#xenogeneticist

[xenogeneticist]

==> Karkat: Call Gamada.

Before you can do that you need to find someplace where you can have this conversation where people can't overhear. Considering the nature of things, that place is probably in the deserted lobby of the apartment complex. You don't want to wake anyone up. The neighbours, for example.

As soon as you step out of the elevator you hit speed dial 2 and call your best friend. You pace in front of the row of chairs and potted plants as it rings, staring blindly out the tall windows at the glowing city lights.

As soon as he picks up you start in without waiting for him to speak. "Who's in your car right now, Mada?" you demand, your voice low and deadly calm. How he answers will determine his fate.

[xenogeneticist]

quality skyping tonight about brokenstuck headcanons

[27/09/2011 23:46:52] Kip: zap bap boop

[27/09/2011 23:46:58] Kip: your turn, zahhak

[27/09/2011 23:47:48] Ash: fandom secret his grandpa is analogous to darkleer skippity beep boop

[27/09/2011 23:47:59] Raybutt: jkhkhgj

[27/09/2011 23:48:08] Raybutt: NO MORE BILL COSBY

[27/09/2011 23:48:21] Ash: it makes heavy statements nicer!

[27/09/2011 23:48:39] Raybutt: n o

[27/09/2011 23:49:09] Ash: eq wants someone to fuck his mouth with a handgun zippity woop

[27/09/2011 23:49:40] Raybutt: kdjhakfhdaf

[27/09/2011 23:49:42] Raybutt: ash ASH

[27/09/2011 23:50:43] Ash: hahaha i'm just kidding dude

[27/09/2011 23:50:58] Ash: he'd settle for any hole

[27/09/2011 23:50:59] Kip: the way to access the screaming vortex of the void residing in equus's soul is through the anus diddle doo zop dee bop

[27/09/2011 23:51:13] Ash: screech

[27/09/2011 23:51:15] Raybutt: dfghjk

[27/09/2011 23:51:17] Ash: hahahaha

[27/09/2011 23:51:25] Ash: h-homestuck headcanon......

[27/09/2011 23:51:34] Raybutt: fghjkhkgjhfd

[27/09/2011 23:51:36] Raybutt: that

[27/09/2011 23:51:37] Raybutt: that is why

[27/09/2011 23:51:41] Raybutt: he can take all them dildos

[27/09/2011 23:51:48] Ash: god help us noooo

[27/09/2011 23:52:14] Kip: you could shove one alllll the way up there and it would disappear through a wormhole and fall into a cornfield in iowa

[27/09/2011 23:52:17] Ash: n nxjdfg

[27/09/2011 23:52:23] Ash: ahahaa

[27/09/2011 23:52:25] Ash: poor mada

[27/09/2011 23:52:42] Ash: kk gets a phonecall from fucking new jersey

[27/09/2011 23:52:44] Raybutt: not iowa....

[27/09/2011 23:52:50] Kip: if you fist equus you could theoretically pull out an ear of corn

[27/09/2011 23:53:06] Raybutt: adfsdghjk

[27/09/2011 23:53:16] Ash: or get teleported to a minimart in hoboken

[27/09/2011 23:54:04] Ash: 'mI cAmBaRo YoU aIn'T gOnNa BeLiEvE tHiS bUt...'

[27/09/2011 23:54:56] Kip: eventually equus becomes the resident teleportation mage

[27/09/2011 23:55:09] Kip: need a portal to spain?

[27/09/2011 23:55:12] Kip: hop on in

[27/09/2011 23:55:13] Ash: you have to finger him though

[27/09/2011 23:55:24] Kip: mada has hole duty

[27/09/2011 23:55:26] Raybutt: khjljkl

[27/09/2011 23:56:31] Ash: equus goes and quietly hangs himself

[27/09/2011 23:56:46] Raybutt: kjhgkjl;j no

[27/09/2011 23:57:25] Kip: no you fool

[27/09/2011 23:57:26] Ash: with great power comes great responsibility, rayray

[27/09/2011 23:57:35] Kip: you shall not pass

[27/09/2011 23:57:39] Raybutt: no eq

[27/09/2011 23:57:40] Raybutt: we'll die

[27/09/2011 23:57:45] Raybutt: your butt keeps us alive

[27/09/2011 23:57:55] Raybutt: it holds all that is

[27/09/2011 23:57:59] Raybutt: and all that shall be....

