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hanahaki disease with dazaku and akutagawa seems to always be getting worse yet in reality his condition is semi stable because dazai actually does recipricate his feelings even if they're in a twisted way yet theyre still kind of on the cusp but at some point akutagawa moves on and now dazai is left with hanahaki disease as now he's the one whos love is unrequited and he accepts his death and akutagawa moves on and he's happier without dazai thisis true this happens
i miss dazaku i think if akutagawa got sick and was too delirious and ended up refusing pills, dazai would do that thing where he puts the pills in his mouth, kisses akutagawa and transfers it to his mouth during the kiss. pats akutagawa's cheek to make him swallow through the surprised blush then go about his day. he's disgusting like that!
an au akutagawa follows dazai when dazai defects and they both end up at the agency together and everyone at the ada knows these two have smth going on but no one ever really asks and atsushi entering just makes akutagawa's jealousy worse but in a way it's duller as well because akutagawa believes he's the only one who truly sees dazai for who he is and in a way he's actually correct yet also completely wrong-- dazai is trying to change but with akutagawa he just . cant and akutagawa being there means the way he treats akutagawa remains more or less the same in the mental sense
like they cuddle up together at night (toxicly ofc) (let me be delusional . . !! ! ) and then the next day at the ada dazai dumps all of his work on akutagawa and disappears elsewhere
akutagawa sees the way dazai twitches ever so slightly when they're dealing with someone causing a fuss he's the only one who can tell (well, not fully, I'm sure like, ranpo fukuzawa and yosano kinda know even in our original au) but he believes he's special and aAGGGHGH I CANT DO THIS </3 DAZAKU </3
childhood friends kid dazai and akutagawa play pretend and no matter who they're playing with akutagawa is always delegated the role of family dog
i love how dazaku romantically is doomed for faliure and never will be true but i will still love their dynamic forever
more on the akutagawa joining dazai when he defected au because it was actually one of the first few aus i thought about when i got into dazaku and it's actually so easy to think about im surprised i havent found more fics of it.. (Maybe.. it's a sign.. for me.... Guys we're getting dazaku to the top 100 ships guys we're doing this !!! ! )
dazai looooves dumping work onto akutagawa and then avoiding him entirely because a part of him doesn't want to interact with him since just being with him sometimes unintentionally lets this new mask hes trying to curate and blend into his true self slip purely because he's around akutagawa and it hurts akutagawa immensely but it also serves to fuel his thoughts of 'oh he wont even show himself to these others.'
and YEAH!!!! IM BEING DELUSIONAL!!!!! YES AKUTAGAWA AND DAZAI KISS IN THIS AU!!! theyre dating (not exactly but kind of) toxicly because i said so okay thanksyou <3 so akutagawa confronts dazai at night because they obviously live together and dazai always shrugs it off or worse, tells akutagawa to just scurry back to the mafia if he wants a master who constantly gives him orders like the dog he is (OUCH!!!! YUM!!!!)
ranpo definitely picks up on this but i dont think he'd particularly call dazai out but he'd discuss it with yosano and maybe even fukuzawa in case this was like a toxic situation but they cant find enough evidecne (they were right . .!! whoops ! !)
But akutagawa also kinda sorta changes for the better because i cant make my favourite suffer THAT much ( ican!) and i wanna imagine it's possible dazai lowkey #doesnotlikethat yet at the same time #lovingit (or as much as 'love' DAZAI can feel LMFAO) because akutagawa no longer completely seems infatuated with him on the surface and he can toy with him more but just a few too many threats and he comes running back
okay Delusional rant over !
"i hate you for what you did but i miss you like a little kid" but it's akutagawa about dazai kill me now
ah yes i love my friends polar opposite reactions to my dazaku delusions
