Self-Control Story - Chapter 1: Doubt
N04H stood before him, almost broken to the point he had already voiced out his last will. Hammer in hand, he was disposed to comply his last will. He lifted it, ready to swing it at the remains… But the hit never came. The hammer slipped his hands and tears slipped down his face.
“-Hey! How could you do this to me!?-Malroth’s voice sounded in his head.
-Forgive me, Malroth. Anessa has convinced His Majesty that you are too dangerous to walk free, and I cannot refuse a direct command from my king-the voice of that hypocrite and traitor sounded.
Truth to be told, Ice had been quite resented for what Warwick did. To the length of kicking him where it hurt the most before starting the fight.
-I’m not talking to you, stupid. Why, Ice? Why would you build a dungeon for them to throw me into? Just because they asked nicely?
That stung. He didn’t do things just because they asked nicely. While it is true he didn’t ask for an explanation, he had enough gears in his head to create a reasoning as to why they needed it, especially in Moonbrooke. In that kingdom he had been so cautious he had started throwing suspicion even on the king. Anessa was a suspect because of Warwick’s saying, then Warwick was suspicious for throwing such blame on her, the rest of soldiers… Well, Gerome had indeed manifested himself against his beliefs. Zara had been with the deserting soldiers, who had come from the outside, so she was under suspicion too.
-Listen, Malroth, nobody had-he was cut by his best friend turning around so he facing his back.
-I don’t want to hear your excuses. I don’t even want to see your face.”
Why? Why did he say that? He understood he had felt betrayed that time, but…
“The key fit in perfectly, meaning the only traitor was Warwick. He opened the door and neared his friend.
-Malroth…
-Oh. It’s you-he said with such indifference and disgust Ice felt as if his entire reality would turn into that one nightmare he once lived-So, you’ve finally decided to let me out, have you? What’s happened?
-Well, I built a huge tower weapon and… Atlas, the Major General of monsters wants to destroy us all… And is coming over for a visit-Ice said looking at the side, if Malroth was this resented then he’ll probably make a fuss over the weapon.
-…Huh. So you’ve built a massive magical cannon, and now the Major General of the monsters is on his way over to destroy us all. Ha ha ha! Are you serious? There’s a big, bad baddie coming, so now you decide to let me out of my cell?
-“Malroth, please, it’s not my fault that we live in an absolutist system…”-was what he’d wished to say, but hesitance pushed him back.
-You leave me locked away here-never even dropping by to say hello-and now that you’re in trouble, you come to me for help?
-“They didn’t let me anywhere near the cell! I would have passed by to say hello and have even a one-sided conversation!”-another answer that he wanted so badly to say, to scream at him… But he couldn’t, he just couldn’t.
-You’re disgusting, Gelius-Malroth spat like his name was poison.
He went out of the cell without bothering to look back. Ice was left alone trembling, but not from cold or fear. Malroth’s rejection and hatred stung so badly… It was as if somebody had been poisoning with a slow-working venom of those that really sting you. He tightened fists he hadn’t noticed that had formed. A shadow cast on his face, Ice cursed Rubiss for the first time in his whole life. He’d never been a religious person, in fact, he’d built the church because he knew the others were believers that needed a guide. He only built it because of the request that had formed by those who follow Rubiss. He hated the Goddess now with every cell of his being. Pure hatred that also targeted Hargon and his whole army. He hated everything now, every monster and human who believed things would go well, because, for him, things weren’t going well at all. A tear slipped and fell to the floor, shattering, for it was frozen.
-I hate you, Rubiss-he muttered when he’d anticipated the light glow trying to reach him-Don’t you even dare speak to me or I’ll go and seek for a way of destroying you, make you suffer. Haven’t I already proved vengeful enough for you to be cautious? Aren’t I that cursed child even his family rejects? Give it up, will you? I don’t care if it’s Erdrick’s or the Demon Lord’s blood the one that runs through my veins, I don’t care about wielding a sword to fight for a destiny that never belonged to me.”
There was no way Malroth would have ever wanted to see him again after he got thrown into the cell. That was bothersome for Ice. Build a castle, Lulu said, it will culminate our kingdom.