[27/09/2011 23:58:09] Ash: life is not worth living if he cannot be an anal slut.

[27/09/2011 23:58:11] Raybutt: you've got the whoooole wo-orld

[27/09/2011 23:58:13] Raybutt: in your ass

[27/09/2011 23:58:14] Ash: hahaha

[27/09/2011 23:58:47] Raybutt: ohh shit

[27/09/2011 23:58:50] Raybutt: this fucker has bugs in his dick!!!

[27/09/2011 23:58:56] Ash: D8

[27/09/2011 23:59:01] Ash: meeeeeeeeeh!!!!

[27/09/2011 23:59:05] Kip: http://youtu.be/FO0kRE5OTZI?t=2m36s

[27/09/2011 23:59:11] Raybutt: Raybutt squirms uncomfortably

[27/09/2011 23:59:15] Kip: i was going to make a joke about this but i cant come up with one

[27/09/2011 23:59:30] Ash: hahaha

[27/09/2011 23:59:31] Kip: but imagine mada is dr tran

[27/09/2011 23:59:40] Ash: HOT DICKINGS

[0:00:04] Ash: JUST HANDIN EM OUT

[0:00:19] Ash: akjsdjfg

[0:00:25] Ash: SCREAM

[0:00:28 | Edited 0:00:36] Raybutt: all i've got is an ad

[0:00:40] Ash: hickory smoked horse buttholes

[0:02:39] Ash: from a cup

[0:02:42] Ash: u w u

[0:02:49] Raybutt: GIRLS ARE GRODY

[0:03:25] Ash: HiCkOrY sMoKeD iS sO cRaZy WhAt's WrOnG wItH yOu!!! :o(

[0:03:42] Ash: that voice over is mada's schizophrenia voices

[0:03:57] Ash: ALL MY CHAIRS

[0:03:59] Ash: ARE GONE!

[0:04:05] Raybutt: HKJGJK

[0:04:12] Ash: i can't eat breakfast anymore

[0:04:16] Ash: Do:

[0:04:27] Raybutt: FDLSJFDL

[0:04:28] Raybutt: WHAT

[0:04:33] Raybutt: YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY

[0:04:36] Raybutt: HOW DOES THAT MAKE

[0:04:37] Raybutt: EVIL

[0:04:37] Raybutt: WHAT

[0:05:02] Ash: dude tho

[0:05:05] Raybutt: i

[0:05:09] Ash: mada is all up for horse buttholes

[0:05:10] Raybutt: i am laughing so hard

[0:05:12] Raybutt: i'm crying

[0:05:45] Raybutt: help me i can't

[0:05:48] Raybutt: ;; ;;

[0:06:23] Kip: quality skype tonight

[0:06:31] Raybutt: sobbing

[0:06:42] Raybutt: dr tran is a qt

[0:07:00] Kip: he is

[0:07:22] Ash: It'S nO tHiNg BrOtHER YOU JUST MAKE MY TEETH HURT SO BAD! Do:

[0:07:47] Ash: mada please.

[0:08:07] Raybutt: how did you find my village

[0:08:10] Raybutt: PLEASE STOP TALKING

[0:08:36] Raybutt: you're telling lies

[0:08:40] Raybutt: THAT WAS MORE THAN 10 LIES

[0:09:30] Ash: hahahaha

[0:10:10] Ash: mada just wails that sad whale family gibberish when he meets dave

[0:10:18] Ash: YOU'RE A BAD MAN

[0:10:23] Raybutt:  I HA'E YOU

[0:10:26] Ash: THERE ARE NO WINDOWS IN YOUR HOUSE

[0:10:34] Raybutt: I HAVE NO CHAIRS LEFT

[0:10:43] Kip: Kip is choking on his rice

[0:11:04] Raybutt: STOP TALKING

[0:11:40] Ash: just

[0:11:47] Ash: starts screaming

[0:11:54] Raybutt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbyExPu8BRY mada

