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Youness - Nantes, August 2019

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No is Nice

Hi there :)

It’s been a minute - my weeks have been quite full as I’m sure yours have likely been too. That’s what’s leading me to write about this next topic - saying no to things because sometimes No is Nice.

I mean, saying no really shouldn’t be as hard as it is. I don’t know about you, but it is really hard for me. I think in this generation plagued by FOMO, “no” is something we don’t like to often say or commit to. Think about it, if you say no to hanging out with your friends because you have to finish your work, will your friends have the best time they ever had without you? Or if you say no to going out to an event when you’re exhausted, will you miss a special opportunity to make an important connection that you could never make again? In the music world, will saying no to a collab/co-write hurt your chances of working more with that person in the future? The list of scenarios is endless. At the root of all of these though, I find the main motive behind this discomfort is primarily the fear of missing out. But when we choose to think and operate like that, it’s as if we are choosing to believe that there is a limited supply of good in the world so we can’t risk missing any of it. Um, that is not true! There is no limited supply of love, opportunity or good in this world for you. You have to be confident in your choices, in your prioritizing and in yourself in general in order to know what you can and cannot do....and even further to know why you are choosing to either fully commit or say no. Don’t say maybe ;) Make the choice and stick wth that choice - usually whatever your gut feeling on it is the one you should go with. Another thing, don’t confuse yourself after you were all happy about making a decision by then asking all of the what ifs! Like I said, there isn’t a limited supply of good out there for you - the supply is constantly being replenished. What there is a limited supply of is you! Your time, your energy, your you-ness.

I want to add one more thing though....in terms of opportunities...the only time said opportunities might start to taper off would be in the event that you continually commit to things, then break those commitments. If you would have just said no in the first place like your instincts may have been telling you, you could have saved yourself from looking bad and hurting your reputation by cancelling or not living up to your word. So with this, take a moment before making a commitment. It’s totally allowed I promise :) Be real with yourself and if you can’t, then you can’t. Say no confidently and offer up another time or solution instead. Whatever you do, minimize breaking commitments - that’s how to ensure that your world of opportunities continue to be replenished :)

Stop the FOMO! We can do it :p

With love always,

Angela