush against his.
“I wanted to hold you closer, though.”
Between the breeze and his stare, you shivered. You hadn’t anticipated the night to get so chilly, and you hadn’t brought a jacket. Jungkook noticed though, quickly removing his suit jacket and wrapping it around you. He whispered your name softly, one of the rare times he addressed you by it.
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” he said softly.
He stared into your eyes, a hand coming up to cup your cheek. He looked like he wanted to continue speaking, so you waited. Instead, he leaned down, hesitating right before his lips touched yours. You reached up though, raising up on your toes and closing the distance between you. As soon as your lips touched, you gripped onto your soulmate’s waist, anchoring you together. His lips were cautious as they moved against yours, and his hand was soft as it traced your cheek. Jungkook pulled away from the kiss first, but rested his forehead against yours.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” He whispered.
“We’re soulmates, Kookie,” you reminded him.
“I know. But I really want to be boyfriend and girlfriend as well.”
You smiled and pressed another kiss to his lips.
“Let’s get back home, then,” you said, stepping out of his grasp. “I want to kiss my boyfriend more.”
Jungkook’s face lit up at your words, and he took your hand, following you back to the apartment. The entire walk, he remained pressed against your side, as if being more than a few inches from you caused him pain. His hand pressed against the small of your back as you led him through the atrium of your apartment building and up the stairs. You struggled to pull your keys out of your purse, distracted by the way both his hands moved towards your waist. When you finally unlocked the door, Jungkook wasted no time pushing you into the apartment, arms now fully wrapped around you and tugging your back tightly to his chest. He buried his head into your neck, taking deep breaths of the perfume you’d used earlier. You placed your hands on his arms, fingers smoothing his tattooed skin.
“You okay?” you whispered after a few moments of silence. He nodded against you. You turned your head to the side and pressed your lips to the top of his head.
“Can we really keep kissing?” He mumbled into your neck.
“Of course,” you laughed a little.
You wanted to tease him, to tell him that his hold on you was the only thing preventing your lips from being against his, but you didn’t get the chance. He spun you around, quickly smashing his lips to yours. These weren't the sweet kisses you exchanged at the park. Jungkook’s mouth was frantic, hungry as he pressed himself against you. The kisses were sloppy, his teeth bumping yours.
“Slow down, Jungkook,” you said, pulling away from him. He chased you for another kiss, but you stopped him, placing your hands on his chest.
"Are you okay?" He asked, his face crestfallen. "Did I hurt you?"
"No!" You rushed to reassure him, cupping his face gently. "But you can take a breath. This isn't a race." To show him, you pulled him down into a new, slow kiss, trying to get him to savor the movement of your lips against each other. “There’s no need to rush,” you told him, thumbs tracing over his cheeks. “We have all the time in the world.”
“But we don’t,” he said, his eyes starting to water with emotion. “I leave tomorrow morning. And then we won’t see each other until June.”
“We’ll have time in June. And then again in September. I’m not leaving, Jungkook,” you explained. “I’m only going to be getting closer.”
“Do you promise?”
“The only place I’ll be going from here on out is closer to you guys.”
This seemed to reassure Jungkook. He leaned down to kiss you again, this kiss all slow-burning passion and careful exploration, his hand cupping the back of your head. Without breaking the kiss, you pulled him with you back towards the couch. He followed you without complaint. As soon as he sat down next to you, your hands were on him again, running over his shoulders and down his arms, feeling his carefully crafted muscles tighten under your touch. Jungkook angled his head, trying to deepen the kiss as his tongue swiped over your bottom lip. He didn’t follow through, though, so you took the opportunity to repeat the action to him. His lips parted with a soft moan, and you slid your tongue past them. He couldn’t decide where to put his hands, moving them constantly from your waist to your hips to your thighs, squeezing and feeling every soft part of you. You ran your hands down the front of his chest, feeling the sculpt of his muscles just underneath the pads of your fingers. Jungkook placed a hand on your back, pulling you closer to him, but you wanted to be closer still. You broke away from your soulmate’s lips, placing kisses along his jawline and down his neck. His chest was heaving and you felt it move as you started to work on the buttons of his shirt. But, when you popped the third button open, Jungkook froze underneath you.
“Are you okay?” You asked, pulling away and taking your hands completely away from him. “What’s the matter?”
“I’ve never done anything else,” he mumbled, looking where his hands laid in his lap.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve never done anything other than making out,” he said softly. “A little bit of touching over the clothes, but that’s it.” He was blushing and still wouldn’t look up at you. “Between becoming a trainee and debuting so young, I never had time for dating. I’ve kissed some girls, mostly at private parties, but never gone much farther.” He finally glanced up at you, large eyes worried. “Are you disappointed?”
“Absolutely not,” you said. Disappointed, no. But you were a little surprised; Jungkook was ridiculously handsome and wealthy, which could be a seductive combination. But he was shy and had become famous at a young age, which you knew had affected his youth. You reached out and touched his hand softly, wanting him to be able to pull away if he wanted to. He didn’t though, weaving his fingers with yours. “There’s nothing to be disappointed about.” Jungkook started to protest, but you gave him a chaste kiss to silence him. “We can move forward at whatever speed you want. We won’t go any further than what you’re ready for.”
Letting out a held breath, Jungkook leaned forward and hugged you tightly. You hugged him back, glad to see that your soulmate was comfortable again. Running your hands through his hair, you felt his breathing even out.
“We should probably go to bed soon,” you told him. “You have to be at the airport early.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” Jungkook said, tightening his arms around you.
You weren’t sure what to say, or how to comfort him. It was six weeks til your trip in June. And, while six weeks was shorter than the three months initially planned, it didn’t provide much comfort when you both knew how wonderful it was to be in each other’s arms. So you didn’t lie, didn’t try to placate him when you didn’t believe it yourself. You just held on, hands still smoothing over his hair and back. If Jungkook didn’t want to move, then you’d just spend the night like this, curled on the couch with him.
“The others,” he said finally. “They’ve…you guys have,” he struggled, trying to find the right words to proceed. “When we’ve all been together, you and some of the others have slept together?” You nodded. “Would you…would it be okay if I slept with you tonight?” You could practically feel his cheeks heat up as he rushed to clarify. “Not for anything else! I just want to cuddle and be close.”
“I’d like that, Jungkook.”
Despite that plan, you both got ready for bed separately, neither one of you ready for the intimacy that came with changing in front of the other or completing your nightly routines together. Your bedroom door remained open though, an invitation for Jungkook to enter whenever he was ready. He came in several minutes after you finished getting ready, as you were grabbing a spare blanket for the unexpectedly cool night. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, waiting to see what he would do as he hung nervously in your doorway.
“We don’t have to do this,” you said finally, looking at him. He was shifting from foot to foot, not quite sure where to look. You imagined that this was how you looked the night of Taehyung’s birthday – both thrilled and nervous at the invitation. You approached him, putting a hand on his arm. “You can change your mind at any point. If you stay, you can leave later. Or you can leave now and come back later tonight. You’re welcome to do whatever feels best.”
Wondering if having less attention on him would help him feel comfortable enough to make a decision, you chose to go to bed. You raised on your toes to kiss his cheek sweetly, then went to lay down. Bidding him a final good night, you turned off your light. Luckily, this worked. You heard Jungkook walk towards you, and the bed shifted as he climbed in. Emboldened by the darkness, you felt him curl behind you and wrap his arm around your stomach, pulling you against him. And, knowing this would be the last moment like this for weeks to come, you both fell asleep.
A/N: More kisses!
I've never claimed and will never claim to know BTS personally, the characters that I wrote are just based on the public personas they put forward. I don't know what they do personally, and that's not my right. This is fiction. With that all said, the whole "JK is a virgin" plotline aged hilariously fast, even when I first posted this. I came up and wrote this chapter pre-Seven and pre-3D. I thought it would be interesting to explore. So please, make every joke I deserve, but know this chapter predates the horny JK album
Also, special shout-out to @kimmynammy who predicted this chapter's reveal!
An outtake/mini-headcanon that never got written(in between Chapter 22 and 23):
Yoongi is in your bed, so Hobi and Jungkook are sharing and Jungkook cannot fall asleep.
He cannot get his mind, his heart, his body to stop replaying how it felt to have you laying on top of him, laughing a full-bodied laugh.
Ugh, how wonderful it felt to have your body covering his and moving like that. Just shaking and -- fuck.
A decade with these guys, the entirety of his hormonal teenage years, and this had to be the worst, most awkward boner he'd ever had.
Laying less than a foot away from his Hobi-hyung, who was probably dreaming about you, just like Jungkook was.
Jungkook wasn't sure if that made things worse or better.
Would he rather be alone in how outrageously turned on he was? Or know that Hobi was feeling the same and they were both perverts?
Maybe another shower would help? Or he could go for a jog? Or a jog and an ice cold shower afterwards?
Why did his soulmate have to put on that stupid movie with that big haired actress and her fake orgasm and moans?
Because now Jungkook only wanted to feel your body and learn how to get you to make those sounds. Get you to shake on top of him again. But from pleasure this time, not from laughter.
Or maybe laughter. Some people say that sex can be fun. And Jungkook loves making you laugh and smile, so maybe he could make sex with you fun.
Crap. He refused to stay this hard while laying in bed with his hyung. So he heads back to the bathroom, only to catch Jimin's attention, but Jungkook waved him off.
After the water turns on though, Jungkook can't ignore the knocks on the door. "Didn't you already take a shower?" "Are you okay?" It's Jimin and Taehyung and there's no way Jungkook is explaining this to them. They'd never let him live it down.
"I'm okay," Jungkook tried to say in his most normal tone.
"You've been acting weird since the movie..." Jimin started. "We just want to make sure you're not sick," Tae completed. Jungkook can practically see their twin evil smiles.
"I'm fine!" It's not shouted in a way any fine person would shout.
Jungkook thought they left. He really did. The water was icy and helped calm him down.
And then he heard it.
Or rather, them. Copying the damn movie.
"Hyungs! I'm gonna kill you two!"
Sorry for missing the weekend update. It was a crazy weekend personally, but please have this as a small apology.
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
Chapter 23 -- You Square All the Corners, I Straighten the Curves
On your last day together, you finally start to feel like a proper soulmate.
As you wanted to, you woke up the next morning in Yoongi’s arms. Or rather, against his body. You were laying half on top of him, cheek pressed into his chest, fingers knotted into his sleep shirt. He was awake, his fingers flitting up and down your sides. You didn’t move though, keeping your eyes closed as you listened to his heart beat. The morning was chilly and a shiver shook your body. Under you, Yoongi shifted slightly and repositioned the blankets so you were better covered.
“I know you’re up,” he said, pressing a kiss to your hair.
“Still asleep,” you disagreed, tightening your hold on him a little.
“Too bad,” he said. You could practically hear the smirk on his lips. “I was going to kiss my soulmate when she woke up, but now I’ll have to wait.”
This got your attention. You pushed up so you could look at him properly. His eyes were still a little sleepy, and his hair was a mess. There was a long red indent on his cheek where he must’ve had it pressed against the pillow. You probably looked like a wreck, your hair always unmanageable in the morning. But he was stunning, and hearing those words come from his mouth made your heart race.
“Soulmate?” You repeated.
“I mean, I thought so? Yesterday, with the kiss? And you asking me to stay? I thought – I mean, what I said in my studio – You –”
You cut him off with a kiss. Disregarding the fact that both of you probably had morning breathe, you kissed him deeply and swept your tongue over his bottom lip. Yoongi sighed into the kiss, his hands gripping onto your hips. He slipped his tongue into your mouth and you welcomed the feeling. Running your hands up his torso, you let yourself feel the mixture of lean muscle and soft edges that made up his body. Yoongi pulled away with a shuddered breath as your fingers ran over chest.
“Soulmates,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I’m still not used to hearing it. Or saying it myself. But yes, Yoongi, we’re soulmates.”
He smashed his lips against yours. This kiss was different from the previous ones you’d shared with him. It was needy and desperate. With one arm still wrapped around your waist, Yoongi attempted to move, dragging you with him as he tried to sit up without breaking the kiss. He failed though, a knock on the door interrupting you both.
"Hey, is it okay if I start some coffee?" Namjoon called through the door.
"Go ahead," you said loudly before moving back to kiss Yoongi.
"And Jin was wondering if he could start breakfast?" Namjoon continued.
"I'm gonna kill him," Yoongi grumbled.
"That's fine, Namjoon," you called back. A small part of you thought to go to the kitchen and help. But it was quickly silenced when Yoongi started to press his lips against your neck. "This is your apartment, too. Be comfortable!"
Yoongi yanked your mouth back to his. You assumed Namjoon left, but you were too consumed by Yoongi's kisses. He managed to rearrange himself so he was sitting up against the headboard. He pulled you towards him, gently tugging on your leggings and trying to encourage you to straddle him.
"I shouldn't," you whispered, pulling away from him.
"Why not?" His eyebrows were furrowed, trying to figure out what you were thinking.
"I don't want to hurt you," you mumbled. Yoongi was lean, not having the thicker muscles some of his friends had. The last thing you wanted was to hurt him. "I'm too heavy."
Yoongi's face fell. "No, no," he whispered. His hand came up to cup your cheek. "Don't talk like that. You're beautiful." You tried not to scoff. Yoongi was beautiful – able to go from looking like the boy next door to dangerously handsome with minimal effort. You were not. "I want you to sit on my lap. You don't have to, but please trust me when I say I want it." His eyes were soft with affection as he looked into yours. "I want to feel close to you."
Yoongi kissed you then. He didn't move his hands though, leaving the choice to move up to you. So you trusted him, slinging one of your legs over his until you were settled in his lap. You could feel him smile as his lips moved against yours. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you until your chests were pressed together. You deepened the kiss, tongue slipping into his mouth as you gripped his shoulders.
The bed shifted, though neither Yoongi nor you moved. You pulled away and saw Taehyung sitting cross-legged on your bed, flippantly watching Yoongi and you.
"Jin wants to know what everyone wants in their omelets," Tae said, smiling brightly now that the attention was on him.
"Cheese and mushroom, please," you said.
It felt surreal, being pressed so closely to Yoongi, his hands still stroking and kneading at the fat of your waist, all while Taehyung just watched. And Tae waited for Yoongi to answer.
"I want privacy," Yoongi grumbled, glaring at the younger man.
"I'll tell him the usual then," Tae laughed. He leaned forward and pecked your cheek. "Just save some kisses for the rest of us, hyung!" Then darted out the door.
"I think we should probably go greet the others," you said.
Your actions didn't match your words though, as you ran your fingers through his hair. You loved the feeling of his long hair and you wanted to cling to him for just a second more. Finally, a few moments later, you pulled away from your soulmate and off the bed. Yoongi took your hand and followed you wordlessly out of the bedroom, towards the kitchen, where you could already hear the other six loudly talking. When you entered, you left Yoongi's side to go and greet your other soulmates. Cheek kisses here and there, a shy hug from Namjoon.
"Is there a plan for today?" Jimin asked.
"I had some thoughts," you said. Jin handed you a plate and kissed your cheek again. "But I'm flexible. The last two days have been busy, and I know you guys are going back to a full schedule."
"What were you thinking?" Hoseok asked.
"I thought we could all go to the beach we went to for our date? It's still chilly, so there shouldn't be a lot of people. But we could explore, go to the pier? There's a few good restaurants there and an arcade."
"I'm up for a beach day," Jin said, finally sitting down with his own food. The others voiced their agreement between bites of food.
Later that morning, the eight of you piled into the two rental cars and headed off. Like you predicted, the beach was empty save a few joggers and someone tossing a frisbee to their dog. You led the guys down the path, excited to watch as they shed their facemasks. As soon as you got to the sand, Jungkook yanked on Jimin and Taehyung's arms, pulling them towards the water.
"It's going to be freezing!" You shouted after them, but they didn't listen.
You chased after them, trying to warn them as they shed their socks and shoes and rolled up their pants legs. They didn't care though, running into the water. But, as soon as their feet dipped in, they started shouting in shock, quickly running back to the dry sand. Behind this, your eldest four soulmates were laughing at the maknaes' misfortune.
"It was so cold!" Jimin complained as you stood near them
"I warned you," you said, laughing as he pouted.
"I know. But," he grinned suddenly, eyes glimmering with mischief, "I could use a kiss to warm me up."
"Ew, gross," Taehyung said. "Did you just ask her to kiss your feet?"
"No! I meant, like – No!" Jimin groaned. Jungkook burst into giggles as the other two glared at each other playfully.
"I know what you meant, Jiminie," you said, not wanting him to suffer too long. "You mean like this?"
You leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Jimin moved to kiss you back, but you pulled away. Although the beach was empty, you were still in public and you were unsure of how to proceed with being affectionate in front of your other soulmates.
"I'm cold, too!" Jungkook said.
You laughed. He was much bolder today, taking his hyungs' cues of when and how to flirt, as he had at Tae's birthday dinner. You didn't want your first kiss with him to be here, though, surrounded by the others, and you doubted he wanted that either. So you rose up on your toes and kissed his cheek. Despite his bravado, he blushed and you kissed his other cheek.
"This is twice in a few hours I've watched you kiss the others and not me," Taehyung said.
"I'm sorry," you said and pulled away from Jungkook quickly. "I didn't mean – I'm sorry."
"No no no," Taehyung rushed, taking your hands. "I was teasing! I was trying to joke, I'm not upset." He drew you into his arms. "I'm the one who should be sorry now."
"It's okay," you reassure him. "This is just still a little weird? There's so many boundaries to figure out. How affectionate can we be with each other around everyone else without it being weird?"
"Well –"
"Shut up, Jimin," Taehyung said, then leaned down to kiss you briefly.
"Hurry up, you guys!"
The four of you looked back to see Jin shouting and waving you back towards them. Jimin and Tae took off, running towards the others, but Jungkook turned to look at you. Despite the mischievous look in his eyes, he extended his arms for a hug. You couldn't deny him and went to him. Then, before you understood what was happening, Jungkook bent down, grabbed your waist, and lifted you over his shoulder with a soft grunt. You yelped in surprise.
"Put me down!" You cried.
"Nope."
"Please put me down! I don't want to hurt you!"
"No way," Jungkook said. "I've been working out more, Noona. I'm going to carry you everywhere soon."
And, to better demonstrate his point, Jungkook wrapped his arms around your legs and started walking. You shouted again in surprise and quickly grabbed onto his waist to try and steady yourself. You could hear the others laughing at the two of you. Despite the situation, you found yourself amazed at Jungkook, the narrowness of his waist contrasted by the hard stomach you felt underneath his sweatshirt. You'd never been carried like this before – no one had ever tried and you doubted you would let them – and you wondered how much time Jungkook was spending at the gym if he was able to carry you with relative ease. But you clung to him until you felt him stop walking and bend over, placing your feet back on the sand. When he let you go, you wobbled a little and Jin's arms came up to support you.
"Was that really necessary?" Jin sighed, but a smile was on his face.
"Absolutely!" Jungkook smiled brightly at both of you before he turned around and ran after the others who were walking down the beach.
"Shall we?" Jin asked, offering his bent arm to you.
You took it without a second thought, pressing yourself against his side as you slowly followed the others down the beach. Neither one of you spoke, content to watch the others goof off. Taehyung had Yoongi slung over his back, the older man's legs flailing as he got carried.
"Is this what it'd be like if we lived together?" You asked, looking up at Jin. "Little adventures around the city? Waking up to kisses and each other's cooking? Always feeling this," you paused. Loved was the word on the tip of your tongue. You felt thoroughly loved, but you didn't want to say that yet. "Always feeling this cared for?"
"I'd like to think the majority of the time would be like this," Jin said. "But there would still be difficult times. We'd still travel a lot. Comebacks make us incredibly busy, so much that we're barely home to sleep. That's something we'll have to deal with even if we live together." You nodded and tightened your grip on his arm. You understood what Jin meant. Regardless of where you lived, your soulmates would still be BTS and have the responsibilities that came with their position. "But I'd like to think that this care, this warmth, would be with us regardless."
You nodded again as the two of you finally caught up with the others. Jungkook was tracing shapes in the wet sand with Hoseok, Yoongi leaning against a rock with Jimin watching them. Off a little further, you saw Namjoon navigating a rocky patch, Taehyung nearby with his phone out. With a smile and a pat, you let go of Jin and went to find Taehyung. You hadn't spent a lot of time with him during this visit, aside from the brazen first kiss he'd given you, and you wanted to take some time with him. So you left Jin and the others, walking over the rocky bits of shore carefully until you were by Tae's side.
"What are you taking photos of?" You asked.
Tae lowered his phone and pointed out to a large flock of white birds gathered on the shore. "I like the way they look against the dark sand and water." You smiled at him and he glanced at you, hesitantly. "Are you mad at me?"
"No, absolutely not," you said, gently tugging on his sleeve so he'd turn to you. "Why would I be mad at you?"
"Because of how I kissed you," he mumbled. He put his phone away and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I didn't asked. I didn't wait til we were alone or try to make it romantic. I just grabbed you and kissed you."
It wasn't that hearing his insecurities made you happy, but it made you feel more like an equal in your odd soulmate relationship. Your seven soulmates so frequently seemed untouchable – rich, talented, handsome, confident – that you viewed them that way yourself. But moments like these reminded you that they weren't that different. They were still learning how to navigate the soulmate bonds just as you were, insecure and anxious in their own ways.
"I wanted to kiss you, Taehyung," you said. He wasn't looking at you, so you moved until you were standing in his line of sight and placed your hands on his arms. "I wanted to kiss you the night of your birthday too. I was just scared." He grinned a little. It encouraged you to keep talking. "It was passionate and confident, just like you, Tae. I wouldn't change it."
Your soulmate was beaming now, his boxy smile brightening his face. He moved his hands to rest on your hips as your hand went to cup the back of his neck. You pulled him down towards you, til your foreheads were touching.
"Plus," you whispered, feeling his hands dig into you, "we can always kiss again."
Your previous caution about passer-bys dissipated as you focused on reassuring him. Tae's breath hitched as you rose up and closed the distance to his lips. This kiss was wildly different than your first together. It was slow, his lips melding against yours as though he was putting thought into every movement, every gentle swipe of his tongue. His grip on your hips got tighter and you moaned lightly. Taehyung took that opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth and you pressed closer to him. Finally, Tae drew back to breathe, looking down at you with widened pupils. His lips were pinker from kissing, as you knew yours were too.