[0:13:06] Ash: haHAHAGHAHAHS

[0:13:07] Kip: is he the chicken

[0:13:09] Raybutt: this is my headcanon tav and gam broship txt it

[0:13:14] Ash: hahahahahahaha

[0:13:14] Kip: CHRIST

[0:13:19] Ash: DON'T BE ANGRY

[0:13:37] Ash: just chases tav around

[0:13:45] Raybutt: dljld

[0:13:45] Ash: tav wheeling for his life

[0:13:49] Kip: i am

[0:13:50] Raybutt: ljhfdsfsjf

[0:13:55] Raybutt: I'M SOBBING

[0:13:56] Raybutt: HELP ME

[0:13:58] Kip: so looking forward to this in the rp

[0:14:08] Kip: i cant even begin to PUT THAT ON THE TIMELINE

[0:14:08] Ash: JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET YOU ON SOME SAND BITCH

[0:14:12] Ash: OR SOME GRAVEL

[0:14:14] Ash: I DON'T KNOW

[0:14:33] Raybutt: dsfsfsfds

[0:14:57] Ash: oooh ray you should write up mada's poweeers!!

[0:15:05] Kip: - Mada and Tyler become acquainted

[0:15:05] Kip:* Tyler loses some tire tread this day.

[0:15:05] Raybutt: wait

[0:15:05] Raybutt: hang on

[0:15:08] Raybutt: too busy

[0:15:10] Raybutt: laughing about chicken

[0:15:17] Ash: his crazy flash stepping and all

[0:15:49] Ash: oh god poor tyler

[0:15:59] Ash: and you thought you were having a bad day

[0:16:24] Raybutt: wait i'm confuse

[0:16:30] Ash: o: ?

[0:17:11] Kip: because you burned yourself?

[0:17:29] Raybutt: vicodin

[0:17:33] Raybutt: things are going slow

[0:17:36] Raybutt: what about mada and tyler?

[0:18:07] Ash: mada should chase him around the lawn u w u

[0:18:25] Raybutt: YES

[0:18:26] Raybutt: fjkdsaf

[0:18:31] Ash: oh wow have fun remembering making out with his corpse mada

[0:19:22] Ash: tell v you want to rip off her boyfriend's head and suck face with it u w u

[0:19:48] Raybutt: afdafg

[0:19:52] Raybutt: yea ok

[xenogeneticist]

possibly non-canon chatlog under the cut, just keeping it safe for now

[4:11:37] Ash: i do want to see katran's reaction when he hears from cat that mada nearly murderated her mewrail

[4:12:01] Gamada Manolo: what's he gonna think about that.......

[4:16:06] Katran Venkatesan: first thought he swats him with a rolled up magazine

[4:16:55] Katran Venkatesan: SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MADA.

[4:17:02] Katran Venkatesan: EMPHASIS ON THE SAFE.

[4:17:39] Gamada Manolo: wHaT iT wAs CoNsEnSuAl He AlL gEtS oFf On ThAt ShIt.

[4:18:05] Katran Venkatesan: LOOK I'M NOT GOING TO QUESTION THAT NOR DO I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE GETS OFF ON.

[4:18:26] Gamada Manolo: hE lIkEs WhEn I lIcK hIs BuTt :o)

[4:18:29] Katran Venkatesan: THE FUCKING POINT HERE IS THAT YOU NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL.

[4:18:34] Katran Venkatesan: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHFSDFDSA

[4:18:41] Katran Venkatesan: GODDAMNIT

[4:18:41] Gamada Manolo: It'S hAiRy!

[4:18:46] Katran Venkatesan: NONONONONO

[4:18:51] Katran Venkatesan: I AM NOT LISTENING.

[4:18:56] Katran Venkatesan: THIS IS ME NOT LISTENING TO YOU.

[4:19:01] Gamada Manolo: AnD bIg AnD i LiKe To HoLd It!!!

[4:19:07] Katran Venkatesan: I AM LITERALLY

[4:19:09] Katran Venkatesan: NOT LOOKING

[4:19:16] Katran Venkatesan: STOP

[4:19:20] Katran Venkatesan: STOP TYPING

[4:19:26] Gamada Manolo: BuT hE aIn'T nIcE tO hOlD lIkE yOu

[4:19:28] Katran Venkatesan: I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT PENCIL GOING.

[4:19:34] Katran Venkatesan: ...

[4:19:39] Katran Venkatesan: WELL.

[4:20:08] Gamada Manolo: ExCePt MaYbE hIs BuTt.

[4:20:13] Katran Venkatesan: SIGH.

