#xfactor56

[gaknar]

Welp, Jean comes crawling back after only two issues, after an appearance with Forge and Banshee over in Uncanny X-Men #261-263. Scott is so suffocating here. Like, his concern isn’t “Jesus your clothes got destroyed??? Are you ok???” It’s “Ohmygod you’re not wearing what you were wearing the last time I saw you!!! Did someone see you naked??? Who did you have sex with!!! Was it Longshot??? Did you have sex with Longshot??? Are you still my girlfriend??!! Are you still going to change my baby’s diapers like you’re supposed to??!!” Every day she stays with him I lose more respect for her. (X-Factor #56 – July 1990)

[gaknar]

Omg watching the original X-Men deal with relationship problems is tedious. But I guess this is what happens when you get groomed as a teenager and turned into a child soldier by a toxic guardian figure. The fact that none of these people can seem to hold down a healthy relationship is telling. Just look at Jean here with Trish Tilby’s camera guy falling out the hospital window while eavesdropping on shit that is clearly none of their business.

Mind your own toxic relationship, Jean! (X-Factor #56 – July 1990)

[gaknar]

Jesus just what is going on in this guy’s memories??? Did he drive his maid to blow her brains out after serving him one last meal?? And look at that tranquil look on her face.

She looks like a maid at the Overlook Hotel. Like, there’s probably a dog person right behind her encouraging her to kill herself. This vampire soul sucker thought he was going in for a grizzled piece of overcooked ribeye but instead he got a lightly warmed slice of salt crusted prime rib seasoned with caramelized onions and the sweet melancholy of the damned, paired with a frolic-y glass of 60 year old cabernet. Whew! Too bad Angel cuts his god damned head off, which, it turns out, is the only way to kill these fucking soul vampires.

They are kind of like inverse Highlanders. You can only kill them by cutting their heads off, but when you do the rest of them get weaker instead of stronger. Hey you dumb yuppie New York vampires!! If you’re only weakness is getting your god damn heads cut off, maybe don’t try to fight the guy with the gigantic knives growing out of his back! Regardless, pretty cool scene here where this guy gets decapitated and turns into fire and you can see a little splotch of fire where his decapitated head landed. Well played, Warren. (X-Factor #56 – July 1990)

[gaknar]

Aw these soul sucking vampires are nothing like Selene like I thought. They are nowhere near as interesting. Selene is a complete bad ass that runs one of the edgiest S and M clubs in New York while these guys can’t even get into a decent bar. Look at them all sitting around drinking the same glasses of iced tea, preying upon drunk sorority sisters and balding tax accountants. They aren’t even hurling insults to each other’s faces like the Hellfire Club does. They just think about the insults and maybe say some shit behind each other’s backs. What a bunch of D-listers. They aren’t even in their underwear! (X-Factor #56 – July 1990)

[gaknar]

We’ve been blessed with a series of decent X-Factor comics dealing with a harrowing battle between Archangel and Sabertooth and the consequences that followed, but I didn’t expect the quality to last very long, and if I remember correctly I don’t think this story progression with a group of villains named the Ravens is very good. I mean, I think I had this comic as a kid and I might have read it once but I sure don’t remember anything about it. Also this cover looks almost exactly like the one from issue #51 a few months ago so it’s nice to see the writers vigorously milking this edgy new character of theirs. (X-Factor #56 – July 1990)