Lost | Zabdiel de Jesús x Reader
You left Puerto Rico when you were sixteen, over five years ago now. You left a lot behind when you left the island. Your parents, your siblings, your best friend and first love.
You were five when you first met Zabdiel. He was six, just a few months older than you. Soon, both of you became inseparable. Whatever Zabdiel did, you wanted to do too. Luckily, you lived next to each other so it made it easy to do everything together.
Growing up with Zabdiel was so much fun. You went to all of his dance recitals and performances, and he tried really hard to rope you into dancing with him. You never said yes, even the day you left.
Zabdiel’s family and your family became very close as well, always teasing the both of you that you would end up married with children before you were thirty. This was an idea that you’d always rejected, shaking your head and scrunching your nose as Zabdiel did the same thing at the idea of marrying his best friend.
Things change, though, and slowly your relationship started to morph into something different, as both of you grew older. The day things really changed was the day he kissed you on the playground, after music class. You were both fourteen, and he had just finished pushing you on the swings. You were walking away with him when he stopped walking and grabbed your arm. You turned around with this really soft smile on your face, and you can still picture the soft flush on Zabdiel’s cheeks when he leaned in for the kiss, his nose bumping yours before his lips connected with yours in an awkward attempt at a kiss.
Your relationship had a slow burn. It didn’t go straight into a romantic relationship after that kiss, it kind of melded the two types of relationships together to form your own special bond with each other. There were lots of nights spent stargazing on the other’s roof, wrapped in blankets and each other, coming up with ideas of the future. You would talk about what you wanted out of life, and the one thing you could both agree on was that you wanted to chase your dreams before it was too late.
You also spent lots of nights with Zabdiel’s family, the sounds of music floating through their house. You watched Zabdiel the entire time, smiling and laughing as he danced and sang to whatever was playing. That was when you felt the love the strongest, watching him made butterflies flutter in your stomach, and a warmth spread through your chest.
You left two years later, almost to the day of your first kiss with Zabdiel. You got a scholarship to study in America, and you finished high school early so that you could leave and finish your degree early. The day you said goodbye to Zabdiel and you exchanged gifts, him clipping your new necklace together before you clip his bracelet onto his wrist. They were both plain silver, with a cursive initial on them.
Eventually, the distance started to get to you and Zabdiel, and slowly the loving phone calls from him turned into screaming matches. You called it off a few months after you’d left, unable to deal with the fighting and the turmoil any longer. You loved him so much that seeing the look on his face when you told him over video chat that you wanted to end things with him broke your heart so much that you couldn’t call home for days, and even skipped going home for Christmas break to avoid seeing Zabdiel.
That next fall, Zabdiel auditioned for and made it onto La Banda, and you made sure to keep up with every one of his performances. You would watch them on your phone, fingers toying at the necklace he’d given you all that time ago, that you could never take off. You followed his journey from Zabdiel,your next door neighbor, to Zabdiel the blonde bad boy who could beatbox. It was weird to see him growing and changing without you, but you’d done the same. You dyed your hair, just like he did, you’d grown into a completely different person without him by your side.
You stayed in the states after you finished college, almost immediately getting a job with a film company. You started out as an intern and slowly worked your way up into creative writing, eventually becoming head writer within your division.
It was a couple of days after your twenty-first birthday when your mom told you that Zabdiel, and his band,would be in your city shooting a video and playing at a venue. She let you know that she’d told him you were living there, just not your actual address. You’d managed to hide from Zabdiel for five years, but now he was going to be in your city, too close for comfort.
It was a dreary Monday morning the first time you spotted the blonde curls, bobbing down the hallway of your building. You weren’t really paying attention, though, and when you did a double take they were gone. You brushed it off as your anxiety and kept on with your day. The next day you saw another flash of platinum blonde curls, this time in the parking lot of your building. Once again, they were gone as quickly as they appeared. It wasn’t until several days later, when you were called to set that you got to see the blonde curls up close.
You heard him before you saw him. It was a laugh you would recognize anywhere, even though you hadn’t heard it in person in years. You froze in your spot, fingers immediately reaching for the charm bracelet on your wrist. You’d transferred his ‘z’ there, along with a couple of other charms, about a year after you guys had broken up.
Zabdiel turns around, the smile falling from his face when his eyes take in your frozen form. His mouth drops open slightly, and he moves forward, still in shock.
“Y/n? Eres tú?” He asks, and you nod, as he reaches out to pull you into a hug. He still towered over you, now more than he had years ago, and you swallow hard as you pull away from him.
"You found me after all this time?" Your voice is soft, a hint of disbelief in it.
"Of course, I never stopped looking.” His thumb gently caresses your cheek, and that's when you notice the tears spilling onto your skin. You hurriedly wipe your face on your sleeve, shaking your head.
“Uh, I was told to come down here for some script changes.” You clear your throat as you move towards the director, who waves you over. You stand with him for several minutes, a tablet in your hand as you both move things around and adjust the script, before deciding on the final print.
You go to walk away, keeping your head down, hoping Zabdiel wouldn’t see you.
“Y/N! Hey!” He grabs your arm and spins you to face him, a look of hurt crossing his features before they soften at your quivering lip.
“Que pasa?” He asks, pulling you into a hug. You push him away, both of your hands on his chest.
“Stop, you don’t get to comfort me anymore, Zabdiel.” His mouth opens and closes, before he pushes a hand through his straight blonde hair, messing it up slightly.
“That’s what best friends do, though.” He says, and you scoff.
“We’re not best friends anymore, Zabdiel. We haven’t been in years.” You say, tone cold as ice. He reaches for your wrist, holding it up so that the z on your bracelet dangles in between you.
“Then why do you still have this?” He asks, and you’re at a loss for words until he pulls up his sleeve, revealing the silver bracelet you’d given him at the airport. “Probably the same reason I still wear this.”
“Zab.. I don’t know what to say.” He lets your hand drop back to your side, with a soft sigh.
“Dime que todavía me amas. Say that you want to try this again, that things might be different this time.” His voice is soft, and with every sentence he steps closer to you, until you’re craning your neck to look up at him.
“I can’t. You know that the nature of your career keeps you on the road and gone quite a bit, and you remember what happened when we tried long distance? We didn’t speak to each other for five years.” You reach up and cup his cheek, giggling a little when he nudges his face into your hand.
“We won’t do that again. No dejaré que pase de nuevo.” You shake your head as he speaks, dropping your hand from his cheek.
“Zabdiel, you know it’s not a good idea. We should just stay friends.” You’re trying to keep from choking up, the tears threatening to spill over onto your cheeks. “I love you. I have to go back to work. I’ll see you later.”
Zabdiel watches you walk away from him for the second time in his life, torn because his best friend is back in his life, but not in the capacity he wanted.
