These past few days, I have still been trying to process everything. At the very least, my ears no longer have to hear the sounds of life support in a room that was once so filled with hope and anxiety.
Amidst the words of condolences, prayers, and endless questions, it turns out I am so fragile. I sobbed just like a teenager when the 'father' figure I knew arrived, or when a warm embrace from 'mother' held me close while whispering the exact words I needed to hear: "You did your absolute best, my child, by bringing him to the hospital..."
Some might judge this as selfish and ask 'why', but as his child, I only wanted to protect the dignity of a family provider for one last time, as my final act of devotion.
It is hard to say the words, but 'goodbye' and 'see you again in eternity' are what I wish to say. You must be happy now, reunited with your mother and your only younger brother over there, without having to endure that agonizing pain anymore.
I am so proud that in your final moments, I could whisper the verses of the Holy Qur'an and the names of God with strength and fluency—the fruit of your devotion in teaching me faith since early childhood.
Rest well with that signature smile of yours, Abah. 🥀
Love, N.
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[ A Note of Gratitude ]
My deepest gratitude to RSU Hermina Makassar, which has done its absolute best to treat Abah over the past few years until the end of his life.
Especially for dr. Andi Tihardimanto Kaharuddin, Sp.JP: "Doctor, there will be no more drama of 'chasing after time' to get treated at two different clinics simultaneously. Truly, your kindness and sincerity will always be remembered and deeply engraved in my heart..."
In that critical moment, I also owe a debt of gratitude to the Green SM taxi driver who drove me in the dead of night. He was the fourth driver to accept my order, after three others refused due to the road construction traffic. His willingness to help became the crucial bridge for me to reach Abah’s side in time.
° ° °
(In memoriam of Sjarif Ridha Yahja; December 23, 1950 - May 24, 2026)