YOGA THOUGHTS

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live

[yoga4ullc]

Not My Old Christmas

Today is Christmas Eve and I am practicing contentment and letting go. Letting go of preconceived ideas of how I feel Christmas Eve should be, and learning to be content with how things are in this moment.

Growing up, Christmas Eve was such a big event in our family, thanks to my grandparents. We shared a big meal, Christmas carols (in which we were terrible), the reading of the bible story of the birth of Jesus (which was my job from the time I could read), and the culmination of the opening of gifts.

I was so fortunate to grow up with these special traditions, and even into adulthood, after my grandparents passed, our family continued to celebrate in the same manner. But time has evolved our family; with children, grandchildren, step-parents, in-laws, marriages, divorces, and even deaths. Slowly over the years, it is no longer feasible to gather so many extended families together for one special night. Each family nucleus now celebrates their own Christmas in their own way.

I have moved to a smaller town, my son lives with his own family and they carry on their own traditions, my daughter moved to another state and celebrates her way. I will be celebrating the holidays with just my husband and mother-in-law.

No, Christmas Eve does not feel the same. I do long for that feeling of excitement for the evenings festivities and celebrating with a larger family. But I also recognize that nothing in life is permanent, and I can either sit around and be melancholy, or look at the past with a sense of nostalgia.

This evening will be spent with 2 people I love, enjoying a home cooked meal, a lively game of cards, and a classic Christmas movie. This is not the Christmas Eve of my memories, but it is my reality, and reality isn't that bad!

[yoga4ullc]

Vairagya in a new town

Vairagya is a Sanskrit word for detachment, and boy is this a doozy for me.

Sally Kempton once said "Detachment is rarely something we achieve once and for all. It's a moment-by-moment, day-by-day process of accepting reality as it presents itself, doing our best to align our actions with what we think is right, and surrendering the outcome”

This sounds wonderful in theory, think how much suffering we could eliminate in our own lives if we could just do the best we can at that moment and then detach ourselves from the outcome. I say in theory, because the practical application is so much more challenging.

 We have relocated to a new town, away from friends and family, in fact, away from anyone we know. It has been a new adventure, filled with excitement, fun, trepidation, pitfalls, and financial worries.

Not only did we move from everything familiar to us over the last 30 years, but we purchased a fixer upper (another story for another time), and I had to start my yoga teaching career all over. I already have the training, knowledge, and experience from teaching over 21 years, but what I lack is the students, my lovely following.

I didn’t realize how fully I would miss my long time students, the comfort of teaching in a familiar studio, the support, emotionally and financially, of these beautiful souls who showed up to class to immerse themselves in the practice of yoga.

I never even considered that starting a new practice in a new town would prove to be quite so challenging (apparently I exist in a little ‘rose colored yoga bubble’).

Anyone who teaches yoga understands that particular cities and geographical locations are more ‘yoga friendly’. Yoga practice and the yoga lifestyle thrive in certain cities, especially the larger metropolises.

This beautiful small town is filled with active older adults. Hiking, biking, kayaking, and traveling seem to be the ‘soup du jour’ here. Of course, there are those that love yoga, but in the grand scheme of things, yoga seems to take a backseat to many other activities.

This is not to disparage the yoga community in my new place of residence, more a statement about myself. I moved here with particular mental expectations and I am having a very difficult time separating reality from expectations.

“Vairagya is one of the most difficult skills to master in yoga. It requires us to let go of our attachments to things we want and don’t want, and it’s not easy to give up what we want so easily. But if we can cultivate a little bit of detachment every day, then we will see progress in our ability to detach from our desires and habits”.

Through this ‘detachment from the outcome’, we are better able to see things more clearly, to see things as they really are without becoming distracted by emotions, we become less stressed, calmer, more content and maybe even happier.

~Namaste

[yoga4ullc]

Were We Ready?

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”

This is a quote that you may have heard many times, it is up for debate as to whom the original author of the quote may have been.

I have had so many students over the years tell me that they wished they had found me many years earlier on their quest of yoga.

I get that, but perhaps the student wasn’t ‘ready’ at that time? Perhaps they were in a different mindset months or years earlier.

When I began my yoga journey many years ago, I was in a completely different mindset and lifestyle than I am at this time (also much younger)!

I strongly believe my teachers and mentors came along at just the right time for me and my personal progress. There are many times I wish that I had started yoga at a younger age, I think that I could have avoided many physical and emotional pitfalls had I had a deeper understanding of myself, a toolbox of knowledge for navigating everyday life.

But was I ready for a deeper understanding of myself at that time? Was I ready for an alternative physical regime? The answer is doubtful, I can be pretty stubborn at times.

Every yoga teacher has their own style, whether that comes from their particular lineage they studied, their own personalities, their likes and dislikes, and even ‘dare I say’, their age.

I do not teach like I did 20 years ago, 10 years ago, and even 5 years ago. My teaching has evolved along with my maturity and knowledge.

When a student tells me they wish they had found me years ago, I wonder were they ready? Was I ready to be their teacher at that time? They may love my teaching style now, but that isn’t to say they would have loved it 10 years ago.

So maybe the quote should also be ‘When a teacher is ready, the student will appear”.

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

Why are you teaching Yoga?