"We need to figure something out," he said, voice low. While one of his hands stayed attached to your hip, the other came up to cup your cheek. "If I don't get to kiss you every day, I might go mad."
"You have Jimin, though," you said. If you were in Tae's position, you would choose Jimin over yourself any day. "You're always together."
"That's different. You aren't Jimin; Jimin isn't you." Taehyung's face was serious, his eyes focused on yours. "I love Jimin, but being with him every day doesn't make up for not seeing you. The two of you aren't interchangeable in my heart." Though you had no doubt that Jimin and Taehyung were deeply in love, hearing him declare it so easily made your heart race. Would you ever be able to say the same about him? "Back in Seoul, you asked me to be selfish. And I am. I want both of you, everyday, for the rest of my life."
At that, Taehyung leaned down to kiss you again. Though it was a quick kiss, you could feel the desire behind his lips as he held onto you. He drew away before either of you could get too carried away.
"Don't want to start something I can't finish," he whispered in your ear. His low voice made your shiver.
He took your hand then and led you back towards the others. You hadn't walked far before you caught sight of Namjoon, sitting at the edge of a tide pool and staring intently at it. As you got closer, you could hear him talking in Korean. Noticing that you were now focused on his hyung, Tae let go of your hand, pressed a final kiss to the top of your head, and left you alone with Namjoon. Despite the frequent interruptions you'd had with Yoongi recently, your soulmates were surprisingly adept at giving each other privacy with you. You were unsure if it had something to do with the soulmate bond, if they'd noticed desires that you weren't even aware you had, or if it was based on years of friendship and knowledge of each other, but the seven were able to weave around each other and you with little friction.
"You found the tide pools?" You asked Namjoon as you stood to his side.
"They're fascinating, don't you think?" He said, looking up at you, smiling his wide, dimpled smile up at you. You nodded in agreement, sitting down next to him. "Their own little world, a microcosm of the vast ocean that we can see."
"It looks cozy," you said. Namjoon quirked an eyebrow, probably unsure if you'd play out this thought experiment with him. But you wanted to. "Safe, sheltered from most of the world's dangers. Together with everyone you care about." You paused to point at a crab that crawled across the rock and into the tide pool. Namjoon's eyes brightened at the sight. "I think…I think I would like to live like that."
This caught Namjoon's attention. He wasn't stupid, he understood what you meant. His head whipped towards you. His eyes were surprised, this clearly wasn't how he imagined this conversation going.
"I think that would be a nice way to live, too," he said finally. He shifted, inching himself closer to you before talking again. "What would it take for you to move into the tide pool?"
You weren't stupid either. You knew what he was really asking: when will you come with us? What would it take for you to move to Seoul, to always be with them. You had put some thought into it, but the possibility – the need – to move truly only hit you after talking with Yoongi the previous day. But you wanted to keep this hypothetical going, wanted to stay near Namjoon, so you tried to think.
"Well, first I'd have to find a decent sized tide pool. I have a lot of stuff now and I don't think it would fit in this one."
Luckily, Namjoon laughed at this, a loud giggle bursting out from his chest. You smiled, liking that you'd caused him joy. After his laughter subsided, he looked at you, eyes warm and expectant – he wanted a real answer now. Under his gaze, you felt odd, both nervous and emboldened by his attention. So, before you answered, you inched closer to him, your legs nearly touching. You couldn't face him though, still too embarrassed for that, so you focused on the water in front of you.
"School isn't the problem anymore. I would be able to do my school work from the tide pool. I could try to student teach there, even. Or, if not, that'd only be a few months away from home." That word – home – slipped from your mouth before you could stop it. You could feel your cheeks flush at the word, but you tried not to get caught up on the slip. "But I think the true delay is that I'd have to make sure that I would be useful to the tide pool." Namjoon made a small sound in protest, but luckily he let you continue. "Being a barista in the tide pool isn't really feasible," you explained, "but I could tutor from there. I'd have to crunch the numbers. How many more students to take on to supplement not being a barista? How would I even find those students?" You sighed, finally looking at Namjoon. "It's not that I don't want to move to the tide pool, I just don't want to be a burden."
Namjoon wasn't smiling anymore, his mouth set in concentration as he thought. You let him take his time, just as he gave you. While you waited, you ran your fingers over the rocks in between your bodies.
"I think the tide pool would be willing to help with that," he said finally. You drew a sharp breath and Namjoon rushed to explain. "Looking at the numbers, I mean. I know you've been handling your finances for a while, but if you want to bounce ideas off others, you can. The starfish and the anemone are good with money."
"The starfish and the anemone?" You repeated slowly. Maybe this metaphor had gone too far.
"Hobi and Yoongi," he laughed. "I was trying to be clever."
"I understand Hoseok, but I thought Yoongi would be a crab? Hard shell, soft and mushy on the inside."
"I want to be the crab," Namjoon pouted.
"Fine, you're the crab," you laughed. You leaned in, playfully bumping his shoulder with yours. Namjoon smiled at the touch. "But yeah, I'll talk to Hoseok and Yoongi. See if they could double check my numbers or something."
Both of you became quiet. In the distance, you could hear the others laughing, but neither of you moved to go back to them. After a few minutes of watching the creatures in the tide pool, you glanced over at Namjoon. He was already looking at you, a soft smile on his lips. You smiled back. Carefully, as if he was afraid to startle you, Namjoon reached over and took your hand. His hands were massive compared to yours, his long fingers weaving between yours. You watched him as he looked from your face to your joined hands and back. He seemed so hesitant, so you squeezed his hand a little tighter. His eyes grew soft as he squeezed back.
"You're not a burden," Namjoon said. "You'll never be a burden."
This time, you decided to believe him.
Late that afternoon, the eight of you went back to the apartment. Faces windburned, hair knotted from the type of breezes that came as winter started to die off, clothes damp from the seaspray. As the guys took turns showering, you prepped the burrito bar for dinner. It was easy enough to cook the meat and veggies for eight people, leaving the true burrito making to each individual. Bulk cooking was something you would have to get used to, though. After years of never cooking for more than Ally, Jay, and yourself, you knew you would have to focus on learning to cook for the eight of you. The sheer amount of food they ate was honestly a little astonishing, though you knew that they needed all the energy possible to keep up with the travel, practices, and workouts that kept them so busy. You couldn’t make their jobs easier, or even be with them as much as you wanted, but you could at least feed them well when you were together. So, as you transferred the sauteed vegetables from the skillet to a bowl to rest til your soulmates were ready, you made a mental note to spend the time before your next trip to Seoul researching good bulk recipes.
“Do you need any help?” Taehyung asked, wandering into the kitchen.
“Actually, could you grab the tortillas from the fridge? Lay them out on a sheet pan so they can warm in the oven.” You asked.
As you pulled out the tray of chicken from the oven, you glanced at Taehyung. His wet hair was starting to curl, he looked relaxed and adorable. Trying to focus, you double-checked that the chicken was cooked before putting in the wraps.
“What next?” Tae asked, looking over from the toppings he’d laid out.
“We’ve got to wait for the chicken to cool a little before shredding it,” you explained, wiping up a few messy spots on the counter. When you felt Tae’s hand on your back, though, you stopped and looked up at your soulmate. “Is everything okay, Tae?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I just…is anyone sharing a bed with you tonight?” You shook your head. “Can Jimin and I? I know we’ve only had a few days as a group, but –”
“Of course we can sleep together,” you said, wanting to calm his worries before he got too deep into them.
Before the seven of them arrived, Jin had told you during one of your phone calls that, though he missed you and enjoyed sleeping with you, he didn’t plan on sharing your bed this trip unless none of the others wanted to, which you both doubted. He’d gotten extra time with you alone, he’d explained, and he didn’t want to take away the minimal time the other six had by being selfish. You understood his reasoning, and he’d struggled to find a response when you called him the best hyung ever. So, between knowing that Jin wouldn’t come see you, that you’d already spent nights with Hoseok and Yoongi, and that your relationships with Jungkook and Namjoon were not at that stage of intimacy, you knew that no one would protest the three of you sleeping together. And, besides the logistics of it all, you wanted to sleep with them again too.
“I want to sleep together, too,” you said. “We’re going to have to wait until June to see each other again, and I want everyone to feel as good as they can going into this. It’s going to be a hectic few months for you guys. If you’re struggling to sleep, or feeling bad, that’s just going to make everything worse.” You sighed, once again wishing that this situation was different. “If it would help, I’d say that we should just pile all the mattresses in the living room and camp out for the night together like that.”
“I think we should save that for another time,” Taehyung laughed. “But I like your creativity.”
“Why haven’t you showered yet?” Jimin called out, walking towards you. He looked at the spread of food and sighed. “Have you been cooking this entire time?”
“Someone needed to cook, Jimin,” you said, “but Hoseok and Kook helped me prep and chop everything. Plus all of you wanted to shower, so I let you go first while I worked.”
“Will you go relax and shower now?” Jimin pleaded, looking at you with pleading eyes.
“I still have to shred the chicken.”
“Tae and I can do that.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Taehyung or you cook,” you said, cautiously eyeing the duo.
“That’s because we’re pretty bad cooks,” Taehyung said flatly.
“I think I’ll just stay,” you laughed, Tae’s honesty inspiring no confidence.
“We can pull apart some cooked chicken,” Jimin whined, playfully shoving Tae out of your immediate area. He wrapped you into a hug and ducked his head closer to yours so he could whisper. “I get what you’re doing. Cooking all the meals, making sure we get comfortable first. You’re trying to take care of us.” You blushed a little, clearly caught in your attempts to show your affections. Jimin kissed your forehead sweetly. “We see it, we appreciate it. But go get comfy, please.”
With two final kisses to both your soulmates’ cheeks, you left to go shower. You hoped dinner would be safe in their hands, or that one of your soulmates who was more skilled in the kitchen would be in to oversee soon. Luckily, when you emerged from the shower, pajamas on and hair wet, dinner was ready and safe.
You seven soulmates were lounging around the kitchen. Each dressed in their pajamas as you knew they were planning on an early night with a long day of travel ahead of them. You found yourself admiring them just as you had the night of Taehyung's birthday, though they couldn't be dressed more differently. The stylish suits swapped for loose flannel pants, sweatpants, and baggy shirts. Their hair was in varying stages from still dripping wet to fluffy from air drying. They were breathtakingly handsome. And, taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you wanted to see them like this all the time, relaxed and comfortable, no more than a short walk away.
"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come over so we can eat?" Hoseok asked, looking over at you.
"You guys could've started without me," you said, grabbing a plate.
They voiced their disagreement, though, insisting that they wanted to wait and eat as a group. Dinner was a mellow affair, several of you already stuck in thought about your upcoming separation. You kept glancing around, trying to burn this image to memory. It would have to last you until June, but you promised yourself that you would spend the next months doing whatever it took to be with them more often than not.
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: Pointless but fun fact that you might have figured out: I am a massive musical theatre geek. Most of the chapter titles in this story are either direct lyrics or references to musical theatre songs. The lyrics don't actually matter, so don't worry if you don't get the reference. But if you do know, have fun with the reference, especially with this chapter. Iykyk 😉.
Chapter 22 -- We'll Work That Silver Magic
How many persons can a flustered person fluster if a flustered person could fluster persons?
You woke up to the sound of mumbled Korean, Hoseok's head buried in the crook between your shoulder and neck. His hand gripped your stomach, and you rubbed his arm. You whispered his name, but he just murmured a few more Korean words and pulled you tighter to him. You closed your eyes again, running your fingers up and down his forearm. He adjusted and, as his hips moved against your butt, you felt an unmistakable bulge press against you. You forced yourself to take a breath and calm yourself. While this wasn't your first time dealing with a partner's morning wood, the newness of your relationship with Hoseok made you pause. Would he wake up embarrassed about the natural reaction when he slept so close to you? Would he want to continue where you two had left off last night – with wandering hands and deep kisses? Or would he just ignore it and pretend his erection wasn't currently pressed against your ass? Though it would probably be the least embarrassing for him if you simply got up and started your day, you'd promised him a good morning kiss, and you wanted to keep that promise. You squeezed his arm lightly and called his name, trying to wake him.
"Too early," he mumbled, arms tightening around you.
"It's almost 7am," you giggled. "Plus, I owe you a kiss."
That seemed to wake Hoseok up. He loosened his arms and leaned over, kissing you sleepily.
"Good morning," he mumbled. As he leaned back down for another kiss, his hips pressed closer to you, and he paused. You watched as his face turned red and he inched away, finally realizing his personal situation. "I am so sorry."
"It's okay," you said, turning over to kiss him again. He glanced away, embarrassed. "Erections don't scare me, Hoseok. At least, not yours."
"I think I'm still dreaming," he said, staring at you with a confused look. Half-asleep Hoseok was just as cute in your bed as he'd been back in the kitchen of the Seoul apartment. "Can we put a pin in this conversation for later?"
"Sure. I'm going to start breakfast. Take your time getting ready."
You kissed his cheek one last time before climbing out of bed. March mornings were still relatively cool and you shivered a little as your walked to the kitchen, immediately missing Hoseok's warmth. As you walked into the common areas, you glanced at the sleeper couch. There Taehyung laid on top of Jimin, wrapped in each other's arms and still fast asleep. You knew it would only be a few minutes until Hoseok came out from your room, or until Yoongi and Jin smelled coffee and came to investigate. Unsure of whether the others had ever seen Jimin and Taehyung like this, wrapped up like the lovers they were, you wanted to warn them in case they hadn't.
"People are starting to get up," you whispered, kneeling on the floor near them. Tae was the first to stir, and you ran your fingers through his hair. "The others will be out here soon. I don't know if you want to move." Tae groaned and pulled himself out of Jimin's arms before laying back down. Jimin mumbled his first soulmate's name and rubbed his eyes. When he cracked them open and saw you, he smiled. "I'm starting breakfast. Just wanted to make sure you were okay."
With a kiss to his forehead, you left them, heading to your kitchen. Despite not having set anything up here yourself, you were happy with the organization of the area. Things were logically placed and the most used items were easily accessible and in reach. Special care had clearly gone into the set up with your short stature, which was significantly shorter than even Jimin, in mind. You smiled at the care and affection they displayed through every action.
Switching on your coffee maker, you got lost in the thought of what it would be like if this was your full time life. What it would be like if, instead of quick trips across the ocean whenever possible, you were always together. How nice a life of gentle kisses and shared beds would be. Would the eight of you like it if, instead of traveling to see each other, you could simply come home to each other?
A pair of arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a chest. Jimin mumbled your name, greeting you before pressing a kiss to your neck. You tried to turn around to face him, but Jimin just tightened his grip.
"Good morning, Jimin," you said, finally prying yourself away and turning to look at him. You reached up to smooth out his hair, then let your hands rest on his shoulders. "How did you sleep?"
"Slept good," he said, his morning voice a little deeper than normal. His hands started to move, fingers drawing loose patterns on your hips before moving up to your ribs. "I could get used to waking up to this though." He looked you over slowly, eyes taking in the leggings you'd worn to bed, and the baggy t-shirt covering you. One hand moved, now gently cupping the back of your head, fingers stroking the nape of your neck. The other stayed on your ribs, fingers digging into your back and thumb just touching your breast. "Could get used to waking up and being able to touch you."
Jimin was intoxicating. From the way his messy bangs hung in front of his eyes to the heated look he gave you through lidded eyes. You stared at him, trying to think of something to say. His full lips were pressed into a pout as he stared back at you. From the first moment you met and your bodies touched, Jimin made his intentions clear. He always thought of himself as your soulmate, always fulfilled that role, even when you struggled to simply be in a room with them. And now you wanted your intentions to be clear with him. You tried to keep your balance and your breath steady as you leaned forward and closer to Jimin. His fingers dug deeper into you and you felt his breath hitch as you closed the gap between you and kissed him. As soon as your lips touched, Jimin came alive, tightening his grip on you and crushing your bodies together. His mouth was frenzied, pressing against yours with every bit of passion and adoration he’d tempered since August. You clung to him, fingers twisting in his hair. Jimin moved away from your mouth, pressing kisses down your neck as his hands moved farther up, thumbs caressing your breasts over your shirt. You cupped his cheek and pulled his face back to yours, wanting his lips against yours again. Your soulmate didn’t make you wait, kissing you deeply and quickly swiping his tongue into your mouth.
"I would like coffee, please."
Jimin and you broke away from each other, staring at Hoseok as he leaned against the table.
"I don't care if you keep kissing," he continued. "Just don't do it in front of the coffee pot."
You blushed and pulled out of Jimin's arms. Though you'd done nothing wrong, it felt odd to go from kissing Hoseok in bed to making out with Jimin in the kitchen a few minutes later. So you ducked your head and went to the fridge, trying to figure out what to make. Jimin followed you though, sliding his arms around your waist and peppering the side of your face with kisses.
"Jimin," you whispered, half scolding and half embarrassed by his boldness.
"What?" He asked, staring down at you with mischievous eyes. You pointed at Hoseok, but Jimin rolled his eyes. "He said it's fine. Just one more then I'll help with breakfast?"
You sighed, but kissed him nonetheless. You had to cherish the kisses while you could. Jimin laughed when you playfully pushed him away, forcing him to carry eggs and milk from the fridge.
"You've created a monster," Hoseok said from the table, laughing into his coffee. "He'll never leave you alone now."
You smiled and shrugged, though, unsure if you wanted to be left alone anymore.
Later that afternoon, you were in the kitchen, chopping up vegetables and putting together the ingredients that needed to go into the slow cooker for dinner. Namjoon was near you, carefully placing some of your knickknacks onto a decorative shelf above your sink. He was telling you about his most recent trip to Paris, the one where he'd sent you a postcard, and you were trying to convince him that you would enjoy the Louvre.
"I think it's just that abstract stuff," you explained. "I don't get it. I can appreciate the Mona Lisa. Or, I don't know, something by van Gogh?"
"I can work with that," Namjoon laughed. "I'll find something with more concrete subject matter for our next museum trip. Sound good?"
"Sounds excellent," you agreed, smiling at him. You both were quiet for a few minutes, listening to the music playing from your phone. Across the apartment, you could hear Yoongi and Hoseok settling up some shelves. Jin, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook were hiding in a spare bedroom, on a conference call with Producer Bang regarding a song for the upcoming album. When the music ended, you called out to him. "Can you put something else on, Joonie?" He didn't reply. You looked over to see him staring at you, cheeks red and eyes wide. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing," he rushed to say. "It's just – I – you," he shook his head sharply, as if he was trying to clear his head. "You've never called me anything other than Namjoon before."
"Is it okay if I use that name?" You asked carefully, fully aware of the boundaries you two still danced around.
"Yes! I just…I wasn't expecting it."
You nodded. You two stared at each other for a moment before you looked back down at your meal prep.
"Could you put something else on?" You asked again. "My hands are all dirty."
"Sure," Namjoon answered, and you heard him pick up your phone. "It's locked." You told him your passcode as you sliced up a carrot. Namjoon started to read out playlist names as he scrolled through your phone. "Study music…cafe mix 2…songs to piss off Jay," you both chuckled at that one. "Songs to sleep?" You froze and sucked in a breath. Forcing yourself to keep working, you hoped Namjoon wouldn't notice the change in your posture. You should've known better, though, your soulmate was too observant to miss the tightness in your shoulders and the way you focused on the vegetables in front of you. "Magic Shop, Hold Me Tight, Spring Day, Butterfly. These are our songs." You could feel Namjoon's eyes on you, trying to read you as you tried to hide your embarrassment.
"I never meant for you to find that," you said softly. Namjoon just waited, watching as you dumped the remaining food into the slow cooker and washed your hands. You leaned against the counter, arms wrapping around yourself in a hug. Under his sharp stare, you felt unbelievably vulnerable, but vulnerability was something you needed to show. "When I have trouble falling asleep, I put it on. Hearing your voices helps me relax. And, when I close my eyes, it's like we're all together."
"Bicycle is on here?" Namjoon's tone was soft, matching the way you talked, as if the two of you shared a secret. You nodded. "You like my music?"
"Namjoon, I like you ," you said, finally looking up at him. His stare melted from curious to gentle. Taking a few steps closer to you, Namjoon put his hands on your arms. "Hearing your voice is comforting. Being with you is comforting."
"I've read your letters a thousand times," he whispered. You placed a hand over his, encouraging him to continue. "When I'm feeling lonely or I can't sleep, I take them out and read them. You listen to our songs and pretend we're here? I read your letters and pretend you're with me, saying those exact words to me."
You don't know what to say, so you close the gap between your bodies and wrap your arms around Namjoon's torso, hugging him tightly. Namjoon matched your actions, hugging your shoulders and pulling you against his chest. You savored the contact, pressing your cheek into his broad chest. You rarely felt tiny – though you were short, your rounded figure never let you feel small. But cradled in Namjoon's arms, you felt petite and delicate. And you felt thoroughly protected.
"Everything looks so nice," you sighed, taking a slow walk around the apartment and looking at everything the eight of you accomplished in the last two days. You walked into the first spare bedroom, approached the dresser. Jin had given you an odd look at IKEA when you insisted on buying the dressers that matched the bed frames, but he didn't say anything. The rooms came with large closets, but the drawers were essential to your plan. "These are for you guys. You can leave some clothes here, so it's a little easier to travel." You ran your hand over the smooth wood. "Anything else you want to leave too. There's plenty of bathroom space."
"You're okay if we leave stuff here?" Taehyung asked.
"I want you to," you stressed. "This is your home too."
"Then let's unpack!" Jin said, grabbing his suitcase from its place on the floor.
Hoseok, Namjoon and the maknaes rushed to the eldest's call, each going in search of their suitcase. You left with a giggle, wanting to go check on the dinner. Yoongi followed you into the kitchen, avoiding his six friends as they shouted and argued about who got what drawer in which room. While you stirred the slow cooker, you watched Yoongi out of the corner of your eye. He leaned against the counter, quietly watching you work, expression unreadable.
"Are you going to go pick a drawer?" You asked finally.
"Do you really mean it?" He asked, avoiding your question. "You want this to be a home?" You nodded. "And what about Seoul?"
"I want to be there," you answered. You placed your hand over his, trying to comfort him. "I want to be in Seoul with you guys, but –"
"Then why don't you just come back with us?" Yoongi's voice was hard and his eyes sharp. You didn't move away though, you recognized this reaction – he was pissed, yes, but at the situation, not at you.
