UsUk Christmas Exchange
This is a story for @bitter-artist for @xmas-usukexchange2016! You had a few suggestions for AUs in your prompt, so I decided to go with the soulmate one. I also made sure nothing ended sadly and I hope it’ll make you smile. I really hope you like it and I’m perfectly willing to do it over again if you don’t. Enjoy!
Rating: G
Word count: 1800
Title: Pineapples
Arthur had always been fond of the writing on his arm. Not the words themselves, but the font it was in. It was a beautiful cursive with dips, curves, and loops. The words couldn’t have been an even more horrible match for the font. Seriously, it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever seen on anybody’s arm. Some people got “Sorry, I didn’t see you there” or “Wow, you’re eyes are pretty” or something else like that. Did Arthur have that on his arm? No. Of course he didn’t. That would be too perfect. Instead he got what may be the stupidest first words anyone has ever spoken.
“Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten the pineapple”
Yeah, there it was. That was written on his left arm. Glorious, isn’t it? No, it really wasn’t. Arthur had always questioned the writing on his arm. Firstly, what kind of idiot says that as their first words to someone? Secondly, what the hell led up to that? What were the specific circumstances that led up to a person saying this to another person?! You don’t just walk up to some random guy and say something about pineapples! It just didn’t make any bloody sense!
Right, straying from the whole point, let’s just get back to that. Arthur didn’t mind how society was. He found it rather annoying, but endearing at the same time. Everybody got their soulmate’s first words to them written on their left arm. They lived life and waited for their soulmate to come along. Some people did this differently than others. Most people would just live their everyday life and eventually run into their soulmate. Others packed up a few suitcases and traveled the world looking for their soulmate.
There was a beauty to it. It didn’t matter which path you chose, either way you and your soulmate would find each other. Arthur had heard so many stories about people finding each other. One couple had found each other in a grocery store. They’d both been reaching for a peanut butter jar and apologized to each other at the same time. Those two now lived in Chicago with three kids and a dog. Others had met during marathons, sports events, dances, and one had met while skydiving.
You know what none of them had done though? Met because of a bloody pineapple. Not a one of the people Arthur had spoken to ever had fruit as their first words. It was just him. Okay, maybe Arthur was getting worked up over nothing. Maybe Arthur should just calm down and try to look on the bright side of this. Oh, wait, there was no bright side! That’s right; he had almost forgotten how this whole situation seemed to be missing its bright side. A reminder was exactly what he needed. So please, continue to remind him how idiotic the words on his arm were. It’s not like he didn’t do that already.
Besides, it’s not like Arthur was completely trying to avoid meeting his soulmate. He had just been…creatively busy the past few years. He’d joined the navy straight out of high school, served six years with them, and had been recently relieved of duty. He had travelled the world, giving ample opportunity for just about anyone with a pineapple to show up. If he was being frank, however, the times they spent stationed on tropical islands always got him worked up.
Arthur had spent about a month in his apartment after getting back from his time of service. It was nice to just relax and not be needed or have to wake up before the sun. Not that he woke up particularly late anyway, it was just nice to be able to sleep in if he wanted to. Plus, being such a young veteran sure had its perks when he was looking for one night stands.
Anyway, there hadn’t been much meeting of women lately. Arthur had been holed up in his apartment for about a week and half, after all. That was going to change today! Arthur had plans to go out and just enjoy the day. It was rather beautiful out despite the cold weather. Arthur pulled on his jacket and cast one more glance at his apartment. If he was being completely honest, then he would say he didn’t want to go out today. There was, however, the annoyingly inconvenient need of food to fill his empty kitchen. So, Arthur nodded firmly and stepped out of the apartment, ready to make just a quick trip to the grocery store and be back in no time.
--
Yeah, maybe it didn’t work out like that. At all. In any way possible. In fact, the day had gone in an entirely opposite direction than he had planned. It hadn’t been too bad, until he was walking home from the grocery store. Alright, maybe he shouldn’t have been answering that text while he was walking. Still, it was obviously the other guy’s fault for not looking where he was going.
So, just to reiterate, it definitely wasn’t Arthur’s fault that he was currently lying on the pavement of the sidewalk and staring up at a cloud that kind of looked like a mermaid. Arthur sighed and contemplated, for no more than a moment, just continuing to lie there and let everything else move on around him. He would have, too, until he felt the uncomfortable pain in his stomach.
