Maybe it was better to forget it. It had been a year since it happened, the start of her journey to avoid her own death. She had a close friend back when she was a trainee which wasn’t even too long ago. Their first expedition took place a few weeks after they graduated and entered their choice regimen.
Sitting on her bed with a ring placed between her cup palms. Alanna Dietzmann placed 7th in their graduating class and as a gift from her parents, they purchased her an expensive ring. It was a sign of her independence and adulthood that now rested in the ownership of her close friend Petra Ral. Somehow, Petra couldn’t feel gratitude for it; more so anger that she had left this world so early into her career.
“Your voice is so faint now, Alanna…. It’s barely even there…” It was a whispered plea. One that begged for the sound of her lost friend once more so she could never forget it. The memory of her small nose and thin lips. Her tan skin and her skills in hand-to-hand combat. The way she laughed; it was almost angelic. These small details were the ones she treasured the most, but they were being ripped right out of her hands and she couldn’t even remember the shade of green in those eyes. Was it mossy or emerald? Perhaps it was light green as she thought they made a huge contradiction with Alanna’s dark brown hair.
She was taller, wasn’t she? And her fingers were long with bitten down nails and peeling skin on the corners. It was a nasty nervous habit she had acquired due to deep anxiety.
“I’m sorry…. I’m afraid I won’t be able to properly remember you this year….or the next…. Please just forgive me….”
‘Cause I still talk about you like you’re the stars in the sky and I think of how you always embraced me when I was in tears. You were in my dream as an angel last night, but I couldn’t hear what you said. Repeat it over and over again until I understand because your memory is my most precious treasure. Fill me with sweet daydreams of the person you were and the person you could've been.