I recently had a short discussion with a beautiful young Yoga Teacher Training graduate. She informed me that she wasn’t interested in attending the studio classes any longer because she is not interested in the ‘woo-woo’ aspect of yoga, and she wants to focus getting a teaching job at a gym where she can teach the ‘kind of yoga’ she likes.

I must say I was a little taken aback but unfortunately was not surprised, at least she was being honest.

As a YTT (yoga teacher training) instructor, I am seeing more and more of this. It seems to be the latest fad to acquire a yoga teaching certificate and get your pictures up on Instagram. Most certificate trainings can be done in several months, some even less than that. Many of the students are not interested in learning the history of yoga and yoga philosophy.

What are they interested in learning? How to make a kick-ass playlist, fancy arm balances to impress their students, sequencing to make their yoga classes fun and sweaty.

This is not to say that all YTT students feel this way, but I am seeing far more students interested in the ‘show’ of yoga, than the actual yoga.

Another senior teacher recently shared with me that a 300 hour YTT student asked her if she could be given only the necessary study notes needed to pass the exam. What??? She doesn’t want to ‘waste’ time studying aspects of yoga that may not be on the final exam.

 I want to share an excerpt from a recent article in Yoga International by Arundhati Baitmangalkar, a yoga teacher and Indian immigrant living in the US.

“To fully understand the cultural appropriation of yoga, we first need to know what yoga is. Yoga is a spiritual practice. It is a way of living. It’s a practice of self-study and mind management. It is a way of thinking, speaking, being—and more. Yoga is a part of Indian culture and heritage.                                                                                                                            Since the 1990s, yoga in the Western world has frequently been reduced to a fitness regime. Culturally, we’ve been ignoring the fact that this practice consists of far more than poses we deem photo-worthy, cute yoga pants, or a way to collect Instagram followers.”

To be completely honest, I am no Yoga Scholar, however I do understand that to properly teach something, we need to understand it to the best of our abilities. I wouldn’t dream of becoming a physician and telling my medical teachers that I only want to learn the bare minimum to pass the boards and receive my medical degree. Granted, becoming a medical doctor is not the same as becoming a yoga teacher, but hopefully you get the analogy.

My trainings (200 hour & 300 hour) took a year each to complete. This gave me time to practice and assimilate the teachings. During my initial 200 hour training, I was also required to attend a minimum of 2 yoga classes (with my instructor) per week. Now I am witnessing teacher trainee’s being too busy to attend classes. I get it, life is busy! But if you are not willing to make the sacrifices, to carve out the time, to put in the due diligence required, why should you be given a teaching certificate? I’ll bet yoga teachers from several generations back are laughing that I received training and certifications in only several years, where many of them trained with a teacher or guru for a decade or more!

I am seeing many well qualified yoga schools deciding to give up on offering Yoga Teacher Trainings because the students just don’t want to put in the work. Many students don’t even want to show up for in-person trainings, preferring instead to watch a computer monitor. They have no appreciation for the history of yoga, of learning the lineages that went before, or even to delve deeper into anatomy training to keep their students safe. Authentic teachers are feeling their ethics are on the line by handing out certificates to students who do the bare minimum to get by, who they know do not have the most fundamental knowledge of yoga history and philosophy, but they paid the money.

I realize that there is a need for calisthenics classes. Athletic classes that get the person moving and stretching using yoga postures, that have very little foundation, if any, in true yoga. But I sure wish we could call it something other than yoga, and hand out differing certificates for this style of exercise.

We’ve long since evolved away from the yoga guru, the one-on-one teachings, and maybe for good reason, but what have we sacrificed to get a quick certification, to forgo in-person teachings with a qualified teacher? To take the time and try and assimilate this beautiful, extensive knowledge that has been shared with us? Unfortunately it is our students that pay the ultimate price, never realizing what they are missing from the true practice of yoga.

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

Adapting~

Today marks the one year anniversary of my husbands retirement. We cannot believe that it has been a full year since he left UPS. We sit back and ponder exactly what have we done this last year?

It’s funny, we had so many discussions in the year leading up to his retirement as to what we were planning on doing, and we’ve done nothing!

Originally we were going to sell the house, buy an RV and travel for a year or two. But with the onset of Covid, and so many travel restrictions, we decided to put travel on the backburner for a while.

Also, as much as I love to travel, I’m not convinced that living in a small RV full time, with no ‘home base’ is what I want to do.

We have seriously considered moving out of the Phoenix area to a more temperate climate, but with home prices being what they are, selling is good, buying not so good. So we are currently in limbo, choosing not to make any hasty decisions. Sometimes I feel we are waiting for the universe to drop a ‘can’t pass up’ deal in our laps.

Besides the not knowing where we want to reside, lies the adjustment of having my partner home full time.

We get along great, but there are still adjustments to be made.

I used to feel that I had a lot of time during the day to get many projects completed. My husband worked long hours, five days a week, so I not only had time to teach more classes each week, I also had time to meditate, practice yoga, go to the gym, and all kinds of extracurricular projects.

All that has changed. I actually cut back on the amount of classes I teach each week in order to be home more often, but I still never seem to have enough time to do all the things I used to do. What happened? Are there less hours in a day now that he’s retired?

I never used to procrastinate, in fact it goes against my very nature, but that is exactly what I find myself doing now. My preparations for new workshops, courses, and Yoga Teacher Trainings are taken right up to the wire, I don’t have enough time! What??? I work less now than before, what am I doing with my time?