"I can't, not yet. School is remote, but I need to work. I have –"
"Fuck all of that!" He cried. Maybe you were wrong: maybe he was pissed at you. Yoongi moved from your touch, running his hands through his hair and trying to collect himself. He looked at you, eyes wild and desperate. "I am treading water right now. My heart is screaming out for you, crying to be complete. And I don't know how much longer I can do the separation. I don't know whether I should chain myself to your apartment so I don't have to leave, drag you to Seoul myself, or drop to my knees and beg you to have mercy on my tortured soul." At this point, Yoongi's voice was loud enough to draw the others into the kitchen. They watched from afar, though, seemingly unsure whether they should intervene or let the argument play out. Yoongi flung his hand out to gesture at them. "You have seven men – seven soulmates – willing to move mountains for you. Why won't you let us?"
"Because I can move them myself."
"Then why won't you?"
During your childhood, you'd become well accustomed to the way words could hurt as much as a slap or a kick. And Yoongi's words shook you because, deep down, you knew they were true. You were still holding back, hesitation and fear in the dark recesses of your mind telling you to protect yourself. Tears pricked your eyes.
"I need a minute," you mumbled.
Yoongi said your name, but you walked past him and the others. Walking through your new bedroom, you headed to the attached bathroom and slid down to the floor. Pulling your knees to your chest, you laid your head down and let the tears flow. You weren't alone for more than a minute before there was a knock on the door, Yoongi calling your name.
"It's open," you said.
Your soulmate entered and quickly took a seat on the floor next to you. You leaned against him, and Yoongi wrapped his arm around you.
"I'm sorry," Yoongi started. "I never meant to make you cry."
"Don't apologize. You're right. If I wasn't still afraid, then I could be in Seoul already. I could've split my time more evenly." Yoongi didn't respond, he just tightened his hold on you and sighed. You turned your face to look up at him. "I have trouble accepting help."
Though you were trying to be serious, your statement made Yoongi laugh.
"We figured that out months ago."
You rested your head back on his shoulder and pressed against his side. Yoongi tightened his arms, pulling you as close as he could.
"Have you ever considered talking to someone about this?" He asked. "I know you mentioned therapy in college. Have you thought about going back?" He paused, pressing a kiss to the top of your hair. "I know it can be tough to find one you feel comfortable with and then to hash through everything again. But it could be helpful?"
"I hadn't given it thought," you mumbled, a little embarrassed that the idea never crossed your mind. While you definitely had problems, you were a better person now because of the intensive therapy you'd started your first semester of college. Every negative trait the guys had picked up on – avoidance, anxiety, hyper-independence – had all been tempered after four years of work. "Up until August, until meeting you guys, I thought I was okay. But I'm clearly not."
"I think you just need to reevaluate. Maybe you are okay with the stuff you talked about back then. But I doubt you talked about having seven soulmates." Yoongi took your hand in his. "And that could be helpful to talk through, especially when soulmates are such a source of trauma for you."
You nodded. Yoongi's insight was not just helpful, but correct. You had spent the four years of college therapy working through and healing simply on the abuse you'd been subjected to as a child, not how it skewed your views and feelings toward any potential soulmates.
"You're magnificent, Yoongi," you said quietly. You could feel him smile as he pressed his face close to yours. Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you revelled in his gummy smile. "But we should go back to the others now."
You rose from the floor and grabbed his hands, playfully tugging him up. But, as you reached for the door, Yoongi pulled you back and turned you around to face him.
"Before we go, one thing?" You nodded, encouraging him to continue. Yoongi took a few steps closer to you. The hand that wasn't holding yours reached up to play with your hair. "Can I kiss you?"
You nodded. Yoongi didn't move for your lips immediately, first placing a hand on your waist. He never dropped the hand he held though, first bringing it up to his mouth and pressing his lips softly to each knuckle. You stepped closer to him, linking your fingers through the belt loops on his jeans and trying to pull him as near to you as possible. Yoongi placed the hand he held around his neck before moving to kiss your cheeks, your forehead. His lips were impossibly soft, ghosting over your skin with just enough pressure to assure you that the kisses were real. You weren't sure if he was teasing you or trying to build tension, but you wanted him to kiss you – properly.
"Yoongi," you whispered as he peppered kisses down the side of your face, "please."
At your gentle plea, Yoongi pressed a final kiss to your lips. His lips were slow and intentional, as if he was trying, with his kiss, to convince you to let him in and love him. As you kissed him back, you twisted your hand through his long hair, loving the way it curled around your fingers. Yoongi moved his hands to your waist and you grabbed onto his loose t-shirt, pulling him closer. Your soulmate matched your desire, holding you tightly to him. Over your shirt, his thumbs traced circles over your plush hips. You were the first to pull away, heart racing as you stared up at Yoongi. His cheeks were slightly flushed. His tongue darted out and swept over his bottom lip. He looked utterly perfect like this, and you wanted nothing more than to taste his lips again. You gently tugged on the back of his neck, pulling him down for another kiss. His lips met yours with the same deliberate pace as he had on the first kiss.
A knock on the door startled you away from him. Yoongi glared at the door, hands still gripping your hips.
"Hyung? Noona?" Jungkook called through the door. Yoongi's glare softened at the sound of his maknae's voice. "Are you two okay?"
"We're fine," Yoongi called out. He leaned down, eyes already closed, ready to kiss you again.
"Can I come in?"
This time, Yoongi let out a soft groan. While neither of you wanted to leave the small bubble you'd created in the bathroom, you realized you needed to leave.
"We're coming out now!" You called to Jungkook. But, before he could move away, you cupped Yoongi's cheek and brought his face close to yours again. "Can we sleep together tonight?" You whispered quickly. Yoongi smiled and pecked your cheek. Satisfied, you let go of him, ready to go see the rest of your soulmates.
Later that night, after dinner had been finished and the dishes washed and put away, the eight of you settled down for a movie. After several rounds of rock-paper-scissor, you won the right to choose what you all watched. And now, seven of the biggest, hottest pop stars in the world were scattered across your living room furniture and floor watching When Harry Met Sally . It’d been a hard sell despite your win, most of the guys lightly protesting since the last movie you all watched together was also a romance. But, between your emphasis on the comedy part of rom-com and Namjoon’s insistence that they play by the rules, your favorite movie was now playing. You were laying on the floor with Jungkook, head resting on his chest with his legs on either side of you. Not too far away, Jin was also sitting on the floor, his hand resting on your calf. Behind you, Jimin was sandwiched between Yoongi and Hoseok on the couch, with Tae and Namjoon reclined on your old loveseat. Every so often, you’d peer around to see how they were enjoying the movie and, as Meg Ryan started to breathe heavily, you took a subtle glance around. On screen, Billy Crystal asked through a mouthful of food if she was all right, but Meg Ryan just continued to moan.
“No, no,” Jin whispered, quickly realizing what was going on in the movie.
As Meg Ryan faked an orgasm in the middle of the crowded diner, you broke out laughing. You heard several of the others – Jimin, Tae, and Hoseok, in particular – laugh loudly also. Glancing back at Jin, you noticed how bright red his face was as he withdrew his hand from your leg and stared at the floor. Unable to help it, you collapsed back on Jungkook’s chest, laughing with your whole body. Jin, always focused on being proper and well mannered, reacted about as well to the scene as you had predicted. Finally, you glanced at your youngest soulmate’s face. Jungkook could quickly shift from shy and sweet to playfully flirtatious, and you were curious about how he found the joke. His face was brightly flushed, though, his eyes wide as he chewed nervously on his bottom lip.
“You okay?” You asked him. He nodded just once, laying as still as possible beneath you. Feeling emboldened by all the other kisses you received today, you reached up and stroked his cheek. “You’re so cute when you blush, Kookie.”
Apparently, that wasn’t what Jungkook wanted to hear. Quickly but gently, Jungkook moved you off of him and onto the floor. Before you could realize what was happening, you watched him retreat down the hall and close a door loudly. The others watched, each at a different level of amusement, from Yoongi who just smirked to Jimin who was hysterical with laughter.
“Will someone tell me what just happened,” you asked, sitting up and staring at them.
“I’m sure if you ask, JK will tell you what’s up ,” Jimin said, popping the final syllable.
Oh fuck. Everything made sense after Jimin’s joke – the way you’d been laying over him, how your laughter shook your body. You in no way intended to turn Jungkook on, having gone no further with the maknae than sweet cheek kisses and occasional cuddles.
“Oooh Jungkookie,” Jimin crooned, his voice high pitched to imitate yours. He threw himself dramatically onto Yoongi, pinching the elder’s cheeks. “You're just so cute when you blush, Jungkookie!”
“ Hajima! ” Yoongi groaned, shoving the younger man off him. “Leave them alone.”
“Should I go talk to him?” You asked, glancing down the hall where Jungkook had gone to hide.
“No,” Namjoon said, laughing a little. “If you go after him now, he will never leave that room.”
“Knowing him, he’d prefer you act like this never happened,” Hoseok offered.
They knew Jungkook best, literally helped raise him through his youth and teenage years, so you stayed where you sat. In the last decade or so of living together, you were sure that they’d had more than enough experience being around each other’s awkward boners. And, at that thought, you were feeling your face heat up again.
“He’s fine,” Jin said, nudging your shoulder. “Kook just gets very embarrassed in these situations.”
“Like you're one to talk, hyung,” Taehyung said, finally jumping into the conversation.
“I don’t get embarrassed,” Jin said, trying to defend himself. “I get flustered.”
“Pretty sure those are the same,” Yoongi said.
“They literally are,” you agreed.
“No difference,” Namjoon echoed, laughing.
“The difference is that I am a gentleman while Jungkook is a baby.”
“I am not a baby, hyung,” Jungkook said as he walked into the room. He sat on the floor next to Namjoon’s legs and pulled his knees to his chest. Several of your other soulmates laughed at his insistence, while Namjoon patted his shoulder. Despite his assertion, the maknae pouted. “I’m not!”
With a few more jokes at each other's expense, your soulmates calmed down, settling back comfortably in their seats to finish the movie. You remained with Jin on the floor in front of the couch. As both your blushes faded, Jin reached out and took your hand, smiling at you. Yes, you’d have to find a way to get to Seoul faster.
A/N: If you haven't seen When Harry Met Sally before, please give it a watch.
I'm also hoping that just hurling chapters at you will help the writer's block for my next story. Because the only thing I feel compelled to write is for a totally different fandom...
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: I'm very excited for y'all to read about these idiots being in a room together again.
Chapter 21 -- You Won't be an Ocean Away, You'll Only be a Moment Away
Your move doesn't go as planned, but you're honestly not complaining.
You woke up early on March 15th. General nerves surrounding the move combined with the anticipation of seeing your seven soulmates made sleep even more difficult than usual. So, by the time you were standing in line to pick up your rental truck at 8:22 am, you’d already cleaned your entire apartment and were on your third coffee of the day. You watched the clock moving slowly, wanting to be back at your apartment before they showed up. They’d texted when they landed, a little after 8am, and promised to text when they picked up the cars and were leaving. You hadn’t heard anything by the time you approached the counter to talk to the man behind the counter. Luckily, the process was quick, him giving you the keys after a bored restatement of the rules you’d read when reserving the truck online. When you climbed into the cab, you felt your phone buzz.
You laughed before putting your phone away and driving back. As you surveyed the boxes and items scattered around, you mentally planned how this would go. Luckily, there weren’t too many large items you needed to move out of this apartment, just your bed, dresser, bookshelf, and the love seat. The half broken shelving unit was already thrown out. Your small kitchen table had been donated to Goodwill yesterday, a new one ordered from Ikea that could fit everyone.
Namjoon [8:45am]: We’ve got the cars! The GPS is saying we’re 20 minutes away.
You [8:46am]: Make sure you guys drive safe! The drivers here are assholes. I’d rather you take longer and be safe.
Namjoon [8:47am]: I told them, but Yoongi said he’ll drive however he wants to. So take that as you will.
A quick set of loud knocks interrupted your thinking and you rushed to your door. As you yanked it open, Taehyung swept forward, grabbing you into his arms. You gasped, surprised at his actions, but were silenced when he pressed his lips to yours. Everything about him felt desperate, from the hungry way his lips moved to the way he tightened his arms around your waist. And you were just as desperate, tangling your fingers in his shirt and pulling yourself closer.
"I've wanted to do this since my birthday," he murmured, lips barely off yours. "Is this okay?"
You reached up to kiss him, letting the sensation of your lips against his answer his question. Maybe later, when your lips weren't locked, you'd tell him that you wanted to kiss him that night too, but right now, all you cared about was kissing him.
"That's why you ditched us?"
You pulled away from Tae, seeing your six other soulmates standing in your door, their eyes focused on how your body was pressed against Tae's. Feeling your cheeks heat up, you ducked your head, embarrassed to be caught in such an intimate moment by the others. Seeming to sense your shyness, Taehyung let you go before addressing the others.
"I told you I was going to see her," he said. "You guys chose to wait down there for Hobi's car. I take no responsibility."
The others grumbled and you tried to collect yourself. There was no time to be shy now – you only had them for a few days and you needed to make the most of it.
"I'm so glad you guys are here," you said.
As they filed into your soon-to-be former apartment, you hugged each one tightly. Jimin was the first through the door.
"Can't believe TaeTae beat me to it," he whispered in your ear, before kissing your cheek. He lingered, carefully inspecting you before you were snagged out of his arms and picked up.
"I missed you so much, Noona," Jungkook whispered, his voice strained as he clung to you. You wrapped your arms around him, gently stroking his back and shoulders. You knew that Jungkook had struggled with the separation, and you wanted him to feel better.
"I missed you too, Kookie," you told him and kissed his cheek. "But we're together now. We've got some time."
He drew back from you, nodding as if to reassure himself. As he let go of you and went to inspect your boxes with Jimin and Taehyung, you swore you heard him sniffle. You saw Yoongi move out of the corner of your eye and you pulled him into you. He seemed to relax once your arms were around each other, sighing deeply as he leaned his forehead against yours. He didn't say anything, just stared at you for a few more moments before kissing your forehead and letting you go. You were barely out of his arms when you felt Hoseok wrap you into an embrace. He cupped your chin, gently angling it so that you met his eyes. They were intense, a look behind his sparkling eyes that you'd never seen before.
"I've missed my soulmate," he said, voice low. He leaned in to kiss your cheek. If you moved your head just a little, his lips would've met yours. And, while you wanted to kiss him, you wanted your first kiss to be private. So you settled on kissing his cheek. With a final squeeze, you let each other go.
You turned to the door, Namjoon and Jin still waiting. Namjoon shifted uncomfortably, and Jin gently shoved his shoulder. Will you embrace me like you do the others, Namjoon had written. Have these past months been enough for us? Clearly, Namjoon was leaving the proverbial ball in your court; he'd been so vulnerable in your letters that you anticipated he was too nervous to take those steps. So you took them for him, wrapping your arms around his broad frame and bringing him close to you. Not missing a beat, Namjoon embraced you, his arms strong as they twisted around your waist. He hid his face in the crook between your neck and shoulder, and you could feel him take a deep breath, as if he were trying to calm himself. You ran your fingers through his hair, trying to help settle him and yourself, as your heart had begun racing the moment you touched him. After a few moments, he pulled back, standing to his full height and gave you a bright smile, dimples and all.
"It's so good to see you again," you told him.
"It's good to see you too," he said.
With a final squeeze, Namjoon let you go and went to join the others in the apartment. Jin was next to you within a moment, drawing you into a hug. You rested your head against his chest and watched the other six inspect boxes and test your furniture out for weight. Jin shifted, cupping your face in his hand and leaning down to place a chaste kiss on your lips. Though it'd been just a month without him, you wanted more, kissing him again.
"Really, hyung?" Yoongi said, giving the two of you an exasperated. "I expected that from Taehyung, but not you."
"Aish," Jin groaned, rolling his eyes. "I have more decorum than Tae."
You laughed and dragged him into your apartment, glad to hear their banter again. They all looked at you, waiting for your instructions. You pointed at your disassembled bed.
"That goes first."
"Are you sure you guys are okay?" You stood at the entrance of one of the spare bedrooms, watching Namjoon and Jungkook struggle to put a bed frame together. They'd been at it for almost half an hour, with nothing but several pinched fingers to show. You were putting clothes away in your room when a loud string of curses – English and Korean – drew you to them. "I could try to help?"
"Nah, it's okay," Namjoon shrugged, placing the piece of frame he was holding onto the floor. "I'm gonna grab Yoongi, though. He's good at this stuff."
You smiled at each other as he left the room, then turned your attention to Jungkook. He was glaring at the bed frame as if he could scare it into working. He grabbed the headboard.
"You need help?"
"I'm okay," he said, smiling as he lifted and moved it with relative ease.
You watched, eyes drawn to the way his biceps flexed and moved as he worked. The swell of his muscles and the tattoos covering his arm were drastically contrasted with the adorable pout on his lips as he tried to solve the problem and the comically tiny ponytail he'd pulled his hair into. You leaned against the doorframe, promising yourself that you would go back to working as soon as Yoongi arrived. Until then, you'd just watch Jungkook.
"Everything okay, Noona?" Jungkook asked, glancing up from the parts he was inspecting.
"Yeah. Just making sure you don't get hurt."
"That's what you're calling it?" Yoongi chuckled. He placed a hand on your back as he looked into the room. You blushed a little, but didn't think either man was paying you too much attention. Yoongi retracted his hand and went to Jungkook's side, sighing. "I don't know why I let you two do this. Everything's a mess."
You laughed as Jungkook whined at his hyung's observation. Keeping your promise to yourself, you took one final look at your two soulmates and went to go check on the others. But, before you could walk away, you heard Jungkook call your name.
"Can we get food soon?" He asked, his doe eyes begging. "I'm hungry."
"How's pizza sound?" You suggested. "It's a pretty traditional moving day food in America."
"Can we get one with meat on it?" Yoongi asked, looking up from the pile of screws he was sorting through.
"I can get one called Meat Lovers," you said and watched as he smiled. "I'll see what the others want and order."
You went to the second spare bedroom, where Hoseok and Taehyung were having significantly more success, the bedframe already together and bedsheets being put on. They were talking softly back and forth in Korean, focused on each other and their task. You knocked to alert them to your presence, greeting them with a smile.
"I'm ordering pizza. Do you guys have any requests?"
"Can I request a kiss?" Taehyung asked, smirking.
"I mean, I can request it, but no guarantee that the delivery guy will kiss you." You said, giggling as his face fell.
"That's not what–"
"I'd like to request something spicy," Hoseok cut Tae off and gently shoved him.
"I can order something spicy," you said. Before you left, you caught Hoseok's glance. He was staring at you intently, as though he'd never seen you before and was trying to figure you out. He didn't glance away when you met his eyes. "Everything okay, Hoseokie?"
"Perfect," he said evenly, still staring at you.
You nodded but didn't move, simply taking in the sharp angles of his face, the way his lips were curled into a small smile. Finally, Taehyung prodded Hoseok, asking for his hyung's help. Turning away, you went into the common area to find your final three soulmates. Despite the problems the first spare bedroom was having, it was clear that this was where your concern should have been. Jin was already in a frenzy, standing in front of your open fridge, lecturing Jimin on how to properly organize a fridge. Namjoon stood awkwardly, holding a box filled with wrapped up plates and glasses.
"They were like this when I got here," he said.
You exchanged a glance with him before approaching the fridge and placing a hand on Jin and Jimin's backs.
"Why are you guys fighting in my fridge?" You asked.
"Jimin mixed fruits and vegetables together," Jin explained, sounding offended. "And some of this stuff shouldn't even be in the fridge!"
"Some things are in packages and some aren't," Jimin explained. Motioning to a drawer that had bagged spinach, blueberries, and potatoes in it. "Why let the loose stuff get dirty from the packaging?"
"That's not how it works, Jimin," Jin groaned.
"How about you two swap?" You suggested, laughing at their theatrics. "Jin can organize the fridge, Jimin can put my dishes away." The pair nodded, Jin sighing dramatically when Jimin stepped away from the fridge and he was free to work. "But I'm going to order pizza. Do you guys want anything specific?". They all shook their heads. Happy that this arrangement was already proving less combative, you put your hand on Namjoon's arm. He looked at you, eyebrows quirked. "I've got something else I was hoping you could set up for me?"
"Of course," he said, putting down the box he had and following after you.
You led him into the living room portion of the apartment. Yoongi was able to set up your television, but otherwise it was still in shambles, boxes of books, pictures, and small knick knacks all on the floor. You opened the boxes to him, showing him everything.
"I was hoping you could set all this up," you said. "You have a good eye for aesthetics, so I figured you'd be able to make all my decorations look good." You motioned to another box. "Everything you need to hang things should be in there."
Namjoon smiled at you and knelt down, carefully searching through the boxes. He pulled out a book and looked at you.
"Your books too?"
You nodded and watched as his smile widened. God, you loved his dimples. He dove into the other boxes, figuring out what was in his realm of responsibility and mumbling to himself about potential plans. Glad that you had asked him to do this, you sat on your new couch and pulled your phone out, ready to order pizzas. Before you could finish typing in the website, though, your doorbell rang. Namjoon looked up from his boxes.
"Do you want me to get that?"
"No, I will. It's probably a neighbor, we've been kind of loud."
"Hi," you started, opening the door just enough for you to see through. Whoever was here, you wanted to minimize their chances of seeing the guys. "Can I – Ally?"
Standing in the hallway, with the baby carrier in one hand and a small grocery bag in the other, was your best friend. Behind her, Jay had a diaper bag slung over his shoulder and several pizza boxes balanced in his hands.
"We come bearing food!" She announced loudly, then dropped her voice to a whisper. "And to meet the soulmates. It can't violate the NDA if we accidentally meet them."
You had told Ally that your soulmates were coming to help you move weeks ago when she explained, understandably, that she and Jay wouldn't be able to help. You'd meant the information to assuage her worries about you moving alone, not to be used to spy on you. Before you could figure out what to do, you felt a hand press against your back.
"Is the pizza already here?" Jungkook asked, peering through the door. When he saw Ally, Jay, and Emmy, he glanced at you, nervous.
"The pizza is here," Jay announced, trying to show off the boxes he held while still weighed down by the diaper bag.
"Yeah, pizza's here," Ally repeated, eyes focused on you.
