#zentxt

[zennybb]

I have nsfw maul art we drew almost 5 years ago that I've wanted to post for a while but never had the guts to. One day, one day.

[standfucker]

Jinbe, Sentomaru, Lucky Roux, Sasaki... that body type is so hot I can't be normal about it tbh

[kankrii]

every time I see an incredibly stupid tadc take I'm just blocking right away at this point, I can't deal with this media illiteracy anymore man it's driving me insane. (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

jax didn't "murder someone and has the cops waiting for him in the real world," jax didn't "run over a kid" just because there's a sign on the road which is common in american neighborhoods, everyone in the circus was not "trafficked" all because of the flashbacks jax had to driving a car. kindly, what the fuck are you guys on about.

if anything jax was probably running away from something, it could be him running from his loneliness, an abusive family, something that actually makes sense.

[standfucker]

Any other characters yall want to see "Playfully Begging for a Kiss" HC's for?

[standfucker]

I have been unemployed for a few months and I never talked about it because embarrassing. Even though it feels like people are getting laid off left and right. But! I might have a job. I will find out this week.

[standfucker]

life update

A little over a year ago, I started feeling more and more sleepy during the day. No matter how much I slept, whether too little or too much, I felt the same--as if I didn't sleep at all. It kept getting worse and worse until I realized I needed to go to my doctor. I'd fallen entirely out of writing and reading due to fatigue. Anyway,

Primary care doctor appointment: earliest availability two months away. Time = 2 months

Doctor referred me to sleep medicine for a sleep study. This was the longest wait. Earliest availability: 6 months. Time = 8 months

(keep in mind, the entire time I am so sleepy I practically can't drive because I'm scared of falling asleep on the road. My psychiatrist prescribes me a medication to prevent this in the meantime, one meant for narcolepsy+sleep apnea.)

Then I had the consultation and the sleep doctor said okay, let's schedule your sleep study. Earliest availability: 2 months away. Time = 10 months

I had the sleep study. The results didn't get interpreted until another two months away. Time = 12 months

The results said, yes, I had sleep apnea. Where you stop breathing in the middle of the night and wake up but don't remember it. So I get on a list to get a CPAP machine. That consultation was only a few weeks away thankfully.

So I started using the machine and slowly, over time started to feel like a normal(?) person again. At this point it had been 13 months since my symptoms started, and over half a thousand $$ for specialist co-pays and the sleep study. I still don't have any writing/reading motivation, though.

THEN.

April 2025: My work announces they are shutting down our department, and everyone will be terminated at the end of June. They give us some options to transfer positions, but it's a scramble and not a lot of openings.

I'm told by my work's HR department that if I move to a similar job to what I was doing (answering phones for a healthcare field) I would get a big pay cut. But, if I applied to become a Medical Assistant, I would be payed similar to what I currently make.

The chance of being hired to a hands-on position with no prior experience is minuscule. But I had to try. So I did practice interviews with a supervisor and worked really hard to make a good impression.

Somehow, it worked. I got hired as a Medical Assistant in a Urology clinic. It is now July 2025.

My work had changed from three 12-hour shifts a week sitting on my ass all day, to five 8-hour shifts M-F where I'm on my feet all day.

And now we're in the present. I'm happy to say I've been getting fic ideas again (I almost wept when I first realized it was happening.) However, starting from scratch in a position I have no experience in, in a fast-paced clinic, has been kicking my ass hard. I'm so exhausted at the end of the work day I can barely do anything during the week. I am really hoping it will get easier as I get used to the work. But being in learning mode all the time is draining, as well as managing the physical, mental, and emotional load of working with patients. I've seen a lot. I've learned a lot. I still have a long way to go.

So that's what has been going on with me the past year. I've been pretty burned out from work, mostly. I don't really know when I'll be posting anything next. It was a lot easier when I had 4 days off a week. But I've started being a little more active in my usual circles, and I hope that as soon as work isn't so hard all the time, I can have more energy for creativity.

TL;DR: spent 13 months being intensely fatigued, then fixed it only to start a really hard job that's been sucking all of my energy. Will I write again? Probably, but idk when.

If you've read all of this, thank you for caring enough to do so. ^^ I look forward to getting my energy back and doing something with it.

[kankrii]

I've said it once and I'll say it again, people really need to learn what proship actually means.

Saying "I don't support proship" means you are pro censorship. You are okay with people telling an artist to kill themselves because they drew a ship you don't like instead of

*checks notes*

blocking and moving on.

People also need to realize that if you are proship, it is okay to not like every single ship out there, or be alright with every kind of ship or kink or whatever. Proship literally just means that you support people being able to explore art without attacking random people online about it. But it is still up to you to curate your experience online. The block button is right there for everyone to use.

Also also, you literally can not be anti AND punk. Pro-censorship isn't fucking punk.

[standfucker]

I love you morally gray reader. I love you dark reader. I love you twisted fucked up reader. I love you irredeemable reader.