How did you poison me enough to let me believe I deserved you? You, of all people, only doing things because they were what you wanted, and always running away from me? How did you sink your teeth in deep enough to hold me captive in your hold as long as you did? Maybe I should have run the second I saw you, but there was no use, no point. Your poison had already seeped into my bloodstream.
There is no way to run from these demons. They live on the shoulders of innocent girls, and off of every negative thought that enters their minds, sucking everything bright and good up like a vacuum pressed against the carpet in your childhood bedroom. Where were the good people, who helped you up or got you out of a hole you dug too deep? When would they come to the rescue?
They hid in the deepest depths of the world, hoping not to be damaged, too. Right when I thought all of them were gone- lost forever- you found the strength to step out of the dark. With sweet words and almond eyes, you rushed up to a girl so broken she lay collapsed on a cobblestone street. You took my hands in yours, so strong and sure when they lifted me up. Right away, I could feel a warmth I thought I would never feel again as you wrapped your body around hers like a thickly woven blanket. It was only then that I could say I knew what it felt like to have a home in a person. Only then, did I feel safe and alive. Only then could those words be true.
After too many years of being used and abused by everyone in my life, I could open up. I could be free to unlock the hidden entrance to the walls built to keep out the nay-sayers, the ones who said they would build me up just to toss bombs on a newly found fortress. Weight falls from my chest whenever you walk into a room, always with a warm smile to offer me on my dark days. I can learn to be myself again, to laugh or grin from ear to ear without it being a lie. I have you to thank for that.
At first, I didn’t understand that I deserved to be this person, this girl that could have good things happen to her. How does a woman in this dark world run by scowling men keep that in mind when strangers are so keen on tearing people like me apart the second they see a smile on her face? How do I believe that I can be good when I see so much darkness, so many wrongdoings, in a single day?
Here I am, trapped in an endless abyss, a maze that alters itself as soon as I find the right path, for what seems like forever. Is there a way out? Could somebody, anybody, show me the turn? Maybe it’s not time. I may not have learned my lesson. I see the devil staring back at me now, with hands so smooth and eyes so angelic I can’t help but let him in.
Warnings/Tags: Kidnapping, panic, mention of death.
You had been stalking Guinevere Beck from the comfort of the shadows for years now, always making sure that she was safe from the world without her knowing about you. You had talked to her once, in the middle of a hallway at the very beginning of college, the first time you had ever seen her, and you instantly felt the most intense connection you had ever felt. You knew you loved her right in that moment, but you also knew that she didn’t feel any of those things, and so you let her go without even trying to bring yourself in her life.
Because you knew you could never have her without bringing her chaos.
You could just… feel that darkness twisting inside of you, and you had to fight every single day to stop yourself from tainting her pureness with it. But you couldn’t live without knowing more about her, without seeing her at least once, and so you let the darkness win a little and you started to stalk her.
But that’s it. That’s all you ever did. Watching her. At least until she’s safe and happy, that’s what you kept telling yourself all those years. You just needed to be sure she was safe and happy.
The only thing is that for a long time, she was neither safe or happy, not with those kinds of friends of hers. You didn’t do anything to change her life though, you knew it wasn’t your place to do so. But you prayed for her, you prayed for something that would protect from that Peach Sallinger who, after a while of watching Beck, you noticed her insane obsession on the blond. An insane obsession quite similar to yours, the difference was that she was trying to ruin Beck’s mind so she could have her all to herself.
You just wanted Beck to be happy, with or without you.
Then came this man, Joe, who she met in a random vintage bookstore that you actually went in a couple of times, and he started to watch her too. He noticed the same things as you: Peach, her narcissistic boyfriend, her slutty college teacher, her stepfamily… he noticed everything about Beck, some later than sooner, but he never noticed you. You knew he cared about Beck just as much as you, just as much as Peach, but the difference between you and him was that he was ready to do anything to insert himself in her life.
And so you watched him kill her boyfriend, and later Peach. Of course, you never really saw him, but you saw enough to know that it was him who did everything. You didn’t like what he was doing, but you knew that, unlike Peach, he would never do anything to hurt Beck, and so if she was truly happy with him, you would let him have her.
The only thing is that you never felt like she was truly safe.
So you stick around, just another year, you said in your mind. You know, just in case something happens. Just in case she ends up not being happy or safe.