-“You can go burn in hell, Lulu”-he thought-“Did the thought of me being in the right mood to build a castle ever pass your head? I may have imagination, but back then I would have drawn a gigantic fortress with several weapons, like Cantlin.”
He didn’t even pay attention to whatever were Anessa and the others building. He couldn’t have cared less. Yowies? Snow fields? Those were already noted down by somebody else in the book. Traps? He was born in a giant fortress with weapons hidden everywhere. He would’ve loved to create the Cantlin Shield, though. In his mood, so stressed and mad over what had happened in the Kingdom, how a friendship that lasted three islands went to waste in less than a second. Sure, the thing about Ra’s mirror was another thing Malroth was angry about, but he had made sure to point out he had used the mirror on everyone, even the king himself, that he could have built a whole fortress around the Isle of Awakening with such traps not even the ship could’ve survived. Had he had a bit more of time…
“-Malroth, wait-Ice said after having gained back his composure, putting a hand on his shoulder.
-What? What else do you want?-he snapped turning with a harsh glare.
-Malroth, plase, I didn’t intend to imprison you, and I couldn’t decide even whether to-he was cut off by the red-eyed man again.
-Shut up! Okay? Just shut up. I’ve had enough of your excuses.
Tears welled up in Ice’s eyes. He’d already had an open wound with Malroth’s snappy behavior, and now it felt as if Malroth had thrown salt on it.
-Oh, for crying out- Anyone’d think you were the one whose best friend betrayed them…
-Malroth!-Anessa called.
Ice stopped listening at that point, looking away from Anessa. He didn’t want to show himself weak after slaughtering so mercilessly all those monsters, screaming and cursing each one of them as if a demon had possessed him. He’d even joked about doing an exorcism… Before Warwick and Anessa discovered the true nature of such an animalistic blood-thirst. Half human, half monster. Rejected by humans for being part monster, rejected by most monsters for being part human. The only creature that had accepted him as he was had been Malroth. His somewhat sassy and slightly rude behavior slightly reminded Ice of himself, when he was in Cantlin people often mentioned how he looked and acted like his grandfather, a very sassy and snappy builder with a great talent, merging Tantegel into one city, teaching the builders in Cantlin and becoming a modal builder in all of Alefgard, and Erdrick’s only cousin. The one that forged the Sword that the Prince of Midenhall used to slaughter the evil priest Hargon and his Master, whose name had been locked up inside his memories, no matter how many times he’d heard it.
-Hey, Gelius-calling him by that name was the part it hurt the most. He’d told him to call him Ice instead of Gelius, since “Ice Crystal” was the name his mother gave him, Gelius being his grandfather’s name, which had been passed down on him-I’ll help you beat Atlas. But after that, we’re done. You built a dungeon to lock me away and only let me out when you needed my help. That’s low.
Another critical hit. His soul’s HP seriously needed those medicinal herbs he carried around, or a healing spell at that matter.
-I suppose it makes sense, though. Why would a builder like you care about a guy like me who can only destroy stuff? I thought we could be friends, but I guess I was wrong. You and me, Gelius-we’re through.
“Since when were we a couple?” was the first thought that crossed Ice’s mind. Then, he processed the sentence’s meaning, which actually made him feel like his soul had been ripped by the Master of Destruction himself. Ironically, he eventually discovered Malroth indeed was the Master of Destruction, so he added this situation to the ones where irony made such a hurtful effect it was painful even to remember.”
His origins was something he kept a secret to everyone. The fact he had the legendary Erdrick’s blood running through his veins and at the same time monster blood also ran through said vessels made the irony even more accentuated whenever he thought of his destiny here. He had thought of the irony of it all when the king of Moonbrooke told him the blood of the hero ran through his veins and his knowledge about a certain secret that it seemed to also have been passed down in his family when he saw a very old and dusty blueprint about the Kazapple Cannon.
“Peace. How ironic. The world may be at peace, but his world was crumbling, falling apart. Anessa celebrated it, along many others. They even made a feast and a firework show. Ice couldn’t care less about shiny exploding things by then. He felt as if his soul was tearing itself apart, which would eventually lead to either multiple personalities or his own death. He went to talk with Malroth, sure, but only because the king asked so.
Perhaps he really was like Malroth had said. Doing things just because they asked for them nicely.
