Any love? (fem!reader, hinted lowborn!reader but doesn't have to be, angst)
She heard it all her life.
"Don't be so sensitive, girl. The world will eat you whole." From her mother. "No man likes a crybaby of a wife." In the morning. "Your sisters were never this touchy." In the evenings and the afternoons. "Forgive my youngest. She's... a bit sheltered. Blame her father,"
At court, for everyone to see. She never got a break from it and it always weighed on her heart. But, who could she tell? Her father had bigger matters to worry about, her brothers would tell her to toughen up, her sisters the same way being too busy with their husbands.
All she had was her prayers. And even then, it was hard to stay so kind and joyful when she was always forced to smile in the face of those hardships. Even now, watching her older sister (right before her) dance with her betrothed who was kind enough to give her a glance.
A Targaryen prince she couldn't help but to remember the name of. Her mother looks down at her with a sigh. "All there's left to do is find you a suitor. One brave enough to handle your... needs." Her father glares at his wife, a gentle hand on the youngest's back.
"I told you to stop talking to her like that." "It isn't as though the world will adjust on her whim. She needs to learn better." He brings the girl closer casually, to avoid any more spectacles involving her name. "That may be true, but you are her mother. The last person she needs cruelty from."
He's waved off as she walks towards a flocking group of ladies. The man shakes his head, jaw clenching. "... that woman." He then turns to the girl. "How are you, darling?" "... 'm fine." She gives him a short smile. He doesn't believe it, placing a kiss to her temple.
"Perhaps we could sneak to the markets and get you something sweet, hm?" He side hugs her gently. "Get away from all of the babbling and gossip. Would that ease your heart?" "There's nothing wrong with it." She tried to insist, gaining a sigh. "Darling, I know you're not alri-"
His name was called, making him groan in frustration and turn his head. "What?" "I thought we were to discuss the matters around our coin, ser." The man nodded politely. Before he could refuse, the girl steps away. "It's alright, father." She gives him a tiny smile that fell.
"I'll just... explore the garden again." He sighs, calling her name as she stubbornly steps back. "... I will find you." She just nods, rushing away. And so, she sat in the dark garden alone. She takes deep breaths, rubbing her eyes. It wasn't her night... it never was.
She didn't have the right to cry or complain over something she didn't earn. It was childish, overreacting, whining. Or whatever else her mother has instilled in her in passing. Her mother meant well, she loved all of her children. It was obvious in the way she fretted or smiled.
Maybe she was just... born wrong. Different or too- she jumps at a soft call of her name, turning. The prince. She stood and bowed, hands shaking. "Your grace... sorry, I didn't hear you approach-" "It is quite alright." He smiles kindly at the younger girl.
It made her heart flutter and her stomach churn. She knew it was silly, to have a crush on her sister's promised. But, he was the only one to ever look at her with such kindness. It made her... fluttery, but guilty. She knew that she would never have someone like him.
Patient, understanding. She would most likely die a spinster, or marry a lord that would only tolerate her. The prince takes a step forward. "Your sister grew concerned when seeing you slip away from the celebration. I offered to check on you." She bowed her head.
"All is well, your grace." "So you always seem to say." He sighed, sitting down on a bench. "Sit, child. I don't bite." She reluctantly sits back down, gaze on her feet as she sat on her shaking hands. He eyes her. "... is there something I can fix?" She looks up through her lashes.
"No... I fear it is only my... ailment." She smiles a bit bitterly. "At least, that's what mother calls it." "It isn't an ailment. Your heart is just more receptive than others, is all. You're a bright girl." He tried to reassure. She doesn't respond for a while, thinking.
"... something that others find to be an annoyance." She rubbed her tired eyes. "Please. Your family has their own ways of understanding and the people at court are brainless sheep. Truly they can't be the ones to determine your worth." He frowns and scoffs, protective.
Her guilt multiplies as she felt herself grow hot at the attention. "You are a smart, kind girl who any man would be lucky to-" "And you?" She asks before she could stop herself. He pauses, eyeing her. "Pardon?" "Nothing, nothing. Sorry," She stood as her eyes burned.
Stupid girl and her stupid mouth. "It- it's silly. I am sorry. I," She chortled humorlessly. "I am emotional, as you know. My mother always says that an emotional mind and a loose mouth would get me in trouble one day. Forgive me-" "Stop." He stood, making her flinch back.
He sighs, scratching at the back of his head. "You aren't as subtle as you think, little one." Mortified, she looks down to the dewey grass beneath them. "It's nothing to be embarrassed of, truly." He muses. "It is only natural. You are young, and no boy has ever approached you."
He notes, before thinking. "At least, that's what your sister has spoken to me about. She's quite the worrier over her wellbeing. All of your family is?" She scoffs before she could help it. "Yes, because forcing me to become uncaring is showing it best-"
"I never defended their methods." He confirmed. "... but, as I was saying, you are young. And you feel deeply. I suspected as much would happen when first meeting you. It is... endearing." He places a hand on her head. "You will find someone worthy of your heart, little one."
She takes a step back, swallowing thickly. "... I don't believe so." She scratches at the back of her hand. "I have nothing to show or to make my family proud of. I'm not like my brothers or sisters." She turned away as she felt her eyes water. Again, as always.
She rubs her wet eyes as more tears fell. "I... I'm no good with coin, hunts, studies, embroidery, baking, or anything. I am not a child to be praised to other houses or to the court." Her voice cracks, taking a step back as he stepped forward.
"I am pitied, I know it. I bring nothing but dishonor to my house, I do not help our standing. I have no accomplishments or titles, or any particular skills. I..." She sighs, sniffling. "What love could I possibly have or deserve?" She's hugged tightly, head cupped to his chest.
She sobs, covering her face as she did. Embarrased. He let her, rubbing her back. "I will love you. And I'm aware that it might not be the type of love you want, but I will hold you close all the same." He swears. "You are more than what you provide for others. Being sensitive isn't a sin."
He kisses her head. "You will have love. You deserve it."
Inspired by "Top of My School" (again) and this fic by @miiroki.
