It's interesting when we look back at the beginning of our system discovery; from when we first got dxed with DID to now; and how far we've come working through dissociative barriers, amnesia and poor communication.
We were thinking about the steps we took that made the biggest differences and a few come to mind but one shift in particular stands out.
The shift from viewing our plurality as a result of our DID and trauma to viewing the differing trauma responses within our already plural system as the manifestations of DID made a world of difference for us.
[Kind of a long post. Our personal experience under the cut]
Attributing our system and those in it as resulting from the severe abuse we were put through just never rang true to us. We would be plural whether or not we endured what we did. Singlethood is an extremely foreign and dysphoric concept to us and 'final fusion' (obviously not the only healing option for DID but one that was pushed hard in many CDD spaces we started off in) never felt like a healthy or viable option for us personally.
So we personally changed how we conceptualized our DID. We started viewing the collective negative symptoms that we experienced from DID; the dissociation, derealization, amnesia, lack of internal communication, barriers, etc; as the differing manifestations of PTSD throughout our system. Because there were definitely differing manifestations of PTSD within out system. Sometimes conflicting manifestations of PTSD which was really destabilizing.
This shift helped us tremendously. We shifted away from identifying roles within our system and describing individuals as what job we thought they did to 'maintain a sense of functioning' and moved to a therapy model that addressed each individual in our system and their unique expressions of PTSD. Working on developing personalized coping skills for each individual that needed them. And tbh even just acknowledging each of us as autonomous individuals who was deserving of respect and agency made a huge difference on the functionality of our system.
Now several years down the line, each of us has a unique relationship with our therapist. We each go to sessions with different focuses and are treated with respect as ourselves and not as 'parts to make the whole functional'. We've each made amazing strides in dealing with our own individual traumas and trauma responses which has in fact benefited the overall functionality of our system.
We have worked together to break down dissociative barriers. We've developed reliable communication throughout large parts of the system that used to be completely isolated. We've been able to help those in the system stuck in trauma loops. We've been able to meet and celebrate those who don't share our trauma. And now there is a general sense of ease and community through our system.
Focusing on tackling the negative symptoms of trauma and PTSD and not treating individuals as if they were unwanted side effects of traumatization was a huge breakthrough for us.
[I won't get into how the acknowledgment of our plurality and the acknowledgment that we would be plural no matter what was also extremely significant culturally. That's a different step that may get its own post later.]
Obligatory disclaimer that this is just our personal experience with the differences between our DID and our plurality. This was an extremely personal journey that has spanned our whole life along with nearly a decade of DID focused therapy.
The distinction between our plurality and our DID is extremely significant to us but that isn't true for everyone. Your experience is your own. Your healing journey will be your own. Your relationship with plurality is your own.
For systems/plurals of all kinds out there:
Y'all are seen.
Y'all are loved.
Y'all are valid.
The world is a better place for having y'all in it.
