Jan 8, 2022
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FIC: Sex Pollen, or, The Longest Lay in Chang'an (Everyone/Everyone, But Mostly Gan Shoucheng/Tan Qi and Peacekeepers/Right Cavalry, NC-17)
Title: Sex Pollen, or, The Longest Lay in Chang'an Author: Snowgrouse Fandom: The Longest Day in Chang'an (2019) Pairing: Gan Shoucheng/Tan Qi, Tan Qi/Zhang Xiaojing, Tan Qi/Gan Shoucheng/Zhang Xiaojing/Jia Liang, Yao Runeng/Original Male Character(s), Cui Qi/Right Cavalry Soldiers, The Peacekeepers/Right Cavalry Soldiers, Gan Shoucheng/Li Xiang Xiang/Original Male Character Rating: NC-17 Genre: SEX POLLEN, Crack and Smut, Sex Comedy, Het and Slash Warnings: The things sex pollen does to people, i.e. drugged consent and OOC behaviour, but everyone is having a great time, I promise. Peruse the Ao3 tags. Length: ~9500 words Summary: The Peacekeepers set out to investigate a new threat to the city of Chang'an: a strange yellow powder with aphrodisiacal properties. Problem is, only the biggest, most notorious pervert in town--yes, a certain guylinered cavalry general--knows what it is. Tan Qi nobly (and not at all blinded by pollen-induced lust) offers to sacrifice herself to hold back the ravishment rampage that might ensue. Meanwhile, in the Peacekeeper headquarters, an orgy has begun to unfold...
A/N: Yes. I went there, and I'm not sorry. Because Yao Runeng and Cui Qi get dicked! And hey, Gan knowing a lot about herbal and mineral medicines is based on historical fact. (Any excuse. I know.) See Ao3 for more notes.
"Dismissed," Li Bi says and waves his hand--it really is such a beautiful hand. Tan Qi wonders how many of his fingers he could slide inside a--
She beats a hasty retreat before she does anything stupid; she runs off to her room with her cheeks burning, her groin aching with packed-up blood.
On her way, she passes Cui Qi acting most strangely: he makes funny, high, whimpering noises and bangs his head against a wall.
"Shall I hire a flower girl, Captain?" Jia Liang asks.
"It's no use," a messenger pipes up, panting. "The town's been hit by some kind of sex plague."
"Sex PLAGUE?!" Cui Qi sputters.
"Yes," the messenger says. "That's what I was to report to you. All the prostitutes are overworked because the Peacekeepers and whoever else has come in contact with the powder are sex crazy at the moment; the brothels are fully booked for the whole week."
"What powder?" Cui Qi asks, adjusting the bulge in his less-than-pristine trousers.
"I was told you had confiscated it," the messenger replies.
Jia Liang winces.
"What are you grimacing at?" Cui Qi asks him.
"Well, Captain," he says awkwardly, then looks up at him meaningfully. "...General Gan?"
"What do you mean, General Gan?" Cui Qi grabs him by the collar and slams him up against a wall. "Stop talking in riddles!"
"Well, Captain," Jia Liang stammers, now erect in spite of himself, simply from being in such close contact with another human being. "You... know what they say about him, don't you, Captain?" he searches Cui Qi's eyes. Even if he hasn't lived here long, every officer in Chang'an surely knows of General Gan's notorious reputation with women.
"What do you mEAN?!"
"No woman is safe around him," the messenger murmurs. "Even without aphrodisiacs. And if he gets his hands on the powder..."
(Ao3)
