DIY: 7 Suggestions On How To Spice Up Your Sex Appeal With Food!
After stumbling upon Cosmo’s brilliant article “I Ate A Doughnut Off My Boyfriend’s Penis and It Was Awesome,” I was heavily inspired. In the article, Cosmo says, “Sex is AMAZING and almost always really good, especially if you’re with someone you love who knows how to werk it, but sometimes you just to spice shit up. And the spice in this particular instance comes in the form of a sexual doughnut.” Wisely said, Cosmo, wisely said. So, I got to thinking… why should the spice stop at a sexual doughnut around your man’s penis? Think about it, your man views your body like he views his food anyways: salivating at the sight of it and secretly always wanting to stick his dick in it.
With the help of photographer Zachary Grey and our beloved model and totally feminist-driven bff Mati Shaw, here are seven of our very own suggestions on how to spice up your sex appeal with food for the two most important things in life: your man and Instagram.
1. We’re not ones to beat around the bush, that’s your man’s job (obviously!). So, let’s start off by getting the plain and simple facts out there. Be a considerate lover by being mindful of this next time you send him nudes. Try it with an all-beef, kosher frank first. Your man seeing you munching on a hot dog will remind him of you devouring his own wiener!
2. Take #foodporn to the next level. Stop posting photos of your dumb burritos and super lame avocado salads. That’s so 2012. Be the hottest on your followers’ feeds and upload a sultry photo of you with a cheeseburger. Now that’s #foodporn.
3. Give your man a special surprise for when he ever so generously goes down on you by throwing a piece of pizza in front of your vagina. For all my girls in NYC, increase the incentive with a $2 slice of New York-style pizza. And for my Chicago babes, never underestimate the power of your own deep dish ;)
4. Ever used ice cubes in bed, 50 Shades of Grey style? Next time, save the ice cubes for your chardonnay and use ice cream instead! Pick a flavor with a cute color, like raspberry! Then giggle to yourself as you coyly mash it all over your breasts for some arousing chills. Soon enough your nipples will be hard, and sweet! He can lick off all the stickiness.
5. This ones pretty self-explanatory: Bring him a real breakfast in bed… A steamy pile of plump flapjacks, and we’re not talking about the pancakes.
6. Relive those cherished college glory days back when you were so broke you lived off of ramen! You’ll make your man’s dreams come true while he watches your mini-faux-lesbian-experimental-make-out-sesh! So tolerant, it’s trendy.
7. More of a sweets gal? Cure that jungle fever and try tip #6 with chocolate sauce instead!