After a year, I finally sat my husband down and explained that we need to come to an agreement about ‘quiet time’. I’ve been trying to figure out why I feel on edge and stressed so often, again not my normal M.O. The other evening I came home from teaching and pulled into the garage, there was loud music playing in the garage, I walked into the house to be bombarded by loud music in the house, walked to the back patio to say hello to my husband, only to be confronted by more music in the backyard! And then it hit me, I have very little quiet time. I thrive on quiet time, it is a fundamental part of my life.

I spend so much time in front of people leading classes that I not only need, but yearn for peace and quiet.

You put a type A personality, that loves to move, talk, listen to music with a personality that thrives on quiet, it takes a bit of adapting on both our parts.

And that is where we are now, one year later, still learning how to navigate this new season in our lives. How can he express himself the way he needs and wants without me killing him? Oops, did I say that? I meant that we are in the process of learning how to adapt to this new chapter in our lives, to enjoy one another and enjoy his retirement years. Adapt is my new word for this last year.

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

The Way of the Future?

So many things have improved for us as a society, as opposed to 50+ years ago.

Our housecleaning chores have been made much faster and simpler with the invention of the washing machine, clothes dryer, and dishwasher. Grocery shopping is easier now that practically everything is under one roof. I used to spend days searching for a particular item from one store to the next, now we have Amazon with next day delivery. Remember when you would wait months for a movie to get to the theater near you, now you can stream it right into your living room the day it is released.

When I was at the gym this morning, I was thinking how ironic it is that we invent all sorts of machines to make our everyday life easier, but now we have to purposefully exercise just to stay in shape!

Yet I digress, I was actually thinking of how we may be losing our personal privacy, our rights as citizens.

More and more is asked of us by employers, government, health industry, to give up our rights in an effort to ensure our safety.

No, I am not going into the debate about Covid, vaccines, masks, so you are safe to read on…

I was recently ‘required’ to be fingerprinted, background checked, and drug tested to act as a sub for some yoga classes. This is a location that I had previously taught at for years, but now only offer my services as a substitute teacher when needed. The organization has changed their protocol for ALL employees to go through these steps. I do understand that they are dealing with older adults that they want to protect, but what about protecting my rights?

I reluctantly agreed to be fingerprinted and run a background check (I have nothing nefarious in my background) but after the fact, I started wondering why I was so compliant. I am only offering one or two yoga classes every few months, not because I necessarily want to, but I am trying to help them out.

This was several months ago and I had honestly forgotten about it until I got a call last week to make an appointment for a drug test. Now they want me to take time out of my schedule, wait in line at LabCorp to give a urine sample. This time I was not so compliant, they did not catch me off-guard.

I have decided enough was enough, you have as much information on me as you’re going to get!

I am not in a high-profile job, I do not take care of older adults in a one-on-one situation, I am not guarding the president, nor am I trying to get into the FBI, I am not handling drugs or personal medical care, I am teaching an occasional yoga class in a group setting!

I know there is talk about everyone being ‘chipped’ in the future, of having your DNA and life experiences downloaded for anyone in authority to view. I am now 60, and I doubt I will be around long enough to experience this, I hope not.

I guess we all choose our moment to make a stand, to decide I will no longer be compliant, complacency to get along is not my option today!

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

Should we be Silent?

Mauna translates to silence.

According to Swami Sivananda “Energy is wasted in idle talking and gossiping, by practicing mauna, the energy of speech is slowly transmuted into spiritual energy. Mauna develops will-force, curbs the impulse of speech, and gives peace of mind.”

I have taught yoga for many years, at many different venues, and none of these venues requested silence upon entering the yoga space. However, I have taken classes at studios that do request silence when entering the practice studio.

I am personally torn between the strong impact of silence and the joy of social interaction amongst the students. When I attended classes at the ‘silent’ studios, I embraced those minutes prior to class to be still and turn inwards. I will admit that I felt more centered as I began my practice, more in tune to my inner voice, my spirit. I personally love ‘quiet time’, no music, no phones, no talking, but I also spend my days surrounded by people, so I don’t crave this social interaction.

I see students every day that spend much of their lives alone. They may work from home, may be single or widowed, may not be able to join the activities that they did prior to Covid. These students crave the opportunity to have a conversation, to share in another’s life, to be part of society once again. Many of them use their yoga practice to socialize, to feel part of something. Should I require them to be silent in the studio prior to practice?

This has been a question I’ve wrestled with long before the onset of Covid, it just seems that this pandemic has brought different issues to the forefront.

When I was attending teacher training, our teacher requested us to spend our lunch break in silence. We all hated it! We had just spent the last 3-4 hours in lecture and practice, not able to really connect to our fellow students. When we were released for our lunch break, we were all eager to sit and talk, to share our experiences of the last 3 weeks since we were last together, to compare notes of our training and thoughts. This silent time felt like unnecessary torture! However, now that I have years of teaching experience, I look back at this time and understand what my teacher was trying to teach me, I guess I was just not ready or willing. Swami Sivananda says silence takes will-force, and I’m still not sure I’ve developed this.

Think of the will-force you could develop by sitting through the urges to talk, turn on your cell phone and respond to texts, to sit with others and not engage in conversation.

Would you feel more centered after your class, or would you feel more isolated?

As a teacher, I am considering trying mauna (silence) at the beginning of a few of my classes and see how the students respond.

