#zeph-rambles

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if Timekeeper Cookie gets milked and has more screentime over the months of CRK this year, at least it’s going to go to someone that’s actually likeable and realistic.

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CRK LEAKS //  ─ ·✶· ─

bro Beast-Yeast Episode 15 is looking insane rn. I'm more so concerned about how Royal Mike managed to record a whole video about ts. 😭😭

This is most likely another reason why Timekeeper Cookie had to drop in and reset the timeline cus if these guys died, then…

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@starsscape15 made these to my demise btw. I got permission to post them!! + if you look closely you can see that we gave WA his ahoge back from his beta assets. I thought it'd be a cute idea but it turned into...this. dunno why devsis gave him a trim, maybe WA himself cut it because others thought it was cute. /hj

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EWWWW THEY MAKE ME SICK, EVEN AGGIE KNOWS. /silly

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why are you so..fucking..happy…

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Bro, Devsis. 💀

Why the hell is Canelé here. Wasn’t she and Elder Custard arrested/self exiled…? It wasn’t explained at all as to how they just. magically came back? 😭 Everyone seemed PERFECTLY fine and it just contradicts what happened in the Odyssey story. It was such an enriching story yet this conclusion was absolutely anticlimactic, rushed, and had poor planning. I genuinely feel as if you guys do not read your own stories.

The racism allegory that Odyssey was building up was also destroyed.

Odyssey was slowly building up Oyster Cookie slowly having other opressed sea cookies gain more power and soon enter higher society in the republic. An oppressed woman helping her fellow oppressed. Yet, suddenly now…it's Clotted Cream doing it?

Ok, just casually trash any allegory you built up by having the vanillian, someone who comes from the people who are the reason sea cookies are even oppressed, and have HIM be the one aiding them! Seeing this throw out so much Odyssey built left so many people who care about the story (me and literally anyone who is literate with this game) mad.

Hire better story writers, PLEASE. not everyone is fond of the other things in the game and find the story very interesting just for it to get trashed later on. You’ve done this so many times it’s ridiculous. These stories make no sense anymore and butcher so many characters and their arcs, even the supposed important godly ones like the Guardians of Nature. WHY?

(I bet no one gives a fuck about this cus it’s not Ancient and Beast slop.)

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So uh. This is my proposition. Hah.

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May 2026.

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BEAST YEAST EP 15. THOUGHTS

As Someone That Skims Because I Have No Faith In Kingdom's Writing Anymore! [UNFILTERED]: This episode was...actual shit.

I'm so sorry for kingdom-onlies/kingdomites. It's such an unsatisfying ending and horrible thing to do to White Lily's character. A character that was developing through self discovery and awareness and carrying so much guilt all just to kill herself and not hang out or tell her friends until she actually dies. it reminds me of Lady Macbeth in some ways?? I hate the idea of pulling out the misogyny card, but…the amount of female characters either get shafted HARD or just straight up died in this game. The death was so damn predictable. I don't like how this usually happens to only female characters too, in media. How they’ve ruined this morally gray and misunderstood woman that’s done shitty things they turned her into a goddamn mary sue. THAT'S ONE MY KINNNS I HATE THIS. I hate how dangerous this message can be for people that deeply relate to White Lily Cookie’s struggles, especially for younger audiences. :(

Seeing my friends in a gc have a watch party over that episode was the funniest shit ever. LONGAN, TIMEKEEPER, JUST DESTROY THE KINGDOM TIMELINE ALREADY PLEASE- WHY THE FUCK DID THEY MAKE BLACK SUGAR SWAN AND SUGAR SWAN THE SAME CHARACTER?? IM JUST?? distraught...They nerfed Sugar Swan so much, a character that was created alongside the universe. Make up a bullshit excuse that Dark Enchantress drained her power back when she corrupted is also BS. THAT WAS BACK WHEN SWAN WASN'T A GOD LORE WISE. IT WAS ALREADY FUCKING RETCONNED. THEY RETCONNED A RETCON WITHOUT EVEN BOTHERING TO FULLY CHECK IT. 🥀

