People need to expand their horizons and seriously start yurifying their brains. Everyone is so yaoipilled these days. We, as a society need to start thinking about yuri more & make more yuri content. EVERYONE START YURIMAXXING RIGHT NOW, ITS NEVER TOO LATE!
Bro I've been searching up my favorite ships to see if they've turned pink due to the valentines day pink tag update thing and tell me why the fuck NOT ONE OF MY YURIS HAS TURNED PINK. ITS ALL FUCKING YAOI 💔💔 Like the fuck you mean togachako, tsuchako, madohomu, nanaxhachi, and kyosaya aren't pink?? Like even some of the BIG yuri hitters aren't pink like lumity, catradora, sashannearcy, and bubbline aren't pink while yaoi has what 20 pink tags? Like Tumblr what is this lesbophobia?? 💔 Though this isn't really out if place considering we have shit like this
Which is a crazy thing to say as if queer women aren't carrying this hellsite on their backs 🌚
I can't love you how you want me to | cassie mckay x f!reader | trinity santos x f!reader | Ch. 1/?
now playing Bite The Hand - boygenius
wc: 2.4k
summary: you and Cassie have grown close since your first day at the ED and after everyone starts suspecting you two from being a couple, you finally confess to her. when she brushes you off, you head to an ED mixer and decide to make her jealous
tags: angst i think, flirting, drinking, mention of substances, jealous cassie mckay, jealous reader, kissing and almost kissing, suprising amount of em-dashes but istg no ai was used cuz not even ai writes this shitty, tw cursing?
a/n: hey guys this is my first attempt at writing and im actually soo scared but i gotta contribute because i know dada, and im definitely open to tips or comments! i hope you're all as down bad for both cassie and trinity as me, please enjoy, love u bye
You started you R1 year at PTMC on the day of the Pittfest mass casualty and quickly learned to navigate the never-ending buzz of the emergency department. Nothing could’ve prepared you for your first day, but there was something intriguing about the ED’s unapologetic speed.
After wavering between the day and night shift, you’ve decided to settle for the less crazy daytime, where on occasion, you would get paired up with an R2 doctor, Cassie McKay. You’ve made friends with most of the ED, it was pretty hard not to as you were not one to pass on the weekly social gatherings that everyone seemed to obediently attend, but as hard as you tried, you never got over that tiring boundary with Cassie. It’s wasn’t a professional boundary, not at all, the playful fighting, you calling her Cass on the daily and then on accident in front of patients, babysitting her son, her giving you rides home after tough cases and eventually just because, and the constant flirting, it all caught the attention of the department. Even though you seemed close though, there was always this distance, maybe some awkwardness that just hovered between the two of you.
Victoria, then Denis, and eventually Trinity have all become your close friends, and you would all spend each Saturday at Trin’s and Denny’s apartment, watching the new Grey’s anatomy episode, pointing out all the inaccuracies.
You would drink together, get high, talk about crushes, and eventually you would confide in them about your growing feelings for Cassie. It was the first time you’ve learned that even though they joke, they would never judge you, and you only grew closer after that. Your little work crush became kind of obvious to those who weren’t completely oblivious, like Cassie herself, and it wouldn’t be a lie to say a few bets were starting to get made here and there. The two of you always shut it down, just like you'd both shut down all the comments, all the "lovebirds" and "your girl's" that people called your way. Though, you did always wonder wether she thinks about it every so often, like you do, like it's a possibility.
“Do you really mind it that much?” you turn back to her as you walk into the changing room.
“What do you mean?”
“You know, the name calling, the bets, everything.”
“I mean, it’s a little ridiculous don’t you think?” she laughs.
“—no?” the solemnity in your voice hits her like a brick, it makes her turn her head. “I mean I guess I can’t say I haven’t thought about it, Cass.” you hardly even anticipated the frankness with which you say this yourself, but she is really taken aback, and your face is flushed with regret that she reads as disappointment.
“I didn’t mean it like that, sweetheart, it’s just that…well you know, I have a son and I’ve had a whole another life before I—It’s just—“ she crosses her arms with a shaky breath. “I just can’t. Okay?”
“I think you’re scared, and I get it Cass but I need to know, because I can’t...stop trying, not unless you tell me that I misread." you step closer to her, feeling her tethered breath on your skin. "Just tell me I’m wrong."