The Bhagavad Gita says mauna is about training our minds, not just our mouths, to be silent.

That’s a tough one!

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

Mass (mask) Confusion~

I know that I’m not the only one that feels in this perpetual state of confusion.

We’re sick, we’re well, we’re safe, we’re not safe, wear a mask, don’t wear a mask, enjoy going out once again, stay at home and away from others!

I understand that we are in a very gray area, so called disease experts are not even sure where this is going and what the outcome may look like, so how can I know the answers, obviously I cannot.

I was just informed that one of the locations I (sub) at are now back to requiring masks to teach. I have had students at the studio inquiring whether we will be insisting on a mask mandate. On the other hand, I am having many students asking if they can give me a hug, many of them have been without physical contact in so long, they need this for their mental/emotional well-being. And I am freely giving them that much needed contact, the hug, the gift of saying ‘you are not alone, I care about you and how you are feeling at this time’.

I am vaccinated, I thought I was relatively safe, but now I’m told that even though I am vaccinated I could potentially be a carrier of this awful illness.

Ahimsa, a Sanskrit word for non-violence or absence of injury, is also the first of the Yamas; ethical rules within yoga philosophy. How can I apply Ahimsa in my day-to-day interactions with others during this trying time?

The choices would be easy if I were sick, I would stay home and not endanger anyone else or chance infecting a group of students. But I am not ill, I have taken the necessary precautions by getting vaccinated, so how do I continue to live by Ahimsa?

I’m sure similar questions have been asked throughout the centuries, how can we uplift others, offer guidance and support, be where we’re needed without causing unnecessary harm?

I wish I had a simple answer, unfortunately I do not. I do know that I have had many students approach me lately, to tell me how important their yoga practice is to them at this time, more so than any other time of their lives, that this is a mental health issue far more than a physical issue. So I will continue to teach (sans mask) where I can, I will continue to hug, until I feel it unsafe for them or myself to do so, I will continue to try and offer a space for students to go and recharge their already depleted emotional energy.

I am not interested in a Covid/Mask/Vaccine debate, I respect your opinion but must proceed by gathering my own information, listen to my own inner guidance, and make an informed choice from there.

I wish everyone good mental health and a strong emotional foundation.

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

Too Woo-Woo?

You may have heard the term ‘woo-woo’ in relationship to yoga or other mind-body practices.

Woo-woo is a slang term generally describing pseudoscience; or methods, theories, or systems considered to have no scientific basis.

Over the years I have talked to many people that state they don’t want to try yoga because of the ‘woo-woo’ nature of the practice. So how much of our regular studio practice is ‘woo-woo’ and how much is based on real science? And isn’t ‘real’ science constantly shifting?

Medical technological advances over the last 50 years have drastically changed our way of looking and treating the human body. Surgical practices being done today were not even thought of years ago. Improvements in how we now understand the human body to move (Kinesiology) has revolutionized physical therapy and recovery from injuries.

We know so much more about the human brain and there is still so much left to learn.

I am currently studying about cognitive decline and Alzheimers, and they are finding (through science) that much cognitive decline can be reversed or slowed with practices that may be considered woo-woo to many people. What if I told you that the consistent practice of chanting and utilization of hand mudras is being found to be extremely helpful in slowing cognitive decline? Balancing on one foot, crossing mid-line of the body, inversion postures are also considered to be helpful with our brain health.

Neuroscientists have been using MRI scanning machines to track blood flow in Buddhist monks brains as they meditate in an attempt to understand how their brains reorganize themselves during the exercise.

This all sounds a bit ‘woo-woo’, but is it?

I will agree that some things that I hear spouted from yoga teachers, new agers, and those trying to sell certain unorthodox products, make my eyes roll in my head, but don’t be so eager to turn your back on all practices that you may not fully understand, in the future these may become commonplace.

Recently I had a gentleman in one of my yoga classes. He is new to yoga and trying it out in part to please his girlfriend, in part because he has become tight and inflexible, and in part due to his stress levels due to his high-stress job.

Unbeknownst to me, he was not too open to trying yoga because of the ‘woo-woo’ factor. During my classes I use a lot of anatomy terms, explaining the why of particular postures, which pleased the logical side of his brain, but I also sneak in some yoga philosophy, meditation, and relaxation techniques, all of which he would have labeled the ‘woo-woo’ of yoga. His girlfriend later told me on the drive home he mentioned how he felt relaxed and more at peace then he does from his more physically active practices.

We can label things whatever we want, but if the practice works, makes us feel better, calm and relaxed, more comfortable in our bodies and minds, then who cares whether it is scientifically proven, or tossed under the pseudoscience label?

We’ve heard the term ‘don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater’, the same can be said for some of the ‘woo-woo’, don’t dismiss it because it sounds too new-agey for you.

Give it a try, open your mind and heart (woo-woo stuff) and see if you don’t begin to see and feel a difference.

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

My Bad~

I am considered by most to be an experienced yoga teacher, 2021 marks my 20th year teaching some form of yoga classes. But even after all these years I am human and continue to make mistakes. I’m not referring to forgetting one side in a sequence, counting wrong, cueing the wrong foot forward, doesn’t matter how long you’ve been teaching, we all make these simple mistakes. I am referring to an error in judgement, not holding an ‘emotionally safe space’ for all my students.

