Terra Darling 💚 your fake fic ideas are all amazing!!!
🐑 So I couldn't help sending a set of tags for SNK 😉
Can't wait to read the summary!!! (no pressure though! Take your time 😘)
Press My Buzzer, Baby
Rating: Teen and Up
Fandom: Attack on Titan
Characters: Levi Ackerman / Hange Zoe; one-sided Levi Ackerman / Erwin Smith; one-sided Zeke Jaeger / Hange Zoe
Additional tags: #janitor!levi returns #levihan #eruri #zekehan #AU college/university #academic rivals to lovers #meet ugly #love rectangle #Hange Zoe is Mess #Levi Ackerman is a tease #Erwin Smith is whipped #science pick-up lines #teasing #banter #tension #affectionate insults #accidental flirt #romantic face punching #awkward sexual situations #inappropriate erections #Levi Ackerman wears glasses
Summary: “Speaking of Newton’s law of universal gravitation…” Hange purred, leaning their elbow upon the podium, “...if I’m attracted to you then you must be equally attracted to me.”
It’s the annual Inter-departmental Physics Bowl Final. Shingeki Technology College’s team of four are set to face the intimidatingly gifted Zeke Jaeger from Liberio University. Hange is nervous to meet their ex-crush head on, but fortunately Zeke’s brashness has rubbed his colleagues up the wrong way. Forced to quickly make up the numbers on his side, Zeke recruits several members of Shingeki’s site staff as replacements. Janitor Levi returns, only, he’s more than anyone expected.
For Levi Ackerman is secretly a genius.
Zeke’s strategy to fluster Hange and Erwin with his man candy seems to be working, but the competition continues until the Sudden Death round. Facing off against Levi, Hange’s attempts to distract him lead them to realise that playing on others’ insecurities will never be enough to win them the Physics Bowl cup…
Modern AU / SFW / Levihan slow burn / High school friends / Established relationships / Non-binary AFAB Hange Zoe / Swearwords / POV Levi Ackerman
His mood probably couldn’t get gloomier now that he had finished all the tasks -most likely meant to distract him from his dejection now he thought about it- that Miche had assigned to him since morning.
He was sitting on the steps leading to the porch, a glass of iced-tea from the bowl he had freshly prepared in hand. On the surface his face showed all the usual signs of annoyance and boredom that seemed to be his signature expression but, if you could get a closer look, melancholy tinged his features quite unexpectedly as he scrolled on his phone.
Levi frowned, squinting his eyes in the sun and gluing them to the screen. His heart sank when he saw Petra’s latest post on Instagram, a picture of Nifa and herself, all smiles as they drank some fruity cocktail from a ridiculously huge coconut through colorful straws. A nasty surge of jealousy stung him when he noticed the lustful glances a bunch of guys sitting with them around a restaurant table cast her way.
“The fuck that means,” he mumbled under his breath.
They were supposed to drink stupid cocktails from stupid coconuts together and they were supposed to bask in the sun on this stupid white sand beach together and they were supposed to soak in this stupid warm lagoon water together. But she had gone on vacation with Nifa instead, arguing she needed time. And space. To find herself, to recharge. To think about them.
Yeah, they were on a break. Yeah, she had decided this one-sidedly. Yeah, she had urged him to pack some of his stuff and stay at his best friend’s for a while. Yeah, he didn’t understand the fuck why she wanted this but he had obliged. Yeah, he would oblige again and again. And fucking yeah, he would do anything she asked if it meant he could win her back.
But dammit! Seeing her having a good time away from him, seeing her smiling as he was still stuck in anger and sadness after four weeks apart, imagining other men ogling her perfect curves, flirting with her, or even laying their dirty hands on her was tearing his heart apart.
A firm yet friendly pat on his shoulder snapped Levi off his stupor. He glanced sideways at Erwin as he sat down next to him.
“No point in hurting yourself over something you can’t control, Levi,” his best friend said, a hint of concern in his soft tone. A faint but incredibly fond smile appeared on Erwin’s face. “Get rid of your phone for now and go freshen up. You wouldn’t want Miche to scold you in front of the guests, would you?”
“As if I gave two shits about what that blond titan thinks!” Levi replied, rolling his eyes. He got up and pocketed his phone nonetheless, heading to his bedroom to change clothes.
He was pouring a refreshing drink for Nanaba, casually catching up with her, when a boisterous exclamation caught their attention. Everybody raised their heads and glasses, cheering the guest of honor as they waved frantically from the driveway where they were stepping out of their car.
“Oh my God! I can’t believe you all came! I’m so happy!” Hange shrieked, eyes sparkling with excitement and a huge smile on their face.
They laughed heartily as their step-brother picked them up in his arms and spun them around as if they weighed nothing.
“Happy birthday, Nerdling,” Miche whispered in their ear, his mustache tickling their skin when he pecked their cheek.
He loosened his embrace and let Hange go. Their gaze wandered around the garden to greet their guests, their radiant smile growing wider and reaching their eyes as they finally fell on their best friend.
