Tess' Sharpuary - 11. Moste Potente Potions
Aesop and his partner go undercover to investigate suspicious activity at the Minstry's records, and he remembers just how much he always enjoyed brewing...
chapter specific tags: case fic, friendship, attempts at humour
relationships: aesop sharp & aesop's auror partner
11. Moste Potente Potions (2.7k)
tw: sexual themes (implied/mentioned briefly), mention of off-screen death, my attempts to be funny
Aesop weighed the potion book in his hands. It had been years since he last held it, and even longer since he last brewed something in it. Ever since he graduated Hogwarts, actually. The knowledge necessary to apply for and complete the Auror Recruitment programme was mostly theoretical, such as successfully identifying a potion or a poison by its colour and smell, rather than actively brewing any concoctions - the ministry had special people for that kind of job.
However, seeing as their current objective was to be as inconspicuous as possible, he and Ashley thought it for the best it was him who got this job done. Well - it was more Ashely than he…
—
“You cannot be serious.” Aesop frowned at his partner from where he was sitting, his feet atop his desk. He was in the middle of a little pause, casually throwing a Galleon up into the air before catching it mid-fall once more, when Ashely came in with the news.
The woman walked in, and sat into her chair: “Of course I’m joking, in fact, our current objective is to impersonate Puffskeins instead,” she said dryly. “Hilarious,” noted Aesop, putting his feet down and turning towards his oldest friend, “Why the theatrics? We could go undercover without impersonating those two dolts. Not to mention they should be capable of getting the answers themselves.”
For some time now, whispers going around the Ministry hinted at there being someone with connections to a Welsh crime ring among the workers. Therefore, when a young couple working in Records arrived at the Auror office, claiming their new colleagues were acting rather suspiciously, Aesop and Ashley were called on the job. Aesop found the job somewhat banal, but the urgency seemed to stem from their boss wanting to uncover the traitor.
“They’re abhorrent actors,” Ashley remarked, “The buggers already called them out for acting strange, imagine how weird they’re going to be when we ask them to actively spy on their colleagues,” said Ashley, cringing at the recent memory of Mrs Barbara Treadway trying to act nonchalantly at her request. Poor people would burn a hole in the ground from how much they’d be blushing. “Besides, I already brought the idea up with the boss, and he gave it a green.” Aesop groaned.
"There's just one hitch," she added. "We're out of polyjuice." Sharp opened his eyes to look at her. “What do you mean we’re out of polyjuice? We literally have an entire crate of it in one of the storerooms, exactly for this kind of mission.” Ashley grimaced at him shortly: “Correction. We had an entire crate of it. But then the Bradley case happened and, well…”
Aesop sighed and scooted his chair over at his partner’s desk. “So we’ll just have to buy some, and label it investigation expenses, I suppose” he said simply, "Banal case, unnecessary twists. Great…"
“Honestly, I just think it’d be better if you brewed it,” she replied, resting her chin on her hand, peering at him blankly. Aesop blinked confusedly: “What, why?!”
“You remember what the Chief said two weeks ago…”
Aesop did remember. While Chief Auror sent praises their way most of the time, after Ashley’s and his last case, they were admonished for some of their actions as well - not enough discretion, namely. He said it wasn’t the first time he noticed this in their cases, and that the two of them weren’t careful enough in their investigations. The Bradley case (which they didn’t work on) having brought several dead as well did not help the situation.
Ashley suggested, "Brewing it ourselves might show that we're taking his advice seriously, keeping this job nice and secret." Aesop sighed, "So instead of a quick buy, we drag this on for a month while I brew it. And what makes you think I still know how to brew it? It's been years since I brewed anything!"
His partner gave him a smile: “You, my friend, have my complete trust.” Aesop rolled his eyes again.
—
So, that’s where was now, flipping through Moste Potente Potions, the old book he once used during his studies. It was quite worn after the years it spent in not only his care, but also that of his mother, but despite its years and the amount of uses, its condition was still more than acceptable.
He couldn’t deny that he felt slightly nervous. While he did graduate at the top of his class when it came to potions, it was not a skill that came natural to him. He invested hours upon hours of work into it, having started out as a very average student. Despite this fact, he always greatly enjoyed the art of potion-making. The precision that was required, having to abide by the strict instructions, and the utmost joy when he was successful in his endeavours, he loved every second of it.
And even now, though he had a rough-ish beginning (almost having forgotten he was using a copper cauldron and not a pewter one), he soon fell right back into the routine of cutting, crushing, and stirring. He watched his own hands adding the various ingredients in expert motions, noted how finely he had crushed the bicorn horn. He always knew he wanted to become an Auror, but as he brewed, he decided that being a potioneer wouldn’t be exactly a punishment either.