As beginning yoga teachers, we must learn to absorb a lot of information. We learn how to properly sequence a class, correct alignment in postures, proper adjustments, we learn the history of yoga and how to best share some of this knowledge with our students so they begin to get an understanding that yoga goes beyond the physical practice.

One aspect of being a good yoga teacher is learning to hold a safe space for your students. This can be a bit more challenging to teach to teachers because how do you define ‘safe space’? Isn’t ‘safe space’ one of those terms that can be fluid or malleable? It can mean different things to different people. A word or phrase that seems completely innocuous to one person, can be an emotional trigger to another person. We hear so much in the teaching community about PTSD training for teachers. Helping teachers understand some of the underlying causes and triggers of trauma. I like to think that most teachers now have at least a basic understanding of trauma, we have tried to become more aware of the terms we repeat in a yoga class and their effect on the students.

Well today I failed in maintaining a ‘safe space’ for at least one of my students. Prior to class beginning our studio allows conversations to take place within the yoga studio. Some studios adhere to a very strict policy of no talking once you’ve entered the practice space, but this studio allows socialization as it seems to enhance the overall community feel. It all started out innocently enough, as we were discussing movies and series that we’ve seen and enjoyed, mentioning whether the particular series included sex, violence, etc, as to warn the person in case that is not to their liking. Unfortunately there were a few comments made (as a joke) about sex and violence in movies.

As I began the class I reflected on the last conversation and realized that was a poor way to begin a yoga class, with the thought of sex and violence, even if it was in reference to movies.

After class concluded, I had a student stay after to discuss her misgivings on the conversation that had taken place prior to class.

She stated that she was from a country that sex and violence was more the norm. She comes to yoga to practice non-violence (Ahimsa; the first of the Yamas (restraints) listed in the Yoga Sutras). This conversation was very upsetting to her, and she felt it certainly didn’t belong in the yoga studio.

She was right on all counts!

For me, holding a safe space for my students means to allow the space for them to turn inwards, to reflect, sometimes this brings feelings and emotions to the surface, if that occurs I want that student to feel supported, to know that I have empathy and compassion for their situation or feelings.

I sincerely try to make my students feel comfortable and safe in my classes. I try and offer them the support they need during that hour together. I want them to leave my classes feeling better than when they arrived, but this morning I failed, at least that one student.

This is a reminder to myself, yet another learning experience, that when students are in the studio space, whether class has begun or not, that this should feel like a safe space for them.

I understand that I cannot control all aspects of what is said and done prior to class, but the things that I can control need to be done with a sense of compassion and awareness to the integrity of the practice and philosophy of yoga.

I intend to bring this up during YTT (teacher trainings) as an example of what ‘not to do’. And how even the most experienced teachers can lose sight of our teachings.

I will never stop learning and growing, sometimes being forced to face my mistakes head-on. I will continue my journey as a yoga teacher and hopefully not cause harm to any students, and if I inadvertently do, I hope they will show me compassion and forgiveness, as I forgive myself for being less than expected.

Namaste~  

[yoga4ullc]

The Hallway~

I came upon this short story on a Facebook post entitled The Hallway by Coreen Walson. I enjoyed it so much that I edited it to share with my Gentle yoga class during their savasana ‘storytime’.

To condense the story for purposes of this blog, it describes a hallway with identical doors lining the sides.

When walking down the hallway you feel at peace and content, but when a door opens a person (family member, friend, etc) beckons you to enter the room and watch a movie playing out on the screen. The movie varies from room to room, and person to person, but it is always of some drama, chaos, calamity, something to pull you away from the feeling of peace and contentment you experienced while in the hallway. No matter how hard you try and convince the person within the room to move out of the room and away from the drama, they are so caught up that they cannot leave and they don’t understand how you aren’t drawn into the drama playing out in front of you. You must depart on your own and return back to the hallway, the place of peace and balance.

The more time you spend in this space of peace, the less you are tempted or willing to be drawn into the drama playing out behind the doors. You instinctually know that you can not be of any help to those behind the doors if you are inside watching the movie with them. The only way you can be of help is to remain in the space where you are calm, centered, and at peace.

I believe in synchronicity and things appearing when we need them, and this story was that for me.

On a recent trip out of town with a few close family members, I mentioned the new career choice of another family member. It started out as a mundane conversation, but somehow turned into a discussion about how I can be so unconcerned about the possible consequences of their choices. I was told that they just don’t understand me.

This didn’t really bother me, because I don’t expect everyone to understand me and I am fine with that. This lovely family member tends to open a lot of doors in her ‘hallway’ and is drawn into others drama far too often, and I see how all these dramas affect her mental and emotional state. She just could not understand how I refuse to be drawn into this ‘potential’ drama.

I knew that these other people’s choices were their choices to make and had absolutely nothing to do with me. Offering my unsolicited opinion would only estrange me or draw me into more drama.

I can’t think of a time where worrying, crying, or yelling ever accomplished anything, other than upsetting myself.

I have spent many years and a lot of personal work to try and stay in the ‘hallway’. To avoid situations and circumstances that I have no control over and ultimately will end in drama. Am I always successful?

Absolutely not, certain people and situations trigger me. There are many things in this world that we must speak out on, but we must try and be discerning, to understand if we are making the situation better by jumping in or if we are just drowning with them.