-…Huh? Oh, Gelius, it’s you. How long have you been standing there?
-“Good question, Malroth, I even lost track of time during the feast, so I wasn’t conscious I’d made it here until you said so, I could’ve fallen from the wall and I’d still be walking was it not for you and your little question.”
-That Kazapple cannon of yours is really something. Guess you won’t need me around to beat up the monsters any more.
-“Actually, I can’t make more than that one… Though if you saw how I’ve been in battle lately…”
-You build thing, I mash monsters. But you don’t need me any more-and I don’t need you-“Stop playing tough”-Once we get back to the island, we can go our separate ways.
The rest of the night was just a fuzz of lights and noise. He had been fond of exploding things once when he was about twelve. The Master Builder had to stop him before he blew up the Tantegel’s center with fireworks and wrecking balls. That had been left behind once his sweet friendship with Malroth had broken. Not even chips had he eaten in the feast, and it was by far his favorite food that could be cooked with Moonbrooke’s resources. Had it been for him, he would have gone to his room and stayed inside for the rest of the night.”
Malroth had left it clear enough: he didn’t want to see him anymore, let alone have a friendly conversation with him. He had stated clearly he didn’t need him, that they should take separate paths. So why was he insisting on intertwining them again? He surely was now BFFs with his oh-so-devoted follower Hargon, why would he need him now? N04H and the others, one the other hand…
By now tears were streaming down regularly through his face, eyes watery and watching N04H’s remains. He couldn’t stand it. Why was he trying to get to Malroth even? To make others happy? To fulfill that promise he’d made before their friendship teared apart? Why not care about the ones who were truly at his side, and not turning tables whenever they wanted? He was fed up of traitors, lies and all that crap. All he wanted was a happy family with a nice life, was it too much for the Goddess herself to give her favorite family a happy ending?
He hugged the pile of nearly useless metal.
-I’m sorry, I can’t do it-he cried onto the machine’s “chest”.
Hellen watched sorrowfully how the scene evolved. She had anticipated this. He’d shown himself a little too attached to very simple things such as that oaken club or the car he had so badly named. Affection was the problem this child had. He grew too attached to things, even knowing they could break so easily…
-Ice, there’s no doing it, either you do it or we do it-she said, though she had no intention of destroying the broken robot any time soon.
-No! I’m not going to! And I won’t let you! Who cares about the forsaken Master anymore!? Who cares we used to be friends? My friends are here and waiting for me to return back at the Isle! Screw Malroth! He’s as rotten a god as Rubiss!-he blew up-If he doesn’t want to see me, then be it! I don’t want to either!
Adamn growled. A direct insult to the Master of Destruction could cost him a high price.
-Ice, be reasonable! Didn’t you say you never broke your word? What about the promise you made back then?-Hellen said, containing Adamn by extending an arm.
“-Ice… If-anything-were-to-happen-that-led-me-to-my-end, I-want-you-to-promise-me-you-will-carry-on-my-last-will-N04H’s metallic voice called him.
-Sure, of course, after all, you almost didn’t live to tell it before, so I’m ready to accept it whenever it comes-he coolly said with an expression of pure seriousness-And I never break my word. I swear in the name of my bloodline I will carry on with your last will.”
Ice growled, glaring at the priestess. The Children of Hargon surely knew how to attack where it hurt the most. His tail popped up again and it threw itself at Hellen like a whip.
-And I will! But not here and not now! Not when the Master is menacing us all, let’s go! Whitebones, turn the engine on!
Everyone looked at the builder astonished. Surely he wasn’t planning on leaving another friend out there, right?
-Ice, weren’t you so determined to rescue Malroth?
Ice looked at Hellen, a cold stare.
-That was until someone died to reach my targets. I’m not like them. I’m not like the disgusting humankind. I’m not like my family… I’m not like Allen or Hargon. I wouldn’t fall so low as to take profit of others.
Something in the back of Hellen’s mind triggered when Hargon was brought to the conversation like that.
-Hargon wasn’t like that. He’s not one to break his word easily, like you used to be-she argued with a serious tone.