And then, when he finally stirred counter-clockwise for the last time, he was happy to find out he hadn’t lost his skill. The potion was perfect, and he felt no small amount of pride. If Ashley and he are able to portion it just right, they might be able to use it for three days straight. Aesop, admittedly, first wanted to make a smaller batch, believing they’d be done within the first day of their undercover job, but Ashley insisted they were cautious once more, and that was that.
They were ready.
Both of them met with the couple from Records on several occasions to discuss the way they should behave while disguised as them, and when they stood together at the place from which the Treadways usually departed when going to the Ministry, they knew it was now or never.
Ashley, who was now a head shorter than normal, with mousy hair, round glasses, and big grey eyes, was fixing Aesop's tie. Aesop too was shorter than normally, and had a very delicate, boyish, and nearly pretty face.
“I think next time we should switch,” Ashley said, and Mrs Treadway’s high pitched soft voice left her lips, “I get to be a man, and you a small delicate woman. Could be fun.” Aesop chuckled: “Fun? I thought we were supposed to be cautious and discreet.” Ashley grimaced at him: “We would be. It'd be just a new challenge, one that we could use to get better.”
He didn't reply, and instead threw some floo powder into the flame before them: “Ladies first.”
—
Aesop was right when he was certain it'd only be a one-day job. Only not in the way he thought.
Augustus Buckman and Hobson Teague were a pair of men who came to Records over from Magical transportation. Reason for the relocation? Personal reasons, apparently. No further comment was given on the subject by anyone.
Aesop's and Ashley's job was to find out all that they could straight from the horse's mouth, and possibly find out where they were on 14th June earlier this year, as both of them took a day off work, and it happened to also be the day a Muggle jewellery shop was robbed using magic. So the couple of Aurors went to attend to their duties as temporary record keepers, both keeping an eye out for either one of the two men.
They didn't have to, the pair found them themselves. “There you are!” said the one who matched the description of Augustus. A young man with a pointy face and mischievous eyes. “Finally, Hobby and I thought you were avoiding us!” He said jovially. “A-avoiding you! Oh, no, not at all! Me and Mortimer here were just terribly, terribly busy these past few weeks! You know how it goes, new house, lots to do!” Ashley played her part of ever-nervous Mrs Treadway perfectly. Another man, one who Aesop bet was Teague appeared shortly after. He was older than the other fellow, and looked shabbier.
The group of four worked together for a while, with the two men being terribly friendly, and the Aurors in disguise playing the role of awkward young couple so well, neither of their suspect's noticed a single oddity.
It didn't take very long at all before Hobson said: “So… Before you got so busy, we talked about meeting up in privacy - we have an offer for you.” Aesop could see his partner's eyes light up momentarily, but she soon schooled her face into Mrs Treadway’s mask once more. “A-an offer, you say? Uh, well, what sort of offer?” The older man got very close, nearly uncomfortably so and whispered: “A sort of offer that's better unheard by anyone else… Why don't you meet us in the office after the shift, nobody ever hangs around there in the afternoon.” And with that, he walked off, followed by a grinning Buckman.
“So… what do you think?” Ashley asked quietly, looking at Aesop from the corner of her eye. “Well… suspicious, definitely, but I can't think up into what sort of illicit business they would want to drag these two sods. The real Treadways would've wet themselves by now,” Aesop replied grumpily, prompting Ashley to click her tongue at him in reproach.
“Maybe they want them to be strawmen for them? Or scapegoats?” The woman offered, returning to her work. Aesop hummed in reply neither agreeing with or denying her hypothesis.
They waited until the very last workers left for the evening, and then made their way over to the office. The two men were already there, an open bottle of firewhisky and four glasses on one of the desks. “There they are!” announced Hobson, and immediately began pouring out the liquor. “So, uh… what is this all about?” Aesop asked, checking the room for any potential danger covertly, while taking a hold of Ashley's shoulders like a loving husband would. “Let's drink first, break the ice, loosen up a little,” Augustus laughed as he pressed a glass into his and Ashley's hand.
Aesop's hands squeezed upon Ashley's shoulders. ‘Do not drink it,’ he tried to tell her through the touch. Not a second later did her own free hand come up to squeeze his: ‘Don’t worry’. The group clinked their glasses, and both Aesop and Ashley did one of the tricks they were taught as Aurors - pretend to drink something without taking a single sip. It sounded easy, but it truly wasn't - the trick was to use wandless magic to vanish some of the liquid in glass in time while pretending to sip and swallow. Even older, more experienced Auror's had problems doing more than a little bit at a time.
