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Ok so I freak out about being watched. Recently my school told us to bring our netbooks in for repair using scare tactics (they “won’t work” unless we do so) and I gave mine in. When I got it back, nothing had changed, only I’d noticed a new program running. As with all the other programs my school had put on there, I spent a good few hours looking into it and it was spyware. I instantly broke down and my parents couldn’t understand why it bothered me to the point of crying nonstop for days -xky

xky part 2 This isn’t the first time they’ve done this, as the antivirus they put on our netbooks can also be used for spying too (it can even track your location and compares you to other students). I’ve managed to corrupt both to the point at which they’re basically harmless, but is it normal to spend excessive periods of time researching this stuff, and being so scared of it that it really affects you? Am I just being really paranoid? There’s no councillor in my school to talk to. :’)

Hi xky,

I'm sorry you've been feeling paranoid and anxious about being watched. When it comes to anxiety - there is nothing that's "not normal" to be worried about. In this day and age and with the political climate we've been finding out a lot about our online info being monitored and electronic surveillance so it's definitely something on a lot of people's minds and I think many of us feel some degree of anxiety about the concept. It does sound like your anxiety around this issue is becoming a problem in terms of how much it's affecting you and impairing your day to day activities and happiness. Again though, even this is not abnormal. For those of us with anxiety, regardless of what our anxiety latches onto, it can feel like it's taking over your life but it doesn't have to, you deserve to be comfortable and anxiety-free!

My first suggestion would definitely be some sort of counselling. You don't have a school counsellor as you say but would it be possible to speak with your parents about seeking counselling outside of school? If you think that could work I highly encourage seeking out some support in that way. We have a great page here on getting help with tips on how to reach out. You could also see if there are youth centres or community centres in your area that offer free counselling. Otherwise, finding someone you trust to speak to about your worries can be a tremendous relief - you don't have to carry those fears around alone. A family member, trusted teacher, or even a close friend could be options there. If counselling is currently not possible, there are things you can do to manage your anxiety yourself. We have an informational page about anxiety here that has lots of good information. It also has links for help with anxiety. Here is another page with techniques for calming anxiety and panic.

Something else you may want to do is speak with your doctor. Your doctor can sometimes help with referals to therapists or counsellors but they can also speak to you about medication. Some people find taking medication for their anxiety can be very beneficial. Your doctor can speak to you about different medications and whether they would be helpful for you.

As for what's going on with your netbook - that definitely sounds frightening. I too would be uncomfortable finding out my school installed spyware on my computer. Is it a school-assigned netbook? If it is, while uncomfortable, is something fairly common for schools to monitor usage of their computers. If it is your own personal netbook not given to you by the school then that seems like it would be something questionable legally and certainly ethically. If that is the case, I would consider discussing it with your parents and perhaps receiving legal advice about what your rights are.

I hope you are able to find relief for your feelings of anxiety and wish you the best!

Siyah

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