@yeshallreceive continued from (x)
Mary couldn't help from smiling, leaning over to meet Thomas, as he tottered over, dropping another armful of red apples into the basket held in her grasp before hurrying back to where Ben was, ready to be lifted him back on his shoulders to pick more.
She couldn’t help the smile tugging on the corners of her mouth as she heard the way Thomas giggled and squealed with delight as he was playfully brought up, set atop of Ben’s shoulders, to the height his father never could allow him in all their years together.
That was the part she disliked the most, the part she wished she could prevent herself from doing: comparing the two of them, Ben to Abraham. Ben was not her husband, and she was certain he wouldn’t want to be, but whenever he visited, checked up on them, paying Thomas special attention, Ben’s playful nature reminded her of Abe’s, of the only gesture her husband had ever done that had been one out of love and not selfishness.
“How many more do you think we’ll need?” She was asking both of them even though she already knew the answer. They had more than enough apples for her to make an apple pie now.
Despite the unwanted memories, meeting with Mary and Thomas Woodhull never failed to thaw out the chilled, ever-present iciness within his heart. The war had tainted all goodness for Ben -- tainted the ability for him to feel deserving of any and all happiness -- and yet somehow, every time he could see that Abraham’s family was safe and secure and thriving, he allowed himself to feel a modicum of warmth again. Though the problem with the thaw, he knew, was that eventually, he may very well drown...
Thomas interrupted his thoughts in that moment, toddling over with his arms outstretched. “Back for more, are you?” he asked, chuckling. “If you’re not careful, we might end up harvesting the entire orchard.”
Eyes twinkling, he lifted the boy up -- though rather than balance him on his shoulders, as he had before, Ben lightly tossed Thomas into the air, earning himself a squeal of delight. It wasn’t a scream of pain or agony, but sheer joy. As much as it instilled in him an unshakable warmth, Ben wasn’t quite sure he could get used to that.
After a few more playful tosses, he finally placed Thomas onto his shoulders and helped the boy pick an armful of apples from the lowly branches.
“How many more do you think we’ll need?”
Mary’s voice carried over to them then, and Ben turned toward her with a lopsided smile. “I guess that depends,” he said. “Do you intend to let me have one of these pies, or am I just going to have to sit back and enjoy through sight alone? Because if the answer is yes -- to the first question -- I think we’ve got just about enough. But if the answer is no, I’m going to keep picking out of spite.”
Ben also wasn’t used to making quips again. Typically, his day revolved around busywork -- he needed to keep busy -- and taciturn conversation. He tended to say as little as possible, and did whatever was necessary in a brisk and efficient fashion. The war had made him closed-off and anxious, yet back here in Setauket, breathing in the familiarity and hearing the sounds of the ocean, and seeing Thomas’ bright, sunny smiles...he somehow felt like a shadow of his old self again.
Suddenly, a look of self-consciousness dipped across his face, and Ben frowned, setting Thomas back into the grass. “I may not know my way around a kitchen, but I could help if...if you needed me to?”