#x. study

[fckinhcklebrry]

thinking about the incredulousness of that "no" when olive garden asks if he ever gets used to people dying. like of course not, there is no getting used to that. and if there is? that's a dark place to be.

and I think it's so important that Dennis is admitting that even though he loves this job and what he can do to help people, he still feels every loss. every up and every down. everything has weight that he will carry.

[fckinhcklebrry]

saw a post talking about how the point of this season for Dennis is to show how similar he is to how Robby used to be. finding comfort in EM, the fast pace and figuring out mystery cases, in being there for people on their worst days. and how he takes the new med students under his wing and imparts that familiar wisdom upon them. that that's how Robby was before. (even the whole befriending a single mother and being a father-like figure to their child, even if the early stages of that with Den and Amy)

and it hit me hard because you know what fucked Robby up? losing his mentor.

you know what will fuck Dennis up? going through the exact same thing.

[fckinhcklebrry]

listen okay I know some people think Dennis is going to be with Amy next season but honestly I really do not think he has any sort of romantic inclinations for her. he was pretty adamant with Santos early in the season that it wasn't like that, and even made that amazing face of near disgust at the prospect. not that Amy isn't lovely, but he's not helping out at the farm to also hook up with her. he's quite literally just that kind of person who wants to be helpful.

Santos even says that when she's talking to Robby, about how he's helping out on the farm and part of the street team, then of course working 12+ hour shifts in the ER. like he just has that need to help even at a detriment to himself. which, honestly, is probably what Javadi would have said if she was having that conversation with someone else.

but also... I do think Dennis is using Amy's farm to fill a void. he grew up on a farm, and it's something he had to leave behind when he left for college. that's a big lifestyle change. plus, imo, it also helps fill the void of missing his family as well. and getting to partly step into those shoes, to be almost part of a family again, probably feels like he's healing something but I fear it will only end up hurting him. especially if he does actually try to listen to Robby's advice and have some boundaries.

[fckinhcklebrry]

thinking about how it's probably been a decade since Dennis saw his family in person. he likely left home right at 18 to go to school, which took years to complete, he definitely couldn't afford to go back to Nebraska on his own to visit during that time. and now he's doing his first year of residency.

[fckinhcklebrry]

it is so important to me how Dennis sits next to Robby first. he doesn't see him and immediately try to get him up then leave. doesn't even really try to cheer him up to force him to feel better, or more likely force the mask back on and fake it. he gets down on his level, meets him where he's at, and then helps him to get up. it says so much about him as a person honestly and his way of helping those around him.