“Happy birthday Hans!” she said, her arms wrapping around them. They held each other tight for a while until Hange peeked past Nanaba’s shoulder and recognised the short man standing next to the iced-tea bowl, his pouring gesture frozen in the air.
Hange’s eyes widened. “Holy Walls! Grumpy Pants, is that you?!”
“Tch… No shit, Four-Eyes,” he deadpanned, still gripping Nanaba’s glass by the rim.
“Still so handsome behind the scowl, right Shorty?” They chuckled and winked at him before turning to another guest.
For some reason his stomach churned.
A rhetorical question. Obviously.
The festive afternoon was drawing to a close. The birthday cake was nothing more than a few forgotten crumbs on a plate by now, the opened gifts had been thrown haphazardly on Hange’s car backseat, and the last guests had said their goodbyes a while ago.
Trash bags in hand, Miche, Erwin and Nanaba busied themselves around the garden and the terrace to throw paper plates and plastic cups away.
Levi had found the party more pleasant than expected. And definitely more pleasant than he would ever admit.
After flitting from one friend to the next, Hange had finally pulled out a chair to sit across from him in his favourite corner of the garden, near a bush of fragrant roses that always reminded him of his mother’s perfume.
They hadn’t met since the graduation ceremony a few years ago. They had caught up on what they had both been doing since then, inadvertently -and frankly, as an afterthought, much to his relief- dodging the matters of the heart.
He knew from Miche that they had been studying abroad in a prestigious university in Hizuru and had recently come back to work in a renowned research company in Trost, dragging their all-time lab partner Moblit -the fuck was this name by the way?- along with them. They had asked him a lot of questions about his work as an architect and his accomplishments in his hobbies. MMA techniques seemed to fascinate them by the way.
Levi's mind had been at ease listening to Hange’s enthusiastic babbling for hours, taking in their lively face and their bright, beautiful brown eyes behind their stained glasses. He had forgotten his worries for a while, lulled into a blissful daze by their voice, his heart almost soothed by their cheerful presence.
As the sun slowly set behind a hill, the gate creaked open to reveal a tall blond man with a well-trimmed beard and a pair of golden round glasses. Levi looked up at the newcomer who gestured to him to remain silent while he smoothly joined them, careful not to crunch the gravel under his feet.
Sensing something was off when their eyes fell on Levi’s face, Hange stopped their rant about whatever toxic plant they were blabbering about.
“Shorty? Something’s wrong? You’re as white as Moblit’s asscheeks all of a sudden!” they asked in a worried tone.
Moblit's assch-, what? Taken aback, Levi didn’t have time enough to retort.
Hange squealed when the man slid his hands over their waist from behind, but tilted their head back to look at him and flashed a beaming smile. He kissed their lips, lingering a bit too much to Levi’s liking, forcing him to avert his gaze in a burst of decency.
“By the Walls Zeke, I missed you so much!” Hange asked between kisses. “I’ve been waiting for you all day! Where have you been?”
Levi felt more and more like a creep, staring at the couple.
“Yelena missed her train to her parents' town so I gave her a drive there. Thought you wouldn’t mind, Honey!”
“Oh, Yelena… Of course I don’t mind!” Their voice faltered uncharacteristically.
Levi’s chest tightened as he noticed the way Hange’s face fell with their half-assed reply. How could someone be oblivious or careless enough to let down someone as kind as Hange on their own birthday? How could someone be cruel enough and bear to swipe Hange’s bright smile off their face?
That monkey could, of course.
Hange’s smile quickly came back to enlighten their face though. They got up, fidgeting with the paper napkin they still held in their hands. They tittered and gestured between both men.
“Oh, I'm sorry! Let me introduce you, guys!” they blurted out. “Zeke Darling, this is Levi Ackerman, Erwin’s best friend. Shorty, this is my fiancé Zeke Jaeger.”
Levi got up, gritting his teeth as he extended his hand and shook Zeke’s in a tight grip.
“What are the odds! You’re both renowned architects now I think about it!” Hange exclaimed cheerfully.
“Oh but your friend and I have already met before Honey!” The blond man smirked. “I won the Trost Finance Center building project over him!”
Zeke let go of Levi’s hand.
“Nice to see you again Ackerman,” he added with a feigned joviality.
He snaked his arm around Hange’s waist to pull them closer.
“Let’s go Honey! It’s getting late and I’d like to make it up to you tonight,” he said in a disgusting husky voice, shamelessly kissing his fiancée’s skin under their ear until they blushed and gasped like a shy teenager. Levi clenched his fists.
Hange stuttered as they bid him goodbye, promising to meet again soon over a cup of coffee, and waved to their hosts and best friend before heading to their car. They giggled when Zeke slid his hand down the small of their back and over their ass, whispering something in their ear as they walked down the driveway.
Levi’s eyes followed the rear lights until the car turned left at the end of the street, leaving a hollow feeling in his guts.
A friendly arm wrapped around his shoulder and Nanaba dragged him towards the house.
“C’mon Munchkin, let’s grab a beer and order a pizza!”
She pecked him on the cheek.
“So fucking gross Nana, I can’t stand wet kisses,” he grumbled.
