1-15 for You Are The Only One Who Needs To Know bc that story means everything to me!!
holy shitsticks sayre You Are The Only One Who Needs To Know
1:What inspired you to write the fic this way?
When I started writing the fic, I was inspired by a German movei, called ‘Rubbeldiekatz’ where a young male actor never gets cast as the male lead, so he decides to dress as a woman and audition like that. He gets the job and some other shit happens, but that’s where the comparison ends :D
2:What scene did you first put down?
I always work chronologically, so the first part of the fic is the very first part I put down ^.^
3:What's your favorite line of narration? (sorry this got long)
This reminds him of that time when he was nine and his mom caught him in her best shoes. He’d been a little jealous of Ma for being able to wear them, and annoyed that all his shoes were just so bland. So he took them out one day, when he thought his mom was at the store, and very carefully put them on. He felt so delicate, so happy, so free. His mom had come home early, and before his first scared tear had rolled down his cheek, she had hugged him, kissed him on his forehead, and told him those shoes were for special occasions only. But if he wanted, he could wear them for a bit on Sundays.
4:What's your favorite line of dialogue?
“Will you tell me often?”
“I’ll tell you always.”
5:What part was hardest to write?
I was sort of dreading the love confession for a while, because describing emotions and love is really difficult for me. (I’m aromantic and there’s a disconnect for me) But when I was writing it and it finally got to the big love confession, it happened very naturally, casually thrown into a conversation, and I got all worked up about nothing basically :D
6:What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?
I won’t ever pretend I’ve done anything innovative by having Steve as genderqueer, but I do feel really good about the decision. More people should be informed as to what genderqueer is, what nonbinary means, etc.
7:Where did the title come from?
The title is from The All-American Rejects’ song ‘Dirty Little Secret’
8:Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?
It started out being inspired by the actor in that German movie and involved into being inspired by my own experiences. Writing this fic made me realize who I was, what my gender identity was, and writing down my experiences and transferring them onto a character was very good for my health, in a way? I mean, it just really helped me get to terms with things.
9:Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
No, I was happy with the way it went ^.^
10:Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?
Basically, it was the only pairing I dared to write for at the time. :D I’ve only recently started writing for a different pairing, but this just fit Steve and Bucky so well, I couldn’t not.
11:What do you like best about this fic?
It’s my longest fic to date, and I remember exactly how proud I was when I finished it. I like that it represents me in a way, and I’ll always be super proud of it.
12:What do you like least about this fic?
I know Steve’s a very oblivious idiot. Trust me, I know. Sometimes I felt like I was really overdoing it on the obliviousness, but I also know how in my head I can get, and I wasn’t really exaggerating. During weekly updates, I had some comments on that, and it got me a little insecure, but I still stand by my decision. He is a lovable idiot. :D
13:What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
I...didn’t listen to anything, I’m afraid. Back then, I wrote in complete silence (which I couldn’t do right now, I’d lose my mind). Please listen to sth happy, cause this fic is meant to make you happy ^.^
14:Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?
I don’t wanna say I wanted to educate people, but I’m glad maybe some people learned about being genderqueer, and pansexuality for that matter. Maybe just introducing words into someones vocabulary will stimulate them to do a google search, and I feel happy about that :)
15:What did you learn from writing this fic?
I am genderqueer. I can write fics longer than 5k. People like what I write. (I need to be reminded of this one sometimes) I should be more confident. And Steve and Bucky love each other to bits, no matter which AU they’re thrown in.