“This just in!”
“We here at CCNN have just been given an exclusive report regarding those known around Cherry proper as ‘The Gang!’ It looks like Harvard Hargrove II, Dean of CCU, has officially pressed charges against five young adults: Noah Russell, Mackenzie Walsh, Zahra Jackson, Zev King, and Elizabeth Logan, for what’s been dubbed ‘CCU’s Bloodless Massacre.’”
“It seems among vandalism, the five have been charged with disturbance of the peace, and filing false reports - and though we haven’t yet been informed of what punishment they may face, we are devoted to keeping you updated through this ongoing saga.”
“In addition to committing the ‘Bloodless Massacre’, one Mackenzie Walsh - the suspected ringleader, after being found with evidence from said ‘Massacre’ in his pocket - is also currently suspected of running guerilla ‘zine, ‘The Cherry Bomb.’”
“Grieving friends, or chaos-driven maniacs? It’s hard to say what the motivation might be, but for now - I’m Gail Geller, from CCNN. More at Eight.”