He sighed and slowly let his eyes move to his stomach. What he saw made him want to scream. A pineapple. Sticking out of his stomach. The spiky leaves were pushed through the fabric of his shirt and poking his stomach. Dear god. Did this mean that whoever had just stabbed him with a fruit was his soulmate? Really?! That’s how this was happening!?
Arthur nodded a little, resigning himself to his fate, and slowly sits up. A hand was offered to him and he hesitantly took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. He looked at the person attached to the hand and forced himself to not do a double take.
Firstly, this man was a good bit taller than Arthur was. Now, usually Arthur didn’t pay too much attention to height, but he found himself liking that the other was tall. Secondly, this man had the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. These eyes had to be bluer than those ocean stock photos people see of the Caribbean. He had glasses on over them, which were being covered a little by his hair. Sandy blond hair that looked soft to the touch and, for some reason, Arthur really wanted to run his hands through it.
Arthur almost stuttered over the words that were bubbling up his throat, and then he remembered that this guy had been the cause of the pineapple in his stomach. Then he got angry again and he jerked his hand away. “Did you really just stab me with a bloody pineapple?!” he demanded, scowling and crossing his arms while he glared at the other. The guy blinked and looked down at his left arm, a huge smile forming on his face.
“Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten the pineapple,” he replied jokingly. Arthur felt his heart skip a beat and he instinctively looked down at his arm, feeling those damned words give off a reassuring heat. He looked back up, knowing full well that he was looking into the eyes of his soulmate. “Hi, the name’s Alfred Jones. Nice to meet ya, soulmate,” the guy said, holding his hand out.
Arthur looked at it for a few seconds before taking it and shaking hands with Alfred. “Arthur Kirkland. And I can’t very well say it’s nice meeting you, considering I had to be stabbed with a fruit to get here,” he replied, pulling his hand back. Arthur looked at the ground and noticed his groceries scattered across the sidewalk. “Just great,” he muttered to himself, crouching down again so he could pick them up.
“Oh, let me help you with that,” Alfred sais, getting down on his knees and grabbing the grocery items closest to him. Arthur glanced at him and couldn’t help but think that maybe he wasn’t all that bad. He picked up the last of his groceries and put them into the canvas bag he normally used for shopping. “Hey, why don’t you let me carry that? It’s the least I could do,” Alfred offered.
Arthur looked between his bag and the once again outstretched hand. He got up from the pavement and pulled Alfred up before putting the bag in his hand. “Thank you, I appreciate it,” he said truthfully, flashing Alfred a quick smile.
“No problem! It’s the least a hero can do,” he replied, his grin getting wider as he holds Arthur’s bag as well as his own. Arthur chuckled when Alfred calls himself a hero, finding it a little endearing. “So, where are we going with this?”
Arthur cleared his throat and just then noticed the people who had stopped and were staring at them. He blushed lightly and cleared his throat again. “Back to my apartment, since that’s where I was headed anyway,” he replied, turning on his heel and walking away. It occurred to him that he probably should have checked to see if Alfred was following. He doesn’t have to, however, because Alfred shows up next to him a second later.
“You know, this will be a funny story to tell people later. We met because I crashed into you with a pineapple,” Alfred pointed out. Arthur chuckled and nodded a little.
“I suppose you’re right there,” Arthur agreed. Alfred nodded and a silence fell over them. An uncomfortable one that made Arthur wrack his brain for something to say. “So, what do you do for a living?” he asked, internally cringing at how awkward it sounded.
Alfred blinked and smiles blindingly at him. “I’m a cop. Off duty right now,” he explained.
“Really? I spent a few years in the navy, though, I’m sure the two give completely different experiences.”
“Probably, but that’s pretty impressive. You don’t really seem the military type.”
“Well, you certainly seem the donut-addicted cop type.” Arthur promptly shut up after saying that. Honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if Alfred got offended because of that. It was rather rude. Instead, Alfred laughed and had to stop for a moment to catch his breath.
After that, the conversation flowed smoothly between the two. Arthur was happy to have the big goofball as a soulmate, even though he had the horrible habit of eating fast food for lunch nearly everyday. In the end, he decided that Alfred was right. They’ll definitely have a unique story to tell people about how they met.
