#zee writes stuff

[final-boss-katsuki]

Send positive thoughts friends, chapter 12 is kicking my ass. One of those 'tear it out of my brain and onto the page with brute force' writing experiences rather than the 'relax and let it flow' experiences.

Best guess is that it'll be another couple of days before it's ready to post. Fingers crossed my brain cooperates!

Here's a vaguely spoilery shot of my laptop screen to tide you over:

[simply-brightly-zee]

I am officially writing fic again, but for a fandom that's out of left field compared to my previous work - so it's time for my first side blog - follow me over at @final-boss-katsuki for my hero academia and bakudeku shenanigans.

The "childhood friends > toxic bullying feat one sided admiration > rivals > redemption arc allies > friends > yearning" got me, alright, especially with the constant through line of "most important person in my life"

If there are any mha fans amongst my followers I'd love to see you there!

[zeeimpalaangel]

I can't even begin to explain how at peace I am lately but I'll try. Jan. 9th, everything changed. In a split second life went from shitty to in chaos. I was ready to quit my job and run off. I was ready to leave everything and everyone behind. Then I took a step back and decided it was time to step down at work. I am no longer a manager and, I have to say, I have never been happier. For years (5+) my life has felt like a jigsaw puzzle. The pieces had been scattered all over the table and I was scrambling to find the ones that fit together all while balancing happiness, health, friendship, family, work and self care on my head while depression screamed in my ears. Needless to say, it all came crumbling down. I had been sitting in my mess trying to decide whether to clean it up, cry, or walk away. People were telling me to do one thing while others were telling me to do another while I just wanted to curl up into a ball and dissapear. That's when undecided to reevaluate. I looked at some of my friends and realized, they weren't friends, just illusions. I looked at my work and realized I wasn't enjoying it anymore and was dreading it day after day. I looked at self care and noticed it was rotting in certain places. I looked at my apartment and noticed I was living in filth and chaos. After a few days of breathing, I decided to start giving things back. Thanks to tax season, I've spent the past month only working 3 days a week and I have learned so much! I learned how to cook! I learned how to keep my apartment organized and clean! I noticed all the trash that I was hoarding and got rid of it. I noticed small ways to reorganize my life and started doing it! Turns out the puzzle was much easier when I organized the pieces and put in some earplugs to block the screaming depression. The puzzle has also been easier because I'm not balancing anything anymore. I have the time and energy to give away instead of trying to do it all at once. I was so busy all the time and so I was tired all the time and so my batteries were running on empty all the time. For as long as I can remember, its been important to me to not rely on the "stuff" in life yet all I've wanted for myself these past years was "stuff". More responsibility, higher pay, a bigger apartment, a newer car, vacations, etc. I wanted more "stuff". This new time has allowed me to reevaluate and see that I never needed MORE. I've had everything I needed this whole time I just couldn't see it. Is the drop in funds going to hurt, yes. Will it eventually cause me stress, of course it will, but not yet. Thanks to my taxes I'll be able to stretch the funds to help me out till July. That gives me 4 months (5 Total) to get my life back on track. 4 months to finish that puzzle and figure out who I am and what awaits me in life. I haven't had this much free time in 9 years and it feels AMAZING!

[final-boss-katsuki]

Katsuki blinked, eyes on Izuku’s hand. Realisation rose slowly; when they were done with this mission, he wouldn’t have to pretend to be in a couple with Izuku anymore.

Why… why did that thought make his chest twinge?

“Kanata?”

It’s not like he’d have to stop touching Izuku altogether; he’d just agreed to more sex in the future, for fuck’s sake. The only part that would stop would be the shit he hated. No more holding his hand, or tucking him into his side as they walked, or sitting pressed together.

Did he hate it? They were sitting together right now, Izuku’s leg warm against his.

“Hey, Kanata?” Izuku moved the hand Katsuki had been staring at, waving it in front of Katsuki’s face.

He startled, eyes refocusing. “Hey, sorry. That’s great about the delivery, Moneybags will be happy.”

Izuku’s brows drew together in concern, but he didn't comment on Katsuki's behaviour.

The arrival of their food saved Katsuki from further scrutiny. He chewed robotically, avoiding the worried glances Izuku was shooting at him.

Okay. So maybe the romancy shit wasn’t as horrible as he’d thought. He frowned down at his eggs. Was it just that it was tolerable because it was Izuku or did he… fuck did he enjoy it?

His mind pushed back at the thought in instant rebellion. No way. He’d tried that shit out years ago, and it never failed to make him uncomfortable. All it had ever given him was a vague sense of unease and awkward conversations with guys who were way more into him than he was into them.

Izuku’s hand was resting on the tabletop between them again. Impulsively, Katsuki swapped his chopsticks to his left hand; the period after the war where his right arm was out of commission had left him close to ambidextrous.

Before he could second guess the decision, he reached out and put his hand over Izuku’s.

Izuku paused with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, food dangling as he shot Katsuki a surprised glance.

Embarrassment brought heat to Katsuki’s cheeks. Never mind, experiment failed—this was awkward as fuck.

Casting about for something to say, he blurted, “Uh, what do you reckon the meeting today will be about?”

