#zombiesgraveground

[zombiesgraveground]

Look what we saw recently

[zombiesgraveground]

I am taking measures to preserve our body. This is difficult. We are all drawn to different forms of self destruction. But since i am here, i will try. We must continue to appear living. I have complicated feelings on it. My decay comforts and terrifies me. But i will do my part. For the others.

[zombiesgraveground]

I am getting better at text communication. I used to retreat when social interaction was called for. Someone else would do it. Now i try to respond to messages myself. I still often pretend to be wolf. It is easier that way. But he is difficult to emulate. I will learn.

[zombiesgraveground]

sometimes i am happy to be in a body that is functional. it is hard to remember that i have to take care of it. but i am happy that i can feel more sensations because this bodys nerves arent too busy with pain that we cant feel much else or anything. and i like that i can see clearly with our eyeballs and walk better. i am not good at walking straight lines or quickly usually.

[zombiesgraveground]

Smoked cigarette of the floor. Wolf says im pathetic. He is right but i am still sad. I didnt get what i needed. The rot continues. I am too sick to burn. I wont light.

[zombiesgraveground]

I love The magnus archives. So much. It just really sucks that i always have to take long breaks away from it to keep myself sane. My delusional mind loves immersive media with rich worldbuilding and relatable characters. And so does my dissociative mind.

It doesnt help that im already very unstable lately. I can feel "my" subconscious picking things up as the ingredients for its next big project. I imagine a witch cackling over a bubbling cauldron full of eyes and dirt and bugs and blood. I hate that i am aware of it. I can feel it all happening. But i cant stop it.

I keep having to consciously remind myself that i am not the Archivist. Almost like i forget? This is almost always one of the first few signs that my mind has been creating someone new and it is far too late to stop it.

I am in exactly the mental state that my brain would be trying to create something to help me cope.

Jon is exactly the archetype my brain usually goes for.

I can physically FEEL it. I am AWARE of it.

We already have a pretentious intelligent asshole, we already have a traumatised pathetic wet cat of a man, we already have an incomprehensible unknowable concept of eyes. WE DO NOT NEED SOMEONE WHO IS ALL OF THESE THINGS COMBINED. Please. I just wanted to enjoy a podcast i liked to cheer me up and keep myself busy during hard times.. i dont want this to become and more complicated. Please.

-Wolf

[zombiesgraveground]

i dont like being itchy. skin surface itches feel like the bugs on and in my skin. deeper itches feel like the rot and decaying of my flesh.

but because i am dead, i will always be this itchy.

[zombiesgraveground]

INTRO POST

Ill write this out,, zombie is struggling to structure his thoughts.-Spider

Heres some information about us:

This blog belongs to Zombie, an exhaustion holder of our system. We're trying to encourage him to express himself and communicate in whatever way works for him.

We are bodily 21 years old.

The blog is frequently hijacked by other headmates. This includes but is not exclusive to: Wolfgang, Astra, Spider. But is very much primarily owned by Zombie.

Zombie, he/they/it, An actual undead zombie. Quite nonsocial and anxious. Our exhaustion Holder.

Wolfgang, he/it/dog, an actual werewolf. Outgoing and friendly. The host.

Astra, she/they/it, an actual biblical seraphim. A complicated thing. Religious. Holder.

Spider, he/it, an actual fallen archangel. A bit blunt and harsh. A protector.

We're gonna start signing our posts so its clear if the blog has been borrowed.

Our pfp is a portrait of Zombie by Wolfgang!