Her head is already shaking in disapproval when she lets out an open-mouthed laugh. “You’re too young I wouldn’t fe—“
“And you’re exaggerating Cass.” a breathy laugh leaves you at that. It’s kind of true, forty-two and twenty-seven isn’t the worst, is it? You feel simultaneously relieved at the slightest chance that she might feel the same and worried by the firm deflection of your pleas.
Cassie lets out a frustrated sigh and tilts her head at you, letting her arms fall from her chest to her sides before quickly pulling them back up and bringing one palm to the side of her face as a poor attempt at steadying herself. Emma and Joy disturb the half voiced chat, coming in to change, and you don’t really mind. You slowly change from your scrubs, you’re slower than usual, maybe it’s on purpose, and you wonder if she’s doing the same. You make small talk and after you’re left alone with Cassie again, you lay your backpack on the bench, next to her. You take a deep breath, getting ready to debate her again.
She goes to tie her shoe and winces in pain after forgetting about an injury she took to her back after an agitated patient tackled her last week. Without thinking, you get on one knee in front of her. You quickly realise how wrong this situation seems, and how you should’ve calculated your trajectory better since you’ve ended up a little too in-between her knees. A tiny embarrassed smile pulls at your lips but you hide it by focusing in the direction of her shoes. You lick your mouth to brush the smirk off and start tying her sneaker.
“I’ll do a double knot so you don’t have to redo it.” You’re not sure what you have, but for now, you’re glad you at least have this, whatever it is.
“Okay” Cassie whispers so quietly that you almost miss it. Just like you missed that her gaze never left your concentrated face, and oscillated between your eyes and your lips the entire time.
“All done” you fix the hem of her jeans and look up without pulling your hands back.
“Thanks” she mumbles again and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyebrows hopelessly tie together and her eyes hover between yours, left to right, and back again. It almost looks like she can keep it together until she leans in just the slightest. But then she stops herself just as quick. Closing her eyes, she lets out the breath she’s been holding through her nose, seemingly letting out the air that held her head up high until now. “I should get going” you both get up but you don't step away after brushing your knee off.
“Cassie I—“
“You’re too close” she cuts you off, avoiding your frustrated glare by looking literally anywhere but your direction, her being taller and all made it an easy task.
“Okay” got it, you said, eyes narrowing as if searching for a sliver of that hope that was there just a second ago, and there was something definite about it. You can tell she feels that, you watch how weariness replaces the irritation on her face, and you watch something more desperate flick across it before you move to grab your things with trembling hands as quickly as you manage.
“Freckles,” not even you got to escape the eventual name-calling from Trinity Santos, but compared to ‘Crash’ and ‘Huckleberry’, your nickname seemed pretty cute, and truthful really. “you going to the party tonight?”
“Yep, I need to get my mind off of this place.” you finish gathering your things without ever sparing either of them as much as a glance.
“And you McKay?”
“Um yea, maybe.” She cuts in with unintended edge one arm coming up behind her neck, a nervous habit you’ve grown fond of.
“Okay wow, what’s up with you lovebirds?” Trinity jokes, unaware of the Pandora’s box she just opened.
“I gotta go, see you tonight Trin.” You roll your eyes and escape the lockers before Cassie can give Trinity a piece of her mind, you imagine it would hurt more to hear her say it out loud then to just kind of know.
You take a long shower before driving over to Trin’s and Denny’s apartment. You finally get to wear your hair down after spending the whole shift in a tight ponytail, and you decide for a simple denim skirt and a backless black long-sleeve, the groupchat helped you pick it out.
The plan is you leave your car by their apartment and spend the night, so you can drive home in the morning. You collectively decide to pregame before taking off to the bar, and whatever Vic put in her sparkly purple shots of any liquor that was in reach, is already making you feel sick, and it doesn’t get any better upon the sight you’re met with at the bar. It’s crowded and smells like spilled drinks and cheap vapes. Ellis waves you over to the very back of the room, where you spend a good portion of the night getting drunk, talking to the crew while Denis and Trinity play pool.
And then, “Hey”
She pulls you from your talk with Parker, Cassie, and she takes your breath away, again. Her hair is still up in a ponytail, her bangs are scattered from the usual hospital chaos, a few auburn wisps on each side of her perfect face, framing her cheeks. Her eyes are narrowed from the darkness of the bar, and nose flushed with the heat of the room.
“Careful with those heart eyes.” Parker leans in, voice low enough so only you can hear.