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

Yoga Free?

https://www.stephaniespence.com/post/why-do-we-expect-yoga-to-be-free

The title of this article caught my eye and I just had to read it. I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiments expressed by the author, Stephanie Spence.

This has always been such a touchy subject for yoga teachers. Many teachers are afraid to ask for decent wages and end up settling for a subpar fee for teaching classes.

When I first started teaching yoga (2001), I would teach for just about any amount the venue would pay. I needed the experience and to begin building a following. I started teaching in fitness facilities and they are notorious for low wages, unfortunately as the years went by and I received more training and experience, I noticed that my wages did not necessarily reflect my growing experience and student base.

I have been contacted numerous times over the years to offer my services for free. One particular time stands out in my mind… a large corporate Brain Injury Center contacted me (via my website) and asked if I would be willing to teach a class or two a week for their patients. I told them I was interested and when I inquired as to the rate of pay, I was told this was on a volunteer basis. I then inquired if all their patients were offered ‘free’ medical services, or did the Center charge them or their insurance? The person I was talking with seemed a little ‘put-off’ by my question and responded that this was NOT a non-profit facility. I then asked why they were ‘for-profit’, but I was expected to work for free? Needless to say, I never worked for them.

I have absolutely nothing against offering a form of Seva (service) on occasion, but I refuse to be shamed into believing that this should be a regular occurrence. As the article stated, I have spent well over $10,000 on my trainings over the years.

A quality yoga teacher has much more knowledge than just calling out the postures. Most experienced yoga teachers have some knowledge of anatomy, kinesiology, philosophy, and meditation. We should know the contraindications to movement and postures, we can offer postures for healing, stress relief, building strength, stamina, and balance. We know about the subtle energy systems within the body, how to use pranayama (breath), bandha’s (locks), Gunas, Doshas, and we speak some degree of Sanskrit.

Some students may think I go in and spend one hour teaching yoga and that’s all that I have invested in that class. But they don’t see the time I spend sequencing a class just right, so that the student will get the most benefit from that class. The hours of research I do, the readings, quotes, and stories I pour over to offer the students ‘a little something extra’.

I have now entered my 20th year of teaching yoga and I am not doing it for free or for cheap!

When I began my career in the yoga industry, there were few yoga teachers. I was sought out (even though I was barely adequate in the beginning). Now there are a multitude of yoga teachers, teacher trainings pump out newly certified yoga teachers a couple times a year. Online trainings are the norm instead of the exception.

What this means, is that someone looking to hire a yoga teacher has unlimited options. There will always be a yoga teacher looking for work and willing to work for less pay.

Luckily I have never depended on my yoga earnings to maintain a household, I don’t know how any yoga teachers are able to do this without running themselves ragged.

Because I’ve taught for so many years, I’ve invested my time and money into my career, I pick and choose my teaching venues with care.

I no longer feel the least bit guilty for inquiring on the rate of pay right up front when speaking to a potential new employer or asking that I am paid for my time.

If you have a yoga teacher that you respect and have a rapport with, value that teacher because they are probably not making much money. Support them by showing up to class, purchasing your yoga membership, if it is a ‘donation based’ class, offer what you can afford.

With respect to all my students, who have supported me both financially and emotionally through the years. By showing up to classes, workshops, and events, for reading my newsletters, visiting my website, and suffering through my blogs. I thank you and bow to you with much gratitude.

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

I Can See You Smile~

“When I see you smile I can face the world”, you may recognize the first line in the chorus of the Bad English song from the 80’s.

I hadn’t really given this a lot of thought until I went to the gym the other day, this was the day after the mandatory mask protocols were lifted. The fitness center told me as I checked-in that it was now voluntary whether you choose to wear a mask while working out. I gratefully tore the mask from my face and was so relieved to once again be able to breathe freely while exercising.

My thoughts had more to do with my own comfort then anything else. But as I was lifting weights an older gentleman (yes, older than I), made a complimentary comment to me with regards to how hard I was working out, and I thanked him and smiled. We exchanged a few banal comments and then he said something that really struck home.

He said it was so nice to be able to see people smile again, it was one of the things he missed most from this pandemic. He made this comment with such sincerity and longing for these small mundane moments of exchange with a stranger.

That really stuck with me as I bid him a good day and went about my business. In fact, it has been on my mind for the last couple of days. Sometimes it’s the little things that many of us don’t even notice.

The idea of seeing people smile again had not crossed my mind, I believe at some point it may have, but it probably would have been more a fleeting thought. But this older gentleman not only brought it to the forefront of my mind, but wedged itself in as something I needed to process more thoroughly.

I am fortunate that I don’t live alone, I share my daily life with someone I love dearly and am grateful I get to see him smile all the time (sometimes at my expense). I have the opportunity to lead yoga classes where I get to see the beautiful smiles of many of my students (when they’re not grimacing)!

I haven’t felt the sense of isolation that many people have experienced during this challenging time.

This older man’s comment made me stop and think about the emotional impact this pandemic has caused, of course we have all seen the impact of isolation, but this was something as simple and mundane as a smile from a stranger.

I intend to go out and smile at as many strangers as I can today, some will probably think that I am a ‘few cards short of a deck’, but that’s alright. I may unknowingly just make someone’s day and that will make it all worthwhile.

Be ready, because I’m sending a big smile your way!

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

Our Own Yoga Journey

I don’t know about you, but for me I spent many years in a power struggle with my yoga practice.