Despite the anxiety that twisted in your stomach, you opened the door. You didn't want to turn Ally and Jay away, you never had before, but you didn't know how the next few minutes were going to play out. All your soulmates had gathered, curious about who was at the door. Luckily Jungkook's manners overpowered his nerves as took the pizzas from Jay's arms and the bag from Ally. Ally's eyes went wide as she took in the seven men. She recognized them immediately. Your secret was over.
"It's great to meet you guys," Jay said, the first to speak. He had no clue who they were, aside from being your soulmates. To him, they were just seven ordinary guys. "I'm Jay. This is Ally."
Namjoon was the first to recover, standing and introducing himself. He shook Jay's hand when it was offered and politely smiled at Ally. Though you heard the others introduce themselves, you weren't paying attention. Instead, you were focused on the hole Ally was glaring into the side of your head. The eight guys, either willfully or blissfully ignorant of what was going on between you two, started clearing space in your kitchen to eat.
"Before we eat, I'd love to check Emmy's diaper," Ally said, eyes still staring at you. "Can you show me to the bathroom?'
"Yeah, definitely," you said quickly.
You grabbed the diaper bag from Jay, who glanced from his sleeping infant to his wife suspiciously, and led Ally to the large bathroom linked to your bedroom. There was a large counter in there so, should she actually want to check the diaper, she'd have space. Once you were both inside, Ally closed the door behind you and locked it.
"What the actual fuck?" she asked, looking at you. "Why is BTS standing in your apartment, claiming to be your soulmates?" Though she clearly knew the answer, she wanted to hear it from you.
"Because they are," you said, sitting on the edge of your bathtub. "Those are my soulmates."
She stared at you in shock, then sat down on your toilet. "Is that what the NDA is for?"
"Yeah. You guys are the first to know outside of a few people at their work. Like I said, not even their families know I exist yet."
"Now I feel like an ass," Ally sighed.
"No, no. They're my soulmates and you know the situation. You know my past. You wanted to check them out for yourselves, just like any best friend would." You hugged her tightly. "But you and Jay can't say a word to anyone until their managers figure out when and how they'll make it public."
"It's been months," Ally said. "Any clue when an announcement will be made?"
"Nope. I'm just predicting that their families are going to be pissed when it's public if they aren’t told prior to the announcement."
"At you?"
"I don't think so. Definitely at management. Possibly at them. Some of the guys are really close with their families."
"Babe, are you okay in there? Do you need help?" Jay asked, lightly knocking on the bathroom.
Ally unlocked the door, handing him the baby carrier as she picked up the untouched diaper bag. The three of you started walking out, but Ally suddenly grabbed your shoulder.
"Kevin!" She hissed. You looked at her, eyebrows raised. "Kevin Nicholas Johnson. KNJ. Kim Namjoon?" You nodded. "Oh my god, Kim Namjoon writes you love letters!"
"They're not love letters," you hissed.
"He sent you a postcard from Paris. You two have long, drawn out written correspondence. Love letters."
"They're not," you pleaded, feeling yourself start to blush. You felt a hand on your shoulder and turned to see Yoongi standing next to you. "Hey?"
"Not to rush, but Kook might die if he doesn't eat soon," he explained, smiling his gummy grin at you. Though you'd told them multiple times that they didn't have to wait for you to eat, they still preferred to hold off. "Plus, we'd like to get to know Ally and Jay better."
"You can start eating!" You called into the kitchen, and heard a soft cheer from Jungkook. You patted Yoongi's arm. "We'll be right out."
Yoongi nodded and leaned down to press a kiss to your temple, before walking back to the table. You glanced at Ally and Jay, who were fascinated by the recent display.
"Oh my god," she mouthed at you.
You ignored her, going to the kitchen. While meals with your seven soulmates were typically rowdy affairs, the addition of your best friend and her soulmate made the dinner even more hectic. Ally and Jay tried to connect the bits of truth that you'd been able to tell them to what actually happened.
“Wait! So you flew all the way to Seoul on your first flight?" Jay gasped when he realized where you'd actually gone in December.
"Everything was fine, though," Hoseok tried to reassure him.
"I mean, I cried to Namjoon at the gate. It was a little rough," you laughed. Namjoon laughed with you. Looking back, it was a good memory for the two of you. Several of your soulmates gasped, apparently clueless about your pre-flight panic attack. Hoseok groaned and you reached out to grab his hand, squeezing it tightly. "It's okay! Namjoon called me, everything was fine."
"We talked for a while," Namjoon said, trying to support your assertion. "By the time you got on the flight, you were pretty calm."
You nodded, noticing a knowing glance Yoongi and Jimin shared, but unsure of the meaning behind it. Maybe you'd get a chance to ask them later.
But one topic rolled into the next, and soon Ally and Jay were sharing some of your more embarrassing stories, ones that you typically didn't tell on your own. You joined in, grateful that your best friend was able to highlight your sillier, more fun side, which you knew you were slow to reveal.
"She was dead asleep," Ally stressed, "drooling, snoring, asleep."
"You gotta put this in context," you interrupted Ally. "I was exhausted! I was getting over the flu, had three papers and an exam that week. Please tell the whole story."
"That's true," Ally continued, "but you were passed out. I tried waking you up three times. And she would've gotten away with it if she hadn't fallen out of her chair!"
"No way," Taehyung laughed.
"She leaned too far forward and fell flat on her face. The professor was freaking out. She thought she fainted."
"What did she do?" Jimin asked.
"She panicked," you said. "I woke up so confused and disoriented and Ally goes –"
"I don't know, Professor Hart, she just hit the floor!" Ally and you cried together, laughing at the old inside joke.
"The poor woman calls campus EMS because Ally refuses to admit that I was sleeping. And she tried asking what I remembered from class, and all I could say was 'I don't know,' because I honestly didn't, but it made things seem worse. I didn't admit I fell out of my chair sleeping until the EMTs got me out of the classroom. They had a good laugh at it and let me go home."
"Did she ever find out?" Jin asked.
"Yes. Hart ended up becoming my faculty advisor for my major. I took three more classes with her. After our graduation ceremony, I came clean. She thought it was hilarious."
Laughter filled the room, and you realized that you could get used to dinners like this. Your favorite people sitting around a table, plenty of food and laughter to go around. Though you never expected anything different, you were glad to see the guys warmly bring Ally and Jay into every conversation. Finally, when the final pizza slice was eaten, Yoongi turned to Jay.
"How are you with building things?" Your soulmate asked.
"I'm good," Jay answered. "My brother and I built the deck on my house."
"Great. One bed frame is giving me trouble and I could use some actual help."
"Hyung!" Jungkook whined.
"You're great at a lot of things, Jungkook, but not this," Yoongi explained. After Jay put his infant into her carrier, they went off to the bedroom.
The others started to rise. Jin and Jimin returned to sorting out your kitchen, Jungkook following to see if he could help. Namjoon grabbed Hoseok, asking for help putting the decorations around. Taehyung held back though, watching silently as Ally and you got up.
"Everything okay, Tae?" You asked, placing a hand on his arm. He nodded, his hand coming up to cover yours. But you followed his gaze as he glanced at Emmy's carrier and realized why he hung back. "Go ahead, ask."
"Could I hold her, please?" He asked, the picture of innocence as he stared at Ally with wide, pleading eyes.
"Oh, sure," Ally said. You watched silently as Ally scooped Emmy from her carrier and helped set the baby into Taehyung's waiting arms. "It's just important that you support her head." Taehyung nodded and thanked Ally. "Of course. She loves being held, but if she starts to get fussy, just call me or Jay." He nodded again, already focused on the swaddle in his arms.
"She's adorable," he whispered, clearly afraid to startle her.
"She is," your best friend gushed.
As you watched Tae smile his boxy grin down at Emmy, your heart swelled. You didn't have a strong maternal instinct. While you were great with school aged kids and loved Emmy, nothing in you screamed out to be a mother. And, while you didn't think this feeling was the desire to have a child, you couldn't help but stare at your soulmate as he cooed and smiled at the infant. His eyes sparkling, long curls dangling as he leaned down to look at her. His arms, lean but defined, as he held her safely. Taehyung was magical. The desire to pull him into another kiss was almost overwhelming, but you settled on gently squeezing his shoulder. He beamed at you before turning back to Emmy.
Ally followed you back to your room. She sat on the bed, unpacking and handing you clothes as you decided where to put them.
"They adore you," Ally said.
The way she spoke made it seem like a fact, not an accusation or gossip, but, still, you shied away, shrugging. Yes, you had kissed Jin and Taehyung. Yes, Hoseok and you were now mutually using the term soulmate. But saying it to someone else, someone outside your little group of eight, seemed daunting. As if, once you admitted to Ally, all your feelings and desires would become real. Rather than words whispered in the dark of night, or kisses stolen in private, saying the words to Ally would fully actualize what you'd been feeling since you left Seoul.
"And I think you like them too," she continued after letting you think for a few moments. "The glances, the soft, frequent touches, the way you smile at them. I've never seen you like this with anybody before."
Both of you had stopped working, Ally sitting on your bed, you leaning against the wall and hugging a folded sweater to you. You weren't sure why you were so afraid to admit it. Through your many years of friendship, Ally had more than proven that she would stand by you no matter what. And, despite their recent appearance into your life, you believed the seven men would stay too.
"That's because I haven't," you said finally, meeting Ally's eyes. "This is totally different. We're soulmates."
After Ally and Jay left, the exhaustion for your soulmates set in. The long flight combined with hours of moving left the seven men completely worn out. You'd been able to convince each to shower before they collapsed, now laying in various areas in your new living room. Half of them had fallen asleep while you were in your own shower. Luckily, Jimin and Taehyung had the foresight to pull out the sleeper couch before sitting, and subsequently passing out, on it. You pulled a spare blanket out of one of the boxes that hadn't been unpacked yet and laid it over them. Two down, five to go.
"You guys are exhausted," you said as you approached Namjoon and Jin, both half asleep. Namjoon had a book he'd taken from a box lying on his lap, open but unread.
"We're fine," Jin mumbled, shaking his head in protest.
"Go to bed," you said. "We can hang out tomorrow."
"C'mon," Hoseok said, now next to you. He pulled on his friends' arms, trying to move them off the couch. Though he looked thoroughly worn out, he was still fully awake.
Namjoon grumbled, but got up. You took the book from him, intending to put it back, but a touch on your shoulder made you wait. Namjoon glanced down at you, eyes sleepy behind his glasses.
"Good night," he whispered.
He leaned down to hug you. You welcomed the contact, your heart swelling from the few brief moments of touch. He yawned and pulled away. After wishing Hoseok a good night, he stumbled down the hallway to one of the spare bedrooms. With some more pleading, Jin finally stood. You bid him goodnight, raising onto your toes to kiss him softly before he silently followed Namjoon.
"Those two are impossible to wake," Hoseok sighed, looking at Yoongi and Jungkook asleep on the loveseat. "We should just let them stay there."
"No," you told him. "We bought enough beds so that everyone can sleep comfortably. They're getting into a bed."
Hoseok's eyes darkened a bit as he stared at you. "That implies that someone has to share with you."
"I know," you said softly. While you were fine with sharing a bed with them, honestly you welcomed it at this point, you felt flustered by the way Hoseok looked at you. You couldn't decipher the meaning behind it and, nervous, you started to ramble. "Yoongi and I have shared before. We can put him in my bedroom and –"
"Please no," he said, his voice low and pleading. He stepped closer to you, hand cupping your chin so you had to look at him. Now, though, as Hoseok's thumb gently traced your bottom lip, you recognized the look in his eyes: desire. "I want to stay with you tonight. I've missed you, soulmate."
You nodded. You would've given anything to Hoseok at that moment, so long as he kept looking at you like you were the center of his world. So you nodded again, voice caught in your throat and unable to tell him how much you wanted this too. You weren't quite sure how he managed to wake Yoongi and Jungkook, but you saw the two drag themselves down the hallway. You were too caught up in watching Hoseok himself. The sharp contours of his face, the way his hair was drying into waves, the graceful way he moved. His lips as he spoke.
"Let's go to bed," he said, taking your hand and leading you to your room.
It reminded you so much of your first night in Seoul, when Hoseok had gotten you off the couch and brought you to bed. That night, you'd been too afraid to ask him for more. Tonight, though, you weren't afraid.
"This feels a bit like deja vu," you whispered once you closed the door behind you.
"It does," Hoseok chuckled.
He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to him until your chest was pressed against his. His eyes were intense, soaking in how you looked, a bright blush undoubtedly coloring your cheeks. You felt a little lightheaded, maybe from the long day, maybe from the way he looked at you, and you grabbed onto him to try and steady yourself. That didn't help though. You held onto his waist, and the feeling of his toned stomach underneath your hands just made you blush more.
"I thought about kissing you that night."
Your voice was barely a whisper. Though you doubted he would turn you away, you were embarrassed to admit this and ducked your head to hide. You felt Hoseok's hand stroke your cheek, gently bringing your face back up to look at him. He was smiling down at you, the same warm smile that drew you to him on your first date together at the beach. He leaned down, closing the space between you two until you were nearly brushing noses.
"And what are you thinking about now?" He whispered.
He was so close you could barely breathe. You wanted him so badly. Gripping onto his waist a little tighter, you gathered all your bravery.
"I'm thinking about kissing you."
That was all the permission Hoseok needed, closing the hairsbreadth between you two and kissing you. Immediately, your body reacted. Your lips molded to his as you tightened your grip on his waist, trying to get as close to him as possible. Luckily, Hoseok picked up on your desire, gently pushing you back a few steps until you were leaning against the wall. He deepened the kiss then, pressing himself against you when you parted your lips to let him in. You sighed into the kiss, one hand moving up to grip his arm, the other caressing the nape of his neck. Hoseok groaned at the contact. His hands started to wander, running over your hips, the curves of your stomach and waist. When his thumb stroked the side of your breast, you gasped in surprise, fingers tightening on his arm. He repeated the action and you kissed him feverishly.
Suddenly, Hoseok pulled away, yawning widely. This brought you back to reality, and you pulled away from him slightly.
"We should go to bed," you told him.
"I'm fine," he mumbled, pressing kisses along your jaw.
"You're exhausted."
He shook his head, his lips starting to move down your neck. "I want to keep kissing."
"We can kiss later," you said, gently pushing him away. Though he denied it, his eyes were drooping with weariness and he swayed a little on his feet. You led him to your bed, getting in yourself first before trying to pull him in. "And, if we go to bed, I can kiss you goodnight." Hoseok climbed into bed next to you, though you weren't sure whether he was finally admitting he was tired or because he enjoyed your offer. "Then, first thing in the morning, a good morning kiss.
"You mean it?" He asked through another yawn.
"Absolutely." You leaned in and gently kissed his lips. "Good night, Hoseok."
He murmured good night. He pulled your bodies together, his body lining up to every curve of yours and you both drifted to sleep.
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: This chapter has a different set up than this others, but it's near to my heart. I love it so much, I want you to have it early.
Chapter 20 -- Dear Friend
You weren't expecting to get a pen pal, but you're excited nonetheless.
Namjoon, you learned, wrote the most beautiful letters. It made sense, between the amount he read and the way he wrote lyrics, that his prose would be lovely, but you weren't expecting to learn this. When a letter arrived for you roughly a week after you returned from Seoul, you were confused. You were unfamiliar with the initials or the return address, but it was addressed to you and your apartment. Before opening it, you quickly searched for the return address online, your heart soaring when you realized it was from Hybe. Though you didn't know who sent it, you opened it. Inside, another sealed envelope, simply with your name on it, which you ripped open, eager to see what was written. It was dated the day you left Seoul and you glanced immediately at the signature: Namjoon. He addressed you
I know you just left, but several days will have passed by the time you get this, and I want to explain myself.
I'm used to public speaking, and I'm comfortable doing it. Over the years I've become accustomed to speaking for the others when we're traveling internationally. So talking is something that comes naturally for me. But since that first day when our hands met, I've been unable to put my thoughts into words whenever I'm with you. At first, I assumed I was nervous. A million thoughts ran through my head immediately after our first contact, and I realized too late that I said almost nothing helpful or inviting during those first few minutes together. I was painfully cryptic and you probably assumed the worst of me. But after you met with us, after we learned what was truly going on, I thought I was scared. Your hesitation and resentment was palpable around us, and none of us, save Jimin, knew why. So I held back, afraid that I'd say the wrong thing and make you leave us all. I was sure you hated me, but I was willing to suffer since you seemed to become friendly with the others. It wasn't selfless in any means, but utilitarian. The happiness of the six people I love the most outweighed my own heartbreak. It's what a leader does.
But now, after you've been with us all week, after we've spent time talking and we've begun to understand each other, I finally understand why my tongue is always tied around you. Simply, you consume my mind. From our first contact, I haven't stopped thinking about you. Things I want to learn about you. Questions to ask. Stories to tell. Experiences I want to share together. When I'm around you, those thoughts overwhelm me so much that I can barely form a coherent thought. So I beg that you be patient with me, while I try to focus around you.
I wrote and sealed this in a separate envelope before giving it to Seijin. He was the one that mailed it. I wasn't sure if anyone would notice or pay attention to me sending a letter, but I'd rather be cautious. We want to maintain your privacy as long as possible. If you want to write back – or write to any of us – send the letter to Seijin at the address below. It'll get delivered to him at Hybe, and he'll get it to us.
Your friend,
Namjoon
You read through the letter a second time, then a third. You were shocked to find his feelings written out so simply, bearing his heart for you. Quickly, you gathered a notebook and pen and wrote back.
Dear Namjoon,
I wasn't expecting a letter from you, let alone something sent so quickly. But I appreciate it. I know I've tried to explain my behavior, from our first contact til my visit, to apologize for how I acted, but I don't know if I'll be able to fully forgive myself for how I responded. I've spent a lot of time thinking about how the eight of us would be if I was honest from the beginning. And I'm sorry for everything I did that made you nervous or scared about my feelings towards you.
Yes, you were cryptic, but I was an ass. Though, if you were honest about your identity that first day, I might never have answered your following texts. I thought you might've been involved with some shady activities, but Ally was the one who joked that you were a celebrity. I can't wait to see her face when she realizes she was right.
I think about you, too. The seven of you barely leave my thoughts. I've burned my hand while daydreaming at work more times this week than I have during my entire barista career.
Since your tongue is tied, maybe you'll do better writing some of your questions or stories down? I have things I want to ask you as well. We have to make up for lost time, but luckily we have a lot of it between now and March. What do you want to ask? Are you still reading the book I got you? I'd love to know your thoughts. Do you have any recommendations for something to read? I'm going to the library soon and would love to read something you recommend.
Please tell Seijin that I'm grateful he's willing to play mail carrier for us. I look forward to hearing from you.
Your friend,
So you went, letters sent back and forth. Every fourteen days or so, your heart would start to flutter when you checked your mailbox, anticipating a letter from him. They varied in length, some full pages of writing, some just a quick paragraph or two before he handed it off for mailing.
Winter can be tough at the apartment. With seven of us, we tend to get claustrophobic and on each other's nerves more as winter gets worse. When one of us wants to be alone, someone else is guaranteed to be looking for him to bother. Tempers flare a little, but nothing a quick walk can't take care of.
That's why I'm here now, at our spot. Jin and the maknaes were getting too rowdy for me today. With Hoseok and Yoongi both out of town and visiting family, I figured it made more sense to remove myself than try and calm them down. I wish you could see the view of the city right now, covered in snow and lit up bright. The memory of us sitting here together, hands just touching, is overwhelming. I wish you could be sitting with me now.
Your friend,
Namjoon
And, for every letter he sent, you sent one back.
Dear Namjoon,
If winters are claustrophobic for you, then mine are exceedingly deserted. While I see my coworkers and students daily, my apartment is always quiet. Ally and Jay haven’t started traveling much with their baby, so I’m the only one ever here. There's a blizzard raging outside, so even the streets are quiet. I would gladly welcome some extra rowdiness in my life right now.
Or, if it were possible, I’d let you visit and get some peace and quiet here. It would be nice to sit together again. You could work on your music while I work on grad school applications. Or we could read together. I don’t have a spot as beautiful as the bench you took me to, but I think you’d like the walking trail by the river. They have bicycles for rent, too. Maybe we could go there together the next time you visit?
Also, how is your song going? You said I could hear it when it was done, and I’m trying to be patient. But I’d love to hear it when you're ready.
Your friend,
Despite the letters back and forth, Namjoon and you kept other forms of communication open. You would speak on the phone once a week, and text throughout your days. But something about holding his letters in your hands moved you. The letters were a secret you two shared, never discussed in front of the others, or even mentioned on your calls. With the pen and paper, you two found it easier to be open with each other.
I was hoping you wouldn’t ask about my song, honestly. I want to keep it a surprise, but I’ll try to explain what I can without spoiling it. Originally, there was the song that you know about, the one I worked on while you were visiting. It’s grown, though, and it seems like everyday I wake up with more inspiration or more feelings I have to get into lyrics. So there’s a second part now. I don’t know if there will be a third, but I’m focusing on part two now, when I’m not working on my regular work or helping others with writing and producing. The others are writing a lot more recently too, and my attention has been more divided than usual. I know that explanation isn't much, but I want you to be surprised when you first hear it. Please be patient with me.
How have you been sleeping? I know you struggled while you were here, but I was afraid to ask if that was due to the travel and being somewhere unfamiliar, or for other reasons. Would you have confided in me the reason if I asked back then? Can I ask that trust of you? I’ve been sleeping terribly though. I lie awake at night, hoping that when I get up, you'll be making coffee in our kitchen and I can steal you away for a day, just us. It’s snowing as I write as well, but, if you were here, I’d still like to go out with you. There’s a nearby cafe that makes the best mochas I’ve ever had. I’d love to buy you one. Maybe when you come in June?
Your friend,
Namjoon
“So when am I going to get to meet them?” Ally complained as you two walked into your apartment building.
Emmy was safe and warm with Jay at their home, but he had wanted Ally to get some time to relax. So, after the manicure appointments he arranged, the two of you were heading to your apartment for a movie, snacks, and catching up.
“It’s complicated,” you said, shrugging. You weren’t sure how to explain that she couldn’t meet them yet. Hybe management hadn’t planned to reveal your existence yet, and you were fine with that. But that meant that everyone outside the dozen or so people who already knew about your soulmates had to remain in the dark. Your soulmates’ families, your friends.