“You don't drink much, do you boy?” The older man asked, slapping his large hand on Aesop's shoulder and making him wince. Damn, this smaller body was a lot weaker than his normal one. “Now look here,” Hobson said, “I've been told I'm rubbish at explaining this sort of thing, so Auggie here will do it for me. Will you, love?”
Wait.
Love?
“So, this may sound a little strange, especially if you never heard about it before, but Hobbie and I, well, we occasionally like to… let's say, bring some people over to visit us. In our bed I mean. And we-”
Merlin's saggy left bollock!
Aesop screamed inwardly. He didn't know what exactly he was expecting, but it was definitely not a couple of swingers looking for someone new to play with. He was frankly rather annoyed, but he was sure Ashley was laughing like a madwoman on the inside.
“And you two are such lovely people, and so we thought we'd extend this offer to you. You don't have to worry, we don't bite! Well, we do, but only with consent, what I mean is that if you were interested, we could take things slow, and see where it takes us. What do you say?”
Once more, Aesop marvelled at Ashley's skillful acting. Or maybe she wasn't acting this time? Nevertheless, the woman before him grew as red as a tomato and began sputtering for dear life. Aesop, while nearly completely sure these two idiots were not the criminals they were looking for, risked a question to confirm his suspicions, being sure to speak in Mr Treadway’s indecisive manner: “Uh, I-... Well, that's… are you saying you… you did this before?”
The younger man grinned: “Oh yes! We met this very nice Swedish couple during the summer, and spent some time with them before they left. We even took some time off to be able to be with them for one more day before they had to return home. Does that mean you're interested?”
“NO! I mean, uh… please, don't take any offence, you're both… delightful people, I'm sure, but Barbie here and I, well, we're not really… we're not really looking for… this kind of thing.” Aesop grit out, trying his best to imitate the poor Mr Treadway, who would’ve most likely fainted already during such a conversation.
“Oh…” Augustus said, his face falling. “I told you they weren't the type, Auggie, but you wouldn't budge…” said Hobsman in a placating voice, coming up behind the younger man and placing his hand on his shoulder. “I was so certain this time though… I, um… I don't suppose there is a way we could… forget about the whole thing, is there?” He turned towards the disguised Auror’s once more. “Come now, Augustus, don't be silly. The sooner we start packing, the better,” Hobsman said, leading his companion away.
“P-packing? What do you mean, packing?” Ashley found her voice once more. Well, her voice… “We used to work at the Magical transport department, and Augustus here got a desperate little crush on the secretary there. He kept convincing me the fellow was of our way of thinking until I gave in, and we offered him and his wife to join us. Long story short, they took offence and didn't want to be in the same workspace as us anymore. And I'm guessing you won't either,” Teague explained, running his arms up and down the younger man's arms.
“You don't have to leave…” Ashley said then, “we can forget this ever happened. Can't we, Morty?” Aesop cleared his throat uncomfortably, but soon nodded his head: “Of course. This never happened. We won't bring it up to anyone.”
Both men looked at them, then at each other and smiled. “We appreciate it, you don't even know how much. It's no fun flying from department to department like a Golden snitch!” Augustus said, his previous disappointment replaced by cheerfulness once more.
The group disbanded after one more drink (one that the couple of disguised Aurors actually swallowed this time), and with that, they were off. Just in time, too, the Polyjuice wore off just as they left the Ministry.
“So… that was a wild ride,” Aesop noted as he led Ashley to his house through the darkened village of Willow Creek where they Flooed. He had to admit, despite his annoyance, he was also rather amused. He made their clothes, which were now entirely too small on them, fit once more while they walked. “You tell me,” Ashley agreed, actually laughing.
“So. What do we tell the Chief? And the Treadways?” She asked after they stepped over the threshold, both immediately making their way to the kitchen for something to eat. “To the Chief? That they're no longer suspects. We'll contact the department of International Magical Cooperation, check out that Swedish couple, and hand in the report that says that our ‘criminals’ are just a couple of blokes who like to indulge in consensual extramarital affairs. And the Treadways? Nothing. Just that their colleagues aren't suspicious at all.”
“Won't we tell them about the offer?” Ashley persisted, accepting the apple Aesop threw her way to munch on before he made them something to eat. “Why?” He asked, “it never happened. Remember?” A knowing look spread on her face, and she grinned quickly before biting into the apple.
“What about the rest of the Polyjuice potion?” Aesop asked as he summoned various food items to make into a meal. “Keep it,” his partner said, “you never know when you might find a use for it.”
---
Thank you very much for reading 😘
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