Even as someone who skims the BY stories. they somehow forgot that Stormbringer and Pitaya were in the stories and never addressed Frost Queen's disappearance. Butter Roll having no significant part of the plot as well the rest of the CoD, this game's actually fried. nothing makes sense anymore and idc for act 2.Considering they're already mischaracterizing timekeeper by making her scared/panic because of shadow milk. THAT WOMAN HAS SEEN THE worst and had CAUSED SHIT BECAUSE SHE WAS BORED yet NOW when she's NOT smiling for the first time it's cus of that blue fraud? are we serious, dawg? even WHEN TK's upset/scared/worried SHE'S NEVER FROWNED. 😭 that is NOT my CROB!Timekeeper as they seem to state. She was COMPLETELY CHILL when Longan caused destruction to the multiverse btw. 💀🙏 i REALLY would have preferred if WA (Wind Archer) were to almost die protecting Sugar Swan than Financier doing it. that's. literally his mother? IN FACT, THEY DON'T INTERACT IN THE STORY AT ALL. ALL THEY HAVE IS A KINGDOM INTERACTION ?? WHY. Imma be so honest..if Kingdom Longan Dragon Cookie destroys them all, i wouldn't feel anything considering it would spare them from this shitty narrative. my friends keep making jokes abt how they'll have longan talk about smilk being powerful when that's literally the opposite of what they do. mind you, i hate longan (which is good cus theyre a really well-written villain! I like joking abt em w my friend that loves longan dragon cookie, lowk think theyre making me hate-love longan). but bro's GOTTA do something 😭 mind you longan is waaaay too delusional and self-absorbed to even COMPLIMENT or even ACKNOWLEDGE a cookie's power. they wouldn't do ts. but knowing studio kingdom's writing choices nowadays they can do wtv they want w kingdom!longan. 💀 like. watch them make ananas’ "HAVE YOU NO PRIDE?!" line be the new bird hunting joke that Burning Spice for some reason makes every other time he’s on screen. 💔 It is absolutely BULLSHIT how all the beasts died except for the blue fuck. like they're not even HIDING the favoritism like if Shadow Milk is gonna become the new big bad at least don't kill off the rest of his group???? All the hype and build up for the Ultimate Cookie just for it to be basically CROB!Gingerbrave's introduction but with more shit is insane. EVERYONE WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE THE MAIN DEAL BUT IT GETS SIDELINED AND JUST RANDOMLY KIDNAPPED BY AN UNKNOWN HUMAN??? I actually LOVED the Ultimate Cookie, btw. I genuinely think it's so cool. but what the fuck. All kingdom's story recently is just hype moments and aura yet ZERO character development. 😭🤞 Ulti. Cookie basically just there for a few cutscenes and THAT'S IT. SERIOUSLY disappointing. Gingerbrave could've had SUCH an awesome moment with Ultimate Cookie and defeat DE/Dark Enchantress similar with how CROB!Gingy defeated Longan despite being scared, he knew what he had to do because THAT'S what true bravery is. But NOOOOO, OUT OF NOWHERE, WHITE LILY KILLS DE. She just appeared and stabbed her in the heart. All the characters that died in this chapter was also pointless cuz they literally used Sugar Swan as Deus Ex Machina. She revives everyone. It makes their deaths so meaningless. I can excuse Rambutan's death and revive cus Lychee was gonna crash out on everybody in Dragon Chronicles but the other Cookies that have died during that war REMAINED DEAD not everyone was revived.

Kingdom-onlies, just go migrate to Ovenbreak. I BEG. it has a way better storyline. It'll make a couple thinks make a LOT more sense and give you more context. Ever since kingdom got this new CEO everything's..drastically worsened. I feel awful for y'all. I feel awful for one of my moots too cus he actually hoped that this episode would be good but now he has 0 faith for this game. (on another note: im so excited for the CROB elemental cookie focus Cookies of Darkness update. im excited for how they'll write Agar Agar Cookie, and im excited to see the corrupted elementals again!! playing CROB rn, Longan's trial theme hits so hard it really shows you how dominating and how deep they are in their own grandiose. Listen to it. Also before anyone says it, yes. The Dragons AND The Elementals are stronger than the Beasts. This is factual and even shown in the game and outside of kingdom knowing their abilities.) You can really tell that the Kingdom writers don’t care about Ovenbreak lore despite how essential it really is. This is literally worse than Ovenbreak’s 6th anniversary.