And you were right.
She discovered something about Joe, probably an old things he stole from her house when he used to enter her apartment without her knowing, and she tried to run away. You didn’t witness the thing since you had to work that day, but you noticed that something went wrong.
Beck was gone, and Joe seemed to constantly be stressing.
The only time Joe ever saw you was when you came into his bookshop. He never got suspicious of you, because you made sure to come in at times where Beck wasn’t there to make it seem like you weren’t following her. So you were always seen as a regular client, one that was quiet and pretty forgettable.
Which is exactly what you needed to free Beck from the basement.
One day, Joe left in a hurry, telling his colleague that he needed to travel in another town to get a package for the bookstore, and that while he was gone, no one was allowed to go in the basement, no even him. Luckily for you, you had stolen a key years ago and made a copy of it, and so when Joe was gone, you waited for his colleague to be busy with another client and went down there.
Your heart dropped in your chest when you saw her writing on the ground in a giant box of glass, feeling so relieved to see her alive.
“Oh my god.” Her eyes went wide when she saw you, and for a split second, you wondered if she recognized you from all those years ago. “Oh my god, save me!”
She didn’t recognize you, but you were someone else than Joe who might had a chance to save her life, and so she stood up in a panic and pushed herself against her cage’s door with a desperate smile.
“Please, please, please…!” She pointed at one of the desks behind you, her breathing getting louder at each second. “T-the key, it’s right there, just… just take it and get me out of here, please!”
“Okay, okay-” You had turned around and picked up the key in less than a second, walking towards her cage with large steps. “Just a few seconds-”
As soon as you opened the door, she lunged herself at you and put her arms around your body with loud thankful gasps coming out of her mouths, the words “thank you” getting repeated over and over. You hold her close back to give her some comfort, not helping but to feel happy that she was so depending on you for her own survival.
“Okay, let’s get out of here.”
“Right, right-” She let you hold her hand while you walk towards the back exit, not wanting to bring more attention to you. “Wait, why not go upstairs-”
“He’s upstairs.” You didn’t know why you lied right that moment, probably you now think it’s because you wanted to have a little more time with her before the police make her disappear from your grasp. “The backdoor’s safer.”
“Okay, okay, okay...” You managed to open the backdoor and led her outside, an amazed smile coming to her lips as soon as she felt the fresh air on her skin. “Oh god, thank you so much!”
“Your welcome.” You gave her a smile before you led her towards your car. “Let’s get you to the police station.”
“Yes, yes, yes… thank you. Oh god… I am so thankful-”
You gave out a slight chuckle. “Yes, I heard, but now we need to bring you to safety-”
“No, no, no, you don’t understand… I… I mean- I might just kiss you!”
Those words freed open the darkness inside you, your heart beating faster as you led her to your car.
“I mean, you just freed me from him- Oh god, I could have been stuck there for years- you- you’re amazing! Thank you!” You opened the side door of the car and she sat inside without even thinking, her words keeping to pour out of her mouth while you started to drive. You just let her talk and gave out a few smiles from time to time, the blond being to relieved to finally be free from Joe to noticed where you were going.
It’s only when you start going on the highway that she loses her smile.
“Wait.” She looks around in confusion. “Why-why are we on the highway?”
“It’s okay, Beck.” You slowly move your left hand towards the locking buttons on the side of your door, feeling the adrenaline kicking in. “You’re safe now.”
Her expression falters down, her eyes slowly turning to you.
“… how do you know my name?”
You push the button that locks all the door just before she tries to open her door and jump out of it, her breathing getting stuck in her throat.
“Peach was your first stalker, Beck.” She breathes louder and louder, trying not to listen to you so she can think of a way to get out of here. “Joe took care of her, as you know that.”
She sends you a glare from her place. “Who are you?”
“He always thought he was your second one, but he was wrong.” You give her a bright smile. “I’m your second stalker. I’ve been for years, ever since that first day of college. Do you remember?”
She stares blankly at you, just like you expected, but then her eyes go wide. “You.”
“So you do remember.” You look back at the road and watch her from the corner of your eyes. “Didn’t think you would.”
“Let me go.”
“No.” You send her a glare from your place. “It’s my turn now.”
The last thing you feel is a kick in the head before the car crashes into another one.