“No, what’s complicated is how I felt learning that one of them visited you and you didn’t let me meet him,” she glared at you. Ally had spewed a few choice words at you when you disclosed that Jin had been over a few days earlier.
“If I explain what I can, will you just let it be?” You asked, grabbing your mail and heading up the stairs. She nodded, watching you unlock the door. “I am legally bound not to tell you any identifying details about them. I’ve literally signed an NDA.”
“Why?”
“It has to do with their jobs,” you sighed. “They had to sign them too, though. So their families have no clue what’s been going on either. You’re not the only one being kept in the dark.”
Ally’s face sunk, and she settled on the love seat. “That sucks. Why do you all have to be so secretive?”
“All I can really say is that it has to do with their jobs.” You were quiet for a moment, flipping through your mail. Sandwiched between the sales paper for your grocery store and an ad for cable television, was a postcard. A beautiful picture of the Louvre on its front. “Oh my god,” you gasped, flipping it over to find Namjoon’s angular scrawlings on the back.
I’m sure your letter will be waiting for me when I get home, but I couldn’t resist writing while I was here. Did you know the Louvre has 35,000 pieces of art in it? If a person takes just 30 seconds to look at each work, it’d take them nearly 200 days to see everything. I wonder, if we spent those days here, if we’d be able to find a piece you like? – KNJ
It was brief, even his signature in secret, but the few sentences made you blush. His speculation, days upon days in an art museum together, was as close to romance as the two of you treaded. But what you wouldn't do to get that time – any time – to walk through the Louvre with him.
“A postcard?” Ally’s question pulled you out of your thoughts.
“One of them had to go to Paris for work.”
Before you could stop her, she pulled the card from your hands and inspected it. Though you wanted to keep your writings with Namjoon private, there wasn’t much there for Ally to pick up on. Yes, his initials were there, but nothing indicated that they stood for Kim Namjoon. While you knew Ally kept up with pop culture, there was no reason for her to jump to the ludicrous, but correct, conclusion that your soulmates were BTS. So you let her read.
“KNJ? Kevin…Nicholas…Johnson?” She raised an eyebrow at you.
“Even if you were right, I can’t tell you,” you laughed.
“Will you at least tell me which one Kevin Nicholas Johnson is?”
You paused for a minute. Telling her that Namjoon – or Kevin – sent the postcard was no different than when you mentioned that Jin – or Rain Man, as you still called him – visited. Only then you’d used your nickname for him instead of one Ally made up.
“He’s the first one,” you said. “The one I had the first contact with at the cafe.” Ally’s eyes went wide. “Things have gotten a lot better between us since I went to visit.”
“Apparently. The man wants to spend months with you in a museum,” she laughed.
“Go sit down,” you said, taking back the postcard before you shooed her to the couch. You took a final glance at Namjoon’s words before putting it away in your room. You’d write back later.
I know I just sent a letter, but I need to write. Jin is on his way to you. If I'd known sooner or could write faster, I would've given him this letter to bring to you. But I'm just barely grasping my own emotions now, let alone being able to put them down for you.
I'm sorry for how I acted. I never meant to belittle your fears or minimize you. Please trust me on that. Sometimes, though, I struggle to see the forest through the trees. I focus so much on solving problems that I fail to see their root. And, as much as I try, I still feel out of my depths with you. I'm smart, but not in any way that can help – I'm not a doctor or a psychologist, I don't understand trauma. No matter what I want or try, I can't change your childhood, I can't help you feel better around us or trust us more. And that makes me feel absolutely useless.
In a world where I've been able to do anything I put my mind to, I struggle to find that I'm unable to do what I truly want for you. I can't bring you to Seoul right now, can't move you into our apartment and assure you that we'll always be around. I'm not foolish enough to promise that you'd never cry again if you were here, but at least we'd be able to comfort you when you do. Would that comfort be enough for you? If we had that time, weeks and months uninterrupted together, would that assure you of how we feel? Would you feel confident in our desire to have you as our soulmate? Of how we yearn to be yours? Would just being together provide enough comfort to help you heal? It's grandiose to think that our presence could do that, but I want to be there for you, even if it helps a little.
Always, your friend,
Namjoon
You looked up from the final box you were packing, taping it shut and labeling it with big letters. Everything in your apartment, save your basic essentials, were packed and ready to move. Your moving day was just three days away, and you were counting the hours until you’d be able to see your soulmates again. You were excited for the change, to have a place where you could all be together easily.
You pushed a loose piece of hair out of your face and grabbed a cold glass of water out of the fridge before sitting down at your table. Another letter from Namjoon came today, but you held off opening it until you finished packing. Reading it was your reward for finishing up. You carefully opened it, and what a reward it turned out to be.
By the time you get this, it’ll only be a few days until we’re all together again. Everyone is eager to get on the plane. Jimin is already packed, which is the best preparation I’ve seen from him in years. I know it’s only been a few months and that we talk regularly, but I feel as though it’s been forever since we were together last. Does it feel that way to you?
Sometimes, when I can’t sleep at night, I think about the time we spent together. Hiking, watching the fireworks. I can’t get the feeling of you hugging me out of my brain – on the couch for the first time, before you left. I want to hug you again. Is that okay for us now? When I see you at your apartment, will you embrace me like you do the others? Have these past months been enough for us? Have we grown closer the more I pour out my heart into these letters?
Always, your friend,
Namjoon
A/N: Was this shorter than normal? Yes, sorry.
Was this completely based on my own headcanon that Namjoon would write love letters? Yes, absolutely.
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
Chapter 19 -- I'm Changing My Major to Jin
You're still feeling pretty shitty until an unexpected visitor arrives.
Waking up the next morning was exceedingly tough. By the time Jimin and Taehyung had talked you to sleep, it was close to 12:30 in the morning. And a couple hours of restless sleep after an exhausting night did not set you up for success. Your coworkers gave you a wide berth, your sour mood emanating through the cafe.
Your phone buzzed with small updates from your soulmates, subtle reminders that they were still around and undisturbed from your most recent breakdown. Hoseok and Jungkook shared a photo of them getting their hair and makeup fixed before an interview. Namjoon texted you, joking complaints about a meeting he was stuck in that very easily could have been an email. Yoongi, always direct, left a voicemail for you to wake up to, apologizing for raising his voice and wishing you a better day. Taehyung sent a video of a solo routine he was working on, asking for your opinion. A simple text from Jimin simply stating that he cared and was here for you.
And, trying to force yourself into a better mood, you responded. A photo of the new pastry the cafe got in to Hoseok and Jungkook. A text saying that, should Namjoon really want to get out of his meeting, you'd be willing to call and fake an emergency. Praise for Tae's routine because, though you knew nothing about dance, you knew the way he moved was beautiful. A text back to Jimin thanking him for the reassurance. You called Yoongi back on your bus ride home, leaving him a voicemail for when he woke, trying to explain that he didn't need to apologize for how he felt.
While the water heated, you sent another text to Jin. He was the only man you hadn't heard from today, radio silence after he left last night to take his phone call. It wasn't a long text, just wishing him luck with whatever he was taking care of. As you scrubbed your skin, hoping to scrub off the terrible feelings of the last day, you started to worry about your eldest soulmate. He typically was very responsive, even when busy. Jin, along with Taehyung, was very fond of short calls whenever he had a few spare minutes – stuck in traffic, waiting for dinner to reheat, walking to the convenience store for a snack. The extended silence was causing you anxiety, worsened by the memories of last night's argument. And, if the shared calendar the eight of you shared was correct, Jin was supposed to be at the interview with Jungkook today, not Hoseok. But, as you finished combing through your wet hair, you heard your phone ring. You grabbed it quickly when you saw the name pop up on the screen: Jin.
You didn't lie on the message though, not wanting to tell him your day went well when it hadn't. Though the texts back and forth helped some, you were still sullen when you arrived home. You were grateful though that your singular tutoring client for the night had canceled, a victim of a pink eye breakout in her first grade class. It would give you the time you wanted to seethe in self-pity. Maybe you would stop by the corner store later and pick up some ice cream. But, before you did anything else, you wanted to shower. After so many years grinding out coffees, you weren't sure you'd ever get the slight smell of coffee off of you, but you liked to scrub off the grounds that worked their way under your nails, into your hair and just generally all over.
"Jin, are you okay?"
"I'm okay, I'm fine," Jin said.
"I was worried," you said softly.
"I'm sorry," he said. "The last few hours have just been really hectic. Everything is okay. I didn't mean to make you worry."
"It's okay. I just miss you."
"Miss you too." He paused, and you thought you could hear a car honk its horn in the background. "What are you up to right now?"
"Nothing really. My tutoring session got canceled for tonight, but I was planning to go look at furniture tomorrow for the apartment." As you talked, you heard someone knock at your door. "Hold on a second, someone is here." But, when you opened the door to check outside, you dropped your phone. "Oh my god."
Jin. Tall, handsome, smiling Jin. Your damned Disney prince, Kim Seokjin, was standing in your doorway, small suitcase in hand and backpack slung over his shoulder. He smiled at you, softly saying your name. Coming to your senses, you flung yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist as tightly as you could. He clung onto you also, one arm around your waist, the other your shoulders. The feeling of being in his arms brought tears to your eyes.
Someone cleared their throat with a loud harrumph. Both Jin and you looked to see your elderly neighbors standing in the hall, jackets on and staring at you, your embrace blocking the hallway. You mumbled an apology and dragged Jin into your apartment as he attempted to greet them. When you closed the door, you got a better look at him: his clothes were rumpled, his hair a little greasy, his glasses were smudged. He looked thoroughly exhausted.
"Don't get me wrong, but what are you doing here? I thought you were in Seoul?" You asked, reaching up to hold him again. "You said you were busy?"
"I got a flight," he explained, running his hands up and down your arms, as if to convince himself that you were real. "After our last call, I couldn't just leave you alone. You needed one of us. So I faked the call to go book a ticket."
The more he talked, the more exhausted he sounded. You had a dozen questions, but you wanted to make sure he was comfortable first.
"Do you want to sit?" You asked, motioning to your love seat.
"Please no," he laughed. "I've been sitting for fifteen hours. My legs will fall off if I don't use them soon."
"What about a shower? Food?"
"Food would actually be great."
"How does pizza sound?" You asked as Jin followed you the few steps to your kitchen. You'd been planning to make it for dinner, but you'd gladly cook anything he felt like having.
"Pizza's great. What can I do to help?"
"Nothing!" You said quickly. "Just relax. Let me take care of it. Do you want something to drink?"
You moved to go to the fridge, to grab the ingredients in there and start cooking, but Jin grabbed your wrist and pulled you back into his embrace. His grip was secure, as if he was afraid you'd fly away from him, and he cupped your head close to his chest. You could hear his heart beating, steady and constant, just like him. And, deciding that food could wait if Jin was more content like this, you hugged him back. After a few minutes basking in the comfort of each other, Jin pulled back just enough to look into your eyes.
"I want you," he said. "I don't want anyone else – soulmate or not. I want all of you and only you. And I don't want you to ever second guess that again. I am your soulmate, completely and totally yours. Please be mine."
Your heart was racing. Jin had said things like this before – beautiful, romantic words about being soulmates. But today, as he stood barefoot in your kitchen, smelling like an airplane and blurry eyed, you finally believed him.
"I'm yours, Jin" you whispered. You wished you could take a picture of the smile he gave you, joy radiating off his handsome face. "Can I…can I kiss you?"
"Uh-uh," he laughed a little, shaking his head. "I've wanted to kiss you for months. I'm not letting you steal my thunder."
"Then kiss me."
And he did. Gently cupping your cheek, he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. He didn't pause, didn't let the anticipation of the moment linger, because you'd both spent too much time waiting for this. The kiss, like your soulmate, was romantic and gentle. Jin melded his lips to yours rather than pushing the kiss any further. When you first hugged your soulmates, you felt healed, all the past pains of your soul being soothed. With Jin's lips against yours though, it was as though something new and unexpected was coming alive inside you. Jin pulled back slightly from the kiss to smile at you, but you stood on your tiptoes and kissed him again. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling your bodies closer. He didn't fight you, tilting his head to match your kiss and wrapping an arm around your waist to steady you against him. With a soft swipe of his tongue against your lips, you opened your mouth to deepen the kiss.
But then his stomach growled.
“I should get cooking,” you giggled. Jin groaned and tried to chase your lips for another kiss, but you pulled away with a smile. “Let me feed you, Jin.”
“I’d rather kiss you,” your soulmate pouted.
“We can kiss while the pizza cooks,” you said, leaving his arms to go to the fridge.
Satisfied with your proposal, Jin helped you gather the ingredients for your meal before grabbing himself a glass of water. He leaned against the counter, watching you preheat the oven. As you rolled out the dough, you realized now would be a good time to ask Jin all the questions you had.
“How long will you be here?”
“The day after tomorrow,” he said. “My flight leaves at 5:20pm. I’m sorry it’s so short, there’s something Wednesday I couldn’t get out of.”
“Don’t apologize. I didn’t think I’d see any of you until your visit in March. This is more than I could’ve asked.” You paused and focused for a moment on spreading sauce on the dough. “Is this why Hoseok went with Jungkook to the interview.”
“Yeah, they’re covering for me.” Jin smiled at the thought of his six brothers. “They’re good kids.”
“Kids? Yoongi is three months younger than you,” you laughed. “You two are closer in age than anyone else!”
“Aaah,” Jin complained, rolling his eyes. “I’m not used to having someone older than me in the group. Sure, I have my older brother, but with the guys, I’m always the oldest.”
“You’re not anymore. At least, I don’t think you are? Or maybe we’re the oldest together?” You still found the Korean way of counting age confusing, and Jin laughed as you shook the thought from your head. There were more important things to talk about. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming earlier?”
“I thought about it," Jin said, his voice suddenly becoming serious. "Honestly, I was afraid, if I called to give you a heads up, that you'd tell me not to come, that you'd pretend you were okay and convince me that I didn't need to be here. I knew it was a risk to show up unannounced. But I kept telling myself that you'd be happy to see me, that I'd be able to help you feel better. If I just showed up on your doorstep, I knew you wouldn't turn me away."
"I would never turn you away, Jin." He nodded slowly, taking another sip of his water. You focused on putting the final toppings on the pizza, not wanting to see the intense way Jin was looking at you. “And I am happy to see you. I do feel better having you here.” You carefully slid the pizza into the oven and set the timer. Leaning against the counter, you stared at the floor. “I’m sorry that I turned the video call into a mess. I didn’t mean to unload my fears onto you guys. If I hadn’t, then you wouldn’t have had to make the trip and waste your time.”
“None of that,” Jin said. “That thinking is exactly why I didn’t warn you. Me being here is not your fault. Yes, you were upset, but all of us were. And the choice to come here is on me .” Jin walked over to you and cupped your chin, angling your face to look at him. “I could’ve done a dozen different things to try and reassure you from Seoul. I could’ve stayed on the phone longer with you, called more often, anything. But I wanted to be here. I wanted to prove to you that I will do whatever I need to make you believe that you are enough.”
He kissed you again, more deliberately this time, as if this kiss could silence the anxious thoughts running through your head. And you wanted it to. So you reached up, gripping his broad shoulders with one hand and running your other through the hairs at the base of his neck. Jin groaned, leaning closer to you and pushing you against the counter. His hand moved from your chin to your hair, cupping the back of your head. You needed to breathe, but you didn't care. You'd denied yourself the feel of Jin's plush lips on yours for too long and you'd be damned if you missed another second of it. But Jin pulled away first, looking down at you with unabashed affection.
"I will gladly fly around the world if it means I get to kiss you," he said softly. "Though I'm not sure how I'll leave you now that I get to do this," and he leaned down to quickly peck your lips.
"Please don't talk about leaving right now," you said. He'd just arrived and, after finally experiencing what it was to kiss him, you couldn't stand the thought of him leaving you. "I honestly don't know if this will make things better or worse for me when you go back."
Jin sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. "We'll have to figure out something. You were the first to say it, but we're struggling too. I can't sleep through the night. I hear Hoseok pacing at all hours. Jungkook basically lives at the gym. Namjoon and Yoongi barely leave their studios anymore. Jimin and Taehyung have been sleeping in each other's rooms more, which is something they tend to do when they're struggling. I think they're trying to be sneaky about it, but it's not working."
You were quiet for a moment. You knew the true reason Jimin and Taehyung were sleeping together, trying to be with the soulmate they could while you were far away, but you didn't say that. It shocked you though, to learn that your seven soulmates were also having a hard time with the separation.
"I didn't know that," you mumbled. "Why didn't anyone speak up?"
"I think we're all afraid to admit it. The months apart after we all first met were easy. Though we had our first contacts, we barely had time to establish ourselves as friends, let alone soulmates. I think we were afraid that, if we talked about how we were struggling, we'd be forced to talk about the reality of what is going on."
"That we want to be together?" You said.
"Yes," Jin nodded, smiling. "That we want to be together."
You stood on your tiptoes, quickly kissing him. It was easy to admit these feelings to Jin. As the oven timer went off, you pulled away from him and went to check the pizza. You could feel his eyes on you, watching as you sliced and plated a few pieces for each of you. Jin didn't make it to the table before shoving a large bite in his mouth, gasping at how hot it was and making you laugh. You sat in silence, simply taking in the sight of each other being so close. While your small apartment was cute, and the new apartment you'd be moving into soon was nice, you realized what you liked best was the sight of one of your soulmates sitting at your kitchen table. Luckily, they'd all be with you for the move and you'd be able to capture this mental image again soon.
You let Jin eat his full, giving him extra slices before you wrapped up the leftovers. When he was finished, you caught him drizzling dish soap in the sink.
"I'll take care of that," you said. "Go shower." Jin started to protest, but you took the sponge from his hands. "You smell like an airplane."
"Hey!" Jin laughed. "Be nice to me."
"I am being nice. And you'll feel nice afterwards." You pecked his lips before gently nudging him towards the bathroom. "Now go shower, Mr. World Wide Handsome."
"Do you still want to go furniture shopping tomorrow?"
Jin and you were curled up on your love seat, a generic romcom long forgotten playing on your television. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, your legs thrown over his lap. You kissed him quickly before answering.
"I'd like to. I have the day off and I want to make sure I have furniture for when you guys come in March. At least beds for everyone."
"Crap," Jin said, eyes going wide. "I just realized you only have your bed."
"And?" You asked. Jin raised his eyebrows, trying to check your intentions. "We can share a bed."
"Are you sure? This isn't too soon?" You laughed softly at his wording. "You know what I mean."
"I do, and it's not. I'm all in, Jin. I'm your soulmate."
Cupping the back of his neck, you kissed him deeply. He didn't resist, but you felt his breath hitch a little as you pressed closer to him, hand moving from his neck to twist into his hair. He reached for your free hand, twining his fingers through yours. The hand he had around your shoulders moved down slowly, resting on your waist. A part of you wondered if it would be worth going shopping on your own another day, just so you could hide away with Jin and spend his entire trip kissing. In your kiss-addled brain, there was nothing you needed outside of your apartment right now: it had Jin and his lips, so you were content. And, as you pulled back to take a breath and take him in, you didn't want anyone else to see him like this: his hair rumpled, lips slightly swollen from kissing, cheeks gently blushing. Maybe you were greedy, but you didn't want to share him right now.
Jin raised the hand he was holding and gently kissed it. He smiled to himself, and you wondered if he could hear your heart racing. He kissed your hand again, this time pressing his lips to your ring finger.
"Gonna have to look for a ring," he mumbled.
Your eyes went wide. Yes, you told him you were all in, ready to be his soulmate. But marriage was far too soon.
"A ring?" You whispered.
"Yeah. I'll need to know your ring size though." His voice was soft, dreamy as he stroked your fingers.
"I'm not ready to get married, Jin."
"What?" He looked at you, shocked. "Oh no, no! Not an engagement ring." Laughing, Jin shook his head. "In Korea, a couple can exchange rings to show that they're in a committed relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean engagement or marriage. Just commitment."
"Oh, like a promise ring?"
"I guess? They're typically exchanged after the hundred day mark of a relationship."
"It sounds similar," you said. Ally and Jay exchanged them after a year or so of dating. Jay, the secret romantic he was, ended up coordinating the promise ring, engagement ring and wedding band he gave her to be a beautiful matching set. And, if the idea of couples rings came this quickly to Jin, you assumed it meant a lot to him. You wanted have this. "Matching rings would be nice."
"I don't think I've ever been inside," Jin said as he pushed the bright blue IKEA cart next to you. He glanced around the giant store, eyes a little cautious.
"Honestly, that's probably for the best," you said, quickly checking your map before leading your soulmate down a different corridor. "If the seven of you came here together, you'd never leave." You lowered your voice and walked closer to Jin, not wanting anyone to hear what you were about to say. "The maknaes would probably start a game of hide and seek."
"Or tag," Jin groaned. "Hobi would either join them or run around desperately trying to stop the game. And Joon would be looking at a desk and somehow manage to break it."
"Yoongi would be very into everything for about thirty minutes," you giggled, enjoying this game, "and then completely give up."
"We'd spend an hour trying to find him just to realize he's on a bench by the exit!"
Both of you broke out laughing, drawing the attention of a nearby shopper for a moment before they looked away. Jin was still wearing his facemask and baseball hat, not wanting to run any risk of being recognized. And, though you understood and respected his reasons, you resented them slightly. You wanted to be able to see his face as he talked and laughed. You wanted easy access to his lips. But you settled for linking your arm through his as you walked through the aisles.
"What about you?" You asked. "What would you be doing?"
Jin glanced at you with a mischievous look. "I'd steal you and go make out in the car together. Let the others sort themselves out." You laughed again, this time leaning a little closer to him. You were glad that he was thinking the same thing you were. "Honestly, though, I think we'd actually try to find what we came for."
"Just like we are now?"
"Yeah. Because we're functioning adults."
"Adults or not," you started, pulling him to a stop in front of a bed set. "I still reserve the right to make out with you in a car." Despite his mask, you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
Luckily, the trip proved to be efficient. Within a few hours, Jin helped you choose two new bed sets and a sleeper sofa to go in your living room. You planned to keep your love seat, but the sleeper sofa would be needed for when all seven came to visit. Because you needed the furniture to be held until you were ready to move in, you spent time coordinating with a worker to get everything delivered on your move in date. As you watched the cashier ring out your items, you glanced uncomfortably at the quickly rising total. Now you understood why Jin said that being their soulmate would get expensive. There was no way you'd be able to afford all this furniture on your own. You glanced at Jin, hesitantly, knowing you needed his help but still embarrassed. He stepped closer to you, placing a reassuring hand on your back.