[4:20:29] Katran Venkatesan: LOOK IT'S 4:20 AM

[4:20:34] Katran Venkatesan: GO CELEBRATE.

[4:20:39] Gamada Manolo: Oh Be RiGhT bAcK

[4:20:42] Katran Venkatesan: AND LET ME RECOVER FROM THESE MENTAL IMAGES.

[4:21:19] Gamada Manolo: hE's HoT!!

[4:21:26] Gamada Manolo: bUt YoU mAkE bEtTeR fAcEs

[4:21:33] Katran Venkatesan: :I

[4:22:00] Katran Venkatesan: CAN WE PLEASE NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR SEXLIFE WITH THIS MAN.

[4:22:08] Gamada Manolo: HaHaHa

[4:22:14] Gamada Manolo: WhAt JeAlOuS?

[4:22:19] Katran Venkatesan: NO, DISGUSTED.

[4:22:22] Gamada Manolo: yOu KnOw YoU mY nUmBeR oNe!

[4:22:57] Katran Venkatesan: MADA SOMETIMES I QUESTION THE LOFTINESS OF THAT RANK WHEN YOU FILL YOUR BED WITH SUCH

[4:22:58] Katran Venkatesan: INTERESTING

[4:22:59] Katran Venkatesan: PEOPLE.

[4:23:09] Gamada Manolo: WhAt?

[4:23:17] Gamada Manolo: DoN't Be So DoWn On YoUrSeLf!

Katran Venkatesan SLOWMOTION FACEPALMS

[4:24:13] Gamada Manolo: HeY cAn I bE cOmInG fOr A vIsIt?

[4:24:18] Gamada Manolo: :o)

[4:24:20] Katran Venkatesan: WHAT FOR

[4:24:27] Gamada Manolo: YoU kNoW!!

[4:24:34] Gamada Manolo: sO yOu CaN fUcK mE!

[4:24:52] Katran Venkatesan: {direct isnt he

[4:25:08] Gamada Manolo: well yeah!!))

[4:25:09] Ash: (lololol)

[4:25:45] Katran Venkatesan: I'M NOT SURE IF THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

[4:25:53] Gamada Manolo: wHy NoT?

[4:26:06] Gamada Manolo: yOu GoT cOmPaNy Or SoMe ShIt

[4:27:26] Katran Venkatesan: I DON'T HAVE COMPANY OVER RIGHT NOW, NO.

[4:27:39] Gamada Manolo: tHeN wHaT iS bEiNg ThE pRoBlEm?

[4:28:05] Katran Venkatesan: WELL I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE HEARD

[4:28:16] Katran Venkatesan: MOSTLY BECAUSE I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU

[4:28:33] Gamada Manolo: HuH? :oO

[4:28:41] Gamada Manolo: yOu KeEpInG sEcretS?

[4:28:41] Katran Venkatesan: BUT I'M KIND OF IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW?

[4:28:42] Ash: (I AM THE PREGNANTS.)

[4:28:44] Katran Venkatesan: I THINK?

[4:28:48] Gamada Manolo: ...oh.

[4:28:56] Gamada Manolo: HaHaHaHahahaha

[4:29:14] Gamada Manolo: GoOd for yoU bRo

[4:29:43] Gamada Manolo: YoU bE enjoyinG tHaT.

[4:29:55] Gamada Manolo: and this is when he calls eq over and gets his nose broke again OOPS))

[4:30:44] Ash: equus zahakis you are dumb and probably shouldn't hold the key to the universe's destruction in your death))

[4:31:00] Katran Venkatesan: {u vu

[4:31:24] Katran Venkatesan: ... YOU OKAY?

[4:31:43] Gamada Manolo: hAhAha why the mOTHERFUck woulDn'T i Be? :o)

[4:31:58] Gamada Manolo: I'm HaPpY for mE.

[4:32:24] Katran Venkatesan: YOU MEAN ME

[4:32:28] Katran Venkatesan: RIGHT?

[4:32:31] Gamada Manolo: oH hAhA

[4:32:40] Gamada Manolo: yEaH that'S wHaT i MeAnT

[4:32:55] Gamada Manolo: wAsN't PayinG aTtEnioN hAhA.

[4:33:11] Katran Venkatesan: LOOK MAN

[4:33:14] Katran Venkatesan: I KNOW YOU.