-How do you know? You’re not real, remember?-he said, his look turning into a dark one-Who cares about an illusion anyway? All this world is fake, isn’t it? Then let it be destroyed, I’ll be the emissary of destruction in the real world. Those who believe will be saved, those who don’t… Well, let’s just say salvation will be beyond their reach.
Ice started walking to the place Whitebones was, commanding people around. He spoke to him about the journey between worlds, a topic they both shared an interest.
Hellen scoffed, as if he knew a thing about reality and illusion. The child was already far beyond what this illusion could bring, talking to himself in a lively conversation being enough proof. She thought of the day she earned her title, back in Furrowfield’s council. How the screechy voice of the high priest had given a name, which turned out to be hers… How she learned the true nature of this world and her own self. It wasn’t easy to accept you were a mirror of Hargon’s memories, locked in the back of his mind while the illusion was created. A mirror of a person, specifically, a dead person.
In the half-in-ruins castle that towered over everything else in Malhalla, a bored high priest was resting on his throne resting his chin on his hand, the elbow of the arm of said hand resting on the throne in turn. He looked at his right, then his left, then at the front again.
-For how much more are we going to wait for that accursed builder, Malroth?-he voiced out loud for his Master to hear.
-Just a little more… I’m sure he must’ve figured out how to fly around here by now. It’s a matter of time he comes-he replied in Hargon’s mind.
-Honestly, do you believe he’ll even show up? I mean, he knows his place is not fighting us, and believe me, you could have already destroyed this world five times already.
-Just a little more?
-It’s been five months already!-Hargon screeched, the sentence echoing through all of the castle, then back to them-How much more are you going to wait until you realize they have no intention of coming?!
Hargon’s outburst shocked Malroth. In fact, the priest had been asking every five hours how long did he intend to wait, but he had been patient until now, which made him shout the harsh truth.
-I tolerated it the first months. Figuring out a way to move around here is as difficult as learning master-class spells without having cast the basic ones once before. When is it going to get through your thick skull? The builder is not coming!
-Then I’ll go find them-Malroth said appearing and crossing all four arms.
Hargon sighed.
-Honestly, you never know when to stop, do you?-he said bringing a hand to his forehead-I’ll go with you. Sometimes you need someone who isn’t the size of a two-floored house to call other people for them not to run away screaming for help.
With a nod, Malroth crouched and Hargon jumped on his back, arms crossed and a grumpy expression on his face.
-Go-he simply said before taking off.
They flied through the whole place, searching for them before Hargon caught a glimpse of something yellow.
-I could have sworn that our buildings were dark green… What is that?-he mumbled-Malroth! Over there! Check it out! But… be cautious, we don’t know if they have weapons.
-Sure-Malroth said before turning to fly in the direction that yellow building was.
Malroth, being the careless monster he was, one that used brute force, took the ark’s wall with two of his arms and peeked inside like it was a toy box.
-Hellen! There’s a massive green lizard trying to take over the ark!-Arisplotle called the priestess-Can you bring along Adamn and Zebadee?
-What kind of lizard do you mean, chi-she started and looked at Malroth-Oh.
-Fear not, my disciples-Hargon said jumping down onto the ark-the one you labeled as “massive green lizard” is our Lord and Master, Malroth. He has come to seek a slightly tall human with light blue hair, a backpack with a giant book and traveling clothing who says to be a builder.
Every monster in the crew looked to each other. After hearing Hargon’s ominous voice through statues, the Trinity had grown to think he would be an ominous character, but he somehow did look familiar. Perhaps it was, indeed, the high priest.
-I think the one you speak about is me-said Ice coming out of the kitchen with a deadly serious expression-I do not wish to hear what you have to say, Hargon, I am not like the family of heroes, I have been taught not to listen to evil creatures such as you.
Hargon looked at the builder from head to toe.
-Inspecting you closer, you do resemble the one that initiated your linage of builders. I have seen him enough times traveling through Torland to dare say that. It’s almost disgusting that Malroth grew fond of you, knowing your origins.
-Hargon-Malroth growled-We haven’t come for that and you know it.
Hargon scoffed. He’d found the builder, now what? What does he intend to do now?
-Hargon… It has indeed been a long time since I last heard of you-Hellen said-I am Hellen, the one you labeled as one of the three priests in the Trinity.