"We'll sort it out later," he said as he swiped his credit card.
Later that night, Jin and you were on your bed. He was sitting propped against your headboard, and you were leaned back against his chest, his legs on either side of you. Both of you had your calendars open, looking at the upcoming schedules and trying to figure out when extra visits could be planned.
"So your move in date is the 15th?" Jin clarified and you nodded. "Our flight is scheduled to land early that morning. We’re planning on getting two rental cars so we don’t have to worry about Ubers or taxis. Then we could be here by 9 or so."
"That works," you said, typing more details into your phone. "I have to pick up the moving van at 8:30, and the stuff from IKEA is scheduled to be delivered around noon. You guys are leaving when?"
"Morning on the 18th. I know it's not long, but it's all we could manage to get with how busy the next few months are."
"It's fine, Jin, I understand," you tried to reassure him, rubbing his arm. He made a soft sound in protest, though, so you twisted in his grasp and took his face in your hands. "We'll make this work," you said and kissed him.
Jin gripped your hips tightly and swept his tongue into your mouth. You weren't sure how you'd lived so long without kissing Jin, but he seemed just as eager as you to make up for lost time. Your hands moved to his broad shoulders, clinging desperately, and Jin moaned softly. The sound made you melt and you dug your fingers into his shoulders a little harder, hoping to hear the sound again. Instead, Jin moved his lips, pressing kisses along your jaw and down your neck.
"Jungkook!" He gasped suddenly, pulling away from you and grabbing his phone, which had been tossed aside. You stared at him, confused. "JK has to be in LA at the end of April for a collaboration," he explained, scrolling to the correct month. "We'd have to talk with Seijin first, but he might be able to come to you before or after, even just for a day or two."
"He doesn't have to visit," you said softly. Though you wanted to see your youngest soulmate, you couldn't fight the guilt you felt when you thought of the significant amount of time he'd spend flying. "It seems like a lot of work and I don't want to disrupt your lives too much."
"You. Are. Not. A. Disruption," he said, accentuating each word with a kiss. "Kookie misses you so much, we all do. I'm sure any of them would work to come see you if they're in the country." You nodded, still trying to get used to their affections. Jin hooked his chin on your shoulder and started scrolling through his calendar again. "We're really busy in May. I don't think anyone is even leaving Seoul between prepping for Festa and finishing up work for the new album." He furrowed his eyebrows and kept scrolling.
"It's about six weeks?" You asked. "If Kook can come after LA, it would be about six weeks between his visit and me flying to Seoul." Jin nodded. "I can last six weeks." You hoped your voice sounded confident. "It's been a little over six weeks since I left Seoul. Six weeks was tough when I wasn't going to see you for another month. But I think I can go six weeks if we're together in the end." You looked at Jin. "But that's only me seeing Jungkook. I won't see anyone else until I come in June. I don't think I can get more time off and come sooner." Your heart sank at the reality of the situation. "This isn't fair to them."
"It's not," Jin agreed. He sighed deeply and hugged you tighter to his chest. "But it's the best we can do for now."
"Will they be okay? Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon? Jimin and Tae? Will they be okay with waiting another three months? Maybe if I talk with Josie, I could get an extra day or two off in May? Swap days off with someone and fly out for a little?"
"That'd be great, but I don't want to count on that. I'd rather not get anyone's hopes up until we know for certain if that's possible." You sighed, knowing Jin was right.
Getting additional time off would be tough, and you didn't want to pressure Josie or your coworkers since you were already taking trips in June and September. But you knew how you felt these past few weeks – the difficulty sleeping, the constant daydreaming, the sensation of just being off somehow – and you wanted to alleviate that as much as possible for your soulmates. When you left their apartment in January, you believed that the quarterly trips would be enough. You had assumed that the arrangement would be tough, but workable. But as you clung to Jin and began to fall asleep, you knew only your former assumption was correct.
A/N: Like I mentioned earlier, I had specific plot points planned out for this story before I even committed to writing WYTM and Jin being the first kiss was one of them! I just didn't know how it was going to play out. I'm pretty proud of it personally, but what'd you think?
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: Chooo chooo! All aboard the Pain Train!
Chapter 18 -- Everybody Loves a Winner, So Nobody Loved Me
The guys cope with the fallout from game night.
Once he saw his soulmate climb into bed, Jungkook said goodnight and went off in search of his hyungs. He trusted Jimin and Taehyung to stay on the call until his Noona was calm enough to sleep, and he had other people to check on. Jin, for starters. Jungkook had been sitting next to the eldest and knew that, despite the excuse he used, Jin didn't get a phone call. So, when he saw Jin's door wide open, he walked right in, surprised to see the man walking around his room in a rush, gathering clothes and toiletries. An open suitcase laid on his bed.
"What, Jungkook?" His voice was strained and tense, an unusual tone for the normally silly and loving man.
"I wanted to check on you," Jungkook said. "What are you doing?"
"Packing."
Jungkook frowned. Jin tended to get quiet when he was deeply upset, and the terse answers told Jungkook everything he needed to know about his hyung's state of mind.
"I didn't think your photoshoot was until later next week," Jungkook started. He wanted to get Jin to talk about things, knowing it'd make him feel better.
"The shoot is on Wednesday," Jin grumbled. "But I'm not going there. I'm going to America."
"What?" Jungkook asked, shocked. "Are you skipping the photo shoot?"
"No," Jin sighed and started to inspect the items he laid out. "I'll be back in time for it."
"What about practice and training?"
"To hell with that!" Jin shouted, making the youngest's eyes widen. He ran his hands through his hair. "Right now, our soulmate is falling asleep thinking that we will throw her away at the slightest inconvenience. And I can't let her think that. I've been patient, I've reassured her in every way I can think of, but it isn't working. So I've got to try something different."
"What are you going to do?" Jungkook asked.
"I'm getting on the first flight I can to America and flying to her. I'll call her when I land. I'll make sure I'm back in time for the photo shoot."
"You're crazy, hyung. That timeline will give you, what, like fifty hours in America? Maybe less?"
"I don't really care, Jungkook," Jin sighed. "I'm losing my mind right now, thinking about her all alone."
"Seijin is going to be pissed at you," Jungkook said. The eldest always had a tendency not to care about company rules, more likely to beg forgiveness than ask permission. But, in this moment, Jungkook respected that bravery. "How can I help?"
"Pack everything on the bed. I need to book a flight." Jin smiled for the first time since the card game ended. "Then you can drive me to the airport."
Yoongi shifted, uncomfortable under Hoseok's glare. He was sitting with Namjoon on Hoseok's bed, waiting for his friend to speak. Despite being older than the other two, Yoongi felt like he was a child again, being reprimanded by his father for misbehaving. Namjoon was still frozen under the harsh, judgmental look their friend perfected. They knew Hoseok was pissed, and they knew the best option was to let him talk first. So they waited, shrinking under his scowl.
"What the hell was that?" Hoseok finally asked. "How was that supposed to be productive, to help any of us?" He waited for either of his friends to answer, but neither did. Instead, they each glanced off in different directions. Hoseok wasn't sure if they were embarrassed or still mad at each other, but he was fuming. Still, he tried to keep his voice low, he didn't want the others to hear this. "She's finally opening up to us, trusting us with how she's actually feeling instead of hiding everything. And that is how you two respond? By getting into a shouting match!" Sighing, Hoseok collapsed into his desk chair and just stared at the other two.
"I know that spewing off statistics isn't helpful," Namjoon started, focused on the floor. "And I wasn't trying to minimize her fears – I wouldn't do that. But I don't know how else to help. I don't know what to do."
"I don't know either," Yoongi said. "I hate this situation and I don't know how to fix it or help her. The only thing I can do right now is try to make her life less stressful, take some burdens off her. Make it so she won't have to work two jobs and go to school. I didn't offer to pay just to start a fight or to make her feel terrible."
"I didn't mean that, hyung," Namjoon quickly added, upset that he had flung the accusation out. He knew Yoongi wasn't manipulative. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine," Yoongi waved off the apology. "But I just wanted to try and make things easier. All I could think of was the sooner she gets her degree, the sooner we can all be together. Permanently."
The trio was quiet, each thinking about Yoongi's idea. Having their soulmate come back and stay with them was the goal. They weren't sure how it would happen, but they knew Yoongi was right: the first step was for her to finish school.
"That's not how I interpreted your offer," Namjoon said softly, finally looking at Yoongi.
"I don't think she understood it like that either," Hoseok said.
Yoongi sighed in frustration. "I should go call her. Explain. Apologize."
"Wait for later," Namjoon said. "I think the maknaes are trying to get her to sleep. Call her later when she's up. I…I need to call her too." Namjoon wondered if Yoongi and he should make the call together, apologize for the way they acted.
"I feel like shit," Yoongi said eventually. He leaned over and put his head in his hands.
"It'll be okay, the kids will talk to her now, we'll call her tomorrow, and everything will be okay."
"Not about this. I mean, today didn't help. I just generally feel like shit. I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. My focus is shot. I miss her," his said, defeated.
"I miss her too," Hoseok said, moving to sit near Yoongi. Hoseok had kept that frantic call he received weeks ago a secret and talking about it now would probably only further agitate Yoongi. But he could talk about his own feelings. "And I haven't been sleeping well either. Last good sleep I had was New Year's Eve."
"I wonder if that's a side effect of the first contacts," Namjoon mumbled. The other two looked at him. "Last time I looked into soulmates, I only focused on multiple first contacts. I didn't look into a lot of the side effects or finer details."
"Can you?" Hoseok asked. "I want to know if what we're feeling is normal or if we're crazy. Or maybe if there's a way to alleviate it?"
"Yeah, I can look into it," Namjoon agreed. Then, blushing a little, he asked, "Maybe we can see if she's still on the phone? Wish her a good night?"
That idea made Yoongi smile, and the three headed out into the hallway. They'd left the maknaes in the living room, but, as they entered the common area and saw Jimin and Taehyung cleaning up the table, they realized they were too late. Before any of the rappers could ask how their soulmate was, the sound of a suitcase being rolled filled the apartment. The five turned to see Jungkook in a beanie, keys and mask in hand. Behind him was Jin, dragging a small suitcase. When the eldest and youngest got to the kitchen, they paused, staring back at the others.
"I'll see you guys later," Jin said, and lightly pushed Jungkook to get him moving. "I'll text when I land."
"Wait, what?" Jimin called out. "What's going on?"
"Is everything okay? What happened on your call?" Taehyung asked, following after Jin.
"Where are you going?" Yoongi asked.
"I lied; no one called me" Jin said quickly. "I booked a flight to go see her. JK's driving me to the airport. I'll be back for the photoshoot." He tapped Jungkook again and motioned at the door.
The others followed them into the hall, not satisfied with the eldest's explanation.
"What did Seijin say?" Hoseok said as they walked into the elevator.
"Haven't called him yet. I'll call him when I'm through security."
"How are you going to explain the trip?" Taehyung asked, looking at his oldest hyung.
"I'm going to tell him the truth. Our soulmate is alone and distressed and someone needs to be there." Jin sighed and blinked quickly a few times. "And honestly I feel like I'm going to implode if I don't see her soon."
"We'll be there in a month," Yoongi said softly.
"I can't wait that long."
"Go then," Namjoon's statement had a tone of finality to it, but when the others looked at him, their leader was smiling. "Do what none of us thought to do. Just text us when you land. And make sure she's okay for all of us?"
Jin nodded, quickly hugging each of his friends before rushing down to Jungkook's car. As his maknae pulled out of the parking garage and into traffic, Jin took out his phone. While Jungkook was packing, he'd been able to purchase a last minute flight that would take him from Seoul to his soulmate's home in about fifteen hours. Now, as his maknae navigated the busy roads, Jin purchased a return ticket. Though Jungkook was right about the short stay, Jin hoped the two days he had bought himself would be enough time to reassure his soulmate of his – their – dedication to making this work. As they drove past road signs marking the way to Incheon International Airport, Jin made a mental list of what he needed to accomplish in the short time before his flight: get through security, call Seijin, let his parents know he'd be in a different time zone for a little bit, maybe grab food since he hadn't had time to eat lunch. The only ticket available was in coach, which Jin didn't mind, but he wasn't fond of plane food.
"Just be careful, hyung," Jungkook said as he pulled into a spot to drop Jin off. "If anyone recognizes you, you'll be screwed."
"I will," Jin said, adjusting his face mask and baseball cap. "Thank you for the help, Kookie."
He gave the youngest a quick, tight hug before leaving the car. Luckily, people walking into and around the airport seemed more concerned with themselves than any possible celebrity sighting. Jin was grateful he only had his carry-on and a small backpack though, speeding his way past baggage check and into the security line. The child in front accidentally stepped on his feet, and the mother issued a quick, polite apology, but didn't seem to notice him otherwise. When he finally approached the security check, he grew a little more nervous: if his cover was blown, it would be here. As the middle aged woman checked his documents, she smiled a little. Jin lowered his facemask slightly, but she motioned for him to stop.
"You're all set , " she said. Her eyes sparkled a little with recognition, but she didn't give any other indication that Jin was who he was. "Thank you for flying with us today . "
Jin bowed deeply in thanks to her, grateful that she picked up on his secretive mission. She could've made his life incredibly difficult if she'd even mentioned his name, but her tact was endlessly appreciated. Jin made note of her name tag, hoping he could submit an anonymous compliment somewhere in the airport for her. When he made it to his gate, he was able to find an empty corner near the back of the waiting area. It had no chairs and no electrical outlets, so no one else wanted to sit there. That was perfect for Jin though, sitting down on the floor and pulling out his phone.
"Hey, it's me," Jin said as Seijin picked up the call. "I'm –"
"You're at the airport, I know." Seijin's voice was a mix between frustrated and amused. After all these years, he was used to Jin's little rebellions. "Namjoon called me the moment you left the apartment." Jin started to talk, but Seijin interrupted. "I don't want you to talk too much right now, in case someone recognizes your voice. Just keep your face as covered as possible and stay quiet until you land in America."
"I'm sorry," Jin mumbled. Realistically, he knew this impromptu trip would cause a headache for Seijin. He didn't want to cause the man extra work, but he needed to do this. Right now, he was Kim Seokjin, not Jin of BTS.
"Don't be. But, for the record, I want to say that this is a very big gesture for just being a platonic soulmate ." Seijin teased. Though he respected what the seven had initially explained to him, he never truly understood the concept or expected it to work long-term. But that wasn't his position to say. "Just travel safe and keep me updated."
Jin smiled to himself, happy that his manager wasn't as angry as anticipated. He set a reminder on his phone to buy the older man a thank-you present, maybe a bottle of the top shelf soju Jin knew he enjoyed. Glancing at the time, Jin realized he had a few minutes to spare before the plane started boarding, and jogged to the nearest convenience store. As he put a few items down at the register, he was grateful he had some cash on him, not wanting to risk pulling out his credit card. His mind stayed busy as he waited, realizing for the first time that he'd have to get an Uber or taxi to get to his soulmate's apartment. Without too much delay, Jin's boarding number was called for boarding and he tried to make himself comfortable in his seat.
As the plane taxi'd away from the gate and the flight attendants began their safety instructions, Jin put his headphones on and lowered his hat, intent on napping. But, feeling the plane leave the ground and begin it's ascent, he was too nervous to sleep. He realized this was a risk, flying out to see his soulmate on a whim, no heads up and no real backup plan should she not want to see him. No, Jin stopped that train of thought, she would want to see him. Despite her current self-critiques, his soulmate had been happy when they were last together. The doubts appeared during their separation, and, if Jin could get to her, he was sure he could make he feel better. So Jin took a few deep breaths to calm himself. In a little over fifteen hours, he'd be able to hold his soulmate in his arms again, to reassure her that he wasn't going anywhere, at least not anywhere away from her.
The rest of the day crept by for the six remaining men. None of them wanted to be at the Hybe building, each one fixated on their distraught soulmate and their hyung who was off to help her. They wanted to be with him, but knew that their schedules couldn't accommodate a group trip, especially with one planned just a month away. They also knew that they were going to have to work a little harder with Jin's unexpected departure, but they'd never admit that to him or hold it against him. Hoseok agreed to go to an interview with Jungkook in his place. Taehyung and Namjoon had swapped their studio sessions so that they could record in Jin's absence. Yoongi was taking Jin's car to the mechanic for its scheduled oil change. Jimin decided to take over the VLive Jin intended to do the next afternoon.
Despite this all, though, Jimin felt distinctly uncomfortable and untethered, as if he were in the ocean, slowly drifting away from the shore, with no way back. He'd been so distracted and distant throughout the day that he got nothing productive done. All he had to show for the day was an empty notebook that should have song lyrics on it and a pounding headache. So, not knowing what else to do, Jimin changed and headed off to find an empty dance studio. If he couldn't work off this feeling, then maybe he'd be able to dance himself into exhaustion and sleep the night through. And he needed a good night's sleep. Turning up some music, Jimin went through his stretches, forcing his body to obey him since he couldn't force his mind. His muscles ached from the dance practice they'd had as a group earlier today, but Jimin didn't care. He'd dance until he collapsed if it took the desperate ache out of his heart. So he danced.
The music cut abruptly. Jimin whirled around to see Taehyung by the stereo, holding both his own phone and Jimin's.
"I'm going home," Taehyung said. "It's time to leave."
"I want to stay a little longer," Jimin said, pushing his sweaty hair off his forehead. "I'll be back in time for dinner."
"Dinner?" Tae's repeated, eyes going wide. "It's 10:30, Jimin. How long have you been here?"
"I don't know," Jimin shrugged. "4? 4:30? Somewhere around there. It can't actually be that late."
"It is."
Taehyung handed Jimin his phone, and the shorter man looked to see the time as well as several missed texts, including the ones alerting him to their dinner order. While, mentally, it seemed to Jimin that he hadn't been dancing for that long, he felt the influence of several hours of hard dancing more the longer he stood still. But his plan worked, he was exhausted. Tae reached out and grabbed onto Jimin, worried as his soulmate began to sway weakly. He worked to get Jimin sitting on the floor.
"I'm thirsty, Tae," Jimin said softly.
"When was the last time you ate?" Tae asked as he grabbed his water bottle from his bag. It wasn't full, but it was at least something.
"Breakfast."
Taehyung cursed – Jimin hadn't eaten in almost eighteen hours and had spent the last six intensively exercising. He had no clue when, or if, Jimin had taken a break or drank anything.
"Wait here," Taehyung instructed. "I'll be right back." He ran out of the studio and towards the closest break room, where he knew a small fridge was located. He grabbed two electrolyte drinks, along with two bananas and a small container of rice balls. When he got back to Jimin, his heart sank. The man looked terrible, pale and sweaty, barely holding himself up against the wall. Taehyung sat next to him, unscrewing the cap of a drink. "Here, drink this." He waited, watching Jimin take a few slow sips and while he peeled the first banana. The two sat in silence until Jimin was done with the first bottle and banana. "How are you feeling now?"
"A little better," Jimin said. He was at least sitting up straighter.
"Do you think you can walk to the garage?" Tae asked, and Jimin nodded. He started to pack the remaining food and drink in his bag. "Okay, then let's go. We'll get home, take a shower, and go to bed? We can talk tonight or tomorrow."
Jimin just nodded and let Taehyung help him off the floor. He wrapped his arm around his soulmate, trying to stabilize a still wobbly Jimin. Jimin was grateful for the contact though, leaning his head against Tae's shoulder. Though they were normally very affectionate, Tae was glad the building was empty so no one would see them in this vulnerable state. As they got into his car, Taehyung handed Jimin the remaining food and drink he had. Jimin took them silently and Tae started to drive.
The drive between Hybe and their apartment wasn't long, and was easy to make at this time of night. But, it was long enough for Taehyung to start to spiral. As he glanced from the road to Jimin, who was staring out the window and slowly chewing, Taehyung knew he was in trouble. When Jimin was in a bad place, he would isolate himself. The fact that Jimin locked himself away in a studio for hours without letting anyone know showed Taehyung enough to understand his first soulmate's state of mind. As he pulled up to a stop light, Taehyung took several deep breaths, the way Namjoon had taught him when they were younger. Yes, today had been an absolute shit show, but Taehyung knew he couldn't freak out now. His soulmates needed him and, while he wasn't able to fly to America to help, he would help Jimin as best he could. So, taking the final turn towards their apartment, Taehyung drew a final deep breath and steeled his nerves for the upcoming tasks: getting Jimin showered and to sleep.
Jimin was steadier when he climbed out of the car, but his muscles screamed in pain. He knew he would pay for this tomorrow, he'd probably struggle to walk, but he didn't particularly care. Though he could walk on his own, he reached out for Taehyung, who gladly took his hand. They rode the elevator in silence, Jimin not ready to talk yet and Taehyung knowing better than to push him. In the hallway before their apartment, Taehyung quickly toed off his shoes. Jimin struggled, though, his muscles already cramping and sore. So Taehyung dropped to his knees and helped him, gently untying and removing each shoe.
"Go take a shower," he instructed. "I'll make a little more food for you to eat, then we'll go to bed." Jimin nodded, and Tae placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before sending him off to the apartment.
Jungkook was still awake and on the couch. He watched, eyes wide as Jimin slunk through the common area and off to shower. The maknae looked at Tae, nervous. Taehyung just shook his head, letting the youngest know to just let them be. While Jungkook, sweet and affectionate, was normally a comfort for Jimin, Taehyung knew this was something he had to solve on his own. Understanding, Jungkook turned off the television and went to his room, wanting to give them privacy. Tae focused on making a small meal for Jimin, something healthy, but easy to digest. So he fried two eggs and set them over a little rice, some steamed vegetables on the side.
But after half an hour, he grew nervous. He approached the bathroom door and could still hear the shower going. While long, luxurious showers were not unheard of for Jimin, Taehyung knew his soulmate wasn't in the mood for one. So he knocked.
