#xkcd 496

[yesterdays-xkcd]

He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle

Secretary: Part 3 [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

Narration: The confirmation hearings begin... [Four Senators sit behind a table.] Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.

[Black Hat sits behind a desk.] Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks? Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces.

Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?

Black Hat: Got three mimes, too.

Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed? Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!

Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?

Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.

Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?

Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista. Which I won, by the way.

[Senators look down at their notes.]

Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine? Black Hat: I plead the third

Senator: You mean the fifth? Black Hat: No, the third.

Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house? Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.

Narration: Meanwhile... [Aboard Ron Paul's blimp.] Ponytail: We're nearing Washington, sir. Ponytail: Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.

Ponytail: It's a balloon. Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.