#x. rowan.

[7mplications]

inspired by : homewrecker by sombr ! | @indiestarter open to : m / nb . muse : rowan ellis .

" i don't wanna talk down on your lover , " sucking in a tentative breath , eyes gazing over at the other as rowan studies features , attempting to get their thoughts straight . " i don't wanna be a homewrecker , but i just know i can be better . " last words expressed slightly - of course , twanged with a short sense of desperation .

[7mplications]

@indiestarter , open to : m ( age gaps are encouraged ) !

" you know , i've never been to someone's house after a first date before . you don't plan on killing me , right ? "

[7mplications]

@rayofhcpe !

it's a hesitant feeling , at least , to rowan it is . to date after being divorced , that is . they know that it's not unusual for them to do this , yet , with the constant busying of their art gallery opening up again , their need to paint to truly distract themselves from the pain that still harbors in their chest from their ending marriage - going out on a blind date wasn't . . . well , it wasn't in their cards , at least , not at the moment , it wasn't . deep down , rowan knows that they're not ready for this , blind dating - whatever it is , the fulfillment of being with a stranger because of their friends pairing them up & saying nothing about it , perhaps , except for a name .

deep down , rowan knows that they should've said no or at least , rescheduled - told the stranger that something came up , however , they're there . already gotten themselves ready , taken themselves to the restaurant of where the date would be , feeling hesitant - merely sick to their stomach at the thought of doing this so fast , as if they were trying to get rid of the memory of their marriage , which , of course , they know takes time - but in this sense ? it feels different , like they're replacing their ex husband , which might be true , although , rowan wasn't ready to say goodbye yet . or were they ? uneven breaths as they're placing their hand on the handle , getting themselves into the building , that was the first thing they needed to do . why did the thought of doing this make them feel sick ? nonetheless , as the bravery struck in their bones , rowan steps inside , telling the host about their . . date - meeting , whatever it was . only then , rowan had been guided to a table , the anxiety flowing along as they're mentally reminding themselves to be better , their eyes on the stranger as they're contemplating words to say to the other .

" uh , ray ? " their voice is shaky , goosebumps along their skin as they're hoping that they're not wrong in this situation . " i'm rowan , my friends set us up on this . . . blind date ? " wry chuckle comes out , eyes glancing at the empty seat across from the other . " mind if i sit ? "