A correspondence
The Dances of Magic 4: A Step Too Far
After gathering the seven stones of Fate and receiving the blessing from the Goddess, Rily convinced the Zanaferyt Archons to train her in the secrets of the shrewd Warlocks.
But her greatest challenge is yet to come. Can she defeat the Ancient One and will she be able to save Kinorah from the return of the horrendous Nibraskerdim mages? And who is ultimately deserving of her love, the naive but brilliant Harran or the brooding, yet intriguing Jallov.
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Dear Wataniban and Sons,
I write to you from the best of my intentions, though I would lie if there wasn’t a certain urgency on my mind as well.
Ever since the publication of your series “The Dances of Magic”, we have had a surge of 15-year old girls wanting to ‘train’ with the Archons of my family.
And while we welcome anyone to become a member of our Clan, these girls were under the impression that they could gain our knowledge and insight without being one of us. A process they though they ‘could skip’. While I myself quickly discovered the source of their confusion, Patriarch Zulcel was almost assaulted by one of the girl’s parents for setting her wish in motion. I also had to convince Matriarch Sadreide of your good intentions, of which success I’m pleased to notify you of.
The process of becoming one of us is not to be taken lightly. The process is arduous and requires the utmost effort of the initiate (and quite fascinating, so I was rather bemused and a little disappointed why ‘Rily’ could just skip over this in ‘The Dances of Magic 3: The Last Step’. Being “the most talented of her generation” still would require her to go through all the [steps], but I digress.).
At the end, the initiate has become one of us and even then the Archons would not just share our best kept secrets - even when one is on a quest from the Goddess. (You should ask the Chosen One).
This brings me to my next point: our history of ostracization and outright persecution is not one you can use to invoke sympathy for your protagonist. Especially when the writer keeps invoking these inner monologues over her decision, mulling over whether she can still stay herself when she gains our [infernal] training (with of course her friend’s assurance that “there will always be good inside of her” - Mistress, what a phrasing).
This all while the writer describes in fine detail how - well - ‘mean’ the rest of the world is to her now; thinking of her as Zanaferyt when she is not.
I believe I do not need to point out the message you’re communicating to these 15-year old girls when you tell them that they can gain our carefully guarded knowledge and training and still think of us as ‘infernal’ and ‘wicked-natured’.
Then I understand from the plot that ‘Jallov’ (portmanteau between Jardor and Lovoridj?) is one of the Clan himself. In which case it would be entirely inappropriate for her to fall in love, as - like I have previously described - for her to qualify training she had become one of us. We do not tolerate incest of any kind and there is no such thing as a ‘complementary Zanaferyt’ as you seem to imply.
Speaking of the plot, while I wholly approve of lambasting the treacherous Nibraskerdim, I do have to point out that the Nibraskerdim were never Ancient worshipers. As a matter of fact, despite the insidious nature of these loathsome wizards, the Nibraskerdim have protected Telleh from a possible Resurgence, inspired by the Ancients. Credit where credit’s due.
Yours sincerely,
Guldan Apatroth Zanaferyt, Patriarch of the Family, Professor of Astronomy at the TUANS.
ps. I also don’t agree Rily’s choice to go with Harran, as I’m off the opinion both would be bad for her and her development - especially considering the origins of the Prophecy, but I’ll leave that for a different letter.