-I know who you are, could you do me a favor and shut up for now? Malroth has something to say, if I am not mistaken-he said.
-Oh… um… yeah… Ice… I… I’m sorry for what I said, can you come over so we can catch up?
-Now you come crawling at my feet to apologize, huh? Maybe Allen was right about you monsters…
Malroth could feel a tight knot in his stomach, wasn’t Allen the one Hargon had spoken like he was a bloodthirsty monster in a human body? Was Ice now resented and willing to follow the steps of the Prince of Midenhall?
-But I guess just by saying that we’re even, so… I guess I won’t take his words seriously-he said cracking up an evilish smile.
Malroth and Ice high-fived to celebrate it. They were friends again.
-So… Now that we’re friends again, can we go back to the Isle and…?
-Malroth, look at yourself. There’s no way you fit in your room in any way. You’re… Let’s put it this way, a twenty meter long giant winged lizard with fangs as big as me. Do you think the villagers are going to take this… normally?
-They took your thing fairly easily.
Ice furrowed his brows. By that time Hargon was sitting on the floor with his arms crossed, this was going to be a long, long talk.
-I am a half-monster with the regular human blood running through my veins… You, on the other hand, are the incarnation of Destruction and a giant lizard with four massive arms with which you can break anything.
-I can breath fire too-Malroth added.
-That does not help. We would have to shrink you or something, you don’t even fit inside the pyramid!
-Huh? I don’t? I thought that thing was huge.
-It is, but you’re even more huge.
Hellen was glaring daggers at Hargon by then. He had referred to her so rudely…
-I’m sorry-Hargon mumbled.
-What?-she asked.
-I’m sorry-he stated more clearly-I didn’t intend to snap like that, it’s just… I’m not in my best mood. I’ve been waiting for five months for this child to show up and he now asked me to find him so that they may be friends again. I’m… tired to say the least.
Hellen giggled. Hargon sure got worked up for something really silly.
-Um… I forgot to tell you, the rest of the Trinity is here… He’s Zebadee-she said pointing at the priest in charge of the Court of Chaos-And Adamn, the Inquisitor-she said pointing to the archdemon.
-Ah, yes. I still remember assigning you the charges back in the day… Happy times those where all I had to worry was travel around the world. Now I have to babysit Malroth because for some reason he acts like a teenager. Anyway-he said getting up-I must go, the world isn’t going to destroy by itself. Malroth! That’s enough! If you want to keep your friendly encounter take him, we’re leaving.
-Oh…
-Wait, you’re taking Ice with you!?-Hellen exclaimed.
Hargon turned around and signed something in monster language. His face was like saying “I’m fed up”, and his foot was constantly tapping against the ark’s floor.
Hellen gasped when she understood what was he saying, probably something very rude. Adamn wasn’t bright enough to understand it, he’d never been a coded language monster, but Zebadee understood it and his staff illuminated like when he was about to cast a spell. Hargon noticed this and pointed his own staff at the priest and it shone brightly.
-Hargon, stop-Malroth said picking Ice up with one hand-We’re about to go.
-You aren’t taking that child anywhere!-Hellen said angrily-Now put him down and stop whatever it is that stops the End of the World as We Know It.
Malroth didn’t understand anything, and so did Hargon. Why did the Trinity of Hargon want Malroth to put down his friend?
-Oh, I get it now, you have fallen for his tricks to, haven’t you?-he said looking at the bell-Truly, and here I thought you all were brighter than the rest… This bell is the sign of our archenemy! How dare you let him put that in front of our sacred place?! You have been building too, haven’t you? Can’t I trust my own Trinity? I chose you because your faith was genuine!
Hargon sounded betrayed in Ice’s ears. He had the exact same tone Malroth used in Moonbrooke’s fight. He felt sorry for him, he knew that even he had the right to feel betrayed, as evil as he was. Everyone had feelings… except for Rubiss maybe, that was clear enough. Words of trust, charges… They all had been entrusted with something and now they were following the exact opposite doctrines of those he had taught. He lowered his head in what he hoped was something like an apology.
-Let’s go, Malroth-he said, he sounded like he was trying to contain something.
While they were flying back Malroth asked Ice something very curious.
-Do you think it was the right choice to come and find you?
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