When I was younger and new to yoga, I would approach my practice like something I needed to conquer. I loved the more challenging asanas (postures).

It didn’t feel like a ‘real’ practice if I wasn’t sweating and powering my way into the ‘fancy postures’, the ones that look great on Instagram, Facebook, and the old covers of Yoga Journal.

I recall my early days of teaching when I thought it best if I tried to figuratively kill my students. I thought my best classes were those that a student told me after class that it was ‘so hard’.

Maturity and teaching experience has given me greater insight into how I look at my own yoga practice, and how I now teach.

My goal is no longer trying to wring sweat from my students, or to see the look of anguish on their beautiful faces. In fact, now as I look around the studio watching my students, if I see that look of intense struggle, or I notice the moment where the ego has taken over the grace and presence of the moment in a posture, I as the teacher, back off. I bring the students back to a place of equanimity within their practice. This may be a moment in Tadasana where they bring their hands to their hearts and close their eyes, or they turn inwards for a few breaths in child’s pose.

I find it more beneficial for myself and my students to learn to be aware and present in the face of whatever arises, whether it’s on our mats or in our day to day lives.

Whether we choose to practice alone in our homes, in a yoga studio, or a fitness club, our practice should remain just that ‘our practice’. Yoga is an individual practice, our chance to grow, to be motivated, to find inspiration in our own lives. We may practice in a group led by a teacher, which can offer us so much energy and support, but bottom line is that the growth and experience is our own to decipher. Your reason for starting or continuing a yoga practice is your own personal journey, and you pick up what souvenirs you want to hold onto along the way. The choice is yours what roads you take, how you react to the twists and turns of your journey. But we all know that our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

My Covid Journey

This commentary is in no way meant to take Covid lightly, but I handle uncomfortable situations with a bit of humor (thanks dad for my weird sense of humor).

Day one of the onset of symptoms, it was a Friday, I had taught several yoga classes the day before and felt fine. I cleaned house and went grocery shopping that morning, was looking forward to a free afternoon and going out for a drink that evening. You know what they say about making plans! That afternoon started feeling like I was coming down with a head cold, a lot of congestion, so decided it was best to stay home.

Day two my ‘head cold’ continued to get worse. Couldn’t believe with social distancing and wearing a mask everywhere that I could catch a cold…WTH? The congestion and headache were getting out of control. I started using nasal spray like an addict going for a line of cocaine!

On day two my husband started showing symptoms as well.

Day three was the doozy! Today I started running a fever and felt like I had been hit by a truck, not just any old truck, but a huge dump truck filled with garbage. If anyone had asked, I would have said just go ahead and put me out of my misery.

By day four (Monday) I was feeling better, still very congested but at least I wasn’t begging for blessed release. And of course this is when I lost my sense of taste and smell, oh Covid you are a wicked bitch!

The next few days went on about the same, not getting better, but thankfully not getting worse.

During this time I couldn’t read a book or sit at the computer, both made me sick, so I think we have watched half the movies on Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu.

On Wednesday we went and got a Covid test, although by now I already knew the answer. Now if you haven’t had a Covid test it is an adventure in itself. First the Med clinic had their thermostat set at 82, I wondered if they were trying to cook the virus from me. Then the special treat of having a long Qtip

inserted up my nostrils to my 3rd eye. I must admit I handled it much better than my husband (at least it wasn’t a needle)! I wish I had been in a better frame of mind and I would have recorded my husband’s reaction to his test, could have provided chuckles for so many. Even as sick as I felt, I couldn’t stop laughing (there goes that weird sense of humor again).

Thursday we got the results and of course they were positive. Now I continued to feel about the same, not better, not worse. So the ‘bitch’ as she is now known in our household, decided to throw a little something extra my way. I can’t breathe due to the congestion, headache, no taste or smell, absolutely no energy, so what could be next you ask???? Now I have developed a rash all over my back and slowly creeping around to my belly. Oh she is a wily little bitch, with her own warped sense of humor.

Now I make it to Friday, exactly a week with this uninvited guest in my home and body. What can she do to mark this special anniversary but bring my fever back. I spent Friday flat on my back, too sick to even want to watch television. Friday night was spent with chills and sweat, I felt like I was being plagued by menopausal symptoms non-stop.

Finally Saturday I started feeling a bit more normal. No more fever, less nasal spray, my taste and smell have almost returned to normal, and my rash has turned into a lot of little scabs (yes, it’s as attractive as it sounds). I am a little sad that most women I spoke with talked about their huge weight loss on this less than desirable diet. I started out losing 5 pounds almost immediately, but that’s where it stopped. The ‘bitch’ was not going to let me get anything good from this experience.

It is now Sunday, I’m feeling pretty good, although I’m afraid to even say it out loud, that the ‘bitch’ may decide to deliver another special treat. I still don’t have much energy but as you can read I am able to sit at my computer for short periods again. This virus is really strange as it delivers different symptoms to different people. My husband and I developed symptoms within a day of one another, yet we experienced very different symptoms.

I don’t wish this on anyone, as it has not been a fun journey. But I am grateful that we stayed out of the hospital and seem to be on the mend. So grateful for my daughter who lives nearby and kept us stocked on Gatorade, thermometers, bread and Nyquil, and for my mentee and friend who made a special delivery of soup broth and fresh squeezed orange juice!

As long as the ‘bitch’ doesn’t decide to rear her ugly little head again, I hope to be back teaching soon.