Izuku blinked. He didn’t move his hand out from under Katsuki’s. “Umm, I’m not sure, but Mr Shikano seems confident that we’ll be able to accomplish our goals.”

“Yeah, let’s hope he can back it up.” Katsuki shoved more food in his mouth, staring at his plate in feigned interest.

“…yeah,” Izuku agreed. He went back to eating as well.

Right, discomfort still definitely there. Clearly he’d just been getting his wires crossed between the mind-blowing sex and undercover antics, he’d never actually—

Izuku shifted his hand, and laced their fingers together.

Oh.

Shit, that… did his heart just fucking flutter? What the fuck, what the fuck, what was wrong with him?

Through sheer force of will he made himself continue eating. They finished the meal in silence, hands resting entwined on the table. When the waiter came to clear the dishes Katsuki seized the opportunity to reclaim his hand to help pass things over.

It wasn’t the time for… whatever this freak out was. There would be time after this damned mission was finally over. In the meantime, Katsuki had a job to do, and that job included engaging in romance shit. How he did or didn’t feel about it was irrelevant.

He was a fucking professional.

- sneak peek of Chapter 10 of The Rest Of Our Lives!

[final-boss-katsuki]

Sorry folks, slight delay for chapter 13! I am away this weekend and was hoping to get it done before I had to leave, but didn't quite manage it.

[final-boss-katsuki]

“It would be fine. Just some casual fucking between friends, nothing wrong with that.”

Oh it’s so over for them..chapter 9 was sooo facking good I’ve already reread it twice ur bakudeku Shakespeare

Omg thank you so much!!! Yup haha Katsuki bud you betta watch out you are due for some Revelations

So glad you liked the chapter, it gave me some real troubles and I had to rewrite a chunk so that's lovely to hear 😊

[final-boss-katsuki]

Queen when r we getting chapter 9? I’m dying to know what happens next your writing is *chefs kiss*

No rush tho!! I know there’s no set schedule

She is nearly done my friend! Here's a little sneak peek to tide you over:

Katsuki caught Izuku in his arms as he staggered, registering the bright red blood welling from the gashes in the suit material over his clavicle with horror.

“Izuku, fuck, are you—”

The cracking thump of an explosion cut him off, the shockwave making them teeter precariously as Katsuki tried to brace with his injured leg.

Katsuki looked up to see the smoking remains of the workstation Moth and Maverick had been using; they’d blown the whole thing to pieces. He spied Maverick leaping into the front of the helicopter. The blades hadn’t fully stopped rotating from when Eclipse had landed earlier, and they quickly sped up again along with the accelerating whine of the engine.

Katsuki hesitated, torn between his options. Moth and Maverick were going to get away if he didn’t act, but Izuku was bleeding so much. Katsuki hugged him closer; Izuku was blinking, eyes sharpening as he regained focus.

Logically, he should leave Eclipse to Izuku and go after the other two. That was what he’d usually do, what their battlefield connection was telling him Izuku would want him to do. That was undoubtedly the right tactical decision.

Katsuki couldn’t do it.

Red blood dripped over green nanotech, and for once Katsuki’s thoughts weren’t trained on victory.

Instead he was paralysed by the thought of loss.

He couldn’t lose Izuku. He just couldn’t. His entire being rebelled at the idea.

So, instead of turning to the rising helicopter, he touched his forehead briefly to Izuku’s.

“Stay.”

[final-boss-katsuki]

Little sneak peek for Chapter 8 of my bakudeku / dekubaku post canon fic!

“Hart is launching their war.”

Izuku’s horrified words echoed as Katsuki’s stomach started churning with dread. He scanned the incident map on his phone; multiple enemies, multiple cities—a coordinated attack in the middle of the night.

They were completely unprepared.

Katsuki looked up to meet Izuku’s frightened eyes, then startled. “Fuck, we have to move!”

Izuku flinched, eyes widening. “You’re right, I need—where’s my suit?!” He turned to the door, but Katsuki grabbed his wrist.

“Shit, wait—pants, Izuku—”

 Izuku jumped and looked down, clearly having forgotten his state of undress. “But, I—”

A banging knock came at the door, and they both froze. Katsuki cast his gaze about, searching for wherever he’d tossed Izuku’s shorts.

“Midoriya! Bakugo!”

That was Todoroki’s voice.

“Fuck off, Icy Hot, we saw it, we’re coming!” Katsuki yelled, finally spying Izuku’s pants under a side table.

There was the sound of a door handle turning; shit, he hadn’t relocked it after Izuku entered earlier.

“OI!” he snarled, “I said fucking wait!”

He moved to try and shove the door closed again, but he’d barely taken a step before Todoroki’s red and white head was poking through the opening.

Izuku made an embarrassed yelping sound as mismatched eyes fell on them both, but Todoroki didn’t react to their lack of clothes.

“Midoriya,” he said again, voice controlled but threaded through with worry. “I have your suit.” He leant a little further into the room, holding Izuku’s briefcase aloft. “You both need to hurry and get ready.”

He put the case on the floor, started to shut the door, then hesitated. “Also… the two of you are very confusing.”

Then he was gone, leaving them staring at the closed door in shock.