Yosano Angst but with a Nice Ending
Hi y’all! I’m sorry I haven’t posted in awhile. It’s been a wild ride these past couple of weeks, but here’s a new fic for everyone! It’s not in my usual style, but I thought of it sometime back and thought it might be fun to post! So I hope this goes well!
Spoilers: Manga spoilers for around chapter 70, none of this is in the anime yet, some spoilers for Kunikida’s background
TW: None
I based this fic during the time that I believe the three newest ADA members to join the agency were Kunikida, Katai, and Dazai. It is also based only a couple of years after Yosano joined the agency, so her past is still a bit fresh.
Yosano stared at her mug that lay shattered on the ground, the coffee it once held pooling around the pieces. It almost moved as if it were never a liquid at all. She had put so much sugar in it that it had become sticky and slow, but some of it had carried with the ceramic bits as they went skittering across the floor, leaving a distinctive splatter pattern. It almost reminded her of--
“Yosano, are you okay?”
She snapped her head a little too fast toward the voice. She must have been glaring at her broken mug too long because her sudden movement made Katai jump. He looked so taken aback from such a quick change in her demeanor. Am I really so terrifying to him?
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep well last night.” Her voice came out sternly, it was a bit much even for her liking, but it was hard not to sound upset when she got that way though, loosing sleep, tense all the time...
Katai glanced nervously between her and the shards still on the ground. “You know, if you ever need to talk about it, we’re here for you.”
She looked around the room. Dazai, Kunikida, and Katai were the only ones there since the Director and Ranpo had gone out on a case, which left the three of them giving her their full attention. She didn’t want them though, they could never understand everything. She wanted her family.
“I said I’m fine Katai. You can go back to work, and I’ll clean up the mess.” She knelt down and started collecting the pieces. Katai looked back at Kunikida as she did this. Surely, he wouldn’t leave her in such a state, but he was surprised to find Kunikida still at his desk, waving with his hand, encouraging him to help.
“Hey, Yosano. Maybe we could ju--”
“I SAID I’M FINE.” Katai backed away at the change in tone. Yosano had never yelled at him. She looked up as he moved away. They will always be afraid.
Yosano looked to the ground as she stood up, the heat rising to her face.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at you Katai.”
Dazai hopped out of his seat, and headed to the door, drawing Kunikida’s attention away from the mess on the floor.
“And where do you think you’re going in the middle of work?” Dazai turned at Kunikida’s words and gave a smirk.
“Oh, you know, out to make sure I don’t get some treatment from our favorite doctor here.”
That was the breaking point. Yosano rushed past Dazai and out of the room, Kunikida’s bellowing voice following after her. She couldn’t hear what the exact words were. He’s probably asking me to wait up, but there’s no point if I’m not wanted here.
Yosano made it the street outside the Agency before a hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her around.
“I said to hold up!” Of course it was Kunikida, why wouldn’t it be? She felt the tears well-up in her eyes, and it felt as if a hand had closed around her throat, making it hard to breathe. I can’t believe I’m about to cry. Here? Now? How much more embarrassing could this get?
Kunikida softened his gaze once he realized. “Hey, why don’t we talk about it?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. There’s no point! You should leave too before I hurt you as well. I’m just the Angel of Death after all.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing. Dazai was right about me. He just joined the agency a week ago, and he already knows how terrible my power is, the way it torments others. I just cause you guys to suffer.”
“Yosano, tell me what’s going on.”
“NO! I don’t have to tell you anything! Why can’t you just leave things alone that aren’t your business for once?!”
Kunikida gave her a stern glare. “You can’t be acting so childishly.”
“I don’t care how you think I should be acting. I just don’t want to hurt people anymore.” Her voice cracked in the last words, and she slumped down onto the curb of the road, burring her face in her arms. Kunikida sat next to her.
“Seriously, you have to open up about this. The Director left me in charge while Ranpo and him are gone, and I want to make sure all the Agency members are okay until they return.” Yosano glanced at him from the side of her eye before turning to face him completely.
“People always end up hating me for bringing them back. Maybe not the first or second time, hell, not even the tenth time, but they always say the same things. They always hope for the day that I’ll stop treating them.”
Kunikida listened quietly as she spoke. He really did seem less like a supervisor and more like an attentive friend in the moment.
“Yosano, do you know about the mission I went on a couple of weeks ago?”
“No, the Director kept it under wraps for you.”
“There was a casualty... I wasn’t able to save someone despite the ideals I hold myself to.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, but what does this have to do with me?”
“I’m just saying that we can’t do everything on our own. I can’t save everyone, and you can’t heal everything. We just have to do the best we can for the people around us.”
Yosano stared at Kunikida for a moment. This wasn’t the naïve man holding onto his ideals that she had worked with for a year. This was a person barely holding it together too. She didn’t have long to think about it though before he shifted, standing up and going back to his usual disposition in an instant.
“Come back tomorrow when you feel better. I’ll tell the other two that you took the rest of the night off.”
Yosano watched as he walked back into the Agency. She wiped away her tears and glanced one last time at the agency before heading home. Maybe I’m not so alone in this after all.