"Jimin? Are you okay in there?" No answer. Taehyung knocked again, louder this time. "Jimin?" Again, no answer. "I'm coming in now!". Taehyung walked into the bathroom, steam immediately surrounding him. As he closed the door, he could hear sobs coming from behind the shower curtain. "Shit." Taehyung pulled back the curtain to find Jimin sitting on the shower floor, hugging his knees to his chest tightly and crying. Quickly, Taehyung turned off the water. He wrapped a towel around the sobbing man and held him close. "I'm here, Jimin, I'm right here. You're not alone." Jimin leaned his head on Taehyung's shoulder and Tae just tightened his grip. Though this seemed worse, Jimin sobbing uncontrollably, it calmed Taehyung a little – if Jimin was crying, then he'd be ready to talk soon. That was how his soulmate dealt with bad feelings – isolate, cry, talk – and over their years together, Taehyung knew the cycle well. So he simply held Jimin, whispering soft reassurances and gently kissing his forehead.
"It hurts so much," Jimin finally said, sobs no longer shaking his body. He looked at Taehyung. "I feel like something is shredding my heart apart. She needs us, but we're stuck here and I feel like shit leaving her alone. I'm failing, Tae. I can't help her, I can't be with her. I'm failing as a soulmate."
"You are not failing, Jimin."
"I can't even keep my shit together enough to check on you," Jimin mumbled, trying to wipe his tears away.
"You're allowed to have a bad day," Tae stressed. "You can struggle, it's okay. Today was terrible for all of us." He paused and pressed another kiss to Jimin's temple. "But Jin's on his way to her. What's he always saying to us? Hyung will do it." Luckily, this made Jimin laugh weakly. "We just have to hold down everything here so he can help her."
Jimin nodded and shifted in Tae's grasp. "It's cold, I want to get dressed." Taehyung moved and let Jimin finish drying off. "I just can't believe she thinks we'd leave her." He pulled on a pair of pajama pants. "That, after how hard we fought to stay in her life, that we don't want to be with her." Taehyung was quiet, letting Jimin speak his mind. "I don't want anyone else. I want her. I want you. I just want my soulmates."
Finally dressed, Jimin walked to Taehyung and kissed the taller man. It was slow, gentle, borderline chaste, but Jimin didn't want passion right now. He needed the comfort of knowing that Taehyung, his closest friend and soulmate, was here with him. And, knowing Jimin like he knew himself, Taehyung kissed him back exactly as Jimin needed. Sweet, loving, comforting. He wrapped his arms around Jimin, taking solace in the knowledge that he could at least help one of his soulmates.
"Stay with me tonight?" Jimin asked softly.
"Of course."
Honestly, Taehyung was slightly offended that Jimin even had to ask. While he'd happily spend every night in a bed with Jimin, they tried to keep it to a frequency that wouldn't raise suspicions with their other bandmates. Their initial decision, years ago, to hide their first contact was made from fear about how the others and the company would react. Now, at least, they believed their bandmates, their brothers, would welcome and accept the truth. But how could they walk back a lie they wove for over a decade? Regardless, Taehyung would announce his soulmate bond to the world if it meant he could continue to comfort Jimin tonight.
So they settled into Jimin's bed, rearranging pillows and blankets until they were both comfortable. Taehyung was, as Jimin had told their other soulmate, a very clingy sleeper. And, while it sometimes made sleeping too warm or created odd pressure points, Jimin welcomed the clinginess as he felt Tae's arms wrap around his torso and pull them tightly together. Taehyung threw his leg over Jimin's, completely enveloping the shorter man. But it was what Jimin needed tonight. And, as the exhaustion of the day forced him into sleep, he only wished that there was one more body crowding his bed.
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
A/N: One ticket for the Pain Train, please!
Chapter 17 -- I Will Keep the Plates All Spinning
"I want to get your opinion on something," you started. The fourth grader you tutored was sitting on a nearby couch and thumbing through the book he just checked out from the library and waiting for you to finish talking with his mom. "Nothing is certain yet, but I want to know how you would feel if I switched to hybrid tutoring? When I'm in town, we'd meet here, same as always. But if I have to be out of town, we'd meet at our normal time, virtually."
"Is everything okay?" The mother asked.
"Absolutely. I'm asking because I recently had a first contact. He lives far away though, so we're trying to figure out a schedule to visit that works for both of us." It was a lie you'd woven with the guy's help: enough of the truth to explain the necessity of what you wanted, but no revealing information. Admittedly, the truth of the situation was so ludicrous that she'd think you were joking if you told her. I had first contacts with BTS – winners of various American Music Awards, three Daesangs, and countless MAMA awards – and I would like to be in Seoul with them, as much as possible. But you wouldn't take the chance of saying that joke.
"Oh," the woman's mouth fell open a little in shock. "Yeah, I think that would be fine. Where is he?"
"Seattle."
"Across the country?" She mumbled, and you agreed with the lie. "How long is that flight?"
"Too long," you said, making her chuckle. That at least was the truth.
"Are you going to be moving out there?"
"Not for the foreseeable future. I'm planning on staying here for a while longer. Right now we just want to set up our lives to make visiting as easy as possible. And I'll obviously give you a heads up on my schedule and when I plan to be virtual."
"Of course," she nodded. "Yeah, I think hybrid lessons would work well." She called for her son and they said goodbye. "And congratulations on finding your soulmate," she called back to you.
You smiled to yourself as you sat back down at the table you'd claimed for the day. With a few minutes to spare before your next client showed up, you pulled out your phone and typed a message for the group chat. They wouldn't get it for another few hours, at least you hoped they were all asleep, but you wanted it in their inboxes for when they woke. You wanted them to know that you were working to make things easier for the group, to be available whenever you could all be together. And, sighing, you realized how much you wanted to be together again.
“So how are things going? I feel like we haven’t talked in a while.”
“I mean, you’ve been busy,” you laughed softly and motioned at Emmy, swaddled and asleep in Ally’s arms.
“But we can still talk,” Ally said.
So you gave Ally a short version of your life the past month, updating her on your jobs and telling her about the apartment you found.
“And they’ll be coming at the middle of March to help me move in,” you explained.
“So things have been going well?”
“Yeah, definitely,” you agreed
“But?” You cursed at her internally for knowing you so well. “There has to be a but.”
“But it’s hard,” you conceded. “I get why college was so hard for you and Jay. I spend all of my time either on my phone with them, or waiting to be on the phone with them. I haven’t had a good sleep since I left.” You sighed. “And complaining about sleep to a newborn’s mom just seems wrong, but I finally understand what you have talked about.” Ally nodded, and shifted her baby in her arms. She waited for you to continue. “It seems like, every day I spend away from them, I think of another reason why their lives would be better if I wasn’t their soulmate.”
“I spent a lot of time in college blaming myself for not being able to go to school closer to Jay. I kept thinking that, maybe if I’d studied harder, or applied for more scholarships, then I wouldn’t have to deal with the separation. But I also blamed him a little. Even though I knew Stanford was his dream school, I resented that he never considered going to school closer when I only got accepted locally.” Ally sighed, shaking her head. “Which is ridiculous to think of now. Because just saying that now makes me feel selfish. I’m glad he got that opportunity, and I would be so angry at myself if he didn’t go because of me. But, just because I’m happy with how things turned out, doesn’t make what we went through any less difficult.” You nodded, trying to understand what she meant. “Do you feel any resentment towards them?”
You didn’t answer immediately. How could you resent them? From the moment the reality of your collective situation was realized, your seven soulmates had been nothing but attentive, caring, and patient. They worked hard to earn your trust and friendship, never complaining about what you put them through. They were ready to be your soulmates from the moment the first contacts happened.
“I don’t know if it’s resentment,” you started, “but I hate how good they are with everything I’ve put them through. They don’t push, don’t fight it, they just wait for me to be ready.”
“Maybe that’s what you need? It could be why they’re your soulmates? You need someone – someones – who are willing to stand there, arms open, and wait for you to come to them. And here they are.”
You didn't know what was wrong with you. Wrapped tightly in a blanket and curled up on your bed, you sobbed uncontrollably. The day had been normal, your shift at the cafe passed by quickly and your two tutoring lessons finished. Yes, you missed your soulmates, as you did everyday, but it was a soft ache you were learning to live with. Nothing like the gaping hole you felt in your chest right now. You wrapped your arms tighter, trying to hold yourself together as the sobs wracked your body.
You'd been on the subway home after tutoring. Headphones in, listening to a rapper Yoongi recommended and looking forward to the pot pie you'd made for dinner. Across from you, a couple sat, hands clasped. You watched out of the corner of your eye as she leaned her head against her partner's shoulder and he leaned down to kiss her forehead. That broke something in you. Quickly you looked away, tears falling before you knew what was happening.
Now, as you cried in your bedroom, you felt painfully alone. While it'd proven to be a comfort on most days, listening to your soulmates' songs only made the pain worse, so the only sound around you was your sobs. The couple had done nothing wrong, nothing impolite, but watching the easy intimacy between the two reminded you of what was over six thousand miles away. You felt bombarded by the realization that you could have that, if you weren't so afraid. Weren't so intent on pushing them away during your first week together. Where would you be now if you'd been open and honest with them from the start, had explained your fears and worked together from the very first contact? You mourned the time you lost with them, knowing it would be weeks until you were together. Would you be ready to be a good soulmate when they came in March? Would they still be waiting for you when you were ready? Did you deserve to have them wait? You couldn't answer those questions, so you curled up further into yourself and let the loneliness and tears swallow you.
"I think…I think I'm next?" Hoseok said with extreme caution.
You looked at the scraps of paper you were using as makeshift cards in front of you. Three pieces of paper, a number scribbled on each – thirty-five, sixty-one, and eighty-eight. On your laptop screen, halfway across the world, your soulmates were sitting at their kitchen table and staring at the card numbered thirty in front of them.
"I could be next," you said.
"No, I'm next," Yoongi said, placing his card on top of the center pile. Thirty-two. Everyone sighed in relief.
"Does that change either of your opinions?" Jungkook asked.
"I'm pretty sure I'm next," you answered.
"Please be careful, Noona," Jungkook groaned, putting his head on the table.
Game night was becoming comically tense. You guys lost the last round quickly, and you knew Jungkook's competitive nature was taking over. The game was simple, trying to put down the cards in your hand in ascending order. The trick was that no one could talk about their numbers, having to figure out the order using odd metaphors and a little bit of mind-reading. You'd bought the game and sent it to them – care of Seijin – because it was a favorite of yours. The cooperative nature of the game lent itself well to team-building, and the communication (or lack thereof) had potential to be hilarious. It had taken a little while to set up, figuring out how best to use the camera and how to maneuver the cards you held, but you all got the hang of virtual game night
"Hoseokie," you said slowly, trying to gauge his card a little better, "if, in the space between thirty-two and your card, you had to get food made, what would you make?" Jin laughed at your question. All his cards were down already and he was enjoying the chaos. "With my card, I would grab a snack. Maybe a bag of chips. What about you?"
He frowned at his cards, glancing up at you then back to the center pile. "I don't think I'd get a snack. I don't think I'd have time."
"Then you should go," Jimin encouraged him.
Hoseok flipped his card over and you let out a dramatic groan. Thirty-nine. You showed your card to your soulmates, a series of teasing complaints aimed at Hoseok.
"This is too stressful," Tae mumbled as he gave his remaining cards to Yoongi to shuffle.
The guys talked amongst themselves for a few moments, planning snacks and drinks as the next round was set up. You listened, but found yourself focusing on Yoongi's hands as they cut the deck. His fingers were fast and precise as he bridged the cards. Before you could stop yourself, you started thinking about how his hands felt on your body – how he gripped your hand, the way he held you against him. You could feel your face start to blush a little as you started to think about how much you missed his touch.
"How have your Korean lessons been going?" Jin asked as Yoongi dealt out the cards.
"They've been good, but this is just the first week," you said, grateful for the distraction. "My teacher is nice though. She's been very patient with me."
"I'm sure you'll do great," Namjoon said. "Just keep practicing and know that we're willing to help you practice too."
You nodded and smiled. It was probably a great way to learn a language: free access to a group of native speakers who wanted to help, a private tutor, and a trip planned to the country to help immerse you in the language. You hoped it would help, as you didn't want to rely so heavily on them the next time you visited. And you remembered how much you struggled through your high school Spanish courses.
"I actually was hoping to talk with you all about something else," you said. All seven put their cards down and looked at you, curious. "I've been looking into doing my master's degree online. The courses are more flexible, so it'll be easier to work and visit with you. I'll still have to do my student teaching in my final semester, but we can figure out how to plan visits around that when I know more."
"Is that what you want to do?" Taehyung asked. "Will going in person or online affect anything in the future for you?"
"No, it doesn't matter. All I need is to get the degree and my certification, then I can work," you explained. "Plus, it's a little cheaper, so I'll be able to apply sooner."
"Why don't you just let us pay for it?" Yoongi asked.
You sighed softly. You anticipated that Yoongi would offer to pay for your schooling, always among the first to offer financial support, so you'd planned an answer. Unfortunately, after several nights of writing down your thoughts and trying to figure out why exactly you were hesitant to get their assistance, you created a bulleted list of reasons that you didn't think they'd be happy with. And now, shifting awkwardly in your chair, thousands of miles from where you wanted to be having this conversation, you looked at your soulmates' anxious faces.
"Hold–hold on a second," you said, quickly going to your room to grab your bulleted list. Your heart was starting to beat faster at the thought of explaining this, and you wanted to make sure you had your notes. When you sat down again, you noticed they rearranged their seats, now clumped together in two rows instead of spaced around the table. You could see them better, and they could probably see you clearer too. "I don't think you should pay for my schooling." Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jimin started to protest but you interrupted. "Please let me say everything first." You didn't want to bulldoze them, but you weren't sure you'd have the courage to keep talking if they disagreed immediately. "Let me finish first, then I'll listen to everything you have to say." They all nodded. "I can't have you guys continually giving me money. I'm an adult and I've been handling my own finances since I started working at fifteen. The plane ticket you said was a gift. With the new apartment, I'm at least paying the largest portion. I understand that we're in very different places for our finances, but I'm not with you for the money! The explanation of 'Well, if it wasn't for being soulmates, you wouldn't have this expense, thus we should help pay' doesn't work here. Going to grad school was always the plan. So please, let me pay for this." You stopped and looked at them. Yoongi and Jimin looked slightly guilty. Namjoon was staring at the table, the far-away look in his eyes that you were beginning to recognize happened when he was deep in thought. Jin watched quietly as Hoseok rubbed his neck in embarrassment. Taehyung fixed his eyes on the floor. Jungkook looked nervously around. "I'm done. Thank you."
Jungkook was the first to speak. "Noona, your hand."
"Shit," you mumbled. Three thin scratches ran across the back of your hand, a small amount of blood pooling from them. You went to the sink and quickly washed your hands, then grabbed a few paper towels. Hopefully you would pluck at those instead of your skin.
"We don't want to make you feel as though you're taking advantage of our money," Jin said. "But the reality of the situation is that being our soulmate is going to get expensive. Right now we're talking about international flights twice a year, plus a bigger apartment. We haven't even discussed furnishing that apartment. I know you have some stuff, but furniture for one person versus eight people is very different." He had a point – you hadn't begun to think about buying stuff for your new apartment. The beds, a new table, probably a new couch. It would add up quickly. "You don't want to take advantage of us, but we don't want to be a burden to you."
"I hadn't thought of it like that," you said. "I think I've been seeing this more as dealing with the immediate cost of everything, rather than what expenses could be long term."
"What if we worked out a compromise for paying for things?" Namjoon asked. "Maybe split big purchases eight ways evenly? Or compare what things we would like to contribute versus what you feel comfortable letting us help with?"
"I like those options. But we have to stick to what we agree on. No more saying I can pay for my dinner and then sneakily paying when I've turned my back," you explained. You still weren't sure who paid for your portion of Taehyung's birthday dinner, but you hadn't forgotten that they went back on the agreement.
"I think that's fair," Namjoon said. "What do you guys think?"
"That works for me," Jin said, the first to agree.
“I like it,” Jimin said, and Jungkook nodded his head in agreement.
“I think we should be able to revisit the list,” Hoseok suggested. “If something changes, or there’s a cost we didn’t predict, I think we should have the option to talk about it and figure out how to proceed.”
“I’m good with that,” you said quickly.
“It sounds good to me, too,” Taehyung agreed.
The six looked at Yoongi, waiting for his response. He was sitting with his arms crossed, a soft frown on his face. He clearly had something on his mind, and he didn’t look ready to agree to the compromise.
“What do you think, hyung?” Namjoon prodded him, cautious.
“I’m just struggling to understand this,” Yoongi sighed, running his hand over his face. “Why are you so against us helping you out?”
You didn’t say anything at first – this was the answer you were sure would frustrate them the most. The first reasons you gave were logical and easy to argue. The answer to Yoongi's question was nothing but anxiety and fear.
"Please help me understand," Yoongi begged.
"It's not that I'm against your guys helping me out," you said slowly, carefully choosing your words. "It's that I'm afraid I'll get used to it."
Yoongi started to say something, but Hoseok put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head, trying to get the elder to wait.
"Can you elaborate on that?" Hoseok asked.
"I don't want to become dependent on your help. I know that you wouldn't hold it over me, that's not it." You sighed, looking at the tiny pieces of shredded paper towel in front of you. Before you continued, you went and grabbed another sheet. As you made the first rip, you chose your next words carefully. "What happens if you get sick of me, get sick of waiting for me?” The seven men stared at you, confused about where your train of thought was going. “What if, while waiting for me to figure my shit out and be a good soulmate, you realize that you don’t want to deal with all this? What if the distance gets too bothersome? Or what if you find another soulmate and don’t want me around anymore? What if I don’t fit into your lives as idols? I’m not a popstar, I’ll never fit into that mold. You could find it easier to date someone in your circle, even if they’re not technically your soulmate. And if I get used to you paying for things, then I’ll be completely screwed if things go badly.”
You glanced up from your pile of shredded paper towels to look at your soulmates. As expected, your reasons didn’t go over well, their expressions ranging from hurt to frustrated. Yoongi looked like he was about to pull his hair out. Hoseok rubbed his shoulder gently.
“Thank you for explaining,” Taehyung said, the first to gather himself. His eyes were sad as he looked up at you. “Thank you for being honest.”
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. It was the only thing you could think of to say. You wished you were with them right now, able to comfort them after letting your insecurities out.
“I think it’s improbable that there will be another soulmate,” Namjoon said. Everyone stared at him. “The largest soulmate group that there's a record of is six people. We’re eight. The probability of there being a ninth soulmate out there is low. The chance that we actually meet them is even lower. We met by chance – an accident within that chance, too. I happened to choose the right cafe, during your shift, and accidentally bumped into you. The likelihood of that happening again is –”
“Probability isn’t the fucking point, Namjoon.” Yoongi’s voice was tense, a harsh frown set on his face. “That’s not the actual problem.”
“I understand what the problem is," Namjoon said, his voice getting louder.
“Apparently not!” Yoongi shouted. “This isn’t some meaningless logic puzzle that you can reason through and solve. She’s a person with doubts and fears and saying that her fears are unwarranted doesn’t help anything.”
"I know that! But at least I'm trying to help instead of making her feel like shit about herself," Namjoon yelled.
"That wasn't my intention!"
“Guys, take a breath,” Hoseok warned, letting a tense silence settle over them. Namjoon stretched his jaw, Yoongi grabbed at his neck. Jungkook looked tense, glancing back and forth nervously between his hyungs.
“Do you want to be our soulmate?” Jimin asked, his tone serious and earnest, but not as hostile as the last exchange between Namjoon and Yoongi.
“Absolutely.” There was no hesitation in your voice.
“Okay, good,” Jimin said. He motioned to his bandmates, then himself. “And I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we want you to be our soulmate.” The group all nodded, agreeing with his statement. “Now why isn’t that enough?”
“Because you shouldn’t want to be my soulmate!” You cried. You weren’t sure how to get them to understand where you were coming from, to see the problems you saw. “You guys have been perfect – compassionate and understanding. You have endless patience with my bullshit. And I am stubborn and cold and broken –”
“Stop punishing yourself!” Taehyung shouted. If you’d been with them, you probably would’ve shrank in response, but you were thousands of miles from his frustration and feeling farther than ever. “Six weeks ago, you left Seoul and everything was great. You said it yourself, that the trip was wonderful. What the hell has changed since then?”
“I think I’m just realizing that this doesn’t make sense, me being with you all,” you whispered. “I thought I was doing okay, but maybe the distance is too much. I did feel great when we were all together, but now I’m just scared again.” You looked away from the camera, tears pricking at your eyes, ashamed of what you admitted.
“I don’t care if this makes sense,” Jungkook said after a few moments. It was the first he’d spoken in a while. “I don’t want another soulmate and I don’t want to date someone else. What I want is for you to beat me at bowling and go on snack runs with me. I want my Noona who talks to me until I’m calm enough to fall asleep. I don’t care about someone else; I care about you. And as long as you want us, I think we can work from there.”
“I do want you,” you said, voice cracking a little as your tears finally fell. “I want all of you.”
No one was ready to speak next, so a heavy silence filled the group. On the screen, you saw Jimin move and start collecting the cards, the game clearly over. Jin then looked at his phone quickly before standing up.
"I'm sorry, but I've gotta take this call," he explained. "I'll talk to you soon, okay?"
As Jin walked away, you saw Hoseok tap Yoongi and Namjoon on their shoulders and nod in the direction of his room. You watched them leave, a pit starting to grow in your stomach. They were visibly upset, and you were, yet again, the cause.
"It's getting late for you," Taehyung said. You looked at your phone, past 11:30 and you had to be at work at 5am to open. You didn't want to hang up, though, unsettled by the way the evening went. Your face must've betrayed your hesitation, and Taehyung ask, "Do you want Jiminie and me to stay on the call until you fall asleep?"
"I'd appreciate it if you have the time."
"We always do for you," Jimin smiled and you carried your laptop to your bed.
A/N: The original plan for this chapter was for sweet, tooth-aching fluff. I wanted it to be a chocolate souffle. Instead, it became a burnt chocolate chip cookie of angst.
Im curious about the timeline. They're preparing for a comeback... Is it the arirang tour? Or a different one? Have they done their military service? Or maybe you are just making your own vague timeliness to keep things open?
Also, I know you're probably not taking requests or suggestions but I feel compelled to just mention maybe 2 words to consider? Shower scene? Oh, or bathtub scene... ohhh! Bathhouse scene!!! Ok, more than 2 but who's really counting.... 🤔🤪😉
Hey there friend! (May I call you that?)
Ooh, I had never thought of clarifying this on Tumblr!