[4:33:33] Katran Venkatesan: AND WE'VE ALREADY HAD SHIT OVER THIS BEFORE.

[4:33:49] Gamada Manolo: hAhA iT's FiNe

[4:33:55] Gamada Manolo: you bE hApPy.

[4:34:06] Gamada Manolo: I wAnT you tO bE hApPy.

[4:34:31] Katran Venkatesan: IS THERE ANY REASON WHY THIS WOULD MAKE YOU UNHAPPY?

[4:34:42] Gamada Manolo: WhY wouLd It.

[4:35:05] Katran Venkatesan: I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU'RE ACTING LIKE IT.

[4:35:26] Gamada Manolo: HaHaHa

[4:35:31] Gamada Manolo: you'Re PaRaNoId

[4:35:40] Katran Venkatesan: :/

[4:36:33] Gamada Manolo: what?

[4:37:21] Katran Venkatesan: THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE SEX, IS IT.

[4:37:56] Gamada Manolo: iT aIn'T.

[4:38:06] Gamada Manolo: it aiN't NoThIn'.

[4:38:59] Katran Venkatesan: MADA, YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

[4:39:16] Katran Venkatesan: I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T TRUST ME.

[4:41:03] Gamada Manolo: HaHaHa YoU bE hapPy MoThErFuCker.

[4:41:59] Gamada Manolo: GuEsS i CaN't be cAlLiNg YoU mi cAmBaRo AnYmOre.

[4:42:09] Katran Venkatesan: WHY NOT?

[4:42:26] Katran Venkatesan: WHO THE FUCK ELSE IS GOING TO CALL ME CÁMBARO?

[4:43:35] Gamada Manolo: YeAh CaN't AdD "mI" tHough HaHahonk.

[4:45:07] Katran Venkatesan: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE USING IT LIKE THAT. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST LIKE I CALL YOU "MY" BEST FRIEND, BECAUSE YOU'RE MINE AND I'M YOURS.

[4:45:21] Katran Venkatesan: I NEVER BELONGED TO YOU ROMANTICALLY, DID I

[4:45:27] Katran Venkatesan: YOU NEVER FELT THAT WAY FOR ME

[4:45:44] Katran Venkatesan: SO I DON'T GET WHY YOU'RE SUDDENLY GETTING SENTIMENTAL OVER IT.

[4:46:44] Gamada Manolo: nO i DiDn'T mEaN iT - HaHaHa NeVeRminD.

[4:48:42] Katran Venkatesan: GOD I FEEL LIKE SHIT NOW.

[4:49:02] Katran Venkatesan: BUT THAT'S BULL, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO

[4:49:05] Katran Venkatesan: FUCK.

[4:50:30] Gamada Manolo: nO mAn I sHoULDn'T hAVe SaId ShIt

[4:51:10] Gamada Manolo: i am haPpY fOr YoU.

[4:52:12] Gamada Manolo: jUsT doN't go.

[4:52:19] Katran Venkatesan: WHERE WOULD I GO?

[4:53:09] Katran Venkatesan: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GOING TO START DATING SOMEONE AND THEN POOF, I'M GONE.

[4:53:44] Katran Venkatesan: I'M STILL GOING TO COME OVER TO YOUR PLACE ON TUESDAYS TO HANG OUT, SAME AS ALWAYS.

[4:54:04] Katran Venkatesan: AND EVEN IF I GOT PLANS ON TUESDAY I'LL JUST MAKE TIME SOME OTHER DAY.

[4:54:35] Katran Venkatesan: I MEAN, YEAH, WE'RE NOT GOING TO FUCK AROUND ANYMORE AND I CAN SEE WHY THAT WOULD SUCK FOR YOU

[4:55:00] Katran Venkatesan: I GUESS YOU CAN JUST TEACH YOUR NEW FRIEND THOSE TRICKS.

[4:55:07] Katran Venkatesan: I'M SURE YOU'LL MANAGE.

[4:55:14] Katran Venkatesan: BUT I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

[4:55:16] Gamada Manolo: HaHaHa YeAh

[4:56:02] Gamada Manolo: OkAy GoOd

[4:57:26] Katran Venkatesan: GOOD. GLAD WE TALKED.

[5:20:20] Gamada Manolo: brb

[5:20:48] Katran Venkatesan: i feel like that chatlog should go on official record or something