“Of course you can’t sweetie.”
But he couldn’t help but smile when she pulled him closer to kiss him again and burst out laughing when he swiftly wiped his cheek.
Levi relished in the cool sensation of the breeze over his skin and the comforting warmth of his tea. The chirping of crickets nearby was lulling him into a peaceful slumber. He felt his stiff shoulders, his clenched jaw, his tense nape finally relax.
“So, Hange…” Erwin started once Nanaba had left and Miche had gone to bed.
“The fuck are you talking ‘bout Four-Eyes?” he replied, all the tension washing back over him.
Erwin raised his hands in a gesture of appeasement. “You seemed to get along well today, is all.”
Here we go, you blond bastard.
Erwin’s speech was only getting started and pain already throbbed in his head. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.
“Yeah, ‘twas nice to catch up after all those years. They’re not so bad to talk to.” He paused. “Distracted me from this shitty life of mine for a bit.”
“I could tell.” Erwin took a sip of coffee and placed the cup back on the saucer. “You didn’t seem to enjoy Zeke’s company though.”
“That monkey? Hell no! You know how dirty he played with the Finance Tower project and fucked me over! How could I ever want to see this shithead again, you dumbass?”
Erwin knew better than to reply yet.
“How this brainiac is engaged to such a jerk is beyond me! Like, it’s their birthday and he shows up when the party's over, with all his lovey-dovey shit to cover up how he spent the afternoon with someone else instead… Disrespectful at the very least ‘f you ask me!”
Erwin smirked at his friend’s rant.
“What’s with the smirk, moron?”
“Nothing really.” Erwin’s gaze softened. “I don’t remember hearing you say so many words in one go. Ever. I wonder what got into you.” He chuckled.
Levi clicked his tongue. “Nothing special. We were having a nice little talk with Four-Eyes and I started to forget the crap piling up in my life at the moment and that fucking monkey ruined it all.”
Silence settled for a few minutes between both men.
“Seemed to do you good talking with someone else. You’re gonna hang with them again? I mean Hange.” Erwin asked after a while.
“Er yeah I guess… They mentioned a cup of coffee or shit some day soon.”
“Good! We’re your friends and we’re all worried about you, Levi. But, as you won't talk to us then talk with Hange. Anything that makes you feel better.”
Levi facepalmed to soothe the increasing pounding in his head and sighed.
“Could you mind your own fucking business for once, Blondie?” he hissed, rubbing his temples in a circle. “You’re giving me a headache.”
Erwin stood up, put a hand on Levi’s shoulder and squeezed it.
“Well, I’ll leave you alone then.”
He scooped his coffee cup off the table and took a few steps towards the door before turning around.
“Try to sleep tonight. You need to get some rest.”
Levi remained silent.
Erwin’s steps echoed in the evening darkness and he stopped briefly when gripping the handle.
“Good night Levi. See you tomorrow.”
As the door softly clicked shut, Levi let out a sharp breath he was holding for some time.
Yeah. Another day full of crap. The sparkle Hange had briefly brought in his otherwise dull life today was at least something he supposed.
“Shit! Life sucks, huh Four-Eyes?” he muttered to himself. His day couldn’t get any shittier than it already was, right?
Something vibrated in his back pocket. He fished his phone and answered without even thinking.
“Levi?” Petra’s voice. His body stiffened.
“Uhm yeah…” He ran his fingers through his hair to try and shut down his nervousness.
“We need to talk.”
Requested by anon // Prompt #30 "Where have you been?" from this drabble challenge
Proofreading @dont-f-with-moogles Thank you so much for your help Terra Darling 🩶
Header & dividers @youre-ackermine
A/N: Crossposted on AO3 as chapter 2 of my series It's not like I've got something grand to say to you // This takes place one year before Dumbstruck // English is not my usual language
Ohmygoshhh why is Hanji so so good to be shipped with anyone?! 😩❤️❤️❤️
RIGHT??? You can ship Hange with anyone and have a really good ship in your hands???
Levihan? Excellent chemistry, opposites attract, great banter, immense angst, practically soulmates, made for each other kinda love, the 'wings of freedom' symbolism, the last of their kind and the only ones who could truly understand each other aah my heart
Mobuhan? Incredible loyalty, silent support, pure and selfless love, 'i've always got your back', 'i'd die for you', sleepless nights spent in yearning, also truckload of angst
Pikuhan? Also great chemistry, funny banter, grumpy/sunshine dynamic, very flirty and fruity oho, would work so well in a college AU omg
Eruhan? 'I know your burden', mature and respectful, soft and gentle, long time friends to secret lovers, ballrooms and fine wine in military uniforms, a very aesthetically pleasing ship
Onyahan? Science buds and kindred spirits, exploring the world together, dancing to jazz kinda vibes, very smooth talkers, on their best behaviour, so unique
Zekehan? FUCK YEAH the crackling rarepair, evenly matched intelligence, mind games, sleepless theory-nights running on caffeine, giggles and snorts, bad karaoke, reckless and wild, stupidest inside jokes, zero fucks given