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

Blame the Throat Chakra?

In my recent monthly newsletter, I posted a short blurb on ‘Speaking your f**king truth’ in reference to the Throat Chakra. The Throat Chakra allows energy to pass from the body to the head, as well as governing communication and expression. This Chakra works with the Sacral Chakra (2nd) in expressing creativity and emotions.

We can all recognize individuals who may have a blockage of the Throat Chakra, presenting itself in an inability or unwillingness to express themselves, speak out, or stand up for themselves. Those that when asked their opinion tend to speak so softy they can barely be heard, or consistently turn the decision over to someone else. But what about those that have too much to say, and say it too often?

In all honesty and staying with the idea of ‘speaking my f**king truth’, I have an over-active Throat Chakra.

Yes, I’m sure you’re all shocked at this revelation (not)! This actually serves me well in my chosen career as a yoga teacher. I have no difficulty getting up in front of a few students or in some instances, leading large classes at festivals and other events. But it gets in the way more often than I care to admit, and has gotten me in a lot of trouble over the years.

I am known by most for ‘speaking my truth’, for being honest, and I always try to do this with a modicum of décorum. My intention is not to hurt someone’s feelings, and I have found myself skirting the truth on many occasions to spare someone’s feelings. The older I get the less I find myself doing this, instead opting for a ‘softer version’ of the truth. I want people to feel comfortable coming to me for an honest answer, or to give them ‘my version’ of the truth as I see it (but only if asked). And that is where I get in the most trouble, only when asked! Learning to keep my mouth shut and opinions to myself is a practice that I have to work on every single day. Realizing that the earth does not rotate on my personal opinions is a hard pill to swallow, but oddly freeing. I used to find myself intent on changing someone else’s opinion to reflect my own, or taking personal offense if someone had a differing opinion. How many times over the years have I gotten into a heated debate because I thought someone’s opinion was stupid, prejudiced, not properly researched? But through the passage of time and hopefully my own personal growth, I no longer care so much about other people’s opinions. I will respectfully listen to your view, but I no longer feel the need to pretend, nor convince you of how wrong you are!

During this last election, we all saw through social media (and oftentimes in person) how destructive the overuse of our Throat Chakra can be. We should be able to speak our truth, but does speaking your truth mean attacking someone else’s truth? I saw countless times individuals claiming their right to say what’s on their minds, posting hateful comments, threatening to disown, unfriend, or not speak to others because their truths didn’t seem to align.

I know of people that will wear you down in debate to their way of thinking, it’s not that you necessarily agree with them, but you no longer have the will power or stamina to continue arguing.

I have hurt many people over the years with my words and gossip. I am ashamed of my behavior on many occasions because I felt to be blunt or forceful was my way of being honest, I now recognize it was just me being blunt and overbearing.

My work on my own Throat Chakra continues, it is a day by day process, my own special journey on self-improvement. I know that on occasion I will regress and say too much, or something inappropriate, and I apologize in advance. I will not always be politically correct, in fact most the time I won’t be, but I will always try and respect and listen to other’s opinions and keep my own to myself…maybe.

A quote I try and live by~ “Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one”

Namaste~

[yoga4ullc]

A New Christmas?

Well we made it to December, it seems like quite a milestone since this has been a challenging year for most of us. I’ve heard so many say that they cannot wait until 2021, at the risk of being a ‘buzz kill’ I haven’t seen much indication that the new year will be much of an improvement, however I hold out hope.

The news are reporting higher cases of Covid with greater spread, many states are threatening new three week lock-downs throughout the Christmas season.

But there is a bright spot amongst all this discouraging news. I am amazed at how many people have chosen to decorate their homes early this year. Driving around our neighborhood last weekend, we saw many homes with outdoor lighting already up. I am seeing beautiful Christmas trees posted all over Facebook. People seem to be decorating earlier this year and to a greater degree.

I’m hearing Christmas music emanating from homes and vehicles, Christmas movies are a huge hit right now, and why not?

If we are being asked to hunker down in our domiciles, to avoid our normal Christmas shopping, our Christmas-time happy hours, our holiday parties and other festivities, we need something that lifts our spirits. We need to be able to smile, to feel that Christmas joy, to smell cookies baking in the oven, to hear Bing Crosby crooning, and to shed a tear over that Hallmark movie.

We usually spend many a weekend at the mall, sharing in the hustle and bustle to find that perfect gift. But this year I am already almost finished with my holiday shopping, it’s been done on-line in the comfort of my yoga leggings and fluffy slippers, and when I turn my computer off, I curl up on the couch with a Bailey’s on the rocks. Is it the same? No, but it’s good in a different way.

I won’t see my whole family at one time this year, we won’t have many of the same traditions, but I intend to make some new ones.

We always go overboard on our decorating, but this year we took it to a new level. The inside of our home looks like Santa and the Elves threw-up Christmas. It’s bright, shiny, and some may find it obnoxious, but it makes me smile and feel all warm and squishy inside (no, I don’t have Covid)!

Since this December is proving to be different, I refuse to let ‘different’ mean bad. Perhaps different can mean more family time, less shopping- more baking, less parties-more intimate gatherings, less theaters- more home movies, less eating out- more home cooked meals.

As we welcome in December, change your narrative, make this a positive time for you and your family (and stay warm and healthy).

Namaste~