“I need to get a drink.” Agitated again, you get up to leave, feeling her eyes on you as you pass by. God, you want to try again, say her name, pull her away from the crowd, and make her break the promise she seemingly made to herself. Instead you just make your way to where the pregame crew is attempting a tournament in pool.
“What’s the deal with your girl Freckles?” Trinity pokes, still deep in the game.
“She’s not my girl Trin.” you exhale, sounding a little irritated–which was unusual for you but with the amount of beers you downed tonight, your emotions started to blur.
You watch Trinity’s concentrated face, the way her body follows her eyes, bending over the pool table and watching the tip of her stick, not like a predator but like she’s cutting someone open with a scalpel. You watch her boxy levi's shirt ride up her back slightly. You miss how the hairs on the back of her neck rise up, hearing her name gently roll of your lips–write it off as nervosity. She quickly shifts her right arm forwards, her bicep tensing up for a brief moment before the ball rolls into the corner.
“–she’s not?” Trinity looks up from the table still smirking from her win, but her voice suddenly lost the usual teasing edge and her eyes fall somewhere in between disbelief and hope? The kind of disbelief that says promise? instead of really?
“No, of course not.”
“But there’s something going on, right?”
A familiar laugh cuts through the hum of the room. A portion of the ED was still sat in the corner booth, the rest just lingered, danced, and attempted pool or beer pong. Cassie was sitting down across from Garcia, laughing about something she said. Your jaw tightens and you down the rest of your red plastic cup. They’re not even a thing, why are you so angry? You’re not even a thing.
“Honestly Trin, I don’t even care anymore. She can do whatever she wants.”
“Okay–“ she laughs out, her brows shooting up in surprise. “You know she’s jealous though, right?”
“She doesn’t get to be,” you sass and down another shot. Is she really? jealous of Trinity? “Let’s just get completely wasted tonight yeah?”
Despite the whole Cassie thing, you actually end up having a lot of fun, playing pool, playing beer pong, making the loser flirt for more drinks at the bar. It's around 2:00 am when Trinity leans onto the table next to you.
“You know,” her voice slurrs from having a little too much to drink, and she nudges you lightly with her shoulder, prompting you to look at her. “You know she’s watching you, right?”
You don't turn around, but you can feel it–the weight of Cassie's eyes burning into the back of your neck. Why is she still here? You thought she'd have to get back home early. Your head is buzzing, the bar is crowded, and the music is thumping through the walls. Your hair is sticking to the droplets of sweat that the dance-floor left on your forehead. But you feel it anyway, you feel her eyes on you.
Still, every time you feel the urge to turn around and go talk to her, you remember the sound of her laugh, one that doesn't belong to you, not now, not ever. It never will, you think.
“Good” you mutter, frowning into your empty glass.
“You don’t mean that.” Trinity grabs it from your hand to refill it with unsteady hands.
“Don’t I?” You raise an eyebrow at her and grab a ball from the pool table slowly rolling it between your palms before placing it back onto the felt, and looking back at Trinity. “She made it pretty clear we’re not anything.” You feel the lump in your throat taking form, and you’re pretty sure Trinity can hear it in your voice, but you stay composed.
“That’s not what it looked like earlier.”
You let out a short, humourless laugh that ends in a knowing smile. “Trust me. If Cassie McKay wanted something, she’d take it.”
Trinity’s eyes flick past you—towards the booth where Cassie is sitting with the others. “She’s still watching you.”
Neither of you speak for a moment. Trinity studies your face with an unreadable expression. You’re almost too drunk to think. The beat of the party swelling around you, music mixing with cigarette smoke, glasses hitting the wooden bar top, people shouting the wrong lyrics, dancing, yelling their drink orders. Your jaw tightens at the picture of Cassie with someone else, already over you, that creeps back into your drunk head. It floods your mind in vehement detail, making you silently spiral until Trinity gets a little closer and prompts you to look up at her.
“So,” she nods her head “what are you gonna do about it?”
You let out a slow breath, your buzzing brain still filled with the unwarranted images, chest tightening, and teeth gritted “How about…” you say slowly and Trinity raises an eyebrow. You lean in closer, voice so low that only she can hear it. “How about we give her something to watch?”
She watches you with a dazed smirk spreading across her face. “That’s a terrible idea,” she huffs, flustered.
“Yeah, so terrible.” You whisper and lean in, pushing your lips up against hers.
