Not My Old Christmas
Today is Christmas Eve and I am practicing contentment and letting go. Letting go of preconceived ideas of how I feel Christmas Eve should be, and learning to be content with how things are in this moment.
Growing up, Christmas Eve was such a big event in our family, thanks to my grandparents. We shared a big meal, Christmas carols (in which we were terrible), the reading of the bible story of the birth of Jesus (which was my job from the time I could read), and the culmination of the opening of gifts.
I was so fortunate to grow up with these special traditions, and even into adulthood, after my grandparents passed, our family continued to celebrate in the same manner. But time has evolved our family; with children, grandchildren, step-parents, in-laws, marriages, divorces, and even deaths. Slowly over the years, it is no longer feasible to gather so many extended families together for one special night. Each family nucleus now celebrates their own Christmas in their own way.
I have moved to a smaller town, my son lives with his own family and they carry on their own traditions, my daughter moved to another state and celebrates her way. I will be celebrating the holidays with just my husband and mother-in-law.
No, Christmas Eve does not feel the same. I do long for that feeling of excitement for the evenings festivities and celebrating with a larger family. But I also recognize that nothing in life is permanent, and I can either sit around and be melancholy, or look at the past with a sense of nostalgia.
This evening will be spent with 2 people I love, enjoying a home cooked meal, a lively game of cards, and a classic Christmas movie. This is not the Christmas Eve of my memories, but it is my reality, and reality isn't that bad!