#zero talking 2012

[zerotalking]

There has to be a law for that.

How come when I do something ridiculous, I almost always have an audience…

But when I do something awesome, there are never any witnesses to my awesomeness… Even in a crowded gym.

Kick flipping that yoga ball onto the rack just now was awesome.

Audience = 0.

Literally.

I believe there has to be some kind of universal law dictating that the size of your viewing audience is inversely proportional to the degree to which your action was awesome.

Themes:

Zero Talking comics

Originally published on: Sep 28, 2012 @ 09:46

There has to be a law for that. was originally published on Zero Talking

[zerotalking]

Disc Golf.

Dear Facebook Ads,

Thank you for pointing out my singleness and suggesting that I:

“Meet local women that love to disc golf.”

I’m not saying that wouldn’t be awesome, but seriously — I’ve got much sexier “likes” than THAT.

For example…

Crap.

OK FINE.

You win this round.

See the comments on Facebook

Themes:

Dear (somebody)

Zero Talking comics

Originally published on: Feb 7, 2012 @ 12:20

Disc Golf. was originally published on Zero Talking

[zerotalking]

Google this!

I like to add an exclamation point to the end of all my google searches — like I’m really SUPER EXCITED about it!

I sense that the search engine understands how important the search results will be and takes my search more seriously.

See the comments on Facebook.

Themes:

Weird thoughts and genius ideas

Zero Talking comics

Originally published on: Oct 13, 2012 @ 18:55

Google this! was originally published on Zero Talking

[zerotalking]

Meow

So a girl writes to me on match and all she says is “meow”. So that’s good, right?

I penned a very eloquent response, “meow, meow, meow.”

I think we’re really going places.

See the comments on Facebook.

Themes:

Online dating

Zero Talking comics

Originally published on: Aug 10, 2012 @ 12:54

Meow was originally published on Zero Talking

[zerotalking]

I had to be sure.

I probably could have guessed that I could eat a whole box of ice cream sandwiches… But I had to be sure.

See the comments on Facebook.

Themes:

Weird thoughts and genius ideas

Zero Talking comics

Related:

Hungry? Not anymore.

Well that’s different

Inner dialogue

To eat or not to eat the ice-cream.

Originally published on: Jul 4, 2012 @ 19:03

I had to be sure. was originally published on Zero Talking

[zerotalking]

May cause blindness

What I always see immediately after I read the warning label at the checkout that tells me not to look at the laser…

Read the comments on Facebook

Themes:

Zero Talking comics

Originally published on: Nov 21, 2012 @ 09:00

May cause blindness was originally published on Zero Talking

[zerotalking]

Well that's just Super...

All day I’ve been like…

“Hey, why aren’t people paying attention to me!?”

Then I realized, THIS is the one day of the year that you can wear your underwear on the outside and no one cares.

#Halloween

See the comments on Facebook

Themes:

Zero Talking comics

Related:

Mild, medium, or hot?

Well that’s just Super… was originally published on Zero Talking

[zerotalking]

Like a moment from the movies.

Like a moment from the movies, I step out of my car just as a pretty girl with short shorts and a tank top is about to walk by.

Momentarily disoriented, I proceed to miss putting my phone in my pocket and instead drop it straight to the pavement with a thud.

The girl notices — and without missing a beat kind of laughs and says, “I hate when that happens”.

And then we *kissed.

*Okay, we only kissed in my imagination, but still. Instead, she kept walking while I picked up my phone and checked for damage (none — saved by the case).

In any case, whoever wrote this script sucks! ;)

See the comments on Facebook.

Themes:

Encounters

Zero Talking comics

Like a moment from the movies. was originally published on Zero Talking