I started writing WYTM in September 2022 and finished writing the main story in roughly November 2024. So WYTM exists in this weird AU my brain created where COVID did exist, but the BTS break didn't happen, nor did their military service. I figured I was already putting these 8 dingdongs through enough hell that they didn't deserve to suffer through mandatory military service 🤣.
And, though I did get feedback from someone that an upcoming chapter gave Arirang vibes, I, unfortunately, did not predict their comeback. I appreciate your vote of confidence in my ✨powers✨ though. It's just a vague comeback for The Plot™️
And, you're right. Shower scene...bathtub scene...bathhouse...I'm not that great at math so I don't know how many words those are. But I will tease these few words:
Story Summary: You know what happens when soulmates first meet. But when it happens to you one day at work, you are less than thrilled. Things only get worse when your new soulmate introduces you to his six friends.
Pairing: ot7 x f!reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit (later chapters)
General Tags: soulmates!AU, slow burn, angst, hurt and comfort, long-distance relationships, canonical therapy, eventual smut, an eventual HEA
Fic Warnings: low self esteem, self-harm, past abuse (physical, mental, emotional), lots of talk about food (both in positive and negative ways).
Chapter 16 -- Life Without You Has Been Hard, Has Been Bad, Has Been Rough
How do you readjust when you never felt things change?
This time, as the plane began its descent, you dared a glance out your window. You were greeted by the bay your hometown was built by. As the plane touched down and jostled you, you sighed deeply. Yes, you were home, but leaving had been more difficult than anticipated. Taehyung had been the first to start crying, clinging to you until Namjoon gently pulled him back so the others could say their goodbyes. Each soulmate was hugged multiple times, everyone trying to ensure that they had enough hugs to last til they visited you in the spring. Promises on how often you would talk were whispered. It wasn't until Jiho, who had respectfully waited in the hallway to give you all privacy, knocked and alerted you to the time that you finally left the apartment. Luckily, you were able to hold your tears back until you got into the car with her and Seojun. If either of them noticed, they said nothing.
As you waited for the plane to deboard, you turned your phone off airplane mode. You promised them that you'd text when you landed. But your phone buzzed and alerted you to a voicemail from Jay.
"We're at the hospital," he said, his voice frantic. "Ally's water broke. I can't pick you up." On the voicemail, you could hear Ally talk to someone else in the background. She sounded significantly calmer than her soulmate, laughing at an unheard joke. "I gotta go. We'll call later!"
You smiled, happy for your friends and lost in the thought of becoming, as they had already started to call you, an aunt. As you waited at baggage claim, you punched out a quick update to the large group chat with your soulmates.
You [5:17pm]: Back on the ground! Headed to grab my bag and then ordering an Uber.
Namjoon [5:20pm]: I thought Jay was picking you up?
Jin [5:20pm]: Is everything okay?
You [5:22pm]: All is good! Ally went into labor!
Taehyung [5:25pm]: Congratulations Auntie! Send us photos when you meet the baby
You chuckled at the exchange. Taehyung, you learned, loved kids. Of course he would want photos as soon as he could get them. When you finally saw your bag rounding the conveyor belt, you grabbed it and headed out the doors for your Uber. It was time to go back to your normal life.
Your first week back was rough.
Despite having only been with your soulmates for seven days, you spent the next seven waiting to see them. Each time the door opened when you were working at the cafe, you looked up hoping to see one of them walk through in their usual disguises. You tried to focus on making the orders as they came in, but you found yourself waiting to hear one of them order their drink. Something sweet and creamy for Jungkook, Taehyung's hot chocolate. The first time you saw iced Americano scrawled across a cup, your head shot up and you desperately scanned the cafe for Yoongi. He wasn't there, obviously, but you ached to see him smile at you or reach for your hand.
Tutoring was a better distraction, but not by much. The back and forth with your students, getting questions and giving answers, provided more to focus on than the tasks you could perform by muscle-memory at the cafe. The older the student, the more thorough the distraction. When you spent an hour reviewing how to structure a research paper with one of your high school clients, you barely thought about the seven men thousands of miles away. You weren't sure which you preferred though, the distraction or the ability to daydream about what you would talk about on your next phone call. Or what you would be doing if you were all together.
The best distraction turned out to be Ally, Jay, and their scrunchy-faced newborn, Emmy. She was a week old when Ally and Jay invited you over to meet her. You arrived at their house looking like you were moving in, two bags filled with ready to freeze portions of soup, chili, and lasagna. The few days prior to your visit had been spent food shopping and cooking for them whenever you had free time. Your soulmates watched and listened to you prepare as you took their calls and video chats. During your visit, Ally was understandably exhausted. She dozed off during the few minutes she was left alone when Jay went to change a diaper and you went to grab her a glass of water. Leaving the glass on the table near her, you quietly glanced around their house, before settling in washing the dishes filling their sink. When Jay came out alone, Emmy presumably in her crib for a nap, he smiled sleepily at you.
"You don't have to do that," he said softly, not wanting to wake his soulmate or his baby.
You rolled your eyes. "You two have done far more for me than just washing a few dishes."
"Fine," he chuckled. He raised his hand and showed off the small screen he was holding, showing Emmy in her crib. "I've got the baby monitor all set up and I'm going to set it on the coffee table. I'm going to sit but if I fall asleep, you can head out whenever."
"No need to wake you two?" You teased, making Jay glare at you weakly, also exhausted.
You hugged quickly before he sat down. The next time you went to rinse a dish, you looked up to see them both fast asleep. When you finished, you wiped down the counter quickly and left through the front door as quietly as you could.
As you waited for the subway to take you home, you realized you hadn't thought about your soulmates since arriving at her house. You pulled out your to see several missed texts, some from the group chat, some individual. You answered each one happily.
By the end of your second week, you felt more settled. The hope that one of your soulmates would walk into the cafe, just as Namjoon had that fateful August day, died off. You were content with the lines of communication established though. The group chat was lively, filled with general updates about schedules or daily life and jokes. You had individual text chains with each man, the frequency of messages ranging from Jimin, who was a voracious texter, to Jungkook, who sometimes took all day to respond to a short good morning. There was also a group chat between just Jimin, Taehyung, and you, which you didn't think the others knew about. Just for my soulmates, Taehyung had told you at its inception. It wasn't too active, an occasional picture of the two of them together, or a sweet message meant for the two others, but still private enough that it couldn't be sent to the full group chat. You weren't sure if Jimin and Taehyung wanted to keep their soulmate bond a secret, but you figured that was a conversation to have in person.
At some point, every day of the week, you were on a video chat or phone call. While your schedule would be fairly stable from week to week during the coming months, you knew theirs was constantly in flux, and that plans could change quickly. So you tried to keep your phone on you whenever you weren't working in case one of them called. The calls varied greatly, from the five minute call you got from Jin as he was driving to a dentist appointment, to the hour long conversation you had with Yoongi late one night (for you at least) when he hit a wall with the song he was writing.
You had never spent so much time on your phone. After your phone died on you one day during a double shift at the cafe, you bought a second charger and chord just to carry in your purse. Josie, the only person other than Ally and Jay who knew that you'd spent a week with your soulmates, shot you a knowing smile every time she saw you reach for your phone during a lull.
"So how was your vacation?" She asked one morning, shortly after opening but before the morning rush. It was just you two in the cafe, not including a single businessman fixing his coffee at the side counter.
"It was nice," was the answer you settled on. You knew you couldn't go into too much detail, and figured that a short answer was best
"Nice?" Josie repeated. "You spend a week with your soulmate and your description is nice?"
"It was nice, though," you insisted. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. "I enjoyed spending more time with him." Even if you could tell Josie the details, you weren't sure how to summarize a week where, despite bumps, you felt so thoroughly cared for. So nice would suffice.
Josie laughed, shaking her head. She took a sip from her coffee and watched as you looked at the photo Namjoon just sent of his newest plant, a small bonsai tree. You typed out a quick reply.
"See? And you're always on your phone now! You can't stop talking to him." Her tone was light and teasing. You smiled at her, blushing a little from her accusation. You were constantly on the phone, but you weren't going to tell her the truth of who you were texting. She sighed, leaning against the counter and gave you a mischievous look. "I'm sure I would be using different descriptors for my week if my soulmate was that hottie."
Your head jerked to stare at Josie. Before you could form a response, a small group of college students walked into the cafe. You kept your head down, quickly working on the drinks they ordered and trying not to freak out. You were neither stupid nor oblivious: Namjoon was very attractive. All your soulmates were. And you'd spent enough time scrolling Instagram and Twitter to realize that millions of people across the globe also thought that. But something about Josie's comment made you chew your lip in frustration. Though your relationship was significantly more platonic than romantic, completely due to your wishes and initial coldness, Namjoon was your soulmate. Maybe your suggestion to Jin to date other people was misguided, especially if this was how you felt after a simple compliment. You had never felt possessive of any of your soulmates, so the tight feeling in your chest concerned you. After finishing the drinks, you grabbed your phone and sent Namjoon a quick text.
You [8:25am]: I should get my break in about 2 hours. Can I call then or will you be asleep?
Namjoon [8:26am]: I'll be up. Is everything okay?
You [8:27am]: Yeah.
It wasn't the truth, but you weren't sure how to explain your jealousy to Namjoon. There wasn't anything to be jealous of, just a simple, objective observation. It wasn't as though Josie had tried to kiss Namjoon. And even if she had – if Namjoon was sitting at a table right now and Josie tried to hit on him – you really had no say in how he responded. You were the one who pushed him away.
As soon as your coworker came over to send you on break, you ran out the door, quickly dialing Namjoon.
"Good morning," he said, picking up. "What's up?"
"I just had a question: how does a man who can't slice an onion plan on keeping a bonsai tree alive?" It was a weak joke, but it was the best excuse you could come up with.
Namjoon laughed loudly, thousands of miles away. If you closed your eyes, you could see his dimples as he smiled.
"I sacrificed all my kitchen skills for gardening abilities. It was a tough trade, but it works for me," he answered, making you laugh. He waited a beat before continuing. "So what's the real reason for the call?"
"It's stupid," you mumbled.
"I'll still listen."
"My manager called you hot."
A few moments of silence passed.
"The one that was there when we first…at our first contact?"
"Yes, her. And I know it's stupid, she's just saying what everyone else thinks. But it made me so frustrated. We're soulmates, but you're not my property! You can date other people. Hell, I told Jin to but –"
"You told Jin he could date other people?" Namjoon's voice raised a little in shock.
"Yeah."
"Do you actually mean it?" The light, teasing tone from earlier was gone. He was completely serious now. "Do you actually want us to date other people? Or is this just some self-flagellation because of behavior you've already apologized for and are working on?"
Fuck, Namjoon saw right through you. His words stabbed at you and you took a shuddered breath.
"Do you not want us?"
"I do!" You cried, louder than expected. A few people stared at you as they walked by, but you ducked your head low and kept talking. "I want you all. I just know any romance is going to be slow and piecemeal. I'm not just going to wake up one day and be ready for some giant soulmate orgy." You were trying to deflect with humor, but Namjoon didn't take the bait. You sighed. "If I could give you all a timeline and say 'Don't worry, I'll be good in a month! Just hold on a little while longer and everything will be perfect!' then I would. But I can't, Namjoon. And it's not fair to just string you all along until I'm ready."
Namjoon groaned. You were sure he was pinching the bridge of his nose, as you noticed he did when he got frustrated. "I get it, I do. But why don't you let us decide that? Whether we want to wait or date elsewhere, trust us to make the choices that are best for us?"
"I trust you," you murmured. If you wanted all this to work – soulmates, the distance, the hope of romance – then trusting them was necessary.
You had just finished lunch one Wednesday afternoon when your phone started ringing. Seeing Jungkook's initials on the screen, you quickly converted the time difference. It was after 3am for him.
"Jungkook?" You asked, picking up. You knew he had the habit of doing VLives in his bed before falling asleep, maybe he accidentally called you? But as you listened closer, you could hear him crying. "What's the matter?" No answer. "Please talk to me, Kookie? Are you safe? Where are you?"
"At the apartment," he finally answered. "I'm safe."
You sighed, relieved. If he was in danger or hurt, you weren't sure what you would be able to do other than call the others.
"What's going on? What's made you so upset?"
"It's stupid, I'm sorry."
"No, no. Please let me in."
"It's just been one of those days where everything goes wrong. Hobi-hyung was mad at me during dance practice. Producer Bang spent over an hour tearing apart a song I wrote. I think I'm getting a cold and my throat hurts, so recording sucked." Jungkook sniffled and tried to take a deep breath to calm himself. Maybe you were wrong to ask him to explain, talking only seemed to make him more stressed. "And I just wanted to hear your voice."
"Oh Kookie," you sighed. You wished you were with him, able to hold him close and reassure him that things were going to be okay. But you could only do the later, so you were going to make sure you did it well. "I'm sorry you had such a shitty day. I think you need to sleep though. Tomorrow will just be even worse if you're exhausted."
"I know, but my mind won't stop racing."
"I get that," you said softly. You knew the feeling, when sleep was the only thing that would make the situation better, but it still eluded you. "How about I stay on the phone for a little longer? You can put me on speaker and lay down, and I'll stay on until you fall asleep."
"That'd be nice," he whispered.
You waited quietly and listened to him readjust. He coughed lightly a few times, and you gently reminded him to take cold medicine in the morning. When he was settled and good, you started talking. The two of you talked yesterday, so there weren't a lot of updates to give him on your life. But you made your voice soft and told him about your plans to tutor that evening, going over your plans and the lessons you were covering. You detailed a dinner you were planning to cook and made your shopping list aloud. The goal wasn't substantial conversation, rather just enough background noise to calm his racing mind. You were halfway through describing the view from your kitchen window when you heard him start to snore gently. You kept talking for a few more minutes, ensuring he was asleep.
"Sleep well, Jungkook," you whispered despite knowing he wouldn't hear you.
In your third week, you began tackling your to-do list. You scoured apartment listings for any two or three bedroom apartments that weren't offensively expensive. Your six other soulmates loved Jimin's idea of a bigger apartment and a place to stay whenever they visited. So it was agreed that you would continue paying your current rental rate towards the new apartment, and the seven would provide the rest. If the rental listings were accurate, you'd be paying roughly a third of the rent, as well as utilities. The final two-thirds of rent would be split amongst your seven soulmates. While it wasn't ideal and you still felt uncomfortable accepting their money, you were glad to be paying the plurality of apartment costs. They insisted it was fair because they would be staying at your new place whenever they visited. And, as they told you, they hoped to be visiting as often as possible.
"A home away from home," Jin called it.
You'd toured four apartments already and, for each one, took extensive videos and photographs to show your soulmates. While you would've been content with any of them, the seven men proved to be pickier and you wanted them to get an opinion. Jin and Jungkook had strong opinions that you should get a three bedroom, which made them dislike the first apartment you toured. The second apartment had "a weird layout," according to Hoseok. You agreed that the floor plan was unusual, but didn't believe it was enough to disqualify it. But Namjoon chimed in that the ceilings seemed unusually low, and you gave in. The last thing you needed was for Namjoon to accidentally break through your ceiling. Yoongi and Jimin had taken it upon themselves to research the areas where you were looking, and believed that your third apartment's neighborhood was too dangerous, after a small series of break-ins during the last year. All seven agreed that the fourth apartment was bad: it looked significantly worse than it's photos, the stairs seemed dangerously creaky and the floor bounced when you walked on it. While you had lived in worse apartments, you figured it would be best to find another place.
As you followed the woman from the leasing office of the fifth apartment, she started to explain the different amenities to the building. Outback was a patio with a grill for residential use, and a gym on the first floor. You made a mental note to highlight those to Yoongi and Jungkook should they need some convincing. But, when you walked in, you weren't sure much convincing would be needed. There was an open floor plan for the kitchen and living area, with a large window facing a nearby park. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, including one in the "the principal bedroom," as the leasing agent deemed it. She highlighted some of the other features – the Bluetooth-enabled heating system, a new stove, easy access to the elevators – but you were only half paying attention. This place was perfect, and you wanted to show it to your guys immediately. Quickly doing the time conversion – a little after 6am for them – you held your breath and sent out a group message.
You [5:03pm]: I know it's early, but is anyone up? I'm touring an apartment and I want to show you all. It's great.
Jin [5:04pm]: I just got up. Can you hold on for 5 minutes so I can get the others up, and we'll call?
Jimin [5:05pm]: Hyung, I'm awake! I'll focus on getting JK up if you grab everyone else!
"Is it possible for me to look around alone for a few minutes?" You asked the leasing agent. She looked at you suspiciously, as if you were going to trash the place if she left you alone. "My partner – my soulmate," you stressed, hoping the term would sway her, "is traveling today for work and couldn't be here. I want to video chat him quick and show him around?"
As if they were summoned, your phone started to vibrate. The leasing agent gave you a small smile.
"You've got five minutes," she said, heading for the door. "I'll be right outside."
"I think this is it," you said as you answered the call, turning on your camera. You gave a shortened tour, showing off the bedrooms and bathrooms, along with the spacious common areas. They were mostly quiet, everyone but Jin and Jimin bleary eyed and barely functioning.
"It's perfect," Jin finally said when you rested against the counter, done with the tour. The others mumbled in agreement. "You should get it."
"I'll apply for it today," you told them, smiling. A knock came on the door and you quickly hung up. "He loved it," you told her. "I'd like to put in an application."
By the end of January, you'd settled into a comfortable rhythm. Your shifts at the cafe and time spent tutoring remained the same week to week. You went over to Ally and Jay's every Monday for a few hours, under the pretense of bringing dinner, but mostly to help tidy up and try to give them some time to rest. The only variation in your days was when you'd get to talk with the guys. You didn't mind it though, it gave your days variation and something to look forward to. Every time your phone buzzed, your heart beat a little faster, excited to see who was texting or calling. You were trying to adjust to the change in yourself, but it wasn't without bumps.
"Would you say that to one of us? To Ally or Jay?" Yoongi asked one day, after you had, half-joking, called yourself pathetic for the way you clung to your phone in anticipation of communication.
"No, of course not."
"Then don't say it to yourself."
So you tried to be kinder to yourself. Instead of pathetic or clingy, you tried words like excited and hopeful. And, you reminded yourself, it wasn't as if your soulmates were across the city and you could see them whenever you wanted. Until they flew out in the spring, texts, calls, and video chats were the crux of your relationship.
It also helped that they seemed to be experiencing the same communication clinginess. The group chat grew more hectic as time went on, beginning to more closely resemble your soulmates' chaotic way of interacting in person rather than a sensible conversation. Jungkook, who the guys had deemed the worst texter amongst them, had upped his interactions both in the group chat and in his personal messages. Jin teased him a lot about that, observing that you apparently were a good reason to pick up the phone, but a decade of friendship wasn't.
Despite all this, sleeping proved to be a struggle. Every time you went to lay down, something in you ached to be back with your soulmates. It didn't matter if you had just hung up a call, the moment you laid down to sleep, you missed them exponentially more. For the first two weeks, you found yourself tossing and turning for extended periods of time before you were able to sleep. Each night, you longed to have them near you, feeling an arm wrapped around you as you slept, or even just hear the clacking of Namjoon's keyboard and knowing he was near. Though you were sure they would pick up if you called, you didn't want to disturb them during the peak of their work days. So you found your own solution. A few nights after you talked Jungkook to sleep, you wondered if hearing their voices would be enough to lull you to sleep. Grabbing your phone, you quickly added a few of their songs to a playlist – the softer, slower ones – before putting it on a timer and laying back down. The last thing you remembered from that night was how Jin, Tae, Jimin, and Jungkook's voices blended together as they sang again and again So show me, I'll show you.
You jolted awake. Heart racing and breaths labored, you looked around your dark room. You were alone. That was wrong. The only thing you could think about was Hoseok. You needed to talk to him, to see him. Now.
Fumbling in the dark for your phone, you ignored the blinding light as you searched for Hoseok's number in a panic. As the phone rang, you tried to focus on the time difference, trying to guess what he would be doing at nearly 3pm Korea time, just praying that he'd pick up. He didn't though, the call going to voicemail after several rings. You hung up, knowing that he didn't even have a personalized answering machine, so you wouldn't even be able to hear his voice. Hanging up, the tightness in your chest grew. You knew what panic attacks felt like, but this wasn't one.
Your phone rang. It was Hoseok, softly calling your name. You were struggling to breathe.
"Are you there?" He asked as you tried to find your voice. "Did you call me by mistake?"
"I'm here, I'm here, Hoseok."
"What's the matter? You should be asleep now. Are you okay?"
"I don't know. Can we-can we video chat?"
As Hoseok's face appeared on the screen, you felt the iron grip on your heart lessen and you could breathe a little easier. Sure, he was thousands of miles away, but you could hear his voice and see his face and he felt a little closer because of it.
"What's going on?" He asked, his face set in worry.
"I don't really know. I woke up and the only thing I could think about was you. It felt like someone had ripped my heart out and shipped it to Seoul." Now that you were calm enough to think about the last few minutes, it was frightening. "I don't know if I had a dream or a nightmare. But I woke up and I just…I needed you?"
"Me too," Hoseok admitted with a sigh. He ran his hand through his hair, which you noticed for the first time was messy and sweaty. "I mean, I need you too."
"Where are you right now?" You didn't recognize the gray tiles behind your soulmate.
"A bathroom. I was working with the others on choreography when I heard my phone go off. I knew you wouldn't be calling right now unless there was a problem, so I made everyone take a break."
"I should let you get back."
"I can stay for a little longer," he insisted.
"Hoseok," you whispered after a few moments, sleepiness starting to wash over you. He just smiled, encouraging you to continue. "I changed my mind. I want more with you. I want to be your soulmate."
The next morning, as you tidied the espresso machine after the morning rush, a delivery man entered the cafe, carrying a large vase of daffodils and purple asters. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched him talk with your coworker, who pointed at you. The delivery man approached you, and read your name off a card.
"That's me."
"Then these are for you," he said, carefully placing the flowers on the counter in front of you and walking away.
You inspected the flowers, finding a small card:
For my soulmate
– JHS
"From the soulmate?" Josie called, stepping out from the back office. Your coworker had apparently told her the exciting news.
"Yeah, from the soulmate," you smiled, carefully sliding the note into your pocket. You just wouldn't say which.
A/N: Holy crap, there 100 of you following this blog now? That's a lot and I feel like I need to do something to celebrate, but I don't know what.
